Spirit of Christmas Present
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Quotes for
Spirit of Christmas Present (Character)
from A Christmas Carol (2009)

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Scrooge (1970)
Ebenezer Scrooge: [Ghost of Christmas Present has brought Scrooge to Bob Cratchit's home] I want to look in the window.
Ghost of Christmas Present: It will cost you nothing, which I'm sure is good news for you.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Will they be able to see me?
Ghost of Christmas Present: No, which I'm sure is good news for them.

Ghost of Christmas Present: There is never enough time to do or say all the things that we would wish. The thing is to try to do as much as you can in the time that you have. Remember Scrooge, time is short, and suddenly, you're not there any more.

[Scrooge is covertly watching Harry's Christmas party]
Tom - Friend of Harry's: Harry, I've visited you every Christmas for the past five years, and to this day I can never understand this extraordinary ritual of toasting the health of your old uncle Ebenezer. I mean, everyone knows he's the most miserable old skinflint that ever walked God's earth.
Ebenezer Scrooge: [glaring] Who's he?
Ghost of Christmas Present: Oh... just a friend.
Nephew Fred: My dear Tom, it's very simple. He is indeed a despicable old miser, worse than you could ever possibly imagine.
[Ghost of Christmas Present bursts out laughing]
Ebenezer Scrooge: You find this amusing?
Ghost of Christmas Present: Believe it or not, he likes you.
Nephew Fred: See, I look at it this way: If I can wish a Merry Christmas to him, who is beyond dispute the most obnoxious and parsimonious of all living creatures, then I know in my heart that I am truly a man of goodwill.
Ebenezer Scrooge: [rising to lunge at Fred] Scoundrel!
Ghost of Christmas Present: Wait! There's more to come.
Nephew Fred: And besides... I like old Scrooge!
Ghost of Christmas Present: What did I tell you?

Ghost of Christmas Present: [to Scrooge] Come over here, you weird little man!

Ghost of Christmas Present: How many of my brothers have you rejected in your miserable lifetime!
Ebenezer Scrooge: I have never met any of your brothers, sir!
Ghost of Christmas Present: You have never looked for them!

Ghost of Christmas Present: [to Scrooge] I must admit I found it hard to believe you'd be as horrible as they said you'd be... but now that I look at you, I can see that they were understating the truth!

Ebenezer Scrooge: I hate life!
Ghost of Christmas Present: Nonsense, man! Why?
Ebenezer Scrooge: Because life hates me, that's why!
Ghost of Christmas Present: Scrooge, you're an even bigger fool than I took you for!

Ebenezer Scrooge: [asking about the ghost's elder brothers] How many of them are there?
Ghost of Christmas Present: What year is this?
Ebenezer Scrooge: Eighteen hundred and sixty.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Then I have eighteen hundred and fifty-nine brothers.

Scrooged (1988)
Ghost of Christmas Present: Sometimes you have to *slap* them in the face just to get their attention!

Ghost of Christmas Present: [repeating the question] On the "Addams Family", what instrument did Lurch play?
Frank Cross: I may be invisible, but I am *not deaf!*

Ghost of Christmas Present: You know I like the rough stuff, don't you, Frank?

The Ghost of Christmas Present: Oh, what is this, Frank? Oh, oh look, Frank! It's a toaster!
[hits him in the forehead with the toaster]

Ghost of Christmas Present: Close your eyes...! And think of snowflakes and moonbeams and whiskers on kittens...
[She notices Frank peeking and goes to jab his eys with two fingers]
Ghost of Christmas Present: Nooooo peeking!
[Frank blocks the jab and closes his eyes]
Ghost of Christmas Present: Of rainbows, forget-me-nots... of misty meadows and sun-dappled pools. Oh, look! There's Mr Hedgehog. I wonder where he's going? Perhaps to HARLEM!
[She punches Frank]
Frank Cross: My jaw!
Ghost of Christmas Present: Sometimes the truth is painful, Frank.
[She slaps his face]
Ghost of Christmas Present: But it's made your cheeks rosy and your eyes bright!
Frank Cross: If you TOUCH ME AGAlN, I'll rip your goddamned wings off! Okay?

Frank Cross: [about Calvin] He's a bright little guy. What's wrong with him?
Ghost of Christmas Present: He hasn't spoken since he saw his father killed five years ago. He just drifted away, like Sleeping Beauty.
Frank Cross: I didn't know Grace's husband died.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Oh Frank, don't you remember the time she wore black for a year?
Frank Cross: I remember her wearing black... I thought it was a fashion thing. Everybody was wearing black!
Ghost of Christmas Present: Oh Frank.
Frank Cross: Well, is he going to be okay?
Ghost of Christmas Present: It's his choice, only he can break the spell.

The Ghost of Christmas Present: Don't vex me Frank, or I'll fix your mouth so it won't hold soup.

A Christmas Carol (1984) (TV)
Ebenezer Scrooge: [looking at the Cratchit's feast] It's such a small goose.
Ghost of Christmas Present: [leaning in Scrooge's face] It's all Bob Cratchit can afford.

Ebenezer Scrooge: ...Where are we now?
Ghost of Christmas Present: The name would mean nothing to you. It's a place, like too many in this world.
Meg: ...Mary, Peter, they're cooked.
[to Ben]
Meg: Do we have enough wood for the night?
Peter (their son): They're too hot to eat yet, mother.
Meg: They'll be cooler soon enough.
Mary (their daughter): How did you get these, father?
Ben: [defensive] I didn't steal them, if that's what you're saying!
Meg: She never SAID you stole them, Ben! Don't berate the girl.
Ben: She should have some respect!
Meg: They fell from a cart into the road, Mary.
Ben: Your father's not a thief, Mary... Not yet.
Meg: ...Ben, come back and eat with us, won't you?
Ben: Look at these hands, Meg. They're hard hands; they've done hard work. I want to work, to have bread for my children... It's not right that there's no work.
Meg: We four still have each other, Ben. That's the most important thing.
Ben: I love you, Meg, all of you. Tomorrow, I want you to take the children and go to the Parish Poorhouse.
Meg: No! Better we all drown in the river, than go to one of THOSE places and be separated forever!
Ben: Only until I can find work.
Meg: We wouldn't LAST that long...! Come on, Ben, let's have some dinner.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Why are these people out here? Wearing rags, eating scraps! Why aren't they in poorhouses, or...?
Ghost of Christmas Present: Have you VISITED any of these poorhouses you speak of?
Ebenezer Scrooge: No, but I'm taxed for them; isn't that enough?
Ghost of Christmas Present: YOU tell ME.

Fred Holywell: [on his Uncle Ebenezer] ... His wealth is quite useless to him, really. He doesn't do any good with it; he doesn't even make HIMSELF comfortable with it.
Ebenezer Scrooge: [whom nobody else can see or hear] I haven't SQUANDERED it, if that's what you mean by "making myself comfortable!"
Ghost of Christmas Present: You mustn't argue with those in the right. It's pointless, and even tactless.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Tact is a quality I despise.
Ghost of Christmas Present: *That* I can see.

Ebenezer Scrooge: [to a "simile" player at the Hollywell's party, who's just been eliminated from the proceedings] ... "Quick as a FLASH," you idiot!
Ghost of Christmas Present: Ebenezer! Shush!
Ebenezer Scrooge: You said they could neither see nor hear us.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Oh, yes... that's right. Well, even I forget the regulations sometimes; after all, I don't come back very often.
Ebenezer Scrooge: SHUSH... I'm trying to listen to the game!

Ebenezer Scrooge: [on Tiny Tim] Tell me, Spirit... Will he live?
Ghost of Christmas Present: I see an empty place at this table. I see a crutch without an owner, carefully preserved. If these shadows remain unaltered by the future, the child will die.
Ebenezer Scrooge: No. Say he'll be spared.
Ghost of Christmas Present: If these shadows remain unaltered by the future, none other of my species will find him here. But if he is to die, then let him die...! "AND DECREASE THE SURPLUS POPULATION!"
Ebenezer Scrooge: You use my own words against me?
Ghost of Christmas Present: Yes! So perhaps, in the future, you will hold your tongue until you have discovered where the surplus population is, and WHO it is. It may well be that, in the sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live than MILLIONS like this poor man's child.

Ebenezer Scrooge: [after Present shows him a starving homeless family] Why do you show me this? What has it to do with me?
Ghost of Christmas Present: Are they not of the human race? Look here, beneath my robe!
[opens his robe to reveal two filthy, ashen, corpse-like children standing where his legs should be]
Ghost of Christmas Present: Look upon these!
Ebenezer Scrooge: [stupefied with horror] What are they?
Ghost of Christmas Present: They are your children! They are the children of all who walk the earth unseen! Their names are Ignorance and Want! Beware of them, for upon their brow is written the word "doom"! They spell the downfall of you and all who deny their existence!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Have they no refuge, no resource?
Ghost of Christmas Present: [smiles, mocking him from an earlier conversation] "Are there no workhouses? Are there no prisons?"
Ebenezer Scrooge: [looks down at the children] Cover them. I do not wish to see them.
Ghost of Christmas Present: I thought as much.
[Present closes his robe to conceal the children]
Ghost of Christmas Present: They are hidden... but they live... oh, they live...

Mickey's Christmas Carol (1983)
Ghost of Christmas Present: Don't forget the chocolate pot roast with smishmashio... With smiminish... With yogurt.

Scrooge: Please, let me go! Don't eat me!
Ghost of Christmas Present: Why would the Ghost of Christmas Present - that's me - want to eat a distasteful little miser like you?... Especially when there are so many good things to enjoy in life?

Scrooge: Where did all this come from?
Ghost of Christmas Present: From the heart, Scrooge. It's the food of generosity, which you have long denied your fellow man.
Scrooge: Generosity? Ha! Nobody has ever shown me generosity!
Ghost of Christmas Present: You've never given them a reason to.
[plucks off a grape then gulps it]
Ghost of Christmas Present: And yet... there are some who still find enough warmth in their hearts even for the likes of you.
Scrooge: Hmph! No acquaintence of mine, I assure you.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Duh, you'll see.

Scrooge: Tell me, spirit, what's wrong with that tiny lad?
Ghost of Christmas Present: Much, I'm afraid. If these shadows remain unchanged, I see an empty chair where Tiny Tim once sat.
Scrooge: Then that means Tim will...

Scrooge: What's she cooking, a canary? Surely they have more food than that. Look on the fire.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Huh, where? Oh, that's your laundry.

Ebbie (1995) (TV)
Ghost of Christmas Present: [in a moving driverless car on Christmas Day] Feel that air!
[sound of church bells]
Ghost of Christmas Present: Listen to that music! All over the city... music! Bells... bells are my favorites. *Ring those bells!* And people singing and laughing and happy! Mmmmmm, and those smells! Evergreen trees and chestnuts roasting and pies baking!
Ebbie: I suppose you think I should be baking Christmas pies.
Ghost of Christmas Present: You might give it a try, boss. Bake a pie... sing a song... wish somebody a happy holiday and mean it. We make our own happiness.

Ebbie: [talking about Tim Cratchit] He's not going to die, though?
Ghost of Christmas Present: Everybody dies, boss.
Ebbie: Yes, but he's just a child!
Ghost of Christmas Present: Well, too many people in the world anyways. Isn't that what you said?
Ebbie: I didn't mean him!
Ghost of Christmas Present: Didn't you? Oh, which ones did you mean?
Ebbie: [pause, then] I wasn't thinking.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Yup, there's a lot of that going around these days.

Ebbie: [Christmas Present is showing her her neice's party] These are all a lot of people I could never be comfortable with. I mean, I could never fit in here.
Chost of Christmas Present: Feeling a little left out, are you?
Ebbie: I was invited! I was always invited.

Ebbie: [she's been shown Paul and his wife] She's lovely, Paul. Oh, such a fool... it could have been me with him.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Well, who's to say? Maybe it wouldn't have been the best thing, you know? I got to admit... he's a pretty darn nice guy. Time's up... gotta go.
[She prepares to take them away]
Ebbie: [stops Christmas Present] Paul... I want to be happy... I just don't know how to be happy.

Ebbie: [she's being shown Ignorance and Poverty] Are they yours?
Ghost of Christmas Present: They belong to all of us... but they cling to me. The one is Ignorance... the other is Poverty. Beware them... they can destroy the world.
Ebbie: They're children... they need security and love! They need loving parents like my niece! Isn't there someone to care for them? Some place?
Ghost of Christmas Present: Aren't there orphanages? Aren't there shelters?

A Christmas Carol (1951)
Spirit of Christmas Present: So! Is your heart still unmoved towards us, then?
Ebenezer: I'm too old and beyond hope! Go and redeem some younger, more promising creature, and leave me to keep Christmas in my own way!
Spirit of Christmas Present: Mortal! We Spirits of Christmas do not live only one day of our year. We live the whole three-hundred and sixty-five. So is it true of the Child born in Bethlehem. He does not live in men's hearts one day of the year, but in all days of the year. You have chosen not to seek Him in your heart. Therefore, you will come with me and seek Him in the hearts of men of good will.

Spirit of Christmas Present: Come in! Come in, and know me better, man!

Spirit of Christmas Present: My time with you is at an end, Ebenezer Scrooge. Will you profit from what I've shown you of the good in most men's hearts?
Ebenezer: I don't know, how can I promise!
Spirit of Christmas Present: If it's too hard a lesson for you to learn, then learn this lesson!
[opens his robe, revealing two starving children]
Ebenezer: [shocked] Spirit, are these yours?
Spirit of Christmas Present: They are Man's. This boy is Ignorance, this girl is Want. Beware them both, but most of all, beware this boy!
Ebenezer: But have they no refuge, no resource?
Spirit of Christmas Present: [quoting Scrooge] Are there no prisons? Are there no workhouses?

Ebenezer: [at a homeless shelter where Alice is working] Spirit, are these people real, or are they shadows?
Spirit of Christmas Present: They are real. We are the shadows.
Ebenezer: Both of us?
Spirit of Christmas Present: Did you not cut yourself off from you fellow man when you lost the love of that delicate creature?

Spirit of Christmas Present: You've never seen the like of me before, have you?
Ebenezer: Never, and I wish the pleasure had been indefinitely postponed.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992)
Ebenezer Scrooge: You're a little absent-minded, spirit.
Ghost of Christmas Present: No, I'm a LARGE absent-minded spirit!

Ebenezer Scrooge: This is Bob Crachit's house?
Ghost of Christmas Present: How do you know that?
Ebenezer Scrooge: You just told me.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Well, I'm *usually* trustworthy.

Ebenezer Scrooge: I don't think I've ever met anybody like you before.
Ghost of Christmas Present: Really? Over 1800 of my brothers have come before me!
Ebenezer Scrooge: 1800? Imagine the grocery bills!

A Christmas Carol: The Musical (2004) (TV)
Ebenezer Scrooge: I didn't know Cratchit had a sick child.
Ghost of Christmas Present: He tried to tell you, you wouldn't listen.

Ebenezer Scrooge: What about Tiny Tim?
Ghost of Christmas Present: He'd be better to die and decrease the surplus population.
Ebenezer Scrooge: You mock me with my own words!

A Diva's Christmas Carol (2000) (TV)
[While watching Bob Cratchett talk on the phone to his ill son, Tim]
Ebony Scrooge: I had no idea Tim was sick.
Ghost of Christmas Present: You had no idea his name was Tim.

Ghost of Christmas Present: Are you going to come with me, or am I going to have to get nasty with you?
Ebony Scrooge: Don't you mean nastier?
Ghost of Christmas Present: I do.

Carry on Christmas (1969) (TV)
Spirit of Christmas Present: I am the spirit of Christmas Present.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Give away. It's the best Christmas present I ever had.

Spirit of Christmas Present: No, no, you just sit and behave while I tell you all your faults.
Ebenezer Scrooge: Yeah, well hurry up, cause I'm getting hot under the collar.
Spirit of Christmas Present: Well, there's two things that stick out a mile.
Ebenezer Scrooge: That's what's making me hot under the collar.

A Carol for Another Christmas (1964) (TV)
[the Ghost of Christmas Present gorges himself at a banquet table, while barbed wired keeps out starving refugees]
Daniel Grudge: How can you sit there and eat like that, when these people are starving?
Ghost of Christmas Present: Oh? Do they bother you?
[he snaps his fingers, the lights go out and the refugees disappear]
Ghost of Christmas Present: Feel better?

Scrooge (1935)
Spirit of Christmas Present: [Scrooge laughs while watching the Cratchits] You laugh?
Ebenezer Scrooge: Laugh? I envy them.

Surviving Christmas (2004)
Doo-Dah: [performing "A Christmas Carol" onstage] But how can we go? I'm liable to fall out the window.
Christmas Present: Then we go another way. We fly!
Doo-Dah: [cables are hoisting both up] Wedgie! Wedgie!

A Christmas Carol (1938)
Ebenezer Scrooge: Please let me stay!
Spirit of Christmas Present: Nonsense! You don't want to stay!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Yes, I do!
Spirit of Christmas Present: No! You don't like Christmas!
Ebenezer Scrooge: Yes! Yes I do! I like Christmas! I LOVE Christmas!

"The Angry Video Game Nerd: An Angry Nerd Christmas Carol: Part 2 (#2.22)" (2007)
The Angry Video Game Nerd: Who are you?
Ghost of Christmas Present: I'm the Ghost of Christmas Present, bitch.
The Angry Video Game Nerd: What do you want?
Ghost of Christmas Present: I just wanted to remind you of the fond memories you had with Super Nintendo. Remember Metroid, Zelda, Mario? You only choose to dwell on crap. You know what you're doing right now?
The Angry Video Game Nerd: Talking to you?
Ghost of Christmas Present: No, this is out of body, don't you get it? Right now, you're looking back at one of the worst games on the Super Nintendo.

A Christmas Carol (1999) (TV)
Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge: Is there no chance that boy will be spared?
The Ghost of Christmas Present: Not if the future remains unaltered. But so what if he dies? If he's going to do it he'd better do it quick and decrease the surplus population. If you be a man in your heart forbear that wicked cant until you've discovered what the surplus really is and where it is. Will you decided what men shall live, what men shall die? It may be that in the sight of Heaven you are more worthless and less fit to live than millions, like this poor man's child. Oh God, to hear the insect on the leaf pronouncing there is too much life among his hungry brothers in the dust!