Laurie Partridge
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Quotes for
Laurie Partridge (Character)
from "The Partridge Family" (1970)

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"The Partridge Family: What? and Get Out of Show Business? (#1.1)" (1970)
Laurie Partridge: [rehearsing in the garage during the pilot episode, Laurie is looking skeptically at her sheet music] Y'know, I've been thinking about these lyrics.
Keith: Yeah, what about them?
Laurie Partridge: Well, do you think they're really "relevant"?
Keith: Relevant? One lousy sit-in and suddenly she's Joan Baez.

Shirley Renfrew Partridge: [the Family is backstage, about to make their debut in Las Vegas. Shirley is having stage fright]
[Through clenched teeth]
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I'm having trouble moving my mouth.
Danny: Don't worry about it, it's perfectly normal.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: How can I sing if I can't move my mouth?
Keith: Just fake it, ok?
[Shirley suddenly bends over and clutches her knees]
Keith: Why are you feeling your knees?
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I think they're locked.
Danny: Good. That'll stop you from falling if you pass out.
Laurie Partridge: Don't worry Mom, we'll all be here to help you.
Christopher "Chris" Partridge #1: Sure, you don't have to worry about a thing!
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Aren't you kids nervous at all?
Laurie Partridge: No.
Danny: Why should we be nervous? We're terrific!
Club Manager: All right, places everyone. We're ready to go!
Keith: [as they quickly take their places] You're gonna be wonderful, honest, Mom.
Laurie Partridge: This is the big time. You'll be great, you'll be fantastic, nothing to worry about.
Danny: Relax, Mom, but just remember our whole future depends on these next few minutes.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: [groans] Ohhhhhhhhh...

Shirley Renfrew Partridge: [the Family is backstage, about to make their debut in Las Vegas. Shirley is having stage fright. Through clenched teeth:] I'm having trouble moving my mouth.
Danny: Don't worry about it, it's perfectly normal.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: How can I sing if I can't move my mouth?
Keith: Just fake it, ok?
Keith: [Shirley suddenly bends over and clutches her knees] Why are you feeling your knees?
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I think they're locked.
Danny: Good. That'll stop you from falling if you pass out.
Laurie Partridge: Don't worry Mom, we'll all be here to help you.
Christopher "Chris" Partridge #1: Sure, you don't have to worry about a thing!
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Aren't you kids nervous at all?
Laurie Partridge: No.
Danny: Why should we be nervous? We're terrific!
Club Manager: All right, places everyone. We're ready to go!
Keith: [as they quickly take their places] You're gonna be wonderful, honest, Mom.
Laurie Partridge: This is the big time. You'll be great, you'll be fantastic, nothing to worry about.
Danny: Relax, Mom, but just remember our whole future depends on these next few minutes.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: [groans] Ohhhhhhhhh...


"The Partridge Family: Waiting for Bolero (#2.17)" (1972)
Laurie Partridge: Bolero! On your first date?
Keith: I happen to like Bolero.
Danny: What's Bolero?
Laurie Partridge: You know about the birds and the bees, don't you?
Danny: Of course!
Laurie Partridge: Well, they got the idea from listening to Bolero.

Laurie Partridge: ...When are you going to learn to respect Keith's privacy?
Danny: As soon as he gets a window shade.


"The Partridge Family: The Partridge Papers (#2.22)" (1972)
Laurie Partridge: I broke into the same room twice?

Danny: In case you haven't heard, there are two words that are never used in the Partridge Family vocabulary: brotherly love.
Laurie Partridge: However, there are two words more commonly used.
Danny: Yes?
Keith: Get even.


"The Partridge Family: Miss Partridge, Teacher (#4.18)" (1974)
Laurie Partridge: I have got the greatest news!
Keith: You're taking your own apartment?

Laurie Partridge: You should never end a sentence with a preposition.
Reuben Kincaid: This isn't a preposition; it's a *proposition*


"The Partridge Family: I Can Get It for You Retail (#2.11)" (1971)
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Hi Reuben. Somebody stole Keith's hair.
Laurie Partridge: You don't have any questions?
Reuben Kincaid: I have a number of questions, I'm deciding which one to ask first.

Keith: Has anybody got any ideas about what they're going to do for Mom's birthday?
Laurie Partridge: I thought about offering to do all the cooking for a month. How about you?
Keith: I'll buy the family a stomach pump.


"The Partridge Family: The Undergraduate (#2.4)" (1971)
Danny: I wonder if your going to college is such a good idea.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I don't think a little psychology course is going to take up that much time.
Danny: Well, campuses are a hotbed of radicals. I'm afraid you're going to get mixed up in some kind of protest march.
Laurie Partridge: I thought you had to be over 30 to be that establishment.
Keith: Maybe it's inches instead of years.


The New Partridge Family (2005) (TV)
Laurie Partridge: [after hitting Ruben with the bus] Oh my god! Did I just hit him? He was supposed to indicate, right?


"The Partridge Family: This Male Chauvinist Piggy Went to Market (#3.1)" (1972)
Laurie Partridge: It hasn't been easy for me either, you know. Do you know what they're calling me at school? Flip Wilson.
Keith: Do you know what they're calling me? Geraldine.


"The Partridge Family: When Mother Gets Married (#1.5)" (1970)
Laurie Partridge: I think it's nice Mom having a little romance in her life. Don't you?
Keith Douglas Partridge: Don't you think you're blowing this up a little out of proportion? I mean, after all, they only met a few hours ago.
Laurie Partridge: Yeah, well, Romeo and Juliet only knew each other one day.
Keith Douglas Partridge: And look what happened to them.


"The Partridge Family: Why Did the Music Stop? (#1.17)" (1971)
Laurie Partridge: Mom, it's him! It's Doctor Groovy!


"The Partridge Family: Swiss Family Partridge (#3.9)" (1972)
Laurie Partridge: Well, Chris and Tracy have to eat, so I'll volunteer some of my food.
Keith Douglas Partridge: Yeah, I will too.
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: I will too.
Danny Partridge: I was going to give them some of my biscuit, but I don't have it anymore.
Reuben Kincaid: [about to take a bite of the biscuit that he took from Danny] Well, how important are they to the act?


"The Partridge Family: Keith and Lauriebelle (#4.19)" (1974)
Laurie Partridge: Where'd you get that awful shaving lotion?
Keith: You gave it to me for Christmas.


"The Partridge Family: Promise Her Anything, But Give Her a Punch (#2.21)" (1972)
Keith: Hi. Why does everybody look so glum?
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Keith. I'm afraid you have a big problem.
Keith: Oh, I do?
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: Mm hmm. Little Gloria Hickey's in love with you.
Keith: Is this a put-on?
Laurie Partridge: Oh, afraid not, brother.
Laurie Partridge: She's gonna ask you to the sixth grade dance.
Keith: Poor Danny, does he know?
Shirley Renfrew Partridge: No, and I don't want him to know. It would break his heart.
Keith: What am I gonna do, I...
Danny: Laurie, Mom, Mr. Kincaid. To Keith: HOME WRECKER!
[He kicks him in the shin and runs]
Keith: Ow! I think he knows!