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: This is my dad. Lila
: Oh, hi Dad. Doc
: Nice to meet you, Lila. Lila
: How do you know my name? Doc
: Okay, cat's out of the bag. My son found your panties on the sidewalk and we've been talking about you all week. Eddie, give her back her undies.
: Now listen to me and listen to me good! When your wife, on her honeymoon, asks you to cock her, you cock her good, God damn it!
: So, what's new Eddie? Anything exciting? Eddie Cantrow
: Ah, yeah, we just got those new Nike Sasquatch drivers in the store, so that's been kind of cool. Doc
: Let me rephrase the question. You been crushin' any pussy?
: Come on, kid, let's get out of here. Bitches be crazy, you know that.
: [about Lila
] She doesn't have a great sense of humor. Doc
: Are you out of your mind? Funny's a male gene, you idiot. Haven't you ever noticed whenever you see a really funny girl, she's a little mannish? Think about it. Lily Tomlin, Ellen DeGeneres, Rosie O'Donnell... Mac
: Oh, I got a thing for Ellen DeGeneres though. I do, I have to admit it. I think she's great, I think she's hot. Great ass. Check it out.
: Remember, this is the Bible Belt. These people have guns.