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Quotes for
Terry McCann (Character)
from "Minder" (1979)

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"Minder: Another Bride, Another Groom (#3.6)" (1982)
Terry McCann: On the bride's side or the groom's side?
Noisy: Get in smart-arse. One of your friends wants a word with you

Terry McCann: Bit of a hard bastard, are you?
Noisy: I've been known to go a bit

"Minder: Days of Fines and Closures (#7.2)" (1989)
[Arthur and Terry are looking at antique vases in an auctioneer's showroom]
Arthur Daley: [reading from catalogue] "Late 18th century. Estimated sale price seven hundred and fifty pounds."
Terry McCann: Seven hundred and fifty nicker? You can get them in washable plastic for three gallons of four-star!
Arthur Daley: You are unlikely to find washable plastic being offered for sale in the Clapham Auction Rooms.

[looking at a writing desk in the auction house]
Arthur Daley: Your modern entrepreneur is constantly gazing into the crystal ball of opportunity.
Terry McCann: And what do your crystal balls tell you about that then, eh? Is there gonna be a big rush on firewood?
Arthur Daley: No, Terry. That is... that is "an Indian ebony and porcupine quill workbox, nineteenth century". Described as "distressed".
Terry McCann: Distressed?
Arthur Daley: Yes, that is a term they use in the auctioneering world.
Terry McCann: Yeah, loosely translated as "knackered"!
Arthur Daley: As with most things in this life, Terry, it is in the eye of the beholder. One man's firewood is another man's porcupine wotsisname.

"Minder: You Need Hands (#3.2)" (1982)
Terry McCann: [Terry has gone back to the place where he got beaten up and catches up with the security man who was involved in the fight, Terry collars him as he's getting into his car] Excuse me, pal. No, no, don't get hasty! I just want to ask you about the motor, where'd you buy it?
Security Guard: Suttons on the Harrow Road
Terry McCann: Terrific. Now, piss off before I start remembering your mates

"Minder: Minder on the Orient Express (#6.7)" (1985)
Terry: Did you clock the geezer with the gold Hampsteads?

"Minder: Caught in the Act, Fact (#2.12)" (1980)
Terry McCann: [Terry does a favour for Des, delivering a motor to one of Des's customers. On the way home when he's listening to the six o'clock news on the car radio, he discovers that the car he delivered for Des was a ringer and was used in a robbery recently. First thing the next morning, Terry storms round to Des's lock-up garage to give Des a piece of his mind and to get some answers] Where were you last night and this morning?
Des: Just a minute, Terry. I don't think the young lady I was with, would care for me to discuss the details with you
Terry McCann: Don't give me any of that crap; you've been keeping out of my way
Des: Well, why would I do that? Your motor's running all right, innit?
Des: It's not my motor I'm worried about. That was a right diabolical stroke you pulled on me!
Des: A stroke? I don't know what you're talking about?
Terry McCann: [Terry raises his fist ready to thump Des] I'm going to lose my temper in a minute
Des: Just a minute Terry, there's no need for violence. I think I know what you're on about and I know you'll believe me when I tell you I had no idea that car was being used for a robbery
Terry McCann: It was a ringer and you bloody rung it!
Des: Terry, I swear to you, the plates on that car were the same as when I received it. First I knew about it was when I read it in the papers this morning
Terry McCann: [Terry knocks Des against a car in the lock-up]
Terry McCann: You're a liar!
Arthur Daley: [Arthur enters Des's lock-up just as Terry's about to knock the stuffing out of Des] Ah, there you are. I've been looking all over for you. 'Ere, why you holding Des like that?
Terry McCann: So, I can give him a good hiding!
Arthur Daley: Oh, yeah?
Des: Terry, come on now, there's no need to take that attitude
Terry McCann: You must think I'm a right mug standing for this; I mean my dabs will be all over that motor
Arthur Daley: Dabs? Dabs? What are you on about?
Terry McCann: This slippery little bastard conned me into delivering a motor and guess what: it was a ringer and it was used in a robbery yesterday
Arthur Daley: Not the mailbag thing?
Terry McCann: Exactly and my fingerprints will be all over it
Arthur Daley: Des, that wasn't very nice
Des: I don't want to be nice Arthur; I just want to be rich
Terry McCann: [Terry goes to lunge at Des, but Arthur holds him] You want to...?
Des: [Defensively] A joke, a joke, Terry! Arthur, tell him would I do a thing like that?
Arthur Daley: Probably

"Minder: Whose Wife Is It Anyway? (#2.2)" (1980)
Terry McCann: Arthur, if you think I'm spending time in the same room as that, you've got another think coming.
Arthur Daley: What's wrong, he's a perfectly nice young man.
Terry McCann: Leave it out, can't you see?
Arthur Daley: See? See what?
Terry McCann: Arthur, the geezer is a raving iron.
Arthur Daley: Don't be ridiculous, an iron?
Terry McCann: Do I have to scream it?
Arthur Daley: How'd you know he's a poofter? How can you tell?
Terry McCann: I can tell, believe me! Go on have another look. Don't make it too obvious, eh?
Arthur Daley: He can't be, can he?
Terry McCann: Why not, there are thousands of them about?
Arthur Daley: Yeah, I know, but...
Terry McCann: No wonder you called that mate of yours a "Man's man"!
Arthur Daley: Leave off, leave off. Alex a poofter? You must be joking, he's a happily married man.
Terry McCann: You told me yourself, he'd left his wife to go and live case with Jolly Jim.
Arthur Daley: In the same flat, Terry, in the same flat. I did not say they were case.

"Minder: Not a Bad Lad, Dad (#2.5)" (1980)
Disco Youth: [Terry's been lumbered with a kid whilst he's minding down the local club, Peter the kid gets up to walk across the room and two youths walk into him] Watch it, stupid!
Peter Sharp: It were you, who bumped into me!
Disco Youth: Oh, it were you who bumped into me? Cheeky little bastard.
Disco Youth: Who'd you reckon his tailor is?
Disco Youth: Sainsbury's, innit?
Peter Sharp: At least I don't wear earrings, only girls wear earrings.
Disco Youth: Mouthy little bleeder, I'll give you a slap.
Terry McCann: You slap anyone, try me! You all right, Pete?
Peter Sharp: Aye, Uncle Terry.
Disco Youth: What's this, big Uncle Terry coming to the rescue?
Terry McCann: Shut your mouth, sonny. Or I'll squeeze all your pimples, now go on, on your bike!
Disco Youth: I wonder, if he'll grow up to be as big a pillock as his uncle?
[Terry chins the first youth and then thumps the second youth, then he grabs both of them by the scruff of their neck and throws them out of the club. Peter witnesses this and when Terry comes back, he notices the look Peter gives him, Terry regrets being violent in front of him]

"Minder: Come in T-64, Your Time Is Ticking Away (#1.8)" (1979)
Terry McCann: Excuse me gents, can I have a word? You're Greg, aren't you?
Greg: That's right
Terry McCann: What's your name again...?
Billy: Who's asking?
Terry McCann: You met a friend of mine
Billy: Oh yeah, who's that?
Terry McCann: He's drives a mini-cab, he drives for Candy Cabs. You see, this morning two bottleless bastards gave him a good hiding. So I reckon I ought talk to you two about it?
Billy: I think you better be careful what you say, mate, as a kick in the cobblers often offends, know what I mean?

"Minder: The Car Lot Baggers (#4.5)" (1984)
Nathan Loveridge: You want to fight me? I've taken on ten like you.
Terry McCann: So one shouldn't worry you, then.

"Minder: An Officer and a Car Salesman (#7.0)" (1988)
[after they have had a major argument, Arthur finds Terry working as a gardener for Colonel Caplan]
Arthur Daley: Here, what size boots do you take?
Terry McCann: [looking puzzled] Eight.
Arthur Daley: Tread on that, will you.
[Arthur throws his cigar butt out of the window and drives off with gravel flying from his wheels]

"Minder: The Smaller They Are... (#1.3)" (1979)
[Terry and Arthur are staring lustfully at a young woman in the Winchester Club]
Terry McCann: Oi! She's young enough to be your daughter.
Arthur Daley: Well what's wrong with that? That's what keeps me young.
Terry McCann: I thought it was Phylosan and Grecian 2000!

"Minder: Bury My Half at Waltham Green (#1.2)" (1979)
[Terry is minding George Wilson who has just been released from prison. George wants Terry to give him the phone numbers of some prostitutes]
George Wilson: Four years is a long time.
Terry McCann: Eternity's longer, sunbeam. And that's where you'll end up if Charlie Mellors' old woman gets her hands on you.

"Minder: Sorry Pal, Wrong Number (#4.4)" (1984)
Arthur Daley: [a gang of kids have taken over the public telephone boxes at the train station, which Arthur's using as part of his race tipping scam with J.J. Mooney, they're refusing to budge. One of the kids cheeks Arthur and Arthur walks over to give the nipper a piece of his mind] Cheeky beggar, I'll have him!
Arthur Daley: [Another boy on a BMX bike flies by almost knocking Arthur over] Oi! Has he got a licence for that? Come on, Terry, get them out!
Terry McCann: How?
Arthur Daley: How? With violence that's how! Kick 'em up the arse