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Quotes for
Dr. Otto Scratchansniff (Character)
from "Animaniacs" (1993)

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"Animaniacs: De-Zanitized/The Monkey Song/Nighty-Night Toon (#1.1)" (1993)
Wakko: Maybe you should see a P-psychiatrist.
Dr. Scratchensniff: I AM a P-psych... I mean, a psychiatrist!

Dr. Scratchensniff: I know what you kids want... you want to talk to Mr. Puppet Head!
[imitating another character]
Dr. Scratchensniff: Hello, kids. I'm Mr. Puppet Head. Tell me why you kids make the jokes?
[the Warners are silent]
Dr. Scratchensniff: Why aren't you talking to Mr. Puppet Head? No no, it's very simple watch this... Hello, Mr. Puppet Head. How are you?
[imitating Mr. Puppet Head]
Dr. Scratchensniff: I am fine, Dr. Scratchensniff. How are you?
[normal voice]
Dr. Scratchensniff: I am fine, Mr. Puppet Head. Did you have a yummy breakfast?
[imitating Mr. Puppet Head]
Dr. Scratchensniff: Oh, yes. Very yummy. How was your breakfast?
[normal voice]
Dr. Scratchensniff: Mine was as yummy as yours.
[to the Warners]
Dr. Scratchensniff: Now, you see? Isn't that easy?
Yakko: Are you sure you don't need to see a P-psychiatrist?
Dr. Scratchensniff: I AM a P-psych... I mean a psychiatrist! I AM! I AM! I AM!
[uses the hand his puppet is on to tear off his hair]
Yakko: Mr. Puppet Head's hungry.

Dr. Scratchensniff: [showing Dot an inkblot] What do you see here?
Dot: I'd say you're not a very good artist.
Dr. Scratchensniff: I didn't draw it.
Dot: Then whoever did needs to go back to school.
Dr. Scratchensniff: No, no. It's an inkblot.
Dot: I'll say.
Dr. Scratchensniff: It's not supposed to look like anything!
Dot: Then you did a very good job.
Dr. Scratchensniff: I DIDN'T DRAW IT! Don't you think it looks like a little kitty cat or a butterfly or something?
Dot: No.
[takes off the inkblot and changes it into a butterfly]
Dot: THAT'S a butterfly.

Dr. Scratchensniff: What is on your mind?
Wakko: My hat.
Dr. Scratchensniff: No, your hat is on your head. What is on your MIND?
Wakko: My... skin?
Dr. Scratchensniff: No, that's on your head. What is on your MIND?
Wakko: Oh, I got it! My hair!
Dr. Scratchensniff: Your hair is on your head!
[tears off some of his hair]
Wakko: No, it's in your hand.

Dr. Scratchensniff: Any word that comes to mind.
Yakko: Brain.
Dr. Scratchensniff: But we haven't started.
Yakko: Begun.
Dr. Scratchensniff: No, wait.
Yakko: Yield.
Dr. Scratchensniff: Stop!
Yakko: Cease.
Dr. Scratchensniff: SILENCE!
Yakko: Quiet.
Dr. Scratchensniff: ENOUGH!
Yakko: Plenty.
Dr. Scratchensniff: Would you please listen?
Yakko: Hear.
Yakko: Comprehend.
Dr. Scratchensniff: Get out! Get out! Get OUT!
Yakko: Leave, leave, leave.
Dr. Scratchensniff: These Varner Brothers are driving me crazy!
Yakko: Insane. Unhinged. Demented.

Dr. Scratchensniff: So tell me more about these dreams you've been having Mr. Reagan?
Ronald Reagan: Well, in my dreams I'm President of the United States.
[Dr. Scratchensniff writes down on his notepad "DELUSIONS OF GRANDEUR" and "INCURABLE"]

Dr. Scratchensniff: Do you know who I am?
[the Warners run to three contestant podiums with their names. Yakko pushes a button on his]
Yakko: Dr. Otto Scratchensniff world famous psycho-analyst to the stars?
Dr. Scratchensniff: Correct.
Yakko: I won! I won!
[he leaps into Scratchensniff's arms]
Yakko: What did I win?
Dr. Scratchensniff: Nothing.
Yakko: Say what kinda game show is this?
Dr. Scratchensniff: This isn't a game show.
Yakko: I'll say it isn't. Nobody wins anything. You'll be lucky to be on the air for one week.

Dr. Scratchensniff: What do you want?
Yakko: We asked you first.
Dr. Scratchensniff: Well, I want... no you didn't!
Dot: Well we meant to.

"Animaniacs: Taming of the Screwy (#1.5)" (1993)
Dr. Scratchensniff: [telling the Warners about a party] The bad news is you can only go if I train you to be polite, clean, well-dressed children on your best behavior.
Dot: I thought you said it was a party!

Yakko Warner: [the Warners are playing with a statue of Dr. Scratchensniff] Wow, a giant Pez dispenser!
Dr. Scratchensniff: Stop playing with my bust!
Yakko Warner: Mwah! Goodnight, everybody!

Dr. Scratchensniff: [teaching etiquette with Hello Nurse] "How do you do?" Now you try.
Yakko Warner: How do you do... that thing with your mouth?

I'm Mad (1994)
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: [singing] Every time we get into the car, it's so much work! It takes us twenty minutes while you're driving me berserk with your playing und your jumping und your running all about! When I finally get you inside, you always lock me out!

Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: [singing] Every time we take a trip, It's always just the same With the fighting und the biting Und the calling all those names. Then there's pushing und there's shoving und there's scratching on the neck. When we finally get to where we're going everyone's a wreck!
Yakko Warner, Wakko Warner, Dot Warner: Yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak yak!

"Animaniacs: Ups and Downs/The Brave Little Trailer/Yes, Always (#1.52)" (1994)
Wakko Warner: Wanna tell jokes?
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: No! No jokes!
Wakko Warner: It's really funny.
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: Oh, alright. But just one joke.
Wakko Warner: Knock knock!
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: Who's there?
Wakko Warner: Max!
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: Max who?
Wakko Warner: Max wants to come in and go crazy!
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: OK. Now that joke wasn't really funny. It didn't even make sense.
Wakko Warner: It does if you know Max.
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: But I don't even know Max!
Wakko Warner: If you did, you'd be laughing.

"Animaniacs: Oh, Oh, Ethel/Meet John Brain/Smell Ya Later/Spike (#1.58)" (1994)
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: [showing him an ink blot test] What does this remind you of?
Yakko Warner: Girls
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: [shows him another one that looks like a car] What does this remind you of?
Yakko Warner: Girls
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: [shows him another that looks like a burger] What does this remind you of?
Yakko Warner: [looks carefully at it and thinks for a moment] Uhhhhh, girls!
Dr. Otto Scratchensniff: [growls angrily at him] You are obsessed with girls!
Yakko Warner: Hey, you're the one showing me all the sexy pictures!