Mrs. Lovett
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Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (2007)
Sweeney Todd: Noooooo! Would no one have mercy on her?
Mrs. Lovett: So it's you. Benjamin Barker
Sweeney Todd: Where's Lucy? Where's my wife?
Mrs. Lovett: She poisoned herself, arsenic from the apothecary round the corner, I tried to stop her, but she wouldn't listen to me, and he's got your daughter.
Sweeney Todd: He? Judge Turpin?
Mrs. Lovett: [nods] Adopted her like his own.
Sweeney Todd: 15 years sweating, and living hell, for a false charge. 15 years dreaming I might come home to a wife and child.
Mrs. Lovett: Well, I can't say the years have been particularly kind to you, Mr. Barker.
Sweeney Todd: No, not Barker. That man is dead. It's Todd now. Sweeney Todd... and he will have his revenge.

Sweeney Todd: [sung to his razor] You there, my friend... /Come, let me hold you...
Mrs. Lovett: [sung] I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd... /If you only knew, Mr Todd...
Sweeney Todd: Now, with a sigh / You grow warm in my hand.
Mrs. Lovett: [unison] Ooh, Mr. Todd, / You're warm in my hand.
Sweeney Todd: My friend.
Mrs. Lovett: [unison] You've come home.
Sweeney Todd: My clever friend.
Mrs. Lovett: [unison] Always had a fondness for you, I did.

Mrs. Lovett: That lad is drinking me out o' house an' home.

Mrs. Lovett: Mr. T, you didn't!
[looks into the chest, sees Pirelli's dead body and gasps. Shuts it]
Mrs. Lovett: You're barking mad! Killing a man what done ya no harm!
Sweeney Todd: [polishing his razor] He recognized me from the old days. Tried to blackmail me. Half me earnings.
Mrs. Lovett: [relieved] Oh, well that's a different matter then. For a moment there I thought you lost your marbles.
[opens the chest again and stares]
Mrs. Lovett: Ugh! All that blood. Poor bugger. Oh well!
[looks through Pirelli's jacket before removing his money pouch and examining its contents]
Mrs. Lovett: Well, waste not, want not!
[tucks it into her bodice]

[from trailer]
Anthony Hope: [comes rushing in looking for Sweeney only to see Mrs.Lovett] Oh, I'm sorry. Excuse me...
Mrs. Lovett: Mrs.Lovett, son.
Anthony Hope: A pleasure, ma'am.
[he finally see's Sweeney]
Anthony Hope: [really quickly] Mr.Todd, there's a girl who needs my help. Such a sad girl, and lonely but beautiful to and...
Sweeney Todd: [he leads Antony to a chair] Slow down, son.
Anthony Hope: [sits down] Yes, I'm sorry. This girl has a guardian who keeps her locked away, but then this morning she dropped this
[holds up a key]
Anthony Hope: surely a sign that Johanna wants me to help her. That's her name, Johanna, and Turpin is her guardian. He's a judge of some sort. Once he goes to court, I'm going to skip into the house, release her, and beg her to come away with me tonight!
Mrs. Lovett: Oh, this is very romantic.
Anthony Hope: [he turns to Mrs.Lovett] Yes.
[he turns back to Todd]
Anthony Hope: But I don't know anyone in London, you see, and I need somewhere safe to bring her until I've hired a coach to take us away. If I could keep her just for an hour or two, I'd be forever in your debt.
Mrs. Lovett: Bring her 'ere, love.
Anthony Hope: [to Mrs.Lovett] Thank you, ma'am.
Anthony Hope: [to Todd]
Anthony Hope: Mr.Todd...?
Sweeney Todd: [Sweeney can only nod in agreement]

[Judge Turpin leaves from the barbershop thanks to Anthony's blundering]
Sweeney Todd: [quietly] Out.
Anthony Hope: Mr. Todd... you have to help me!
Sweeney Todd: [louder] Out.
Anthony Hope: [persistent] Mr. Todd, please, I...
Sweeney Todd: [roars] *Out*!
[Anthony runs out, and Mrs. Lovett hurries in]
Mrs. Lovett: [arriving] All this running and shouting, wot's going on?
Sweeney Todd: [sings] I had him! His throat was bare, beneath my hand!
Mrs. Lovett: There, there, dear, calm down...
Sweeney Todd: No! I had him! His throat was there, and now he'll never come again!
Mrs. Lovett: [sings to calm him] Easy now. Hush, love, hush. / I keep telling you,
Sweeney Todd: *When*?
Mrs. Lovett: What's your rush?
Sweeney Todd: Why did I wait? / You told me to wait! / Now he'll never come again!
[he goes toward the window and looks at it]
Sweeney Todd: There's a hole in the world like a great black pit, / And it's filled with people who are filled with shit, / And the vermin of the world inhabit it, / But not for loooong!

Sweeney Todd: The history of the world, my pet...
Mrs. Lovett: Oh, Mr. Todd! Ooh, Mr. Todd! Leave it to me!
Sweeney Todd: Is learn forgiveness and try to forget!
Mrs. Lovett: By the sea, Mr. Todd we'll be comfy-cozy / By the sea, Mr. Todd, where there's no one nosy!
Sweeney Todd: And life is for the alive, my dear / So let's keep living it.
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: Just keep living it! Really living it - !
Sweeney Todd: [Throws Mrs. Lovett into the oven]

Mrs. Lovett: Barker, his name was. Benjamin Barker.
Sweeney Todd: What was his crime?
Mrs. Lovett: Foolishness.

Sweeney Todd: You have a room over the shop, don't you? If times are so hard, why don't you rent it out?
Mrs. Lovett: People think it's haunted.
Sweeney Todd: Haunted?
Mrs. Lovett: Yeah. And who's to say they're wrong? You see, years ago, something happened up there. Something not very nice.

Mrs. Lovett: [placing a small pie on the counter] Here we are. Hot out of the oven.
Sweeney Todd: What is THAT?
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] It's priest. Have a little priest...
Sweeney Todd: [sings] Is it really good?
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Sir, it's too good, at least. Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh... so it's pretty fresh.

Sweeney Todd: [singing] For what's the sound of the world out there?
Mrs. Lovett: What, Mr. Todd? What, Mr. Todd? What is that sound?
Sweeney Todd: Those crunching noises pervading the air!
Mrs. Lovett: Yes, Mr. Todd! Yes, Mr. Todd! It's all around!
Sweeney Todd: It's man devouring man, my dear!
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: And/Then who are we to deny it in here?

Sweeney Todd: [singing] Have charity towards the world, my pet.
Mrs. Lovett: Yes, yes, I know, my love.
Sweeney Todd: We'll take the customers that we can get.
Mrs. Lovett: High-born and low, my love.
Sweeney Todd: We'll not discriminate great from small. / No, we'll serve anyone...
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: Meaning/We'll serve anyone, / And to anyone at all!

Mrs. Lovett: We could have a life we two, maybe not like you remember. Maybe not like I imagined. But we could get by.

Mrs. Lovett: [singing] With the price of meat, wot it is, when you get it, if you get it.
Sweeney Todd: [suddenly understands] Ah!
Mrs. Lovett: [singing] Good ya got it.

[Sweeney Todd and Mrs. Lovett buy what appears to be Pirelli's Miracle Elixir]
Sweeney Todd: [opens the lid] What is this?
Mrs. Lovett: What is this?
Sweeney Todd: Smells like piss.
Mrs. Lovett: [sniffs] Smells like, eww!
Sweeney Todd: Looks like piss.
Mrs. Lovett: [unison] I wouldn't touch it if I was you, dear.
Sweeney Todd: This is piss. / Piss with ink.

Sweeney Todd: [sings] The history of the world, my love...
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Save a lot of graves, does a lot of relatives favors.
Sweeney Todd: Is those below serving those up above.
Mrs. Lovett: Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of flavors.
Sweeney Todd: How gratifying for once to know...
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: That those above will serve those down below!

Mrs. Lovett: [sings] Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop, / Does a business, but I noticed something weird: / Lately all her neighbor's cats have disappeared. / Have to hand it to her, / What I calls / Enterprise / Popping pussies into pies. / Wouldn't do in my shop; / Just the thought of it's enough to make you sick. / And I'm telling you, them pussycats is quick.

Sweeney Todd: "Don't I know you?" she said. You knew she lived!
Mrs. Lovett: I was only thinking of you!
Sweeney Todd: [angry] You lied to me!
Mrs. Lovett: [sings] No, no, not lied at all! / No, I never lied!
Sweeney Todd: [sings] Lucy...
Mrs. Lovett: Said she took the poison, she did, / Never said that she died. / Poor thing, she lived...
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] I've come home again...
Mrs. Lovett: But it left her weak in the head, / All she did for months was just lie there in bed...
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Lucy...
Mrs. Lovett: Should've been in hospital, / Wound up in Bedlam instead, / Poor thing!
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Oh, my God...!
Mrs. Lovett: Better you should think she was dead. / Yes, I lied 'cause I love you!
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Lucy!
Mrs. Lovett: I'd be twice the wife she was!
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] What have I done?
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] I love you! Could that *thing* have cared for you like me?
[he turns toward Mrs. Lovett in anger]
Sweeney Todd: Mrs. Lovett, / You're a bloody wonder, / Eminently practical and yet / Appropriate as always. / As you've said repeatedly, / There's little point in dwelling on the past!
Mrs. Lovett: Do you mean it?
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] No, come here, my love... / Not a thing to fear, my love...
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] Everything I did, / I swear, / I thought / Was only for the best!
Sweeney Todd: [in unison] What's dead is dead!
Mrs. Lovett: [in unison] Believe me! Can we still be married?

Sweeney Todd: What is that?
Mrs. Lovett: It's fop, / Finest in the shop. / Or we have shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top. And I've just begun. Here's the politician, so oily it's served on a doily, have one.

Man in street - greets Todd after competition: Congratulations, Mr. Todd. May I ask you, sir, do you have your own establishment?
Mrs. Lovett: He certainly does. Sweeney Todd's Tonsorial Parlor, above my Meat Pie Emporium in Fleet Street.

Sweeney Todd: [sings] Rest now, my friends.
Mrs. Lovett: [sings in unison] Never you fear, Mr. Todd.
Sweeney Todd: Soon I'll unfold you.
Mrs. Lovett: [unison] You can move in here, Mr. Todd.
Sweeney Todd: Soon you'll know...
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: [in harmony] Splendors you never have dreamed all your days...
Mrs. Lovett: Will be yours. I'm your friend.
Sweeney Todd: [unison] My lucky friends.
Mrs. Lovett: And you're mine.
Sweeney Todd: Till now your shine...
Mrs. Lovett: Don't they shine beautiful?
Sweeney Todd: [unison] Was merely silver. / Friends...
Mrs. Lovett: [unison] Silver's good enough for me, Mr. T...
Sweeney Todd: You shall drip rubies, / You'll soon drip precious rubies...

Toby: Let Pirelli's / Miracle Elixir / Activate your roots, sir...
Sweeney Todd: Keep it off your boots, sir- / Eats right through.
Toby: Yes, get Pirelli's! / Use a bottle of it! / Ladies seem to love it...
Mrs. Lovett: Flies do, too!

[Sweeney Todd enters Mrs. Lovett's Pie Shop]
Mrs. Lovett: A customer!
[starts singing]
Mrs. Lovett: Wait! What's your rush? / What's your hurry? / You gave me such a... / Fright. I thought you was a ghost. / Half a minute, can'tcha? / Sit! Sit you down! Sit! / All I meant is that I / Haven't seen a customer for weeks. / Did you come in for a pie, sir? / Do forgive me if me head's a little vague... / What is that? / But you'd think we had the plague... / From the way people... / Keep avoiding... / No you don't! / Heaven knows I try, sir! / But there's no one comes in even to inhale... / Right you are, sir. Would you like a drop of ale? / Mind you, I can't hardly blame them.

[Toby invites customers to the pie shop; "God, That's Good" begins]
Toby: Ladies and gentlemen, / May I have your attention, puh-lease? / Are your nostrils aquiver and tingling as well / At that delicate, luscious ambrosial smell? / Yes they are, I can tell. / Well, ladies and gentlemen, / That aroma enriching the breeze / Is like nothing compared to its succulen source, / As the gourmets among you will tell you, of course. / Ladies and gentlemen, / You can't imagine the rapture in store... / Just inside of this door!
[Goes into the pie shop]
Toby: There you'll sample / Mrs. Lovett's meat pies, / Savory and sweet pies, / As you'll see. / You who eat pies, / Mrs. Lovett's meat pies / Conjure up the treat pies / Used to be!
Mrs. Lovett: Toby!
Toby: Coming!
Mrs. Lovett: Ale there!
Toby: Right, mum!
Mrs. Lovett: Quick, now! / Nice to see you, dearie, / How have you been keeping? / Cor, me bones is weary! / Toby! One for the gentleman... / Hear the birdies cheeping - / Helps to keep it cheery... / Toby! / Throw the old woman out! /... What's my secret? / Frankly, dear - forgive my candor - / Family secret, / All to do with herbs. / Things like being / Careful with your coriander, / That's what makes the gravy grander!

Mrs. Lovett: Hold it! / Bless my eyes - / Fresh supplies!
[a customer walks up to Todd's barbershop]
Mrs. Lovett: How's about it, dearie? / Be here in a twinkling!
Toby: [unison] Is that a pie / Fit for a king...
Mrs. Lovett: Just confirms my theory.
Toby: [unison] A wonrdous sweet...
Mrs. Lovett: Toby...! God watches over us.
Toby: [unison] And most delectable thing?
Mrs. Lovett: Didn't have an inkling...
Toby: [unison] You see, ma'am...
Mrs. Lovett: Positively eerie...
Toby: [unison] Why there is no meat pie...
Mrs. Lovett: [startled] Toby! / Throw the old woman out!

Mrs. Lovett: [sings about Benjamin Barker] He had this wife, you see, / Pretty little thing. / Silly little nit / Had her chance for the moon on a string... / Poor thing. Poor thing. / There was this Judge, you see, / Wanted her like mad. / Every day he'd send her a flower, / But did she come down from her tower? / Sat up there and sobbed by the hour, / Poor fool. / Ah, but there was worse yet to come... / Poor thing.

Mrs. Lovett: So what are we gonna do about the boy?
Sweeney Todd: Send him up!
Mrs. Lovett: No, Mr. T. Surely one's enough for today. Besides, I was thinking of hiring the lad to help me run the shop. Your poor knees aren't what they used to be.
Sweeney Todd: All right.
Mrs. Lovett: Of course, we're gonna have to stock up on the gin. Boy's drinking like a sailor.

Mrs. Lovett: [continues singing] No denying times is hard, sir - / Even harder than the worst pies in London. / Only lard and nothing more - / Is that just revolting? / All greasy and gritty, / It looks like it's molting, / And tastes like - / Well, pity / A woman alone / With limited wind / And the worst pies in London! / Ah sir, / Times is hard. Times is hard.
[finishes singing]
Mrs. Lovett: Trust me, dearie, it's gonna take a lot more than ale to wash that taste out. Come with me; we'll get you a nice tumbler of gin, eh?

Mrs. Lovett: I was only thinking of you.

Mrs. Lovett: [upon recognizing the body of Lucy/Beggar Woman] You...

Mrs. Lovett: Everything I did I swear I thought was only for the best!

Mrs. Lovett: We could have a life, us two. Maybe not like I dreamed. Maybe not like you remember. But we could get by.

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street (1982) (TV)
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Mrs Mooney has a pie shop. Does a business, but I notice something weird - lately all her neighbour's cats have disappeared.

Nellie Lovett: [singing, after Sweeney Todd has bitten into one of Mrs Lovett's pies] Is that just disgusting? You have to conceed it. It's nothing but crusting, here drink this - you'll need it.

Sweeney Todd: [singing] You there, my friend. Come, let me hold you. Now, with a sigh you grow warm in my hand, my friend, my clever friend. Rest now, my friends. Soon I'll unfold you. Soon you'll know splendors you never have dreamed all your days, my lucky friends. Till now your shine was merely silver. Friends you shall drip rubies...
Nellie Lovett: [singing]
Nellie Lovett: I'm your friend too, Mr. Todd. If you only knew, Mr. Todd - Ooh, Mr. Todd, you're warm in my hand. You've come home. Always had a fondness for you, I did. Never you fear, Mr. Todd, you can move in here, Mr. Todd. Splendors you never have dreamed All your days will be yours. I'm your friend. Don't they shine beautiful? Silver's good enough for me, Mr. T.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] You'll soon drip precious rubies...
Sweeney Todd: [holds up his razor]
Sweeney Todd: [singing] At last, my right arm is complete again!

Sweeney Todd: Later on, when it's dark, we'll take him to some secret place and bury him.
Nellie Lovett: Well, of course, we could do that. I don't suppose there's any relatives going to come poking around looking for him.
Nellie Lovett: [pause, as an idea strikes her]
Nellie Lovett: [singing] But... You know me. Sometimes ideas just pop into me head and I keep thinking... Seems a downright shame...
Sweeney Todd: Shame?
Nellie Lovett: Seems an awful waste... Such a nice plump frame wot's-his-name has... had... Has... Nor it can't be traced. Business needs a lift - Debts to be erased - Think of it as thrift, as a gift... If you get my drift...
[Todd stares blankly]
Nellie Lovett: No? Seems an awful waste. I mean, with the price of meat what it is, when you get it, IF you get it...
Sweeney Todd: [Getting the idea] Ha!
Nellie Lovett: Good, you got it.

Sweeney Todd: [singing] For what's the sound of the world out there?
Nellie Lovett: [singing] What, Mr. Todd, what, Mr. Todd, what is that sound?
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Those crunching noises pervading the air?
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around...
Sweeney Todd: [singing] It's man devouring man, my dear,
Todd, Mrs. Lovett: [singing] And who are we to deny it in here?

Sweeney Todd: [singing] What is that?
Nellie Lovett: [singing] It's priest. Have a little priest.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Is it really good?
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Sir, it's too good, at least. Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh, so it's pretty fresh.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Awful lot of fat.
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Only where it sat.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Haven't you got... poet, or something like that?
Nellie Lovett: [singing] No, you see the trouble with poet is how do you know it's deceased... try the priest!

Nellie Lovett: Now then, this might be a bit stringy, but then of course it's a fiddle player!
Sweeney Todd: No, no. This isn't fiddle player- it's PICCOLO player.
Nellie Lovett: How can you tell?
Sweeney Todd: It's PIPING hot.
Nellie Lovett: Then BLOW on it first!

Nellie Lovett: Since marine doesn't appeal to you, how about Rear Admiral?
Sweeney Todd: No, no. It's too salty. I prefer... General.
Nellie Lovett: With or without 'is privates? "With," is extra!

Tobias Ragg: [singing] No one's gonna hurt you, no one's gonna dare.
Nellie Lovett: [singing] I know what Toby deserves...
Tobias Ragg: [singing] Others can desert you... not to worry, whistle I'll be there.
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Here, have a nice bon-bon...
Tobias Ragg: [singing] Demons'll charm you with a smile, for a while, but in time... nothin' can harm you... not while I'm around.

[last lines]
Sweeney Todd: [singing] Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...
Company: [singing] Attend the tale of Sweeney Todd...
Sweeney Todd: [singing] He served a dark and a hungry god...
Company: [singing] He served a dark and a hungry god...
Sweeney Todd: [singing] To seek revenge may lead to Hell...
Nellie Lovett: [singing] But everyone does it, and seldom as well as Sweeney...
Company: [singing] As Sweeney Todd...
All: [singing] The demon barber of Fleet... Street...

Sweeney Todd: [singing] Have charity towards the world, my pet.
Nellie Lovett: [singing] Yes, yes, I know, my love.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] We'll take the customers that we can get.
Nellie Lovett: [singing] High-born and and low, my love.
Sweeney Todd: [singing] We'll not discriminate great from small. No, we'll serve anyone...
Sweeney Todd, Nellie Lovett: [singing together] - meaning anyone, and to anyone, at all!

Nellie Lovett: [singing "By the Sea"] All alone in our nest we could share our kippers / With the odd paying guest from the weekend trippers / With a nice sunny suite for the guests to rest in / Now and then, you could do a guest in / By the seeeeeeea...

Sweeney Todd: [during a sit-down in the parlor] There must be a way to the judge.
Nellie Lovett: Bloody ol' judge, always harpin' on the bloody ol' judge. 'ere we've got a nice respectable business goin'!

Nellie Lovett: Lawyer's rather nice.
Sweeney Todd: It is for a price.
Nellie Lovett: Order something else, though, to follow since no one should swallow it twice.
Sweeney Todd: Anything that's lean...
Nellie Lovett: Well, then, if you're British and loyal, you might enjoy Royal Marine. Anyway, it's clean. Though, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!
Sweeney Todd: Is that squire on the fire?
Nellie Lovett: Mercy, no sir, look closer, you'll notice it's grocer!
Sweeney Todd: It looks thicker, more like vicar.
Nellie Lovett: No, it has to be grocer - it's green!

Nellie Lovett: It's fop. Finest in the shop. Or we have some shepherd's pie peppered with actual shepherd on top! And I've just begun - that's a politician so oily it's served with a doily, not one.
Sweeney Todd: Put it on a bun. Well, you never know if it's going to run!

Nellie Lovett: You got any money? Listen to me! You got any money?
Sweeney Todd: No money.
Nellie Lovett: Then how you going to live even?
Sweeney Todd: I'll live. If I have to sweat in the sewers or in the plague hospital, I'll live - and I'll have them!

Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street in Concert (2001) (TV)
Mrs. Lovett: And who says the week's out yet? It's only Tuesday.

Beadle: Mr. Todd. Strange, sir. It seems your face is known to me.
Mrs. Lovett: Him?
Mrs. Lovett: That's a laugh, him being me uncle's cousin and arrived from Birmingham only yesterday.
Sweeney Todd: And yet already, I have heard Beadle Bamford spoken of with great respect.
Beadle: Well, sir, I do try for my neighbors. Fleet Street, eh? Above your pie shop, ma'am?
Mrs. Lovett: That's it, sir.
Beadle: Then, Mr. Todd, you shall surely be seing me before the week is out.
Sweeney Todd: You will be welcome, Beadle Bamford, and I guarantee to give you, without a penny's charge, the closest shave you will ever know.

[last lines]
Sweeney Todd: To seek revenge may lead to Hell,
Mrs. Lovett: But everyone does it if seldom as well...
Sweeney Todd, Mrs. Lovett: As Sweeney... as Sweeney Todd. The Demon Barber of Fleet Street.

Sweeney Todd (2006) (TV)
[first lines]
Man in crowd: She runs a brothel with these two. Obviously hasn't been pounding the justice enough. They'll make her pay in Newgate.
Mrs Lovett: Stop it! It's wrong!
Man in crowd: Get off me! Of course you'd stick up for that sorry slut.