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Quotes for
Sgt. Bob Cryer (Character)
from "The Bill" (1984)

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"The Bill: The Drugs Raid (#1.6)" (1984)
Sgt. Cryer: [to Maggie] You must have more tins of salmon at home than John West!

[Litten, Cryer and Martella are in the floor of the foyer in Decker's Club, frisking suspects for drugs]
P.C. Litten: 'Ere, you don't want to swap places with this one, do ya, Viv?
W.P.C. Martella: Not if it's a rubber glove job, I don't.
Sgt. Cryer: Now, cut out the romance, you two.

[Sgt. Cryer enters the charge room to find it jam-packed with the suspects from the drugs raid, along with a stressed Sgt. Penny, who is taking their names down]
Sgt. Penny: [raises his voice to all the suspects in the charge room] One at a time, what do think I am, a bloody robot? LET'S HAVE SOME QUIET, PLEASE!
Sgt. Cryer: [to Penny] 'Ere, is that perspiration on your forehead?
Sgt. Penny: How would you know?
Sgt. Cryer: Listen, I've got someone to make an old man very happy.
[Sure enough, Maggie, along with Miss Newnham, enters the charge room]
Sgt. Penny: Oh, no!
Maggie: [to Penny] Well, if you're gonna be like that, I'll come back later. I don't mind.
Sgt. Penny: [to Miss Newnham] Salmon?
Miss Newnham: Yes, 3 tins.
Sgt. Penny: All a mistake, I suppose.
Maggie: [to Penny] Well, I wouldn't do it on purpose, would I?
Sgt. Penny: [sighs] What on earth are we going to do with you, Maggie?
Maggie: Well, you can start off, by making me a nice cup of tea.

Maggie: I could do with a cup of rose 'ere, love. I'm spittin' feathers.
Sgt. Cryer: Me too, Maggie. Me too.

Maggie: [drinking her tea from a paper cup] Why can't I have a cup and saucer, like everybody else? I remember the time when you could get a decent cup of tea in this nick.
Sgt. Cryer: Safety regulations, Maggie.

"The Bill: 248 (#20.68)" (2004)
[after Ted Roach's funeral, Jack Meadows tells Bob Cryer and Alec Peters about how his problems with one of his C.I.D. officers has made him consider resigning]
DCI Jack Meadows: Sometimes, I could gladly strangle the little runt!
Bob Cryer: That's one way out of the job!

[when Jack Meadows, Bob Cryer and Alec Peters visit a cottage to find a witness to the hit and run in which Ted Roach died, Alec reveals what he would plant in the garden]
Bob Cryer: I thought you liked your allotment?
Alec Peters: Not where I live. Everything I grow gets nicked.

Bob Cryer: You're not thinking of packing it all in are you?
DCI Jack Meadows: I don't know what I'm thinking at the moment. Too many office politics in the job. Too much back-stabbing.
Alec Peters: There's always been back stabbing.
DCI Jack Meadows: Yeah but this new lot stab you in the front aswell. And they smile while they're doing it. I've got this DI called Manson, and I wouldn't trust him as far as I could throw him. All he thinks about is how he's going to get promoted. I could cheerfully strangle the little runt.
Alec Peters: That's one way out of the job!

"The Bill: Funny Ol' Business - Cops & Robbers (#1.1)" (1984)
Sgt. Cryer: You know, Roy, sometimes, just sometimes, you're almost human.
Det. Insp. Galloway: Oh, get stuffed!

Sgt. Burnside: Hello, Bob. How are ya?
Sgt. Cryer: Tommy Burnside.
Sgt. Burnside: Long time, no see.
Sgt. Cryer: So, why spoil it?
Sgt. Burnside: Go and take a jump, Sergeant.

Sgt. Cryer: [Referring to Edwards and Carver, after catching them in the middle of a water fight in the men's lavatories] Bleedin' Woodentops!

"The Bill: Blind Alleys, Clogged Roads (#3.7)" (1987)
Sgt. Cryer: [after seeing Sgt. Peters eating a sandwich in the CAD room] Oi, no sandwiches in here!
Sgt. Peters: It's cheese and chutney!
Sgt. Cryer: Oh, well, that's alright then.

Sgt. Cryer: [to Martella, after seeing her in casual dress] Yeah. Why don't you let me take up mugging?
W.P.C. Martella: You're welcome to try, Sarge.

"The Bill: A Dangerous Breed (#1.7)" (1984)
Sgt. Cryer: [At Lord Barstow-Smythe's residence] What took you so long?
Det. Insp. Galloway: Litten. He's a lousy driver.

"The Bill: Carry Your Bags, Sir? (#6.3)" (1990)
Sgt. Bob Cryer: Never Volunteer; it's an old army saying.
DI Burnside: I'll have to remember that next time I'm in an old army.

"The Bill: Ringer (#2.7)" (1986)
Sgt. Cryer: [surprised to see Burnside] Detective Sergeant Burnside? What are you doing here?
Det. Insp. Galloway: [angry] Don't talk to him, Bob!
[to Burnside]
Det. Insp. Galloway: Come here!

"The Bill: Long Odds (#1.4)" (1984)
Sgt. Cryer: [Sgt. Cryer and DI Galloway are in the pub, having a drink]
[last lines]
Sgt. Cryer: [to Galloway, jokingly] Why don't you stuff your job, right up your arse?
[Galloway and Cryer both chuckle in amusement]