Herb Tarlek
Quicklinks
Top Links
main detailsbiographyby votesphoto galleryquotes
Filmographies
by yearby typeby ratingsby votesby TV seriesby genreby keyword
Biographical
biography
Did You Know?
photo galleryquotes

Quotes for
Herb Tarlek (Character)
from "WKRP in Cincinnati" (1978)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"WKRP in Cincinnati: Young Master Carlson (#1.20)" (1979)
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: [Mr. Carlson has just called his son to his office after talking back to Venus] Well, he knows that's he's not supposed to be picking on little white kids!
Venus Flytrap: [lunging at Herb] How about BIG white kids?

Arthur Carlson Jr.: [less pays Arthur Carlson Jr. to learn what Mrs. Carlson says about him] She says that you're obtuse.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: [reading dictionary] Adultry... Admire...
Les Nessman: Let me see that.
[takes dictionary away from Herb]
Les Nessman: Obtuse...
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: [snatching dictionary back from Less] Addle-minded!
Les Nessman: [snatching back the dictionary] Obtuse!
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: [Herb attempts to snatch dictionary, but Less slams Herb's hand in the book] Addle-ow!
Bailey Quarters: [entering] Hi, guys.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Oh, hi, Baily. Met Carlson's son?
Bailey Quarters: Yes. I've had the pleasure.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Well, he's guite a kid. Let me tell you.
[under breath to Arthur Carlson Jr]
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Tell your dad I said that.
Les Nessman: [excited] Obtuse! According to Websters, exceeding ninety degrees but less than one-hundred eighty degrees; lacking sharpness or quickness of sensibility; rounded at the free end; dull.
[looking offended]
Les Nessman: That's an insult!
Bailey Quarters: Less, take it easy.
Les Nessman: Take it easy!
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Yeah. Just calm down, okay?
Les Nessman: Don't tell me to calm down. I just paid five dollars to find out I'm rounded at the free end!
Bailey Quarters: Cool off, Less.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: He's just mad because he's not addle-minded.
Les Nessman: I am too.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: No. You're not.
Les Nessman: [Herb and Less start hitting each other] Yes. I am.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: No. You're not.
Les Nessman: Yes. I am!
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: You're not!
Bailey Quarters: You guys! You are both addle-minded!
Les Nessman: Thank you, Baily.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Bad Risk (#2.4)" (1979)
Andy Travis: Listen, Herb, does this big-shot 60 Minutes Insurance Company pay off its claims?
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Sure, ever since Mike got 'em the second time.
[Carlson tosses his insurance forms back to Herb, unfinished]

Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: You know what we call problems in sales? We call them opportunities.
J. Garrett Hopkins: Les, your friend is a twit.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: To Err Is Human (#4.21)" (1982)
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Well Herb, what do you think? What we have here is a commercial for Soul Suds shampoo, a shampoo which is exclusively marketed to the hip black customer. Am I correct?
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Yes, sir.
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Then why are we looking at the picture of this really idiotic-looking white man?


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Rumors (#4.4)" (1981)
Les Nessman: Well I'm shocked.
Bailey Quarters: I'm amazed.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: I'm stunned.
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Well, I guess everything's normal here.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Turkeys Away (#1.7)" (1978)
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: You want me, Mr. Carlson?
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Oh, yeah. Come in, Jennifer. Have a seat.
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: No, thank you.
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Well all right. At this particular point in time, I would like to dictate a press release.
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: I don't take dictation.
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: What? Alright, I guess I can do this thing myself. It's probably going to be a long meeting though; so why don't you get coffee for all the guys here?
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: I don't get coffee, Mr. Carlson. We agreed.
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Oh, yeah.
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: You have to draw the line somewhere.
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: You got that right.
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: Will there be anything else I can do?
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: No. I think that about does it.
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: Thank you.
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: Oh, no. Thank you.
Les Nessman: How does she get away with that?
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Are you kidding?


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Hoodlum Rock (#1.4)" (1978)
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Hey Big Guy, have you ever heard a Scum record?
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: This may amaze you, Herb, but no.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Yeah well, I wrote down the lyrics to one called "Love is Murder", you wanna hear it?
Arthur 'Big Guy' Carlson: What choices do I have?
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Yeah.
[reads]
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: "Love is murder, murder is love, I'm a rock'n'roll hoodlum with a black leather glove. Knock me down, baby, step on my face, I'm a fool for ya baby, let's blow up this place." Kinda catchy, huh?


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Commercial Break (#1.17)" (1979)
Andy Travis: OK, let me ask you this. Can't we do a cheap-o commercial? I mean, hire professional musicans, but maybe, sing the jingle ourselves?
Venus Flytrap: Can anyone around here sing?
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Any jerk can sing. These are the copy points that you gotta work in to it. OK, now: A: All weather floral arrangements.
Venus Flytrap: What does that mean?
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: That's a plastic flowers.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: B: Maintenance-free artificial turf.
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: Plastic Grass.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: C: They accept all major credit cards.
Johnny 'Dr. Fever' Caravella: That would be your plastic money.
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: Plus, six convenient locations, open weekends, all night hot line, group discount rates and free parking.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: A Date with Jennifer (#1.10)" (1979)
Herbert 'Herb' Tarlek: [Showing Les how to ask Jennifer for a date] This is how you do it: What do you say, beautiful, you and me getting it together tonight. You only go around once in life, so why not grab a little gusto?
Jennifer Elizabeth Marlowe: I don't like "little" gustos, Herb.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: An Explosive Affair: Part 2 (#4.2)" (1981)
Jennifer Marlowe: [answering phone] WKRP.
[pause]
Jennifer Marlowe: Will you hold on please, the man you want to speak with is right next to me.
[turns to Andy]
Jennifer Marlowe: Andy, he says he's from Black Monday.
Andy Travis: [tense, hushed... Jennifer covers mouthpiece] Get on another phone and call the police. Keep them on the line.
[takes receiver]
Andy Travis: Hello, this is Andy Travis.
[pause]
Andy Travis: Well, we all have our problems, may I tell you mine?
[pause]
Andy Travis: I have two DJ's out at the transmitter, and I can't reach them.
[pause]
Andy Travis: Well, I guess it doesn't matter that you didn't mean to hurt anybody now, does it?
[pause]
Andy Travis: All right, all right, just slow down.
[pause]
Andy Travis: You wanna tell me where you put the bomb?
[pause]
Andy Travis: You wanna tell me why you did that?
[covers mouthpiece and turns to Herb, hushed]
Andy Travis: Go and tell Jennifer that the bomb is inside a tool box.
Herb Tarlek: Tool box?
[Andy waves him away, Herb runs off]
Andy Travis: [returns to caller] No, no, no, I'm listening.
[pause]
Andy Travis: We're all guilty
[pause]
Andy Travis: , I understand.


"WKRP in Cincinnati: Jennifer and the Will (#4.8)" (1981)
Les Nessman: What is an executrix?
Herb Tarlek: It's something to do with high-heels and a whole lotta leather. Something like that.