Yakko Warner
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Quotes for
Yakko Warner (Character)
from "Animaniacs" (1993)

The content of this page was created by users. It has not been screened or verified by IMDb staff.
Animaniacs: Wakko's Wish (1999) (V)
Yakko Warner: [Dot has been 'mortally wounded' by Salazar's canon. Yakko is holding her in his arms with Wakko crouching near them] Dot... can you hear me?
Dot Warner: [weakly opens eyes, takes Yakko's hand and nuzzles against it. She looks up at him, smiling weakly] Tell me the story...
Yakko Warner: What?
Dot Warner: [weakly] The story... about mom and dad... tell me
Dot Warner: one last time...
Yakko Warner: You should rest...
Dot Warner: [cough] Once upon a time, a brave knight married a beautiful princess... and they had two sons. But they wanted a daughter, to... so they planted a garden...
Yakko Warner: [softly] And out of the prettiest flower came...
Dot Warner: [smiles weakly] Me.
Yakko Warner: [Everyone is watching the scene with tears in their eyes] So then mom and dad took you home
[is cradling Dot closer in his arms]
Yakko Warner: and everynight at bedtime, they'd come in and ask "Who the cutest girl?" and you'd say...
Dot Warner: [weakly] I am.
Yakko Warner: And they'd ask "How did you get so cute?" and you'd say...
Dot Warner: [cough]
Dot Warner: I was born that way...
Yakko Warner: And they'd say..."tell us your name?"... and you'd say...
Dot Warner: [weakly] "Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Francesca
Dot Warner: Banana Fanna Bo Besca the Third" but you can call me
Dot Warner: Dot...
Yakko Warner: [voice breaking slightly] and they'd ask..."Can we call you Dottie?"
[tears stream down his face]
Yakko Warner: and you'd say...
Dot Warner: [Very weakly] No... just Dot... call me... Dottie...
[points to Yakko]
Dot Warner: and you...
[hand falls to her side]
Dot Warner: die...
Dot Warner: [Yakko starts to cry and nuzzles against Dot's head]

King Salazar: When will this insanity stop?
Dot Warner, Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner: I know! Pick me! Pick me! I know!
King Salazar: Yes, you.
Dot Warner: Daaaaah... what was the question?
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner: Good Answer! All right!

Wakko Warner: If only I'd earned more...
Yakko Warner: Hey, we'll find some other way to pay for her operation.
Wakko Warner: I guess so...
Yakko Warner: You turning in?
Wakko Warner: ...To what?
Yakko Warner: ...Good question. See you in the morning.
Wakko Warner: Good night.

Yakko Warner: [after the Warners have thrown a sled named Rosebud on the open fire] What do you want from us? We're freezing here!

Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner: [singing Jingle Bells] Sailing through the slush/In a wind-blown wagon sled/Down the road we mush/Dot is still in bed!
Dot Warner: [singing] I'm getting really bored/I've read this magazine/If we don't get there soon/I think I'm gonna scream!
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: [sings the chorus] Oh, wishing star, from afar/Dot is getting worse/Be a sport and grant our wish or we'll sing another verse!

Yakko Warner: [looking at a ravine] Wow, just don't look down.
Wakko Warner: Do you get Vertigo?
Yakko Warner: Nah.
Wakko Warner: Me neither.
Yakko Warner: Yeah. I've seen that movie three times and I still don't get it.

King Salazar: [talking about King Salazar's wishes] How about fame and fortune?
Yakko Warner: Here's Fame with Irene Cara and a subscription to Fortune Magazine!

King Salazar: How about the Midas touch? Everything I touch will turn to gold.
Yakko Warner: Yeah, including food. Try eating a solid gold turkey. Adios bicuspids!

Yakko Warner, Dot Warner, Wakko Warner: [singing] We're leaving Acme Falls to find the wishing star/ we're heading off to seek our dream come true/ It's waiting right out there/ the answer to our prayer.
Wakko Warner: A wish for free...
Yakko Warner, Dot Warner: That you might be a multimillionaire, that's why/ we're off to seek our destiny together...
Yakko Warner: It's one for all...
Wakko Warner: And all for one...
Dot Warner: Times three!
Yakko Warner, Dot Warner, Wakko Warner: Who cares about the stuff we lack/ we're on our way and we won't be back...
Wakko Warner: Until we find that star.
Dot Warner: Gee, it looks kind of far.
Yakko Warner: Too bad we don't have a car.
Yakko Warner, Dot Warner, Wakko Warner: Oh, what the hey! We're on our way/ to find the wishing star! We're leaving Acme Falls to find the wishing star/ and when we do, our troubles are gonna be through/ It's just around the bend/ it's where the mountains end/ We're packing our load/ we're hitting the road/ let's sing it together again - Hey hey! We want to be the first to touch the wishing star/ We're northward bound/ we're leaving town today!
Yakko Warner: We're taking a stand...
Wakko Warner: We're making a vow...
Dot Warner: This is the place...
Yakko Warner, Dot Warner, Wakko Warner: The moment is now! We're Yakko, Wakko and Dot/ We're giving it all we've got!
Dot Warner: We're coming, so ready or not...
Yakko Warner, Dot Warner, Wakko Warner: Today's the day/ we're on our way to find the wishing star!

King Salazar: You horrible children! Who taught you how to behave?
Wakko Warner: [sadly] No one, sir.
Dot Warner: You see - cough! Cough! We're orphans.
King Salazar: Yes, well, everyone has problems.
Yakko Warner: [Bambi eyes] You know, we'd SO like to be adopted.
Wakko Warner: Will you be our new daddy?
King Salazar: Certainly not!
Dot Warner: [jumps on him] Buy me a toy, daddy! Buy me a toy, buy me a toy, buy me a toy!
Wakko Warner: Oh, please Dad! Do!
King Salazar: I'm not your father!
Yakko Warner: That's not what Mommy said.

King Salazar: I know - I'll wish for a million bucks. No! Make that two million bucks!
Yakko Warner: Sounds good to me.
[Salazar is suddenly trampled by a herd of male deer]
Yakko Warner: Just be glad it's not mating season.
[One of the deer makes a romantic face at Salazar]

Yakko Warner: Oh, riiiight! The secrets about the wishing star- right! Yeah. You see, the key to the whole thing is... Uh, you got a little something in your nose.
King Salazar: Huh? Where?
Yakko Warner: Right there.
King Salazar: [sniffs] Did I get it?
Yakko Warner: Yeah - noooo, no, still there.
King Salazar: [sniffs again] How about now?
Yakko Warner: Now it's over there. Ooh.
King Salazar: [wipes] How about now?
Yakko Warner: No. Ugh.
Dot Warner, Wakko Warner: Ewww! Get it! Get it! Get it!
Yakko Warner: Please! Could you go to the bathroom and take care of it? Oof. I mean, whoops!
King Salazar: Oh, all right!
[Goes into the bathroom. Wakko jumps down and locks the door]
Yakko Warner, Dot Warner, Wakko Warner: [dancing] We're in charge! We're in charge!

"Animaniacs: Distasterpiece Theatre/Hercule Yakko/Home on De-Nile/A Midsummer Night's Dream (#1.25)" (1993)
Yakko: That you have but slumbered here While these visions did appear.
Dot: [translating for the audience] You fell asleep on your butt and dreamt the whole thing.

Yakko: And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream,
Dot: [translating for the audience] There's a hole in the plot a truck could drive through.

Yakko: Gentles, do not reprehend.
Dot: [translating for the audience] Honeys, don't blame us, you could have been watching Oprah.

Yakko: And, as I am an honest Puck,
Dot: [translating for the audience] I'm not touchin' that one.

Yakko: If we have unearnèd luck Now to 'scape the serpent's tongue,
Dot: [translating for the audience] What he said.

Yakko: And Robin shall restore amends.
Dot: [translating for the audience] And the Boy Wonder will come to our rescue.
[Batmobile pulls up, Warners hop in]

Yakko: [He and Dot are dressed in detective outfits] Number one sister! Dust for prints!
[she pulls out a feather duster]
Yakko: [goes over to Wakko, who is reclined in an easy chair] Doctor Wakko, it could be a long night. Better order some pizzas.
Wakko Warner: [picks up a telephone next to the chair] I'd like forty-two pizzas, six with no crusts.
[smiles at camera]
Yakko: [goes over to Flavio and Marita] Now - Do you have any enemies?
Flavio Hippo, Marita Hippo: No.
Yakko: Do you have any creditors?
Flavio Hippo, Marita Hippo: No.
Yakko: Well then...
[he runs over to a piano and begins playing it]
Yakko: Do you have any requests? Thank you so much!
[picks up a mic and begins singing]
Yakko: Way down, Jack / Upon the Nile River, Jack...
Dot: I found Prince!
[she holds the musical artist Prince in her arms]
Yakko: No no no, *finger*prints!
[he wiggles his fingers]
Dot: [looks at Prince, he smiles at her, then puts his head back in a "facepalm"; Dot shakes her head to the camera] I don't think so.
[she tosses him out a window]

Dot: Look, I found Prince!
[Dot comes in carrying the rock star Prince]
Yakko: No no no, fingerprints.
Dot: [pause] I don't think so.

Yakko: [Yakko is reciting Puck's final monologue from A Midsummer Night's Dream while Dot translates] If we shadows have offended, think but this and all is mended.
Dot: If the actors in our show made you mad, it will be okay if you look at it this way!
Yakko: That you have but slumbered here while these visions did appear.
Dot: You fell asleep on your butt and dreamed the whole thing.
Yakko: And this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream.
Dot: There was a hole in the plot you can drive a truck through.
[behind the action, Wakko is picking flowers and is swatted by a group a fairies. He sprays them away with a fire hose]
Yakko: Gentles, do not reprehend...
Dot: Honeys, don't blame us. You could be watching Oprah.
Yakko: If you pardon, we will mend.
Dot: But we're sorry and we promise our next show will be full of funny skits.
Wakko Warner: [Wakko continues to pick flowers when a very sexy fairy emerges] Hello pixie!
[he chases after her]
Yakko: And, as I am an honest Puck...
Dot: I'm not touching that one.
Yakko: If we have unearned luck now to 'scape the serpent's tongue.
Dot: What he said.
Yakko: We will make amends ere long!
Dot: We'll buy you foot long hot dogs!
Yakko: Else the Puck a liar call: So, good night unto you all.
[he blows a kiss]
Dot: Goodnight everybody!
Yakko: Give me your hands, if we be friends.
Dot: Applaud if you like us!
Wakko Warner: [the pixie Wakko has been chasing after comes up behind him enraged. He tries to give her flowers while she tries to swat him with a huge fly swatter] And Robin shall restore amends.
Dot: And the Boy Wonder will save us.
[the Batmobile drives up and the Warners all jump in it, and it drives away]

"Animaniacs: Baloney & Kids/Super Buttons/Katie Ka-Boom: The Driving Lesson (#1.61)" (1994)
Yakko Warner: Is that cute girl coming back?
Baloney: Cute girl? Goshums, Yakko, I don't know what you're talking about.
Yakko Warner: There's a shocker.

Baloney: [holding a paper plate, with a face drawn on it in front of his own face] Guess who.
Wakko Warner: Is it... Abraham Lincoln?
Baloney: [laughs] No.
Dot Warner: Hmm... could it be Nancy Kerrigan?
Baloney: [laughs] No.
Yakko Warner: Is it a... big, fat polyester dinosaur, who's the color of an international house of pancakes, with a paper plate over his face?
Baloney: No. It's me, Baloney!
Wakko Warner, Dot Warner, Yakko Warner: You're kidding!

Baloney: You're silly.
Yakko Warner: Boy, that's the pot calling the kettle, black.

Wakko Warner: Are we being punished?
Yakko Warner, Dot Warner: Yes.

Yakko Warner: It was harsh but it had to be done.
[Baloney starts laughing]

Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: [singing] We love you
Baloney: I love we!
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: [pointing at Baloney] He's as dumb as dumb can be
Baloney: Yep
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: [singing] But we found a way that we can get along
Baloney: [singing] I stand still for the anvil song
[laughs then gets crushed by a falling anvil]

"Animaniacs: De-Zanitized/The Monkey Song/Nighty-Night Toon (#1.1)" (1993)
Dr. Scratchensniff: I know what you kids want... you want to talk to Mr. Puppet Head!
[imitating another character]
Dr. Scratchensniff: Hello, kids. I'm Mr. Puppet Head. Tell me why you kids make the jokes?
[the Warners are silent]
Dr. Scratchensniff: Why aren't you talking to Mr. Puppet Head? No no, it's very simple watch this... Hello, Mr. Puppet Head. How are you?
[imitating Mr. Puppet Head]
Dr. Scratchensniff: I am fine, Dr. Scratchensniff. How are you?
[normal voice]
Dr. Scratchensniff: I am fine, Mr. Puppet Head. Did you have a yummy breakfast?
[imitating Mr. Puppet Head]
Dr. Scratchensniff: Oh, yes. Very yummy. How was your breakfast?
[normal voice]
Dr. Scratchensniff: Mine was as yummy as yours.
[to the Warners]
Dr. Scratchensniff: Now, you see? Isn't that easy?
Yakko: Are you sure you don't need to see a P-psychiatrist?
Dr. Scratchensniff: I AM a P-psych... I mean a psychiatrist! I AM! I AM! I AM!
[uses the hand his puppet is on to tear off his hair]
Yakko: Mr. Puppet Head's hungry.

Dr. Scratchensniff: Any word that comes to mind.
Yakko: Brain.
Dr. Scratchensniff: But we haven't started.
Yakko: Begun.
Dr. Scratchensniff: No, wait.
Yakko: Yield.
Dr. Scratchensniff: Stop!
Yakko: Cease.
Dr. Scratchensniff: SILENCE!
Yakko: Quiet.
Dr. Scratchensniff: ENOUGH!
Yakko: Plenty.
Dr. Scratchensniff: Would you please listen?
Yakko: Hear.
Yakko: Comprehend.
Dr. Scratchensniff: Get out! Get out! Get OUT!
Yakko: Leave, leave, leave.
Dr. Scratchensniff: These Varner Brothers are driving me crazy!
Yakko: Insane. Unhinged. Demented.

Narrator: Inside the Water Tower room there was a log flume and a picture of a big baboon.
Ralph the Guard: Huh?
Narrator: And three little toons acting like goons.
Yakko: I'm Yakko
Wakko: I'm Wakko.
Dot: And I'm cute!
Narrator: A dog and a cat.
Runt: Cat? Where's a cat?
Narrator: And a big-headed rat
The Brain: I'm a mouse, not a rat.

Narrator: In this room and in this verse are Dr. Scratchensniff and...
Wakko, Yakko: Hello Nurse!

Dr. Scratchensniff: Do you know who I am?
[the Warners run to three contestant podiums with their names. Yakko pushes a button on his]
Yakko: Dr. Otto Scratchensniff world famous psycho-analyst to the stars?
Dr. Scratchensniff: Correct.
Yakko: I won! I won!
[he leaps into Scratchensniff's arms]
Yakko: What did I win?
Dr. Scratchensniff: Nothing.
Yakko: Say what kinda game show is this?
Dr. Scratchensniff: This isn't a game show.
Yakko: I'll say it isn't. Nobody wins anything. You'll be lucky to be on the air for one week.

Dr. Scratchensniff: What do you want?
Yakko: We asked you first.
Dr. Scratchensniff: Well, I want... no you didn't!
Dot: Well we meant to.

"Animaniacs: Mobster Mash/Lake Titicaca/Icebreakers (#1.48)" (1993)
[from "Mobster Mash"]
Don Pepperoni: [to Mobster henchmen] Show these kids the door!
Yakko: That's OK, we can see it from here.
[Mobster henchmen pick the Warners up and carry them bodily to the door]
Yakko: Ooh, nice door.
Wakko: Faboo!
Dot: Great hinges.
[camera changes to outside the restaurant as the Warners are thrown flying out the door]
Yakko: [to his siblings] Was it something we said?

[from "Mobster Mash"]
Don Pepperoni: I can have you all fitted for cement shoes!
Yakko: Ooh, could I see something in a perky pump?
[Yakko shows a bit of leg]

[from "Mobster Mash"]
Don Pepperoni: You're gonna be sleeping with the fishies tonight!
Yakko: Can we all go?
Wakko: Is Jimmy Hoffa there?
Dot: Will he read to us?

[from "Mobster Mash"]
Yakko: So what'll it be Daddoo? The calamari or the squid?
Don Pepperoni: The calamari *is* squid.
Yakko: Well, how 'bout the pasta or the noodles.
Don Pepperoni: The pasta *is* noodles.
Yakko: Well, would you like red sauce or marinara?
Don Pepperoni: Marinara *is* red sauce!
Yakko: Zucchini or squash? Ham or prosciutto? Drink or beverage?
Don Pepperoni: [yelling] *They're all the same!*
Yakko: [to Dot] Do you realize this eliminates more than half of our menu?

[from "Mobster Mash"]
Don Pepperoni: [to Warners] Out, out, out, out!
[the Mobster henchmen yet again pick up the Warners and carry them bodily to the door]
Yakko: Was the song really that bad?
[camera yet again changes to outside the restaurant as somehow it is Don Pepperoni and his Mobster henchmen that are thrown flying out the door]
Don Pepperoni, Mobster, Mobster: [on landing] Ugh!

"Animaniacs: Branimaniacs/The Warners and the Beanstalk/Frontier Slappy (#1.51)" (1994)
Cow Salesman: Okay, tell ya what, I'll give you a bean for that cow.
Yakko Warner: A bean? A bean? You should be ashamed of yourself. Why, she's worth at least, uh... three beans.
Cow Salesman: Deal.

Magic Harp: Hello. Please save me!
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner: Hello, harp!
Yakko Warner: She's a dream.
Wakko Warner: She's a princess.
Dot Warner: She's a woman with a harp stuck to her back. Boys...

Ralph the Guard: Pea, pie, poo, kerplot. I smells Yakko, Wakko and Dot!
Yakko Warner: Don't you mean "Fee-fi-fo-fum"?
Ralph the Guard: Yeah, but it don't rhymes with Dot.

Yakko Warner: [rhyming à la Dr. Suess] I'm sure you'll love this, have a seat. Here's your meal, gold eggs and meat.
Ralph the Guard: I does not like gold eggs and meat, It's you who I would like to eat.

Yakko Warner: Eat them, eat them on a cloud.
Ralph the Guard: Oh, all right, for crying out loud!
[takes the plate and swallows the meal]
Ralph the Guard: Mmmmm! Gold eggs and meat I do not hate.
Yakko Warner: But now those clouds won't hold your weight.
Ralph the Guard: Gee, I never thought about that.
[Ralph falls through the cloud, crashing into the ground bellow]
Ralph the Guard: Fee-fi-fo-fum, I fall down and hurt my bum.

"Animaniacs: Draculee, Draculaa/Phranken-Runt (#1.29)" (1993)
Yakko: On second thought let's start the search tomorrow. I'm tired.
Wakko: I'm hungry.
Dot: I'm cute.
Dot: Hey I can't help it if I'm cute.

Dracula: You can't make a fool out of me.
Yakko: [dress up Dracula in a fool outfit] Well, you can't blame a guy for trying.

Yakko: [to Dracula] Does Batman know you're wearing his cape, so badly?

Wakko: [talking about Dracula] That guy sure dresses funny.
Dot: This is Pennsylvania, Wakko. He's probably Amish.
Yakko: I'll handle him. I saw "Witness" twice.
[opens the door for Dracula]

Dracula: I am Count Dracula.
Yakko: Didn't you use to teach math on Sesame Street?

"Animaniacs: King Yakko (#1.10)" (1993)
Yakko: Citiziens of Anvilania. I stand before you, 'cause if I was behind you you wouldn't see me.

Umlatt: This is the uniform of a great man.
Yakko: Does he know you're wearing it?

Dot: Do you think this will work?
Yakko: It better, we don't have any more comercial breaks.

Yakko: I've got a punishment for you that's fair, just, and clever. Or maybe just fairly clever.

Prime Minister Nurse: [to Yakko] Hurry your majesty, these are desperate times, you must meet the cabinet!
Yakko: [talking to an actual cabinet] Hello I'm Yakko, nice to meet you.
[opens a drawer as if to shake it's hand]
Yakko: Oh, the pleasure's all mine.
Prime Minister Nurse: [confused] Sire?
Yakko: [to her] Wait till we're alone!
[wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at her]

"Animaniacs: Hooked on a Ceiling/Goodfeathers: The Beginning (#1.4)" (1993)
Wakko: Yakko, I'm confused.
Yakko: What else is new?

Yakko Warner: Friends, we'll paint any ceiling for just 29.95. Right! How do we do it? No overhead. In fact, when we get through, you'll have nothing overhead! And if you hire us, you'll have nothing in your head! We paint ceilings, ceilings and ONLY ceilings! We don't paint floors cuz they're beneath us.

[the Warners are "helping" Michelangelo paint the Sistine Chapel ceiling]
Michelangelo: It's supposed to look like THIS!
[unfurls a draft of the ceiling artwork]
Dot Warner: [gasps] More naked people!
Yakko Warner: Hey, Mike, I wouldn't go flashing that thing around here if I were you.
Yakko Warner: This is a church.

Yakko: Wait a minute. You expect us poor innocent children to climb up dangerous scaffolding and paint naked people all over a church? We'll do it! But we're not doing it for the sake of art and we're not doing it for the sake of money. No, we're doing it because... we like painting naked people.

"Animaniacs: Cutie and the Beast/Boo Happens/Noel (#4.2)" (1996)
[the show has just ended]
Dot: Phew! Am I glad that's over!
Yakko: Oh! I have a headache this big, and it's got Warner Brothers written all over it!

Yakko: Hey, you wanna go get a cappuccino?
Dot: Sure. Wakko, you coming?
Wakko: Nah, I got a date.
Yakko: When do you *not* have a date?
Wakko: [angrily] I got a date! So sue me!
Dot: She will!

[During the credits]
Yakko: [Sarcastic] Ooh goodie. Here come the storyboard artists.
Wakko: What do they do?
Yakko: Besides drawing us off-model and taking three hour coffee breaks, not much.

[Dot keeps flubbing her lines]
Yakko: I'm Yakko.
Wakko: I'm Wakko.
Dot: And I'm Princess Angelina Contessa Louisa Franchesca Banana Falana... Arrrgh!
Director: Cut!
Yakko: Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Banana Falana.
Wakko: [laughing] Banana Falana!
Dot: Oh, thanks for your support, Mr. P Pop Into the Mic!
Wakko: Oh, pooh! I never pop my P's!
Director: Uh, Wakko? We got a big P pop on "pooh". Could we have that again?
Dot: Ha!

I'm Mad (1994)
Dot Warner: Hey, watch out!
Yakko Warner: What's the matter?
Dot Warner: You almost knocked me off the ladder!
Yakko Warner: No, I didn't!
Dot Warner: Yes you did; I almost fell!
Yakko Warner: Don't exaggerate.
Dot Warner: I'm not.
Dot Warner: Yeah, right.
Dot Warner: Are you trying to pick a fight?
Yakko Warner: Will you get out of my face?
Dot Warner: Well, you're always in my space!

Dot Warner: That's my toothbrush!
Yakko Warner: No, it's not!
Dot Warner: Well, it's sitting in my slot.
Yakko Warner: No it isn't; this is mine and that one's yours.
Dot Warner: Well, you're standing in my way!
Yakko Warner: Yeah, that's tough!

Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: [singing] Every time we take a trip, It's always just the same With the fighting und the biting Und the calling all those names. Then there's pushing und there's shoving und there's scratching on the neck. When we finally get to where we're going everyone's a wreck!
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: Yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak!

"Animaniacs: Slippin' on the Ice Song/'Twas the Day Before Christmas/Jingle Boo/The Great Wakkorotti: The Holiday Concert/Toy Shop Terror/Yakko's Universe (#1.50)" (1993)
Yakko Warner: So 'twas the night before Christmas and all through the house
Dot Warner: Some creatures was stirring
Wakko Warner: Including a mouse!
[points at Pinky and Brain]
The Brain: Tonight my dear Pinky our plan is unfurled, we'll steal Santa's sleigh and take over the world!
Pinky: Brain you're a genius, you simply astound me
[accidentally hits Brain with a sack he's carrying knocking him off the tower]
Pinky: Narf Brain's gonna pound me!

Dot Warner: The stockings were hung so our names clearly showed...
Wakko Warner: In hopes that old Santa would leave a wide load,
Yakko Warner: Mwah! Goodnight, everybody!

Dot Warner: [after Ralph who's dressed as Santa Claus crashes through their ceiling] He was dressed all in furs with a glaze in his eyes, 'cuz the fall knocked him silly
Ralph the Guard: [Dazed] Duh, happy Easter you guys!
Wakko Warner: His face how it twinkled, his dimples how merry
Dot Warner: His cheeks were like roses
Yakko Warner: [Pointing at Ralph's belly sticking out his shirt] His gut that was scary!

"Animaniacs: Moby or Not Moby/Mesozoic Mindy/The Good, the Boo and the Ugly (#1.28)" (1993)
Yakko Warner: You must be Doc.
Ishmael: Call me Ishmael.
Yakko Warner: Call me Ishtar.
Wakko Warner: Call me irresponsible.
Dot Warner: Call me anytime. But not Colette, okay, big fella?

Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: Oh, Captain Ahab! Don't look behind you!

Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: [singing] Watch 'Star Trek IV' or ask your teachers / Whales are kind and loving creatures!

"Animaniacs: Chalkboard Bungle/Hurray for Slappy/The Great Wakkorotti: The Master & His Music (#1.16)" (1993)
Miss Flamiel: We'll move on to science. Dot, what can you tell me about the great scientists of the nineteenth century?
Dot: They're all dead.
Miss Flamiel: No no no!
Dot: All right. They're all living.
Miss Flamiel: No no no!
Yakko Warner: Well, now we're getting into philosophy.

Miss Flamiel: Dot, what can you tell me about the scientists of the 1800's?
Dot: They're all dead.
Miss Flamiel: No, no, no.
Dot: Ok, they're all living?
Miss Flamiel: No, no, no!
Yakko: Well, now we're getting into philosophy.

Miss Flamiel: Yakko can you conjugate?
Yakko Warner: Who me?, I've never even kissed a girl.
Miss Flamiel: No, no, no it's easy I'll conjugate with you.
Yakko Warner: [waving to the audience] Goodnight everybody!
Miss Flamiel: You don't understand, let me go to the board and show you.
Yakko Warner: [whispering to the audience] Don't look!

"Animaniacs: Guardin' in the Garden/Plane Pals (#1.22)" (1993)
Ivan Bloski: This is absurd! You little goons have been bothering me ever since I sat down! Do you know who I am?
Yakko Warner: No. Do you know who *I* am?
Ivan Bloski: No!
Yakko Warner: Then we're even.

Ivan Bloski: [Bloski runs into the cockpit] Help! I'm being harassed by children that look like big bugs with clothes. I demand you do something immediately!
[the members of the flight crew turn around to reveal that they are, as expected, the Warners]
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: What'd you have in mind?

Yakko Warner: [as Ivan Bloski jumps into the ocean and swims away furiously] Friends don't let friends disappear over the horizon alone.
[the Warners all jump into a rowboat]
Yakko Warner: Wait!
Dot Warner: Stick around!
Wakko Warner: We're gonna make sloppy joes and rent Don Knotts videos!

"Animaniacs: No Pain, No Painting/Les Miseranimals (#1.11)" (1993)
Yakko, Wakko, Dot: [singing to the tune of Frere Jaques] Frere Warner, Frere Warner/Whats that mean?/Keep it clean/Yakko is a yacker/Wakko is a snacker/Dots plain cute/So's this boot.

Yakko: If I give you some Francs, will you go away?
Wakko: I've got the beans!
Yakko: I got the Ketchup!
Dot: I got the Buns!
[wiggles her bottom, revealing white panties]
Yakko: Sez you!

Dot: What does Christie Brinkley have that I don't have?
Yakko, Wakko: Billy Joel!

"Animaniacs: Testimonials/Babblin' Bijou/Potty Emergency/Sir Yaksalot (#1.26)" (1993)
Yakko: Did you call for the bravest, most daring knight in all the land?
King Arthur: Oh, yes.
Yakko: Well, too bad. You got us.
Dot: What a silly mix-up!

Yakko: What's green and sits in the corner? A naughty frog.

Peasant: Dragon! Dragon! Dragon!...
Yakko: Could someone stop that man from yelling dragon?
[an anvil falls on the peasant]
Yakko: Thank you.

"Animaniacs: Dot's Entertainment/The Girl with the Googily Goop/Gunga Dot (#3.11)" (1996)
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: [singing about Googy] The censors all protest, 'cuz she's practically undressed, the cartoon vamp
Dot Warner: She's a tramp!
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner: Hello Googy!

Censor: We want no kissing in these cartoons, and entirely no lewd behavior and attire
[points at Googy]
Censor: like that outfit for instance take it off this instant!
[Googy reacts in embarrassment]
Yakko Warner: [waving to the audience] Goodnight everybody!

"Animaniacs: Hitchcock Opening/Hearts of Twilight/The Boids (#1.21)" (1993)
Yakko: [serious voice over] We were each chosen for our unique abilities. That's Dot. Her specialty: Cuteness. That's Wakko. His specialty: The mallet. That's me. My specialty: *Two paddle-balls at once!*
Thaddius Plotz: [referring to a map] Now you have to get from this office here to soundstage 64 here, and stop that director. Any questions?
Dot: Would I look cute as a blonde?
Wakko: Why do cats purr?
Yakko: Who's chubbier, Perry Mason or Scotty on "Star Trek"?

Mr. Director: [Crazy voice] Okay! I'm ready for my ending!
Dot: You want it?
Mr. Director: [Crazy voice] Oh, yeah!
Yakko: Are you sure?
Mr. Director: [Crazy voice] Yeah! Give! Give! Froinlaven!
Yakko: And... action!
Mr. Director: [Gets hit in the head by a huge mallet, Crazy voice] That's an ending?
Cameraman: [Whispering to Yakko] Microphone was in the shot.
Yakko: Okay, everybody! Let's do it again!
Mr. Director: [Crazy voice] Oh no! I don't want that!
Yakko: And... action!
Mr. Director: [Gets hit with the large mallet again, is as flat as a pancake, crazy voice] The hurting... the hurting... cut, print, that's a wrap!

"Animaniacs: H.M.S. Yakko/Slappy Goes Walnuts/Yakko's Universe Song (#1.3)" (1993)
Yakko Warner: [singing] I am the very model of a cartoon individual/My animation's comical, unusual and whimsical/I'm quite adept at funny gags, comedic theory I have read/From wicked jokes to stupid puns to anvils that fall on your head.

Captain Mel: Who be ye?
Yakko Warner: We be we. We're the Warner brothers.
Dot Warner: And the Warner sister.
Captain Mel: Ye be trespassing on my private pirate property!
Wakko Warner: Bet ya can't say that three times fast.
Captain Mel: Pirate prinipoly popoly... pi... per
Wakko Warner: You lose.
[Smashes Mel flat with a sledgehammer]

"Animaniacs: Turkey Jerky/Wild Blue Yonder (#1.46)" (1993)
Miles Standish: [to the Warners] Be gone pests and give me the bird!
[referring to their turkey]
Yakko Warner: We'd love to really, but the Fox censors won't allow it!

Yakko Warner: [pretending to be a psychologist] So tell me about your hamster, Petey was it?
Miles Standish: Oh Petey, how I didist love that hamster so, I tooketh him to bed with me every night you know!
[Yakko gives him a weird look]
Yakko Warner: [waving to the audience] Goodnight everybody!

"Animaniacs: Yakko's World/Cookies for Einstein/Win Big (#1.2)" (1993)
Yakko: Don't worry, siblings. We'll sell that nice man a box of cookies, or die trying! Or try dying! Or do some tie-dying!

Yakko: All right, all right. We get the picture. If you don't want any cookies, then just leave!
Einstein: I'm not going to leave - this is *my* house.
Yakko: All right, then *you* leave.
Einstein: Fine!

"Animaniacs: Taming of the Screwy (#1.5)" (1993)
Yakko Warner: [the Warners are playing with a statue of Dr. Scratchensniff] Wow, a giant Pez dispenser!
Dr. Scratchensniff: Stop playing with my bust!
Yakko Warner: Mwah! Goodnight, everybody!

Dr. Scratchensniff: [teaching etiquette with Hello Nurse] "How do you do?" Now you try.
Yakko Warner: How do you do... that thing with your mouth?

"Animaniacs: Hot, Bothered, and Bedeviled/Moon Over Minerva/Skullhead Boneyhands (#1.30)" (1993)
Satan: And now prepare to suffer indescribable torment!
Yakko: Another Bob Hope special?

Yakko: Does George Hamilton know your tan is better than his?

"Animaniacs: Meatballs or Consequences/A Moving Experience (#1.19)" (1993)
Dot: Are we dead?
Yakko Warner: Or is this Ohio?

Yakko Warner: [holding onto Death] We'll all be like a family!
Wakko: Can we call you "Dadoo"?
Dot: Hey, Pop, can we stay up past ten?
Yakko Warner: Can we watch the adult channel?
Yakko Warner, Wakko: Hellooooooo, Nurse!

"Animaniacs: Flipper Parody/Temporary Insanity/Operation: Lollipop/What Are We? (#1.6)" (1993)
Yakko: [helping Plotz to sign some papers] Sign here, here, here and here.
Mr. Plotz: By the way. What am I signing?
Yakko: Oh, well. You know. A little of that, a little of this.
Yakko: [holding up a check worth 80 zillion dollars] Mostly this.

Mr. Plotz: [Wakko swallows Thaddeus Plotz's paperweight] And give me back my paperweight!
Wakko Warner: Okay, but you'll have to wait a while.
Yakko: Mwah! Goodnight everybody!

"Animaniacs: A Christmas Plotz/Little Drummer Warners (#1.49)" (1993)
Yakko Warner: [while dancing with some chorus girls] Let me know when those costumes get heavy!
[growls suggestively]

Yakko Warner: [to the chorus girls] Hello nurses, say why don't you stop by the water tower and I'll show you my stamp collection.
Chorus Girl: [giggling] But Yakko you don't have a stamp collection.
Yakko Warner: [puts his finger under her chin] Alright then you can open my mail.
[chorus girl hugs him]

"Animaniacs: Mary Tyler Dot Song/Windsor Hassle/...And Justice for Slappy (#1.45)" (1993)
Queen Elizabeth II: Now, we would like you to begin work immediately.
Wakko Warner: ...Who's like us to begin?
Queen Elizabeth II: We would. Us. Ourselves.
Wakko Warner: [Jumping up on Queen Elizabeth and looks down her throat] How many people you got in there? Hello? HELLO?
Queen Elizabeth II: Get away from us!
Yakko Warner: She needs therapy.
[Plants the queen on a therapy couch]
Yakko Warner: Alright Sybil, whom I'm speaking to now?
Queen Elizabeth II: We insist that you stop this! You people are crazy!
Yakko Warner: Look who's talking.

"Animaniacs: Oh, Oh, Ethel/Meet John Brain/Smell Ya Later/Spike (#1.58)" (1994)
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: [showing him an ink blot test] What does this remind you of?
Yakko Warner: Girls
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: [shows him another one that looks like a car] What does this remind you of?
Yakko Warner: Girls
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: [shows him another that looks like a burger] What does this remind you of?
Yakko Warner: [looks carefully at it and thinks for a moment] Uhhhhh, girls!
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: [growls angrily at him] You are obsessed with girls!
Yakko Warner: Hey, you're the one showing me all the sexy pictures!

"Animaniacs: Cartoons in Wakko's Body/Noah's Lark/The Big Kiss/Hiccup (#1.33)" (1993)
Dot Warner: [after removing cartoons from his various body parts] So Wakko how do you feel now?
Wakko Warner: [holding his rear end in pain] Oh my bottom hurts!
[Yakko and Dot give him annoyed looks]
Yakko Warner: [blowing a kiss to the audience] Goodnight everybody!

"Animaniacs: A Hard Day's Warners/Gimme a Break/Please Please Please Get a Life Foundation (#3.4)" (1995)
Yakko Warner: Is this you? Are you happily engrossed in inconsequential cartoon trivia to the point that your socks can probably stand up by themselves?

"Animaniacs: Chairman of the Bored/Planets Song/Astro-Buttons (#1.32)" (1993)
Yakko Warner: [after he sings his song naming most of the planets] Well, there you go. That's our solar system.
Wakko Warner: You forgot Uranus.
Yakko Warner: Goodnight, everybody!

"Animaniacs: Casablanca Opening/Fair Game/The Slapper/Puppet Rulers (#1.40)" (1993)
Ned Flat: Why are you acting like this?
Yakko: We're not acting. We really are like this.

"Animaniacs: Space Probed/Battle for the Planet (#1.15)" (1993)
Yakko Warner: [while chasing Hello Nurse in the space ship] Oh come on, just one little kiss!, I've had all my shots!

"Animaniacs: The Warner's Lot Song/The Big Candy Store/Bumbie's Mom (#1.8)" (1993)
[the Warners have encased the candy store owner in a giant chocolate bunny who is taken away by orphans]
Yakko Warner: Wait'll they get to the creamy filling!

"Animaniacs: Take My Siblings, Please/The Mindy 500/Morning Malaise (#2.1)" (1994)
Yakko Warner: [the chorus girls he'd been dancing with leave groaning in exhaustion] Come on one more romp, I'll even get in front this time!, well it was fun while it lasted.

"Animaniacs: Jokahontas/Boids on the Hood/Mighty Wakko at the Bat (#4.3)" (1996)
Dot Warner: [pointing at John Smith's hand] What's that all about?
John Smith: A handshake is how we say "hello".
Dot Warner: [smiling suggestively at him] Would you like to see how we do it?
Yakko Warner: Goodnight everybody!

"Animaniacs: Very Special Opening/In the Garden of Mindy/No Place Like Homeless/Katie Ka-Boo/Baghdad Cafe (#1.35)" (1993)
Sudan Hinsane: Do you know who I am?
Yakko: Why, did you forget?

"Animaniacs: This Pun for Hire/Star Truck/Go Fish/Multiplication (#3.8)" (1995)
Yakko Warner: Tell us, where did you last see your boss?
Hello Nurse: In the Mambo Room at the Tropicombo Club. A band was playing Latin dance music. I was with the doctor, he mumbled something. The band had a big dumb guy playing drums and everyone was dancing under a pole, then the doctor vanished.
Yakko Warner: Now, lemme get this straight: He muttered some mumbo-jumbo during the Combo Samba in the Mambo at the Tropicombo. Then there was a jumbo dumbo playing the limbo on the bongos and then he was gone?
Hello Nurse: That is absolutely correct!

"Animaniacs: Roll Over, Beethoven/The Cat and the Fiddle (#1.17)" (1993)
Beethoven: I am Ludwig Van Beethoven, world famous composer and pianist.
Yakko: You're a what?
Beethoven: A pianist.
Yakko: [blows a kiss] Goodnight, everybody!
Beethoven: But that is what I am. A pianist.
Yakko: I think we've heard enough out of you.

"Animaniacs: Super Strong Warner Siblings/Nutcracker Slappy/Wakko's New Gookie/A Quake, a Quake! (#3.1)" (1995)
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: [to the tune of "London Bridge Is Falling Down"] L.A. town is falling down/While the ground/Moves around/We won't let it get us down/We're Californians!

"Animaniacs: Hello Nice Warners/La Behemoth/Little Old Slappy from Pasadena (#1.13)" (1993)
Mr. Director: I'm balled over. That was good. You kids got it. You got that special zingy thing. That thing that only comes from here.
[Points at Yakko's chest]
Yakko Warner: That's just a spaghetti stain.
Mr. Director: See, that's funny. You're wack-o!
Yakko Warner: No.
[Grabs Wakko]
Yakko Warner: This is Wakko.
Mr. Director: You're funny!
Yakko Warner: No, I'm Yakko. And, that's Dot.
Dot Warner: Have we met before?
Mr. Director: [Crazy Voice] Oh! I love these kids! They are so funny! Sweet kids who look like puppies! Flamiel!
[Normal voice]
Mr. Director: Where're you kids going?
Yakko Warner: Gen Murray's house?
Mr. Director: You kids are gonna be in my movie.
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: [to audience] Movie?
Mr. Director: Who are you talking to?
Wakko Warner: The people watching on TV.
Mr. Director: Peoples? What peoples?
[Crazy voice]
Mr. Director: Hello, nice people in the TV!
[Normal Voice]
Mr. Director: Hey! I don't see any... where'd they go? Ah, there you are!
[Crazy Voice]
Mr. Director: Nice kids, we're with the movie gonna do a thing!
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: AAAAAAAAAAH!
[Try to run out the door]
Ralph the Guard: Duh! Where are they?
Yakko Warner: [Shuts the door] Okay, Mr. Penzoil Head, you talked us into it. We'll do your movie.
Mr. Director: [Crazy voice] Oh1 You'll do! The mov...! You'll do the! Happy! I am! So much! Oil!
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: [to audience] Be afraid! Be very afraid!