Oliver Oken
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Quotes for
Oliver Oken (Character)
from "Hannah Montana" (2006)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
"Hannah Montana: Miley, Get Your Gum (#1.2)" (2006)
Hannah Montana: [they all get in the limo] Thank you! I love you all!Thank you! Thank you!
[takes off her wig]
Hannah Montana: That was great! Oliver stared right into my eyes and never had a clue.
Lilly Truscott: [dressed up as Lola Luftnagle] Kinda like the look he has in spanish
Hannah Montana, Lilly Truscott: No comprendo!
Hannah Montana: I don't know what I was so worried about anyways
Lilly Truscott: Yeah
[opens the moon roof and Oliver pops through it]
Lilly Truscott: [They all scream, Hannah covers her face with the dog, Lilly/Lola puts Hannah's hat back on, and Robbie grabs the wig]
Robbie Stewart: Pull over driver!
Oliver Oken: Don't be scared, its me, Oliver Oken,
[Hannah puts her wig back on under cover of the dog]
Oliver Oken: wow, your even more beautiful upside down!
Lilly Truscott: Oh... Thank you! Your so sweet!
Hannah Montana: He was talking to me!
[to Oliver]
Hannah Montana: Look, you are very sweet,but, I have a boyfriend.
Oliver Oken: A boyfriend? Wait, I don't understand, then why'd you kiss me?
Hannah Montana: I didn't, the dog did.
[Holds Thor-the dog-up to Olivers face and Thor licks him]
Oliver Oken: Aww man! Those are the lips I've been thinking about for the past 24 hours!
Hannah Montana: [her wig gets turned around and Lilly pars the front so she can see out] I'm sorry,I was trying not to hurt your feelings,its just that, I'm just not interested,ok?
Oliver Oken: ok, I get it
Robbie Stewart: Now get down off the roof son before you dent it, this is a rental.
Oliver Oken: fine, I won't bother you anymore.
Lilly Truscott: [holds her hair in front of her face and Hannah pulls apart her hair so she can see Lola/Lily] If it helps, the dog hasn't stopped talking about you.
Oliver Oken: You must think I'm pathetic.
Hannah Montana: No, I think you sweet
[parts her hair so she can see]
Hannah Montana: and maybe if i didn't have a boyfriend...
Oliver Oken: I'd have a chance with you?
Hannah Montana: I never said that!
Oliver Oken: But you implied it!and thats good enough!I'll wait for you forever!
Hannah Montana: But I never said that!
Oliver Oken: Forever! Do you hear me Hannah Montana!Forever!

Oliver Oken: [Panting] Do a dude a favor, and don't get on the freeway!
[Throws flowers to Hannah Montana]
Oliver Oken: For you, my love!

Miley Stewart: What if one friend loved another friend, but that friend didn't get loved back? Then things would get all weird and uncomfortable and the friends couldn't be friends anymore. And there's nothing more important then our friendship Oliver.
Oliver Oken: Oh man you love me!
Miley Stewart: Eeww! No!
Miley Stewart: I mean, I do love you, but like a brother or a pet fish, I mean, I'd cry if I had to flush you down the toilet but I don't want to kiss you!
Oliver Oken: That's a relief, because, your my buddy, and I think Hannah and you could wind up being close friends someday.
Lilly Truscott: Closer than you think.
[Miley gives her a mean look]
Oliver Oken: Great! Once Hannah and I are together we'll have you over for some Su-shi Yeah!
[Miley holds up her index finger and starts hitting her head on a wall until Lilly stops her]

Oliver Oken: No no! My love is bigger than my disgust... and your... black drippage.

Oliver Oken: No no! My love is bigger than my disgust... and your... black dripage.
Hannah Montana: Black dripage, watch this
[blows a huge licorice bubble]
Oliver Oken: Sacrifice sacrifice sacrifice
[get hit by burst licorice bubble in the face]
Oliver Oken: aah!
Hannah Montana: How do you like me now?
Oliver Oken: I still love you
Hannah Montana: What is it going to take, you and Hannah Montana will never be together
Oliver Oken: Why?
Miley Stewart: Because I'm Hannah Montana, me Miley
[pulls off Hannah wig]
Miley Stewart: [Oliver faints when he hear that] o.k. that worked well

Oliver Oken: Awwe Man, YOU LOVE ME!
Miley Stewart: Ewwwww, NO! I mean I do love you, but like a brother or a pet fish. I'd cry if I had to flush you down the toilet, but I don't want to KISS you!

Miley Stewart: [Pulls Oliver and Lilly together] What about Lilly? You guys would be perfect together.
Lilly Truscott: Excuse me?
Miley Stewart: You're both stubborn
Lilly Truscott, Oliver Oken: I am not!
Miley Stewart: Se, you always agree with each other.
Lilly Truscott, Oliver Oken: No we don't!
Miley Stewart: I am *definitely* seeing a couple here.
Lilly Truscott, Oliver Oken: You're not because I'm not! Whoo!

Miley Stewart: What if one friend loved another friend, but didn't get loved back? Then things would get all weird and uncomfortable and the friends couldn't be friends anymore. and there's nothing more important then our friendship Oliver.
Oliver Oken: Oh man you love me!
Miley Stewart, Lilly Truscott: Eeww! No!
Miley Stewart: I mean, I do love you, but like a brother or a pet fish, I'd cry if I had to flush you down the toilet but I don't want to kiss you!
Oliver Oken: That's a relief, because, your my buddy, I think Hannah and you could wnd up being close friends
Lilly Truscott: Closer than you think
[Miley gives her a mean look]
Oliver Oken: Great! Once Hannah and I are together we'll have you over for some Su-shi Yeah!
[Miley holds up her index finger and starts hitting her head on a wall until Lilly stops her]

Oliver Oken: Good-bye, my love.
[rips off a gum-covered picture of Hannah Montana and another is behind it]
Oliver Oken: Hello again!

Lilly Truscott: Just remember Oliver, if it doesn't work out, your still Smoken' Oken.
Oliver Oken: Don't worry, it will work out.
Lilly Truscott: Right! But if it doesn't, Smoken' Oken. Nuf' said.

Oliver Oken: I heard about your break-up, and I just wanted to let you know I'm here for you, and If you need a hug, my arms are open.
Guy sitting at the beach: [has blonde hair back over chair turned around so Oliver can't see his face]
[turns around]
Guy sitting at the beach: Get away from me!
Oliver Oken: Ahah,
[thumbs up]
Oliver Oken: I can do that!

Miley Stewart: Anything?
Oliver Oken: No, in fact this is kinda awkward.

Miley Stewart: What if one friend loved another friend, but didn't get loved back? Then things would get all weird and uncomfortable and the friends couldn't be friends anymore. and there's nothing more important then our friendship Oliver.
Oliver Oken: Oh man you love me!
Lilly Truscott, Miley Stewart: Eeww! No!
Miley Stewart: I mean, I do love you, but like a brother or a pet fish, I'd cry if I had to flush you down the toilet but I don't want to kiss you!
Oliver Oken: That's a relief, because, your my buddy, I think Hannah and you could wnd up being close friends
Lilly Truscott: Closer than you think
[Miley gives her a mean look]
Oliver Oken: Great! Once Hannah and I are together we'll have you over for some Su-shi Yeah!
[Miley holds up her index finger and starts hitting her head on a wall until Lilly stops her]


"Hannah Montana: Oops! I Meddled Again (#1.11)" (2006)
Oliver Oken: [Walks up to Girl] My Robbie name is hi
[back up]
Oliver Oken: No... wait...
[steps forward]
Oliver Oken: My Oliver name is hi.

Oliver Oken: [about to walk into the cafeteria] Wait, I forgot something.
Miley Stewart: What?
Oliver Oken: My name!
Miley Stewart: It rhymes with trolley.
Oliver Oken: Oh I need more than that!

Oliver Oken: Oh, so Becca Weller wants to take a ride on the Olly Trolly? DING... ding... a-ding-a-ding-ding.

Robbie Stewart: I walked right up to her and said, My Robbie name is hi.
Oliver Oken: And it worked?
Robbie Stewart: Like a charm, the thing you have to remember it's not what you say but having the guts to say anything

Oliver Oken: Well, why don't we just put in the newspaper?

Miley Stewart: The Important thing is you're still SMOKEN OKEN!
Lilly Truscott: You leave the ladies heart broken.
Miley and Lilly: And everybody knows that we're not just jokin'! A wiki-wiki what? and a wiki-wiki Bye! A wiki-wiki what? And a wiki-wiki bye!
Oliver Oken: You guys are right, When it rhymes, It Makes Sense! You made my life a wrecka so I'm dumping you Becca!
Miley and Lilly: You Made His Life A wrecka sohe's dumping you Becca!

Miley Stewart: And the important thing is that your still Smokin' Oken.
Lily Truscott: You leave the ladies heart broken.
Lily Truscott: A Wiki-Wiki hi,
Miley Stewart: And a Wiki-Wiki bye.
Lily Truscott: A Wiki-Wiki hi,
Miley Stewart: And a Wiki-Wiki bye.
Oliver Oken: When it rymes, it makes sense.You made my life a wreck-a so I'm dumping you, Becca. You made my life a wreck-a
Lily Truscott: so he's dumping YOU, Becca. A Wiki-Wiki hi...
Miley Stewart: And a Wiki-Wiki, What the heck are you wearing?


"Hannah Montana: People Who Use People (#1.18)" (2006)
Miley Stewart: Just look for cool, older guys.
Willis: Hey Miley!
Miley Stewart: Hey Willis! Who's your friend?
Willis: Oh! This is my best friend Mike! Mike this is the girl I was telling you about. What do you think?
Mike: Hubba Hubba!
[sprays Miley with silly string]
Miley Stewart: How old is he?
Willis: I know, I know. He looks 10 but he's really 12.
Lilly Truscott: Isn't weird to hang out with people younger than you?
Willis: Well, truth is, Mike's older than me.
Oliver Oken: How old are you?
Willis: I'm 11, and 3/4.
Miley Stewart: You're 11.
Willis: And 3/4.
Miley Stewart: Watchu talkin bout Willis?
Miley Stewart: How can you be 11?
Lilly Truscott: And 3/4
Miley Stewart: NOT HELPING!
Miley Stewart: And take that giraffe off of your head.
Willis: UHHHH! It's a dragon!
Miley Stewart: Whatever, it's a balloon hat.
Oliver Oken: Look at the brightside she can babysit him for extra money.
Miley Stewart: You said you were graduating.
Willis: I AM!
Miley Stewart: Elementary school.
Willis: Sorry! I just wanted to see what it would feel like being at a party with you know an older babe.

Lilly Truscott: Miley you either confront him now or later?
Miley Stewart: I pick later.
[turns around to leave, they turn her back around]
Miley Stewart: I can see him now,
[mocking jake]
Miley Stewart: hey miley what are you and Willis doing tomorrow night, hot date on the teater totter?
Oliver Oken: I guess he wanted to try it on them 1st.
Jake's Friend: Miley you won't believe what jake just told us...
Miley Stewart: Yeah so I went out with an 11 year old. But if you ask me he could totally pass for a 16 year old. Without the balloon hat.
Lilly Truscott: Or the ninja stickers
Miley Stewart: HEY!
Jake's Friend: We were just going to tell you this funny joke Jake told us. But you went out with an 11 year old is so much funnier!
Oliver Oken: Awkward!
[Miley stares at him]
Oliver Oken: I'm just gonna go see what that joke was.
Miley Stewart: And I'm gonna go talk to Jake

Oliver Oken: Why is Miley shoving a pretzel in that guys mouth?
Lilly Truscott: I think it's supposed to look romantic.

Miley Stewart: Don't worry! I got him right where I want him!
Oliver Oken: Which is where?
Lilly Truscott: [Lily points her fingers at Miley as she walks by like she knows]
Lilly Truscott: I have no idea!

Willis: I'm eleven, and three-quarters.
Miley Stewart: How can you be eleven?
Oliver Oken: Look on the brightside, she can babysit him for extra money.

Willis: [Miley forces Willis' arm around her shoulder] Oh! I'm touching shoulder!
Mike: [runs] Willis, they're cutting the cake! It's shaped like a castle!
Willis: In a minute!
Mike: Well you better hurry if you want any of the pudding moat!
Willis: Pudding moat?
[throws arm off Miley, runs to cake]
Lilly Truscott: [turns to Oliver] Remember when you used to like cake more than girls?
Oliver Oken: Yeah. Ppuh. Kids.
Lilly Truscott: Why don't you go get some?
Oliver Oken: [runs] Maybe just a taste!


"Hannah Montana: Lilly's Mom Has Got It Goin' On (#2.19)" (2007)
Sarah: Hey, Oliver ready for International Relations Week!
Oliver Oken: Oh, Totally! My country, Okenland is ready to rock.
Oliver Oken: We've got gorgeous beaches, gorgeous girls, and our main export is love!
[gives friends high-fives]
Sarah: Good For You... want to hear about Sarahtopia?
Oliver Oken: Not Really
[walks away]

Sarah: [talking about Sarahtopia] Our national color is green, we only use alternative fuels, and our chief export is mulch made from our own waste products.
Oliver Oken: Do ya have an army?
Sarah: No
Oliver Oken: Good luck
Sarah: You won't be so smug, when your people get sick of paying $18 for a gallon of gas, revolt, and hang you by your thumbs.
[Oliver gives disgusted look]
Sarah: Bye!

Lilly Truscott: [both Miley and Lilly rush to their lockers, but Miley gets there first] You're blocking my locker.
Miley Stewart: You're blocking my locker.
Lilly Truscott: Why don't you show some
[in country accent]
Lilly Truscott: southern hospitality, and move.
Miley Stewart: Why don't you assert your independence and move me.
Oliver Oken: Ok, what are you two arguing about this time? Did somebody forget their friendship weekaversary?
Miley Stewart: We don't have weekaversaries anymore, because we are no longer friends and this would have been our 200th and Lilly would've gotten that charm bracelet she been wanting. Oh well!

Lilly Truscott: Well, I don't need presents from someone who insults my family.
Miley Stewart: [yelling] I insulted your family?
Lilly Truscott: Thanks for admiting it.
Miley Stewart: [yelling] I wasn't finished... YOUR CHECK GRABBING MOTHER!
Lilly Truscott: Your me-man-you-woman pappy!
Oliver Oken: You know what you two need? A vacation on the beautiful beaches of Okenland. Wear a bikini, get a free churro.

Oliver Oken: [steps in front of Lilly] Lilly chill!
Mr. Corelli: Guys, I was going to return those!
Oliver Oken: Don't be an idiot just take the fish!
Sarah: Hey! If she wants to pay it's her right!
Oliver Oken: Well, her right is stupid.
Sarah: Your stupid.
Oliver Oken: Oh that's pretty brave talk for someone who doesn't have an army.
Sarah: Well, who needs an army when you have an arm!
[hits Oliver with fish]

Oliver Oken: Oh, Lilly tell you mom to wear that dress she wore at my folks Christmas party. She looked so hot...
[Lilly and Miley give him weird looks]
Oliver Oken: liday-ish... very festive... gotta go
[walks off]


"Hannah Montana: Oh Say, Can You Remember the Words? (#1.10)" (2006)
Oliver Oken: [Gets Stage Fright] Uh... Look at me!
[Takes two oranges and puts them up to his eyes]
Oliver Oken: I'm a fruit fly! Abraham Fruit Fly!

Miley Stewart: Miles, iceberg right behind you.
Miley Stewart: Oliver! I was just...
Oliver Oken: Bailing on me?
Miley Stewart: No, I was only thinking about bailing on you, it's different!
Oliver Oken: You said I was the Titanic!
Miley Stewart: No, not the ship! The very successful movie! You made like a billion dollars!
[to her father]
Miley Stewart: All right, daddy. we need to work on a new warning signal!

Oliver Oken: But soft! What light over yonder breaks wind?

Oliver Oken: What light through yonder window breaks wind?

Oliver Oken: [before Shakespeare play] I don't think I can do this.
Miley Stewart: Come on Oliver you gotta stay positive.
Oliver Oken: Okay.
[pause]
Oliver Oken: I'm positive I can't do this.


"Hannah Montana: Everybody Was Best Friend Fighting (#2.14)" (2007)
Oliver Oken: You're right. And it's all freaky-freaky-freaky-freak - Are you kidding me?

Miley Stewart: [looking At Oliver's Disguise] What is that, armpit hair?
Oliver Oken: [to Lilly] I thought you said no one could tell!

Guillermo Montoya: And who might your friends be?
Miley Stewart: Well, Gui, this is Lola Loftnagle. And this is...
Oliver Oken: [looks at microphone stand] Mikestand. Mike. Stand. Ley. Mike Standley. The third.
Lilly Truscott: And hopefully the last.

Lilly Truscott: Hey Miley, I made you a cake.
Oliver Oken: Pathetic! Trying to butter her up with cake. Hey Miley, I made you a shirt!

Lilly Truscott: [Speaking simultaneously] She's taking me! Tell him!
Oliver Oken: She's taking me! Tell her!


"Hannah Montana: I Can't Make You Love Hannah If You Don't (#1.4)" (2006)
Miley Stewart: This is so frustrating! I spent all day yesterday trying to make Josh like Hannah Montana.
Oliver Oken: How'd it go?
Miley Stewart: It went really well! He loves Hannah Montana now and we're getting married! How do you think it went you donut?
Oliver Oken: I'm gonna guess not so well.
Lilly Truscott: Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner

Oliver Oken: So, how did it go with Josh?
Miley Stewart: Oh, well he loves Hannah Montana and were gonna get married! How do you think it went donut?

Oliver Oken: It worked out! Who's the donut now?
Lilly Truscott: Still you!

Miley Stewart: Lilly, I'm serious. How am I going to go out with a guy that doesn't like half of me?
Lilly Truscott: He doesn't know he doesn't like half of you... so just make him think half you he likes is all of you... as long as the other half keeps their mouth shut... the three of you should make a beautiful couple.
Oliver Oken: [confused look] I never get chick math.


"Hannah Montana: Me and Rico Down by the School Yard (#2.1)" (2007)
Tough Guy: Hey freshmeat. What are you doing crammed inside my locker?
Oliver Oken: I'm not crammed inside - my moms a cop!

Lilly Truscott: Use your muscles Oliver.
Oliver Oken: They're in my backpack.

Oliver Oken: [Lily grabs Oliver at chest] Easy on the pecs! They pop.


"Hannah Montana: My Boyfriend's Jackson and There's Gonna Be Trouble (#1.21)" (2007)
Sarah: So... how about that grade we got on the baby project?
Oliver Oken: Yeah... it's pretty great.
[long pause]
Sarah: Did you say something?
Oliver Oken: No.
Sarah: Oh, okay.
[long pause]
Oliver Oken: I'm just gonna go stretch my legs.
Sarah: Alright.
[walks over to Lily]
Oliver Oken: She's sufficating me!
Lilly Truscott: Sarah? The love of your life? The apple of your eye? The mother of your flour?
Oliver Oken: That's just it. Without the kid we have nothing to talk about.
Lilly Truscott: So, tell her how you feel and get it over with.
Oliver Oken: Lily, you don't understand, I mean... it would break her heart. I'm her Big Daddy Oken.
[Sarah taps him on the back]
Sarah: Big Daddy? I gotta be honest. Without the baby, we have nothing to talk about, you're boring and you use petroleum-based hair products. It's over.
[pause]
Sarah: Bye, Lily!

Sarah: There's my little cuddle-wuddles.
[shows Oliver with flour sack]
Sarah: Mommy got you some strained beats from a non-profit native american commune.
Oliver Oken: Awww. Yummy. You missed it Sarah, sweetheart.
[sits flour sack on table]
Oliver Oken: He just learned how to sit up on his own.
Sarah: Oh! Good for you!
[pinches the flour sack's "cheek"]
Sarah: It won't be long before you're all grown up and making alternative fuel out of raisins.
Lilly Truscott: So... that's what this is all about.
Oliver Oken: What?
Lilly Truscott: Nothing. It's just you, Sarah and your flower child make a very cute family.
Sarah: Thank you.
Oliver Oken: Oh, Lily. You kidder. We're just friends doing an assignment. Nothing more.
[walks away]
Oliver Oken: Don't blow this for me. I really like her.
Lilly Truscott: [laughing:] Since when?
Oliver Oken: Since she became the mother of my assignment. Look, I can't explain it, but the more time I spend with her, the more I like her.
Sarah: Oliver. I'm getting worried. I think he looks a little pale.
Lilly Truscott: Of course he's pale! He's bleached flour!
[Oliver gives Lily and horrified look]

Lilly Truscott: Oliver! You've got to get your board! The waves are incredible today.
[shows Sarah blowing raspberry on the flour sack]
Oliver Oken: How did I get so lucky?
Lilly Truscott: Everyone picked partners, and you were the only two left.
Sarah: Olikens? Where's the sunscreen? Now that they've destroyed the ozone layer, we have to protect little Ollie.
Oliver Oken: Coming, Sarah Boo.
[starts to walk over to Sarah, but Lily stops him]
Lilly Truscott: Olikens? Sarah Boo?
Oliver Oken: [voice breaking:] I know... my cup runneth over.
[goes over to Sarah and puts sunscreen on the flour sack]
Oliver Oken: Oh, there you go.
Sarah: Just think, one day, he could be a great humanitarion.
Lilly Truscott: Or a couple dozen cupcakes!
[Sarah and Oliver give Lily horrified looks]


"Hannah Montana: Money for Nothing, Guilt for Free (#1.19)" (2006)
Oliver Oken: Fine. Let's go give miss goodie two-socks the money.

Miley Stewart: This is going to be easier than finding a mullet in a Trucker's convention!
Oliver Oken, Lilly Truscott: What?
Miley Stewart: Ya'll wouldn't last ten seconds in Tenesse.

Lilly Truscott: i'd bet she'd take a donation from a generous celiberty
Miley Stewart: i'd bet she would
Oliver Oken: yeah where we going to find one of those
[Miley and Lilly hit him with pillows at the same time]
Miley Stewart: you'd think he'd learn by now


"Hannah Montana: Good Golly, Miss Dolly (#1.16)" (2006)
Oliver Oken: Oww! You pulled out my only chest hair!

Lilly Truscott: [to the camera about the principal's retirement] I can't believe you're retiring. You don't look a day over 80!
Oliver Oken: Lilly, he's only 65.
Lilly Truscott: Is he sick?
Oliver Oken: He will be after he sees this. Lets see what Dandruff Danny has to say.
Danny Dandruff: Let me do my hair!
Oliver Oken: This is going to take a while.
Lilly Truscott: [stepping in front o the camera] I didn't mean your old, you just remind me of my dead grandfather!
[nervously]
Lilly Truscott: But he didn't die from old age, he got hit by a school bus.
[very nervously]
Lilly Truscott: Ironic, huh?

Lilly Truscott: [On Olivers goodbye tape to Principal Fisher] We're gonna miss you Principal Fisher! I can't believe you're retiring! You don't look a day over 80!
Oliver Oken: Lilly, he's only 65.
Lilly Truscott: Really? Is he sick?
Oliver Oken: He will be when he sees this.
[Turns the camera to Dandruff Danny]
Oliver Oken: Let's see what Farewell words Dandruff Danny has for Principal Fisher.
Dandruff Danny: One second let me fix my hair!
Oliver Oken: This is gonna take a while.
Lilly Truscott: [Cuts in front of Dandruff Danny] Ugh,, I was just kidding about before sir. It's not that you're old,it's that you remind me of my dead grandfather. But he didn't die from old age. He got hit by a school bus. Ironic... isn't it?


"Hannah Montana: My Best Friend's Boyfriend (#2.7)" (2007)
Oliver Oken: [on his mom's magazines] I found out I'm an autumn, capri pants are best for my figure, and that true love eventually turns into a warm, comfortable glow.

Lucas: Did you see that? That was a move.
Oliver Oken: Not just a move... that was a Hair Touch move.

Lucas: I'm gonna go over there and talk to Hannah. Hey, maybe if things work out, I'll hook you up with her friend.
Oliver Oken: Oh, fingers crossed!


"Hannah Montana: Torn Between Two Hannahs (#1.17)" (2006)
[Lily and Oliver have 2 Hannahs and they don't know which is Miley or Luann]
Oliver Oken: I've got it. Both of you kiss me.
Luann: Okay.
Miley Stewart: Ewww.
Oliver Oken: [pointing to second Hannah] That's Miley.

Oliver Oken: Wow. When my goldfish died, my mom flushed it down the toilet. And I'll never forget her comforting words... Oliver, just get over it. It's just a stinkin' fish.

Robbie Stewart: Sometimes people do things without thinkin' 'bout them first!
Oliver Oken: [a fly flies near his pie then he swats it and the pie goes over his shirt then he wipes it] Stupid fly.
[eats pie while the fly is still on it]
Robbie Stewart: I didn't plan that but there you go!


"Hannah Montana: Joannie B. Goode (#2.28)" (2008)
Joannie: Hey hey T-Cott!
Lilly Truscott: What's up P-Bo?
Lilly Truscott, Joannie: [do handshake] Sock it, lock it, put it in your pocket.
Oliver Oken: This is soo cool.

Miley Stewart: But I don't like your girlfriend.
Oliver Oken: That's okay, she doesn't like you either... and besides chances are one of us is gonna date someone the other two can't stand.
Lilly Truscott: Yeah, remember Josh.
Oliver Oken: Oh yeah and Trey... ugh...
Lilly Truscott: ugh... I know... and Jake...
Oliver Oken: Oh my gosh...
Miley Stewart: Ok I get it


"Hannah Montana: New Kid in School (#1.14)" (2006)
Oliver Oken: I can't believe we're going to be THIS close to a famous person!
Miley Stewart: What am I? A grilled cheese sandwich?
Lilly Truscott: When you're Miley, you might as well be.

Oliver Oken: Wow, your car makes Jackson's look like a piece of...
Jackson Stewart: [glares at him]
Oliver Oken: PIE... yummy, yummy pie
[smiles]


"Hannah Montana: Mascot Love (#1.8)" (2006)
Oliver Oken: [Over sports announcement system] 555-0127 That's 555-0127. That's my number ladies the tenth caller gets a date with Moi.

Jackson Stewart: [singing in the tune of 'Pumpin Up The Party' and shaking his butt while trying to fix the sink] Hey/ Come on/ Get out/I'm sneaking out the pipes now/Hey/Come on...
Oliver Oken: Hey uh Jackson? Where's Miley?
Jackson Stewart: Don't know.
Oliver Oken: When's she gonna be back?
Jackson Stewart: Don't care.
Oliver Oken: Could you tell her I stopped by?
Jackson Stewart: Don't count on it.


"Hannah Montana: (We're So Sorry) Uncle Earl (#2.22)" (2008)
Robbie Stewart: Why don't I just change the channel?
Oliver Oken: Hey I think "Are You Dumber Than a Dog" is on.
Lilly Truscott: Oh yeah, it'll be much more fun watching Oliver lose to the beagle again.
Oliver Oken: That dog was coached.

Lilly Truscott: [while carrying in box with Oliver] Hey, Uncle Earl... what's this?
Uncle Earl: Oh, that's Cuddle's twinkle box.
Lilly Truscott: Eww! Eww! Eww!
Oliver Oken: Oh, you are such a wimp.
Lilly Truscott: [lifts up tinkle box so it's pointing towards Oliver] Take it back! Take it back!
Oliver Oken: Ugh! It's getting on me... it's getting on me... ugh it's seeping through my clothes!


"Hannah Montana: Achey Jakey Heart: Part 1 (#2.9)" (2007)
Oliver Oken: Well maybe because at Rico's you get over priced hot dogs, right? And here, you get half-priced food poisoning.

Oliver Oken: I was supposed to take this to the Precinct for the other cops. But, now you got the meat with the cheese, it's not kosher. Oh, Detective Schwartz is gonna go all mashugana.


"Hannah Montana: Debt It Be (#1.20)" (2006)
Oliver Oken: I think I'm in love.
[picks up a sandwich]
Oliver Oken: You're wearing avocado aren't you, do you know what that does to me.
Miley Stewart: What's wrong with you boy?
Oliver Oken: It's free food, I'm a guy, do the math.

Miley Stewart: I have to have these shoes!
Oliver Oken: Why?
Miley Stewart: They are shoes, I am a girl, do the math


"Hannah Montana: Lilly, Do You Want to Know a Secret? (#1.1)" (2006)
Lilly Truscott: Ok, we didn't get those seats. Minor setback. but the good news is
[starts whispering]
Lilly Truscott: we have better seats for Hannah Montana!
Miley Stewart: I'm sorry, it's just that, I don't like Hannah Montana
[pulls her hair behind her head and starts eating]
Lilly Truscott: [leans down until her head is almost even with the table] What?
Oliver Oken: [walks in and starts talking to girls] Hey baby, how are you doing?... Oliver Oken, and may I say you two, are smokin'
Amber: In your dreams.
Oliver Oken: I'm countin' on that!
[walks past another girl]
Oliver Oken: Hey slick!... Hey! Oh yeah, she wants me.
Lilly Truscott: Oliver, you're not going to believe this! Miley says she "doesn't" like Hannah Montana!
Oliver Oken: What! Hannah Montana is a goddess! I worship at her feet!, in fact, FYI someday I'm gonna be Mr. Hannah Montana.
[Miley's eyebrows go halfway up her forehead]
Oliver Oken: I'm gonna watch her every minute of every day, and protect her from any obsessed fans, and every night I''m gonna shampoo and condition that beautiful "blonde" hair.
Miley Stewart: Oliver, I say this because I care about you, *get some help*!

Lilly Truscott: [Hannah stands behind the coat rack and moves clothes in front of her face so Lilly can't see her] I just wish Miley were here.
Hannah Montana: [talks fast] Uh, Miley, who's Miley, I don't know Miley, that's a strange name.
Lilly Truscott: Oh, she's my best friend.
Hannah Montana: [spreads clothes on coat rack and steps through it, then she runs to the door and opens it] Right! Well then, why don't you go get her.
Lilly Truscott: Oh, great idea, I'll call her
[takes out cell phone]
Hannah Montana: [closes door] No!
[walks up to her]
Hannah Montana: You know, cell phones don't really work in here, it has to do with the walls and the cement and...
[her cell phone starts ringing and she looks down at it]
Hannah Montana: OK, they must've fixed it.
Lilly Truscott: [Lilly's mouth opens] Aren't you gonna get that?
Hannah Montana: Uh, uh, uh, uh, No! I'm talking to you that would be rude.
[phone ring more]
Hannah Montana: Ok, she's not home
[closes Lilly's cell phone]
Lilly Truscott: Wow, that was weird!
Hannah Montana: [reaches for a pen and a picture] Uh, why don't I just give you an autograph for her.
Oliver Oken: What about me, I'm the one who loves you!
[Hannah closes her eyes]
Oliver Oken: [see's the pie on Hannah's face] Your much paler in person
Hannah Montana: Yeah, and you know what, gosh it was real fun meetin' you guys but I really gotta go.
Oliver Oken: Wait! Can't I shampoo and condition your beautiful blonde hair?
Hannah Montana: No! But you can take this towel.
[throws him the towel she wiped pie out of her eyes with]
Oliver Oken: Hannah Montana's towel!
[falls from window]
Oliver Oken: [crashing noises] Its ok, none of my blood got on the towel!
Lilly Truscott: Well, I guess I'm leaving too.
Hannah Montana: [motions her out the door] OK!
Lilly Truscott: Without even a towel as a souvenir.
Hannah Montana: [motions her out of the room again] Buh bye!
Lilly Truscott: Nothing but my memories, which will fade, too, too, quickly.
[turns back around]
Hannah Montana: All right all right! Here!
[hands her a scarf]
Lilly Truscott: Oh my gosh!
[puts scarf around her neck]
Lilly Truscott: The actual scarf you wore on the actual stage!
[Hannah grabs the autograph and hands it to her]
Lilly Truscott: I can't believe. Hey I have a lucky bracelet just like that! I loaned it to my best friend yesterday. Of course mine says Lilly on the back...
[looks at bottom of bracelet]
Lilly Truscott: Just like that.
[wipes pie off of Hannah's face]
Hannah Montana: Ta da!


"Hannah Montana: Get Down, Study-udy-udy (#2.4)" (2007)
Rico: [having seen Miley's "Bone Dance"] That song, those moves, your voice. It all reminds me of some famous singer.
Miley Stewart: Kelly Clarkson?
Lilly Truscott: Hillary Duff?
Oliver Oken: Jay-Z?
Rico: I got it. Hannah Montana!
[Miley, Lilly and Oliver all burst out laughing]


"Hannah Montana: You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Zit Is About You (#1.13)" (2006)
Oliver Oken: Stop staring at me... I AM NOT AN ANIMAL!


"Hannah Montana: You Didn't Say It's Your Birthday (#2.24)" (2008)
Oliver Oken: [Lilly is hogging the chips] I paid for half of those!
Lilly Truscott: See, this is why you don't get dates... I'm a girl... be nice!
Oliver Oken: And this is why you don't get dates... you eat like a pig!
Lilly Truscott: You take that back!
[accidently spits on Oliver]
Oliver Oken: [wipes it off and wipes it on her shoulder] No, you take this back.
Lilly Truscott: Eww...


"Hannah Montana: Achey Jakey Heart: Part 2 (#2.10)" (2007)
Miley Stewart: Learn to love his flaws?
Oliver Oken: Like the adorable way he steals water from little girls?


"Hannah Montana: Bad Moose Rising (#1.26)" (2007)
Oliver Oken: [Eating ice cream sloppily] I don't understand why you don't just dump the kid and go home.
Miley Stewart: And I don't understand why you eat with your face.


"Hannah Montana: Schooly Bully (#1.23)" (2007)
Oliver Oken: I'll start writing your will.
Lilly Truscott: Oh, put me down for her shoes!
Miley Stewart: Ah, Fellowship of the wienies!


"Hannah Montana: Cuffs Will Keep Us Together (#2.2)" (2007)
Oliver Oken: [key breaks in hand cuffs] Uh Oh!
Miley Stewart: I hate when he says uh oh!
Robbie Stewart: Yeah, it's almost as bad as when he thinks!


"Hannah Montana: She's a Supersneak (#1.3)" (2006)
Lilly Truscott: [after Miley whipspers something in her ear] Okay, got it!
Oliver Oken: I didn't hear it. Got what?
Lilly Truscott: Milk! Shh. I'll tell you in the car.


"Hannah Montana: Grandmas Don't Let Your Babies Grow Up to Play Favorites (#1.6)" (2006)
Grandma Stewart: you want this don't you
Grandma Stewart: so stop your moping
Oliver Oken: [waa... waa]
[Oliver finger accidently presses a button on soundboard]
Oliver Oken: finger slipped my bad
Grandma Stewart: bend those knees
Grandma Stewart: [jackson spikes the volleyball into oliver knocking him down] yeah thats what i'm talking about.
[Oliver presses another button as he falls to floor]