Sabrina Spellman
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Quotes for
Sabrina Spellman (Character)
from "Sabrina, the Teenage Witch" (1996)

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"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Five Easy Pieces of Libby (#2.14)" (1998)
Zelda Spellman: I've done it! I'm on the verge of one of the biggest scientific breakthroughs in the history of mankind.
Salem Saberhagen: How incredible!
[to Sabrina]
Salem Saberhagen: You gonna finish that toast?
Zelda Spellman: You know that formula I've been working on? I found the key ingredient.
Sabrina Spellman: Liquorice?
Zelda Spellman: Oh, don't be silly, Sabrina, liquorice won't cure allergies. It's ostrich saliva.
Hilda Spellman: [to Sabrina] The hard part is getting them to drool. Give me that.
[Reaches for Zelda's beaker, which smashes on the floor; the entire room is suddenly spotless]
Sabrina Spellman: Wow! One drop of that and the whole kitchen is spotlessly clean!
Hilda Spellman: I'll say! The walls, the table, the counters...
Sabrina Spellman: Salem!
Salem Saberhagen: [Salem has turned completely white] I'm blonde! My IQ just dropped twenty points.
Zelda Spellman: [Pointing at Sabrina, Hilda and herself] Blonde, blonde, blonde.
[Pointing at Salem]
Zelda Spellman: Dead.

Mrs. Quick: I got a postcard from Valerie, she's really enjoying her trip to D.C.
[Reading postcard]
Mrs. Quick: Hi, everyone! I've visited the Vietnam Memorial, the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, and JFK's grave. This place is really fun!
Libby Chessler: Sounds like a big loser town to me.
Mrs. Quick: I have an important announcement to make: the school will be entering a float in the town's Democracy Daze celebration.
Harvey Kinkle: [to Sabrina] Great. I get to hear my Dad's Grenada story again.
Mrs. Quick: Now who would like to be in charge of putting the float together?
[Sabrina and Libby both raise their hands]
Mrs. Quick: Oh, my.
[Looks at Valerie's postcard from Washington]
Mrs. Quick: Well, I think this would be the perfect opportunity for the two of you to embody our democracy's two party system and work together.
Sabrina Spellman: What?

Libby Chessler: [Sabrina, Libby and other students are working on the float] The school guidelines state that the float is required to have flowers. The rest of the design is up to me.
Sabrina Spellman: Don't you mean "us"?
Libby Chessler: Well, I'll be using "me" as shorthand for "us". I've already got the floral design in my head...
Sabrina Spellman: Oh! Well I'm glad your butt is working. Oh, I'll be using "butt" as shorthand for your head.

Sabrina Spellman: [Harvey appears through a floor-level door in the side of the float] Argh! Harvey? What are you doing under there?
Harvey Kinkle: Soupin' up the engine. This baby'll be able to go ninety miles an hour.
Sabrina Spellman: But we're behind the World War Two veterans. Haven't they suffered enough?

Sabrina Spellman: [the Quizmaster's spell has made it impossible for Sabrina to be apart from Libby] Where are you going?
Libby Chessler: To cheerleading practice?
[Raises pom-poms]
Libby Chessler: Ready? Get lost!
Sabrina Spellman: Hey, you know that would make a really good story for the school paper? A day in the life of a cheerleader!
Libby Chessler: But, you despise cheerleaders. And cheerleaders despise you.
Sabrina Spellman: You're afraid I'll write a puff piece, aren't you?
[Libby walks away, and Sabrina is pulled along behind her]
Sabrina Spellman: Well, look, don't run!

Libby Chessler: Why have you decided to become my shadow all of a sudden?
Sabrina Spellman: Well, I figured since we're gonna be working together, you know, maybe we could find a common ground.
Libby Chessler: Any ground I found with you would, indeed, be common.
Sabrina Spellman: [Chuckles nervously] You know, wait, I'm just trying to get to know you better.
Libby Chessler: Well, I'm popular, confident, non-freakish. Everything you're not. And if you insist on traipsing after me, could you at least wear a higher quality perfume?
[Walks off]
Sabrina Spellman: Okay, enough. Nothing is worth this. I don't care what happens to me.
[Forces herself away from Libby, breaking the spell; there is an explosion]
Sabrina Spellman: Libby! Oh, no!
[Picks up box]
Sabrina Spellman: I turned her into a puzzle!
[Reading box]
Sabrina Spellman: For ages three and up?

Zelda Spellman: [Sabrina has shown her aunts the Libby puzzle] Sabrina, did you blow up a mortal?
Sabrina Spellman: She started it!

Zelda Spellman: Is that all there is?
Sabrina Spellman: [Some pieces of Libby are missing] Box is empty, how can we be missing pieces?
Quizmaster Albert: Didn't you read the fine print?
[Hands the box over to Sabrina]
Sabrina Spellman: [Reading box] Some pieces not included in box? What a rip-off!
Quizmaster Albert: I guess you didn't see this either.
[Gives Sabrina an hourglass]
Quizmaster Albert: Now if you don't find the missing pieces and put them in before the sand runs out, Libby will be a puzzle forever.
Sabrina Spellman: What?
Hilda Spellman: Boy! In the final analysis, the Libby puzzle isn't much fun, is it?

Sabrina Spellman: [Sabrina and the Quizmaster are searching the float for pieces of the Libby puzzle; Harvey appears from beneath the float] Argh! Harvey! Have you met my friend...
Quizmaster Albert: Invisible!
Sabrina Spellman: My friend Suzie? Remind me to introduce you sometime! By the way, you didn't happen to see any jigsaw puzzle pieces under there, did you?
Harvey Kinkle: No, but to tell you the truth, I was taking a nap. There's something really soothing about being under an engine. But I don't know what it is.
Quizmaster Albert: The fumes?
Sabrina Spellman: Sssshhhhh - sure gotta go!
[Runs off, giggling]

Mrs. Chessler: [On the phone] I don't care. I don't want Marge in my Bridge club. She's a kook.
[Doorbell rings]
Mrs. Chessler: Have you seen what she calls furniture? Ew!
[Doorbell rings again]
Mrs. Chessler: Hold on.
[Opens front door]
Sabrina Spellman: [Sabrina and Quizmaster are at the door; he is invisible to Mrs. Chessler] Mrs. Chessler?
Mrs. Chessler: Yes.
Sabrina Spellman: Hi, I'm Sabrina. I'm a... friend of Libby's? And, uh, I left a book here that I came to pick up that time when... you... weren't here.
Mrs. Chessler: Mmhm, mmhm!
[Waves her in impatiently, continues talking on the phone]
Mrs. Chessler: I don't care. I don't want Marge in my house. You're not exactly on my A-list either. Kook.
Sabrina Spellman: I can see where Libby gets her meanness from.
Quizmaster Albert: Exactly. And I believe that would be another piece to the puzzle.
[Points at puzzle piece which has appeared, stuck on Mrs. Chessler's back]
Mrs. Chessler: [Still on the phone] Are you gonna cry? Because I'll hang up.
Sabrina Spellman: [Sabrina pulls puzzle piece off Mrs. Chessler's back, she turns round] Oh, I was just reminding you that we're... I'm still here. I'll just go get that book now.

Mrs. Chessler: [Libby's bedroom is a mess because of Sabrina and Quizmaster's frantic search]
[From outside the bedroom door, knocking]
Mrs. Chessler: Is everything okay?
Sabrina Spellman: Oh, no, the room.
[Quizmaster snaps his fingers and the room is instantaneously tidy]
Mrs. Chessler: [Enters the room] Did you find that book?
Sabrina Spellman: Just now.
[Quizmaster zaps a book into Sabrina's hands]
Sabrina Spellman: And here it is!
[Chuckles]
Mrs. Chessler: Good! Do you wanna stay and see Libby? You can wait in the garage.
Quizmaster Albert: Don't do it, she'll turn on the car.

Sabrina Spellman: [Sabrina thinks the puzzle is complete] Oh, no, there's still a piece missing!
[Looks at the hourglass]
Sabrina Spellman: And time just ran out!
Quizmaster Albert: Don't worry. That piece doesn't exist yet. It's Libby's compassion for others. And you have to gradually fill that space by showing compassion for Libby, even when she doesn't show it for you. In other words, learn to work together?
Sabrina Spellman: I get it.
Quizmaster Albert: Mmhm.
Sabrina Spellman: And by the way, could this lesson be any more heavy handed?
Quizmaster Albert: Well, I could've been behind a pulpit! See ya.
[Disappears; the Libby puzzles turns into Libby herself]
Libby Chessler: What... is going on? What am I doing here?
Sabrina Spellman: Oh, you just came by to see if I needed a ride. I don't.
Libby Chessler: I would not! I'm getting out of here.
Sabrina Spellman: Uh, wait, Libby. Are you okay?
Libby Chessler: I'm fine. Once again, weirdness reigns whenever Sa-freakna's around.
[Leaves]
Sabrina Spellman: Oh, yeah. Sympathy for Libby. Piece of cake!

Sabrina Spellman: [Trying to be nice] You know, Libby, I have to admit, your side of the float is looking pretty good.
Libby Chessler: I'm glad you're willing to state the obvious.
Sabrina Spellman: Oh, well, I... I'm going to accept that as a compliment.
Libby Chessler: Then you could use a dictionary!

Sabrina Spellman: [Still trying to be nice] Libby, um, I could use some help with my crêpe paper.
Libby Chessler: I have a box of matches?
Sabrina Spellman: [Knowing about Libby's love for her Grandmother] But it's just that I wanted to get done this weekend, so I could, uh, visit my Grandma.
Libby Chessler: Oh.
[pauses]
Libby Chessler: Well. I would hate for part of the float to look like you did it.
[Rolls eyes]
Libby Chessler: Okay, I'll help.
Sabrina Spellman: Thanks! You know, Libby, sometimes you're a real puzzle.
Libby Chessler: No talking!

Zelda Spellman: Sabrina, I don't think I told you this, but, in my opinion, your Democracy Daze float was the best.
Sabrina Spellman: Thanks! It did turn out great.
Zelda Spellman: It's going to stand as a monument to your creative talent and democratic spirit.
Sabrina Spellman: Not really. When we got back to the school, the engine Harvey'd been working on blew up, and the whole thing burned to the ground.
Hilda Spellman: Ever reminding us that democracy is a fragile thing.


"Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch: Ice Giant for Tea (#1.3)" (2013)
Sabrina Spellman: Hey, high five!
Londa: High who?
Zanda: Our names are Londa and Zanda, not Five.
Sabrina Spellman: No, high hive is the thing humans do. Although I don't really know why.

Amy: Um, I don't play catch. I'm an actress.
Sabrina Spellman: So, act like your playing catch.

Sabrina Spellman: How's that for a dramatic entrance?

Sabrina Spellman: Hope that thing came with a warranty.

Sabrina Spellman: I know, I'm just as confused as you are.

Sabrina Spellman: Ice giants like tea and crumpets. I'll have to remember that in case it's ever on a test.

Sabrina Spellman: Yep, that's happening.


"Sabrina's Secret Life: Baby Makes Three (#1.18)" (2004)
Maritza: Looks like you're buying half the store.
Sabrina: It's all for the baby.
Maritza: That little baby needs all that?
Sabrina: Well, from our recent experience, it's obvious we need: baby powder, diapers, baby lotion, diapers, baby wipes, diapers.

Sabrina: I don't know if there is a diaper spell.
Salem: I've never even seen a diaper.

Sabrina: [Baby cries non-stop] I think we need to burp the baby.
Maritza: How do you do that?
Sabrina: I don't know, I guess you hold her and pat her on the back.
[Martiza pats the baby]
Sabrina: Gently!
[the baby throws up all over Salem]
Sabrina: Eww, I think she spit up.
Salem: [Licks it up] Not bad.

Sabrina: Salem, I need your help cleaning up. It's a mess.
Maritza: Sure, leave me with the baby while you go off talking to your stupid cat.

Sabrina: [Carrying an armful of toilet paper] We seem to be all out of diapers. Let's clean her up and buy some at the little store on the corner.

Maritza: What about the party?
Sabrina: It will have to wait. We have to take care of this baby.
Maritza: Okay...
[removes diaper]
Sabrina, Maritza: Eww!
Sabrina: Nasty! And I thought the leaking was bad.


"Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch: Return of the Werewolf (#1.9)" (2013)
Jim: Where are they heading?
Sabrina Spellman: Grunion watching.
Jim: What's a grunion?
Sabrina Spellman: I have no idea, but they sure are eager to see them.

Sabrina Spellman: Heel Harvey!

Sabrina Spellman: Okay... so he doesn't understand quiet.

Veralupa: You need me to what now?
Sabrina Spellman: Come help me take care of my friend Harvey. Who is my friend Harvey the Werewolf right now.
Veralupa: You know there's no cure for that right? And why me?
Sabrina Spellman: Your half werewolf so I figure you know at least know half of what a werewolf might like.
Veralupa: You mean like cause destruction and terrorizing humans?
Sabrina Spellman: I was hoping there's another half that's maybe a little more cuddly.

Sabrina Spellman: Okay, so this night just got a whole lot more complicated.


"Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch: Chariots of Fear (#1.24)" (2014)
Shinji: The journey is today? With her?
Sabrina Spellman: Yeah, and your mom's not letting us get out of it. So let's get this thing started so I can get back to biology.
Shinji: What is biology?
Sabrina Spellman: I'm not really sure. Still early in the semester.

Sabrina Spellman: [after knocking out a troll] Okay, let's take a few of those 10,000 steps right now really fast.
Shinji: I have to agree!

Sabrina Spellman: Oh, so it's every selfish warlock for himself now?

Sabrina Spellman: Are you trying to strangle me?
Shinji: No, I'm trying to stay alive.

Sabrina Spellman: Okay, I heard that. And now I'm seeing it.


"Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch: Super-Brina (#1.18)" (2014)
Harvey Kinkle: I know what you are.
Sabrina Spellman: You know?
Harvey Kinkle: Sabrina, you are a teenage...
Sabrina Spellman: Yeah.
Harvey Kinkle: Superhero!
Sabrina Spellman: Wait, what?

Harvey Kinkle: I wonder what your super name should be? Uber Teen? Mega Blondie?
Sabrina Spellman: It's going to be Sabrina because that's all that I am. Regular old high school Sabrina.
Harvey Kinkle: No. Not with your powers. With awesome cool abilities comes cool and awesome responsible... ness.
Sabrina Spellman: With what and who and huh?

Sabrina Spellman: I kinda don't know my broom's strength.

Enchantra: Sabrina, the humans are not to know what we can do or that witches even excist. If that information ever got into the wrong hands...
Sabrina Spellman: I know, I know. But, Harvey, that's the human who saw me, he's not going to tell anybody because of a superhero code of secret identities or something. I can lend you the comic books he gave me. If you wanna read about it.
Enchantra: I do not.
Sabrina Spellman: Yeah, I'd rather wait for the movie too.


"Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch: Scream It with Flowers (#1.2)" (2013)
Ambrose: Werewolf rose...
Sabrina Spellman: Bit Shinji's nose.

Sabrina Spellman: Mess with the half werewolf and your gonna get bit!

Veralupa: You sneaky troll! You made yourself look like Sabrina! But you still smell troll!
Sabrina Spellman: No it's me. My aunts teleported you to human world. And that troll smell is tuna surprise.

Veralupa: Huh, You have trolls in your world?
Sabrina Spellman: Miss Titan's not a troll. She's a killer robot.


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Pilot (#1.1)" (1996)
Sabrina: So what are you saying? That I'm not who I think I am? You're not who I think you are? And my father lives in a book?
Hilda: [scoffs] Finally, she gets it!

Jill: [both lean over a dead frog] Let's name him. Tad. Tad Pole.
Sabrina: Okay.
[looks down for a moment]
Sabrina: Hey, thanks for asking me to be your lab partner.
Jill: I know what it's like, I was the new kid last year.
Sabrina: So, can I ask you a question? Do you ever feel like you don't fit in?
Jill: Only all the time, but I don't want to fit in. I researched it, and awkward people tend to be much more successful later in life. I look at Libby, I see tragedy.

Mr. Eugene Pool: Oh! Look, girls, you... you bored your frog to death!
[hands Sabrina the knife]
Mr. Eugene Pool: Well, slice and dice!
[walks away]
Sabrina: [sighs] I hate doing this. If only there was some way I could bring these frogs back to life. I think his heart is somewhere around... here!
[Magic springs from her pointing finger, the frog comes back to life, starts croaking and moving]
Sabrina: Look! Tad's alive! How'd that happen?
Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Ha! It's Frankenfrog! Hey!
[Frog jumps away]
Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: [Sabrina squeals and goes after the frog]
Jennifer 'Jenny' Kelley: Mr Pool! Ours is still kicking!
[Still squealing, Sabrina catches the frog]
Mr. Eugene Pool: [Chuckles] Mike from Cadaver Shack's gonna here from me!

Libby Chessler: [Sabrina enters the bathroom, Libby, at the mirror, turns round to face her] May we help you?
Sabrina: I just wanted to wash my hands. You know, frog juice.
Libby Chessler: Hmm.
[makes room]
Libby Chessler: You know... if you stink, I'm not sure it's fair to blame the frog.
Sabrina: Well, at least I don't splash on aftershave to remind me of some boy who dumped me last summer.
Libby Chessler: How'd you know that?
Sabrina: [wonders herself, turns] I... I... I don't know, my incredible sense of smell told me?
[wonders]
Libby Chessler: Huh. Yeah, right.
Sabrina: Well, I better get going. Smell ya later!
Libby Chessler: Wait... Don't come in here again. From now on, you use the freaks' bathroom.
[turns to face mirror again]
Libby Chessler: [Sabrina gestures at Libby, which enacts a spell and makes Libby's hand cover her face in lipstick]


"Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch: Dances with Werewolves (#1.1)" (2013)
Sabrina Spellman: Once again Sabrina out smarts the mama's boy.

Sabrina Spellman: Bring it.

Shinji: Careful princess, your human half is showing.
Sabrina Spellman: Yeah and your jerk half is showing.


"Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch: Home Sweet Home (#1.19)" (2014)
Sabrina Spellman: Bad bulldozer.

Amy: So what, now they're not gonna turn this place into a mall?
Sabrina Spellman: Nope. The guy that was gonna tear us down changed his mind.
Amy: Well, what about my needs? I need a place to buy clothes and jewelery and shoes. You think I just roll out of bed looking this good? Well, of course I do. But that's just because I wear designer pajamas. But I can't wear those out of the house. Although I'd still be better dressed than either of you. But a mall...
Sabrina Spellman: [as Amy continues to talk] Hey, is that the hat from the silent wizard who never said a word?
Hilda Spellman: Yes, I was just about to de-magic it.
Sabrina Spellman: Let me borrow it for a sec.
Amy: [continuing] And shoes that are better than yours. And get my nails done to be better than yours.
Sabrina Spellman: Hey, Amy, try this on.
Amy: What? Why would I wanna wear that? It doesn't go with anything I have on, and I...
[Sabrina places the wizard hat on Amy's head]
Amy: [speaks, but is alarmed not to hear her own voice]
Hilda Spellman: I really should take that hat to the back room.
Sabrina Spellman: I know. Just let me enjoy it for one more minute.

Professor Geist: Well, would you look at that. I guess there's a someone for everybody.
Sabrina Spellman: Yep. This could be the beginning of a beautiful frog-ship


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Little Big Kraft (#2.13)" (1998)
Principal Willard Kraft: Miss Spellman, why have you been following me around all morning?
Sabrina Spellman: It's... your cologne Mr. Kraft, it's so great that I want to buy some for my friend Harvey.
Principal Willard Kraft: Well, you can think about my Old Spice in detention!
Sabrina Spellman: But what's my crime?
Principal Willard Kraft: Smelling the Vice Principal!

Salem Saberhagen: [Sabrina tells Salem about her day with with a "Teenage" Mr. Kraft in charge] He played Smells like Teen Spirit with his nose?
Sabrina Spellman: Four verses!


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Sabrina, the Teenage Boy (#2.6)" (1997)
Sabrina Spellman: Hey, Libby, what are you doing here?
Libby Chessler: Jack's been in the bathroom forever. You'd think he was a girl.
Sabrina Spellman: Sorry, but I've seen Jack leave a while ago.
Libby Chessler: Sprat Split? I listened to pepper for him. Doesn't he know who I am?

Sabrina Spellman: [Sabrina walks into her bedroom dressed as "Jack"] Salem, My man!
Salem Saberhagen: [shocked] Whoa, Adolesence is not sitting well with you!
Sabrina Spellman: [picks up Perfume bottle] Gonna walk among the guys, see what makes you tick.
Salem Saberhagen: Freeze!
[Sabrina stops]
Salem Saberhagen: Don't squirt that perfume unless you wanna be a boy who gets beaten up.
Sabrina Spellman: [Puts down bottle] Man, that was close.
Salem Saberhagen: It's not enough to look like a dude, you have to start thinkin' like a dude. Picked a name yet?
Sabrina Spellman: Kirby?
Salem Saberhagen: We're back to getting beaten up here.


"Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch: Hurry Scurry (#1.12)" (2014)
Sabrina Spellman: Huh, I guess I won't be getting an "A" for doing that.

Sabrina Spellman: So, first came the chicken, than came the egg...


"Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch: Sabrina the Troll Princess (#1.14)" (2014)
Veralupa: Ha! This tangled weed and elk's bane is exactly what I need for the intricate potion I am working on. I shall call it "Toothpaste"!
Sabrina Spellman: Um, I don't wanna break your broom, but the humans already came up with that.
Veralupa: Oh. Then I shall call it "Candy"!

Sabrina Spellman: Wait, if I'm a troll princess, how come I don't look like you?
Matilda The Troll Queen: That's because... those sneaky witches used there magic to make you look pretty.
Sabrina Spellman: I'm pretty?
Matilda The Troll Queen: I'm afraid so.
Sabrina Spellman: But I don't wanna be pretty, I wanna be disgusting like you.
Matilda The Troll Queen: I will teach you our ways, and you will learn to be disgusting on the inside.
Sabrina Spellman: Yay!


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Dante's Inferno (#2.4)" (1997)
Dante: Hey, you look great.
Sabrina Spellman: Thanks. So you ready to go bowling?
Dante: Of course, there's a first for everything
Sabrina Spellman: You've never been bowling before?
Dante: Are you kidding? I never been in the mortal realm before.
Sabrina Spellman: [to herself] Oh, this can't be good.

Sabrina Spellman: We weren't supposed to like the people we went out with.
Valerie Birkhead: Oh, didn't you hear? He had a good time on his date, too.
Sabrina Spellman: He did?
Valerie Birkhead: Apparently his date's a model or something. Is that... not... too... particulary... good for me.


"Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch: What a Ride (#1.22)" (2014)
Sabrina Spellman: Whew, actually working for a living takes a lot more effort than I thought.

Shinji: I'm still stuck in your transportation device and I do not like it one bit!
Sabrina Spellman: Yeah, and I'm just thrilled about it too.


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Dream Date (#1.6)" (1996)
Libby Chessler: Hi, I'm Libby.
Chad Corey Dylan: Hi, I'm Chad.
Libby Chessler: Saw you dancing out there. You're really good.
Chad Corey Dylan: Oh, well, I'm also a daredevil and a rock musician.
Libby Chessler: Really? What instrument do you play?
Chad Corey Dylan: Well, uh, lead guitar.
Harvey Kinkle: [Scoffs] Lead guitar.
Sabrina Spellman: Hey, Harvey, don't you play an instrument?
Harvey Kinkle: Yeah! The bassoon.
Sabrina Spellman: Wow! The bassoon. I think that's really sexy.
Libby Chessler: Maybe to another bassoon.

Sabrina Spellman: [to Harvey on the phone after Zelda walks out] You were saying?
Salem Saberhagen: [snickers from inside picnic basket]
Sabrina Spellman: One more sec.
[lowers phone and walks over to basket as Salem lifts his head out]
Sabrina Spellman: Salem, are you spying on me?
Salem Saberhagen: I'm a cat. I'm curious. So kill me.
Sabrina Spellman: Out!
[opens basket and pulls Salem out]
Salem Saberhagen: Fine. I understand the delicacy of the moment.
[Sabrina drops him off outside the kitchen and he runs off, sing-song teasing]
Salem Saberhagen: Harvey and Sabrina, Harvey and Sabrina.


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: First Kiss (#1.17)" (1997)
Sabrina Spellman: [Looking at a photography book] Isn't Annie Leibovitz cool? She knows everybody.
Harvey Kinkle: Oh, look at this one! Whoopi Goldberg in a bathtub of milk! I wonder if they warmed it before she got in?
Sabrina Spellman: I'm sure. She's a star!

Sabrina Spellman: [Sabrina has to avoid kissing Harvey or he will turn into a frog] Well, that was fun. Best time two friends could have! Ha. Well, nothing left to say, so good night and Godspeed!


"Teen Angel: One Dog Night (#1.7)" (1997)
Marty DePolo: Can your boyfriend do - THIS?
[zaps up flowers]
Sabrina Spellman: No, but he's on the football team.
Marty DePolo: Oh.
[throws away flowers]


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Hilda and Zelda: the Teenage Years (#1.15)" (1997)
[Hilda and Zelda just turned themselves into teenagers]
Sabrina Spellman: Your voices don't sound teenage.
Zellary - Young Zelda: [in her own voice] We can change that.
[Zelda works her magic]
Zellary - Young Zelda: [teenage voice] Is this better?
Hillary - Young Hilda: [in a deep manly voice] And how about me? Hee Hee Hee. Oops. Wrong direction
Hillary - Young Hilda: [teenage voice] There we go.


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: She's Baaaack! (#4.20)" (2000)
Sabrina Spellman: Well, since Cousin Amanda's visiting for the weekend, I thought to get her a little present!
[conjures up a pillory, a heavy wooden structure with apertures for restraint]
Hilda Spellman: That's a thoughtful gift from all of us!
Zelda Spellman: Now, now, she's family. We should welcome her with open arms!
[conjures the punitive device away]
Zelda Spellman: And if she tries anything, we have an electric cage in the basement.


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Bundt Friday (#1.2)" (1996)
Zelda Spellman: The truth can have painful side effects.
Sabrina Spellman: Like what?
Zelda Spellman: Itching, chaffing, hurt feelings.
Sabrina Spellman: Sounds like gym class.


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: The Long and Winding Short Cut (#3.22)" (1999)
Sabrina Spellman: [trying to solve a clue] 'M' plus fire? I've got it! Mfire!
Salem Saberhagen: Right! Mfire! That makes so much sense. Let's use it in a sentence.
[sarcastically]
Salem Saberhagen: Run! Run! The house is on mfire.
Sabrina Spellman: I've got a better one. You're mfired!
Salem Saberhagen: You can't mfire me! I mquit!


"Sabrina: Secrets of a Teenage Witch: Ultra-Stitious (#1.13)" (2014)
Sabrina Spellman: Fingers and toes crossed that this will work.
Veralupa: Why would we cross our fingers and toes?
Sabrina Spellman: Oh, that's a human superstition. It's suppose to bring luck.


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Beach Blanket Bizarro (#5.17)" (2001)
[in a song walking on the beach together]
Kevin: I like to think about you / you like to think about me / we're just like birds of a feather / 'cause we're havin' so much fun together
Sabrina Spellman: I'm gonna kill my aunts for this
[sings along]
Sabrina Spellman: We have fun, it's true / in everything we say and do / but a girl really needs to know if a guy's just a friend or if he's her beau
Kevin, Sabrina Spellman: That's why I like to think about you / and you like to think about me / rain or shine / in any kind of weather / you and I are havin' fun together


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Boy Was My Face Red (#3.2)" (1998)
Salem: For one kiss I will let you know that embarrassment is cross-referenced in the magic book under Gerald Ford
Sabrina: Hey, thanks, Salem!
Salem: Wait, I didn't do that right.


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Geek Like Me (#1.9)" (1996)
Sabrina Spellman: [transformed as a nerd] Hi, Mr. Pool! Let's talk Philip K. Dick!


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Meeting Dad's Girlfriend (#1.20)" (1997)
Sabrina Spellman: So, you think you'll get married?
Edward Spellman: [at the same time as Gail] No.
Gail Kippling: [at the same time as Edward] Yes.
Gail Kippling: Did you say no?
Edward Spellman: Yes. Didn't you?
Gail Kippling: No.
Edward Spellman: You said yes?
Gail Kippling: Yes.
Edward Spellman: When I said no?
Gail Kippling: Yes.
Edward Spellman: That's not good.
Gail Kippling: No,
Edward Spellman: Are you upset?
Gail Kippling: Yes.
Edward Spellman: Would you like to talk?
Gail Kippling: No.
Edward Spellman: I think we should.
Hilda Spellman, Zelda Spellman: Yes!


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: Sabrina the Sandman (#3.23)" (1999)
Principal Willard Kraft: [Sabrina looks into Kraft's dream about counting peas] The Jolly Green Giant is a cruel taskmaster!
Sabrina Spellman: Mr. Kraft is a deeply disturbed man. Cool!


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: The Equalizer (#2.17)" (1998)
Hilda: Oh, by the way, Zelda and I are chaperoning the school dance Friday.
Sabrina: What? Why don't you just hang a big "Nerd Girl" sign around my neck?
Hilda: Okay.
[She points and Sabrina gets her wish]
Sabrina: Nobody likes a house where you can't speak figuratively.


"Sabrina, the Teenage Witch: The Big Sleep (#3.19)" (1999)
Principal Willard Kraft: Sabrina, if you do not put together a new team for out academic bowl, you will see my ugly side.
Sabrina: You mean it gets uglier?