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[In the episode Viva Las Vegas
: These are your aliases. You will use these aliases for the duration of our trip. Sound off. Kyle
: Harvey Wallbanger Tess
: PiÒa Colada Alex
: Tom Collins Isabel
: Brandy Alexander Maria
: Margarita Salt Liz
: Shirley Temple Max
: Rob Roy Michael
: And I'm your host Dr. Love
: I love the smell of formaldehyde in the morning.
: Actually Buddha himself first coined the phrase "know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em, know when to walk away and know when to run" Alex
: And yours is obviously a deep and abiding spiritual faith.
: Doesn't Buddhism disapprove of gambling?
: I think we need to talk. Alex
: About what? Max
: About what you did for me at the hospital. Alex
: Yeah, what... was that? I'd like to know. Max
: You saved my life. Alex
: Yeah, well, you screwed up mine.
: Ok, all right. You are going to tell me exactly what has been going on with Max and Topolsky and the actual FBI or I swear, Liz, this is the end of you and me being friends. Liz
: No Alex, don't say things... Alex
: What? Something that I won't go through with? Liz, I'm not kidding. All right? Now either you tell me the truth, or I walk. Liz
: Alex, I can't.
: I need your help. Alex
: [to his audience while he holds his arm around Maria
] Okay, I'm making a point here. The point here is, the musicians get the ladies.
: [noticing Alex is bleeding from his nose
] Tough game at dodgeball, Whitman? Alex
: Yeah, sure. Why not.
: So, tonight. That party everybody's talking about. Are you interested? Alex Whitman
: Yeah. Yeah, sure. Tell me how it goes.
: Alex, listen to me! This has nothing to with drugs. Alex... Max, Michael and Isabel... They aren't from around here. Alex Whitman
: Where are they from?
[Liz points her finger up
] Alex Whitman
: What, like Wyoming?
[Liz points her finger even higher up
] Alex Whitman
: Okay, fine, Canada! They're Canucks. So, what, you're saying the FBI are all over them because they're, like, illegal aliens? Liz
: Yeah. Sort of.
: So, how do you feel, you know, about what I said? Alex Whitman
: Well, part of me feels like you've gone insane, and the other part of me like I want some of the massive doses of hallucinogens you've obviously been taking.
: We've got to find out where they are. Alex
: How are we going to do that? Max
: We've got to go to Valenti. Micheal
: And tell him what? There's two Maxes. The good one's right here, but please help us catch his evil twin.
: Alex, you have no idea what's going on. Alex
: Does Michael love you? Isabel
: It's not that simple. Alex
: It should be.
: Don't you think I've known that from the start? That if I decided to go forward with this that things might get weird. Look, you said that you were ready for a relationship. Whatever's going on now, I know that you meant it. I know that it was real. Isabel
: It was. It was real. Alex
: I'll be here when you need me.
: You know, you need a better name. Alex
: Oh, come on. What's wrong with "The Whits"? Maria
: Just an S away from what you really are.
: Your answering machine's fixed, it just needed to be reset after the hundredth call. There are a lot of desperate guys out there.
: I did a striptease in front of her mother. Are you listening to me? Maria
: One nipple does not constitute a striptease, Alex. Alex
: She saw my nipple? Oh, God.
: Chill out, NYPD blue. Alex
: Chill out? Chill out? I spent $150 to rent this costume. And do you have any idea how it feels to walk around all day with a thong up your ass? Courtney
: Alex, you have to stop. We can't show weakness. Alex
: What, you think I'm being weak because I don't want anything bad to happen to you? I mean, to us? To all of us? Isabel
: You really do want to protect me, don't you? Alex
: I'd do anything. Isabel
: Nobody's ever said that to me before. I mean, except for Max and Michael, but they're my brothers, so... Alex
: Isabel, I meant what I said... about having somebody. I mean... everything gets easier once you're not alone.
: Look, I don't get it. Why would he go and do this after we all agreed? Isabel
: Because he's Michael. Max
: That's no excuse this time.
: I was wondering - do aliens enjoy the cinema? Isabel
: Alex... Alex
: Yeah, right. Sorry. The 'A' word.
: Isabel Evans and Alex Charles Whitman out on a date? That's like, miraculous, you know, this is-this is the biggest moment of Alex Charles Whitman's life... Liz
: Listen, why don't you just take some deep breaths, okay? Alex
: It's just- it's amazing, you know, I-it's totally amazing, it's-it's too amazing- oh, God. It's a joke, isn't it? It's a practical joke. You two are in on it, you bastards... Liz
: Alex... Alex, Alex, ummm, your paranoid schizophrenia, it's kicking in. Alex
: Right. I'm gonna go to the bathroom and go have a little talk with myself.
[Isabel is at Alex's grave
: How can I leave now, I haven't even lived yet. Alex
: I know how scary it is, to have to leave... leave this world, but as it turns out, it's not so bad. Your heart is your heart, your soul is your soul. That doesn't change. Isabel
: Why should I listen to you? You're not even real - you're just a figment of my imagination. Alex
: Well then you should really listen 'cause it's coming from within you. Go home. Isabel
: Home to what? I was a terrible person where I come from, I betrayed my own family. And what is home, anyway? Half of me is from there, half of me is from here. What makes one half more important than the other? Alex
: Well that's what you have to figure out
: You're not really here. Are you? Alex
: No. You're talking in your sleep. Isabel
: God I wish I could really talk to you Alex. Alex
: I'm the next best thing. What do you want to say? Isabel
: That I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Alex
: Me too. Isabel
: I never should have called you. Alex
: I called you. Remember? Isabel
: I never should've brought you into any of this. Alex
: Any of what? Isabel
: [bows her head
] Me. My life. Alex
: You think being with you had something to do with what happened? Isabel
: Yes, I do. I don't know how but - God, If you hadn't been involved with me. Alex
: [he tilts her chin so she's looking at him
] Hey, if I was really here, I'd tell you you're full of crap. You know that. Isabel
: Yeah, but it wouldn't make me feel any better. Alex
: I better go. Isabel
: Why? Alex
: I'm not making things any better for you. Isabel
: No, please. Please don't go. Alex
: I'm already gone. This is just a dream you'll eventually wake up from. Isabel
: Will I see you again? Alex
: That depends on you. But I have a feeling, I wouldn't want me to be here.
: Bye Isabel. Isabel
: I love you, Alex.
[He stops, turns around
: I think we both know... that I loved you too.
: We're just as human as you are, Alex. Only we can manipulate the molecular structure of things. Alex
: Why on earth, excuse the phrase, why would you be sent here to begin with? What purpose could you possibly serve? Isabel
: To wipe out the world one annoying teenager at a time?
[At school, Alex and Maria are walking down a hallway
] Maria DeLuca
: I have never seen her like this. Alex Whitman
: So this was like the kiss of the millennium? Maria DeLuca
: Alex, if they actually do it, she'll probably explode. Alex Whitman
: Or maybe she'll explode if they don't do it.
[Max and Michael are also walking through a hallway at school
: Did anything like that ever happen to Maria when you two... Michael
: No. Maxwell, let me assure you, you have not experienced anything I have not experienced many times or caused to be experienced. Max
: Then how can you call yourself my friend? Michael
: What? Max
: A friend wouldn't have kept something like that to himself.
[Liz starts to head for class and runs into Alex
: Oh! Alex Whitman
: Liz, what's goin' on? Liz
: Alex, the most incredible thing is happening to me, but I... I don't even know what it is. Alex Whitman
: I'm so confused. Alex
: I'm so depressed. Maria
: Oh, it's that obvious? Great. Great. Hey, listen... let me ask you guys a question. As women, do you find that all men are obsessive? Amy DeLuca
: Yes. Liz
: Absolutely. Maria
: No question.
: OK, I want some answers, all right? Because first of all, there are rumors going around that last week you were shot here in the cafe. And then at the crash festival you
[motions to Maria
: were seemingly run over by a car, but then you weren't. And everytime I walk up to you two, you go silent or make up some ridiculous story about Czechoslovakia, which is a country that has not existed for 10 years. So I want the truth, and I want it now. Liz
: Alex, the reason that we keep on changing the subject is... Maria
: Cramps. We have cramps, Alex. Liz
: Yeah, and we didn't even want to talk about it in front of you because we thought it would make you feel really uncomfortable. Maria
: But if you want really want to know, we can tell you. Liz
: In really excruciating detail. Alex
: No. I'm eating.
: You know, I gotta say, objectively speaking, you are incredibly beautiful this evening. Isabel
: You don't have to say that. Alex
: I know I don't.
: Ladies, uh... frosty beverage? Lonnie
: No three ways tonight, opie, maybe later.
: If we run, then he'll just keep hunting us and there's no coming back. Are you willing to never see home again? Any of you? Then we have to fight. Alex
: Fight the most elite unit in the FBI. Isabel
: Who now knows who we are and everything about us. Max
: Pierce does know who we are. But we also know who he is, and we're stronger than he thinks. We may be even stronger than we think.
[Isabel is kneeling at Alex's grave
: How can I leave now? I haven't even lived yet. Alex Whitman
: I know how scary it is to have to leave. To leave this world. But as it turns out... it's not so bad. Your heart is your heart; your soul is your soul. That doesn't change. Isabel
: Why should I listen to you? You're not even real. You're just a figment of my imagination. Alex Whitman
: Well, then you should really listen, because it's coming from within you. Go home. Isabel
: Home to what? I was a terrible person where I come from. I betrayed my whole family. What is home, anyway? Half of me is from there. Half of me is from here. What makes one half more important than the other? Alex Whitman
: I think that's what you have to figure out. Isabel
: Yeah. Alex, that night. That night at the prom when we danced. It was one of the best nights of my life and I never got to tell you that. Alex Whitman
: [Alex holds his hand out for her
: Go! Go to him! Isabel Amanda Evans
: I can't. Alex Whitman
: Isabel, will you look at what you're doing to your life? You're stopping it. You're killing it. You're sitting at a table with no one. I'm not really here! You need to move on and you need to move past me and you need to start now! Isabel Amanda Evans
: If I ever have a son, I'm gonna name him Alex. Alex Whitman
: Wh? Uh, thank you, that's truely er, thanks. Now go!
: Oh, my God. Alex
: Yeah, the northern lights. I can't describe it. Basically what it is is you're looking up there, and you're actually seeing electrons from the sun colliding with our atmosphere in every color you could possibly imagine. Really makes you realize what a big world is out there. All these... all these possibilities. All these... new experiences. Life. It's all just there... waiting for us. You really gotta travel, Liz. It's the most amazing thing. Liz
: Yeah. someday. Alex
: Right. When there's not so much goin' on.