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Quotes for
Alfalfa (Character)
from Beginner's Luck (1935)

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The Little Rascals (1994)
Alfalfa: Then the clouds opened up and God said, "I hate you, Alfalfa!"

Butch: Any last words?
Alfalfa: [waves nervously] Yeah, uh... see ya!

Alfalfa: Why am I soaking wet?
Porky: Don't worry, Alfalfa. I used to have the same problem.

Alfalfa: Love note? No, this is gonna be a hate note!
Buckwheat, Porky: Sounds good to me!

Waldo: We just moved into town. My father bought the oil refinery.
Darla: That explains why you're so refined!
Alfalfa: Yeah, and so oily!

Alfalfa: Look!
[Butch and Woim look to their rights, then Alfalfa runs away very fast]
Woim: I don't see nothin'.
Butch: Come on, you doink!
[they get out of the go-cart and chase after Alfalfa]

Alfalfa: I'm usually a lover, not a fighter, but in your case, I'm willing to make an exception!
[punches Butch and he falls in the mud]

Alfalfa: All knights ride into battle wearing the colors of their lady fair!

Alfalfa: [to Spanky] Don't talk to me you Benedict Arnold! You, you Judas Priest!

George "Spanky" McFarland: [during the Go-Cart Derby] You snot wads stole our racer!
Butch: Finders keepers, losers suck!
Alfalfa: Ahhh - bite me!

Alfalfa: Is Spanky home?
Spanky's Dad: Sorry, Alfalfa. Spanky isn't here.
Alfalfa's Dad: I'm sorry, Spanky, Alfalfa's not here.
George "Spanky" McFarland: Darn.
Alfalfa: Darn.

Stymie: You're not thinkin' about Darla, are ya?
Alfalfa: No, of course not.
George "Spanky" McFarland: Good.
Alfalfa: I wonder if she's not thinking of me, too?

Butch: When's the last time we beat you up?
Alfalfa: Well, let's see... today's the 10th, 30 days hath September, April, June, and November. It's not a leap year... yyyesterday.
Butch: You're due!

Alfalfa: Everything's working out perfectly. The guys are at the swimming hole, and I'm home with a tooth ache. Nothing could possibly go wrong.

Darla: Just as I thought, you are ashamed of me
Alfalfa: I'm not ashamed of you I'm proud of you... I just don't want anyone to see you.

Alfalfa: [during the bloopers at the end] I winded my ear up.

Our Gang Follies of 1938 (1937)
Alfalfa: I'm the Barber of Seville!

Alfalfa: Now, tell me the truth; have you ever heard a voice like mine before?
Young Barnaby: Why, uh, no, come to think of it; I never have!
Alfalfa: I knew you'd like it! Do you want me to sing in your next opera!
Young Barnaby: No, I don't need you in this one; it's all set.
Alfalfa: Well then, when DO you need me?
Young Barnaby: Well, let's see...
[checks his watch]
Young Barnaby: . It's 3:22 now... suppose you come back in twenty years?

[after Alfalfa is booed during his first opera performance]
Elderly Barnaby: You, an opera singer? BAH! I've wasted twenty year waiting fo' you! Take this tin cup and sing in the streets, where you belong!
Alfalfa: Me, "The Great Alfalfa?" Sing in the gutter?
Elderly Barnaby: Yes, I have you in me power! Don't forget; you signed a contract! Sing!
Alfalfa: [crying] Yeas, sir...

Spanky: You'll be sorry about this! Someday I'll be a big producer on Broadway, and you'll be singin' your opera in the street with a tin cup in your hand!
Alfalfa: [snootily] Is that so?
Spanky: Yes, that's so!

Alfalfa: Gee, you look pretty! Diamonds an' everything!
Darla: Oh yes indeed; I sing and I make hundreds an' thousands of dollars!

Spanky: For old time's sake, I'm gonna give you another chance. Now, how'd you like to work for me again?
Porky: O-tay!
Spanky: How about you, Alfalfa?
Darla: Oh, c'mon Alfalfa; croon just one song, an' you'll make hundreds an' thousands of dollars!
Alfalfa: I will NOT croon.
Spanky: Do you mean to tell me that you haven't given up opera yet?
Alfalfa: I'm a slave to my art!

Night 'n' Gales (1937)
Arthur Hood, Darla's Father: [sharing a bed with the gang] This is the end! I'd rather sleep with a bunch of wild porcupines!
Alfalfa: Where you gonna find a porcupine this hour of the night?

Arthur Hood, Darla's Father: [walking into the bedroom] What's wrong now?
Alfalfa: Buckwheat's gotta headache in his stomach.

Alfalfa: By the way, what is a porcupine?
Spanky: Aw, you tell him, Buckwheat.
[goes to sleep]
Buckwheat: Oh, Porky, you tell him.
[goes to sleep]
Porky: Oh, I don't know.
[goes to sleep]
Alfalfa: [sarcastically] Thanks very much, fellas.

Beginner's Luck (1935)
Master of Ceremonies: [MC walks onto stage and pulls Spanky back from waving at the gang ] Ok Little boy , your on first.
Spanky's mother: [the mother is totally surprised and bursts out ] He's not ready !
Master of Ceremonies: [the MC looks on very surprised ] he's not ready ?
[as she should have her kid all ready to go when he arrived at the theater]
Spanky's mother: [the mother composes herself and decides to lay it on a too thick ] Besides my son is too much of an artist to open a show !
Master of Ceremonies: [can't believe what he just heard ] Oh he's too much of an artist to open a show ?
Spanky: [Spanky looks to another act , two young cowboys ] Why don't you put on these sheepherders ?
Arizona Nightengale: [Turns angrily towards Spanky ] We're cowboys from the mountains !
Spanky: Huh ! from the drugstore !
Spanky's mother: [both Spanky and the Arizona nightingale square off, the mother jumps in to calm down Spanky ] Come come son , you can't act like that. You have an important show tonight and you must be ready to win this one.

Spanky's mother: after entering the back of the stage Spanky's mother and
[Grandmother walk over to the stage wings the mother sheepishly looks out into the audience ]
Spanky's mother: Looks like a nice crowd tonight
Spanky's grandmother: Oh that's nice
[the mother again very sheepishly peeks out to see the audience ]
Spanky's mother: [the mother turns towards the grandmother and proclaims ] Yes a nice big crowd to see Spanky win the prize tonight.
Master of Ceremonies: [the MC looks out to the crowd and putts his hand on Spanky's shoulder] Ok little boy your on first !
Spanky's mother: [the mother is shocked by the announcement and jumps toward the MC ] My good sir my son's not ready !
Master of Ceremonies: [the MC is shocked that this kid arrived at the theater not ready ] He's not ready?
Spanky's mother: No he's not ready yet.
[The mother then puts on the ritz trying to impress the MC]
Spanky's mother: besides my son is too much of an artist to open a show !
Master of Ceremonies: [the MC can't believe she said something so incredibly stupid ] Oh so he's too much of an artist to open a show ?
Spanky: why don't you put on these sheepherders ?
[Spanky points to the Arizona nightingales ]
Arizona Nightengale: We are cowboys from the mountains
Spanky: Huh from the drugstore
Spanky's mother: [with that Spanky's mother steps in between the arguing children ] Now, now son I don't want you to be like that. You are here to win the prize tonight and be a big hit .

Feed 'em and Weep (1938)
Darla's father: [tasting his soup after a long interruption] It's cold.
Alfalfa: Well why didn't 'cha eat it when it was hot?

Alfalfa: [sung by each of the boys] Happy Birthday Mr. Hood/Happy Birthday to you/To make your birthday turn out good/I give this present to you.

Kiddie Kure (1940)
[after Bill Morton acted senile or extremely goofy to the "Our Gang" group, as they were inside his house, they decide to try and leave, but Alfalfa's younger twin brothers are away from them, until Alfalfa finds them in hypocondriac, Bill Morton's medications' room]
Alfalfa: Oh, so there you are!
Bill 'Old Man' Morton: [Bill Morton follows Alfalfa, into his medications' room and then sees Tisket and Tasket eating his worthless sugar pill medications] Good heavens!
Alfalfa: [Alfalfa fears Mr. Morton will kill or severly injure his twin brothers] Don't touch them mister, they did not mean anything.
Bill 'Old Man' Morton: [to Evans, his butler] Call the doctor.

The Big Premiere (1940)
Alfalfa: Will you let me know when Nelson Eddy gets here? I want to shake hands with him 'cause he's a pretty good singer too.
[Proudly strokes throat]

General Spanky (1936)
Alfalfa: Cover up, he's coming this way.
Spanky Leonard: Who?
[the Gang then quickly cover up, holding tree branches, to hide Louella, from Simmons]
Spanky Leonard: [Also during this scene, Spanky walks, holding a stick, with a bonnet tied to the top & a feminine cape, on its frame, that appears as if Louella is walking alone and drew Simmons' attention and deceiving him, until Spanky walked under a low tree branch, that pulled the back cape off and Simmons saw Spanky. Spanky then quickly fled]
[Marshall Valient and Louella did a light quick kiss, in haste]

Sprucin' Up (1935)
Spanky: Say, who's this funny lookin' monkey?
Alfalfa: That happens to be me, partner!

Alfalfa's Double (1940)
Cornelius 'Corny': Our resemblance is rather striking.
Alfalfa: Yeah, and we look alike, too.

Rushin' Ballet (1937)
Butch: All right, where are you guys?
Alfalfa: There's nobody down here except us dummies.

Roamin' Holiday (1937)
Spanky: [all four boys having a delightful feast of the food Buckwheat and Porky brought out of the store] Home was never like this.Aren't you glad we ran away?
Alfalfa: And how.I betcha' our mothers are plenty sorry now.
Hiram Jenks: [while purposely eavesdropping] Oh so that's what they're up to eh?
Mrs. Jenks: Better get the car pa,and take em' right home.
Hiram Jenks: No.Do that and they'll run away again.It's my duty to teach them a darn good lesson first.C'mon ma.