Venus Flytrap
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Quotes for
Venus Flytrap (Character)
from "WKRP in Cincinnati" (1978)

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"WKRP in Cincinnati: Who Is Gordon Sims? (#1.18)" (1979)
Venus Flytrap: All right my children. This is WKRP in Cincinnati with more music and Les Nessman

Major Hunter: [pointing to Carlson, who came along with Venus for moral support] Who's he?
Venus Flytrap: [straightfaced, bringing Carlson forward] My father.

[Venus objects to Les taking a photo of him for promotional purposes; Les tries again anyway]
Venus Flytrap: I'm not kidding, Les. You take that picture, I'll break your arm. AND the camera.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Turkeys Away (#1.7)" (1978)
Venus Flytrap: What do you suppose he's up to?
Dr. Johnny Fever: Carlson? I don't know. You should have been here for the big wig promotion.
Venus Flytrap: What happened?
Dr. Johnny Fever: Well, naturally, it didn't work, and we ended up with a warehouse full of wigs. Carlson, he couldn't figure out how to get rid of 'em until the Guatemalan earthquake.
Venus Flytrap: Say what?
Dr. Johnny Fever: Well, the Red Cross called out, you know, for blankets, clothes, anything. So Carlson, out of the goodness of his heart, shipped these destitute earthquake victims in Guatemala three thousand blonde stretch wigs. You know, I still have this picture in my mind of quake victims stumbling through the rubble - all looking like Dolly Parton.

[Les walks in, looking dazed]
Venus Flytrap: Les! Are you okay?
Les Nessman: I don't know. A man and his two children tried to kill me. After the turkeys hit the pavement, the crowd kind of scattered but, some of them tried to attack *me*! I had to jam myself into a phone booth! Then Mr. Carlson had the helicopter land in the middle of the parking lot. I guess he thought he could save the day by turning the rest of the turkeys loose. It gets pretty strange after that.
Venus Flytrap: [to Andy] *How* is it strange?
Andy Travis: Yeah, right. Les, c'mon now, tell us the rest.
Les Nessman: [freaked out] I really don't know how to describe it. It was like the turkeys mounted a counter-attack! It was almost as if they were... organized!
[Mr. Carlson comes out of his office]
Arthur Carlson: As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Young Master Carlson (#1.20)" (1979)
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: [Mr. Carlson has just called his son to his office after talking back to Venus] Well, he knows that's he's not supposed to be picking on little white kids!
Venus Flytrap: [lunging at Herb] How about BIG white kids?

Andy Travis: This is Venus Flytrap.
Arthur Carlson Jr.: You're black!
Venus Flytrap: [feigning shock and fear] I am? Oh, no!
Arthur Carlson Jr.: We didn't have any blacks at Prussian Valley!
Venus Flytrap: [calling after Carlson and his son as they walk away] That's 'cause there ain't no blacks DUMB enough to go to a place called Prussian Valley!
[turns to Johnny Fever]
Venus Flytrap: Yo man, how come you didn't tell me I was black?


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Fish Story (#1.21)" (1979)
Quentin Stone: Excuse me a minute. Are you on the air here?
Venus Flytrap: On the air? I am the air! I'm the wind!

Officer Plyler: You keep drinking.
Dr. Johnny Fever: Okay, but I'mm not gonna get drunk.
Officer Plyler: Oh, yes, you are too. You'll see.
Venus Flytrap: He's from Mars, officer. Whiskey does not affect alien beings.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Commercial Break (#1.17)" (1979)
Venus Flytrap: Hey man! How's that gonna sound?
[Cups hand over ear on goes into announcer voice]
Venus Flytrap: We'll be right back to the music right after these important words about Death!

Andy Travis: OK, let me ask you this. Can't we do a cheap-o commercial? I mean, hire professional musicans, but maybe, sing the jingle ourselves?
Venus Flytrap: Can anyone around here sing?
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Any jerk can sing. These are the copy points that you gotta work in to it. OK, now: A: All weather floral arrangements.
Venus Flytrap: What does that mean?
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: That's a plastic flowers.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: B: Maintenance-free artificial turf.
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: Plastic Grass.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: C: They accept all major credit cards.
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: That would be your plastic money.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Plus, six convenient locations, open weekends, all night hot line, group discount rates and free parking.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: An Explosive Affair: Part 2 (#4.2)" (1981)
Venus Flytrap: [visibly shaken] The... the bomb was at the transmitter!
[hushed, running to bullpen]
Venus Flytrap: I was almost killed... at the transmitter...

Les Nessman: [after the bomb has destroyed the transmitter] Johnny, Venus, you're alive?
Dr. Johnny Fever: The newsman's eye, you just can't fool it.
Les Nessman: [Sadly] That's wonderful?
Venus Flytrap: Gee, thanks Les.
Les Nessman: Of course, I'll have to update my story.
Venus Flytrap: Story!
Les Nessman: How'd you like it Andy?
Andy Travis: How'd I like what Les?
Les Nessman: My 4 o'clock news report, didn't you listen?
Andy Travis: Les, the transmitter blew up.
Les Nessman: Of course, that was my lead.
Dr. Johnny Fever: Wait a minute, you lead off your newscast by telling them that we were off the air?
Les Nessman: I can include that in my update.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Hoodlum Rock (#1.4)" (1978)
Sir Nigel Weatherbee: Actually, we're not a punk rock group.
Blood: No. Punk rock is passe. We play hoodlum rock. It's several cuts below punk rock.
Venus Flytrap: What's the difference?
Blood: Well first of all, punk rock groups dress deplorably. And secondly, they don't usually physically attack their audiences.
Venus Flytrap: And you dudes do?
Sir Nigel Weatherbee: Come to the show and find out.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: An Explosive Affair: Part 1 (#4.1)" (1981)
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: [Andy has instructed Venus and Johnny to take some albums to the transmitter and go on the air from there] Well, go get those albums!
Venus Flytrap: Need I remind you that the cops are gonna search every inch of this place? Including your desk drawer?
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: [panicked, running to the bullpen] I'll get those albums!


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Preacher (#1.22)" (1979)
Andy Travis: Why do they call him "Little Ed"?
Venus Flytrap: Because his wife is Big Ed!


"WKRP in Cincinnati: For Love or Money: Part 2 (#2.2)" (1979)
Venus Flytrap: [Bailey is worried because Johnny hasn't shown up] Easy!
Bailey Quarters: I am easy!
Venus Flytrap: [caught off guard] Really?


"WKRP in Cincinnati: In Concert (#2.19)" (1980)
Venus Flytrap: [Carlson is talking with Venus in the control room the night after the tragedy, as he is on his way to the memorial service] Are we going to go back to playing supermarket music?
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: [softly] No, Venus. We're a rock and roll station, and that's where we're going to stay.
[turns to leave]
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Good night, Venus.
Venus Flytrap: Good night.
[final lines... cut to epilogue denoting tragedy over camera shot of window overlooking outside downtown area]


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Filthy Pictures: Part 2 (#2.22)" (1980)
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: [a recap from the previous episodes which plays at the beginning of this one] This photographer of Herb's choosing somehow got nude photos of our Jennifer.
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: How nude is she?
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Oh, she's uh, nude nude.
Venus Flytrap: Isn't that against the law?
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Apparently not. The leases were signed, the Attorney says that we can fight it, but the pictures are probably gonna get published no matter what happens.
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: I suggest we Watergate.
Venus Flytrap: Are you nuts? Breaking and entering is a felony!
Andy Travis: We get caught, we could go to jail.
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: Yeah, and that's the part of the plan that I don't like.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Jennifer's Home for Christmas (#2.11)" (1979)
Venus Flytrap: [Venus is dressed as a 'soulful' Santa... walking through the bullpen, singing] I'm dreaming... of a wh... wh... wh... JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE BELLS, JINGLE ALL THE WAY!


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Never Leave Me, Lucille (#1.15)" (1979)
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: Hi guys!
Andy Travis: Oh, what's your sign?
Venus Flytrap: You live around here, mama?
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: Want a little action, sugar?
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: Well, Les, don't you have an opening line?
Les Nessman: [Looks uneasy, then sits down an picks up a drink] Hi, I'm extremely wealthy.
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: Ooh.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Up and Down the Dial (#4.22)" (1982)
Andy Travis: [Andy and Venus have just showed up at Mama Carlson's house, and both are drunk. Venus is holding Andy up] Mrs. Carlson... I'm tired of your crud!
Venus Flytrap: Yeah!
[falls to floor]
Andy Travis: And I've got three things I want to say to you... number two...
[falls to floor]


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Love Returns (#1.8)" (1978)
Bailey Quarters: [to Johnny, about the 'win a date with a DJ' contest] Look at all this mail, you can't back out now! Venus, you talk to him.
Venus Flytrap: Sure. Hey, Johnny man, it's no big deal. See, all you have to do is pick out a lady, and the station picks up the tab for the whole night!
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: Forget it!
Venus Flytrap: C'mon man, I've done it before and I've always come out with a fox!
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: Yeah, I've done it before too. I always wind up with a warthog!
Venus Flytrap: You just got to know how to pick 'em, brother! Lemme see some of those cards, Bailey. Now, listen to this. "I'd like a date with a DJ because my mother always said I was clever and a good conversationalist." Not good.
Bailey Quarters: No wait a minute...
Venus Flytrap: [tossing the card] Trust me.
[reads another]
Venus Flytrap: "I've always wanted to find out what's behind that sexy voice I hear every night." Heh heh. This is what we'll call the "A" pile. Now. "I don't know if it's against the law in Ohio, but what I'd really like to do is..."
[pause]
Venus Flytrap: No, that's the "B" pile. *This* is the "A" pile.
[tucks the card into his jacket]