Sgt. Major Patrick Harper
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Quotes for
Sgt. Major Patrick Harper (Character)
from Sharpe's Rifles (1993) (TV)

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Sharpe's Honour (1994) (TV)
La Marquesa: It's bloody freezing!
Patrick Harper: Must be the weather, maam.

[after Sharpe is believed to be hanged]
Capt. Peter D'Alembord: Damn waste, Harper.
Patrick Harper: It was damn murder, sir.

Patrick Harper: Can I ask you where we're going, sir?
Nairn: Over the hills, sergeant, and far away.
Patrick Harper: Right. Which hills and how far?

Nairn: So you believe in ghosts, do you sergeant?
Patrick Harper: I believe in God the Father, God the Son and the sidhe ridin' the wind.

La Marquesa: You saved my life.
Richard Sharpe: You tried to end mine.
La Marquesa: I've never met you.
Richard Sharpe: Well, do you hear that, Pat? She's never met me.
Patrick Harper: You're bleeding, sir. Don't move.
Richard Sharpe: What about my shameful suggestions?
La Marquesa: What?
Richard Sharpe: Oh, she's denying me now, Pat. After all we've been through.
Patrick Harper: I hear her, sir.
Richard Sharpe: You think she'd remember the man who got down on his knees, drunk mind you, and crawled on her floor begging Her Ladyship to sleep with her. Bugger!
Patrick Harper: I'd remember it.
Richard Sharpe: Aye! So would I. The man lost his honour because of the lady's lies. Stripped of his rank... hung on a rope.
La Marquesa: Who are you?
Richard Sharpe: You know who I am. My name is Sharpe.

Sharpe: Drunk again, Harper?
Harper: Oh, me too, sir.

Sharpe: Bloody French on one side, partisans on the other... and we're stuck here with the woman who had me hung.
Harper: God does work in mysterious ways.

Nairn: He may already be dead.
Harper: You tried that one before, sir.

Nairn: Did he interrogate her
[referring to the Marquesa]
Nairn: ?
Patrick Harper: He was at her all night.

Harper: [discussing Sharpe's depression] He needs a good battle.
Ramona: He needs a good woman.
Harper: He had one, but he lost her. He went and lost her, so he did.

Rifleman Cooper: Sarge? Where are we off to, Sarge?
Patrick Harper: We're going to join up with a man called Sharpe, lads.
Rifleman Perkins: You mean we're all gonna die?

Patrick Harper: You know the army boys, they couldn't hang a curtain!

Patrick Harper: You know the army boys, they couldn't hang a curtian!


Sharpe's Challenge (2006) (TV)
Richard Sharpe: I thought you were dead Pat
Patrick Harper: I can't be watching your arse if I'm dead now, can I?

Patrick Harper: [points his volley gun at Bickerstaff] Say hello to Mr Nock
[pulls trigger]

Patrick Harper: [enemy cavalry have captured him and Sharpe in their land] It's about time!

Richard Sharpe: Next time I give an order, you bloody jump to. Understand?
Sgt Shadrach Bickerstaff: [groans incomprehensively;.when Sharpe walks away, he pulls a knife from his boot and charges after Sharpe]
Patrick Harper: [notices the ambush] Richard!
Richard Sharpe: [Sharpe turns around and beats him to the ground] Come at me with a knife will ya? You little gutless bastard!
[is pulled off the sergeant by Harper]
Richard Sharpe: Had enough Shadragh?

Patrick Harper: Come on now lads... three to one? That's not fair odds.
Richard Sharpe: They don't want fair odds, Pat.

General Sir Henry Simmerson: For a horse dealer, Mr. Harper, you seem remarkably well informed!
Patrick Harper: Well sir you see, a horse dealer picks up more round and about, than just shit on his boots, sir.

Richard Sharpe: What do you reckon then, Pat? This Khande Rao can be taken?
Patrick Harper: Well he has a reputation of being a real monster.
Mohan Singh: [comes up from behind a tent] If he is a monster, Mr. Harper, then he's one of British making.
Richard Sharpe: How's that, Captain?
Mohan Singh: The Company have only maintained the peace here, by keeping the princes at each other's throats. Khande Rao's father: he feared his neighbours more than he hated the British. And so it was your country that kept him supplied with arms.
Patrick Harper: That sounds just like the English: getting someone else to do its dirty work!
Mohan Singh: The son is not the father, however: Khande Rao wants you out of our country; once and for all. It is a view with which I cannot say I do not have some sympathy.
Richard Sharpe: So why are you fighting with us?
Mohan Singh: Khande Rao is... a sworn enemy of my blood. And that makes you my enemy's enemy, and therefore, a necessary evil. Good day to you
[inclines his head]
Mohan Singh: both.
[Leaves]
Patrick Harper: I don't think I like the sound of that. A necessary evil...
Richard Sharpe: Were we ever been else?
Patrick Harper: Oh... ,and there was me thinking we were always on the side of the angels.

Patrick Harper: You're a long way from home, Richard. Are you lost?

Mohan Singh: Mr. Harper! Well, it would appear we have been premature in our prayers at your passing.
Patrick Harper: Luck of the Irish, captain. You can't beat it!

Patrick Harper: I've been a soldier too long. You know how it is.

Richard Sharpe: [examining the Indian guns] Rusted dog screw. Would you say this is good enough, Corporal Harper?
Patrick Harper: That I wouldn't, Sergeant. No, that I wouldn't!

General Sir Henry Simmerson: [staring at the head sent by Khande Rao] They killed with a nail, McRae. A nail! Driven into his *skull!*
Patrick Harper: He was, general, but not by any hammer. This is the work of jettis. Professional strongmen: killing people in interesting ways is part of their remit.


Sharpe's Rifles (1993) (TV)
Richard Sharpe: Gimme a pick-lock, Cooper.
Cooper: Pick-lock, sir? Catch me with a pick-lock!
Patrick Harper: They did, Coop. But when you got out of Newgate prison, you got another set, and that's the one the officer wants.
Cooper: Do I get it back, sir?
Richard Sharpe: Trust me.
Cooper: It's very hard to trust a man who wants to borrow your pick-lock, sir.

Patrick Harper: Now there's a woman worth fighting dirty for, sir.

Patrick Harper: Sweet is the silent mouth, Cooper.
Cooper: Didn't say a word, did I?

Patrick Harper: There are two kinds of officers, sir: killin' officers and murderin' officers. Killin' officers are poor old buggers that get you killed by mistake. Murderin' officers are mad, bad, old buggers that get you killed on purpose - for a country, for a religion, maybe even for a flag. You see that Major Hogan, sir? That's what I call a murderin' officer.

Patrick Harper: We don't want to go south, sir.
Richard Sharpe: And what the hell do I care what you and the lads want, eh? You think the British Army's a bloody dem...
[searches]
Richard Sharpe: Dem...
Harris: Democracy, sir. Comes from the Greek word "demos" and means "rule by-"
Richard Sharpe: Shut up, Harris!

Man in Black: You say you are an Irishman. Why should you be loyal to the British dogs, who want to take you to Lisbon to shoot you?
Patrick Harper: Jesus, you took the words right out of my mouth.
Man in Black: I can help you. Give me the box?
Patrick Harper: And if I do?
Man in Black: You will be rich.
Patrick Harper: And if I don't?
Man in Black: You will be dead.
Patrick Harper: Hmm... well, you're having the best of the argument so far.

Patrick Harper: [about Sharpe] He's no proper officer. Never seems to tire, hard to catch him off guard.
Cooper: He let you off light, Harps. Back in the village. So why so hard?
Patrick Harper: It's just not right, Cooper. He's not happy being an officer. And mark my words, he'll bring us bad luck.
[thinks it over]
Patrick Harper: We'll do it tomorrow. In the mountains.

Man in Black: I will give you one hundred guineas in gold, and safe passage to America.
Patrick Harper: America? That'd be nice. But you see, the King of England, owes me last month's wages. And I'd never sleep easy in America knowing that that bastard owes me a shilling!
Man in Black: You would die for a shilling?
Patrick Harper: That's what I signed on to do.
Man in Black: You will have to do it.
Patrick Harper: [hefts his rifle] It's a grand day for it!


Sharpe's Gold (1995) (TV)
Patrick Harper: I had an uncle who thought the Faeries were after him.
Richard Sharpe: What happened to him?
Patrick Harper: Well, sir, they got him.

Patrick Harper: Well would you look at this.
[indicates the redcoats coming down the hill]
Richard Sharpe: Our absent friends.

Patrick Harper: [talking about the arrival of Wellington's relatives] Well, I've never seen him sweat like that before. Poor old Nosey.
Rifleman Cooper: I weren't looking at him, I was looking at the young lady.

Rifleman Skillicorn: Is he supposed to hit me?
Patrick Harper: If he hadn't done, I would have. You've landed him in the shite! Grab your rifle, go on. You'll be lucky to save your neck.

Rifleman Hagman: [recording target scores] Miss Nugent, dead center. Major, you're off center five.
Lt. Ayres: Damn it, should have wagered a hundred.
Patrick Harper: Oh the book's still open, sir.
Lt. Ayres: Right then, raise it.
Patrick Harper: [writes a note] An even hundred you have, sir.

Major Mungo Munro: This is sinful gambling, and I will have no part of it! I'm here to see fair play!
Patrick Harper: It's only sinful, sir, if you lose.

Lt. Ayres: [indicating Hagman] Is he truly your best man?
Patrick Harper: Oh he surely is. That man could shoot a pimple off your nose, without breaking the skin!


Sharpe's Sword (1995) (TV)
[Harper is wounded]
Patrick Harper: Am I going to die this time, Father?
Father Curtis: Yes, my son. Have you any last wishes?
Patrick Harper: I wish I'd married Ramona, Father.
Father Curtis: I can grant you that before you go. Quickly, now. Do you Patrick Harper take this woman to be your lawful wedded wife? Say "I do!"
Patrick Harper: I do.
Father Curtis: Do you Ramona Gonzales take this man to be your husband? Say "I do!"
Ramona: I do.
Father Curtis: I now pronounce you man and wife. Now, get up and kiss the bride.
Patrick Harper: I thought you said I was going to die, Father!
Father Curtis: Sure, we're ALL going to die, Patrick.

Lord Jack Spears: [charges for the French] Up and at 'em, boys, up and at 'em!
Patrick Harper: Silly bugger!
Richard Sharpe: Aye, brave silly bugger though. Let's give him a hand before he gets killed.

Father Curtis: Irish?
Patrick Harper: Indeed I am.
Father Curtis: Then you'll serve Mass on Sunday.
[Harper's face falls, much to the riflemen's amusement]

Richard Sharpe: Have a word with you, Harper! What's this between you and Ramona?
Patrick Harper: She's not talking to me.
Richard Sharpe: Well what have you done to her?
Patrick Harper: Nothing!
Richard Sharpe: Well whatever it is you're not doing. go and do it!
Patrick Harper: [stands up] That's not your business!
Richard Sharpe: Whatever business it is, get it sorted out
[puts his laundry in Harper's hands]
Richard Sharpe: .
Patrick Harper: If that means I'm going to wash and clean your tunics, well, I'm not!
[puts the laundry in Sharpe's hands]
Richard Sharpe: Well I'm not!
[puts his laundry back into Harper's hands]
Patrick Harper: Well I'm not!
[throws the clothes on the ground]

Richard Sharpe: [sees that Lass is only wearing her shift] Good God, Lass, go put some clothes on!
Patrick Harper: She hasn't got any clothes.
Richard Sharpe: Well tell Ramona to go get her some, damn you!
Patrick Harper: I asked her! She told me to shag off.

Patrick Harper: There must be something you can do for him, Father!
Father Curtis: I'm a priest: I pray for him.
Patrick Harper: Is that the best you can do for him?


Sharpe's Mission (1996) (TV)
[Brand is found guilty of six murders. After being goaded by Brand, Sharpe hits him in the chest and he falls back into a deep well to his death]
Ross: Did you see that, Harper?
Harper: Who me, sir? No, I saw nothing, sir.
Ross: Did you see what happened to Col. Brand?
Harper: Oh, he's a funny fish, sir. I just saw him jump head-long into the wishing well. Why do you think he'd want to do something like that, sir?
Ross: Thank you, Harper.

Harper: Chosen Men are men of honour! Men who fight any enemy to the death, but still bury them!

Harper: They'll be back.
Daniel Hagman: I'm getting too old for this!

Sharpe: [he sees from his window that Pat is flirting with a young lady] Pat! What are you doing?
Harper: Just carrying out orders, sir. Nosey told us to fraternize with the local population.
Sharpe: Well in the future, when you fraternize with the local women, make sure they're women over forty!

Harper: I wouldn't want to be caught dead in the same grave as you.


Sharpe's Company (1994) (TV)
[while talking to Harper on sentry, Sharpe hands him a bottle of whiskey]
Richard Sharpe: Here. St. Patrick's Day.
Sgt. Patrick Harper: God save Ireland... you're a grand man.
[takes a pull]
Sgt. Patrick Harper: For an Englishman.

[Harper, framed by Hakeswill for theft, is being flogged]
Drummer Boy: Ninety-three! Ninety-four! Ninety-five!
[Harper has spit out his gag and is grinning widely as the lash lands]
Drummer Boy: Ninety-six! Ninety-seven! Ninety-eight! Ninety-nine! One hundred! One hundred and all's done, sir!
[Harper is released. Still grinning, he starts to walk away]
Colonel Windham: Harper? Come back here.
Sgt. Patrick Harper: Sir?
Colonel Windham: You're a brave man. I salute you for it.
[He tosses Harper a golden guinea. Harper catches it]
Sgt. Patrick Harper: Thank you, sir. Thank you.
[He walks past Sharpe]
Richard Sharpe: You all right?
[Harper's grin remains, but his voice quavers]
Sgt. Patrick Harper: [whispering] Jesus, it hurts like hell! I couldn't have taken much more.

Richard Sharpe: Come smartly to attention now. Atten-SHUN!
[Obadiah stands up straight - and Sharpe belts him, hard. Hakeswill bows over]
Sgt. Patrick Harper: Oh, now see, you don't move when an officer's talking to you. You should know that.
Richard Sharpe: Unless you want to hit me, Obadiah?
Sgt. Patrick Harper: Obadiah?
Richard Sharpe: Dead, if you strike an officer, Obadiah. Dead. Oh... but he can't die. See his neck? They tried to hang him once, and it didn't kill him.
Teresa: I can kill him.
Richard Sharpe: In every battle some try. Look how he stands up. Never disobeys an officer, do you, Obadiah? Why, they love him! I would kill him here and now. Except I swore to do it in front of his victims, for all to see. It's been a long time coming. For he is *evil*, is Obadiah!

Richard Sharpe: Obadiah, and a blackguardly officer called Morris, once beat a native Indian half to death, until I stopped them. They blamed me for it, and I was flogged. Watch him, Pat. He preys on the men. He'll snaffle kit, belts, frogs, haversacks, all entered or found lost by Obadiah, which leads to floggings unless he gets paid. Then wives. He beats men till their wives come to him, which I call rape. I've seen his like before. An evil man marching in a cloud of pipely. And because he kicks up salutes, obeys every officer, he's bombproof to all but us. We who come up from the ranks, we're smart to him.
Sgt. Patrick Harper: We are that.


Sharpe's Peril (2008) (TV)
Patrick Harper: [watches Sharpe get slapped by a noblewoman] Still have your way with the ladies, then?

Patrick Harper: [about Sharpe] When your back's against the wall, he's the one man you want beside you.

Richard Sharpe: [Wants to kill Hakeswill's son] Stand aside Pat.
Patrick Harper: Can't let you do it.
Richard Sharpe: Stand aside, damn you!
Patrick Harper: You'll have to put me down first.

Patrick Harper: [Trying to pass his stone] Come on, flow like the Liffey!


Sharpe's Battle (1995) (TV)
[Perkins is badly wounded]
Perkins: [sobs] Sorry, Sarge!
Patrick Harper: You're gonna be all right, lad.
Perkins: Dan! Dan! Give me a tune, Dan!
Hagman: [sings] O'er the hills, and o'er the main, to Flanders, Portugal and Spain, King George commands and we obey...
Perkins: [sobs] Mother!
Patrick Harper: She's with ya, lad! Mothers never leave you!
Perkins: [sobbing] I'm sorry, Sarge...
[he dies]
Patrick Harper: Oh, my God... Oh, my God... Nobody touches O'Rourke! That bastard's mine!

Patrick Harper: O'Rourke! I'll find you, O'Rourke!
[a group of the renegade Irish appear, and Harper blasts them with his volley gun. Only O'Rourke is left standing]
O'Rourke: Sergeant Harper... you know I've no quarrel with a fellow Irishman.
[He raises his musket and pulls the trigger. It clicks empty]
Patrick Harper: A good soldier always looks after his weapon, Private O'Rourke.
[O'Rourke yells and charges with his bayonet. Harper disarms him and spins him around]
Patrick Harper: O'Rourke, this one's for Perkins...
[stabs him]
Patrick Harper: This one's for Ireland...
[stabs him again]
Patrick Harper: And this one's for me!
[stabs him one last time. O'Rourke falls, dead]

Richard Sharpe: [Harper has dragged out the two Frenchmen captured whilst raping women and killing children] Harper!
Patrick Harper: Sir!
Richard Sharpe: Put them up against the wall. I want a fireing squad ready.
[In responce, all of the riflemen and members of the South Essex form two lines as the squad]


Sharpe's Eagle (1993) (TV)
Berry: [attacking Sharpe] This is going to hurt quite a bit, old boy.
Patrick Harper: So will this, old boy.
[kills Berry]

Leroy: We have to stop him.
Patrick Harper: You can't stop Captain Sharpe, sir. You can walk away from him or you can stand behind him, but don't ever try and get in his way.

Harper: [on the South Essex's musketry] Send them to Ireland. We'd be free in a week.


Sharpe's Waterloo (1997) (TV)
Doggett: [on the Prince of Orange] He did it again. How many more men will he kill? That's my commission gone to the blazes I dare say, but it had to be said.
Richard Sharpe: [choking with grief] Daniel Hagman... Harris... He won't kill anymore!
Patrick Harper: [to Doggett] Oh now you have caused trouble!
[rides after Sharpe]

Harper: Do you still want to see Boney?
Sharpe: More than ever.Might ask him for a job.

[as the French advance on La Haye Sainte, beating their drums and shouting "Vive L'Empereur!"]
Patrick Harper: In all the years that I've been fighting the French... I have become sick and bloody tired of that shite music that they play.


Sharpe's Enemy (1994) (TV)
Teresa: Harper, I have half a bottle of the best Irish whisky from the Irish priests at Salamanca.
Richard Sharpe: You speak a word and you're dead, Harper.
Patrick Harper: I'll be dead, but, sir, I'll be drunk.

Patrick Harper: [the Chosen Men are trying to scare the newly arrived 60th Rifles] May God help them, Mr. Cooper.
Rifleman Cooper: These poor souls, don't know Mr. Sharpe, do they, Sgt. Harper?
Patrick Harper: They don't Mr. Cooper
Rifleman Hagman: They don't know Mr. Sharpe saved Wellington's life, do they, Sgt. Harper?
Patrick Harper: They don't Mr. Hagman.
Harris: They don't know Mr. Sharpe shot three dragoons out of the saddle in thirty seconds do they, Sgt. Harper?
Patrick Harper: They certainly don't, Mr. Harris.
Rifleman Hagman: I bet they don't know Mr. Sharpe shot a man just for having rust on his trigger!
Rifleman Cooper: They don't, Mr. Hagman.
Rifleman Perkins: I bet they don't know Mr. Sharpe shot an officer, just for having dust on his buttons!
[the others pause and stare at Perkins]
Patrick Harper: [resumes] Well what was it Mr. Sharpe says makes a good soldier, Mr. Cooper?
Rifleman Cooper: Remind me again, Sarge.
Patrick Harper: What Major Sharpe says makes a good soldier is the ability to be able to fire three rounds a minute, in any weather.
Rifleman Cooper: Oh I should remember that.
Patrick Harper: Shush, boys. Here he comes: the Devil himself!
[Sharpe arrives]

Richard Sharpe: [looks at the mass of rebels] You see what I see, Pat?
Patrick Harper: You know, sometimes I wish I was blind. Looks like a bloody army to me.
Richard Sharpe: Not just that. Look at their uniforms.
Patrick Harper: Good God! There's French with them.
Richard Sharpe: Spanish and Portuguese too. When word of this gets out, we can kiss goodbye to discipline back home!


Sharpe's Regiment (1996) (TV)
Marriott: [Sharpe has saved him from drowning after he attempts desertion; he is being pulled to shore by Sharpe] No! I must not be flogged! She will not have me! I MUST not be flogged.
Major Richard Sharpe: [Sgt. Lynch shoots Marriot, to Harper and Sharpe's shock] You will not be now.
Sgt. Major Patrick Harper: [grabs Lynch] Treachurous murdering filth! By God the fact that you're an Irishman is terrible. Terrible!

Sgt. Major Patrick Harper: [In full uniform, Harper is get revenge on Sgt Lynch] God Save Ireland! Say it Lynch. Go... SAY IT!

Harper: [after Sharpe has faked their deaths] So, er, what do we do with ourselves now that we're no more?


Sharpe's Siege (1996) (TV)
[Anticipating battle, Harper hands Sharpe a cup of tea]
Sharpe: Thanks, Pat.
Harper: I was thinking. Things could be an awful lot worse, you know.
Sharpe: How the bloody hell could things get worse, Pat?
Harper: We could be without the cup of tea.

Harper: [Referring to a specific soldier] Sir, he's got the...
[whispers 'pox' in Sharpe's ear]
Sharpe: Pox! What are you whispering for Harper? I think I've seen plenty of pox in my time!


Sharpe's Justice (1997) (TV)
Patrick Harper: [On hearing about Sharpe's new commission to Yorkshire] Sure... Who's there to fight in Yorkshire?
Richard Sharpe: Englishmen, I suppose.
Patrick Harper: It's not all bad news, then.