Perry Mason
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Quotes for
Perry Mason (Character)
from "Perry Mason" (1957)

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The Case of the Lucky Legs (1935)
Thelma Bell: And somebody bumped against the bathroom door.
Perry Mason: In any country but this, they would have let him in.

Margie: Did you get anything out of Patton?
Perry Mason: No, only a knife.

Perry Mason: Margie was at Patton's apartment, and when I came in, she was taking a bath.
Thelma Bell: What's wrong with that? Don't lawyers take baths?
Perry Mason: Very few. I like them, but uh, the police wouldn't. They'd say that Margie was washing off bloodstains.

Perry Mason: [to Bradbury and Spudsy in the restaurant] Well, there's no one I'd rather pin this killing on than a doctor.

Perry Mason: [after exiting his chartered plane a little airsick] What's his name and where'd he go?
Airline Official: His name was Roberts. I dropped him at a bus for the Lakeview Hotel.
Perry Mason: They haven't got a lake here, have they?
Airline Official: No, but the hotel has beds for you to lie down on.
Perry Mason: That's a very clever remark. Take me to a taxi, please.

Policeman at Ambulance: [Seeing Mason rolling a woman on a gurney] Have an accident?
Perry Mason: No, thank you.

Perry Mason: [Cautioning Margie and Doray to stop embracing and leave before police arive] Hang together, and you'll hang separately!

Perry Mason: [Ridiculing Doray when he finds him alone in his hotel room] All alone in the bridal suite?
[He guffaws]
Perry Mason: You must love yourself.


The Case of the Black Cat (1936)
Perry Mason: Give me a 7 letter word that starts with S that means lawyer.
Della Street: Shyster.

District Attorney Hamilton Burger: [arresting Douglas Keene] Come with me, Mr. Keene.
Perry Mason: Oh don't be so formal, Burger, just call him Aunt Effie.

Perry Mason: [after announcing Wilma's cut out of the will] So what're you going to do now?
Wilma Laxter: Do you like waffles?
Perry Mason: Come again?
Wilma Laxter: I've managed to save away some money from my allowance, that way I can be independent. And I'm going to open a waffle shop, what do you think?
Perry Mason: On one condition.
Wilma Laxter: What's that?
Perry Mason: That you have plenty of melted butter.

Della Street: [seated at a booth in the waffle house] Are you tickling my ankle?
Perry Mason: You think I would?
Della Street: I know you are.
[looks down and sees Clinker]
Della Street: Oh!
[picks him up, looks at Perry]
Della Street: I'm sorry, I really thought that was you.
Perry Mason: Well, it's not a bad idea.

Perry Mason: [Working on a crossword puzzle] I tell you what I'll do, Della. I'll settle for a seven letter word beginning with S meaning lawyer.
Della Street: Shyster!
Perry Mason: Getting a bit fresh, aren't we, Della?

Perry Mason: [Walking through the apartment hallway] Louise DeVoe - that sounds more like a chorus girl than a nurse.
Paul Drake: What are you gonna tell her, chief?
Perry Mason: She's the one that's gotta tell - I hope.

Della Street: You and your cats! You'll probably end up in jail!
Perry Mason: A lot of interesting people in jail, Della.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Moth-Eaten Mink (#1.13)" (1957)
Perry Mason: Two pawn tickets. One she hides in the label of a mink coat. The other ticket stays in her purse, where anybody might find it. It's inconsistent.
Paul Drake: She's a woman.
Perry Mason: No, that's no excuse.

Lt. Tragg: [to the murderer, after a gunfight in which the murderer is seriously wounded] Isn't one cop enough, you miserable...
Perry Mason: You all right, Tragg?
Lt. Tragg: Yeah. Just sick to my stomach at the sight of *him*.

Paul Drake: I'm not a lawyer. I don't have your professional immunity.
Perry Mason: It's your duty to answer questions. You don't have to run around giving out information.

[first lines]
Morey Allen: Miss Street, Mr. Mason.
Della Street: Hello, Morey.
Perry Mason: How's it going, Morey?
Morey Allen: Fine. I have your table all ready.

[last lines]
Morey Allen: How about a little dessert?
Della Street: I might just find room for a piece of pie and coffee.
Paul Drake: Ice cream for me, Morey, chocolate.
Morey Allen: Right. How about you, Mr. Mason?
Perry Mason: Oh, anything, and coffee.
Morey Allen: Anything?
Perry Mason: Well, anything but a moth-eaten mink.

Lt. Tragg: Homicide. Tragg.
Perry Mason: Perry Mason, Lieutenant. Will you do me a favor?
Lt. Tragg: I doubt it, but go ahead.


The Case of the Howling Dog (1934)
Perry Mason: Remember, Cartwright, don't have secrets from your lawyer. I won't betray your confidence.

Della Street: I'm afraid you're on pretty thin ice, Mr. Mason.
Perry Mason: Will you skate with me? I haven't fallen through yet.
Della Street: It's dangerous.
Perry Mason: Will you take a chance?
Della Street: You know I will.

Perry Mason: [to Bessie] Remember, nobody ever got into trouble by not talking too much.

District Attorney Claude Drumm: Mason, you've got the reputation of being one of the shrewdest criminal lawyers in the country.
Perry Mason: Thank you.
District Attorney Claude Drumm: But even the cleverest lawyer sometimes puts his foot into it.

Perry Mason: [to Bessie] You can't afford to lie to them, and you can't afford to tell them the truth. You're in a jam, and you've got to keep quiet! Do you understand?


The Case of the Stuttering Bishop (1937)
Paul Drake: [Trying the door] It's locked!
[He starts looking through his skeleton keys]
Paul Drake: Which will it be? Conscience or curiosity?
Perry Mason: Curiosity.

District Attorney Hamilton Burger: [after Perry arrives at the pier] Tell me, what are you doing down here?
Perry Mason: Why, uh, my presence here is purely coincidental.
District Attorney Hamilton Burger: Whenever you show up immediately after a murder has been committed, there's only one answer.

Perry Mason: [to Della] Bishops don't often need lawyers. Show him in.

Perry Mason: Uh, remind me to give me a raise in the morning.
Della Street: I'll remember to forget that.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Fan Dancer's Horse (#1.15)" (1957)
Perry Mason: Could Jasper have killed Callender?
Paul Drake: Perry, he was only in there ten seconds.
Perry Mason: How long's it take to stick a sword into a man?

[last lines]
[waiter gives Perry a package]
Perry Mason: [reading card] "Just so you'll remember a grateful client, Lois. The real Cherie Chi Chi."
[Perry opens the package to find a feather fan]
Paul Drake: Well, you won't be needing me again. From now on, you'll be well-covered.

Perry Mason: Do you know what happens to little girls who lie to their lawyers? In murder cases, they end up in Death Row at San Quentin. Or if they happen to be nice-looking like you, they might have a fifty-fifty chance of making the women's prison at Tehachapi, cooped up in a cell with no makeup, the drab routine...
Lois Fenton: Stop!
Perry Mason: I'm trying to get the truth!
Lois Fenton: You have it!
Perry Mason: Yes, I *have* had it! We're going to the police.

Perry Mason: It's going to be a rough one, Paul.
Paul Drake: Yeah. Particularly since Lois Fenton's got to be guilty.
Perry Mason: Well, I'm glad you're not going to be on the jury!


The Case of the Velvet Claws (1936)
Leah Milnor: I want that article out of Spicy Bits, and I want it out NOW.
Perry Mason: Will you put the gun down please?
Leah Milnor: Have you never read Mc Nae's Guide? That article is malicious rubbish.

Perry Mason: Tell me who's the real owner of this blackmail rag and maybe we can make a trade.
Frank Locke, an alias of Cecil Dawson: Do you smoke it or take it in the arm? I'm the owner!

Perry Mason: [Hanging up the phone perplexed, Perry sees the houseboy by the door] Muh lad, I'll have that glass of Scotch you offered.
Filipino houseboy: [Initially puzzled, but he regains his wits] Scotch?... Oh, yes. Me too, sir.

Perry Mason: Down South is a thousand miles as the crow flies, but I'm no crow.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Velvet Claws (#6.22)" (1963)
Perry Mason: I don't think much of people who prey on other people's weaknesses - who peddle gossip, who blow up snapshots into dirty postcards.

Perry Mason: Eva, some things a lawyer has to do aren't very pleasant. He takes his clients as they come. They're in trouble, so he can't always expect them to tell the truth.
Eva Belter: Oh! Oh, that. Perry, darling, I told you the other day I was terribly sorry about any untruths that I...
Perry Mason: He's a fool if he completely trusts any client, but that's beside the point. His job is to believe and to help them as best he can. The only times when he's really a fool is when he sticks by a client who won't trust him.

[last lines]
Perry Mason: [to Della] Well, sure, as legal counsel for the new owner. Well, I certainly intend to go on being Eva's representative. You don't have any objections to that, do you?


Perry Mason: The Case of the Sinister Spirit (1987) (TV)
Paul Drake Jr.: Somebody is scaring her.
Perry Mason: Well prove it, and do it quickly.

Perry Mason: Too bad you didn't support the hypotheses that David Hall committed suicide, you might never have been found out.
Andrew Lloyd: I wanted the world to remember David Hall, not as some suicidal neurotic but as a man who is, a hero, as heroes often do; he met a sad, sudden, and tragic death.

Jordan White: Somebody must've hired a private eye to tail me.
Perry Mason: David Hall?
Jordan White: I don't know why he would. He was at the top, right along with Stephen King, he wouldn't need money from blackmail.


The Case of the Curious Bride (1935)
Perry Mason: She's more of a legitimate fake than I thought she was.

Perry Mason: [Advising a client] Say nothing and plenty of it.

District Attorney Stacey: [Referring to the whereabouts of Detecive Lucas, who's obviously avoiding Perry] Probably find him at the club. Out yesterday I shot a...
Perry Mason: [Frustrated] You boys ain't playin' golf. You're playing hide-and-seek. It's a kid's game at best, Mr. D.A.
Perry Mason: [a frustrated Mason uses his cane to hit one of the golf balls on Stacey's floor and it hits a nearby lamp] Bad shot, Mr. Mason.
Perry Mason: [On his way out the door] Hah-hah!


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Angry Mourner (#1.7)" (1957)
Della Street: Is that the cook?
Perry Mason: And housekeeper.
Della Street: You'll never convince me she was hired just to dust the furniture.

[last lines]
Belle Adrian: Mr. Mason, were you surprised when you found I didn't do it?
Perry Mason: Of course not, Mrs. Adrian. I knew that all along. You just weren't the type.
Paul Drake: And who is the type, pray tell?
Della Street: Oh, that's easy, Paul. Anyone who is not represented by Perry Mason.

Perry Mason: For some unaccountable reason, Mrs. Adrian, people in trouble foolishly try to escape it by lying to their lawyers. But your allowing me to go into court without complete knowledge of the facts is inexcusable.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Sun Bather's Diary (#1.17)" (1958)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: [At a restaurant, Burger has had to admit that he was wrong accusing Mason of perjury] Now, under the circumstances, the least I can do is buy your lunch.
Hamilton Burger: All right, if you insist.
Perry Mason: I do insist. Amy... One order of crow for the gentleman. He'll eat it here.

[first lines]
Della Street: Ever hear the story of the little girl who has nothing to wear? She wants to talk to you.
Perry Mason: Heh. All right, Della, I give up.
Della Street: No joke. She lives in a trailer, and somebody stole it. Trailer hitch and all, along with everything she owns.

Arlene Dowling: [calling from a golf course phone, wearing nothing but a beach towel] My name is Arlene Dowling. I don't know how much your secretary told you.
Perry Mason: [in his office] Just the bare facts.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Posthumous Painter (#5.9)" (1961)
Perry Mason: Good art is like music. It should be enjoyed, not dissected.
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: [chuckles] An excellent sentiment, Mr. Mason, but a bit basic, perhaps. You wanted to see me? I'm Vincent Kenyon.
Perry Mason: Oh, Dr. Kenyon. I'm interested in a painting called "The Three Witches." I was told you'd bought it.
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Yes, you-you passed it as you came in. It's the best of the Culross collection.
Perry Mason: It has been suggested that the painting was completed by another artist after Culross' death.
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Are you Mrs. Culross' attorney? A very emotional woman, Mr. Mason. Totally ignorant of art. This canvas is genuine, from first stroke to last.
Perry Mason: You seem to be an expert on Culross, Dr. Kenyon.
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Oh, I should be. I was the first to recognize his talent.
Perry Mason: You'd have no objection to our verifying your observation scientifically?
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Well, inexpert handling of a valuable canvas is really quite out of the question.
Perry Mason: That's reasonable, Doctor. But we will in no way touch the painting.
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Ah. Well, very well.
[Mason examines the painting with a piece of equipment]
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Well, Mr. Mason, are you satisfied?
Perry Mason: Completely. My thanks for your cooperation.
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Well, if you'd accepted my opinion, you could have saved yourself trouble. Anyone, even with the remotest familiarity with Culross' work, would never begin to doubt the authenticity of this canvas. Obviously, you are wasting your time.
Perry Mason: You could be right, Dr. Kenyon. Good day.
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Good day, Mr. Mason.

Perry Mason: Dr. Kenyon, you are an expert on fine arts?
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: It has been said so.
Perry Mason: Uh, now, when you purchased the painting titled "Three Witches" for the Hessler collection, it was in the belief that Jack Culross was dead?
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Yes.
Perry Mason: As you previously stated, you were the unwitting victim of a fraud.
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Well, obviously.
Perry Mason: As you were when you bought a forged Matisse from Culross?
Hamilton Burger: Your Honor, we protest.
Judge: The witness will answer the question.
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Well, I...
Perry Mason: Dr. Kenyon, did you not buy from Jack Culross an alleged Matisse called "Blue Waters"?
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: Yes, I did.
Perry Mason: Are you aware that the genuine "Blue Waters" is in a private collection in London?
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: But I found that out later.
Hamilton Burger: Your Honor, we protest this irrelevant attempt to degrade a witness for the state.
Judge: Since this is related to probity of an expert witness, I find it most relevant and illuminating. Continue, Mr. Mason.
Perry Mason: Was Culross blackmailing you in order to promote his career, Dr. Kenyon?
Dr. Vincent Kenyon: [pause] I won't answer! I won't!

[last lines]
Edna Culross: How ironic. They should be more valuable now that he's gone.
[gives Perry a painting]
Perry Mason: Thank you, Edna.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Hesitant Hostess (#1.29)" (1958)
Perry Mason: The traffic in narcotics has enraged every decent-thinking man and woman in this country.

Perry Mason: [Lt.Tragg enters Perry's office] Well, how are you, Tragg?
Lt. Tragg: Well, I'm glad to see you in a good humor. Now, sit down and let me make you unhappy.

[last lines]
Della Street: Just what do you know about business colleges?
Paul Drake: Are you kidding? I used to teach at one of the finest.
Perry Mason: Mm-hmm. Paul was a track coach. They figured any girl he couldn't catch in three laps around the desk was, uh, ready for the business world.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Unwelcome Bride (#5.14)" (1961)
Perry Mason: Paul, how do you like high altitudes?
Paul Drake: You, um, want me to jump off the balcony?

Perry Mason: Paul, how good are you at finding a needle in a haystack?
Paul Drake: I got a pretty good magnet.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Haunted Husband (#1.19)" (1958)
Perry Mason: Tragg, how long have we known each other?
Lt. Tragg: Long enough.
Perry Mason: And during that time you've called me everything under the sun.
Lt. Tragg: It still goes. For my dough, you're... you're unscrupulous, conniving, uh, unprincipled...
Perry Mason: And what about stupid?
Lt. Tragg: No, stupid, you're not.

[last lines]
Lt. Tragg: Oy gevalt.
Perry Mason: After you, Lieutenant.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Half-Wakened Wife (#1.26)" (1958)
Della Street: Are we going to Pinewood Lake?
Perry Mason: Not we, me.
Della Street: Wanna bet?

[last lines]
Perry Mason: Come on, Frank. Let's get out of here.
Perry Mason: [giving a suitcase to Sgt Dix] Here you are, Sergeant.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Spurious Sister (#3.1)" (1959)
[last lines]
Della Street: Incidentally, Mr. Chapman, I have a message for you from her. She says that work's piling up, things are in a turmoil, and the office needs you.
Perry Mason: That sounds exactly like a secretary.

Perry Mason: Della, how would you like to get a divorce?
Della Street: I thought you were supposed to be married first.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Restless Redhead (#1.1)" (1957)
Lt. Tragg: Well! Looks like old-home week.
Perry Mason: Yes, doesn't it? However, I wasn't aware there was a law forbidding an attorney from seeing his client.
Lt. Tragg: Oh, maybe I can do something about it next session of the legislature.

[last lines]
Perry Mason: [to Evelyn Bagby] He wanted you to have some compensation for that trouble in Riverside. And then too, you have red hair.
Della Street: What does that have to do with it?
Perry Mason: Well, Helene Chaney has red hair. He must be partial to redheads.
Della Street: [chuckles] Oh.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Borrowed Baby (#5.26)" (1962)
[first lines]
Perry Mason: Why the sigh? I thought the dinner was excellent.
Della Street: It isn't the dinner. I'm merely letting out my breath.
Perry Mason: Your breath?
Della Street: I've been holding it ever since we sat down. Do you realize that this is the first meal we've had in weeks that hasn't been interrupted by a frantic phone call from someone... the office or a worried client?

Perry Mason: I almost wish I'd specialized in something a little less strenuous than criminal law.
Della Street: [laughs] You know you don't mean that.
Perry Mason: No, but I do wish we didn't have to finish that brief tonight.
Della Street: I was hoping you'd forgotten.
Perry Mason: And if I had?
Della Street: Like a good, dutiful secretary, I would have reminded you... maybe.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Frantic Flyer (#3.12)" (1960)
Zack Davis: Well, I... That's real tricky. Real complicated and tricky. Uh, I guess murder's like that.
Perry Mason: No, sir. Murder is usually very simple. It's the getting away with it that's real complicated and tricky.

[last lines]
Paul Drake: That's a... That's a great idea. Uh, why don't you just, uh, fill my check out like that. Uh, blank. Just sign it.
Perry Mason: [pause] All right, Paul.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Grumbling Grandfather (#4.27)" (1961)
Perry Mason: Della, I'm going to the county courthouse. Apparently Hamilton Burger is winning a case.

[last lines]
David Gideon: Well, here's your book back, Mr. Mason.
J. J. Gideon: What's that? Blackstone?
David Gideon: Well, a guy has to read something when he's in jail, but now I'm out.
J. J. Gideon: Now, look here, son...
Perry Mason: Oh, I expect he'll be around to borrow a few more, Mr. Gideon.
David Gideon: Sure, Grandad, you may be proud of me yet.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Prudent Prosecutor (#3.14)" (1960)
Perry Mason: Now, dad-blame it, let's have the whole truth.

District Attorney Hamilton Burger: Perry, If Jefferson Pike is arraigned for this crime, and... if you can find any merit in the case...
Perry Mason: I'll defend him, Hamilton. Even if he did save your life.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Madcap Modiste (#3.22)" (1960)
Perry Mason: Della...
Della Street: Mm-hm?
Perry Mason: ...Della, think like a woman, will you?
Della Street: I'll try.

Perry Mason: Number 42. I saw that today. What's wrong with it?
Della Street: Well, it doesn't belong. Forty-one of them do, but this one doesn't. Reason: her deep-seated inconsistency.
Perry Mason: You mean she was a normal woman.
Della Street: I'll try to overlook that.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Bogus Books (#6.1)" (1962)
Paul Drake: Uh, doesn't this come under the general heading of breaking and entering?
Perry Mason: No, Ellen gave me her key. Besides, we have Lieutenant Tragg's permission.
Paul Drake: That was ten days ago.
Perry Mason: He didn't set any time limit.

[last lines]
Perry Mason: Peter, what's the real reason you're hanging around and interfering so much?
Pete Norland: Well, now, if you'd, uh, really like to know, I've been trying to get up, uh, enough nerve to, um, ask Miss Carter to marry me.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Corresponding Corpse (#2.1)" (1958)
Perry Mason: [answers telephone] Hello?
Lt. Tragg: You don't care what kind of hours you keep.
Perry Mason: Who is this?
Lt. Tragg: Your friend and admirer.
Perry Mason: Lieutenant Tragg?
Lt. Tragg: Yes, it is.

[last lines]
Paul Drake: Well, Perry wanted me to talk to that salesman and find out about the knitting needles.
[passes Perry an open box from which he removes a check writing machine]
Perry Mason: It's may fault, Della. I should have known he didn't have any sales resistance.
Perry Mason: [Perry sets the machine in front of Della] Well, here. Write him a check.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Missing Melody (#5.3)" (1961)
[first lines]
Perry Mason: Hello, Mr. Courtland.
Templeton Courtland: Afternoon, Perry; Miss Street.
Della Street: Aren't you lucky to have such a beautiful day for your daughter's wedding?
Templeton Courtland: Perhaps.

[last lines]
David Gideon: But how did you actually get the judge to let you do that, Mr. Mason?
Perry Mason: I didn't. He suggested the idea himself... After you.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Shapely Shadow (#5.16)" (1962)
Hamilton Burger: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, Mr. Mason has indeed surpassed himself. He has created for you a story which is pure poppycock! Absolute and complete nonsense. The defendant in this case is a shrewd, scheming woman. She seduced her employer, she stole from him, and finally she murdered him. And as for Mr. Mason's ridiculous theory about a hose, this is an *abandoned* real estate office we're talking about. The water's been shut off there for over a year. How could anyone possibly...
Perry Mason: Your honor, the District Attorney is stating facts not in evidence. Since he lost the opportunity to get these matters in legitimately, in rebuttal, he is now trying to do it through prejudicial misconduct. I ask the court to declare a mistrial.
Hamilton Burger: A *mistrial*? How can you...
Judge: Mr. Burger, Mr. Mason's point is well taken...

Paul Drake: Why is it?... Every time a beautiful girl walks into this office, my normally intelligent friend...
Perry Mason: Oh, she wasn't so beautiful, Paul. That's what intrigued me.
Paul Drake: You're worse off than I thought.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Lazy Lover (#1.35)" (1958)
Lt. Tragg: Are you Mrs. Allred's lawyer, Mason, or are you just acting as an emcee?
Perry Mason: I happen to be her attorney, Lieutenant.

[last lines]
Perry Mason: Burger had it right the first time. I just couldn't bring myself to the point of agreeing with him. Might establish a dangerous precedent.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Garrulous Gambler (#3.3)" (1959)
Lt. Tragg: I hope you forgive this intrusion.
Perry Mason: I'm always glad to see you, lieutenant.
Lt. Tragg: Well, let's say sometimes you're gladder than others.

[last lines]
Della Street: [as a clock bell starts to chime for midnight] Just once, do you suppose we could get out of here before midnight?
Perry Mason: Let's go, Cinderella. We'd better hurry.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Lonely Heiress (#1.20)" (1958)
Perry Mason: Why did you go to the Blue Bell Motel on the night of the murder?
Edmund Arthur Lacey: As I said, to thwart any swindle which might reflect on the good name of my publication.
Perry Mason: Well, if you had no control over Mr. Barnaby's actions, how did you expect to accomplish that?
Edmund Arthur Lacey: Well, I... I hoped to reason with him.
Perry Mason: Did you talk with Mr. Barnaby?
Edmund Arthur Lacey: Well, no. No, I never entered his room.
Perry Mason: Then how did you hope to reason with him? By mental telepathy?

[last lines]
Della Street: It's exactly twenty minutes after ten, and I haven't eaten since noon. Now, which of you two handsome gentlemen is going to take me to dinner?
Paul Drake: Uh, just a minute.
[Paul gets a coin from his pocket]
Paul Drake: Call it, Perry.
Perry Mason: [as Paul flips the coin] Uh, heads.
[all watch as it lands on it side by leaning against a chair leg]
Paul Drake: Well, we both win.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Brazen Bequest (#5.12)" (1961)
Sgt. Landro: [asking about the man who was murdered] You can begin by telling me what enemies he had.
James Vardon: Enemies? Bob had no enemies!
Perry Mason: He had one.

[last lines]
Della Street: I knew he didn't do that.
Perry Mason: How?
Della Street: Well, Mrs. Cromwell told me. She said that... Well, she just convinced me that her husband couldn't have done such a thing.
Perry Mason: There you are. No logic, but it...
Perry Mason, Paul Drake: [together] ... confirms your faith in women.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Travelling Treasure (#5.8)" (1961)
Paul Drake: [quoting Charles E. Carryl's poem] "Oh, a capital ship for an ocean trip, is a Walloping Window-blind." You, uh, are you prone to mal de mer, Perry?
Perry Mason: Only on a windjammer, rounding a horn.

[last lines]
Scot Cahill: You know, Perry, I just don't know how you spot these things. It must be your brains, huh? It, uh, sure couldn't be your eyesight.
Perry Mason: What kind of a crack is that?
Scot Cahill: Well, uh, you sir, have just won a case for me, thank goodness. But you're just about to lose yourself a fish.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Married Moonlighter (#2.7)" (1958)
Perry Mason: I'd love to help, Eileen, if only because you were the first woman who ever proposed to me.
[to Della Street]
Perry Mason: It was on her father's farm in Oregon. She was seven at the time.

[last lines]
Paul Drake: The way I see it, Perry doesn't stand to make a dime in this case. After all, the Harrison's can't afford to pay him. So how can he afford to pay me?
Perry Mason: That's a very good question, Paul. Come to think of it, I can't.
[Perry proceeds to tear up Paul's check that Della had just given him]


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Sulky Girl (#1.5)" (1957)
[last lines]
Clara Mayfield: You know what I'm afraid of? I may have to raise another sulky girl.
Perry Mason: Oh, no, I'm holding out for a sulky boy.

Paul Drake: You did great.
Perry Mason: Enjoy it?
Paul Drake: Burger's footprints all over your back!


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Spanish Cross (#2.28)" (1959)
Paul Drake: [holding a fortune dispensed from a scale] According to this, I was just about to meet a tall, handsome gentleman who would make me independently wealthy.
Perry Mason: I'll tell him when I see him.

[last lines]
Perry Mason: Now, Jim, don't you be a stranger.
Jimmy Morrow: Oh, I won't.
[leaves Perry's office]
Della Street: Quite a boy.
Perry Mason: Quite a man.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Credulous Quarry (#4.2)" (1960)
[last lines]
Della Street: You've tampered with my digestion and obstructed my feeding procedure for quite some time.
Perry Mason: I plead guilty. What's the fine?
Della Street: One dinner.
Perry Mason: Mmm...
Della Street: Payable now.

Hamilton Burger: At about five minutes to nine on the night of the murder, did you receive a phone call which caused you...
Perry Mason: Objection, your Honor. Incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial, and improper questioning in that it takes up matters not part of the direct examination.
Judge: Sustained.
Hamilton Burger: Mr. Dorrell, did you have an appointment at nine o'clock on the night of the murder with the defendant at your house...
Perry Mason: Objection, your Honor, on the same grounds.
Hamilton Burger: Your Honor, these questions are certainly germane to the issues in this case.
Perry Mason: Your Honor, the prosecution had the opportunity of bringing out all these germane issues when it presented its case. The prosecution chose not to do so.
Judge: Sustained. Mr. Burger, you will confine yourself to proper cross-examination.
Hamilton Burger: Very well, I have no further questions of the witness at this time. I will bring out what I want to bring out on rebuttal!
Perry Mason: That would be when the defense is finished with its case.
Hamilton Burger: Naturally, Mr. Mason.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Fraudulent Foto (#2.16)" (1959)
Lt. Tragg: [at the murder scene] Uh, what brings you here?
Perry Mason: I wanted to have a little talk with Marshall Scott.
[pause]
Perry Mason: Murder?
Lt. Tragg: That's right. What was the little, uh, talk about?
Perry Mason: That's, um, confidential, Lieutenant. That bookend the murder weapon?
Lt. Tragg: That's, um, confidential, Counselor.

[last lines]
Brander Harris: [while dining with Perry and Delta] Well, premeditation or no, I don't know how I can every repay you.
Perry Mason: Uh...
[hands Brander Harris the check for dinner]


"Perry Mason: The Case of Paul Drake's Dilemma (#3.6)" (1959)
Paul Drake: Perry... isn't there anything else you want to ask me?
Perry Mason: Paul... the only real doubt I have about you is what you're gonna to say when you see my bill.

[last lines]
Perry Mason: You know, when I leave here, I'm meeting Paul Drake at a restaurant. He'll pick up the check for dinner. That'll be the fee for my services. He's just a friend, but I never once doubted his innocence.
Henry W. Dameron: What do you mean by that?
Perry Mason: Mr. Dameron... I've never before met a person so far removed from humanity that he believed every on of his own children capable of committing a murder.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Larcenous Lady (#4.12)" (1960)
[last lines]
Della Street: What about us?
Perry Mason: Plans? I've got some.
Della Street: I'm not talking about our jobs.
Perry Mason: Well, I am. Here. Take a note. New French restaurant, just opened up, specializes in rack of lamb, mint sauce, Lyonnaise potatoes... Crepes Suzette. Hmm?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Lurid Letter (#6.10)" (1962)
Perry Mason: Nice kid.
Perry Mason: Kid? You ought to feel the arms on that moose.
Perry Mason: You can take him.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Pint-Sized Client (#2.3)" (1958)
[last lines]
Della Street: Well, then you'll both have a lot of money.
Nicky Renzi: Well, yeah, but when?
Perry Mason: In a few days, Nicky. A few days.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Frustrated Folksinger (#8.15)" (1965)
Perry Mason: Find it Paul, use a fine tooth comb
Paul Drake: Mind if I use a vacuum


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Bashful Burro (#3.19)" (1960)
[last lines]
Paul Drake: All right, what in the world did you want with a silver-plated horseshoe?
Perry Mason: Oh, you mean this?
[hold up horseshoe]
Perry Mason: This was just to bring us luck.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Torrid Tapestry (#4.23)" (1961)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Well, Claude, I guess you finally made yourself a deal.
Claude Demay: Ten thousand dollars. I... Well, I guess I have.
Jim Hazlett: It's a deal.
Claude Demay: A deal.
Jim Hazlett: All right.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Libelous Locket (#6.17)" (1963)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Professor, do you still believe the perfect trial lawyer is a cross between a parrot and a jackass?
Prof. Edward Lindley: No, Mr. Mason. I now believe the perfect trial lawyer needs the eye of an eagle, the heart of a lion, and a lot of help.
Perry Mason: My sentiments exactly.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Daring Decoy (#1.28)" (1958)
[last lines]
Della Street: He's about 33, isn't he? That's a good age for her, don't you think?
Perry Mason: What are you up to now, Miss Fix-it?
Della Street: Well, I just thought since they were both so interested in Cal-Texas, it would be a good time for a merger.
Perry Mason: [amused, exasperated] Oh, come on.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Artful Dodger (#3.9)" (1959)
Perry Mason: Well, I'm sure you can always get her, lieutenant... with a warrant.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Violent Vest (#4.24)" (1961)
[last lines]
Buddy Frye: But suppose Ida Albright had done it?
Perry Mason: No. Albright may have seen himself in all sorts of romantic situations, But to Ida he was just a poor goose about to lay a golden egg. A five-thousand dollar golden egg.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Unsuitable Uncle (#6.7)" (1962)
[last lines]
Paula Durham: Oh, that reminds me, Mr. Mason. My mother sends her thanks. I don't know exactly what for, though.
Perry Mason: I can't imagine, either, but my thanks for her thanks.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Impatient Partner (#5.2)" (1961)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: I always have faith, Mr. Fallon. Faith in what Judge Learned Hand called "the eventual supremacy of reason."


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Slandered Submarine (#3.23)" (1960)
[last lines]
Paul Drake: You know, one of these days I'm gonna take a nice, long sea voyage.
Perry Mason: Any particular place?
Paul Drake: No, just anywhere. I haven't made up my mind yet.
Perry Mason: The, uh, Commander know a slogan that might help you.
Paul Drake: Oh. What's that?
Cmdr. Jerome Burke: Join the Navy and see the world.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Ill-Fated Faker (#4.3)" (1960)
[last lines]
Carl Gorman: But poor Betty, here, having to bear all the burden.
Della Street: Nonsense, Mr. Gorman. That's what secretaries are for, isn't it?
Perry Mason: Excuse me.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Runaway Corpse (#1.10)" (1957)
[last lines]
[Della has been struggling with trying to get a painting to hang straight]
Della Street: What's wrong with this picture, anyway?
Perry Mason: It's Beckmeyer's influence, Della. Just a case of a slightly crooked frame.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Baited Hook (#1.14)" (1957)
Perry Mason: [to Lt. Tragg] I'm a lawyer, not a detective.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Garrulous Go-Between (#7.22)" (1964)
Paul Drake: Hey, we're a regular couple of cupids.
Perry Mason: You know I just can't see it.
Paul Drake: What?
Perry Mason: You with a bow and arrow.
Paul Drake: No, what about you with wings.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Sardonic Sergeant (#2.4)" (1958)
[last lines]
Paul Drake: I suppose so. Well, I'd better shove off. I don't want to keep the little lady waiting.
Perry Mason: What's the matter, Paul? Your money burning a hole in your pocket?
[Paul pulls out some money that has been burnt]
Della Street: Where did you get that?
Paul Drake: Don't worry. It isn't Corregidor money. I put a cigarette down on my money clip this morning. So, I figured it was just the thing to spend on a hot date.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Substitute Face (#1.32)" (1958)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: And just in case your interested, Della...
Della Street: Mm-hmm.
Perry Mason: ...it floored me, too.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Carefree Coronary (#9.6)" (1965)
Perry Mason: How's your bedside manner, Paul?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Sleepwalker's Niece (#1.2)" (1957)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Nice people.
Della Street: Mm-hm. They deserve a wonderful honeymoon.
Perry Mason: I hope he doesn't walk in his sleep.
Della Street: After waiting 15 years?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Final Fade-Out (#9.30)" (1966)
Perry Mason: Now it seems to me the place to start is at the beginning.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Stuttering Bishop (#2.20)" (1959)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Are you ready to forgive her?
Carol Delaney: D-do you have her address?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Dodging Domino (#6.6)" (1962)
[last lines]
Paul Drake: Yeah, some trick.
Perry Mason: Considering the results, wouldn't you say it was more of a treat?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Provocative Protege (#4.8)" (1960)
[last lines]
Paul Drake: Well, I, uh, wonder if she'll remember.
Perry Mason: What, Paul?
Paul Drake: To send us tickets to her first concert.
Perry Mason: Della, remind her to send us four tickets.
Paul Drake: Four? There are only three of us.
Perry Mason: Well, you should be able to find a blond music-lover.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Crooked Candle (#1.11)" (1957)
Lt. Tragg: I don't need an autopsy to tag this one. It screams murder.
Perry Mason: Well, when it stops screaming and starts following the rules of evidence, I'll start listening.
Lt. Tragg: My, we're very legal this morning.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Fugitive Nurse (#1.22)" (1958)
Perry Mason: Will you come back?
Gladys Strome: Why should I? For the first time in my life, I'm happy.
Perry Mason: What kind of happiness can you build on someone else's misfortune?
Gladys Strome: Please, spare us the bromides.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the One-Eyed Witness (#1.23)" (1958)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Where do you want to go?
Della Street: Ferrold's Cafe.
Perry Mason: Why there?
Della Street: Well, there's something that still puzzles me in this case.
Perry Mason: Mmm-hmm?
Della Street: What could they possible put in a cup of coffee to make it worth a dollar?
Perry Mason: No more questions, please.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Irate Inventor (#3.25)" (1960)
[last lines]
Della Street: Well, it may be all over for all of you, but it's certainly no over for me.
Perry Mason: Oh, what's unfinished as far as you're concerned, Della?
Della Street: A little matter of my 40 percent in the company.
Robert Hayden: That's right you own it.
Della Street: Uh-huh. Of course, I don't mean to be mercenary. I'll gladly give up my interest for the purchase price.
Robert Hayden: Well, how much?
Della Street: One dollar. Just exactly what I paid for it. That's the least I can expect if I'm going to give up the idea of being rich.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Fiery Fingers (#1.31)" (1958)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Uh, my fee? Well, uh, what do you think is fair?
Nora Mae Quincey: Well, I paid you five dollars the first day. It was high, but it was worth it.
Perry Mason: What do you think now?
Nora Mae Quincey: Well, I want to do the right thing. After all, I could've gone to prison, or even worse. Would twenty-five dollars be all right?
Perry Mason: Just exactly the figure I had in mind.
Nora Mae Quincey: Well, good. I've got it right here. One, two...


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Drowning Duck (#1.4)" (1957)
[last lines]
Marv Adams: I only saw the whole town turn against me overnight.
Perry Mason: Did you, Marv? Helen's part of the town.
Della Street: [to Marv] Well, don't just stand there. Do something.
[Marv kisses Helen]


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Roving River (#5.15)" (1961)
[last lines]
Judy Bryant: The property doesn't belong to me. It belongs to my mother.
Perry Mason: But your mother wanted the agreement in both your names, Judy.
Judy Bryant: Mother, what am I gonna do with you?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Vanishing Victim (#9.17)" (1966)
Perry Mason: When all else fails, there's only one thing left to do - that's appeal to someone's better instincts.
Paul Drake: And hope he has some.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Ominous Outcast (#3.24)" (1960)
[last lines]
Bob Lansing: You know, after all is said and done, My father was still what he was.
Della Street: He did try to take care of you, Bob.
Bob Lansing: Yeah, I guess so. Doesn't seem to matter much.
Perry Mason: Doesn't matter at all, Bob, because you are what you are.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Difficult Detour (#4.21)" (1961)
[last lines]
Jim Ames: Into Bentonville Park, huh? Hmm. Why not? I've never turned away from a good business proposition. Suppose we, uh... Suppose we talk about it, eh?
Perry Mason: Suppose we do.
Jim Ames: Tell me now...


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Bedeviled Doctor (#2.22)" (1959)
[last lines]
Della Street: I don't know a secretary who would go to bat like that for her boss.
Perry Mason: I don't either. Shall we?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Wayward Wife (#3.13)" (1960)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: [to Lieutenant Tragg] It was self-defense.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Purple Woman (#2.9)" (1958)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Della, there was an article in The Law Journal recently. Let me quote you the last paragraph. "A well-tried criminal case is a credit to all involved. There is no winning or no losing in the true administration of justice." The article was signed Hamilton Burger. Come on, sit down, Hamilton.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Ugly Duckling (#7.30)" (1964)
Perry Mason: Alice, please eat your lunch.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Fancy Figures (#2.10)" (1958)
[last lines]
Della Street: That's your trouble, Paul. You're a cynic. You keep looking for things that just aren't there.
Paul Drake: Is that what you call a cynic?
Della Street: Mm-hm.
Perry Mason: Of course, when a man looks for things that aren't there and finds them... then we call him a detective. Here.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Singular Double (#4.4)" (1960)
[Paul enters Perry's office and starts to talk about vacation plans before Perry interrupts to give Paul a lot of tasks to accomplish]
Perry Mason: Paul, what was all this about a vacation?
Paul Drake: Did I say that?
Perry Mason: You did.
Paul Drake: I must have been dreaming.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Gilded Lily (#1.34)" (1958)
[last lines]
Lt. Tragg: All right, Mr., uh...
Perry Mason: Come on, Tragg. I think Mr. Brent's got the situation well in hand.
Lt. Tragg: Let's wait in the car.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Startled Stallion (#3.5)" (1959)
[last lines]
Jo Ann Blanchard: And for all of you, for Saturday.
Paul Drake: Uh... what's for Saturday?
Perry Mason: Three box seats for the big race. From Spindrift.
Paul Drake: Better he should tell us if he's gonna win.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Prankish Professor (#6.15)" (1963)
Della Street: I could learn to hate him. Perry, why did you agree to involve yourself with someone as disagreeable as that man?
Perry Mason: Della... that's a very good question.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Capering Camera (#7.15)" (1964)
Hamilton Burger: Well, Perry, what's the occasion? To the best of my knowledge there's nothing pending between us.
Perry Mason: No.
Hamilton Burger: Social call?
Perry Mason: I don't know exactly what kind of a call it is, Hamilton.
Hamilton Burger: Well, maybe between us we can figure it out. Sit down.
Perry Mason: I am... in a very curious predicament.
Hamilton Burger: That's a switch... traffic ticket?
Perry Mason: No, a problem of ethics. If I tell you about it, would you be willing to regard it as privileged, so to speak - not to be acted upon?
Hamilton Burger: Why, Perry, you know as district attorney I can't buy a pig in a poke like that.
Perry Mason: All right, I'll present it hypothetically instead, so you won't have to promise anything - agreed?
Hamilton Burger: Well, I don't know how the taxpayers will react to my spending time listening to hypothetical problems, but - go ahead.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Mystified Miner (#5.21)" (1962)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Now, how could he be a good businessman? He didn't even believe his own secretary.
Amelia Corning: Hallelujah, dear. We'll fire him.
Perry Mason: Hallelujah.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Lonely Eloper (#5.30)" (1962)
Perry Mason: [answers the phone] Hello. Oh, Paul. How's the party?
Paul Drake: It died. So did the hostess.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Barefaced Witness (#4.20)" (1961)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: [referring to her ancient automobile] Miss Sarah, just how old is that machine?
Miss Sarah McKay: Twenty-two years. But I think it's time to trade it in for a new model. Don't you?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Envious Editor (#4.13)" (1961)
[last lines]
Paul Drake: [suddenly remembering] *Oh, these photographs.* Well, they don't mean anything anymore.
Perry Mason: This all of them?
Paul Drake: Mm-hm. Negatives, too.
Perry Mason: [as he throws them in the waste basket] That's that.
Paul Drake: You realize, of course, that that represents hours of work. I had to go through all the photos in Rudi Tripp's file.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Nervous Accomplice (#1.3)" (1957)
Perry Mason: If you pick someone to lie to, Mrs. Granger, never choose your doctor or your lawyer. In both cases it could be fatal.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Terrified Typist (#1.38)" (1958)
[first lines]
Perry Mason: Oh, Barney, when you get a chance, would you take this watch up to Crawford Jewelry for me?
Barney - Elevator Operator: Right away, Mr. Mason.
Perry Mason: Thank you.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Green-Eyed Sister (#1.21)" (1958)
[last lines]
[as Perry is about to leave to catch a much delayed plane to London, Della brings Harriet in to see him]
Harriet Bain: I wanted to say thank you, personally Mr. Mason, before I left town.
Perry Mason: You going away?
Della Street: Yes. Harriet's taking a vacation in Europe.
Harriet Bain: And my plane leaves in an hour.
Paul Drake: Taking the polar route to London, by any chance?
Harriet Bain: Why, yes. Della managed to get me a seat on the plane.
Perry Mason: [chuckles] What a remarkable coincidence. Well, Miss Machiavelli?
Della Street: Well, with this new hairdo and new outfit, a girl needs an escort. I just couldn't think of a better one for the trip.
Perry Mason: [to Paul] After you.
Perry Mason: [to Harriet and Della, offering his arms] Shall we?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Elusive Element (#6.24)" (1963)
Perry Mason: Two lives are at stake, Mr. Burger - I am in no hurry to short-cut the fullest measure of justice for their protection.
Hamilton Burger: Neither am I, Mr. Mason - I resent your implication that I am.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Duplicate Daughter (#4.26)" (1961)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: It's a very thorny legal problem.
Glamis Barlow: Well, what can we do about it?
Perry Mason: Well, simple. Just hire a good lawyer.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Foot-Loose Doll (#2.15)" (1959)
Senator Baylor: Mason, I'll give you ten-thousand dollars to represent me.
Perry Mason: I've already accepted a fee from Miss Crest.
Senator Baylor: How much did she give you?
Perry Mason: Thirty-eight cents.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Absent Artist (#5.23)" (1962)
[after Pete has punched Gabe and they have been separated from fighting]
Della Street: Correct me if I'm wrong, Perry, but I think you could have stopped Pete from throwing that first punch.
Perry Mason: As the man said, he was entitled to one.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Deadly Double (#1.24)" (1958)
Lt. Tragg: Mason, sometimes I wonder which side of the law you're on.
Perry Mason: That's easy, Tragg. My client's side.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Tragic Trophy (#8.9)" (1964)
Perry Mason: We get out of life what we deserve - no better, no worse.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Vagabond Vixen (#1.9)" (1957)
[last lines]
Paul Drake: Any other message for the gentlemen of the press?
Perry Mason: You might tell them if they're ever tempted to pick up a lady on the highway, don't. If she's no lady, it could be murder.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Promoter's Pillbox (#5.29)" (1962)
Miriam Waters: Look, Mr. Mason - I was only his secretary - not his conscience. I did what I was told to do - period.
Perry Mason: Out of loyalty or love, Miss Waters?
Miriam Waters: What difference does that make? He's dead, isn't he? Sure, I suppose he was robbing everybody blind. Maybe he never intended to make "Mr. Nobody." And maybe he was trying to promote himself into some overseas production unit, but so what? That's the way the business is - and that's the way a lot of the people in it are. Charlie was no better than many; I admit that. But he was no worse than most, either.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Shattered Dream (#2.12)" (1959)
Perry Mason: Oh, uh, will you be long?
Irene Bedford: Two and a half minutes. Time me.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Black-Eyed Blonde (#1.37)" (1958)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Well, let's put it this way, Della. Mr. Bartlett has a new lease on life, Bobby has a home and all the love he'll ever need. Can you give me one good reason we should destroy all that?
Della Street: I can't even give you a bad one.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Angry Dead Man (#4.18)" (1961)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: [handwriting expert] Well, it's all as clear as crystal to me.
Perry Mason: What is?
Prof. Laiken: [referring to Della's handwriting] In this girl's handwriting, I can see loyalty, perseverance, and hunger. Especially hunger. And your client doesn't look too well fed, either. And if you could read my writing, you'd see that I'm starved, also. And, from your handwriting, I can tell that you're a very rich man who can afford the finest restaurant in town.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Wary Wildcatter (#3.16)" (1960)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: You know, I'm thinking of a large investment, too, Della.
[pause]
Perry Mason: How about a big steak dinner?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Bluffing Blast (#6.14)" (1963)
Perry Mason: And, um, how soon do you want all the answers? Will an hour do?
Paul Drake: Oh, no rush. Take two hours.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Blushing Pearls (#3.4)" (1959)
[last lines]
Paul Drake: You know, Perry, I'm surprised they haven't come for you.
Perry Mason: Who?
Paul Drake: Police. I was sure Burger would have done something about that arson business.
Della Street: Oh, he did do something. This arrived in the morning mail.
Perry Mason: [Perry opens the letter and reads the contents] Heh!
Paul Drake: What is it?
Perry Mason: A citation for burning trash without a permit.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Crying Comedian (#5.5)" (1961)
Perry Mason: Almost anyone is capable of a crime under certain circumstances.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Negligent Nymph (#1.12)" (1957)
Perry Mason: What's the trouble, Officer?
Patrolman: Oh, Mr. Mason. We're setting up a roadblock. Been some trouble up on the Alder estate. We're looking for a young lady. Attractive, blond hair, five feet six, about 24.
Paul Drake: With a description like that, I wouldn't mind meeting her myself.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Singing Skirt (#3.18)" (1960)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: I like everybody to be happy.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Pathetic Patient (#5.7)" (1961)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: A famous man once said, "The oldest and best-known evil is even more supportable and tempting than one that's new and untried."
Paul Drake: That figures. I always kind of liked the old temptations best.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Midnight Howler (#9.16)" (1966)
Perry Mason: [to Lt. Drumm] Did they get smart and transfer you from Homicide to Traffic?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Capricious Corpse (#6.2)" (1962)
[last lines]
Paul Drake: By the way, what do you suppose will happen to Nicholas and Joane?
Perry Mason: Probation, most likely, since their motives were good, even though their actions were more than slightly illegal.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Prodigal Parent (#1.36)" (1958)
[last lines]
Paul Drake: She is a regular Miss Know-It-All. Is there anything you don't know?
Della Street: Yes. Which one of you handsome gentlemen is going to take me to lunch.
Perry Mason: Oh, may I?
Della Street: Thank you.
Paul Drake: Yeah, what about me?
Perry Mason: Sorry, you're not my type. You'll have to buy your own lunch.
[pause]
Perry Mason: Come on.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Lost Last Act (#2.21)" (1959)
Perry Mason: Why didn't you like Royce, Mr. West?
Jim West: The theater is something very special to me, Mr. Mason. It's been my family, my home; everything I've ever wanted. When I'm inside a theater, I'm in a church. When I see a great play, I hear angels singing. When I see great performances, I'm walking the streets of Heaven. Those streets are very clean and beautiful, Mr. Mason. They should be kept that way.
Perry Mason: I repeat - why didn't you like Ernest Royce?
Jim West: He was a litterbug.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Watery Witness (#3.2)" (1959)
[last lines]
Della Street: Well, I hadn't thought so, but maybe we do know the rest.
[Paul and Perry turn to see that Della is referring to the Clark's being affectionate in a rowboat on the lake]
Perry Mason: At least we know the world keeps turning. Hm?


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Left-Handed Liar (#5.11)" (1961)
[last lines]
[Paul sits on the 'electric camel' exercise equipment]
Paul Drake: Hey, uh, how do you suppose you start this thing?
Della Street: I'm ambidextrous. Allow me.
Paul Drake: Hey... Hey, Della, turn it off! Perr... Somebody turn this thing off!
Perry Mason: Shall we?
Paul Drake: [as Perry and the others are leaving] Help! Della, Perry, come back!
[to himself]
Paul Drake: Ah, well, Paint, old sport, I guess it's you and me. Et tu.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Tarnished Trademark (#5.18)" (1962)
[last lines]
Della Street: Ah. Such a pity.
Perry Mason: Hm?
Della Street: Oh, that a man like that should have to wait all those years to get married. Don't you agree?
Perry Mason: You've been my legal secretary long enough to know that that's a leading question.
[referring to luggage]
Perry Mason: Here. You take that one.
Della Street: Uh...


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Double-Entry Mind (#6.4)" (1962)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Oh, he's writing a book about the perfect embezzlement.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the 12th Wildcat (#9.8)" (1965)
Perry Mason: A toast to the things for which there are no substitutes: good friends... happy days... and... victory.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Violent Village (#3.11)" (1960)
[last lines]
Sheriff Eugene Norris: Oh, I have a message for you from Ransome, the Special Prosecutor.
Perry Mason: [chuckles] All he needs is to view his career with a little patience.
Sheriff Eugene Norris: I think he's getting it, along with a sense of humor. Says he has one more objection to make. To the Attorney General, next time he's appointed to run up against you.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Golden Fraud (#3.7)" (1959)
[last lines]
Frances Vanaman: Thank you, Mr. Mason. Your belief in Richard never wavered, did it?
Perry Mason: No more than yours, Mrs. Vanaman.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Golden Oranges (#6.20)" (1963)
Hamilton Burger: Well, Perry... is business really as bad as that? I mean, chickens and rats and dogs and cats? Or did I detect an undercurrent here of something else?
Perry Mason: There are always undercurrents where large sums of money are involved, Hamilton. In this case, let's just hope that nobody gets drowned.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Buried Clock (#2.6)" (1958)
Perry Mason: You know cross-examination is like prospecting. You see something that looks promising, you work a vein for all it's worth. If you're lucky- you may hit a bonanza.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Desperate Daughter (#1.27)" (1958)
[last lines]
Della Street: After all, every woman's entitled to at least one secret.
Perry Mason: [chuckles] What's yours?
Della Street: You'll never know.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Crimson Kiss (#1.8)" (1957)
Lt. Tragg: How did you get into the building?
Perry Mason: Dang the bell, waited for an answering Buzz.
Lt. Tragg: Well, you got no Buzz out of him. He's been dead since 9 or 10 o'clock.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Shoplifter's Shoe (#6.13)" (1963)
[last lines]
Paul Drake: Give me your car keys.
[Virginia hands over her keys]
Paul Drake: Della, put 'em in an envelope.
Perry Mason: Yep. The party's on us. Let's go, Aunt Sarah.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Screaming Woman (#1.30)" (1958)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Well, I wanted to help him, Tragg. I tried to point out that it was irrelevant, incompetent and immaterial. You might tell him that.
Lt. Tragg: Yes, I already have. That's how this got broken.
[dumps the broken contents from an envelope onto Perry's desk]
Lt. Tragg: You know, uh, he, uh, never should get mad. Why, he missed me by at least two-feet.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Flighty Father (#3.26)" (1960)
[last lines]
Trudy Holbrook: Anyway, everybody can't be perfect like Mr. Mason is.
Jay Holbrook #1: Goodbye, sir, and thank you.
[to Della]
Jay Holbrook #1: Goodbye.
Della Street: Goodbye.
[to Perry]
Della Street: Perfect, Hm?
Perry Mason: That's what I keep telling you.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Dubious Bridegroom (#2.29)" (1959)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: Oh, but I had an ulterior purpose in trying to find her.
Della Street: Oh?
Perry Mason: I was intrigued when Mr. Garvin said there was another Della Street. I thought you were the only one in the world.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Crying Cherub (#3.20)" (1960)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: No, my fee really came from David Lambert. Just arrived. A portrait of me. It's an abstract of course, but I think the likeness is excellent.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Fatal Fortune (#9.2)" (1965)
Max Armstead: Look, will you do me a favor? - will you keep your sermons? I don't need a preacher, I need a lawyer - that - that's what I'm paying you for!
Perry Mason: You pay for advice - it's time you learned to take some.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Rolling Bones (#1.39)" (1958)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: [about Hamilton Burger] How did he like the performance?
Lt. Tragg: [sarcastically] Loved it. But just make sure that you don't invite him the next time you're doing a benefit.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Borrowed Brunette (#2.13)" (1959)
[last lines]
Perry Mason: No, there's one little bit of unfinished business.
Paul Drake: Hm. What?
Perry Mason: Helen Reynolds' boyfriend. Where is he?
Paul Drake: Ah, we stopped looking for him, Perry.
Perry Mason: Your stopped looking for him? Why?
Paul Drake: Well, uh, the judge had already dismissed the case.
Perry Mason: Mm-hm.
Paul Drake: You'd already uncovered the murderer.
Perry Mason: Mm-hm.
Paul Drake: Besides... we couldn't find him.
Perry Mason: Mm-hm.


"Perry Mason: The Case of the Baffling Bug (#9.13)" (1965)
Perry Mason: I would like your permission to have the light dimmed so we can project some film.
Judge: Any objections Mr. Burger
Hamilton Burger: Your honor I realize that Mr.Mason has gone to infinite pains to present this little dramatic interlude for us, although I doubt it will serve any useful purpose. I would hate to deprive defense counsel an opportunity ti get a head line in the evening's paper.
Perry Mason: The district attorney generosity is exceeded only by his wit.