Reuben Kincaid
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Quotes for
Reuben Kincaid (Character)
from "The Partridge Family" (1970)

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"The Partridge Family: Swiss Family Partridge (#3.9)" (1972)
Reuben Kincaid: If you're big enough to get away with it, then it's right. That's international law.

Reuben Kincaid: Well, it's okay to be the strong silent type, but I am going to have to learn to keep quiet about it.

Reuben Kincaid: I am not thrilled with Captain Thunder. I'm not crazy about guitars.
[to Danny]
Reuben Kincaid: But if you fire one more round of knuckles over my head, I'm going to stuff you up the chimney.

Laurie Partridge: Well, Chris and Tracy have to eat, so I'll volunteer some of my food.
Keith Douglas Partridge: Yeah, I will too.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I will too.
Danny Partridge: I was going to give them some of my biscuit, but I don't have it anymore.
Reuben Kincaid: [about to take a bite of the biscuit that he took from Danny] Well, how important are they to the act?


"The Partridge Family: What? and Get Out of Show Business? (#1.1)" (1970)
Reuben Kincaid: You members of some flaky religious group?
Danny: No, sir, I'm here to represent the Partridges.
Reuben Kincaid: The *birds*?
Danny: The family!

Reuben Kincaid: [Asking about Danny] How old is he?
Tracy Partridge: [Answers with, chocolate ice cream smeered around her mouth] Ten. Why?
Reuben Kincaid: I keep getting this funny feeling that I'm dealing with a 40-year-old midget.
[Tracy, smiled and puts a spoonful of ice cream, into Reuben's mouth]


"The Partridge Family: Love at First Slight (#1.6)" (1970)
Reuben Kincaid: [after learning a bunch of amorous girls have chased a visibly distressed Keith home from school] You do *like* girls, don't you?
Keith: Yeah, but one at a time. Not in groups!

Tracy Partridge: ...I like you, Mr. Kincaid.
Reuben Kincaid: Thanks.
Danny: She hasn't developed a lot of taste yet.


"The Partridge Family: Who Is Max Ledbetter and Why Is He Saying All Those Terrible Things? (#2.24)" (1972)
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: ...Danny wanted an advance on his allowance.
Reuben Kincaid: What's so strange about that?
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: A six-year advance?


"The Partridge Family: The Sound of Money (#1.2)" (1970)
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I've decided to join you kids. We're going to fight Whiplash Willie.
Danny Partridge: Yeah! We're gonna fight! We're gonna win!
Reuben Kincaid: Strange. That's exactly what General Custer said.


"The Partridge Family: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Partridge (#2.7)" (1971)
Reuben Kincaid: Quick, give me your middle name fast.
Keith: "Douglas", satisfied?
Reuben Kincaid: I don't know. I didn't know your middle name.


"The Partridge Family: Whatever Happened to Keith Partridge? (#3.11)" (1972)
Keith Douglas Partridge: [Rehearsing lines from the script] Momma, give me one good reason why I shouldn't get him.
Danny Partridge: Because he's got a bigga, bigga gun!
Reuben Kincaid: W-w-wait a minute! Hold it! Where's that line in the script?
Danny Partridge: It's not in the script. I was improvising.
Reuben Kincaid: You, were improvising. If I improvised what I'm thinking, I'd get arrested for child beating.


"The Partridge Family: Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex... But Couldn't Pronounce (#3.20)" (1973)
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Reuben, they didn't teach sex education when you went to high school."
Reuben Kincaid: Yeah, I know. But I flunked it anyway.


"The Partridge Family: Miss Partridge, Teacher (#4.18)" (1974)
Laurie Partridge: You should never end a sentence with a preposition.
Reuben Kincaid: This isn't a preposition; it's a *proposition*


"The Partridge Family: I Can Get It for You Retail (#2.11)" (1971)
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Hi Reuben. Somebody stole Keith's hair.
Laurie Partridge: You don't have any questions?
Reuben Kincaid: I have a number of questions, I'm deciding which one to ask first.


"The Partridge Family: See Here, Private Partridge (#1.4)" (1970)
Reuben Kincaid: Danny Partridge in the Army? What a lovely thought.


"The Partridge Family: To Play or Not to Play? (#1.19)" (1971)
Reuben Kincaid: Laurie! You're making me a nervous wreck!
Keith: Reuben, you've always been a nervous wreck.


"The Partridge Family: Promise Her Anything, But Give Her a Punch (#2.21)" (1972)
Reuben Kincaid: ...Danny, if there's anything you want to know about handling women, you want to get it from a real pro.
Danny: Yeah, but I already asked Keith. He was no help.
Reuben Kincaid: I was talking about myself.
Danny: Mr. Kincaid, I know you're trying to cheer me up by making me laugh. Bless you.