President George H.W. Bush
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"The Simpsons: Two Bad Neighbors (#7.13)" (1996)
George Bush: If they don't think George Bush will go into the sewer, they don't know George Bush.

Homer: Hello Mr. Bush, it's your sons, George Bush, Jr. and Jeb Bush.
George Bush: Barbara, the boys are here, maybe they can help us take care of those Simpsons.

George Bush: You know, in my day, little boys didn't call their elders by their first names.
Bart: Yeah, well, welcome to the 20th century, George.

Bart: Hey, nice pajamas.
George Bush: They're presidential pajamas. You have to be president. And *you're* not president.
Bart: Yes I am.
George Bush: No you're not! Bar!

[President Bush has put up a poster on the front of the house with crudely drawn pictures of Homer and Bart on it. It reads 'Two Bad Neighbours']
Dr. Julius Hibbert: [confused] I don't understand. Are you saying you and Barbara are bad neighbours?
George Bush: [annoyed] No, its not Bar and me. It's them!
[Bush points at the Simpsons' house]
Ned Flanders: Who, Maude and me?
George Bush: No, the man and his boy. Ya know. The boy is named Bart. I don't know the name of the man.
[calls in to his wife, Barbara]
George Bush: Bar, what's the name of the man?
Barbara Bush: [calling out to George] I'm not getting involved, George!


W. (2008/I)
George Herbert Walker Bush: You want an ass-whipping?
George W. Bush: Try it old man!
George Herbert Walker Bush: Go ahead, take a swing!

George Herbert Walker Bush: [on the phone with George W. after he gets arrested] My father would've kicked the living crap out of me if I ended up where you are now, Junior.

George Herbert Walker Bush: If I remember correctly, you didn't like the sporting goods job or the oil rig job. Working in the investment firm wasn't for you either. That ranchette thing in Arizona, that sure didn't last long. Didn't exactly finish up with flying colors in the Air National Guard, Junior. We're still not out of that one. Now this gal Susie shooting her mouth off about you knocking her up.
George W. Bush: Wait a sec, how'd you know about that?
George Herbert Walker Bush: Word gets around, boy-o.
George W. Bush: That's a dang lie, Poppy. I use a condom, I'm not... dumb.
George Herbert Walker Bush: What are you cut out for? Partying, chasing tail, driving drunk? Who do you think you are, a Kennedy? You're an Bush! Act like one. Can't even hold a job. We always worked for a living. It's damn time you joined the rest of us and decided just what it is you're gonna do with your life.
George W. Bush: I know, Poppy. I'm... I'm just having a devil of a time trying to figure it out.
George Herbert Walker Bush: Well, then, figure it out soon, Junior. Your brother Jeb graduates 5 Beta Kappa. What'd you get? Cs? You only get one bite of the apple, you know.
George W. Bush: Look, Jeb's not me and I don't want to be Jeb, Poppy. Look, what I'd really love... what I'd REALLY love to do is find something in baseball.
George Herbert Walker Bush: Doing what? You can't play. Coach? Come on! You're fishing for the moon in the water! Something real! I started out in the oil fields and I was hoping that...
George W. Bush: Look, I'll try harder, Poppy. I promise. I can do it.
George Herbert Walker Bush: Can you? Can you really? You agreed to work for a certain period of time and you haven't kept your word once. Not once. In our family, the Bush family, we honor our commitments. I'll take care of this... young woman.
[W heads for the door]
George Herbert Walker Bush: You disappoint me, Junior. Deeply disappoint me.
George W. Bush: Is that it?
George Herbert Walker Bush: Yeah.
[W exits]

George Herbert Walker Bush: [about Jeb losing his election] Wish I could be at his inauguration, too. That would've been something.
George W. Bush: How do you just feel bad about Jeb? Huh? Why don't you feel good about me?


The Naked Gun 2½: The Smell of Fear (1991)
President George Bush: Frank, please consider filling a post I'm creating. It may mean long hours and dangerous nights, surrounded by some of the scummiest elements in our society.
Lt. Frank Drebin: You want me to be in your cabinet?

President George Bush: 1000 points light... recession bad, recovery good... I think I got that.


"The Simpsons: Realty Bites (#9.9)" (1997)
Marge Simpson: [after collecting her unemployment check] Three hundred dollars for doing nothing? I feel like such a crook!
George Bush: Don't worry! Gets easier every year!

[Marge gets her first unemployment check]
Marge: Three hundred dollars for doing nothing. I feel like such a crook.
George Bush: Don't worry, it gets easier every week.


"The Simpsons: Mr. Lisa Goes to Washington (#3.2)" (1991)
[Pres. Bush has received the bill to expel a corrupt congressman]
George H.W. Bush: Okay, this should make my bosses very happy.
Foreign Diplomat: *Your* bosses?
George H.W. Bush: [signs the bill] Yep, all 250 million of them.


"The Simpsons: Rosebud (#5.4)" (1993)
[as the line files into Burns's birthday party, the people passing the guard include Ronald Reagan, Richard Nixon, and then... ]
Security Guard: [grabs George Bush] Hey! No one-termers.
[he shoves Bush out of line]
George H. W. Bush: You too, huh? Hey, I know a good yogurt place.
Jimmy Carter: Get away from me, loser.


"The Golden Girls: The President's Coming! The President's Coming! Part 2 (#5.26)" (1990)
Rose Nylund: Is the Oval Office as hard to vacuum as I think it is?
George Bush: I don't know, there hasn't been a Hoover in the White House in 60 years.


"Saturday Night Live: Tom Hanks/Keith Richards (#14.1)" (1988)
George Bush: [during the 1988 Presidential debates] What am I going to do? Can't say. Wouldn't be prudent. Got to watch out for the vision thing. Wouldn't be prudent.
Michael Dukakis: [looking in the camera] I can't believe I'm losing to this guy.


"South Park: A Ladder to Heaven (#6.12)" (2002)
George Bush: Ladies and gentlemen of the UN. We have evidence that Saddam Hussein is up there building weapons of mass destruction. We have tried to communicate with Saddam through a psychic, to ask him to let us see his warehouses in heaven, but he has not responded.
[Silence from the delegates]
Indian UN delegate: Of course he has not responded, because he's dead!
[Bangs his fist on the table]
George Bush: Right. Dead and in heaven.
UN delegate #1: This is preposterous! Even if there was a heaven, what makes you think Saddam Hussein's soul would be sent there?
George Bush: Our intelligence tells us that when Saddam was originally killed, his soul actually went to hell. But while in hell, he began a homosexual relationship with Satan, the Prince of Darkness. Satan, however, decided he didn't want to be with Hussein anymore, and broke up with him around August. When Saddam became yealous and tried to kill Satan's new lover, Chris, Satan had Saddam sent to heaven to live with Mormones as a punishment.
[Stunned silence]
George Bush: Questions?
[One man raises his hand]
George Bush: Yes?
UN delegate #2: Are you high, or just incredibly stupid?
George Bush: I assure you I am not high.