Steve Jobs
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Quotes for
Steve Jobs (Character)
from Jobs (2013)

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Pirates of Silicon Valley (1999) (TV)
Steve Jobs: Those guys think they're revolutionaries. They're not revolutionaries, we are.
Steve Wozniak: We are?

Steve Jobs: What is this? This is like doing business with a praying mantis. You get seduced, and then eaten alive afterwards?
Bill Gates: Get real, would ya? You and I are both like guys who had this rich neighbor - Xerox - who left the door open all the time. And you go sneakin' in to steal a TV set. Only when you get there, you realize that I got there first. I got the loot, Steve! And you're yellin'? "That's not fair. I wanted to try to steal it first." You're too late.

Bill Gates: There may be a few... similarities.
Steve Jobs: Similarities? Similarities? Try theft.

Mike Markkula: Steve Wozniak's employee number one, you're number two.
Steve Jobs: Wait a minute. I'm employee number one. Woz?
Steve Wozniak: Doesn't matter to me.
Steve Jobs: I'm employee number one around here.
Mike Markkula: I'm not saying anything. I wasn't implying anything.
Steve Jobs: All right, then I'll be zero. Woz, you can be number one. I'll be zero. Okay?

Steve Jobs: Good artists copy, great artists steal.

Steve Jobs: We're better than you are! We have better stuff.
Bill Gates: You don't get it, Steve. That doesn't matter!

Arlene: Steve, why do you care what I call the baby?
Steve Jobs: Because I don't want the baby named Rainbow! Or Orisha, or Ravi Shankar, or any other name like that.

[first lines]
Steve Jobs: I don't want you to think of this as just a film - some process of converting electrons and magnetic impulses into shapes and figures and sounds. No. Listen to me. We're here to make a dent in the universe. Otherwise, why even be here? We're creating a completely new consciousness, like an artist or poet. That's how you have to think of this. We're rewriting the history of human thought with what we're doing.
Ridley Scott: Right. Well, Steven, at the moment I'm a touch more worried about getting light on the actress. Do you know what I mean?

Steve Jobs: What's he talking about, the Altair? I never had a problem with the Altair - 'til I tried to use it!

Steve Jobs: Maybe in a past life I was a poet - or an artist.

Bill Gates: I don't understand - how does the hardware handle the mouse/cursor display?
Gilmore: No, it's all right here in the software...
Steve Jobs: Enough!
[angrily mashes button, closing the Macintosh display]
Gilmore: Sorry, Steve.
Steve Jobs: There's no use torturing our guests with what they can't have.

Steve Jobs: You are putting poison into your body.
Steve Wozniak: That's french fries, man. You know, all-American food?
Steve Jobs: That's what I'm talking about.
Steve Wozniak: Come on, I can't eat like you do. Eatin' fruit all the time? That's weird.
Steve Jobs: It's not weird. It's pure.

Steve Wozniak: Where's your beard?
Steve Jobs: In the bathroom sink. I shaved it off.
Steve Wozniak: Well, how come?
Steve Jobs: 'Cause banks don't like beards.

Steve Jobs: What, like I have to have a moustache?
Steve Wozniak: A suit! You actually bought a suit!

Steve Jobs: You're stealing from us!

Steve Jobs: Are you sure this thing is even gonna work?
Steve Wozniak: If it doesn't catch fire.
Steve Jobs: Don't even joke.

Steve Jobs: Maybe fun is just fragments of existence with better packaging.

John Sculley: Steve, I'm worried. About what's happening. All the "them versus us" stuff. Macintosh versus Apple II.
Steve Jobs: You don't understand, John. People need a cause.

[last lines]
Bill Gates: It's going to be very interesting, you know... you and me, working together?
Steve Jobs: Yeah. Yeah, it sure is.

Steve Jobs: Are you a virgin?
Mike Markkula: Steve, come on.

Steve Jobs: How old were you when you first got laid?
Job Applicant: I don't - I don't...
Mike Markkula: Steve, will you leave him alone?

Steve Jobs: [seeing first version of Microsoft Windows] I made a mistake. I trusted. I believed. "Family?" Maybe a Mafia family. You turn your back, and you get whacked.

Steve Wozniak: [about their first prototype] They hated it.
Steve Jobs: Woo hoo!
[hugging him, dancing about]

Jobs (2013)
[last lines]
Steve Jobs: Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes, the ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules, and they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things - they push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.

Steve Wozniak: Nobody wants to buy a computer. Nobody!
Steve Jobs: How can somebody know what they want if they've never even seen it?
Steve Wozniak: Huh?
Steve Jobs: We're going to Homebrew...

Steve Wozniak: How about "Enterprise Computers"?
Steve Jobs: No! No Star Trek names, or I swear, I will drive this car right off a cliff.

Steve Wozniak: We can't afford to pay three people right now.
Steve Jobs: We can't afford to pay *ourselves* unless we deliver. And don't worry about Chris, he's just a kid. So he just wants to help.
Steve Wozniak: You're just a kid.

Steve Jobs: Welcome to Apple Computer.
Rod Holt: Okay, show me this revolutionary piece o' shit.

Steve Jobs: Get your shit and get out! You're done.
Gil Amelio: What? Are you gonna fire me?
Steve Jobs: No! I ALREADY FIRED YOU!... Why are you still here?
Bill Atkinson: Steve, he, he was our best programmer in the division.
Steve Jobs: He's the best programmer that doesn't care about our vision.

Steve Wozniak: I just wanted to be one of the guys. And of all the guys I knew, you were the coolest. You were smart, quick-witted. This was my chance to do what I loved. And to do it for fun. That's all I ever wanted. I thought that's what you wanted to. Something's happening to you, Steve.
[begins walking away]
Steve Jobs: I'm growing up, Woz.
Steve Wozniak: No. No you're not.

Steve Jobs: So this is the Macintosh team.
Bill Atkinson: Um hmm.
Bill Atkinson: Jesus!
Steve Jobs: No, it's just Steve.

Arthur Rock: [about John Sculley] What the hell makes you think you cn get him? Why would he ever leave Pepsi?
Steve Jobs: Nobody remembers the world best soda salesman.

Ethan: Steve, we're glad you're back.
Ethan: I'm not back.
Steve Jobs: [as he leaves] Yet...

Ed Woolard: If you want to get back what you lost, now is the time.
Steve Jobs: I never lost anything. It was stolen from me.

Steve Jobs: [narrating] When you grow up, you tend to get told the world is the way that it is, and your life is just to live your life inside the world and try not to bash into the walls too much. But that's a very limited life. Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact. And that is that everything around you that you call life, was made up by people that are no smarter than you. And you can change it. You can influence it. You can build your own things that other people can use. To shake off this erroneous notion that life is just there, and you're just gonna live in it, versus embrace it. Change it, improve it. Make your mark upon it. And once you learn that, you'll never be the same again.

Gareth Chang: [having dismissed the old Apple executives] What are we going to do now?
Steve Jobs: We're gonna put a dent in the universe.