The Wicked Witch of The West
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Quotes for
The Wicked Witch of The West (Character)
from The Wizard of Oz (1939)

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The Wizard of Oz (1939)
Cowardly Lion: I *do* believe in spooks, I *do* believe in spooks. I do, I do, I do, I *do* believe in spooks, I *do* believe in spooks, I do, I do, I do, I *do*!
Wicked Witch of the West: Ah! You'll believe in more than that before I'm finished with you.

Wicked Witch of the West: The last to go will see the first three go before her. And her little dog too.

Wicked Witch of the West: Ring around the rosie, a pocket full of spears! Thought you were pretty foxy, didn't you? Well! The last to go will see the first three go before her! And your mangy little dog, too!

Wicked Witch of the West: Going so soon? I wouldn't hear of it. Why my little party's just beginning.

Wicked Witch of the West: Just try and stay out of my way. Just try! I'll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!

[Dorothy watches the Wicked Witch melt]
Wicked Witch of the West: You cursed brat! Look what you've done! I'm melting! melting! Oh, what a world! What a world! Who would have thought a good little girl like you could destroy my beautiful wickedness? Oooooh, look out! I'm going! Oooooh! Ooooooh!

[Dorothy is brought to the Witch's castle]
Wicked Witch of the West: What a nice little dog. And you, my dear, what an unexpected pleasure. It's so kind of you to want to visit me in my loneliness.

Wicked Witch of the West: Who killed my sister? Who killed the Witch of the East? Was it you?
Dorothy: No, no. It was an accident. I didn't mean to kill anybody.
Wicked Witch of the West: Well, my little pretty, I can cause accidents, too!

Wicked Witch of the West: Helping the little lady along are you, my fine gentlemen? Well stay away from her, or I'll stuff a mattress with you! And you, I'll make you into a beehive. Here Scarecrow, want to play ball?

Wicked Witch of the West: How about a little fire, Scarecrow?

Wicked Witch of the West: And now, my beauties, something with poison in it, I think. With poison in it, but attractive to the eye, and soothing to the smell.
[cackles]
Wicked Witch of the West: Poppies... Poppies. Poppies will put them to sleep. Sleeeeep. Now they'll sleeeeep!

Dorothy: I'm frightened, Auntie Em! I'm frightened!
[Auntie Em's image appears in the crystal ball]
Auntie Em: Dorothy? Dorothy? Where are you? It's me, Auntie Em! We're trying to find you! Where are you?
Dorothy: I'm here in Oz, Auntie Em! I'm locked in the witch's castle, and I'm trying to get home to you, Auntie Em!
[Auntie Em's image fades out]
Dorothy: Oh, Auntie Em, don't go away! I'm frightened! Come back! Come back!
[the Wicked Witch's image appears in the crystal ball]
Wicked Witch of the West: Auntie Em! Auntie Em! Come back! I'll give you Auntie Em, my pretty!
[cackling, to the audience, cackling again and the Wicked Witch's image fades out]

Wicked Witch of the West: But that's not what's worrying me. It's how to do it. These things must be done delicately... or you hurt the spell.

Dorothy: [Toto is held hostage by the Witch and one of her monkeys] What are you gonna do to my dog? Give him back to me!
Wicked Witch of the West: All in good time, my little pretty. All in good time.
Dorothy: Oh, please give me back my dog?
Wicked Witch of the West: Certainly. Certainly. When you give me those slippers.
Dorothy: But, The Good Witch of the North told me not to.
Wicked Witch of the West: Very well.
[to her flying monkey]
Wicked Witch of the West: Throw that basket into the river and drown him!
Dorothy: No, no, no! Here... You can have your old slippers. But, give me back Toto!
Wicked Witch of the West: That's a good little girl. I know you'd see reason!
[the Witch stoops to steal the shoes. But, fire burns Dorothy's toes and the Witch's hands. she reacts in pain]
Wicked Witch of the West: Ohhhh!
Dorothy: I'm sorry! I didn't do it. Can I still have my dog?
Wicked Witch of the West: No! Fool that I am! I should have remembered! Those slippers will never come off as long as you're alive. But's that not what's worrying me. It's how to do it. These things must be done delicately or you hurt the spell.


"Tin Man: Search for the Emerald (#1.2)" (2007)
Azkadellia: [to the Mystic Man] If it isn't the great and terrible blah blah blah himself.

Azkadellia: [to the Mystic Man] Not so Great and Terrible after all, huh?

Azkadellia: The little witch is reconnecting with her past.
Lavender Eyes: Then hope lives. And what about you, Azkadellia? Perhaps DG isn't the only one who needs to unlock her memories.
Azkadellia: I'm only concerned with the future.
Lavender Eyes: Then why are you here, talking to me? Why have you locked me away for all these years? Kept my hope alive?
Azkadellia: To see your face... the day that hope dies.

Mystic Man: Your sister is more powerful than you.
Azkadellia: She will never be as powerful as me.
Mystic Man: Then why are you so scared?
[Azkadellia starts to kill him, but stops]
Mystic Man: I know you, *witch*!
Azkadellia: What... do you know?

DG: That was all fake? You are twisted!
Azkadellia: Why? Because with a little rewiring I've gotten something I've missed out on for too long; father's love, hmph, mother's affection, hmph.

Tutor: Azkadellia?
Azkadellia: A little older, a lot smarter, and most definitely still in charge, hmph.
Tutor: Nothing like a violent coup to win the hearts and minds of a kingdom.
Azkadellia: Good, you still have a memory, maybe the one thing that can save you.
Tutor: What do you want?
Azkadellia: What I want is the very thing you've devoted your feeble life to. Magic, my friend. Those that can't 'do' teach, remember?

Young Azkadellia: She says there's wild animals in the forest.
Young DG: Did she say what kind of wild animals?
Young Azkadellia: Lions and tigers and...
[a bear lumbers in and roars]
Young DG: Oh my!
[they drop apples they are holding]

Young Azkadellia: Your adventures have a way of getting me into trouble.


Oz the Great and Powerful (2013)
[from trailer]
Theodora: Aren't you the great man we've been waiting for?

[from trailer]
Oz: [to Theodora] Where's your broom?
Theodora: You don't know much about witches, do you?

Oz: Am I dreaming?
Theodora: You're in Oz.
Oz: Oz? But that's my name. Oscar Zoroaster Phadrig Isaac Norman Henkle Emmanuel Ambroise Diggs.

Oz: Theodora, I know your wickedness is not your doing! And should you ever find the goodness within you, you are welcome to return!
Theodora: NEVER!

Theodora: There's so much good here, it sickens me.


"Once Upon a Time: It's Not Easy Being Green (#3.16)" (2014)
Zelena: Meet me on Main Street tonight. Say, sundown.
Regina Mills: And then what?
Zelena: Then I'll destroy you.
Regina Mills: This isn't the Wild West.
Zelena: No, Dear. It's the Wicked West

Zelena: Out of my way, munchkin.
Sneezy: I'm a d-dwarf.
Zelena: That's even worse.

Regina Mills: Well, what are you waiting for? Kill me.
Zelena: I never said I wanted to kill you. I said I wanted to destroy you. And to do that, I need your heart.
[she thrusts her hand into Regina's chest, then pulls it out again - empty-handed]
Zelena: [irritated] Where is it?
Regina Mills: Our mother taught me one thing: never bring your heart to a witch fight. Something you'd know If she hadn't... abandoned you.
Zelena: [gasps angrily] You haven't won, Regina. I *will* get your heart! I will get everything you ever had!
Regina Mills: Not today.

Wizard of Oz: What you seek doesn't exist. No magic is that strong.
Zelena: Well, then - I have no use for you. At least not like that.
Wizard of Oz: Like what?
Zelena: What I need is someone who's willing to do whatever I ask without question. Like a trained circus animal.
Wizard of Oz: You're evil.
Zelena: Not evil, dear. Wicked.


"The Nostalgia Critic: Dawn of the Commercials (#6.41)" (2013)
Wicked Witch of the West: Dorothy has escaped the castle! Spread out! Find her! FIND HER!
[points to one Winkie]
Wicked Witch of the West: Except for you. You come here.
Winkie Guard: [approaching her] Yes, milady?
Wicked Witch of the West: It's been a long day, hasn't it, Oh-ee-oh henchman #5?
Winkie Guard: Yes, milady.
Wicked Witch of the West: And you'd do anything for me, wouldn't you?
Winkie Guard: Yes, milady. Unless someone half your age were to kill you, in which case I would swear allegiance to her blindly.
Wicked Witch of the West: Okay... What do you say I ride your broomstick for a while?
Winkie Guard: What do you mean?
Wicked Witch of the West: Fill my pointy hat.
Winkie Guard: Don't follow.
Wicked Witch of the West: POP my ruby slipper!
Winkie Guard: Totally lost.
Wicked Witch of the West: Jesus! Do I have to spell it out for you? I want to have sex with you!
Winkie Guard: Oh!... Still don't get it.
Wicked Witch of the West: ...I don't have any other words to say. Not one part of that sentence could be interpreted in any other way.
Winkie Guard: Oh, I think I see what you're saying.
Wicked Witch of the West: Good.
Winkie Guard: You want me and Henchwoman #12 to hook up? Well, don't worry, my lady. I'm still working on it.
[calling offscreen]
Winkie Guard: Hello, Henchwoman #12.
Henchwoman #12: [calling back] Still not into you, creep!
Winkie Guard: She's so into me.
Wicked Witch of the West: Oh, forget it. You're fired! I'm gonna go hit on a flying monkey.
[leaves]
Winkie Guard: I need a better union.

Wicked Witch of the West: [seeing the Critic] Hello, my pretty.
[sees his shirt]
Wicked Witch of the West: Ah, I see you're a man who likes donuts, eh?
Nostalgia Critic: Yeah?
Wicked Witch of the West: Well, what do you say we find your creamy center?
Nostalgia Critic: What d'ya mean?
Wicked Witch of the West: Do some hole punching.
Nostalgia Critic: Don't follow.
Wicked Witch of the West: Let something rise up.
Nostalgia Critic: Totally lost.
Wicked Witch of the West: What's wrong with you? I want weird wobbly witch sex.
Nostalgia Critic: Ah, I know what you're saying. You want me and the actress from "Game of Thrones", the one who plays the Albino dragon chick, to hook up. Well, don't worry. I got her on speed dial.
[dials his phone]
Nostalgia Critic: Hey, it's you-know-who.
Emilia Clarke: [on the phone] You're violating the restraining order, asshole!
Nostalgia Critic: She totally wants me.
Wicked Witch of the West: What am I missing here?

Wicked Witch of the West: [the Wicked Witch is lighting up some candles] It's hot in here and I like you very much, lover boy!
Mark: [Camera cuts to the other person in the room revealing to be Mark from The Room] Well, I mean the candles, the music, the sexy dress... what's going on here?
Wicked Witch of the West: Don't you like me? I'm your girl.
Mark: What are you doing this for?
Wicked Witch of the West: I want you.
Mark: What do you mean?
Wicked Witch of the West: I want your body.
Mark: Don't follow.
Wicked Witch of the West: I-I want to have sex with you.
Mark: Totally lost.
Mark: [Frustrated] Listen here, you bizarre man who has a picture of a spoon on his wall for some reason! I. Want. Your. Balls!
Mark: Oh, now I get it.
[Both smile; cut to the Wicked Witch looking frustrated as it's revealed that the two wound up tossing a football around]
Mark: [Before leaving] Hey, this is sexual harassment and I don't need to take it.
Wicked Witch of the West: [Long pause; confused] What just happened?


The Wiz (1978)
Lion: [Strung up by his tail in Evilene's lair] Don't give her the slippers, Dorothy!
Evillene: Is this enough for you? No? Well, how about your metal friend over there?
Tinman: [a giant piledriver begins to flatten him] Don't worry, Dorothy! I'm just an empty shell! This doesn't hurt me!

Evillene: I'm allergic to water! It makes me melt!

Evillene: [shouting as she threatens to burn Toto] Would you like sauerkraut or mustard, my dear, on your hot dog?


"Tin Man: Into the Storm (#1.1)" (2007)
Azkadellia: The little bitch has gone to see the wizard.

Azkadellia: Do you see anything that will stand in my way?
Lylo: Lylo SEES nothing... but...
Azkadellia: 'But... ' What?
Lylo: Lylo feels - a presence. A glimmer of light, in the darkness. Light from the other side.
Azkadellia: The other side...?
[Azkadellia's scrying tank shows Lylo's vision of DG's farmhouse]
Azkadellia: General Lonot, awaken a travel-storm. Take a small company of men, and slip through to the other side. Find this light... and extinguish it.


"Tin Man: Tin Man (#1.3)" (2007)
Azkadellia: Do you know how long I've waited to see that look on your face? No phony smile, no brave front... Just pure and utter *shock*. It may be the most honest gift you've ever given me, *mother*.

[Azkadellia is starting to fight against the witch's control. Images of both her past and present self flicker in and out]
Young Azkadellia: I'm scared.
DG: [tearfully, her hand outstretched] I'm here, and I'll *never* run away again! Take my hand!


"Once Upon a Time: Bleeding Through (#3.18)" (2014)
Zelena: You really don't appreciate what you have, do you?
Evil Queen: Right, because I got everything, and you have nothing. If you want your superpower to be envy, go right ahead.
Zelena: "Envy" is just another word for "ambition".

Mr. Gold: Time travel spells have been written since the dawn of the dark arts but never cast. It's against the fundamental laws of magic.
Zelena: Magic doesn't fail. People fail. Laws only exist until they're broken by someone superior.


The Wiz Live! (2015) (TV)
Evillene: If you're gonna be a wicked witch, and you're good at your job, you're gonna have to expect to rub some folks the wrong way.

Evillene: Is that my news?
Lord High Underling: It is.
Evillene: Well, when were you plannin' on lettin' me have it?
Lord High Underling: Your evilness, I'd be happy to let you have it anytime!
Evillene: Oh, you bein' funny right now. You some kind of Eddie Murphy or somethin'?


"Fame: Not in Kansas Anymore (#2.19)" (1983)
The Wicked Witch of the West: Didn't you tell me once that your cello had powers?
Mello Cello: Any creature with furs, feather or flesh cannot help but respond.
[a beat]
Mello Cello: Doesn't do a thing for fish.

The Wicked Witch of the West: Be careful with that cello. Don't scratch it!
Evil Helper: [carrying an invisible magic cello] How can you scratch something that you can't even see?
The Wicked Witch of the West: Ever have a mosquito bite between your shoulder blades?
Evil Helper: Yes.
The Wicked Witch of the West: Did you scratch it?
Evil Helper: Yes.
The Wicked Witch of the West: Did you see it?
Evil Helper: No. Talk about your smart witches.
[Wicked Witch clicks her tongue]


"Once Upon a Time: The Tower (#3.14)" (2014)
Zelena: [shaving Mr. Gold with his dagger] You're probably wondering how I know how to do this. Did I ever tell you about my father? His hands used to shake from drink or... worse. I didn't ask. He didn't tell me. But he couldn't abide going a day without a shave, so I had to learn how to shave him. He used to say that no matter what we were feeling on the inside, we had to put on our best face. In our land, you and I never had that choice, did we? No matter what we did, our outsides showed exactly what was rotting on the inside. But we're in a new land now, aren't we? A land filled with opportunity, not the least of which is to look our best.


"Once Upon a Time: New York City Serenade (#3.12)" (2014)
[last lines]
Zelena: The Queen may be evil; but I'm wicked. And wicked always wins.


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Sabrina and the Beanstalk (#2.16)" (1998)
Wicked Witch: [Sabrina has a salad zapped in front of the witch] No! No! She's turned me into a... VEGETARIAN!


"Emerald City: The Beast Forever (#1.1)" (2017)
Glinda: [accusingly] You let him do this to you.
West: No one does anything to me.


"Once Upon a Time: The Song in Your Heart (#6.20)" (2017)
Mary Margaret Blanchard: Is that all...?
Regina Mills: Black Fairy dust. Enough to curse Storybrooke ten times over.
Mary Margaret Blanchard: So that's how the Black Fairy plans to win the final battle. By separating us with a curse.
Regina Mills: It's tied to the clock tower. The moment it strikes 6:00, it'll be released.
Emma Swan: That's when Hook and I are getting married.
Zelena: Well, you've got admit, she's got a flair for the dramatic.
Emma Swan: That's it. The Black Fairy's going down right now.
Mary Margaret Blanchard: Emma, I know that you feel responsible, but this is not just your fight.
Emma Swan: She seemed to think it was.
Regina Mills: Yeah, well, the last time I checked, she doesn't get a vote. Zelena and I will figure out a way to disable this thing. I ruined your parents' wedding. The least I can do is make sure you get to enjoy yours.


The Paul Lynde Halloween Special (1976) (TV)
Paul Lynde: What about Dorothy and her little dog, Toto, in "The Wizard of Oz"?
The Wicked Witch of the West: She asked for it. And her little dog, too!