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Quotes for
Vladimir Lem (Character)
from Max Payne (2001) (VG)

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Max Payne 2: The Fall of Max Payne (2003) (VG)
Max Payne: What about Mona Sax?
Vladimir Lem: I know of her, her reputation as a hired killer. I hear she is a stone fox. I would fuck her.
Max Payne: [narrating] Right then, I hated Vlad.

Vladimir Lem: I hate to do this, but you know how you are, you would never let it go.
Max Payne: [narrating] Einstein was right. Time is relative to the observer. When you're looking down the barrel of a gun time slows down, your whole life flashes by, heartbreak and scars. Stay with it, and you can live a lifetime in that split second.
Vladimir Lem: Besides, a gentleman always avenges the insults done to his lady. You did kill Winterson.
[shoots Max in the head]

[repeated line]
Vladimir Lem: Dearest of all my friends...

[Vlad's final words]
Vladimir Lem: Max, dearest of all my friends. I was supposed to be the hero.

Vladimir Lem: Hypothetically, if the only choice you've got is to do the wrong thing, then it's not really the *wrong* thing, it's more like fate.

Vladimir Lem: [answering machine] I'm coming to kill you, old man. You really know how to piss me off, you know... Would it have killed you to say 'thank you' for once in your life? To say 'Vlad, my son... can I call you my son because I sure do love you like one.' 'Vlad my son, you are a true prodigy. Everything you touch turns to gold.' Oh... wait, it *is* going to kill you! I'm done doing your dirty work for you. You should be proud. I have learned all you've taught me. I'm coming to show you.

Vladimir Lem: Have no fear, Vlad is here...

Vladimir Lem: [standing on top of a platform in a glass paneled dome, out of Max Payne's line of fire] You know the old man used to come up here all the time, to stare out at his kingdom. He was lord of all he surveyed, but now he's dead. Are you paying attention, Max?
[throws a bomb at Max]

Vladimir Lem: Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to present Max Payne, New York's finest, with the biggest mobster body count ever. Dearest guests, prepare to die! Max! I'd love to come and welcome you, but I'm busy dodging bullets and hiding under a desk at the moment!

Max Payne: Vlad, shut up and stay alive. I'm coming.
Vladimir Lem: Max! You heard him. He's coming for you!

Vladimir Lem: What the fuck is wrong with you, Max? Why don't you just die? You hate life, you're miserable all the time, afraid to enjoy yourself even a little! Face it, you might as well be dead already. Do yourself a favor, give up!

Vladimir Lem: You have wrecked my restaurant twice now. You can be so damn uncompromising, fanatical about these things, Max. One of these days, it's going to get you killed. You should be glad, Max! I did you a favor, finished off your revenge for you. The murderer of your loved ones is dead!

Vladimir Lem: [to Vinnie] The way your hands are shaking you couldn't hit a truck!


Max Payne (2001) (VG)
Vladimir: I'm going to make you an offer you can't refuse. I've always wanted to say that.

Vladimir: You get everything you need?
Max Payne: Check.
Vladimir: I owe you. Anything you need.
Max Payne: This is my solo. When I'm through, Punchinello won't be anybody's problem anymore.
Vladimir: Clear as vodka. But anytime you get between a rock and a hard place, just whistle. This could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Max Payne: You really get a bang out of this big-time gangster act, don't you?

Vladimir: Clear as vodka.

Vladimir: There's this guy, Boris Dime, used to pull jobs for me. He's the captain of the cargo ship Charon. Now that bastard turncoat's gone over to the other side, Punchenello's. The ship's loaded with high-res hardware, guns, my business. If Punchenello gets a hold of that cargo, he's won and I have lost, and you'll have your work cut out for you. If you want to get to Punchenello you'll need heavy duty persuaders. I'm just the man to get them for you. Change the ship back under my flag, maybe pop two in the traitor Dime's head while you're at it... you'll have enough guns to start the apocalypse.