Annie Hacker
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Quotes for
Annie Hacker (Character)
from "Yes Minister" (1980)

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"Yes Minister: Open Government (#1.1)" (1980)
James Hacker: What are you looking for?
Annie Hacker: Cigarette, I can't find any.
James Hacker: Cigarette box.
Annie Hacker: It's empty.
James Hacker: Take a librium.
Annie Hacker: I can't find the librium; that's why I'm looking for a cigarette.

Annie Hacker: I didn't know Bill could speak French.
James Hacker: He can hardly speak English.

James Hacker: *There is a ringing noise Hello? Hello? Hello?
Annie Hacker: Darling; that's the front door.

Frank Weisel: Did you know that Martin's got the Foreign Office?
James Hacker: Has he?
Frank Weisel: Jack's got Health, Fred's got energy.
Annie Hacker: Has anybody got brains?
James Hacker: You mean Education?
Annie Hacker: No, I know what I mean.
James Hacker: Well what's left? I mean what have I got?
Annie Hacker: Rhythm?

Annie Hacker: Oh congratulations Prime Minister. Misses Hacker here.
[Jim drops a pot out of nervousness]


"Yes Minister: The Devil You Know (#2.5)" (1981)
[discussing a cabinet colleague]
James Hacker: Don't forget, there's Basil Corbett. He's still out to get me.
Annie Hacker: Oh, he's out to get everyone.
James Hacker: He's a smooth-tongued, hardnosed, cold-eyed, two-faced creep.
Annie Hacker: Why is he so successful?
James Hacker: Because he's a smooth-tongued, hardnosed, cold-eyed, two-faced creep.

James Hacker: Elbows: the most important weapon in a politician's armoury.
Annie Hacker: Other than integrity!
James Hacker: Integrity?
[bursts out laughing]

[repeated line]
Sir Humphrey Appleby, Bernard Woolley, Annie Hacker, Sir Arnold Robinson, George - Jim's Driver: [referring to the Minister] You've done all right.

James Hacker: [Discussing the rumoured Cabinet reshuffle] It's difficult to tell. The PM might think I've been too much of a success. You know, a challenge to the leadership.
Annie Hacker: [disbelievingly] You?


"Yes Minister: Party Games (#3.8)" (1984)
Annie Hacker: [Bernard is waiting at the Hackers' flat for the Minister to come home] He's obviously been held up. You can stamp some of these cards for me while you're waiting if you like.
Bernard Woolley: Oh, but aren't they to constituents?
Annie Hacker: Yes.
Bernard Woolley: Well, that's not government business, Mrs Hacker, that's political activity. I'm not allowed to help with the Minister's political activities.
Annie Hacker: Suppose they were all to journalists?
Bernard Woolley: Oh, that would be alright.
Annie Hacker: They're all to journalists.
Bernard Woolley: Fine. I suppose licking is an essential part of relationships with the press.

Bernard Woolley, James Hacker, Annie Hacker: Have you heard the news?
Bernard Woolley, James Hacker, Annie Hacker: Yes!

Bernard Woolley: So the resignation is to give time for the new leader to be run in before the next election?
Annie Hacker: Now the Home Secretary's been run in already!
[They both laugh]

Bernard Woolley: [Discussing possible reasons for the Prime Minister's early retirement] Minister, I've heard something quite different.
James Hacker: What?
Bernard Woolley: That there is £1 million worth of diamonds from South Africa in a Downing Street safe, but of course it's only a rumour.
James Hacker: Is that true?
Bernard Woolley: Oh, yes.
James Hacker: So, there ARE all those diamonds in Downing Street!
Bernard Woolley: Are there?
James Hacker: You just said there were.
Bernard Woolley: No, I didn't.
James Hacker: Yes, you did! You said you'd heard this rumour, I said is it true, you said yes!
Bernard Woolley: I said yes, it was true that it was a rumour.
James Hacker: You said you heard it was true!
Bernard Woolley: No, I said it was true that I heard it!
Annie Hacker: I'm sorry to cut into this important discussion, but do you believe it?
James Hacker: I believe I heard it. Oh, about the diamonds. No.
Annie Hacker: Is it impossible?
James Hacker: No, but it's never been officially denied. First rule in politics: never believe anything until it's officially denied.


"Yes Minister: The Right to Know (#1.6)" (1980)
Lucy Hacker: It's because badgers don't have votes, isn't it?
James Hacker: Eh?
Lucy Hacker: If the badgers had votes, you wouldn't be exterminating them. No, you'd be up at Haywood Spinney, shaking paws and kissing cubs, ingratiating yourself the way you always do!
Annie Hacker: Lucy, that's not a very nice thing to say.
Lucy Hacker: It's true, isn't it?
Annie Hacker: Yes, but Daddy's in politics. He has to be ingratiating.

Annie Hacker: Darling, how did you get to become a Cabinet Minister? You're such a clot.

Annie Hacker: Lucy, darling, that's not fair. Those Civil Servants may be always kowtowing to Daddy, but they never take any notice of him.


"Yes Minister: Big Brother (#1.4)" (1980)
[Hacker is about to ask for advice from his predecessor, a member of the Opposition party]
James Hacker: The Opposition aren't the opposition.
Annie Hacker: No of course not, silly of me. They're just called the opposition.
James Hacker: They're only the opposition in exile. The Civil Service is the opposition in residence.

[Hacker has just hung up after calling Sir Humphrey at 2 a.m. about a paper about the national database]
James Hacker: Oh, damn. I meant to tell him to come and see me about it before cabinet.
Annie Hacker: Don't ring him now!
James Hacker: No. Perhaps you're right. It is a bit late.
Annie Hacker: Give him another ten minutes...


"Yes, Prime Minister: Power to the People (#2.5)" (1988)
James Hacker: You know that Agnes Moorhouse woman?
Annie Hacker: Yes.
James Hacker: I told Humphrey to have a word with her.
Annie Hacker: That sounds like an interesting experiment.
James Hacker: He says it went quite well, but he didn't want to talk about it very much and he had four whiskeys in ten minutes.

James Hacker: [after Dorothy has just explained a brilliant scheme to reform the government of Britain] And I shall be the great reformer. Hacker's Reform Bill. I shall introduce it myself. 'The power of this country does not lie in offices and institutions, it lies in the stout hearts and strong wills of the yeomen of Britain...
Annie Hacker: Women have the vote too!
James Hacker: The yeowomen of Britain... yeopersons... yeopeople... No, the people of this island race, on their broad and wise shoulders...
Annie Hacker: And you can't have wise shoulders!
James Hacker: On their broad shoulders, wise hearts, heads, on their heads lies our destiny. We must give back power to the people.' And I shall be the one to introduce this, um... What shall I call this new scheme?
Dorothy Wainwright: Democracy?


"Yes Minister: The Moral Dimension (#3.4)" (1982)
Bernard Woolley: [Around at the Hackers' flat] Oh, there's that jar from Qumran.
Annie Hacker: Yes, funny enough, a friend of mine was round this afternoon and was frightfully interested in it.
Bernard Woolley: Oh, really?
Annie Hacker: Her name's Jenny Goodwin, from "The Guardian".
Bernard Woolley: The Guardian?
Annie Hacker: She asked where it came from.
Bernard Woolley: A journalist?
Annie Hacker: Yes. Well, the Guardian, anyway. She asked what it was worth. I said about £50.
Bernard Woolley: You said about £50.
Annie Hacker: Yes, funny enough, she thought it was genuine.
Bernard Woolley: She thought it was genuine.
Annie Hacker: Yes. Bernard, you sound like an answering machine.
Bernard Woolley: Oh, I'm sorry.
Annie Hacker: She asked if I mind if she rang up the Qumrany Embassy to ask what it was worth.
Bernard Woolley: To ask what it was worth.
[Annie gives him a strange look]
Bernard Woolley: Oh, ah, so what did you say?
Annie Hacker: Oh, I said by all means. It is only a copy, isn't it, Bernard?
Bernard Woolley: Well, uh, so far as I'm... so I'm... lead to...
[glances at his watch]
Bernard Woolley: Good gracious, is that the time?

James Hacker: Bernard. Wanted in the communications room. A Mr John Walker.
Bernard Woolley: Johnnie Walker?
James Hacker: Yes, from the Scotch Office... Sorry. Scottish Office.
Annie Hacker: Isn't there a message for me?
James Hacker: Yes, of course. Bernard will get it for you if you give him your glass. If you... give him your glass, he'll get you some more orange juice.


"Yes Minister: Equal Opportunities (#3.1)" (1982)
James Hacker: That is the last interview I give for a school magazine; she asked some very difficult questions.
Annie Hacker: Not difficult, just innocent. She was assuming there was some moral basis to your activities.
James Hacker: Well, there is.
Annie Hacker: Oh Jim, don't be silly.


"Yes, Prime Minister: The Grand Design (#1.1)" (1986)
Jim Hacker: Hello darling! What's for lunch?
Annie Hacker: You tell me.
Jim Hacker: Are you going somewhere?
Annie Hacker: Voluntary services committee. I did tell you.
Jim Hacker: Just thought some scrambled eggs or something.
Annie Hacker: Oh, I think there's some eggs in the fridge.
Jim Hacker: You want me to do it?
Annie Hacker: We agreed I'd go on with my work, didn't we? It's bad enough living in this goldfish bowl anyway. Every time I want to slip out for a sliced loaf I have to walk past a dozen journalists and fifty gawping tourists. There's no privacy anywhere.
Jim Hacker: Now that's not true.
Security Guard: Excuse me, Prime Minister, security check. Could I have a look around?
Annie Hacker: Privacy?
Jim Hacker: You could always walk in the garden.
Annie Hacker: There's about fifty people staring at you from the windows, it's like exercising in a prison yard.
Jim Hacker: At least it's quiet.
[a band starts playing loudly]
Annie Hacker: Quiet? That's been going on since half past eight this morning.
Jim Hacker: They have to practise somewhere.
Annie Hacker: Why here?
Jim Hacker: Darling, they're Horseguards, that's the Horseguard's parade.
Annie Hacker: And to think we actually have to pay rent for this place. They should pay us.
Jim Hacker: Annie, you must realise that a life in public service demands some sacrifice.
Annie Hacker: Fine. You sacrifice your lunch, I'm late.
Jim Hacker: But I'm hungry. What did you have for your lunch?
Annie Hacker: Half a Yorkie bar.
Jim Hacker: Where's the other half?


"Yes Minister: The Whisky Priest (#3.6)" (1982)
James Hacker: [Last lines]
[Drunk]
James Hacker: I'll tell you about government. You must always do the right thing. But, you must never let anybody catch you trying to do it. Because doing right's wrong, right?
Annie Hacker: Haven't you had enough, darling?
James Hacker: Still some left in the bottle. No, the thing about government is principle, and the principle is you mustn't rock the boat, because if you do, all the little consciences will fall out. And you must all hang together. Because if you don't hang together, you'll be hanged separately. I'm hanged if I'll be hanged! You know, politics is about helping others. Even if that means helping terrorists. Terrorists are others, aren't they? Not us, are they? No. And you must always follow your conscience, but you must always know where you're going. So you can't follow your conscience. Cause it may not be going the same way you are.
[Picking up the whiskey bottle]
James Hacker: Empty... like me. I'm a moral vacuum.
Annie Hacker: Oh, cheer up, darling. Nothing good comes out of Whitehall. You did what you could.
James Hacker: You don't really mean that.
Annie Hacker: I do.
James Hacker: No, I'm just like Humphrey and all the rest of them.
Annie Hacker: Now that's certainly not true.
James Hacker: No?
Annie Hacker: He's lost his sense of right and wrong. You've still got yours.
James Hacker: [Depressed] Have I?
Annie Hacker: It's just that you don't use it much. You're a sort of whiskey priest. You do at least know when you've done the wrong thing.
James Hacker: Whiskey priest?
Annie Hacker: That's right.
James Hacker: Good. Let's open another bottle.
Annie Hacker: We haven't got one.
James Hacker: That's what you think.
[He opens one of the red boxes beside him and pulls out a full bottle of whiskey, much to Annie's bemusement]
James Hacker: Who said nothing good ever came out of Whitehall? You want one?
Annie Hacker: Yes, Minister.


"Yes, Prime Minister: A Real Partnership (#1.5)" (1986)
Annie Hacker: So who is in charge if you're not.
James Hacker: Nobody, really.