Shane Botwin
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Quotes for
Shane Botwin (Character)
from "Weeds" (2005)

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"Weeds: Thwack (#6.1)" (2010)
Shane Botwin: Time heals all wounds, well, I guess not all wounds.

Shane Botwin: [to Andy] You'll be fine. Time heals all wounds... Well... not all wounds.


"Weeds: Lude Awakening (#1.5)" (2005)
Celia Hodes: Everyone thinks I've lost my mind.
Shane Botwin: Everyone thinks I'm weird.
Celia Hodes: Well, I can see how you might give that impression.
Shane Botwin: I really don't care what they think.
Celia Hodes: Good for you. Let your freak flag fly.
Shane Botwin: Really?
Celia Hodes: Really. I've recently stopped giving a shit what anyone thinks, and I gotta tell you, I feel great.
Shane Botwin: But you have cancer.
Celia Hodes: And you have a dead father. Both of us make people really uncomfortable. There's no way around it. So either we can feel all self-concious and pretend that everything's normal, or we can just be our strange selves.
Shane Botwin: Thanks, Mrs. Hodes.
Celia Hodes: For what?
Shane Botwin: For telling me the truth.
Celia Hodes: You're welcome. It's a bitch, though, ain't it?


"Weeds: A Yippity Sippity (#6.3)" (2010)
Silas Botwin: Normal Newmans from normal town. You really believe we could keep this up for any serious amount of time?
Nancy Botwin: This is who we are now. This is us.
Silas Botwin: What if you had gotten a real job after Dad died and we could have skipped all this shit?
Nancy Botwin: We would have to sell the house, move to a very different zip code. You and Shane would have gone to even lousier public schools.
Silas Botwin: That doesn't sound so bad.
Nancy Botwin: You probably still would have knocked up a girl, only this one maybe would have been blind instead of deaf, or missing a limb. You would have struggled with your grades, smoked weed, dropped out, gotten your G.E.D... Your brother still would have had rage issues. He would have lost his virginity to a skanky girl, or a skanky girl duo. He would have grown increasingly alienated, and ended up stabbing the mailman or my manager at the Gap. We would be in the exact same spot we're in now.
[Shane walks in]
Silas Botwin: Shane, if Mom would have worked at the Gap instead of selling drugs, do you still think you would have killed somebody?
Shane Botwin: Probably.


"Weeds: Perro Insano (#5.10)" (2009)
Shane Botwin: I like the way it feels. Like a knife popping the same balloon over and over. Only you don't have to blow up a new one. I can make the pain go away any time with a pill... but I don't want to.


"Weeds: The Whole Blah Damn Thing (#4.3)" (2008)
Silas Botwin: [while arguing whether or not to mercy-kill Bubby] Yeah, sure. Death is no big deal. Because life is just... blah, blah, blah.
Andy Botwin: Look, Silas. Life is just blah, blah, blah. You hope for Blah, and sometimes you find it, but mostly it's blah. And waiting for blah. And hoping you were right about the blahs you made. And then, just when you think you've got the whole blah damn thing figured out, and you're surrounded by the ones you blah, death shows up. And blah, blah, blah.
Silas Botwin: [sighs] Alright. Let's do this.
Shane Botwin: [to Andy] That was good.
Andy Botwin: I have my moments.


"Weeds: Felling and Swamping (#6.2)" (2010)
Silas Botwin: Maybe she's not dead - maybe she's just injured.
Shane Botwin: Maybe she was just injured before mom pulled the automatic pool cover over her head.


"Weeds: Pittsburgh (#2.12)" (2006)
Shane Botwin: If we picture Agrestic as an aeroplane; a grand soaring jet carrying us through the sky. I think you all need to understand, there are motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane.


"Weeds: The Punishment Light (#1.8)" (2005)
Shane Botwin: [while Peter and Nancy hum the UM theme] We visited my dad's grave today.
Peter: [stops] Oh. I--
Shane Botwin: You married?
Peter: Uh. No.
Shane Botwin: Why not?
Peter: It's...complicated.
Shane Botwin: Are you a fag?
[Nancy kicks Shane under the table; Silas laughs]
Nancy Botwin: Shane!
Shane Botwin: What? It was just a question.