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: Now, no novocaine. It dulls the senses.
: [reading an article from "Pain" magazine in the waiting room of the dentist; giggling
] The patient came to me with a large hole in his abdomen, caused by a fire poker used on him by his wife. He almost bled to death and gangrene had set in. I didn't give him much of a chance. There were other complications. The man had cancer, tuberculosis, leprosy, and a touch of the grippe. I decided to operate.
[Seymour is impersonating Dr. Farb to a new patient
] Wilbur Force
: My name is Wilbur Force. Seymour Krelboin
: Wilbur Force what? Wilbur Force
: Just Wilbur Force. My first name is Wilbur, my last name is Force. I don't have a middle name. Seymour Krelboin
: Well, do you have an appointment, maybe? Wilbur Force
: No, but you were very highly recommended to me by one of your patients, a Mrs. S. Shiva. I do a lot of undertaking for her relatives. Seymour Krelboin
: Well, as you can see I have a customer now. And I'm all booked up for the rest of the day, so you'll have to come back tomorrow. Wilbur Force
: Oh, I couldn't do that. I have three or four abscesses, I touch of pyorrhea, nine or ten cavities, I lost my pivot tooth, and I'm in terrible pain! Seymour Krelboin
: Well I can't help you today. Wilbur Force
: Oh, that's all right. I'll just wait outside.
[the masochistic patient meets the sadistic dentist
] Arthur Denton
: I think I need a root canal. I definitely need a long, slow root canal.
[while undergoing a torturous procedure by Orin Scrivello, DDS
] Arthur Denton
: It's your professionalism that I respect.