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: It's worse than "Showgirls"!
: [during an editing session
] No, no, no! You've sodomised it!
: [beating his head
] I cut the picture. They cut the picture. I didn't cut the picture. They cut the picture...
: An Actor, he says. And I think: "Certainly he is. This is LA. EVERYONE'S an Actor."
: Use that name everyone be using! Alan Smithee
: I can't! I *am* Alan Smithee!
: I saw myself on the telly! I was in a bar off Sunset, drinking a pink gin, and I saw myself on the bloody telly!
] Alan Smithee
: And the itsy bitsy spider climbed up the spout again...