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Quotes for
Lobo (Character)
from "Lobo" (2000)

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"Superman: The Main Man: Part I (#1.9)" (1996)
Lobo: Hey, how's it going, chief? Uh, maybe you can help me, I'm new in town and I'm looking to find this geek here.
[He tosses down a hologram of Superman]
Desk Cop: Superman? We don't keep tabs on him. He only shows up if there's trouble.
Lobo: [grins] I can do trouble.
[He draws his blaster]

Lobo: The name's Lobo. That's L as in "lacerate," O as in "obliterate," B as in "disem-bowel," and O as in, uh... well, I guess I can use "obliterate" twice. Huh, what do you think?
Superman: I think you're a certifiable madman.
[picks Lobo up and throws him into a police car]
Lobo: Thanks.

Lobo: Holy fragaroni! F-feels like I'm being torn apart! Cool.

Lobo: [to Superman] Now, the more you move, the worse it'll hurt, so feel free to go crazy.

Lobo: [kicks Superman into a police car] First rule of hunting, Super Dupe. Make the target come to *you*.
Superman: [waits till Lobo gets a little closer, then hits him hard across the face, knocking him into a street light] Good advice.

[after Lobo crashes a hole through Lexcorp's tower, Luthor stands barking orders]
Lex Luthor: Get maintenance teams on every floor! Put them on round-the-clock shifts if you have to, but I want all repairs completed...
[Lobo crashes through the floor and up through the ceiling]
Lobo: KILL-REND-FRAG-DESTROY!
Lex Luthor: ...immediately!

Lobo: Adios, Wrinkles. You want any more rare dorks snagged, you got my number.
Preserver: Actually, there is one other being I need for my collection: the last Czarnian.
Lobo: Ha! That's rich! I'm the last Czarnian.
[to Superman]
Lobo: I fragged the rest of the planet for my high school science project. Gave myself an "A."

[Lobo sits in the police station, idly shooting holes in the walls]
Lobo: [yawns] Ah, this is getting lame. I thought he'd be here by now. Whoa! Mosquito!
[fires again]


"Lobo: Pit Stop (#1.3)" (2000)
Lobo: Drag the Main Man on a wild geek chase to the Interstellar Managers Planet? By the time I get done with Sunny Jim, he'll be in so many pieces, he'll be painted red all over the galaxy.

Lobo: Enough sightseeing.
[Drops corpse to the ground]
Lobo: Better find Darlene.

Lobo: Feetal's giz! This place sucks!

Lobo: Frag off!
[Hits MBA into chest, with blood on his hand]
Lobo: You bean-counting geekwad!

Lobo: Then again, this place has its perks.
[Gets gun from bike]
Lobo: Ok boys, come and get it!

Lobo: [while killing MBA] I've got your fragging stock options right here!

Lobo: Yeah, hahahahahaha!


"Justice League: Hereafter (#2.19)" (2003)
Lobo: What's with all the long faces, Justice Dweebs? It's like a wake in here!

[Lobo has piled several cars on top of Kalibak]
Lobo: Say it... say it...
Kalibak: U-uncle...
Lobo: [lifts another car] I can't hear you!

Lobo: Now I get it! You clowns don't think the Main Man is tough enough to join your little Girl Scout troop! Easy mistake to fix!
[rips off a huge wall panel]
Lobo: You want an audition? Come on, ladies! Let's dance!

Lobo: The point is, Superman bit the big one, and the Main Man's here to take his place!
[Wonder Woman grabs him and throws him against the wall]
Wonder Woman: You're no Superman!
Lobo: The ladies say different.

Kalibak: I'm going to grind you into paste!
Lobo: Awful brave talk for a dead man.
Kalibak: I'm not dead yet!
Lobo: You're right - my watch is about ten seconds fast.

J'onn J'onzz: The Justice League is about more than physical power! It's about ideals, caring, helping.
Lobo: Buy me a ticket to Pukesville.


"Lobo: Lobo Is a Four Letter Word (#1.1)" (2000)
Alien: Hey, watch it! What are you trying to do, take my head off!
Lobo: [Lobo shoots the alien's head in a bloody mess] Don't mind if I do.

Lobo: Fragging flying, Gurkan! Fly this!

Lobo: Sunny, you fragging two-bit thrifter! Any butt-wipe would cheat bets with knockout gas!
Sunny Jim: You always were a class act, 'Bo!
Lobo: I've got your class right here.

Lobo: [Lobo's SpazzFrag was destroyed by a rocket launcher] MY BIKE! Fragging bastitch!

Lobo: You're letting yourself in for a world of hurt, Jimbo. You trashed the Main Man's
[Chain was destroyed, Lobo falls]
Lobo: SpazzFRAAAAAAAAAAAAAG!

Lobo: Now, you've done it, Sunny Jim. You're DEAD MEAT!


"Lobo: When Pigs Fly (#1.11)" (2000)
Fat Whutzat: Where do you think you're going, 'Bo?
Lobo: You said my bike would be ready today, Whutzat.
Fat Whutzat: What's that?
Lobo: My bike!

Fat Whutzat: Not until you settle up. No more credit.
[Lobo's bills show up, which is very long]
Fat Whutzat: Last time you paid your bill, he was a skinhead.
Lobo: Fragging bastitch!

Lobo: [to Fat Whutzat] Last time, clyde. Where's my BIKE? If I frag you, I'd never find it. Ah, feetal's giz.

Lobo: [Finds picture of Mudboy] Look it, there's 20,000 creds on this bastitch's head. That'll pay for the bike, some new gear and three nights with the Nutcracker Sisters.

Space Penguin: Could you maybe move your foot a little? I've got lower back pain to get parts from.
Lobo: Shut up!
Space Penguin: Hand off the pain and you get pecked in the nuts!
[Pecks Lobo's testicles]
Lobo: Aaaaaah, jeez!

Lobo: What the frag am I supposed to do with Space Penguins?


"Superman: The Main Man: Part II (#1.10)" (1996)
Lobo: Come on, man, they've got me so stuffed with gas I can barely move! I gotta get out of here!
Superman: So you can attack the Earth again? I don't think so.
[walks away]
Lobo: All right, I don't need you! I'm the Main Man! You hear me, you rag-fragging geekwad?
Alien Girls: Oh, my... such language.
[the girls extend their gas nozzles and spray Lobo]
Lobo: It might take me a week, it might take me ten years, but I'm gonna bust out...
[coughing]
Lobo: And kick that big red "S" of yours all over the galaxy! Right after I'm done nuking the earth into *guacamole*! And that's a promise!

Superman: If I let you out, do you swear to leave me and everyone else on Earth in peace?
Lobo: The Main Man's word is his bond, man... AH!
[He ducks aside as Superman punches a hole in the glass]

[after Superman lets him out]
Lobo: Hey, Blue. Thanks.
[punches him]
Superman: What was that for?
Lobo: Didn't want you to think I'd gone soft.

[as Superman and Lobo are chased by robot guards]
Superman: We need a decoy to draw their fire.
Lobo: [pushing him out] E-lected!

Preserver: Return to your enclosure immediately.
Lobo: Who's gonna make me?
[the small, wrinkled Preserver strains, and his outer shell breaks open, showing a huge, vicious monster emerging]
Lobo: ...I'm gonna have to stop saying that.

Lobo: Sqweek, old buddy, you're about to witness my good deed for this century!
Sqweek: You're gonna let me go?
Lobo: Huh. Funny.


"Lobo: Repeating Offender (#1.14)" (2000)
Lobo: You ate THIS guy! You owe me 10,000 credits, you bastitch!
Snake: I run the jails here. Mudboy got busted and I was his executioner.
Lobo: But he ain't dead yet!
Snake: He won't be digested for another six weeks.

Lobo: One way or another, you gonna cough up the money you cost me!

Lobo: Had enough?
Snake: [the Snake sees all the vomit] There's nothing left to eat.
Space Penguin: Hey! We're not going to carry you... and that!
Lobo: Yo, Lizard Lips! Have I got a deal for you. You like salty penguins?
[Snake growls]
Lobo: Here you go.
Space Penguin: Could you maybe not stand so close? You've got puke breath.

Nutcracker Sisters: Daddy, we've been washing cars.
Fat Whutzat: You do as you're told!
Lobo: Hey, fat ass! I've got your money. The Porkan's handed me the reward on the spot.
[Sees Nutcracker Sisters]
Lobo: Ladies.
[to Whutzat]
Lobo: In Cash!

Lobo: How old did you girls say you were?


"Lobo: Breakout! (#1.10)" (2000)
Lobo: Step it up, you bastiches! Feetal's giz! You slugs need to hit the gym!
Slaz: It's Snake. His meds make him bloat.

Slaz: He's gonna hurl!
[Snake threw up three times, one on the floor, one at Slaz and a syringe at Lobo's eye]
Lobo: Frag.
[the syringe landed at Lobo's eye]

Lobo: You're really a chunk in my stool, Snake!
[Lobo uses Snake as a battering ram]
Lobo: About time you made yourself useful.

Lobo: What the frag! We're one too many.
[Sees guards]
Lobo: Shit!
Slaz: We're safe, Snake.
[Lobo shoots Snake's head and Slaz cries]
Major Snake: [Final words] Oh, cool.

Lobo: Good job, Slaz. Grow a pair.
[Sees Sniff]
Lobo: Hey, bastitch. Where's the Cubans?


"Lobo: Market Day (#1.2)" (2000)
Lobo: First he cheats on the bet, then he trashes my Spazz. I'll this one for old Sunny Jim. He's got balls. Can't wait to see what they look like in his ears.

Darlene: Lobo. Thank God!
Lobo: I'm taking her off your hands, Sunny Boy.
Sunny Jim: Don't tempt me! I need the money.

Lobo: [to Tubo, after regeneration] Thanks, clyde. I think you've cleaned away most of my plaque.

Lobo: Don't forget to floss, fat-ass.
[Detonates explosive cigar from Tubo's mouth]


Injustice: Gods Among Us (2013) (VG)
Batman: Wrong Move!
Lobo: I Never Move Wrong!

Lobo: Ya got my colon riled up!
Superman: [deadpan] Thought I felt a draft.

Lobo: Time to liven up the joint!

Lobo: They don't call me the Main Man for nothing.


"Lobo: Payback Time (#1.5)" (2000)
Announcer: The head. He's addressing the head, he's lining up.
Lobo: Fore!
[Lobo swings his dead arm towards his secondary head]

Sunny Jim: Ow!
[Lobo caught Sunny in his chain]
Sunny Jim: Yeah. Is it too late for a simple apology?
Lobo: Well if you promise not to be a pain in the ass about it, I'll bring you in alive!
[Lobo smacks Sunny Jim hard enough so that his head remained flat]
Lobo: Of course, there are other ways you can define "alive".

Lobo: [to Darlene] It's fragging time!

Darlene: But first, another drinky-winky.
Lobo: Frag yeah!


"Lobo: Arms & The Main Man (#1.12)" (2000)
Stumpy: Hey, 'Bo!
Lobo: Hey, Stump.
Stumpy: You know you're maxed out on charge card, don't you, buddy?
Lobo: Come on, Stump. I need the heat to nail this asshole.

Lobo: Huh? That ain't no Porkan!

Lobo: [Found tracking device] I'll take it!


"Lobo: Bustin' Out of Oblivion (#1.6)" (2000)
Lobo: Okay. Suppose I was willing to break your brother out of jail. What's in it for the Main Man?
Sniff: Cuban cigars from Earth.
[Sniff's spikes kill a bug with his arm]
Sniff: Got a whole stash of them. Okay?
[Lobo smiles]

Lobo: [Lobo farts loudly] Lobo's my name and jail braking's my game!
[Lobo touched Sniff's skin, which impaled his arm]
Lobo: Yo, One Lung. The sponge!

Lobo: Frag that!
[Lobo shoots missiles from his SpazzFrag to the guards]


"Lobo" (2000)
Lobo: [Repeated line] Fragging bastitch!

Lobo: [Repeated line] Feetal's giz!

Lobo: [Repeated line] What the frag!


"Lobo: It's Fraggin' Time Again (#1.4)" (2000)
Lobo: Feetal's giz! I ain't been this stoked since I fragged my own planet!

Darlene: Keep shooting! I'm coming!
Lobo: Sounds like just my type.
Darlene: Wait 'till you hear what Sunny Jim asked me to swallow. He said you two made a bet to see who could date me first. I called him a liar.
Lobo: Fragging A he lied. I said drill you, not date you.
Darlene: You! But... you mean... you...

Lobo: [Now a head] Now, I'm really mad!
[Spits out blood]


"Lobo: Eat This! (#1.13)" (2000)
Snake: What do I look like to you?
Lobo: My johnson with herpes.

Lobo: That's some tapeworm. Yo, Snake Bitch! I'm looking for a guy from Porkas-8. Name's Mudboy.
Snake: What are you, a cop?
Lobo: Yeah, right. I'm a skip tracer and this tracking gizmo says you're the skip.
[the Snake eats Lobo's arm]
Lobo: Hey!
Snake: Porkans are swine-wine.

Snake: You can't have Mudboy. He's gone.
Lobo: GONE! What the frag are you talking about?
Snake: I ate him. Delicious.


"Lobo: Bustin' Out of Oblivion Part 3 (#1.8)" (2000)
Major Snake: [Mumbles] My meds... Octabong.
Lobo: Step it up, you slug! We've got incoming!

Lobo: Feetal's giz! Now, I'm pissed!
[Lobo stops]
Lobo: Wait a fragging minute, 'Bo. You're going with this all wrong.
Major Snake: Oh, green M&Ms.
Lobo: Your bro Sniff's throwing a party...
[Snake produces saliva]
Lobo: Just for the Snake!
Slaz: Yay, party, party! Hahahaha!

Lobo: [Lobo's head was completely shot] It just ain't my fragging day!


The Lobo Paramilitary Christmas Special (2002)
[last lines]
Lobo: Always did hate the holidays.

Lobo: Ho, ho, ho!

Lobo: It's payback time for a misarable childhood.
Santa Claus: Well, now, this hardly seems fair.
Lobo: It does if you're standing in my shoes.
Santa Claus: Okay, if gunning down an unarmed and myhic system is the only way you know... Go away, shoot.
Lobo: ...Okay.
[cocks his gun]


"Lobo: Lobo for President (#1.9)" (2000)
Campaign Manager: What others promise, he'll deliver. Integrity, truthfulness, candor, a president who will reach out a hand to forge a new partnership with the people.
[Lobo bursts out of the wall]
Lobo: This is CRAP!
[Lobo rips out the insides of the campaign manager]

Lobo: Eat lead, you scrotal sacks!

Lobo: Not enough executive experience, my opponent says. A vote for Lobo and FRAG THIS! This is CRAP!
[Lobo rips out his outfit]
Lobo: Let's cut the bullshit in this fucking place. You jackasses and assholes don't give a shit about issues! Stop it, you fucking bastitch! Kiss my hairy, infested ass! All you jack-offs want is a guy who looks fucking good on TV! FUCK this! The end you've been waiting for.
[Lobo moons at the camera]


"Lobo: Bustin' Out of Oblivion Part 2 (#1.7)" (2000)
Major Snake: [Snake wakes up] Whoa.
Lobo: Holy fragaroli! Major Snake!
[Rock riff heard in the background]
Lobo: My favorite rocker.

Slaz: We can't leave now. It's Major Snake's birthday!
Lobo: What do you mean, "we", butt-wipe?
Major Snake: Whoa.
Slaz: Oh, please. Wait.
[Slaz' spikes break Lobo's chain]
Lobo: [Lobo falls] FRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAG!
[Lobo was cut in half]
Lobo: Nothing's coming between me and my Cubans!
[Turrets fire near Lobo]
Lobo: Slaz, I'm busting your ass out of there, like it or not!
[Lobo's head was blown off by the turret]