Charlie Brown
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Quotes for
Charlie Brown (Character)
from A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) (TV)

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The Peanuts Movie (2015)
[from trailer]
[Charlie Brown stands up for himself until the music stops]
Charlie Brown: Huh?
[Snoopy pops in and waves at the audience as the theme song starts]
Charlie Brown: Hey!
Snoopy: Hehehe.
Charlie Brown: Snoopy!
[Snoopy walks away, then as Charlie Brown is about to say something in the audience, Snoopy jumps up in front of him]
Snoopy: Hahaha!
[He runs away, then he appeared on the right side]
Snoopy: Hehe!
[Snoopy spins around Charlie Brown, making him dizzy]
Charlie Brown: Woah, woah, woah! Woah.
Snoopy: Hahahahahahahaha!
Charlie Brown: Good grief.

[from trailer]
[Charlie Brown, carrying two buckets of popcorn, is blocking the screen]
Charlie Brown: Excuse me. Sorry.
Lucy van Pelt: Augh! Charlie Brown, you blockhead!
Charlie Brown: Wooah!
[He tries to get the popcorn bucket, but falls, then the other popcorn bucket fell inside his head. They all laugh, and Charlie Brown tries to take the popcorn bucket out of his head, but could not]
Charlie Brown: [sighs] Good grief.

Charlie Brown: [thinking] I just hope this new kid has never heard of me. He would know nothing of my past imperfections. It's not often you get the opportunity to start over with a clean slate. THis time things will be different.
[Charlie Brown falls down a piece of wood of a fence, then the whole fence collapsed down]
All: He did it!
[They all run away]

Charlie Brown: I can't believe I'm about to talk to the Little Red-Haired Girl.
[to Snoopy]
Charlie Brown: It's moments like this when you need your faithful friend.
[Charlie Brown walks up to the door, but hesitates and walks away. Snoopy goes after him and pushes him back to the doorway]
Charlie Brown: Yup. If there's one person you want at your side at a time like this, it's your loyal dog. Uhh... Uhhh... Ohhh.
[as he is about to ring a doorbell, he sighs, then Snoopy also sighs, then Snoopy rings the doorbell]
Charlie Brown: Aaaahhhhh!
Little Red-Haired Girl: [opening her front door to find no one here] Hello? Hello? Hmm.
Charlie Brown: [hiding in a tree bush] She said, "Hello!"
Snoopy: Ehh...

[as Charlie Brown takes a peek through his shades, Sally opens his shades]
Sally Brown: What are you looking at, big brother?
Charlie Brown: [Closing down his shades] Are you crazy?
Sally Brown: [as they are opening up and closing down his shades over and over again] Hey! I want to see!
Charlie Brown: Wooaah!
Sally Brown: Ohhh, you're in love.

Lucy van Pelt: Let me let you in on a little secret, Charlie Brown. If you really want to impress people, you need to show them you're a winner.
Charlie Brown: A winner? Me? Lucy, you may be on to something!
Lucy van Pelt: Of course, when I say "you", you know I don't mean "you personally".

Lucy van Pelt: Oh, Charlie Brown, I'll hold the football and you kick it.
Charlie Brown: You *say* you'll hold it, but what you really mean is you'll pull it away and I'll land flat on my back and I'll kill myself.
Lucy van Pelt: But I feel I have really come to know you. I now understand that you are kind, compassionate, brave, and funny. No one would pull a football away from someone with all *those* qualities.
Charlie Brown: [to himself] She's right. I would never pull a football away from someone with all *those* qualities. I am gonna kick this ball all the way to the moon.
[He starts running up and, as expected, Lucy pulls the football away from him]
Charlie Brown: AAUGH!
Lucy van Pelt: And gullible. I forgot to mention gullible.

Charlie Brown: It's going to be a long winter.

Charlie Brown: A dog doesn't try to give advice, or judge you; they just love you for who you are. It's nice to have someone who will just sit and listen to you.
Snoopy: Zzzzzzz...
Charlie Brown: Man's best friend.

Charlie Brown: [to the Little Red-Haired Girl] Hi, I'm Brown Charlie! I mean, Barney Clown!

Little Kid: [stammering] What are you in for?
[he scoots away]
Charlie Brown: Have you ever had that feeling when you can't stop smiling?
Little Kid: Huh?
Charlie Brown: Your heart pounds inside your chest? You try to stand, but your knees become weak?
[he falls; the little kid gasps]
Charlie Brown: And then that Little Red-Haired Girl glances at you
[he starts to float up, surrounded by hearts]
Little Kid: Whoa!
Charlie Brown: And all of life's possibilities become so clear. And then you realize...
[he falls back into the chair]
Little Kid: [flies out of his chair and falls on the scale] Ah!
Charlie Brown: ...she has no idea you're alive.
Nurse: Wah wah wah?
Charlie Brown: Why am I here?
[he sighs]
Charlie Brown: Because I just came down with a serious case of inadequacy.

Lucy van Pelt: [to Charlie Brown] Girls want someone with proven success. Have you won any awards? Like a Congressional Medal of Honor? Or a Nobel Peace Prize?
Charlie Brown: Uh...
Lucy van Pelt: What are your real estate holdings? Do you have a diversified portfolio?

Linus: You know, Charlie Brown, if you like her so much, why not just walk up to her and introduce yourself?
Charlie Brown: After the complete fool I made out of myself last night? Yeah, and why don't I just fly to the moon?

Charlie Brown: You know, I could really use a dance partner.
Sally Brown: [watching TV] Yeah, good luck with that.

Charlie Brown: These cupcakes don't look half-bad, if I do say so myself. This time, I've come totally prepared. I couldn't have done it without you, Snoopy. The old Charlie Brown would still be lying in bed with a stomachache.
[He realizes that Snoopy ate all the cupcakes]
Charlie Brown: Good grief.

Charlie Brown: You've got to help me, Linus! I'm not sure I can handle being partners with the Little Red-Haired Girl! How will I support her? I can't afford a mortgage! What if I'm put into escrow?
Linus: Charlie Brown, you're the only person I know who can turn a book report into a lifelong commitment.

Sally Brown: [leading a guided tour of Charlie Brown's house] And this is where it all began. As a youth, he passed many hours just sitting in that chair, keeping his deep thoughts to himself. And here we have his early kites, used in many aerodynamic studies. If we are lucky, we will see him in his natural habitat. And this is the actual bed where he lies and ponders life's greatest questions.
Charlie Brown: [waking up] Hey! What are you doing?
Sally Brown: I'm trying to cash in on your celebrity.

Charlie Brown: [noticing Sally surrounded by merchandise themed after his shirt] What are you up to *now*?
Sally Brown: Now that you're a big celebrity, I have to move fast. The fame that comes with intellectual superiority can be very fleeting. You have to cash in while you can.

Charlie Brown: Before I begin, I'd like to thank all of you for your support. You have all been so kind. It is not often that I get this sort of recognition. But... um, there's been a mistake. This is not my test.
Lucy van Pelt: [wearing a Charlie Brown shirt] HA! I knew it!
[sits down covering her shirt]

Charlie Brown: Whenever I feel really alone, I just sit and stare into the night sky. I've always thought that one of those stars was *my* star, and at moments like this, I know that *my* star will always be there for me. Like a comfortable voice saying, "Don't give up, kid."
[the star Charlie Brown is looking at literally falls from the sky]

Sally Brown: It's the last day of school! Well, big brother, can you believe it? My last day of school. No more reading, writing, arithmetic! No more learning forever!
Charlie Brown: What are you talking about? This is just the start of summer vacation. You have eight more years of grammar school, four more years of high school, plus four more years of college.
Sally Brown: [muttering while trying to do the math] Carry the one, over the extra one...
[out loud]
Sally Brown: That gives us 36 more years of school! I'll be bald and wrinkly by then!

[Linus and Charlie Brown are at the iconic brick wall]
Linus: Charlie Brown, where have you been? It's the first day of summer. You should be down there having fun with everyone else.
Charlie Brown: I can't stop thinking about it, Linus. After all the humiliating disasters she witnessed this year, why would she choose me? Was she feeling sorry for me? I don't want her to choose me just because she was feeling sorry for me. I have slightly more dignity than that.
Linus: Charlie Brown, it might be time to consider the wild possibility that you're a good person and that people like you. But you know, you'll never really know the answer, unless...
Charlie Brown: I just go up to talk to her! I should have listened to you all along!

Charlie Brown: The whole world seems to be conspiring against me. I'm just asking for a little help for once in my life.

Little Red-Haired Girl: Oh, hi, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: You remembered my name?
Little Red-Haired Girl: Of course I did.
Charlie Brown: Before you leave, there's something I really need to know. Why, out of all the kids in our class, would you want to be partners with me?
Little Red-Haired Girl: That's easy. It's because I've seen the type of person you are.
Charlie Brown: An insecure, wishy-washy failure?
Little Red-Haired Girl: That's not who you are at all. I like the compassion you showed for your sister at the talent show. The honesty you had at the assembly. And at the dance, you were brave yet funny. And what you did for me, doing the book report while I was away, was so sweet of you. So when I look at you, I don't see a failure at all. You have all the qualities I admire.
[bus horn honks]
Little Red-Haired Girl: Sorry, I have to go now.
Charlie Brown: Wait.
[gives her her pencil]
Charlie Brown: I think this belongs to you.
Little Red-Haired Girl: Oh, thank you! I've been looking everywhere for this!
[gets on the bus]
Little Red-Haired Girl: I'll write to you, pen pal.

[when he chooses a book-report partner name out of the bowl and reads it]
Charlie Brown: [in his thoughts, imagining] Little Red-Haired Girl. My lucky day! This changes everything. She will see the new me. And together, we'll win the gold star! After that, anything is possible. We could be the first kids to land on the moon!
Charlie Brown: [imagining himself as an astronaut] One small step for kids, one giant leap for Charlie Brown!
[suddenly, Miss Othmar says something and we see Charlie wearing the bowl as an astronaut helmet, the students laughing as he looks nervously at them]

Charlie Brown: You can't come to school Snoopy. Now be a good dog and go home.

Linus: It's my turn for show and tell today This is a model of the same plane flown by Manfred von Richthofen.
Charlie Brown: Who?
Linus: The Red Baron. The most famous aviator during the Great War.
Charlie Brown: It's not real is it?

Sally Brown: Hey! What's going on? Turn it down! Turn it down in there!
Snoopy, Sally Brown: Huh?
Charlie Brown: She likes to dance.
Sally Brown: Ugh!

Charlie Brown: She has a pretty face and pretty faces make me nervous.
Lucy van Pelt: Pretty face? Pretty face? I have a pretty face! How come my face doesn't make you nervous? How come you can talk to me Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: I just need to know the secret to winning her heart.

Charlie Brown: Stupid kite-eating tree! Good grief.

Charlie Brown: I don't care what Lucy says. I may have had troubles in the past, flying a kite. I may have never won a baseball game. But, it's not for the lack of trying!

Charlie Brown: My pitching has to improve if I come out here to my trusty mound every day. Charlie Brown is not a quitter!

Lucy van Pelt: Charlie Brown, what brings you out here so late in the day?
Charlie Brown: [sigh] I need your advice on girls, Lucy. You're a girl, right? Let's just say there's this girl I'd like to impress. But, she's something and I'm nothing. If I were something and she was nothing, I could talk to her. Or, if she was nothing and I was nothing, I could talk to her! But, she's something and I'm nothing. So I just can't talk to her.

A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965) (TV)
Sally: I've been looking for you, big brother. Will you please write a letter to Santa Claus for me?
Charlie Brown: Well, I don't have much time. I'm supposed to get down to the school auditorium to direct a Christmas play.
Sally: [hands a clipboard and pen to Charlie Brown] You write it and I'll tell you what I want to say.
Charlie Brown: [sticks pen in his mouth] Okay, shoot.
Sally: [dictating her letter to Santa Claus as Charlie Brown writes it for her] Dear Santa Claus, How have you been? Did you have a nice summer?
[Charlie Brown looks at her]
Sally: How is your wife? I have been extra good this year, so I have a long list of presents that I want.
Charlie Brown: Oh brother.
Sally: Please note the size and color of each item, and send as many as possible. If it seems too complicated, make it easy on yourself: just send money. How about tens and twenties?
Charlie Brown: TENS AND TWENTIES? Oh, even my baby sister!
Sally: All I want is what I... I have coming to me. All I want is my fair share.

Lucy Van Pelt: You DO think I'm beautiful, don't you, Charlie Brown?
Lucy Van Pelt: You didn't answer me right away. You had to think about it first, didn't you? If you really had thought I was beautiful, you would've spoken right up. I know when I've been insulted. I KNOW WHEN I'VE BEEN INSULTED.
Charlie Brown: Good grief.

Lucy Van Pelt: Are you afraid of responsibility? If you are, then you have hypengyophobia.
Charlie Brown: I don't think that's quite it.
Lucy Van Pelt: How about cats? If you're afraid of cats, you have ailurophasia.
Charlie Brown: Well, sort of, but I'm not sure.
Lucy Van Pelt: Are you afraid of staircases? If you are, then you have climacaphobia. Maybe you have thalassophobia. This is fear of the ocean, or gephyrobia, which is the fear of crossing bridges. Or maybe you have pantophobia. Do you think you have pantophobia?
Charlie Brown: What's pantophobia?
Lucy Van Pelt: The fear of everything.
Charlie Brown: THAT'S IT!
[Lucy goes flying out into a field of snow]

Charlie Brown: Thanks for the Christmas card you sent me, Violet.
Violet: I didn't send you a Christmas card, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: Don't you know sarcasm when you hear it?

Charlie Brown: I guess you were right, Linus. I shouldn't have picked this little tree. Everything I do turns into a disaster. I guess I really don't know what Christmas is all about.
[shouting in desperation]
Charlie Brown: Isn't there anyone who knows what Christmas is all about?
Linus Van Pelt: Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about.
[moves toward the center of the stage]
Linus Van Pelt: Lights, please.
[a spotlight shines on Linus]
Linus Van Pelt: "And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not:"
[Linus drops his security blanket on purpose]
Linus Van Pelt: "for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"
[Luke 2:8-14 KJV]
Linus Van Pelt: [Linus picks up his blanket and walks back towards Charlie Brown] That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

Lucy Van Pelt: I know how you feel about all this Christmas business, getting depressed and all that. It happens to me every year. I never get what I really want. I always get a lot of stupid toys or a bicycle or clothes or something like that.
Charlie Brown: What is it you want?
Lucy Van Pelt: Real estate.

Charlie Brown: [Yells into mailbox] Hello in there.
[looks away and soon begins to walk]
Charlie Brown: Rats. Nobody sent me a Christmas card today. I almost wish there weren't a holiday season. I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?

Lucy Van Pelt: Here he comes! Attention, everyone, here's our director.
[Charlie Brown enters, while everyone applauds]
Snoopy: Whoooooooooooooooooooooo.
Charlie Brown: [sarcastically] Man's best friend.

Charlie Brown: Look, let's rehearse the scene at the inn. Frieda...
Frieda: I can't go on, there's too much dust. It's taking the curl out of my naturally curly hair.
Charlie Brown: Don't think of it as dust. Think of it as maybe the soil of some great past civilization. Maybe the soil of ancient Babylon. It staggers the imagination. He may be carrying soil that was trod upon by Solomon, or even Nebuchudnezzar.
Pig-Pen: Sort of makes you want to treat me with more respect, doesn't it?
Frieda: You're an absolute mess. Just look at yourself.
Pig-Pen: [looks at himself in Frieda's mirror and smiles] On the contrary, I didn't think I looked THAT good.

Charlie Brown: Pig-Pen, you're the only person I know who can raise a cloud of dust in a snowstorm.

[Linus knocks on an aluminum Christmas tree, which gives a metallic "clank"]
Linus Van Pelt: This really brings Christmas close to a person.
Charlie Brown: [gazes in amazement] Fantastic.

[Charlie Brown hangs an ornament on the tree; it bends over]
Charlie Brown: I've killed it. Oh! Everything I touch gets ruined.

[Charlie Brown and Linus return with the puny little tree]
Violet: Boy, are you stupid, Charlie Brown.
Patty: What kind of a tree is that?
Lucy Van Pelt: You were supposed to get a *good* tree. Can't you even tell a good tree from a poor tree?
Violet: I told you he'd goof it up. He isn't the kind you can depend on to do anything right.
Patty: You're hopeless, Charlie Brown.
Frieda: Completely hopeless
Charlie Brown: [upset] Rats!
Lucy Van Pelt: You've been dumb before, Charlie Brown, but this time, you really did it.
[pause; then everyone bursts out laughing]
Lucy Van Pelt: [laughing] What a tree!

Linus Van Pelt: [after Linus and Charlie Brown discover the little tree] Gee, do they still make wooden Christmas trees?
Charlie Brown: This little green one here seems to need a home.
Linus Van Pelt: I don't know, Charlie Brown. Remember what Lucy said? This doesn't seem to fit the modern spirit.
Charlie Brown: I don't care. We'll decorate it and it'll be just right for our play. Besides, I think it needs me.
[picks up tree; a lot of needles fall off]

[first lines]
Charlie Brown: [Charlie Brown and Linus stop at a wall on their trip to the pond for ice skating] I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Christmas is coming, but I'm not happy. I don't feel the way I'm supposed to feel.
[begins to walk with Linus again]
Charlie Brown: I just don't understand Christmas, I guess. I like getting presents and sending Christmas cards and decorating trees and all that, but I'm still not happy. I always end up feeling depressed.
Linus Van Pelt: Charlie Brown, you're the only person I know who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem. Maybe Lucy's right. Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest.

[repeated line]
Charlie Brown: What's going on here?

Charlie Brown: Actually, Lucy, my trouble is Christmas. I just don't understand it. Instead of feeling happy, I feel sort of let down.
Lucy Van Pelt: You need involvement. You'll need to get involved in some real Christmas project. How would you like to be the director of our Christmas play?
Charlie Brown: [lighting up excitedly] Me? You want *me* to be the director of the Christmas play?

Charlie Brown: Stop the music! All right now, we're going to do this play, and we're going to do it right. Lucy, get those costumes and scripts and pass them out. Now the script girl will be handing out your parts.

Lucy Van Pelt: May I help you?
Charlie Brown: I'm in bad shape.
Lucy Van Pelt: Wait a minute. Before we begin, I request that you pay in advance. Five cents, please.
[Charlie Brown drops a nickel on the can]
Lucy Van Pelt: Boy, what a sound! How I love the sound of clinking money! That beautiful sound of cold hard cash! Nickels, nickels, nickels! That beautiful sound of clinking nickels!

Charlie Brown: Sally, come here.
Linus Van Pelt: What do you want her for?
Charlie Brown: She's gonna be your wife.
[Sally is seen surrounded by hearts and clapping her hands in glee]
Linus Van Pelt: Good grief.
Sally: Isn't he the cutest thing?
[Linus hides himself under his blanket]
Sally: He has the nicest sense of humor.

Happy New Year, Charlie Brown (1986) (TV)
Linus van Pelt: How are you doing with "War and Peace", Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: I've just finished reading the dust jacket.
Linus van Pelt: Many is the book report that has been written by just reading the dust jacket.

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Have you made any New Year's resolutions, Chuck?
Charlie Brown: Yes. You know how I always dread the whole year? Well, this time I'm only going to dread one day at a time.

Charlie Brown: [just before closing "War and Peace"] Well, here I am reading "War and Peace", and everybody else is at dance class having fun. Maybe I should go over to the class and just look in, and see what they're all doing.

Charlie Brown: [in bed, the night before New Year's Eve] Tomorrow night's party. The Little Red-Haired Girl never answered my letter.
[closes his eyes briefly, then opens them again]
Charlie Brown: What a way to start a new year. Tomorrow night, millions of people will be going to parties and dressing up.
[Snoopy and Woodstock appear at the window, dressed in top hats and tuxes; they tip their hats to him, then leave]
Charlie Brown: Some are even ready a day ahead of time.

[last lines]
Linus van Pelt: Did you turn in your report?
Charlie Brown: [aghast] Yes.
Linus van Pelt: What did the teacher say about it? What grade did you get?
Charlie Brown: A D minus - the lowest grade without failing.
Linus van Pelt: Gee, I'm sorry, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: The teacher said it looked like the sort of report that was written after midnight on the last day of Christmas vacation.
Linus van Pelt: What did you say?
Charlie Brown: What *could* I say? I congratulated her on her remarkable insight.
Linus van Pelt: Did you see what our next assignment is?
Charlie Brown: [lightens up] No! What is it?
Linus van Pelt: To read "Crime and Punishment" by Dostoevsky.
[Charlie Brown faints off his desk]
Linus van Pelt: Happy New Year, Charlie Brown.

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: It's been a great year, Chuck. You'll have to admit that. What you do think, Chuck, would be good rules for living in the new year?
Charlie Brown: Keep the ball low, don't leave your crayons in the sun, use dental floss every day, don't spill the shoe polish, always knock before entering, don't let the ants get in the sugar, never volunteer to be a program chairman, always get your first serve in, and feed your dog whenever he's hungry.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Will those rules give me a better life, Chuck?
Charlie Brown: The better life, and a fat dog.

Linus van Pelt: Gee, Charlie Brown, I didn't know where you went. But wow, your friend is sure a good dancer!
Charlie Brown: You mean *she* was *here*? The Little Red-Haired Girl was here? And I missed her?

Charlie Brown: [after his hand gets stuck inside the mail slot at the little red-haired girl's house] Hello? Hello? Heather, are you home? I've come to invite you to a New Year's party! I mean - I mean if you don't have anything else to do. Would you - would you like to come? I can either pick you up or, or meet you there, if I ever get my hand out of this mailbox. I can't stand it. I just can't stand it.

Linus van Pelt: When Leo Tolstoy was writing "War and Peace", his wife, Sonya, copied it for him seven times. And she did it by *candlelight*, *and* with a dip pen. And sometimes, she had to use a magnifying glass to make out what he had written.
Charlie Brown: Linus, I really...
Linus van Pelt: Had to do it after their child had been put to bed, and the servants had gone to their garrets, and it was quiet in the house. Just think, Charlie Brown: she wrote the book seven times with a dip pen. And you're telling me you can't even read it once?

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Chuck, how could you do this to me? When midnight came along, I was the only one standing all alone!
Charlie Brown: [stammering] I uh, I...
Sally Brown: Big brother, my sweet babboo didn't dance with me at midnight! And do you know why?
Charlie Brown: [continuing to stammer] Well, uh, I uh...
Sally Brown: 'Cause he danced with *your* friend, the Little Red-Haired Girl!
Charlie Brown: [bewildered] He did what?

Charlie Brown: [entering the New Year's Eve party with "War and Peace"] Hi. Could I come in?
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: [approaching him] I thought you had to study.
Charlie Brown: Well, I thought I could read some of it here.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Come on, Chuck. Admit it, you sly dog.
[closing the door]
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: You wanted to start the new year with me.
Charlie Brown: Well... I was kind of hoping the Little Red-Haired Girl would show up.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Chuck, you drive me crazy!
Marcie: C'mon, sir, everybody is ready for musical chairs.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Okay, okay, let's get started.
Charlie Brown: Can I play?
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Oh, I guess so, Chuck. Come on.

Linus van Pelt: Hurry up, Charlie Brown, we'll be late for school.
[he and Charlie Brown get on their way, with Charlie yawning after finishing "War and Peace"]
Linus van Pelt: Did you finish "War and Peace", Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: I finished at 3 o'clock this morning.
Linus van Pelt: How did you like it, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: I don't remember a thing.

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Hey Chuck, that was a sly move on your part. You know, to get us out here alone on New Year's Eve.
Charlie Brown: Huh?
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Yep. We might even end up ushering in the new year together. I'll bet you'd like that, Eh, Chuck?
Charlie Brown: Hm...

Charlie Brown: [picking up the phone] Hello?
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Hiya, Chuck, this is Peppermint Patty. Have you thought any more about who you're inviting to the party, Chuck?
Charlie Brown: No, I haven't thought about that. I'm reading "War and Peace".
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Aha, I knew it would be me!
Charlie Brown: Well, as a matter of fact, I'm only on page five of my book.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Come on Chuck, remember: you have to invite *somebody*.
Charlie Brown: Well, I suppose you're right.
[lighting up]
Charlie Brown: I wonder if that Little Red-Haired Girl would go with me?
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: What?
Charlie Brown: Do you think she would?
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: So long forever, Chuck!
[hangs up angrily]

Lucy van Pelt: [pouring root beer] Come on, Charlie Brown, it's almost midnight. I'll pour you root beer.
Charlie Brown: Thank you, Lucy. I've decided next year, I'm going to be a *changed* person.
Lucy van Pelt: Oh, be serious, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: No, I mean it. I'm going to be strong and firm.
Lucy van Pelt: Forget it, Charlie Brown. You'll always be wishy-washy.
[Snoopy starts sniffing her root beer]
Charlie Brown: Why can't I change just a little bit? I've *got* it! I'll be wishy one day, washy the next.
Lucy van Pelt: [as Snoopy continues sniffing her root beer until Lucy turns to him] Charlie Brown, I have news for you: you will never... you sniffed in my root beer!
[turning to Charlie Brown]
Lucy van Pelt: Your stupid beagle sniffed in my root beer! Look at that! I'll bet it's full of dog germs! Where are my binoculars?
[she pours the root beer into a dish, then examines it with binoculars]
Lucy van Pelt: Aha! I thought so!
[returning to Charlie Brown and Snoopy with the dish of root beer]
Lucy van Pelt: You see, it's filled with dog germs!
[walks away]
Charlie Brown: That's one thing you should never do. Never sniff in someone's root beer.

Lucy van Pelt: Boy, we were just with Marcie. There's gonna be a great New Year's party!
Sally Brown: It's boy-ask-girl, and I just *know* my sweet baboo will ask me.
Linus van Pelt: I am not your sweet baboo, and I wouldn't invite you to a chicken race!
Sally Brown: Isn't he the cutest thing?
Lucy van Pelt: And I expect a certain piano player to ask *me*.
Charlie Brown: But I've got this book report to do.
Lucy van Pelt: I'm enrolling us in a dance class. A New Year's party is not a party without lots of dancing.

Charlie Brown: I've written an invitation to the Little Red-Haired Girl. I was afraid to call her. It's too late to mail it, so I thought I'd take it to her house, but I'm worried.
Linus van Pelt: Why? All you have to do is slip the letter into the mail slot in the front door of the house.
Charlie Brown: But what if my hand gets caught in the mail slot?
Linus van Pelt: That's ridiculous, Charlie Brown!
Charlie Brown: Well then, what if my hand gets caught in the mail slot, and while I'm hanging there, someone opens the door?
Linus van Pelt: Charlie Brown, you worry about the most impossible things.

[first lines]
Charlie Brown: [voiceover] Oh boy, only one more minute till Christmas vacation starts, and the teacher hasn't given us any assignments over the holidays.
[we hear warbling, which is really Miss Othmar; Charlie Brown now groans]
Charlie Brown: Oh, no!

A Boy Named Charlie Brown (1969)
[at the spelling bee]
Charlie Brown: Fussbudget, F-U-S-S-B-U-D-G-E-T, Fussbudget.
[the Peanuts gang watching the spelling bee on TV]
Lucy Van Pelt: Hey! How'd he know that word?

Charlie Brown: [thinking] Well, we lost the first game of the season again. I know it shouldn't bother me, but it does. We always seem to lose the first game of the season and the last game of the season.
[pause, then yells to the sky]
Charlie Brown: And all those stupid games in between!

Linus Van Pelt: You know, Charlie Brown, they say we learn more from losing than from winning.
Charlie Brown: Then that must make me the smartest person in the world.

Linus Van Pelt: Life is difficult, isn't it, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: Yes, it is. But I've developed a new philosophy. I only dread one day at a time.

Charlie Brown: I'm dying, and all I hear are insults!

Linus Van Pelt: Here, run over to the drinking fountain and soak this handkerchief in cold water.
[Lucy skeptically examines the handkerchief]
Lucy Van Pelt: You're kidding. With a head like Charlie Brown's, you'll need a bedsheet.
Charlie Brown: I'm dying! And all I hear are insults!

Linus Van Pelt: Well, I can understand how you feel. You worked hard, studying for the spelling bee, and I suppose you feel you let everyone down, and you made a fool of yourself and everything. But did you notice something, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: What's that?
Linus Van Pelt: The world didn't come to an end.

Charlie Brown: This pitcher's mound is covered with dandelions!
Frieda: Don't touch them Charlie Brown! Don't you dare hurt all those innocent dandelions! They're beautiful! Don't you dare cut them down!
Lucy Van Pelt: Besides... you may not know this, but you look kind of cute standing there surrounded by dandelions.
Charlie Brown: I don't want to look cute!

Charlie Brown: I've never gone through anything like that in my life. I never knew I could be so stupid. I never knew I had so many faults. I never felt so completely miserable.
Lucy Van Pelt: Wait until you get my bill.

Charlie Brown: [At the bus stop departing for the national spelling bee] This whole thing makes me feel as though I'm being drafted.

Schroeder: Alright, Charlie Brown, let's get our signals straight. One finger will mean the high straight ball, and two fingers will mean the low straight ball.
Charlie Brown: What about my curveball? And my slider? And my knuckleball? And my sidearm? And my submarine pitch?
Schroeder: One finger will mean the high straight ball, and two fingers will mean the low straight ball.
[Charlie Brown grimaces]

Charlie Brown: Why can't I have an ordinary dog like everyone else?

Linus Van Pelt: You look like you've been through shock treatment or something.
Charlie Brown: What's more shocking than having your faults projected on a screen?

[first lines]
Lucy Van Pelt: Aren't the clouds beautiful? They look like big balls of cotton. I could just lie here all day and watch them drift by. If you use your imagination, you can see lots of things in the cloud's formations. What do you think you see, Linus?
Linus Van Pelt: Well, those clouds up there look to me look like the map of the British Honduras on the Caribbean.
[points up]
Linus Van Pelt: That cloud up there looks a little like the profile of Thomas Eakins, the famous painter and sculptor. And that group of clouds over there...
Linus Van Pelt: me the impression of the Stoning of Stephen. I can see the Apostle Paul standing there to one side.
Lucy Van Pelt: Uh huh. That's very good. What do you see in the clouds, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: Well... I was going to say I saw a duckie and a horsie, but I changed my mind.

Charlie Brown: I think these psychiatrist visits are gonna bankrupt me.

Charlie Brown: [after he refuses Lucy's suggestion to pitch a bean ball, and the whole team gathers at the mound talking over one another about morality and other things] We never win any ball games, but we sure have some interesting discussions.

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving (1973) (TV)
Charlie Brown: We've got ANOTHER holiday to worry about. It seems Thanksgiving Day is upon us.
Sally Brown: I haven't even finished eating all of my Halloween candy!
Linus van Pelt: Sally, Thanksgiving is a very important holiday. Ours was the first country in the world to make a national holiday to give thanks.
Sally Brown: [to Charlie Brown] Isn't he the cutest thing?

Linus van Pelt: What are you going to do on Thanksgiving, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: My mother and dad, and Sally and I are all going to my grandmother's for dinner.
Sally Brown: Why don't you come along, Linus? We can hold hands under the table.
Linus van Pelt: Blah.

[after singing "Over the River and Through the Woods to Grandmother's House We Go"]
Charlie Brown: Well, there's only one thing wrong with that.
Linus van Pelt: What's that, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: My grandmother lives in a condominium.

Marcie: He's all yours, Priscilla.
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: Priscilla?
Charlie Brown: Priscilla?

Sally Brown: What's the matter, big brother?
Charlie Brown: Nothing. I was just checking the mailbox.
Sally Brown: What did you expect, a turkey card?

Charlie Brown: Holidays always depress me.
Sally Brown: I know what you mean. I went down to buy a turkey tree and all they have are things for Christmas.
Charlie Brown: For Christmas, already?

Charlie Brown: I can't cook a Thanksgiving dinner. All I can make is cold cereal and maybe toast.
Linus van Pelt: That's right. I've seen you make toast. You can't butter it, but maybe we can help you. Snoopy, you go out to the garage and make a table we can set up in the backyard.

Marcie: Don't feel bad, Chuck. Peppermint Patty didn't mean all those things she said. Actually, she really likes you.
Charlie Brown: I don't feel bad for myself; I just feel bad because I ruined everyone's Thanksgiving.
Marcie: But Thanksgiving is more than eating, Chuck. You heard what Linus was saying out there. Those early Pilgrims were thankful for what had happened to them, and we should be thankful, too. We should just be thankful for being together. I think that's what they mean by 'Thanksgiving,' Charlie Brown.

Sally Brown: Do you know what we have to do? We have to write an essay on Stanley Miles.
Charlie Brown: You mean Miles Standish.
Sally Brown: I can't keep track of all those names.

[first lines]
Lucy van Pelt: [holding football] Charlie Brown! Oh, Charlie Brown!
Charlie Brown: I can't believe it. She must think I'm the most stupid person alive.
Lucy van Pelt: Come on, Charlie Brown. I'll hold the ball and you kick it.
Charlie Brown: Hold it? Ha! You'll pull it away and I'll land flat on my back and kill myself.
Lucy van Pelt: But Charlie Brown, it's Thanksgiving.
Charlie Brown: What's that got to do with anything?
Lucy van Pelt: Well, one of the greatest traditions we have is the Thanksgiving Day football game. And the biggest, most important tradition of all is the kicking off of the football.
Charlie Brown: Is that right?
Lucy van Pelt: Absolutely. Come on, Charlie Brown. It's a big honor for you.
Charlie Brown: Well, if it's that important, a person should never turn down a big honor. Maybe I *should* do it. Besides, she wouldn't try to trick me on a traditional holiday. This time I'm gonna kick that football clear to the moon!
[he runs to kick the ball, but Lucy pulls it away]
Charlie Brown: Aaauuugh!
[falls flat on his back]
Lucy van Pelt: Isn't it peculiar, Charlie Brown, how some traditions just slowly fade away?

Charlie Brown: [after Snoopy and Woodstock accidentally shoot Snoopy's rifle] Come on, Snoopy, we don't have any time for this playing around. The guests will be here pretty soon, so please get ready to help serve them.
[Snoopy sighs a martyred sigh]

Charlie Brown: Good grief, it's four o'clock! We're supposed to be at grandmother's house for Thanksgiving by 4:30.
[starts dialing on a nearby phone]
Charlie Brown: I'd better talk to her and explain my dilemma.

Charlie Brown: [after getting off the phone with Peppermint Patty for the third time] I think I'm losing control of the whole world.
[hangs up the phone]
Linus van Pelt: *Now* what's wrong?
Charlie Brown: Now she's bringing Franklin, too. Peppermint Patty's invited herself, Marcie, and Franklin over for Thanksgiving dinner. And I'm not even going to be home. I'm going to be at my grandmother's.
Linus van Pelt: Why don't you just call her back and explain it to her?
Charlie Brown: You can't explain anything to Peppermint Patty because you never get to say anything. I'm doomed. Three guests for Thanksgiving, and I'm not even going to be home. Peppermint Patty will hate me for the rest of my life.

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: [entering the living room with Marcie] Apologies accepted, Chuck ole boy?
Charlie Brown: Sure.
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: There's enough problems in the world already, Chuck, without these stupid misunderstandings. Let's not play lovers' games, Chuck.
Charlie Brown: [as he and Peppermint Patty shake hands] I agree.

It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown (1992) (TV)
Charlie Brown: Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?
Violet: It's not even Thanksgiving yet. By the time Christmas comes, all the needles will be falling off.
Charlie Brown: Don't hang it near the turkey.

Charlie Brown: Good morning, this is a Christmas wreath.
Frieda: [snatches wreath away from Charlie Brown] Thank you, I love samples.

Charlie Brown: [on the phone] Sally thinks someone named Harold Angel is going to sing for her.
Charlie Brown: [doorbell rings] Excuse me, somebody's at the door.
[Charlie Brown opens the door]
Harold Angel: Hi, is Sally home? My name is Herold Angel.

Charlie Brown: Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?
Patty: It isn't even Thanksgiving yet.
Charlie Brown: Would you like to buy a Thanksgiving wreath?

Peppermint Patty: Guess what, Chuck. Disaster time. Our teacher wants us to read a book during Christmas vacation. Got any suggestions?
Charlie Brown: On what book to read?
Peppermint Patty: No! On how to get out of it!

Sally Brown: How do you spell your name?
Charlie Brown: I'm your brother, and you don't even know how to spell my name?
Sally Brown: I'll put down "Sam". I know how to spell that.

Charlie Brown: I want to buy Peggy Jean a nice pair of gloves for Christmas, but they cost $25.
Sally Brown: She's going to be dissappointed when she finds out that her boyfriend is a cheapskate.
Charlie Brown: I'm not a cheapskate, I just don't have $25.
Sally Brown: Put it on your credit card.
Charlie Brown: I don't have a credit card.
Sally Brown: So long, Peggy Jean.

Lucy Van Pelt: Where are you going to get $25?
Charlie Brown: That's the problem.
Lucy Van Pelt: Maybe you can sell your dog.
[Snoopy blows a raspberry]
Lucy Van Pelt: I take it back. He's probably only worth 50 cents.

Peppermint Patty: Hey, Chuck, did Mary ever wear glasses?
Peppermint Patty: What do you mean "Mary Who"? In the Bible! Does it say anything about Mary wearing glasses?
Peppermint Patty: Then how come Marcie played Mary instead of me? And the teacher says I have to play a sheep!
Charlie Brown: Why can't I ever be a wrong number?

Sally Brown: I live in mortal dread of getting out on stage and forgetting what I am to say.
Charlie Brown: Well, if you did, you could always make up something.
Sally Brown: That's true. How about "Hey"?
Charlie Brown: Not very Biblical.

Sally Brown: This is the line I have to say in the Christmas play. See if I get it right.
[hands Charlie Brown the script]
Sally Brown: Hark!
Charlie Brown: You got it. I've always wondered how actors remember all those lines.

Charlie Brown: Why can't I ever be a wrong number?

[as Charlie Brown is selling Christmas wreaths door-to-door]
Charlie Brown: [to an adult] Good morning, sir. Would you like to buy a nice Christmas wreath?
[the homeowner slams the door in Charlie Brown's face sending both him and the wreath flying backwards into the snow]
Charlie Brown: [after spitting out snow] Merry Christmas anyway, sir. "God bless us, everyone," said Tiny Tim, the last of all, "and joy to the world!"
Charlie Brown: [picks up the wreath and heads home] Rats!

[Sally and Charlie Brown are selling Christmas wreaths door-to-door]
Sally Brown: [to customer] Good morning, ask your mom if she would like to buy a Christmas wreath. Tell her they were made from the famous forests of Lebanon. You can read about him in the second chapter of the second book of "Chronicles". If you buy two, we'll throw in an autographed photo of King Solomon.
Charlie Brown: [to Sally; as they walk to the next house] You can't tell people these wreaths were made from the forests of Lebanon! That's lying!
[the two arrive at the next house as Sally rings the doorbell]
Sally Brown: [rudely] Good morning. Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath made from some junky old branches my brother found in a Christmas tree lot? You wouldn't, would you? I can't say I blame you.
Sally Brown: [to Charlie Brown; after the customers slams the door] See? Your way doesn't work either!
[fade to Sally and Snoopy contemplating how to sell the wreaths]
Sally Brown: [to Snoopy] I think we need better packaging: we need a better way to show off our product.
[cut to Sally and Snoopy selling wreaths door-to-door; Snoopy is wearing the wreath on his nose]
Sally Brown: [to the customer] Good morning, would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?

Bon Voyage, Charlie Brown (and Don't Come Back!!) (1980)
British ticket agent: Passport, please.
Charlie Brown: Y-Yes, sir. We're just passing through. We're on our way to France, sir. I have nothing to declare, sir. I throw myself at the mercy of the court!
Linus: We've only been two minutes and already he's embarrassing us.

Charlie Brown: Good bye, everybody! Take care of the old ball field, Schroeder, I'm going to miss it.
Sally: The last time you went away, big brother, your team won three games in a row.

Peppermint Patty: [Charlie Brown nibbles a bit on his eraser] Don't chew on your eraser, Chuck. It bugs me.
[Charlie Brown drums his fingers on the desk]
Peppermint Patty: Stop drumming your fingers on the desk, Chuck. That grosses me out.
[Charlie Brown sighs]
Peppermint Patty: And don't hassle me with your sighs, Chuck.
[Charlie Brown breathes through his mouth and licks his fingers while turning a page]
Peppermint Patty: Don't breathe through your mouth, Chuck. Don't lick your fingers when you turn the pages, Chuck.
[Charlie Brown is starting to get angry]
Peppermint Patty: And don't scrap your feet on the desk.
Charlie Brown: [shouting - finally had enough - his shouting knocks Peppermint Patty off her seat] WILL YOU STOP CRITICIZING ME?

Teacher: How many times does 25 go into 75?
Peppermint Patty: I'm awake! I'm awake! The answer is 12!
Teacher: No, that is not correct.
Peppermint Patty: The answer is 6!
Charlie Brown: 3!
Teacher: 3 is correct.
Peppermint Patty: You contradicted me, Chuck! You made a fool out of me in front of the whole class.
Charlie Brown: Well 6 was the wrong answer. I had to say 3.
Peppermint Patty: You don't like me do you, Chuck?

Peppermint Patty: False! Why did you put down false, Chuck? The answer is true, Chuck! What's true is true! Put down true, Chuck, or I'll never speak to you again.
Teacher: Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: Ma'am?
Teacher: Is your partner giving you the answers?
Charlie Brown: Oh no, ma'am. She's not giving me the answers. Forcing, maybe, but not giving.

Peppermint Patty: If you know an answer, Chuck, and I don't, you tell me what it is. If I know an answer and you don't, I'll tell you what it is.
Charlie Brown: What happens if neither of us knows the answer?
Peppermint Patty: We'll punt!

Charlie Brown: I'm worried about the Baron. Pierre said that he was a very mean man.

Charlie Brown: I don't have any idea what you're talking about, all I know is we had a terrible time. There was no one there to meet us, we got caught in the rain, the lightning scared us half to death, and we spent the night sleeping at the stable at the chateau.

[Charlie Brown & Co. are at an English restaurant, waited upon by a waiter with a thick Cockney accent]
Waiter: All right Guv'nor, you ready to order?
Charlie Brown: Can you help us with the menu?
Waiter: For the gentlemen, I recommend the beef & kidney pie. The shepherds pie's rather nice for the ladies. A cheddar & pickle sandwich is rather toppo. What'll be your pleasure, mate?
Charlie Brown: What is...
[to Marcie]
Charlie Brown: What did he say?
Marcie: Perhaps I should have studied *English*, not French.

Linus: [Violette runs and accidentally knocks the candle, setting the chateau on fire] Aaugh!
[Linus grabs Violette and runs to the window]
Linus: Help! Help, help! Help! Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown! Help, please! Help, help, help! Charlie Brown! Help! Help! Help, help!
[Charlie Brown wakes up]
Linus: Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown! Help! Help! Fire! Charlie Brown! Help, help! Fire!
Charlie Brown: Help! Help!
Linus: Help! Help!
The Baron: Au secours! Au secours!
Charlie Brown: [Charlie runs] Fire! Help! Fire!
The Baron: Au secours! Au secours!
Charlie Brown: Fire, help! Fire! Help! Help! Fire!
[runs to the cafe for Snoopy and Woodstock]
Charlie Brown: Help! Fire at the chateau! Fire, fire! Help! Fire!
[Snoopy and Woodstock opens the door]
Charlie Brown: The chateau! Fire, help! Help! Help!
[heads to Pierre's house as Snoopy and Woodstock runs to the shed to get the hose]
Charlie Brown: Help, help! Help! Fire at the chateau! Fire, fire! Help!
[runs up to Pierre's house]
Charlie Brown: Fire, fire! Help! Fire! The chateau! Fire, fire! Help! The chateau! Fire, fire, fire!
[Pierre, Marcie and Peppermint Patty come out]
Charlie Brown: Somebody, help! The chateau is on fire! Somebody save the chateau! Fire, fire!
[runs off]
Pierre: [to Patty and Marcie] I must call the pompier!
[Marcie and Peppermint Patty runs off]

Charlie Brown, Peppermint Patty, Marcie: Jump, Linus, jump!
Pierre: [runs up] The pompier are on the way, is Linus safe?
Charlie Brown, Peppermint Patty, Marcie: Jump, jump! Jump Linus, jump!
Linus: [to Violette] Jump? Are they crazy?

Charlie Brown: [pounding on the chateau's door in a horrible lightning storm] I can't believe it! There's no one home! Why would they invite us clear over here, and then not be home?

Pierre: Nobody go to the Chateau of the Bad Neighbor, the Baron is recluse and hates everybody! He do not allow visitors.
Charlie Brown: Then why did they invite us? See? I got a letter from V. Honfleur, she invited us!
Pierre: Violette? She's a ward of the Baron's, if she invited you, the Baron does not know about it. The Baron do not invite anyone. The Baron is a very violent person. He hates everybody.
Linus: That doesn't make sense. Why did she invite you, Charlie Brown?

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown (1966) (TV)
[repeated line]
Charlie Brown: I got a rock.

Charlie Brown: Hey! I got an invitation to a Halloween party!
[dances happily]
Lucy Van Pelt: Is the invitation to Violet's party, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: Yes. It's the first time I've been invited to a party.
Lucy Van Pelt: Charlie Brown, if you got an invitation, it was a mistake. There were two lists, Charlie Brown: one to invite, and one not to invite. You must have been put on the wrong list.

Sally Brown: Do I get to go trick-or-treating with you, big brother?
Charlie Brown: Sure, Sally.
Sally Brown: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! How do we do it?
Lucy Van Pelt: All you have to do is walk up to a house, ring the doorbell, and say "tricks or treats."
Sally Brown: Are you sure it's legal?
Lucy Van Pelt: Of course it's legal.
Sally Brown: I wouldn't want to be accused of taking part in a rumble.

Violet: Charlie Brown, you'll have to model for us.
Charlie Brown: Me? You want me to model?
Patty: Sure, Charlie Brown. You'll be the perfect model.
Lucy Van Pelt: Turn him around.
Violet: [Drawing on the back of Charlie Brown's head] If we shape the eyes like this, and the nose like this, and the mouth like this...
Lucy Van Pelt: [Drawing the same thing on a pumpkin] Yes, that's the way! Thank you, Charlie Brown. You were a perfect model.
[Charlie Brown turns red in anger]

Linus: [to Charlie Brown after Sally just ripped him a new one] You've heard of the fury of a woman scorned, haven't you?
Charlie Brown: Yeah, I guess I have.
Linus: Well, that's nothing compared to the fury of a woman who has been cheated out of trick-or-treats.

Lucy Van Pelt: What kind of costume is that?
Charlie Brown: He's a World War I flying ace.
Lucy Van Pelt: Now I've seen everything. All right everybody, we'll go trick-or-treating, and then over to Violet's for the big Halloween party.

[last lines]
Charlie Brown: Well, another Halloween has come and gone.
Linus: Yes, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: I don't understand it. I went trick-or-treating and all I got was a bag full of rocks. I suppose you spent all night in the pumpkin patch.
[Linus nods]
Charlie Brown: And the Great Pumpkin never showed up?
Linus: Nope.
Charlie Brown: Well, don't take it too hard, Linus. I've done a lot of stupid things in my life, too.
Linus: [furious] STUPID? What do you mean "stupid"? Just wait till next year, Charlie Brown. You'll see! Next year at this same time, I'll find a pumpkin patch that is *real* sincere and I'll sit in that pumpkin patch until the Great Pumpkin appears. He'll rise out of that pumpkin patch and he'll fly through the air with his bag of toys. The Great Pumpkin will appear and I'll be waiting for him! I'll be there! I'll be sitting there in that pumpkin patch... and I'll see the Great Pumpkin. Just wait and see, Charlie Brown. I'll see that Great Pumpkin. I'll SEE the Great Pumpkin! Just you wait, Charlie Brown. The Great Pumpkin will appear, and I'll be waiting for him...
[the screen fades out and the show ends in the most recent versions. However in the original airing, Linus continues shouting as the Dolly Madison Cakes and the Coca-Cola sponsor credits appear]
Linus: I'll be there! I'll be sitting there in that pumpkin patch... and I'll see the Great Pumpkin. Just wait and see.

Charlie Brown: You just want me to come running up to kick that ball, so you can pull it away and see me fall flat on my back and kill myself.
Lucy Van Pelt: This time you can trust me. See? I have a signed document testifying that I promise not to pull it away.
Charlie Brown: It *is* signed. It's a signed document. I guess if you have a signed document in your possession, you can't go wrong. This year I'm really going to kick that football.
[Charlie Brown runs to kick football, but Lucy pulls it away]
Charlie Brown: Aauugh!
[falls on his back]
Lucy Van Pelt: Peculiar thing about this document: it was never notarized.

Charlie Brown: Who are you writing to, Linus?
Linus: This is the time of year to write to the Great Pumpkin. On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises out of his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys for all the children!
Charlie Brown: You must be crazy. When are you going to stop believing in something that isn't true?
Linus: When *you* stop believing in that fellow with a red suit and the white beard who goes, "Ho, ho, ho!"
Charlie Brown: We're obviously separated by denominational differences.

Violet: By the way, whatever happened to the World War I flying ace?
[Charlie Brown visualizes what happened: Snoopy, in flying ace gear, climbs atop his doghouse like a plane]
Charlie Brown: Oh, he's probably getting ready to take off in the Sopwith Camel on the next dawn patrol. His mission is, to find the Red Baron and shoot him down. Here's the World War I flying ace climbing into the cockpit of the Sopwith Camel.
[Snoopy moves his mouth as if to speak]
Charlie Brown: "Contact!" he shouts.
[Snoopy starts up his doghouse-plane and takes off after the Red Baron]

[Snoopy as the World War I flying ace has been shot down and crash-lands behind enemy lines. He is now trying to make his way across the lines]
Charlie Brown: [narrating; voiceover] Here's the World War I flying ace imagining he's down behind enemy lines, making his way across the French countryside.

Charlie Brown: [after Snoopy blows a lone leaf into a pile of leaves that Charlie Brown has raked] Thanks, old pal.

Snoopy: The Musical (1988) (TV)
Linus van Pelt: [all singing] Poe! Edgar Allen, American poet, born 1809.
Charlie Brown: He wrote Cock Robin and My Darling Clementine.
Linus van Pelt: Published Tamerlane in 1827.
Sally Brown: If you're listening, Heaven, Heaven, help me, help me!
Lucy van Pelt: She's gonna ask us something, on Edgar Allen Poe. I just know, I just know that any minute now...
Sally Brown: She's gonna call on me and ask me something I don't know.

Charlie Brown: [reading a letter to Snoopy about his promotion to head beagle] Well, I'll be.
[hands the letter to Linus, who also reads it]
Linus van Pelt: Well, I'll be!
Charlie Brown: Who else do you know whose dog's just been promoted to head beagle?
Lucy van Pelt: Head beagle? That stupid dog can't be promoted to head beagle! He'll bring ruination upon the country! He'll destroy us all! He's inept, he's incompetent, he's...
Snoopy: Hmph! If you don't mind, the head beagle would like to be alone to prepare his acceptance speech!
[hops off his dog house and kicks it]
Charlie Brown: I recognize that kick. That's the kick of someone who'd like to be alone to prepare his acceptance speech.
Snoopy: I don't think that's an unreasonable request.
Charlie Brown: And considers that a reasonable request.
Lucy van Pelt: Weird!
[She, Linus, and Charlie Brown leave]
Snoopy: [proudly] Just think - head beagle! I wish I knew where Mom was. Beautiful moments are meant to be shared.

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: Do you think you'll ever get married, Chuck?
Charlie Brown: Oh, I suppose so. Just about everyone does.
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: [holding Charlie Brown's hand] Well, what kind of girl do you think you'll marry?
Charlie Brown: Well, I always kind of hate to talk about it, because I'm afraid, it-it might sound silly. But I like the kind of girl who would call me 'poor, sweet baby'.
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: 'Poor, sweet baby'?
Charlie Brown: Uh-huh. If I was feeling tired, or depressed, or something, she'd cuddle up close to me, kiss me on the ear, and whisper: "Poor, sweet baby".

Charlie Brown: It must be nice to be believed in.
Snoopy: It is.
Linus van Pelt: Wouldn't it be wonderful if everybody believed in everybody?
Charlie Brown: Beginning with me.

Charlie Brown: Do falling leaves make you sad?
Lucy van Pelt: Absolutely not. If they want to fall, I'd say "Let 'er fall." In fact, falling leaves are a very good sign. It's when you see them jumping back *onto* the trees that you're in trouble.

Lucy van Pelt, Linus van Pelt, Sally Brown, Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt, Snoopy: Well, what do you see, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: I was going to say a horsie and a duckie, but I changed my mind.

Lucy van Pelt: You know, if you use your imagination, you can see all sorts of things in the clouds. What do you see, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: Well...

Charlie Brown: I have never seen the sky as blue as it is today.
Lucy van Pelt: Oh, I have. I remember back on July 14th, 1980, the sky was really blue. Oh yes, it was much bluer that day. And then I also remember on September 2nd, 1981, the sky was a very deep blue, and on June 1st of the very next year, the sky was...
Charlie Brown: I can't stand it. I just can't stand it.

Sally Brown: "Columbus Day" by Sally Brown. This is my report.
Charlie Brown: I see.
Sally Brown: Columbus Day was a very brave man. He wanted to sail around the world. The queen said, "I can give you three ships, Mr. Day."
Charlie Brown: Good luck.
Sally Brown: Thank you.

Snoopy: [singing as he types] At the very moment, a young intern was making an important discovery. The mysterious patient in Room 23 had suddenly awakened. She moaned softly. Could it be? That she was the sister of the boy in Kansas, who loved the girl with the tattered shawl, who was the daughter of the maid, who escaped from the pirates! The intern frowned. That has a good ring to it!
[we hear a dinging sound]
Snoopy: See how neatly it all fits together?
Charlie Brown: What about the king?
[Snoopy glares at him as Charlie Brown turns red]

Snoopy Come Home (1972)
Charlie Brown: I'm depressed, Linus. I need an encouraging word to cheer me up.
Linus: Happiness lies in our destiny like a cloudless sky before the storms of tomorrow destroy the dreams of yesterday and last week.
Charlie Brown: I think that blanket is doing something to you.

Charlie Brown: You know what I need? I need more hellos.

Linus: [Linus found out the reason why Snoopy ran away] Are you ready for a shock?
[Charlie Brown faints]
Linus: He wasn't ready for a shock.
[Charlie Brown gets back up]
Linus: How can I tell you something that will shock you if you pass out before I can tell you?
Charlie Brown: I'm sorry; I've been hyperventilating a lot lately...

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Does your kind ever think about love, Chuck?
Charlie Brown: What do you mean, *my* kind?
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to put it that way. No offense. I apologize.
[She holds out her hand]
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Friends?
[They shake hands]
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: [swooningly] You touched my hand, Chuck.

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: What do you think love is, Chuck?
Charlie Brown: Well, years ago, my dad owned a black 1934 two-door sedan.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: What's that got to do with love?
Charlie Brown: Well, this is what he told me: there was this really cute girl, see? She used to go for rides with him in his car. And whenever he'd call for her, he would always hold open the car door for her. After she got in and he had closed the door, he'd walk around the back of the car to the driver's side, but before he could get there, she would reach over and press the button, locking him out. Then she'd just sit there and wrinkle her nose and grin at him. That's what I think love is.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: [perplexed] Sometimes I wonder about you, Chuck.

[first lines]
[Charlie Brown picks up a rock from the beach, and throws it into the water]
Linus: Nice going, Charlie Brown. It took that rock 4,000 years to get to shore, and now you've thrown it back.
Charlie Brown: Everything I do makes me feel guilty.

Charlie Brown: If I don't find out what happened to Snoop, I think I'll go out of my mind!
Linus: If you'll calm down for a minute, Charlie Brown, I may able to conduct a little private investigation.
Charlie Brown: Just what I need, a blanket-carrying Sherlock Holmes!

[last lines]
Linus: [outraged by a note handed out by Snoopy] Look at this, Charlie Brown!
Charlie Brown: [reading it] "To Linus Van Pelt: I expect my croquet set and chess set returned forthwith, in good order, and within five days, or the matter will be turned over to my attorney."
Schroeder: [outraged over his own note from Snoopy] And mine says... he wants the record collection back!
Charlie Brown: [reading his own letter] And mine says... that since he gave me nothing, I owe him nothing!
[glares at Snoopy]
Lucy: That does it, Charlie Brown! He's your dog, and you're welcome to him!
[everyone walks out on Charlie Brown, Snoopy, and Woodstock; Charlie, annoyed at Snoopy, follows suit]

Charlie Brown: [about Snoopy, bitter] What an independent dog. He comes and goes as he pleases, but I have to stay home and fix his supper.

[Charlie Brown accidentally cuts his finger on a can opener while trying to open a can of dog food for Snoopy. Charlie Brown then takes it out to Snoopy's doghouse]
Charlie Brown: [to Snoopy, bitter] All right, it's supper time. Come and get your supper.
[Snoopy notices his chow, while Charlie Brown holds up a bandaged thumb, which he had accidentally cut]
Charlie Brown: Do you see this finger? I cut it opening a can of stupid dog food for your stupid supper. I hope you appreciate it. Besides that, it wasn't a finger; it was my THUMB!
[Charlie Brown then points down to order his dog off the roof of his dog house; Snoopy gets down]
Charlie Brown: You've been acting awfully independent lately.
[Snoopy ignores him]
Charlie Brown: Don't forget that I'm the one who feeds you. I'm the one who takes care of you.
[Snoopy still ignores him]
Charlie Brown: Look at me when I'm talking to you!
[Snoopy looks at him]
Charlie Brown: Without me, you'd be nothing! Everything you have, you have because of me. Even that collar around your neck. Why, I remember the day I went out and bought that collar with money I have worked for and have saved and...
[Snoopy removes his collar; Charlie Brown walks off in a huff]
Charlie Brown: I hate it when he does that.

It's Magic, Charlie Brown (1981) (TV)
Charlie Brown: [after Charlie Brown gets done kicking the football away from Lucy three times]
Charlie Brown: What's the matter?
[He approaches her carrying the football, and walks around her]
Charlie Brown: Did you lose something? Is this yours?
[Throws the football point blank into her chest on "yours". She expresses anger silently, then puts the ball back down in a teed-up position accidentally. Just when she realized how the ball was placed, it gets kicked away from her again]
Charlie Brown: Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha, ha!

Lucy van Pelt: [after Charlie Brown finally reappears from his invisibility and Lucy pulls the ball away from him again; last lines] Welcome home, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: I did it; I finally kicked that football!
Lucy van Pelt: Oh no, you didn't! I just pulled it away!
Charlie Brown: I did it when I was invisible. I did it!
Lucy van Pelt: You can't prove it, Charlie Brown. No one will believe you.
Charlie Brown: [as he comes over to them] Snoopy knows I did it. He made it possible.
Lucy van Pelt: [angrily] Why, that stupid dog of yours couldn't disappear himself out of a paper bag!
[Snoopy growls at her for that, then starts zapping her with a spell]
Lucy van Pelt: Hey, what are you doing?
[She starts rising in the air]
Lucy van Pelt: Put me down, put me down!
[She keeps rising until she is about 10 feet in the air, then stops]
Lucy van Pelt: Hey, hey! You can't leave me up here! Hey!
[Snoopy and Charlie Brown start laughing and dancing around]
Lucy van Pelt: Hey, what about me?
[They both run off, still laughing. Calling after them]
Lucy van Pelt: Hey! Hey, what about me?

[Snoopy has covered an invisible Charlie Brown in mud]
Charlie Brown: I feel like a chocolate chip cookie.

Charlie Brown: [after falling out his front door while still invisible] This is ridiculous. I can't walk downstairs because I can't see my feet. Snoopy will just have to make me visible again.
[searches for Snoopy, but can't find him]
Charlie Brown: Snoopy? Snoopy?... Snoopy! Now where can Snoopy be? Where is that dog? I just have to find Snoopy. I can't go on like this.

Charlie Brown: [shortly after it starts raining and he's left alone, invisible] It's raining. Where did everybody go? What about me?

Charlie Brown: [after asking Snoopy to make him visible again, Snoopy, unsure how to do it yet, gets a bucket of soapy water, scrubs him down until he's covered from head to toe with soapsuds, then takes the bucket and throws the rest of the water at him, just to watch the suds go away leaving him the same way] A lot of good that did. I'm still invisible, and now I'm all wet.

Charlie Brown: [he scolds Snoopy and Woodstock for laughing while Snoopy practices his magic] You two'd better settle down. The owner of a cat next door just called. He complained about the racket that you two were making. He says it's upsetting his cat, and for you two to stop this racket.

Marcie: And now for the best trick of all: the Great Houndini will now perform the great disappearing act. This calls for another volunteer from the audience.
Lucy van Pelt: [Still woozy from falling out of the air onto her back during the previous trick] Boy, I volunteered once.
[Turns to him, sitting next to her]
Lucy van Pelt: Maybe you should go this time, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: [Speaking basically to Lucy] *Me*?
Marcie: Yes. The gentleman who just said 'me', please come forward.
Charlie Brown: [to Marcie this time] Me?
Marcie: Yes, yes. The gentleman with the large round head, please come right up.

Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown (1977)
Charlie Brown: Why can't I have a normal dog like everybody else?

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: [to Charlie Brown, about his registration form] Hey Chuck. Give us a hint. What did you write?
Charlie Brown: Well, I'm not quite sure. It's kind of personal, you know.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: [Chucks "Chuck" playfully in the arm] Oh, come on, Chuck. We're close friends, you know.
Charlie Brown: [Thinks for a second] Well, okay.
[Reads from his paper]
Charlie Brown: I decided to come to camp, because I've never been much of a person. I thought maybe coming to camp would help me grow up, and maybe make me into a leader. I could use leadership qualities.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: You could say that again, Chuck. You couldn't lead a dog on a leash.

Linus Van Pelt: Are we dead?
Lucy Van Pelt: Thanks to old Charlie Brown.
Sally Brown: I'm not dead.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Of course you're not dead!
Lucy Van Pelt: No thanks to old Charlie Brown!
Charlie Brown: All right, all right, let's go to the river!

Franklin: I've never made a bed in my life. Do I have directions? By the way, it's a little chilly in here. Where's the thermostat?
Charlie Brown: Hey! We're supposed to be roughing it. There's no thermostat in a tent!

Franklin: What's 0500? Noon time?
Charlie Brown: Nope, it's 5 in the morning.
Franklin: 5 in the morning? I don't get up at 5 in the morning! Maybe I should resign.

[last lines]
Charlie Brown: Well, lots of things have happened to me, and I'm glad I did what I did. You know, I was never sure how I'd be able to stand up under pressure and how I'd make decisions, and I feel good about myself for the first time in my life! I think now that dumb things won't happen to me anymore. I feel like I'm more in control!
[bus door closes and bus takes off]
Charlie Brown: HEY! DON'T FORGET - ME!
Charlie Brown: Snoopy, the bus took off, and they forgot me! Can you give me a lift?

Charlie Brown: [he and the rest of the gang are stuck on top of a water wheel while everybody else shouts for help] Well, I'm the leader, so I guess it's up to me to climb down and free this wheel.

[the kids take a wrong turn to a channel and see a sign: "Danger, Blasting on Tuesdays and Thursdays"]
Charlie Brown: That's funny. Did you see that sign?
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Hey, Chuck, did you see that sign? What day is this?
Charlie Brown: That's right, today is Tuesday!
[the kids pass by a group of bulldozers and tractors and see another sign: "Danger, Blasting on Tuesdays and Thursdays, 10 am"]
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Chuck, did you see that sign? What time is it, Chuck?
Charlie Brown: [checks his watch] It's almost...
[a huge explosion occurs and a bunch of rocks fall on the screaming kids as the channel goes wavy separating the kids from Snoopy and Woodstock]
Charlie Brown: ...10 AM!
[the rocks stop falling and the channel goes calm again]
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: [angrily points at Charlie Brown] Okay, Chuck! *Another* fine mess you've gotten us into! Look at that! The channel is all blocked!
Lucy Van Pelt: Yeah, just like his head!
[Charlie Brown nervously blushes]

Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown (1975) (TV)
Violet: Charlie Brown, we've been feeling awfully guilty about not giving you a valentine this year. Here, I've erased my name from this one. I'd like you to have it.
Schroeder: Hold on there! What do you think you're doing? Who do you think you are? Where were you yesterday when everyone else was giving out valentines? Is kindness and thoughtfulness something you can make retroactive? Don't you think he has any feelings? You and your friends are the most thoughtless bunch I've ever known. You don't care *anything* about Charlie Brown! You just hate to feel guilty! And now you have the nerve to come around one day later and offer him a used valentine just to ease your conscience! Well let me tell you something: Charlie Brown doesn't need your...
Charlie Brown: Don't listen to him! I'll take it!

[First lines]
Lucy van Pelt: What are you doing, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: I'm waiting for valentines.
Lucy van Pelt: Oh, well. Good luck.
Charlie Brown: Thank you.
Lucy van Pelt: You'll need it.
Charlie Brown: You didn't have to say that!

[At Snoopy's puppet show]
Charlie Brown: Have you ever been to one of these shows before?
Lucy van Pelt: No, I can't say I have.
Charlie Brown: Then maybe I should warn you about this first scene.
Lucy van Pelt: What first scene?
[Water splashes on Lucy]
Charlie Brown: When the carriage crosses the swollen river.

Charlie Brown: [to Schroeder] Did you see my name on any of those valentines?
Schroeder: No, I haven't been paying any attention. What's that briefcase for?
Charlie Brown: Well, in case I get a lot of valentines, I'll want to have something to carry them in.

Schroeder: [after everyone except Charlie Brown receives their valentines] Well, that's it. Happy Valentine's Day, everybody. Refreshments will be served in the back.
Charlie Brown: Are you sure there's none for me?
Schroeder: Yep, none.

Charlie Brown: I guess I let Schroeder down, but it was my first valentine, you know.
Linus van Pelt: I didn't do too well, either. Miss Othmar went off with her boyfriend. She never even knew I had a Valentine's gift for her.
Charlie Brown: Well, maybe it wasn't a total flop for me. At least they *were* a showing a little thought for me, even if it was a used valentine. At least they care a *little* bit about me. Hey, maybe this is the start of a trend. Maybe this is a whole new trend for old Charlie Brown. Maybe this is the start of something big! Maybe next year I'll get a whole *bunch* of valentines! Maybe next year I'll need three briefcases instead of two! Maybe next year I'll even...
Linus van Pelt: Happy Valentine's Day, Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown: I'd give *anything if that Little Red Haired Girl had sent me a valentine. Hey, maybe she *did* send me one. Maybe she *did* send me a valentine, and it didn't get here till today! Maybe it's in our mailbox right now! I'm afraid to look. If I look and there's nothing there, I'll be crushed. On the other hand, if she did send me a valentine... I've *got* to look!
[he opens the mailbox eagerly, but Snoopy smooches him on the nose, then Snoopy closes the mailbox promptly as Charlie Brown rubs his nose disgustedly]
Charlie Brown: I hate Valentine's Day.

Snoopy's Getting Married, Charlie Brown (1985) (TV)
[Snoopy was supposed to be a watchdog and guard Peppermint Patty's house, but while doing so, he gets scared off. Outraged, Peppermint Patty phones Charlie Brown]
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: [dialing] Some watchdog. He hears one sound, and he runs off into the night.
[phone answers]
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Hello, Chuck!
Charlie Brown: [sleepy] Who is this?
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: This is Peppermint Patty. Now, where's my watchdog, Chuck? Snoopy is supposed to be guarding my house, and he just ran off! Where is he, Chuck? Where is he?
[She does not get a response]
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Chuck? *Chuck*?
[still no response; Charlie Brown is sound asleep]
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Chuck, wake UP!
Charlie Brown: [startled awake] Huh - what? Oh, sorry.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Chuck, you better get over here right away. Snoopy was your responsibility. If he's ran out on me, you're gonna have to take his place. *YOU'RE* GONNA BE THE WATCHDOG, CHUCK! DO YOU HEAR ME?
Charlie Brown: Woof.

[last lines]
Lucy van Pelt: Charlie Brown, I've got some good news for you, and I've got some bad news. The good news is that we've prepared a great party.
[short pause]
Lucy van Pelt: The bad news is that the bride-to-be has just run off with the golden retriever.
[Snoopy faints in shock]
Charlie Brown: The wedding's off!
Linus van Pelt: What about my sermon?
Lucy van Pelt: What about my salad?
Schroeder: Hey, what about my music?
Marcie: What about my dinner?
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: What about my *wedding* cake?
Charlie Brown: What about my *dog*?

Charlie Brown: [singing somewhat off-key] One o'clock and all is well. / Actually, all is not well. / What am I doing out here at one o'clock in the morning? / I'm not a watchdog. / What am I doing here? / What happened to the real watchdog? / What is the purpose of life?
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: [trying to sleep] Knock it off, Chuck! I need my beauty sleep.

Charlie Brown: I sure hope Spike makes it here in time for the wedding. It's a long way form Needles, California. Gee, I wonder if he's had any trouble coming that long way.

Charlie Brown: I can't believe I'm doing this. I can't believe I'm being a watchdog.

Linus van Pelt: How are the plans for the wedding coming along?
Charlie Brown: Well, the ceremony will take place right here in the backyard. The bride will enter through that small gate over there. Snoopy and Spike will stand right here. The reception party after the wedding will be held downstairs in the doghouse. He's having it painted over in pink and white.

Charlie Brown: Well, Spike, you've made Snoopy very happy coming all the way from Needles to be Snoopy's best beagle. I hope we live up to your expectations. Come, you must meet the bride and the rest of the wedding party. Then tonight, we're holding Snoopy's bachelor party. As his closest relative, you, of course, will be very important to the festivities.

Charlie Brown's All Stars! (1966) (TV)
Charlie Brown: Linus, give us the scouting report on the other team.
Linus: I watched this team practice, see. They were terrible! Anybody could beat them. None of their players can hit the ball out of the infield. And they have this loud mouth girl in center field who can't catch a thing. They also have some animal at second base who can't even throw, and their pitcher is a kind of round-headed kid who is absolutely no good at all. And...

[last lines]
Charlie Brown: Why are you looking at me like that?
Linus: [wailing] They made your uniform out of my blanket!

Charlie Brown: For one brief moment victory was within our grasp.
Linus: And then the game started.

Charlie Brown: So they have one man on first, but if they think they can beat us, they'd better try.
[Pitches; the ball is hit]
Charlie Brown: I hate it when they try.

Charlie Brown: If you grit your teeth and show real determination, you can do anything. Let me see you grit your teeth.
[Lucy grits her teeth]
Charlie Brown: That's great! You'll scare the pitcher.
Lucy van Pelt: Scare the pitcher? I can't even see him!

Lucy van Pelt: You don't think Charlie Brown will try to steal home, do you?
Violet: No way! Not even Charlie Brown is stupid enough to do that.
Charlie Brown: I wonder if I should try to steal home?

It Was a Short Summer, Charlie Brown (1969) (TV)
Linus: It was a short summer, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: And it looks like it's gonna be a looong winter.

Peppermint Patty: [yelling] Hey, there's a bug in your hair, Charlie Brown!
Charlie Brown: [frantic] Where? Where? Brush it off!
Peppermint Patty: That's alright, it's gone now.
Charlie Brown: That's the one thing I hate about all this outdoor living!
Peppermint Patty: Well, don't worry, it's not in your hair anymore. It fell down your neck.

[repeated line]
Charlie Brown: All right, everybody, move it along. Hup-hup-hup.

Charlie Brown: Do you know why English teachers go to college for four years?
Linus: No.
Charlie Brown: Well then, I'll tell you why English teachers go to college for four years.
Charlie Brown: So they can learn how to make stupid little kids write stupid essays about what they did all stupid summer!

Charlie Brown: Shermy, you've got to come up with something that we can win at. Isn't there a champion that will come forth and uphold the right?

Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: Eagle claws! OK Chuck, we'll take our outs to bat.
Charlie Brown: Eagle claws?
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: You guys shag 'em for us.
Charlie Brown: Eagle claws?

It's Flashbeagle, Charlie Brown (1984) (TV)
Charlie Brown: [to Snoopy, asleep on top of his doghouse] Do you realize what you're becoming? I don't know what you're becoming, but I do know what you're not becoming. You don't do *any* of the things a dog is supposed to do. You don't bark at strangers, you don't bring in the morning paper, you're not even bringing me my slippers at night. In the old days, dogs used to round up sheep, who guard them in case wolves attack. I never see you round up any sheep. I bet you don't even know what one looks like. You don't try to follow me to school, and you don't meet me when I come home. There's nothing worse than owning a dog who isn't a dog.

Charlie Brown: What are you doing, Sally?
Sally Brown: I'm waiting for my sweet baboo.
Linus van Pelt: I am *not* your sweet baboo!
Sally Brown: I'm waiting here because my sweet baboo asked me to have the next dance with him.
Linus van Pelt: I DID *NOT*!
Sally Brown: Well, you should have!
Charlie Brown: Oh, brother.

Charlie Brown: Are you ready for the party tonight, Sally?
Sally Brown: I remember the last time I went to a party. Linus called up and asked me if I would like to go to a party. And I said yes. Then when we got there, Linus asked me if I would like to dance. And I said yes. Then after we danced, Linus said, "Would you like a glass of punch?" And I said "Yes. That would be very nice. I would like to have a glass of punch."
Charlie Brown: I don't believe that ever happened!
Sally Brown: Well, it should have!

Charlie Brown: [as he and Sally walk home with Snoopy after school; last lines] I don't know what to do about Snoopy. I should give him a good lecture the away he carries on.
Sally Brown: You just leave him alone. That's the first time I ever got an A in show-and-tell.

Charlie Brown: [as he prepares to head to school, he sees Snoopy on his doghouse] Go back! Stay, stay! Don't follow me to school! Stay, stay!
[Snoopy gets up, then flops over]
Charlie Brown: Some kids have dogs that follow them to school.

Charlie Brown: Flashbeagle? I can't stand it!

It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown! (1974) (TV)
Sally Brown: It's Easter, and they already have the Christmas decorations up.
Charlie Brown: Good grief.
Linus van Pelt: I can't believe it.
Lucy van Pelt: I told you. It's the *gift* getting season.

Charlie Brown: [seeing Sally and Snoopy laugh as they try on hats] Okay, you two, let's get on with it. It's shoes you need, not hats.

Charlie Brown: I know why they have holidays. They have holidays so people can get together and have fun. So why am I alone?

Lucy van Pelt: [to Charlie Brown and Sally] We're on our way to the store. We got to get ready for Easter. You know, we need Easter baskets, eggs, candy, the works. Want to join us?
Linus van Pelt: I told you it's a waste of time. The Easter Beagle does all that.
Lucy van Pelt: Ooh, Linus, you drive me crazy!
Sally Brown: Easter Beagle?
Linus van Pelt: Sure, Sally. We don't need to go to all this trouble. On Easter Sunday, the Easter Beagle passes colored eggs to all the good little children.
Sally Brown: The Easter Beagle? Are you sure, Linus?
Linus van Pelt: Of course.
Charlie Brown: Come on, Sally, I thought you wanted to get some new shoes.

There's No Time for Love, Charlie Brown (1973) (TV)
Charlie Brown: [Charlie Brown and Sally walk to school] You're really something, do you know that? I've never seen anyone who was so uptight about school. Why don't you just relax?
Sally: [next scene; Sally stands on her chair in the classroom and has a nervous look on her face] Who can relax?

Linus: What's wrong, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: I just got terrible news. The teacher says we're going on a field trip to an art museum; and I have to get an A on my report or I'll fail the whole course. Why do we have to have all this pressure about grades, Linus?
Linus: Well, I think that the purpose of going to school is to get good grades so then you can go on to high school; and the purpose is to study hard so you can get good grades so you can go to college; and the purpose of going to college is so you can get good grades so you can go on to graduate school; and the purpose of that is to work hard and get good grades so we can get a job and be successful so that we can get married and have kids so we can send them to grammar school to get good grades so they can go to high school to get good grades so they can go to college and work hard...
Charlie Brown: Good grief!

[last lines, after Charlie Brown got his first 'A' on his report]
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: Chuck, I want to apologize for saying that you're stupid and wishy-washy and everything. It's not easy for a girl to talk like this to a boy, you know.
Charlie Brown: I know. But I always used to think how nice it would be if that little red-haired girl would just come up to me and...
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: [blows him away with her yells] I can't stand you, Chuck!
Marcie: [comes by] Well, sir, you said the wrong thing again, didn't you?
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: Kid, I want to ask you something: how come you're always calling me 'sir' when I keep asking you not to? Don't you realize how annoying that can be?
Marcie: No, ma'am.
[Peppermint Patty winces from the word]

[first lines]
Sally: [wakes up] My alarm clock didn't go off!
[she takes her alarm clock and shakes it and goes to the kitchen to Charlie Brown]
Sally: Maybe I wound it too tight. Sometimes if you wind an alarm clock too tight, it won't go off.
Charlie Brown: We're all a little that way.
[Sally and Charlie Brown walk to school]
Charlie Brown: You're really something, do you know that? I've never seen anyone who is so uptight about school. Why do you just relax?
[Sally is standing on her desk at school in the next scene]
Sally: [confused] Who can relax?

You're in Love, Charlie Brown (1967) (TV)
Charlie Brown: It's stupid to just sit here and admire that little red haired girl from a distance. It's stupid not to get up and go over and talk to her.
[stands up]
Charlie Brown: It's really stupid! It's just plain stupid; so why I don't I go over and talk to her?
[sits down]
Charlie Brown: Because I'm stupid.

Charlie Brown: There's nothing like unrequited love to take all the flavor out of a peanut butter sandwich.

[unable to face the Little Red-Haired Girl, Charlie Brown covers his face up in his lunch bag, and rushes for the entry line when the bell rings. Blinded, he bumps into Lucy]
Lucy van Pelt: Good grief, Charlie Brown! You're ridiculous!
Charlie Brown: I can't help it, Lucy! I just can't face the Little Red-Haired Girl... Pretty faces make me nervous.
Lucy van Pelt: How come *my* face doesn't make you nervous?
[as Charlie Brown walks off, with Lucy following him]
Lucy van Pelt: I've noticed you can talk to *me*! *I* have a pretty face! So how come you can talk to me? Wasn't I the Christmas Queen? You haven't answered!

Charlie Brown: [running after the bus after he wakes up at the bus stop] Hey! You there! Bus! Stop! Hey, bus! Stop, bus!

What a Nightmare, Charlie Brown! (1978) (TV)
Charlie Brown: [to Snoopy, who tries desperately to pull the sled] What in the world is the matter with you? Dogs in the Arctic don't behave like you do. In the Arctic, dogs are workers. They don't lead prima donna lives. They've got a chain from their collar that extends about eight feet. And unlike you, they're tied to a post or tree unless they're going to pull a sled. I guess I'll have to show you. Here, give me the harness.
[grabs the harness and puts it on]
Charlie Brown: This is what you're supposed to do. You get into the sled, and I'll show you.

Charlie Brown: [as Snoopy eats an enormous yet appetizing dinner] You know, I've been thinking about you, and I've decided what's wrong with you. You know what's wrong with you? You're overly civilized, Snoopy. That's what's wrong with you. You're overly civilized. Good grief, what a dog. I hope you can digest all that food.

Charlie Brown: Hey Snoopy, how would you like to play sleddog with me? It's lots of fun. I'll harness you to my sled, and you'll pull it. Come on down, I'll show you.

He's a Bully, Charlie Brown (2006) (TV)
Charlie Brown: [answers phone] Hello?
Peppermint Patty: Summer school, Chuck! I have to go to summer school! Can you believe it?
Marcie: Ask Charles if he's going to summer camp with us.
Peppermint Patty: Marcie asks if you're going to camp with everyone else while I'm at summer school.
Charlie Brown: I'm sorry, all the lines in this half of the country have gone dead.
Peppermint Patty: Don't you hang up on me, Chuck!

Lucy van Pelt: Camp will be a good experience for you. It will help you to stand on you two feet.
Charlie Brown: Are you going to camp too?
Lucy van Pelt: And leave my good home? Don't be ridiculous!

Kid: Name's Joe Agate. Welcome to camp.
Charlie Brown: I'm Charlie Brown.
Kid: [flicks Charlie Brown's nose] Nice to "nose" you.
[slaps Charlie Brown in the back hard]
Kid: Good to see your back.

You're the Greatest, Charlie Brown (1979) (TV)
Lucy van Pelt: I can't believe it. After the first five events, you're in third place, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: What's so good about that?
Lucy van Pelt: I thought you'd be dead last.
Charlie Brown: Who was last?
Lucy van Pelt: The Masked Marvel. Freddie Fabulous from Fremont and Marcie are neck and neck for first.
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: You did okay, Chuck, and so did our team. In fact, if you can win the decathlon tomorrow, we might win the whole junior olympics.
Lucy van Pelt: Good grief! The whole world must be coming to an end.

Charlie Brown: [In bed after working out for the decathlon, to Snoopy] Boy, I'm reeeeally tired. I appreciate you working out with me, Snoopy. You must be exhausted, too.
[He's out as soon as his head hits the pillow. Snoopy, meanwhile, walks out the back door, then skips and dances back to his doghouse]

Charlie Brown: [as the 1500m race starts, he gains an early lead]
Charlie Brown: Hey! I'm out in first. Maybe I do have a chence to win. Maybe I will be the hero. Wow!
Lucy van Pelt: [Agahst] Charlie Brown has the lead! I may faint!
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: [Excited] Keep it up, Chuck! You're setting a good pace!
Charlie Brown: [His eyes are now closed as he is running]
[Still thinking]
Charlie Brown: I'm going to win! I'm going to win the decathlon! They'll treat me like Bruce Jenner! Parades! Flowers! Wow!
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: [Sensing something wrong] Chuck! Chuck! Pay attention, Chuck! Open your eyes!
[Charlie Brown keeps running straight forward while his competitors take the turn in the track]
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: [Yelling] You took the wrong turn, Chuck! Chuck! TURN BAAAACK!
Charlie Brown: [He runs off the school grounds into a residential neighborhood, completely oblivious of what has happened]
[Still thinking]
Charlie Brown: It's great being a winner. So peaceful and quiet.
[keeps running straight down the street]
Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt: Good grief! He ran off the track. He lost the race.

Bring Me the Head of Charlie Brown (1986)
Charlie Brown: Happiness is a warm uzi.

Charlie Brown: Schroeder, where's your piano?
[a giant piano falls on him]

Charlie Brown: See you in hell!

A Charlie Brown Celebration (1982) (TV)
Peppermint Patty: [On the phone with Charlie Brown discussing whether or not to transfer to a private school] A private school might do me some good, Chuck. I might even become one of the beautiful people. Wouldn't that be something?
Charlie Brown: [Cut to his house] I can see you now in a white blouse and a blue skirt running out to play field hockey.
Peppermint Patty: [Cut back to her house] Don't hassle me with your sarcasm, Chuck!

Sally Brown: Draw a farm? You want us to draw a farm? I can't draw a farm. I've never even seen a farm! Besides, cow's legs are impossible to draw. I defy anyone in this class to draw a good cow leg!
[Sally find herself at the principal's office in the next scene]
Sally Brown: I'm the only person I know who's failing first grade art.
[next scene, she walks home with Charlie Brown]
Sally Brown: So what happens? So I got sent to the principal's office because I couldn't draw a cow's leg. I'll bet Picasso couldn't draw a cow's leg when he was in the first grade. I'll even bet Bjorn Borg couldn't draw a cow's leg.
Charlie Brown: [confused] Bjorn Borg?

[last lines, after Charlie Brown accidentally kicked Lucy's arm instead of the football]
Lucy van Pelt: I kept my promise, didn't I? I didn't pull the ball away.
Charlie Brown: No, you're right, you didn't, but I missed the ball and kicked your hand. I don't know what to say. Is there anything I can do?
Lucy van Pelt: [her whole arm is in a cast] Next time you go to the hospital, stay there!

Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales (2002) (TV)
Sally Brown: I'm going out to fall down a Christmas tree.
Charlie Brown: You mean cut down.
Sally Brown: I don't know how to cut down a Christmas tree. When I look at it, I hope that it just falls down.

Sally Brown: What's going on? Is my sweet babboo helping my brother write a Christmas card?
Linus Van Pelt: I'm not your sweet babboo! That is so stupid! That is so humongously stupid!
Charlie Brown: There, how does it look? I drew a Christmas tree with little hearts on it.
Linus Van Pelt: [Reads card] "Merry Christmas from your sweet babboo"?
Charlie Brown: It's a family expression.

Charlie Brown: Grandma says that when she was a little girl, she used to hang her stockings on the fireplace, and when she woke up Christmas morning, they were filled with apples and oranges and such.
Sally Brown: [Goes to her dresser and takes out one of her small socks] I can see it now. Three grapes.

You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown (1985) (TV)
[last lines]
Charlie Brown, Snoopy, Sally Brown, Lucy van Pelt, Linus van Pelt, Schroeder: [singing] Happiness is morning and evening, daytime and nighttime too.
Charlie Brown: For happiness is anyone and anything at all that's loved by you.
Lucy van Pelt: [spoken] You're a good man, Charlie Brown.

Charlie Brown: [after Snoopy dances with his meal during "Suppertime" and Charlie silences him] Why can't you eat your meal quietly and calmly like any other normal dog?
Snoopy: So what's wrong with making meal time a joyous occasion?

Charlie Brown: Hi, Linus. Where're you going?
Linus van Pelt: Lucy's teaching me, Charlie Brown. She says a sister is responsible for the education of her little brother, so she's teaching me.
Linus van Pelt: Boy, is she intelligent.

Someday You'll Find Her, Charlie Brown (1981) (TV)
Linus van Pelt: [after Linus rings the doorbell, the first girl does not turn out to be pretty] Yes?
[Linus stammers, Charlie Brown signals to him she is not the one]
Linus van Pelt: My friend out there has fallen madly in love with you.
Loretta: [smiles] Ooh!
Linus van Pelt: And he would like to meet you.
Loretta: Yes!
[Charlie Brown goes nervous]
Linus van Pelt: My friend says he saw you at last week's game - a honey shot.
Loretta: Well! Where is this lothario?
Linus van Pelt: Is this the girl, Charlie Brown?
Charlie Brown: [shouts] NO!
[Loretta goes sad and Charlie Brown sighs in relief]

Charlie Brown: [Last Lines]
[after Linus leaves, Charlie pulls out a book, flips through it, then reads]
Charlie Brown: Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
[Turns the pages, reads again]
Charlie Brown: Does the imagination dwell the most upon a woman won, or a woman lost? I can't stand it!
[Closes the book and sighs]

Charlie Brown: Two seconds is all you need to fall in love.
Linus van Pelt: [Rolling his eyes] Especially when it happens every week.

Life Is a Circus, Charlie Brown (1980) (TV)
Charlie Brown: [watching as the circus train pulls away with Snoopy] Good grief. He's gone. Dognapped.

Charlie Brown: His career is being my dog!

Charlie Brown: [to Lucy, who has taken it upon herself to board up Snoopy's doghouse] What are you doing?
Lucy van Pelt: Since Snoopy 'obviously' isn't coming back, we're closing down his house.
Charlie Brown: [as she walks away] What do you mean he's not coming back?

I Want a Dog for Christmas, Charlie Brown (2003) (TV)
[last lines]
Charlie Brown: Sometimes I lie awake at night and I ask "when will it all end?" Then a voice comes to me that says "right after the credits."

Violet: You're asking our family to adopt this dog?
Charlie Brown: Why not? He's Snoopy's big brother. He's a good dog. He's a full-blooded beagle.
Violet: That's what you say. I say he's part beagle and part disaster.
Charlie Brown: He's been living just outside of Needles with a bunch of coyotes.
Violet: I think I'd rather have one of the coyotes.

What Have We Learned, Charlie Brown? (1983) (TV)
Charlie Brown: Remember when Linus and Marcy and Peppermint Patty and I went to France as exchange students?
Sally Brown: And your dog, how did he get to go along?
Charlie Brown: Who knows? Who knows how he does anything he does?
Sally Brown: You never told me what happened, I mean after the fire at the Chateau, you never told me how you got home. And did you learn anything? What did you learn?
Charlie Brown: What did we learn? That reminds me of something that Linus said.

[last lines]
Linus van Pelt: [after leaving the cemetery] What have we learned, Charlie Brown?
[Charlie Brown looks at him]
Charlie Brown: [back at home] And that's what Linus asked me: "What have we learned, Charlie Brown?"
[Charlie Brown puts his picture in his photo album]
Sally Brown: I hope you don't mind my saying this, big brother, but you're pasting your pictures in upside down.

Happiness Is a Warm Blanket, Charlie Brown (2011) (V)
Charlie Brown: Hey, Linus. Where's your blanket?
Linus van Pelt: Lucy locked it in a closet. She wants me to do without it until dinner. It's her way to getting me to gradually free myself of it before grandma comes.
Charlie Brown: You don't look too well.
Linus van Pelt: How would you feel if your whole nervous system was shot?
Linus van Pelt: [grabs Snoopy's ear for a blanket]
Lucy van Pelt: No substitutes!

Linus van Pelt: I can't go through another night like last night again.
Charlie Brown: Can't I try and find you another substitute for something, Linus?
Linus van Pelt: Would you give a starving dog a rubber bone?
[Snoopy kicks Charlie Brown]

He's Your Dog, Charlie Brown (1968) (TV)
Lucy van Pelt: Charlie Brown, you've got to do something about that dog.
Linus Van Pelt: It's up to you, Charlie Brown.
Charlie Brown: Why me?

"Robot Chicken: Vegetable Fun Fest (#1.6)" (2005)
Charlie Brown: [talking to Peppermint Patty and Marcie after Linus' funeral] This is different from the time we got lost in France. Or when we almost drowned during the great river raft race. I fear just having a positive attitude, with strong Christian overtones, won't save us this time.
Marcie: Hold me, sir.
[Peppermint Patty and Marcie start kissing and making out]
Charlie Brown: [angrily] I said strong Christian overtones!

"This Is America, Charlie Brown: The Great Inventors (#1.6)" (1989)
Charlie Brown: [voiceover; last lines] Americans felt there was no stopping them now, but the American dream would soon be tested by war, by depression, and by the need for social reform. Freedom in America had created the climate for the great inventors to create their magic. And now, this same freedom would be tested in the twentieth century by the winds of change.

"The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show: Sally's Sweet Babboo (#2.5)" (1985)
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: [talking on the phone to Charlie Brown] Hello, Chuck, this is Peppermint Patty.
Charlie Brown: Hi.
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: Our school left out early for Christmas vacation. So I may come to visit you.
Charlie Brown: That would be great.
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: I'm making out my Christmas card this, Chuck, and I wanted to know your address so I can surprise you with the card.
Charlie Brown: That's great! Nobody ever sends me a Christmas card.
Patricia 'Peppermint Patty' Reichardt: But come to think of it, Chuck, now the surprise is gone, isn't it? So I'll just send your card to someone else. So I guess I won't need your address. Forget I called, Chuck.
[hangs up, to Charlie Brown's disappointment]

Charlie Brown: Blockhead's Revenge (2011)
[last lines]
Charlie Brown: I got a rock!

"This Is America, Charlie Brown: The Birth of the Constitution (#1.2)" (1988)
Linus Van Pelt: Come on, Charlie Brown! We're late already! We're supposed to clean up the meeting hall, and it's already after daybreak! Come on!
Charlie Brown: I never have time to do anything. All I ever do is work.

It's the Pied Piper, Charlie Brown (2000) (TV)
Sally: What are you watching, big brother?
Charlie Brown: I am watching a program that's supposed to make you a better person.
Sally: It's not working, is it?

Snoopy's Reunion (1991) (TV)
[Charlie Brown has discovered an old "Puppy for Sale" sign and shows it to Snoopy and his siblings]
Charlie Brown: I can't believe it. That's all that's left. This is where your old home was. There's no more Daisy Hill Puppy Farm. It's gone. They built a five-story parking lot on it. You realized what's happened? They're prking on your memories.
Sally Brown: [solemnly] You know, big brother, what's-his-name is right: you can't go home again.

"Robot Chicken: But Not in That Way (#4.9)" (2009)
[the Peanuts characters show off their geography schoolwork]
Linus Van Pelt: I love Geography Day!
[shows off a map of Italy]
Linus Van Pelt: I got Italy!
Lucy Van Pelt: [showing off a map of Russia] I got Russia!
Charlie Brown: [showing off a map of Iraq] I got Iraq.

It's an Adventure, Charlie Brown (1983) (TV)
[Charlie Brown is flying his kite, and as expected, lands it in the jaws of the Kite Eating Tree]
Charlie Brown: You stupid tree! If you don't stop biting my kite, I'll bite *you*!
[Naturally, the tree refuses to oblige, and continues to gorge on the kite]
Charlie Brown: All right... you asked for it!
[Grabs hold of the tree, opening his jaws]
Charlie Brown: [One second later, the tree stops biting as it feels a bite taken out of it]
Charlie Brown: [There is a hole in the tree in the shape of Charlie Brown's teeth] Didn't think I'd do it, did ya?
[Makes a sinister grin-alas, no damage on his own teeth]

She's a Good Skate, Charlie Brown (1980) (TV)
Charlie Brown: There are three things in life that people like to stare at: a flowing stream, a crackling fire, and a Zamboni clearing the ice.