Mike Flaherty
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Quotes for
Mike Flaherty (Character)
from "Spin City" (1996)

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"Spin City: The Pig Whisperer (#4.18)" (2000)
Mike Flaherty: You gave him a 10?
Judge: 10 out of 12.
Mike Flaherty: 12? How come?
Judge: The first judge have 12 fingers.
Mike Flaherty: Oh my god. What a freak.
Judge: [Showing 12 fingers on his hands] He was my grandpa!

Mike Flaherty: Tell you what... I'll make a deal with you. You do this for me, when we build that Performing Arts Center we will name it after you.
James Hobert: It will be called 'The James Hobert Performing Arts Center'?
Mike Flaherty: Around the office... it will.


"Spin City: A River Runs Through Me (#2.19)" (1998)
Mike Flaherty: [Mike trying to quell the anger of insulting the local Native-Americans] Once again Chief, the Mayor and I would like to apologise for yesterdays unfortunate misunderstanding. We would like you to come to City Hall and we thought we'd all take the bowl down to the Museum of Natural History together.
Chief Phil: I don't know, Mr Flaherty. You can't pacify us with some hollow ceremony. We feel...
Mike Flaherty: We'll plug your new casino.
Chief Phil: Done.

Mike Flaherty: Carter, as always I appreciate your initiative. Programming our computers to automatically replace the word black with the more politically correct African American, that was, that's, that's just smart thinking.
Carter Heywood: Something should have been done long ago.
Mike Flaherty: Yeah. I'm holding in my hand one of a thousand invitations that went out for the Mayor's press corp dinner next week. It's obviously a formal event because
[pause]
Mike Flaherty: African American tie is required.


"Spin City: Internal Affairs (#3.16)" (1999)
Mike Flaherty: By 8:00, I was excited. By 8:30, I was even more excited. By 9:00, I could say with out exaggeration that I could not get more excited. By 10:00, that excitement changed into something else. Let's call it tension. And you know me... I'm a problem solver.
Nikki Faber: Oh, Mike.
Mike Flaherty: What can I say? I had some wine, I was thinking of you, and the next thing I know, I'm all over myself.


"Spin City: Gobble the Wonder Turkey Saves the Day (#3.10)" (1998)
Mike Flaherty: [Mayor's daughter is not coming for Thanksgiving] Well sir, look on the bright side. At least your Dad's coming.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Now don't get me wrong, my father and I have this wonderful, healthy relationship. We just don't like each other.


"Spin City: They Shoot Horses, Don't They? (#2.11)" (1997)
Stacey Paterno: The dry cleaner said he can clean the coat, no problem.
Mike Flaherty: I love Mr. Kim.
Stacey Paterno: Yeah, but he was lying.
Nikki Faber: Wait, how can you possibly know that ?
Stacey Paterno: Oh, I can tell when people are lying. It's a gift.
James Hobert: You know, I have a friend who can do the same thing.
Stacey Paterno: No, you don't.
James Hobert: Ok. it's a friend of a friend.
Mike Flaherty: So, the other day when Carter said he was feeling sick and he had to go home early.
[Stacey shakes her head ]
Carter Heywood: Hey ! I was feeling a little sale at Barneys.
Mike Flaherty: What if I were to say that I were the worlds greatest lover ?
Stacey Paterno: I'd say that you believe it to be true.
Mike Flaherty: Right, that's good enough for me.


"Spin City: Klumageddon: Part 2 (#3.26)" (1999)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [Mike has just told the Mayor that Janelle wants to break-up with him] Ah, she's been trying to tell me for a while and I just couldn't listen. Well, I'm going down gracefully. I don't want to make this uncomfortable for her. Gonna write her a letter.
Mike Flaherty: That's a nice idea, Sir.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [pushes the intercom] Janelle, could you come in and take some dictation.


"Spin City: The Kidney's All Right (#3.9)" (1998)
Mike Flaherty: [in hospital] Doc, this operation, it won't hurt, will it?
Dr. Cosimi: You shouldn't feel a thing.
Mike Flaherty: Shouldn't? You mean won't, right? Or definitely will not.
Dr. Cosimi: Yes, most likely will not.


"Spin City: One Wedding and a Funeral: Part 2 (#2.18)" (1998)
Mike Flaherty: Will you do me the honor of being my best man?
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: The honor would be all mine. And I don't want you to think, for a minute, that you're making a mistake just because my marriage was a total disaster.
Mike Flaherty: Right. Well sir, I'm... I'm sure there was some... some good times.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Nope! My marriage was twenty-five years of root canal with no anesthetic. A never ending plane ride with a cabin full of crying babies.
Mike Flaherty: Sir, save some of that for the toast.


"Spin City: Goodbye: Part 1 (#4.25)" (2000)
Mike Flaherty: Sir, who are you with in this picture?
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Ah, that's Nikki's boyfriend. We went on a fishing trip together.
Mike Flaherty: This is Tony DiMarco. He's the President of Thunderbird Sanitation... he's a known mobster.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: I thought it was odd when he said, Let's go wack some fish.


"Spin City: Taxi Driver (#3.13)" (1999)
[On Nikki & Arthur]
Mike: So, What's with the big night?
Carter: I thought you were over her.
Mike: I lie a lot. What are you new here?


"Spin City: The Mayor with Two Brains (#3.23)" (1999)
Paul Lassiter: Can't believe they called off our softball game, last night.
Carter Heywood: Yea, that's a shame.
Mike Flaherty: Hey, nice game last night everybody. Carter clutch hit in the seventh.
Paul Lassiter: [disappointed] Well, there sounds like there was a game last night.
Mike Flaherty: No, you know, as a matter of fact, they... they cancelled the rest of the season. Everybody else, our book club meets tonight at seven. On field three.


"Spin City: Dick Clark's Rockin' Make-Out Party '99 (#3.17)" (1999)
Stuart Bondek: [Mike puts a hundred dollars on the table to make Deidre drop the law-suit] Mike, if you keep throwing money around she just gonna start dancing.
Deidre West: Your a toad.
Stuart Bondek: Your a tramp.
Deidre West: [Deidre and Stuart get up to fight with Mike in the middle] OK, that's it. Let's go daisy boy.
Mike Flaherty: Stuart, Get out! Get out! Go!
Stuart Bondek: I slept with your sister!
Deidre West: I was there, you idiot.


"Spin City: A Star Is Born (#1.6)" (1996)
James Hobert: [talking about disgraced candidate] You said there would be a show of support for him.
Mike Flaherty: Yes, Yes... a show of support. Not actual support.


"Spin City: Uneasy Rider (#4.19)" (2000)
Caitlin Moore: [at the funeral wake for the Mayor's father] How is the Mayor, is he OK?
Mike Flaherty: He was a little rough this morning but I think he's going to pull through.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [enters the chapel] I'm sorry everyone, I got stuck in traffic. I guess my dad's not the only late Randall Winston... Haa... oh... tough crowd... Gees who died?


"Spin City: Wall Street (#3.24)" (1999)
Stacey Paterno: So James, I heard you won three hundred dollars last night.
Paul Lassiter: If Mike wasn't helping him I would have cleaned his clock.
Mike Flaherty: Paul, the last time you went to Atlantic City you lost forty dollars in the stamp machine.
Paul Lassiter: They put them next to the slot machines just to get ya.


"Spin City: Same Time Next Year (#2.13)" (1998)
[first lines]
Mike Flaherty: Finally, a little matter of the Mayor's New Year Eve party tonight. Now, you're not obligated to go but attendance is mandatory.


"Spin City: An Officer and a Gentleman (#3.7)" (1998)
Carter Heywood: Michael. May I come in?
Mike Flaherty: Come in... Come out... We're doing everything today.


"Spin City: Dead Dog Talking (#3.1)" (1998)
James Hobert: Mike, I'm proud of you.
Mike Flaherty: This is what I hear.
James Hobert: I know it sounds silly but I grew up without an older brother and I guess I need someone in my life to look up to. And Mike, 'You Complete Me'.
Mike Flaherty: James, you had be at proud.


"Spin City: How to Bury a Millionaire (#4.8)" (1999)
Mike Flaherty: [Mayor has fallen into a deep hole] James, you wait here and make sure no one finds out about this.
James Hobert: I'm going to wait here better than anyone, Mike.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [from the hole] What am I suppose to do?
James Hobert: Aaah, pretend your Bugs Bunny.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: I don't think that's a good idea.
James Hobert: Why is that, Sir?
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: It's Wabbit Season.


"Spin City: All the Mayor's Men (#4.3)" (1999)
Mike Flaherty: [getting Carter to help with break-in at Mayor's office] Carter, I need help.
Carter Heywood: Ha, I see. Need a break-in, get a black man to help. Black People know all about committing crimes.
Mike Flaherty: I didn't say that. Don't be so sensitive.
Carter Heywood: Oooh, Gay man too sensitive.
Mike Flaherty: If it so offensive to you, you know, fine, don't help.
Carter Heywood: No, no, sounds cool. I'm in.


"Spin City: Porn in the U.S.A. (#2.2)" (1997)
Paul Lassiter: [talking about women] they will just dump you, lock you out of your apartment, never return your calls...
James Hobert: Are you talking about Claudia?
Paul Lassiter: [softly] maybe.
Paul Lassiter: Could you imagine how pathetic my life might seem if my mom had not let me move back in with her?
Mike Flaherty: Paul, I think I speak for all of us when I say, 'we can only guess'.


"Spin City: Don't Get on the Bus (#4.21)" (2000)
Mike Flaherty: You don't need a statement. There is no story here.
Reporter #2: Are you, are you trying the Jedi mind trick on us?


"Spin City: The Goodbye Girl (#2.4)" (1997)
Carter Heywood: I do have another idea, but it's a little far fetched.
Mike Flaherty: I don't care, I'm desperate.
Carter Heywood: All right. You're going to have to get your hands on a time machine.


"Spin City: The Paul Bearer (#2.24)" (1998)
James Hobert: Mike, the band called there not going to show. They get a better offer to play the funeral.
Mike Flaherty: Alright, from now on you are the band.
James Hobert: Cool! Can I be Loverboy?


"Spin City: Three Men and a Little Lady (#3.6)" (1998)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [entering staff meeting the day after getting mugged] Well, I just want everyone to know, I'm OK. It was pretty scary, though. Should have seen this guy, he was huge.
Mike Flaherty: [the staff knows that they got mugged by a girl] Sir, they all know.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [disappointed] Oh... , Paul ran like a sissy.


"Spin City: That's Entertainment (#3.20)" (1999)
James: Mike, proud of you!
Mike: This is what i hear...
James: I know it sounds a little silly... you know i grew up without an older brother and i guess i need someone in my life to look up to... mike you complete me...
Mike: James, You had me at proud!


"Spin City: The Marrying Men (#2.17)" (1998)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [Mayor going to give advice about marriage] Mike, let me tell you a little bit about marriage...
Mike Flaherty: Sir, I met Laurie when she was your ex-wife's divorce lawyer.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: Well, that about sums it up.


"Spin City: Not in the Line of Fire (#3.15)" (1999)
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: [the Mayor is paranoid about getting killed after an incident] I'm a public figure , Mike. Now I know this sounds silly to you, but yesterday made me feel very venerable.
Mike Flaherty: Why all of the sudden, now? I mean, you've been mayor for three years.
Mayor Randall M. Winston Jr.: I use to be married to Helen, I didn't care if I got shot.


"Spin City: Gentleman's Agreement (#2.15)" (1998)
Mike Flaherty: [learning the Mayor is at the club] I'm heading down to Cabot House, you go back and hold down the fort.
Carter Heywood: Fine, but it I hear you had a hamburger or got a massage, so help me God there's going to be trouble.