Wile E. Coyote
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Quotes for
Wile E. Coyote (Character)
from Operation: Rabbit (1952)

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Operation: Rabbit (1952)
[last lines]
Wile E. Coyote: Allow me to introduce myself, my name is Mud.
[faints]
Bugs Bunny: And remember, Mud spelled backwoids is Dum.

Wile E. Coyote: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Wile E. Coyote, genius. I am not selling anything nor am I working my way through college.
Bugs Bunny: I...
Wile E. Coyote: So let's get down to cases: you are a rabbit, and I am going to eat you for supper.
[warningly]
Wile E. Coyote: Now, don't try to get away! I am more muscular, more cunning, faster, and larger than you are, and I am a genius. Why you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarten.
[Bugs yawns]
Wile E. Coyote: So I'll give you the customary two minutes to say your prayers.
Bugs Bunny: I'm sorry, Mac, the lady of the house ain't home. And besides, we mailed you people a check last week.
[shuts the door then descends into his home as Wile E. folds up the door and leaves]
Wile E. Coyote: Why do they always want to do it the hard way?

Bugs Bunny: I have come to give myself up on account of I cannot fight no more against such genius.
Wile E. Coyote: A wise decision, my friend. You have just saved yourself from a fate worse than the frying pan.
Bugs Bunny: I have only one last request. I have made out my last will and testament, but I need a witness to make it official. Would you sign it with this fountain pen?
[hands Wile E. the will and a lit dynamite stick for a pen]
Wile E. Coyote: Certainly, my boy. Delighted to be of service. Very amateurish atempt on my person.
[Wile E. extinguishes fuse, throws stick up in the air repeatedly - not noticing the lit fuse on the other end]
Wile E. Coyote: Being a genius certainly has its advantages.
[notices lit fuse, dynamite explodes]

Wile E. Coyote: Wile E. Coyote, Supergenius. I like the way it rolls out. Wile E. Coyote, Supergenius.

Bugs Bunny: [Wile E. is setting up a pressure cooker on the entrance to Bugs' burrow] Eh, what's cooking, Doc?
Wile E. Coyote: Rabbit stew. Gad, I'm such a genius!
Bugs Bunny: Mmm, smells mighty good. But there's only one little thing wrong with it.
Wile E. Coyote: There is? What?
Bugs Bunny: No rabbit.
[Wile E. opens the pressure cooker and looks inside; Bugs kicks him inside, closes the cooker, grabs a club, and heads for the back door]
Bugs Bunny: [singing] I'm looking over, a three-leaf clover, that I overlooked bethree...
[Inside, he hits Wile E. over the head]
Wile E. Coyote: Well, back to the old drawing board.

Wile E. Coyote: Brilliance. That's all I can say. Sheer, unadulterated brilliance!

Wile E. Coyote: [after sending an exploding female rabbit decoy, encounters a female coyote decoy at his door] Ah, my darling. How beautiful you are. How devastating! How lucky! Little did you dream that one day you would marry a genius.
Bugs Bunny: Fight fire with fire, I always say.
[Detonates the decoy]
Wile E. Coyote: [dazed] Here comes the bride, all dressed in...
[Sees the rabbit decoy, about to explode]
Wile E. Coyote: Oh, no!
[Runs to toss it out the window, but it explodes before he can]


The Bugs Bunny Mystery Special (1980) (TV)
Wile E. Coyote: Ah, my darling, how beautiful you are. How devastating! How lucky! Little did you dream that one day you would marry a genius.

Wile E. Coyote: Brilliance. That's all I can say. Sheer, unadulterated brilliance!

Wile E. Coyote: You are a rabbit, and I'm going to eat you for supper. Now, don't try to get away! I am more muscular, more cunning, faster, and larger than you are, and I'm a genius. Why, you could hardly pass the entrance examinations to kindergarten. So, I'll give you the customary 2 minutes to say your prayers.

Wile E. Coyote: Why do they always want to do it the hard way?

Wile E. Coyote: Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Mud!
[faints]
Bugs Bunny: And remember: mud spelled backwards is 'dum'!


"Cavalcade of Cartoon Comedy: Die, Sweet Roadrunner, Die (#2.1)" (2010)
Road Runner: Meep, meep!
[Road Runner comes running down the road. Wile E. Coyote lifts a giant rock with a rope. The rope breaks and the rock falls. Road Runner runs past Wile E., sticks his tongue out at him, and then is crushed and killed by the rock]
Wile E. Coyote: Holy crap! I did it! He's under there! I got him. I freakin got him!

[Wile E. Coyote is eating the Road Runner at a dinner table with his friend who is also a coyote]
Wile E. Coyote: Oh, this is delicious! I mean it's like when you work for your meal, when you like really work for it, it tastes so much better, you know.
Coyote: So, what are you going to do now?
Wile E. Coyote: Oh. I never really thought about it. I've been chasing this damn bird for twenty years, and I'm not really trained for anything else. I guess I kind of let my life get away from me.
Coyote: Well, I'm sure something will turn up.

[Wile E. Coyote is serving as a waiter at a restaurant]
Wile E. Coyote: Okay, that's a pastrami on rye, pasta salad, two Diet Cokes...
Customer: No, no, no, it was one Coke and one Diet Coke.
Wile E. Coyote: Oh God, I'm sorry.
Customer: We've been waiting for like an hour.
Wile E. Coyote: I know. I'm sorry.
Customer: What the hell kind of place is this?
Wile E. Coyote: [Wile E. gets pissed off and throws the tray of food and drinks on the ground while shouting] I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY, DAMMIT, I'M SORRY! ALRIGHT! You see that my *bleep* identity is... I can't think straight! Just get off my back, cause you don't know what it's like!
Boss: Wile E., your fired!


"Tiny Toon Adventures: Psychic Fun-omenon Day (#1.33)" (1990)
Wile E. Coyote: [after falling to the ground] Don't I get anything flashed in front of my eyes?

[Calamity Coyote is crying while in the back of a moving van, waving goodbye to his old home]
Wile E. Coyote: [narrating] Ah yes. And then came another big day. Your father had taken a new job in the city & you were moving away. You wouldn't see any roadrunners in the city.
[Another moving van pulls next to the van Calamity is in, and Little Beeper is in the other van]
Little Beeper: Beep, beep!
Wile E. Coyote: Or would you?

[Calamity Coyote and Wile E. Coyote are falling from a giant skyscraper. Wile E. is sitting on a cloud while falling]
Wile E. Coyote: It looks like the end doesn't it? Your probably waiting for your life to flash before your eyes. Well we got a little surprise for you. Calamity Coyote, this was your life.
[Calamity gulps]
Wile E. Coyote: I'm your host Wile E. Coyote, Supergenius. Yes Calamity, in just a few moments you will be street pizza. But before you cash in your chips, lets review your life and see where you went astray, shall we?


Compressed Hare (1961)
Bugs Bunny: [as Wile E. Coyote is tying him to a spit] I'm your new neighbor from down the street. I brung you those carrots you asked for. Personally, I don't think a stew is a stew without carrots.
[Sniffs]
Bugs Bunny: Mmm, smells good. What kind of stew is it?
[Dips his ear in the pot and tastes it]
Bugs Bunny: Mmm-mmm. Rabbit ear stew. Very good too. Er, I'd love to stay for lunch, but it appears I'm all tied up this morning.
Wile E. Coyote: Oh, you're going to stay for lunch. You are lunch. Now, what kind of wine goes best with wild game? You are game, aren't you?
Bugs Bunny: Oh, er, I'm game, all right.
[Hops on floor, dislodging a cork from one of the wine bottles into Wile E.'s eye]
Wile E. Coyote: Now look here, me bucko!
[Bugs hops again and another cork pops; Wile E. ducks to avoid the cork, but it ricochets accross the room and opens an ironing board, which hits Wile E. on the head; Bugs hops back home]

Wile E. Coyote: [Carrying a wheelbarrow full of quick-drying cement] Special delivery!
Bugs Bunny: Send it right down!
Wile E. Coyote: All right!
[Throws cement down Bugs' hole, then tiptoes away]
Wile E. Coyote: What a perfect way to "cement" a friendship.
[Suddenly a pillar of cement pops up from the ground; Wile E. bumps into it and it falls on top of him]
Bugs Bunny: [Pops out of hole where cement came from] Well, now he's got "concrete" evidence that I'm a good neighbor.


"Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Production: Aromatherapist (#1.36)" (2015)
[after Bugs and Wile E. Coyote get sprayed by a skunk]
Wile E. Coyote: [shedding tears] My eyes! My eyes!

Wile E. Coyote: [inside his machine] It's working! You can turn it off now!
Bugs Bunny: Uh, there is no "off" button.
Wile E. Coyote: [panicked] WHAT?


Zoom at the Top (1962)
[first lines]
Coyote: Ouch.

[last lines]
Coyote: Ouch.


To Hare Is Human (1956)
[first lines]
Bugs Bunny: [Wile E. has trapped him in a bag] Eh, whatcha got in the bag, Doc?
Wile E. Coyote: Oh, I say. I'm terribly sorry. One mustn't be rude, even to one's breakfast.
Bugs Bunny: Breakfast?
Wile E. Coyote: Permit me to introduce myself. My name is Coyote. Wile E. Coyote, genius.
Bugs Bunny: Have brain, eh? Hey, that must be very handy at times.
Wile E. Coyote: Why, yes, it has its advantages. For example, you asked me just now what I had in the bag, and I was supposed to say, "A rabbit," to which you would reply, "What are you going to do with him?" Then I was supposed to say something stupid, which would enable you to get very clever and so on and so on and on. When by this time we both know very well that there is nothing left in the bag.
Bugs Bunny: [already out of the bag] There isn't? I don't like to disagree with no genius, Doc, but there... but there is.
Wile E. Coyote: [chuckles] Well...
[looks in the bag; something inside explodes and singes his face]

Wile E. Coyote: [referring to Bugs, after suffering one too many dynamite explosions] Poor chap. He had his chance. Now he must take the consequences.


"Wabbit: A Looney Tunes Production: Bugs in the Garden/Scarecrow (#1.12)" (2015)
Wile E. Coyote: I've got it. I challenge you to a month long grow up, where I grow a garden on my side of the fence, you grow a garden on your side of the fence, and we'll see who produces a more pleasing feild. Dirt or TECHNOLOGY!
Bugs Bunny: Your on.


Adventures of the Road-Runner (1962)
Ralph Phillips: The thing I don't understand is why he wants the Road Runner in the first place.
Wile E. Coyote: A legitimate question, young man, deserving a legitimate answer.
[he shows a picture of the Road Runner during this whole scene as he says:]
Wile E. Coyote: Now then, I can easily understand why it should puzzle you that a person of my intelligence, I.Q. 207 super genius, should devote his valuable time chasing this ridiculous road runner, this bird that appears to be so skinny, scrawny, stringy, unappetizing, anemic, ugly and misbegotten. Ah, but how little you know about road runners. Actually, the road runner is to the taste buds of a coyote, what caviar, champagne, filet mignon and chocolate fudge are to the taste buds of a man.


The Drawn Together Movie: The Movie! (2010)
[the housemates are driving their van in the desert. The Roadrunner appeared in front of the van]
Wooldoor Sockbat: Look out!
Road Runner: Meep, meep!
[the van hits and kills the Roadrunner and crashes in the distance. Roadrunner lies on the road dead, in a blood bath. Wile E. Coyote runs over to the Roadrunner's dead body]
Wile E. Coyote: Without you, my life really has no meaning.
[Wile E. shoots himself in the head with a prop gun, and dies]


"Family Guy: PTV (#4.14)" (2005)
[Peter is shown working at an Acme store and Wile E. Coyote is his customer]
Wile E. Coyote: Yeah uh, I bought a giant sized sling shot from you, and it just slammed me into a mountain.
Peter Griffin: Sorry, no returns.
Wile E. Coyote: I've been a customer here for years!
Peter Griffin: I can probably give you store credit.
Wile E. Coyote: But I... really? Well I guess...
Mrs. Coyote: [walks into the store] What's the hold up in here?
Wile E. Coyote: [to his wife] I'm taking care of it!


Rabbit's Feat (1960)
[Bugs and Wile E. are laying on a rock, with their heads opposite one another]
Wile E. Coyote: Let me see now. It is obvious that this is no ordinary rabbit. Therefore, I must dream up a brilliant master strategy, ingenious, daring. Now, what if I lured him into a rock crusher?
Bugs Bunny: Nah, nah, too complicated.
Wile E. Coyote: Right, too complicated. But what if I built a Burmese tiger trap?
Bugs Bunny: Hmm. Uh-uh, too much detail.
Wile E. Coyote: Yeah, yeah, too much detail. Hmm. I've got it!
Bugs Bunny: You have?
Wile E. Coyote: Yes. Listen, you know what a sucker he is for carrots.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, yeah.
Wile E. Coyote: So what I do is, I fill some carrots full of dynamite. He eats 'em...
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, then what happens?
Wile E. Coyote: He blows up.
Bugs Bunny: [screaming] YAAAAAAAHHHH!
[he startles Wile E., who flies up and then falls down]
Bugs Bunny: That'd hurt.


"Family Guy: I Never Met the Dead Man (#1.2)" (1999)
Peter Griffin: What are you talking about? I'm a great driver.
Brian Griffin: Ha, remember your trip to the southwest?
Road Runner: [a scene similar to the Road Runner cartoons appears as well as the Road Runner] Meep, meep!
Peter Griffin: [Road Runner pulls over in the middle of the road, and is then hit by a car being driven by Peter] Aw geez, did I just hit that ostrich?
Wile E. Coyote: [Wile E. Coyote in the passenger seat] No.
Peter Griffin: Are you sure?
Wile E. Coyote: Yeah he's fine, just keep going.


Looney Tunes: Reality Check (2003) (V)
Wile E. Coyote: Your honer, I condemn the Road Runner has ignored the intently fatality of this Acme merchindice, committing numerous violations of...
Granny: [bangs her hammer on her desk] In English!
Wile E. Coyote: He wont let me catch him.
Granny: Prove it!
Wile E. Coyote: Allow me to demonstrate.
Road Runner: Meep, meep!
Foghorn Leghorn: Objection, I say objection your honer!
Granny: Over ruled!
[to Wile E. Coyote]
Granny: Continue, Mr. Coyote.