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Quotes for
Sgt. June Ackland (Character)
from "The Bill" (1984)

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"The Bill: The Sweet Smell of Failure (#1.11)" (1985)
W.P.C. Ackland: [to Galloway] I've always been told, if you can cop a plea of guilty in court, cop a plea of guilty!

W.P.C. Ackland: You've got to be joking. That pair, Bonnie and Clyde?
P.C. Carver: Well, the description fits.
W.P.C. Ackland: We've been had over, do you know that, bloody well had over. I'll murder that Bloomfield.

Det. Insp. Galloway: [to Bloomfield] Somebody's grassed you up, my old son.
W.P.C. Ackland: [to Bloomfield] Done you up like a kipper.
P.C. Carver: Can't trust anybody.
[Galloway and Ackland stare at Carver]
P.C. Carver: Well, you can't, can ya?

"The Bill: Funny Ol' Business - Cops & Robbers (#1.1)" (1984)
P.C. Hollis: [referring to Bob Cryer] He's a nosy git, innit he?
W.P.C. Ackland: A good sergeant knows what's going on in his nick.

W.P.C. Ackland: [to Carver] Morning. 'Ere, let's have a sip of your tea.
[drinks Carver's tea]
W.P.C. Ackland: Oh, so much sugar!
[Put's Carver's tea down with a disgusted look on her face]
P.C. Carver: Well, I like sugar, you know, I mean, I've got a sweet tooth!
W.P.C. Ackland: Yeah, well don't you know it's bad for you? You'll get fat and all your teeth 'll fall out.

"The Bill: Rough in the Afternoon (#1.8)" (1984)
W.P.C. Ackland: Mrs Ferne, I'd hate to have to ask you this, but... has your husband ever been violent towards your son?
Joyce Ferne: [emotionally] Yes! Yes, he has!
[starts crying]

Det. Insp. Galloway: Has anybody seen Ted or Mike?
W.P.C. Ackland: Yes, they're looking for a blue car parked at the railway station!
[Galloway nods his head]

"The Bill: 460 (#22.83)" (2006)
Sgt. June Ackland: Ma'am, there's a Peter Harris waiting for you in the front office.
Insp. Gina Gold: I knew that bloke was gonna turn up early!
Sgt. June Ackland: Who is he?
Insp. Gina Gold: Oh he's some local big wig. You know our safer neighbourhood campaign? He's gonna pay for the posters.
Sgt. June Ackland: Oh well that's a bit of good publicity...
Insp. Gina Gold: Oh no, he's got his own printing firm. So it's not going to cost him much, is it? It's a way to get in with the council, you know, network a bit. Forget that we can't see a thing in custody! But he's a VIP and the Superintendent wants to roll out the bloody red carpet!
[Some time later]
Peter Harris: I was discussing the posters with the Superintendent, and he suggested I come in for a guided tour and see the station in action. If I'd known you were taking me jogging I'd have put on a pair of trainers...
Insp. Gina Gold: I'm so sorry, but some clown of a workman has just knocked out the power to custody.
Peter Harris: I thought you weren't too chuffed to see me.
Insp. Gina Gold: It's nothing personal, but I must chase up my engineer. He tends to get here a bit quicker when threatened with strangulation.

"The Bill: A Dangerous Breed (#1.7)" (1984)
P.C. Carver: [Carver is doing a crossword puzzle] What's a big bird, 5 and 3 ending in T?
W.P.C. Ackland: Er... tit.
P.C. Carver: Eh?
W.P.C. Ackland: Grey tit. Well don't you normally associate that with birds?

"The Bill: The Drugs Raid (#1.6)" (1984)
Det. Insp. Galloway: What's your problem Ackland?
W.P.C. Ackland: Sir, Carver and Edwards have been on the radio, apparently they chased a man over the roof and the man tried to run them over in a car.
Det. Insp. Galloway: Did he get away?
W.P.C. Ackland: Yeah.
Det. Insp. Galloway: Bloody hell, have you circulated the number?
W.P.C. Ackland: No.
Det. Insp. Galloway: Well circulate it then.
W.P.C. Ackland: But sir, the car's got diplomatic plates.

"The Bill: 169 (#19.94)" (2003)
Sgt. June Ackland: Either their freezer's defrosted, or we've got a corpse in there.

"The Bill: 021 (#18.32)" (2002)
Sgt. June Ackland: Ma'am?
Insp. Gina Gold: Mmm?
Sgt. June Ackland: I wonder if we could start again?
Insp. Gina Gold: Why?
Sgt. June Ackland: Because, I feel we've got off on the wrong foot.
Insp. Gina Gold: Oh, no we haven't. We've got off at exactly the right foot.
Sgt. June Ackland: Well it doesn't feel like that to me...
Insp. Gina Gold: No, it wouldn't. You June, have been perfectly civil, pleasantness itself, and I have been an awkward, cantankerous cow.
Sgt. June Ackland: Well, I wouldn't say that.
Insp. Gina Gold: I know you wouldn't. You're far too nice, whereas me, I'm not nice. Not nice at all. And the sooner everyone around here knows that, the better. Save a whole lot of messing about.
Sgt. June Ackland: Well you can't be all bad...?
Insp. Gina Gold: I'm glad you think that! Be a whole lot of fun proving you wrong...

"The Bill: It's Not Such a Bad Job After All (#1.5)" (1984)
[last lines]
W.P.C. Ackland: It's not such a bad job after all.

"The Bill: Blind Alleys, Clogged Roads (#3.7)" (1987)
W.P.C. Ackland: [to Hollis] You don't know where Viv is, do you?
P.C. Hollis: No, no, I don't.
W.P.C. Ackland: Ah, now you see that's the problem. You're missing out on all the juicy bits of gossip.
P.C. Hollis: What juicy bits of gossip?
[Ackland walks out of the canteen]
P.C. Hollis: Oh, June, hold on!