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: Yes Inspector, there are only two kinds of people in this world: Those who hear the music and those who don't. Jill Swinburne
: The cool and the uncool.
: Oh, hang spring-cleaning! Jill Swinburne
: I've never done any spring-cleaning. Being a male chauvinist, I've always had women to do those sort of things for me. Trevor Chaplin
: I don't mean that. Trevor Chaplin
: It's all part of my craggy northern working-class background. Jill Swinburne
: I'm talking about The Wind in the Willows. Trevor Chaplin
: Don't tell me - it's a book. Jill Swinburne
: Ratty and Mole are supposed to be spring-cleaning, but instead they say "Hang spring-cleaning" and they go off and mess about with boats in the river. Trevor Chaplin
: Is that what you fancy? Jill Swinburne
: Sort of, yes. Trevor Chaplin
: Well we could take to the hills. We'll go tomorrow. Jill Swinburne
: We're at school tomorrow. Trevor Chaplin
: No! We'll have sickness and diarrhoea. We'll telephone Mr Carter with some excuse to pass onto the Head that's so bizarre he's bound to believe it. Jill Swinburne
: A plague of locusts down the street. Trevor Chaplin
: A summons to The Palace. Jill Swinburne
: The house has been struck by a thunderbolt - which happens to be true. Trevor Chaplin
: We'll think of someting and say "Hang spring-cleaning".
[Jill walks over to Trevor and looks tenderly into his eyes
] Jill Swinburne
: Thank you. Trevor Chaplin
: Thank *you*. Jill Swinburne
: For what? Trevor Chaplin
: True love means never having to explain what you're saying "thank you" for.
[Trevor looks away, embarrassed
] Trevor Chaplin
: Have you ever noticed how spiders get trapped in your double-glazing? Jill Swinburne
: Have you ever noticed your amazing capacity to spoil everything? Trevor Chaplin
: Yes. It's famous over six counties. Jill Swinburne
: Cue romantic music.