Major Richard Sharpe
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Quotes for
Major Richard Sharpe (Character)
from Sharpe's Eagle (1993) (TV)

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Sharpe's Enemy (1994) (TV)
Richard Sharpe: No wonder Harris reads Voltaire. Listen: Dieu ne pas pour le gros battalions, mais pour sequi teront le meilleur.
Teresa: God is not on the side of the big battalions, but of the best shots.
Richard Sharpe: Not bad for a Frog, eh?

Isabella: Voltaire says, I have no morals, yet I am a very moral person. And that's how I think I am.
Richard Sharpe: That's how I think you are, too.

Nairn: You see that colonel, Sharpe? That colonel came here to make you a major. Would you believe that?
Richard Sharpe: No, sir.
Nairn: Right hand up to God, Sharpe.
Richard Sharpe: That's your left hand, sir.

Richard Sharpe: What are you smiling at, Fredrickson?
Frederickson: I'm not smiling, sir. A musket ball broke my jaw. I have false teeth. The sawbone stuck on the smile for free, sir. He also stuck on my hair. Hair belongs to a horse, sir.

Teresa: Harper, I have half a bottle of the best Irish whisky from the Irish priests at Salamanca.
Richard Sharpe: You speak a word and you're dead, Harper.
Patrick Harper: I'll be dead, but, sir, I'll be drunk.

Ducos: Come, Colonel. We've wasted enough time in Adrados. It was a fool's errand in the first place.
Richard Sharpe: Fool's errand? That man's wife is held hostage, sir! What is he to do?
Ducos: Find another.

Sir Augustus Farthingale: Are you the fellow that Wellington raised from the ranks, Sharpe?
Richard Sharpe: Yes sir.
Sir Augustus Farthingale: Yes, well I always thought it was a bad idea, and now I've got proof of it!

Richard Sharpe: Maybe I'll get lucky, sir. Maybe one of those rockets will blow me to Kingdom Come.
Nairn: That's the spirit, Sharpe!

Richard Sharpe: [examining the Rocket Troop] Very consistent, Lieutenant. Ten salvos and you've missed every time.

Wellington: You think there may be something in those rockets, Sharpe?
Richard Sharpe: Not as to accuracy, sir, but they play merry hell with the morality of poorly led men, sir. The sound is shocking.
Wellington: Scared you, did they?
Richard Sharpe: I was terrified, sir.
Sir Augustus Farthingale: Do, uh, you you really think this Sharpe's the right man to send, sir? Won't cut and run if someone lets off a gun, will he?
Teresa: Who is this fool?

Rifleman Perkins: [Perkins is being disguised as a woman for the night attack] Why can't Harris where the dress, sir?
Richard Sharpe: Harris doesn't have the figure for it!
[the others jeer]
Rifleman Perkins: I must protest it's not fair, it's not fair! It's always me!

Richard Sharpe: No apologies about your men?
Frederickson: Men are dirty, Mr. Sharpe. Rifles are clean!

Richard Sharpe: I'll be lucky to get away with a court martial!

Colonel Dubreton: [Sharpe quotes Voltaire in French] You told me you didn't speak French.
Richard Sharpe: I lied. My wife taught me: she taught me many things. Above all how to say goodbye.
[grabs Ducos]
Richard Sharpe: Someday, I'll say goodbye to you!

Richard Sharpe: [looks at the mass of rebels] You see what I see, Pat?
Patrick Harper: You know, sometimes I wish I was blind. Looks like a bloody army to me.
Richard Sharpe: Not just that. Look at their uniforms.
Patrick Harper: Good God! There's French with them.
Richard Sharpe: Spanish and Portuguese too. When word of this gets out, we can kiss goodbye to discipline back home!

Richard Sharpe: [sees Kelly for the first time] I know you!
Kelly: [astonished] Do you?
Richard Sharpe: [thoughtful] Battle of Talavera. I'll have your name in a tick...
Sgt. Obadiah Hakeswill: No names for the firing squad, Sharpy!
[turns to Kelly]
Sgt. Obadiah Hakeswill: Strip her!
Kelly: [backs away] Let the Frogs do it.

Dubreton: [Nodding to a bound Hakeswill] This is the man who killed your wife.
Sharpe: A liar, a thief, a rapist, a murderer.That's not a man.Take it away.

Richard Sharpe: Tell General Chaumier, we will fight him to the death.
Ducos: [laughs] Major Sharpe is not well. We outnumber you ten to one. There will be no terms if you do not surrender immediately.
[For answer, Sharpe plucks off Ducos's glasses, drops them to the ground, and crushes them with his boot]
Richard Sharpe: To the death.
Sir Augustus Farthingale: I'm in charge here, *Major* Sharpe! We shall discuss terms immediately.
[Ducos smirks. Sharpe grabs Farthingdale by the arm and pulls him aside]
Richard Sharpe: Your wife was a whore, sir. I know, for I was once her lover. Let that get out, and you'll be the laughingstock of Lisbon, and then of London. Leave now, and on my honor, no word of it shall pass my lips.
Sir Augustus Farthingale: [pale] But... but I do love her, you know.
[Sharpe sneers and returns Farthingdale's watch with a slap]
Richard Sharpe: You're a damned liar.


Sharpe's Challenge (2006) (TV)
Richard Sharpe: I thought you were dead Pat
Patrick Harper: I can't be watching your arse if I'm dead now, can I?

Davi Lal: [Sharpe is asking him to steal from two merchants] But that would be stealing sahib. How am I to be a good British soldier if you make me into a thief again?
Richard Sharpe: It isn't thieving when you're hungry, Davi. That's the first thing any soldier learns. Now go on.

Richard Sharpe: It's a poor bloody spot for a tea party, Captain. Bandit country, and that one picket horse along the track, might call that reckless.

General Sir Henry Simmerson: You should be wary of this one, McRae. He thinks because Wellington raised him up from the sewer that it somehow makes him a gentleman. Don't know your place, do you Sharpie?
Richard Sharpe: Maybe not, but I know how to stand before a French column. I know how to face fire without soiling my breeches and turning tail.

Sgt Shadrach Bickerstaff: Easy to be brave, with rank and new sunlight behind ye. I hope you sleep light Colonel, lest you find some morning you wake up to find your throat slit!
Richard Sharpe: Is that a threat Sergeant?
Sgt Shadrach Bickerstaff: Take it as ye please.
Richard Sharpe: Oh I do. So come on, let's sort it out now, just you and me.
Sgt Shadrach Bickerstaff: [laughs] I weren't born yesterday neither, Colonel. 'Tis a hanging offense to strike an officer!
Richard Sharpe: But like you said, I'm not a company officer.
Sgt Shadrach Bickerstaff: All the same, I will not hit a man wearing the King's Uniform.
Richard Sharpe: No? Well that's easily remedied.
[starts unbuttoning his uniform]

Richard Sharpe: You want me to go back to India?

Richard Sharpe: Next time I give an order, you bloody jump to. Understand?
Sgt Shadrach Bickerstaff: [groans incomprehensively;.when Sharpe walks away, he pulls a knife from his boot and charges after Sharpe]
Patrick Harper: [notices the ambush] Richard!
Richard Sharpe: [Sharpe turns around and beats him to the ground] Come at me with a knife will ya? You little gutless bastard!
[is pulled off the sergeant by Harper]
Richard Sharpe: Had enough Shadragh?

Richard Sharpe: You got your throne. How does it feel, your Majesty?

Patrick Harper: Come on now lads... three to one? That's not fair odds.
Richard Sharpe: They don't want fair odds, Pat.

Richard Sharpe: There's me thinking, to want all our blood for something more than making rich men richer.

Richard Sharpe: Black powder? Good trick, that. I'll remember that one.
William Dodd: Be sure that you do.

Richard Sharpe: What do you reckon then, Pat? This Khande Rao can be taken?
Patrick Harper: Well he has a reputation of being a real monster.
Mohan Singh: [comes up from behind a tent] If he is a monster, Mr. Harper, then he's one of British making.
Richard Sharpe: How's that, Captain?
Mohan Singh: The Company have only maintained the peace here, by keeping the princes at each other's throats. Khande Rao's father: he feared his neighbours more than he hated the British. And so it was your country that kept him supplied with arms.
Patrick Harper: That sounds just like the English: getting someone else to do its dirty work!
Mohan Singh: The son is not the father, however: Khande Rao wants you out of our country; once and for all. It is a view with which I cannot say I do not have some sympathy.
Richard Sharpe: So why are you fighting with us?
Mohan Singh: Khande Rao is... a sworn enemy of my blood. And that makes you my enemy's enemy, and therefore, a necessary evil. Good day to you
[inclines his head]
Mohan Singh: both.
[Leaves]
Patrick Harper: I don't think I like the sound of that. A necessary evil...
Richard Sharpe: Were we ever been else?
Patrick Harper: Oh... ,and there was me thinking we were always on the side of the angels.

General Sir Henry Simmerson: Sharpe! I see time has done nothing to improve a want of etiquette in you. Still the same, whore-mongering, gutter trash of memory!
Richard Sharpe: Aye, and you're still the same cruel, flogging bastard!
General Sir Henry Simmerson: Cruel, sir? I calls it discipline!

Mohan Singh: Where are you going?
Richard Sharpe: [points at the scene of the massacre] After the bastards that did this, where do you think?

Richard Sharpe: [grabs Bickerstaff while the sergeant is beating an Indian soldier] Damnit! Stand off!
Sgt Shadrach Bickerstaff: Mind your damn business!
Richard Sharpe: I'm not going to tell you again.
Sgt Shadrach Bickerstaff: Who in the bloody hell are you to give me orders? You're no company officer!
Richard Sharpe: No, Sgt. Bickerstaff, I'm not. I'm from a proper army, that knows how to deal with bullying bastards like you!

Richard Sharpe: [examining the Indian guns] Rusted dog screw. Would you say this is good enough, Corporal Harper?
Patrick Harper: That I wouldn't, Sergeant. No, that I wouldn't!


Sharpe's Rifles (1993) (TV)
Richard Sharpe: Gimme a pick-lock, Cooper.
Cooper: Pick-lock, sir? Catch me with a pick-lock!
Patrick Harper: They did, Coop. But when you got out of Newgate prison, you got another set, and that's the one the officer wants.
Cooper: Do I get it back, sir?
Richard Sharpe: Trust me.
Cooper: It's very hard to trust a man who wants to borrow your pick-lock, sir.

Teresa: If you were French, I would take a knife and you would tell me all I wanted to know.
Richard Sharpe: But we are allies.
Teresa: Allies? Do allies keep secrets from each other?
Richard Sharpe: Lovers keep secrets from each other, yet they still make love.

[Sharpe is asking his men about their pasts]
Sharpe: Well?
Harris: Harris. From Wheatley in Oxfordshire.
Sharpe: And previously?
Harris: A courtier to my lord Bacchus and an unremitting debtor.
Sharpe: You're a rake and a wastrel, Harris. Is there anything you *can* do?
Harris: I can read, sir.

Cooper: Can I ask you a question, sir? Where'd you learn to fight so dirty, sir?
Richard Sharpe: Same place as you, Cooper. Saturday night in the gutters.
Cooper: Long way from home, sir.
Richard Sharpe: Never was much of a home, Cooper.
Cooper: No, sir. That it weren't.
Richard Sharpe: Did you volunteer for this lot, Cooper?
Cooper: Uh no, not exactly sir. I was invited to join... by a magistrate.

[Inspecting the "Chosen Men", the company sharpshooters]
Richard Sharpe: Chosen Men, are you? Well, I didn't choose you.

Richard Sharpe: So... the Chosen Men, eh? Well, I didn't choose you. But I know you, you and your kind, all my life. All I know is how to fight. So if there's any man among you expecting a quick ramble through this war, now's the time.
[No one speaks up]
Richard Sharpe: You're sure, now? Right! Join the column, at the double!

Richard Sharpe: Name?
Cooper: Cooper, sir.
Richard Sharpe: Where you from, Cooper?
Cooper: Shoreditch, sir.
Richard Sharpe: Previous employment?
Cooper: By way of a trader, sir. In... property and the like.
Richard Sharpe: Would that be other people's property, Cooper?

Rifleman Hagman: Daniel Hagman, poacher.
Richard Sharpe: You a good shot, then, Hagman?
Rifleman Hagman: Aye, I can shoot, sir.
Richard Sharpe: Go on, then. Show me.
[He pulls a beret out of Hagman's belt, and tosses it into the air. Hagman fires his rifle. Sharpe picks up the beret and shows him the hole in it]
Richard Sharpe: You've defaced the King's uniform, Hagman. I could put you up on a charge for that.

Rifleman Tongue: Isiah Tongue, sir!
Richard Sharpe: Yes, I know that. Where you from, Tongue?
Rifleman Tongue: [mumbling] No, sir...
Richard Sharpe: Speak up, man!
Rifleman Tongue: Don't know, sir!
Richard Sharpe: What about your family?
Rifleman Tongue: Don't know, sir!
Richard Sharpe: Previous employment?
Rifleman Tongue: Army, sir. Just army.

Patrick Harper: We don't want to go south, sir.
Richard Sharpe: And what the hell do I care what you and the lads want, eh? You think the British Army's a bloody dem...
[searches]
Richard Sharpe: Dem...
Harris: Democracy, sir. Comes from the Greek word "demos" and means "rule by-"
Richard Sharpe: Shut up, Harris!

Richard Sharpe: [hands Perkins the flag of the regiment] Perkins, I want you to protect this pennant with your life!
Rifleman Perkins: Yes sir.

Richard Sharpe: [Teresa and the Spanish have Sharpe and the riflemen at gunpoint, interrupting the brawl between Sharpe and Harper] Who the devil are you?
Major Blas Vivar: [enters] Allow me to introduce Commandante Teresa. The commander of the guerrillas who fight the French in these mountains.
Richard Sharpe: And who are you?
Major Blas Vivar: I am Major Blas Vivar. Count of Mataomoro, Major General in the most holy armies of his Majesty the King of Spain. And you?
Richard Sharpe: Lieutenant Sharpe. 95th Rifles.
Major Blas Vivar: Only a lieutenant? Perhaps they do not promote you because you fight with your men?
Richard Sharpe: That man is a mutineer, sir. He'll be taken back to Lisbon and shot!

Richard Sharpe: [glares at his riflemen] Now listen. I'm in charge here. Not them, not Harper; I'm in command. You follow me.

Richard Sharpe: [is helping Hagman through the marsh, and winces] Damn knee! Old leg wound, Hagman. Rain plays the devil with it!
Rifleman Hagman: Aye. Brown paper and paraffin oil is the only cure for a contrary leg!

Major Hogan: Surprised to see me, Richard? Well you've done a grand job, a grand job. But now, at dawn tomorrow, with the help of my agent Commandante Teresa, who I believe you've met, I want you to seize the chapel at Torre Castro and hold it against all comers until Major Vivar has raised the gonfalon of Santiago over the chapel roof.
Richard Sharpe: Seize Torre Castro? With six men and a straggle of Spaniards? Can't be done! May I remind you of our main mission, sir? To find a missing gentleman?
Major Hogan: Not now, Richard. Our mission is Torre Castro. Spain is a sleeping tiger! If the people of Torre Castro rise up, even for an hour, the shock will shake the whole of Spain. Carry on, sir.
Richard Sharpe: Rise up? Do you really believe men will fight and die for a rag on a pole?
Major Hogan: You do, Richard, you do.

Wellesley: What do you do when you're short of cash, Sharpe?
Sharpe: Do without, sir.


Sharpe's Peril (2008) (TV)
Marie-Angelique Bonnet: [First lines] You, soldier. Dance with me.
Richard Sharpe: I do not dance.
Marie-Angelique Bonnet: Do not, sir? Or cannot?
Richard Sharpe: Will not.

Richard Sharpe: If it's gratitude you're after, you've joined the wrong army.

Richard Sharpe: I am no longer in the service of His Majesty. My business in India concluded I am for Calcutta to England.
Viscount Sedgefield: I cannot persuade you? Well perhaps then, you might at least be prevailed upon to perform one last duty? In which case I assure you there is no trouble to yourself.
Richard Sharpe: Aye. If I can.

Richard Sharpe: [Preparing to bleed a horse] Keep the bugger still, Pat!

Marie-Angelique Bonnet: You mean to leave me here? In the company of common soldiers!
Richard Sharpe: Good practice, I'd have thought. You're set to marry one aren't you?
Marie-Angelique Bonnet: Major Joubert is a gentleman.
Richard Sharpe: Aye, well God help him.

Richard Sharpe: Sooner an honest murderer, than a man should steal from his mates.

Marie-Angelique Bonnet: At least I won't be kept awake by your snoring.
Richard Sharpe: I don't snore.
Marie-Angelique Bonnet: Like a cart horse!

Richard Sharpe: Where the hell do you think you're about?
Marie-Angelique Bonnet: I wanted to ride.
Richard Sharpe: I can see that!

Richard Sharpe: For once in your life do as you're damn well told!

Major Tredinnick: Colonel! What's this man's father to you?
Richard Sharpe: He killed my wife! He killed her, and left our daughter motherless!

Marie-Angelique Bonnet: You are rude and ignorant and an uncouth brute!
Richard Sharpe: And you, madam, are a spoiled, willful, petulant, and selfish young fool!

Richard Sharpe: [Wants to kill Hakeswill's son] Stand aside Pat.
Patrick Harper: Can't let you do it.
Richard Sharpe: Stand aside, damn you!
Patrick Harper: You'll have to put me down first.

Richard Sharpe: Just when it seemed to be going so well...

Richard Sharpe: I was raised up from the ranks, Wormwood. You know what that means?
Wormwood: It means you done a feat, sir. Usually.
Richard Sharpe: It also means I know every dirty soldier's trick in the book.

Richard Sharpe: These people were farmers, Pat. No threat to anyone. Where's the profit in it?


Sharpe's Regiment (1996) (TV)
Charlie Weller: [speaking about the French] Then they must be quaking in terror!
Major Richard Sharpe: Oh they are, Charlie. They know they face us!

Prince Regent: How'd you do?
Major Richard Sharpe: [nervous] Eh?... Your Majesty...
Prince Regent: What d'you say? What d'you say? Did you say 'eh'?
[turns to entourage]
Prince Regent: He said 'eh'!
[he and entourage laugh]
Prince Regent: What are you doing in rifle green if you're South Essex? Ain't they red?
Major Richard Sharpe: Y-yes sir, your majesty sir...
Prince Regent: [beckons Sharpe forward] Come up, come up.
[Sharpe approaches]
Prince Regent: Now look Sharpe!
[he laughs]
Prince Regent: May I call you Dick?
Major Richard Sharpe: Uh... honoured sir.
Prince Regent: Call me... well call me your royal Highness, but damn me the honour is entirely mine, Dick!

Marriott: [Sharpe has saved him from drowning after he attempts desertion; he is being pulled to shore by Sharpe] No! I must not be flogged! She will not have me! I MUST not be flogged.
Major Richard Sharpe: [Sgt. Lynch shoots Marriot, to Harper and Sharpe's shock] You will not be now.
Sgt. Major Patrick Harper: [grabs Lynch] Treachurous murdering filth! By God the fact that you're an Irishman is terrible. Terrible!

Major General Ross: Your regiment's to be broken up.
Major Richard Sharpe: What!
Major General Ross: Lord Fenner suggested your men be given to other battalions, that your colours be sent home, and that your officers either exchange their regiments, sell their commissions, or make themselves available for our disposal.

Sgt. Horatio Havercamp: Regiment. Where'd ye serve?
Major Richard Sharpe: 33rd. India.
Sgt. Horatio Havercamp: You didn't desert?
Major Richard Sharpe: I wasn't caught, so I didn't.

Major Richard Sharpe: Can I trust you Smith?
Capt. Smith: Yes. I was always uneasy. Always sir. But I'd been purchased over several times. I obtained a Captaincy I could not afford.
Major Richard Sharpe: I know what that means, Smith.

Lt. Colonel Girdwood: I am well aware of Horse Guards, and they are well of me! Is lord Fenner secretary of state, or is he not that position sir?
Major Richard Sharpe: Is the Duke of York Commander in Chief, or is he not, sir? To whom do you look for advancement? Your chief or your friends, sir?
Lt. Colonel Girdwood: I command here!
Major Richard Sharpe: No. I command here.
Lt. Colonel Girdwood: No, no...
Major Richard Sharpe: [hits Girdwood with his own cane] Yes!
Capt. Carline: [walks in] Colonel Girdwood...
Major Richard Sharpe: Colonel Girdwood is under arrest! And you are under my command.
Major Richard Sharpe: You will confine Colonel Girdwood to his quarters, and obtain all papers appertaining to this battalion
[snaps cane]
Major Richard Sharpe: Go through this place. Every scrap of paper, every notebook, everything.

Major General Ross: Not being a little hard on Girdwood, are you?
Major Richard Sharpe: At Foulness, sir, Colonel Girdwood gave orders that deserters were to be shot out of hand. I saw one killed. He hunted men through the marshland like they were rats. He wants to see a battle? He'll see a battle!

Courtier: Uniform fits like a bowl of wax, but those boots won't do.
Major Richard Sharpe: They did very well for a Colonel in Napoleon's Imperial Guard I had to kill before he'd give them to me!

Marriott: They treat us like animals! We're not animals, we're men!
Major Richard Sharpe: We're not. We're soldiers now.

Major Richard Sharpe: Let's show them what riflemen can do, Pat!

Major General Ross: Bloody day, Sharpe, bloody day.
[hands him a flask]
Major General Ross: How many have you lost?
Major Richard Sharpe: [over the cannon fire] Thirty today sir.
Major General Ross: And how many have you got left?
Major Richard Sharpe: Hundred and twenty can still do duty. Eighty six still in strength. But maimed or sick, though, they'll be made to go to hospitals.
Major General Ross: You're expecting replacements of course?
Major Richard Sharpe: Yes sir.
Major General Ross: From the Second Battalion, Chelmsford?
[Hands Sharpe a letter]
Major General Ross: Lord Fenner, Secretary of State at War, works for the Secretary of State of War, doesn't know what a war is, of course. Politicians, Sharpe, they're not fit to lick your jakes out!
Major Richard Sharpe: [looks at the letter] What am I supposed to see, sir?
Major General Ross: Down at the bottom, some mention of the South Essex.
Major Richard Sharpe: [reads] Second Battalion now a Holding Battalion.
Major General Ross: Few boys perhaps. Good man waiting on replacement if you're lucky.
Major Richard Sharpe: [reads further] No draft available.
[Looks up]
Major Richard Sharpe: But there were eight recruiting parties last I heard!
Major General Ross: It can't be black and white, Fenner's said you've got no replacements, so there you are.

Major Richard Sharpe: Do you have such a thing as an officer of the day?
Capt. Carline: Of course!
Major Richard Sharpe: Who is it?
Capt. Carline: Actually, me!
Major Richard Sharpe: Actually, you?
Capt. Carline: Yes! Captain Carline! And you are?
Major Richard Sharpe: I am Major Richard Sharpe.
[Carline is surprised]
Major Richard Sharpe: South Essex. You've heard of me.
Capt. Carline: Uh...yes. You..you took the French Eagle at Talavera, sir.
Major Richard Sharpe: But you haven't heard of a guard detail?
Capt. Carline: Sir?
Major Richard Sharpe: Why wasn't there a guard on the gates?
Capt. Carline: Um...I don't know, sir.
Capt. Carline: You don't know? You're officer of the day! No guard mounted! What are you doing when you're not playing blind man's buff, dancing pomps?

Major Richard Sharpe: Still alive, Ted Carew?
Sgt. Ted Carew: Permission to speak, still journeying, sir. You'll be kind to remember I was with you at Tallyvera. Where I left me leg and drew up a lackery one!


Sharpe's Sword (1995) (TV)
Richard Sharpe: Take my advice, Harris. When you get home, write a bloody good book with loads of shooting in it. You'll die a rich man.

Rifleman Hagman: Permission to speak sir?
Rifleman Hagman: [hands Sharpe a bundle from his pocket] Best brown paper and paraffin oil, it's for your wound.
Richard Sharpe: Thank you Hagman.

Lord Jack Spears: I suppose they'll shoot me?
Richard Sharpe: I suppose so.
Lord Jack Spears: I didn't do it for the money Richard. Though it would have been damned useful.
Richard Sharpe: So why did you do it Jack?
Lord Jack Spears: Courage. It's like the King's Shilling, Richard. Some soldiers save it, some soldiers spend it all in one day. I told you my life was saved by a French doctor. Well the doctor was Colonel Leroux, and he saved my life simply by virtue of the fact that he stopped torturing me before I died. And I just couldn't stand it anymore. See I had spent the whole coin of courage. And then he made me sign some papers, betraying my honour, and the honour of a lady I once loved. And I could not let him use that, so I became his spy, ridiculous as this sounds to you Richard.

Major Mungo Munro: [he has just finished a bagpipe solo] Which would you prefer me to do, Sharpe? Play Beallagh na Bruga, that's the Munro march... or send you on a dangerous mission?
Richard Sharpe: Dangerous mission, sir.
Major Mungo Munro: Who's winning the war, Sharpe?
Richard Sharpe: Wellington, sir.
Major Mungo Munro: Why's he winning it, Sharpe?
Richard Sharpe: Steady troops, sir.
Major Mungo Munro: Superior intelligence, Sharpe. Supplied by whom, laddie?
Richard Sharpe: Men like you, sir.
Major Mungo Munro: [disgusted:] Och, don't *lick* me, laddie!

Richard Sharpe: [Leroux claims he can't speak English] See if you understand this, on the count of three I'm gonna kick you in the crotch!

Lord Jack Spears: [charges for the French] Up and at 'em, boys, up and at 'em!
Patrick Harper: Silly bugger!
Richard Sharpe: Aye, brave silly bugger though. Let's give him a hand before he gets killed.

Colonel Berkeley: [Leroux breaks for it] He breaks his parole, and kills an eighteen year old boy!
Richard Sharpe: Don't worry sir, we'll go in and get him tomorrow.
Colonel Berkeley: Tomorrow! I'm going in tonight, Sharpe! I want to see that bastard dead by dawn.

[Munro is playing bagpipes from inside his tent. Sharpe talks to a Highland soldier guarding the entrance]
Richard Sharpe: How can you stand it?
[the soldier shakes his head, not understanding]
Richard Sharpe: [yelling] How can you stand it?
[the soldier grins and takes a ball of cotton wool out of his ear]

Richard Sharpe: Have a word with you, Harper! What's this between you and Ramona?
Patrick Harper: She's not talking to me.
Richard Sharpe: Well what have you done to her?
Patrick Harper: Nothing!
Richard Sharpe: Well whatever it is you're not doing. go and do it!
Patrick Harper: [stands up] That's not your business!
Richard Sharpe: Whatever business it is, get it sorted out
[puts his laundry in Harper's hands]
Richard Sharpe: .
Patrick Harper: If that means I'm going to wash and clean your tunics, well, I'm not!
[puts the laundry in Sharpe's hands]
Richard Sharpe: Well I'm not!
[puts his laundry back into Harper's hands]
Patrick Harper: Well I'm not!
[throws the clothes on the ground]

Richard Sharpe: [sees that Lass is only wearing her shift] Good God, Lass, go put some clothes on!
Patrick Harper: She hasn't got any clothes.
Richard Sharpe: Well tell Ramona to go get her some, damn you!
Patrick Harper: I asked her! She told me to shag off.

Munro: What you don't know don't hurt you, Sharpe.
Sharpe: Beg pardon, sir, but in my experience what you don't know usually gets you killed.


Sharpe's Mission (1996) (TV)
Wellington: I'd be obliged if you'd show that fellow Shellington around the camp. I can't spare another officer.
Sharpe: Yes sir.
Wellington: Oh, and Sharpe, you better brace yourself. He's a poet.
Sharpe: Poet, sir? My wife will be delighted.
Wellington: Really? Personally I'd rather call for the surgeon and have him cut off my goddamn foot with a saw.

[Shellington has passed out from seeing the dead bodies]
Ross: What are we going to do with him, Sharpe?
Sharpe: Send him home, sir.
Ross: Home? He'll need an escort.
Sharpe: Send two of Brand's men back with him. They know the terrain. Gives us a perfect excuse for bringing Brand back.
Ross: What if he doesn't want to go back to Wellington's camp?
Sharpe: Oh, he'll want to, sir.
Shellington: [coming around] Where am I?
Sharpe: [to Ross] Might even try to seduce my wife.

[Harris is confined to camp pending a murder inquiry]
Sharpe: Harris, until this matter is resolved, you're my responsibility. Now while I'm on this mission, you will act as manservant to my wife.
Harris: You're letting a suspected murderer look after your wife, sir?
Sharpe: Harris, I am posting you to my household as I would post you to a position on a battlefield.
Harris: [saluting and smiling] Yes, sir!

Daniel Hagman: Brings back fond memories, eh, sir? Beg your pardon, sir.
Sharpe: That's alright. Just keep an eye out on 'em. I don't know who's about.
Daniel Hagman: Don't you worry sir. Me and the lass; we'll look out for him.

Ross: From what I hear, sometimes he is outside the law.
Sharpe: Maybe he uses rough methods, but he gets results. So do you.
Ross: Maybe I do, but I don't take pleasure in it.
Sharpe: You're a damn liar.

Sharpe: You did your best sir. You did more than your best.

Jane: I hate the bugle because I hate the army. Because I hate the war.
Sharpe: We all hate the war.
Jane: No you don't you love it!
Sharpe: I'm a soldier.
Jane: What will you do when you get home, Richard? You'll still be a soldier, but there won't be a war. And if there's no war then you won't be happy. What will you do all day?
Sharpe: Well, what every officer does. What every husband does. Whatever that is...
Jane: I'll tell you what they do, Richard. They ride, they hunt, they gamble, they play cards, they look after their gardens, their dogs, their libraries. They wine and dine and make polite conversation. They cut a figure in society.

Sharpe: [he sees from his window that Pat is flirting with a young lady] Pat! What are you doing?
Harper: Just carrying out orders, sir. Nosey told us to fraternize with the local population.
Sharpe: Well in the future, when you fraternize with the local women, make sure they're women over forty!

Sharpe: Sorry about keeping you from the rest of the camp. But I have my reasons.
Pyecroft: No need to apologize, Sharpe. I'm used to being on my own.
Sharpe: [reveals that he brought along Pyecroft's beloved as a stowaway, to Pyecroft's surprise] Well you won't be on your own tonight.
Pyecroft: ...thank you Sharpe.


Sharpe's Company (1994) (TV)
Richard Sharpe: That rifle's loaded and rammed, Sergeant.
Hakeswill: Sir?
Richard Sharpe: Did you know, Sergeant?
Hakeswill: Me, sir? No, sir, never, sir!
Richard Sharpe: This yours, Sergeant?
Hakeswill: No, sir. Not me, sir. Him, sir. Private 'Arper, sir!
Richard Sharpe: Well how many more are loaded?
[puts rifles under Hakeswill's chin, pulls trigger, nothing happens]
Richard Sharpe: Harris!
[throws him the rifle]
Richard Sharpe: Cooper! Hagman! Perkins!
[threatens Hakeswill with Harper's volley gun]
Richard Sharpe: They say you can't be killed, Sergeant Hakeswill. It is known. 'Come with me, my lads, for I cannot die. I'm going to live for ever, for they tried to hang me once but did... not... do it.' I could almost believe it. Except in the case of someone you tried to kill, Sergeant Hakeswill... and did... not... do it. I wonder who that might be, Sergeant. You're a dead man, Obadiah. BANG!

[while talking to Harper on sentry, Sharpe hands him a bottle of whiskey]
Richard Sharpe: Here. St. Patrick's Day.
Sgt. Patrick Harper: God save Ireland... you're a grand man.
[takes a pull]
Sgt. Patrick Harper: For an Englishman.

[Harper, framed by Hakeswill for theft, is being flogged]
Drummer Boy: Ninety-three! Ninety-four! Ninety-five!
[Harper has spit out his gag and is grinning widely as the lash lands]
Drummer Boy: Ninety-six! Ninety-seven! Ninety-eight! Ninety-nine! One hundred! One hundred and all's done, sir!
[Harper is released. Still grinning, he starts to walk away]
Colonel Windham: Harper? Come back here.
Sgt. Patrick Harper: Sir?
Colonel Windham: You're a brave man. I salute you for it.
[He tosses Harper a golden guinea. Harper catches it]
Sgt. Patrick Harper: Thank you, sir. Thank you.
[He walks past Sharpe]
Richard Sharpe: You all right?
[Harper's grin remains, but his voice quavers]
Sgt. Patrick Harper: [whispering] Jesus, it hurts like hell! I couldn't have taken much more.

Richard Sharpe: Sgt. Hakeswill...
Hakeswill: Permission to speak, sir!
[pause]
Hakeswill: I've nothing to say, sir.
[drops voice]
Hakeswill: Oh my word, what a surprise... Sharpie.
Richard Sharpe: You are come to me?
Hakeswill: Ever such a long way. I was despairing.
Richard Sharpe: LEFT FACE!
[Hakeswill obeys automatically]
Richard Sharpe: QUICK MARCH!
[Hakeswill walks forward until he is facing the wall. Sharpe grabs his head and mashes his face into the wall]
Richard Sharpe: You lay a finger on any of my men, Sgt., and I'll bloody kill you.

Richard Sharpe: Come smartly to attention now. Atten-SHUN!
[Obadiah stands up straight - and Sharpe belts him, hard. Hakeswill bows over]
Sgt. Patrick Harper: Oh, now see, you don't move when an officer's talking to you. You should know that.
Richard Sharpe: Unless you want to hit me, Obadiah?
Sgt. Patrick Harper: Obadiah?
Richard Sharpe: Dead, if you strike an officer, Obadiah. Dead. Oh... but he can't die. See his neck? They tried to hang him once, and it didn't kill him.
Teresa: I can kill him.
Richard Sharpe: In every battle some try. Look how he stands up. Never disobeys an officer, do you, Obadiah? Why, they love him! I would kill him here and now. Except I swore to do it in front of his victims, for all to see. It's been a long time coming. For he is *evil*, is Obadiah!

Richard Sharpe: Obadiah, and a blackguardly officer called Morris, once beat a native Indian half to death, until I stopped them. They blamed me for it, and I was flogged. Watch him, Pat. He preys on the men. He'll snaffle kit, belts, frogs, haversacks, all entered or found lost by Obadiah, which leads to floggings unless he gets paid. Then wives. He beats men till their wives come to him, which I call rape. I've seen his like before. An evil man marching in a cloud of pipely. And because he kicks up salutes, obeys every officer, he's bombproof to all but us. We who come up from the ranks, we're smart to him.
Sgt. Patrick Harper: We are that.

Richard Sharpe: I'm a soldier, sir, not a bloody clerk! I fetch, I forage, and I take punishment drills! It's "yes sir, no sir, can I dig your latrine, sir?" and it's not bloody soldiering!
Major Nairn: It *is* bloody soldiering! What the hell do you think soldiering is? Just because you've been allowed to swan about like a bloody pirate for years...!
Richard Sharpe: Look, sir, when you fling us up against those walls, you'll be glad there's some pirates in there, and not just bloody clerks!

Captain Rymer: The men hate digging.
Richard Sharpe: Wouldn't you?
Captain Rymer: [Awkward] I have never dug.


Sharpe's Eagle (1993) (TV)
[of the South Essex]
Richard Sharpe: They're flogged soldiers, sir. And flogging teaches a soldier only one lesson.
Maj. Hogan: What's that, Richard?
Richard Sharpe: How to turn his back.

Richard Sharpe: Those men who've fought in a big battle before, one pace forward.
[no one moves]
Richard Sharpe: This place is called Talavera. There's going to be a battle here tomorrow. You'll fight in it... maybe even die in it. But you won't see it.
[explosion]
Richard Sharpe: There's a lot of smoke in a battle. Our cannon, their cannon. Our shot, their shell. Our volleys, their volleys.
[shots]
Richard Sharpe: You don't see a battle. You *hear* it. Black powder blasting by the ton on all sides. Black smoke blinding you and choking you and making you vomit. Then the French come out of the smoke - not in a line, but in a column. And they march towards our thin line, kettledrums hammering like hell and a golden eagle blazing overhead. They march slowly, and it takes them a long time to reach you, and you can't see them in smoke. But you can hear the drums. They march out of the smoke, and you fire a volley. And the front rank of the column falls, and the next rank steps over them, with drums hammering, and the column smashes your line like a hammer breaking glass... and Napoleon has won another battle. But if you don't run - if you stand until you can smell the garlic, and fire volley after volley, three rounds a minute - then they slow down. They stop. And then they run away. All you've got to do is stand, and fire three rounds a minute. Now, you and I know you can fire three rounds a minute. But can you stand?

Wellesley: Sharpe, I can make you a captain, but I cannot keep you a captain. There is talk of an imperial eagle, Sharpe. There is talk of a promise made to the late Major Lennox. Swear to me on oath that the talk is just idle gossip, Sharpe, or by God, sir, you will walk out of that door a lieutenant.
Richard Sharpe: I swear on oath tha no one heard me make a promise in respect of an imperial eagle to Major Lennox, sir.
Wellesley: Colonel Lawford?
Colonel Lawford: Sir?
Wellesley: You may escort Captain Sharpe to the door, Colonel Lawford.

Maj. Hogan: Richard, your mind has been making appointments your body should never keep.
Richard Sharpe: What do you mean by that?
Maj. Hogan: You have ambition which could be the making of you but you also have a romantic soul which could be the breaking of you. Ambition and romance is a poisonous brew, and I mean to distill the one from the other.

Sir Henry Simmerson: Do YOU know what makes a good soldier?
Richard Sharpe: Yes, sir.
Sir Henry Simmerson: [pause, then] And what makes a good soldier?
Richard Sharpe: The ability to fire three rounds a minute.

Maj. Hogan: [Sharpe has just taught the South Essex to fire three rounds a minute] Sharpe.
Richard Sharpe: Yes, sir?
Maj. Hogan: Stop showing off, Sharpe.
Richard Sharpe: [grins] Yes, sir.

Leroy: [he has just seen Sharpe talking with Colonel Lawford] You and the young lord twins, or what?
Richard Sharpe: We spent three months chained in a cell in India. He had a page of the Bible. In three months he taught me how to read and write. How can you pay back a man who teaches you how to write your own name, Captain?

Richard Sharpe: [eulogizing the dead Major Lennox] At a place called Assaye I saw an army about to turn and run. One Major stepped forward and steadied the line. He saved us. Major Lennox, 78th Scottish Highlanders.
[He turns away]
Denny: [long pause, then to Captain Leroy] I thought he was just an old man!


Sharpe's Waterloo (1997) (TV)
Richard Sharpe: [Rallying the South Essex] I'm your colours. I Am.

Wellington: Your Regiment, Sharpe!
Richard Sharpe: Prince of... South Essex! ADVANCE!
[regiment walks off towards the French]
Richard Sharpe: South Essex Charge!

Doggett: [on the Prince of Orange] He did it again. How many more men will he kill? That's my commission gone to the blazes I dare say, but it had to be said.
Richard Sharpe: [choking with grief] Daniel Hagman... Harris... He won't kill anymore!
Patrick Harper: [to Doggett] Oh now you have caused trouble!
[rides after Sharpe]

Richard Sharpe: [has stumbled across Jane and Rossendale] You!
Jane Sharpe: Don't hurt me please!
Richard Sharpe: And you!
[grabs Rossendale]
Richard Sharpe: You dare to come! You dare to join! You dare to be in the same buggerin' army as me!
Richard Sharpe: [chases Rossendale until Rossendale trips and falls] Get up! Get up and fight!
[turns to the crowd]
Richard Sharpe: Somebody give him a sword!
[turns back to Rossendale]
Richard Sharpe: Do you have a friend?
Rossendale: [recognizing the duel challenge] No no no no no, please!
Richard Sharpe: Then give me the money, you can keep the whore you lilly-livered...
[feels the shame of being a cuckold, and draws his sword]
Richard Sharpe: No, by God I'll fillet you anyway!
Uxbridge: [intervenes] Enough!
[looks down at Rossendale]
Uxbridge: Get up.
Richard Sharpe: [does not move his sword] By God I'll fillet you also!
Uxbridge: You will not!
Harry Price: [mutters in Sharpe's ear] Richard, don't do it.
Richard Sharpe: [sighs in defeat] You tell him Harry.
Rossendale: [looking up, embarrassed] I fell, just fell.
Richard Sharpe: Tell him he can have the whore
[Jane stares at him in loathing]
Richard Sharpe: but I want my money.

Richard Sharpe: What do you want?
Paulette: More pay would be nice.

Harper: Do you still want to see Boney?
Sharpe: More than ever.Might ask him for a job.

Witherspoon: [taking out a notebook] What time?
Richard Sharpe: What?
Witherspoon: What time did it stop? The cannonade. I have it as ten minutes of midday, but the Duke likes it accurate, you see.
Richard Sharpe: What time is it now?
Witherspoon: Oh, uh...
[fumbles with his pocketwatch]
Witherspoon: Four minutes after midday, save a few...
Richard Sharpe: You'd best write down that they're coming, then.
Witherspoon: Coming?
Richard Sharpe: The French are advancing.
[Witherspoon looks into the woods, where a huge French column is advancing]
Witherspoon: Ah, so they are. Thank you, my dear fellow, I might have missed that.


Sharpe's Siege (1996) (TV)
[Anticipating battle, Harper hands Sharpe a cup of tea]
Sharpe: Thanks, Pat.
Harper: I was thinking. Things could be an awful lot worse, you know.
Sharpe: How the bloody hell could things get worse, Pat?
Harper: We could be without the cup of tea.

Catherine: The cellar. It is full of oyster shells. Burn them.
[walks away]
Sharpe: Oyster shells?

Harper: [Referring to a specific soldier] Sir, he's got the...
[whispers 'pox' in Sharpe's ear]
Sharpe: Pox! What are you whispering for Harper? I think I've seen plenty of pox in my time!

Sharpe: What happens when you burn oyster shells?
Capt. William Frederickson: You get ash I suppose.
Capt. Neil Palmer: I was born in a fishing village sir. The fishermen used to burn oyster shells all the time.
Sharpe: Why?
Capt. Neil Palmer: To whitewash their houses sir. When you burn oyster shells, you get lime. Get that in the eyes you go blind.

Catherine: If I were a soldier, I would have sworn an oath of loyalty to my Emperor!
Sharpe: I understand.
Catherine: But I am not a soldier.

Sharpe: You make your bed, Marquerre, and then you lie in it.Without complaining.Trouble with you is you wanted it every way.You wanted to be a spy for years, then you want to come back home, want everybody to gather round and say what a big hero you've been.The world's not like that, Marquerre.You made your bed with Bonaparte. Well, maybe he'll give you a medal.Maybe not.Me-next time you're in my sights and outside a flag of parlay, I'll shoot you.


Sharpe's Honour (1994) (TV)
Peter d'Alembourd: I've been speaking with some of the Spanish officers. The Marques is a very fine swordsman. He's been taking lessons in Paris from Ouellet!
Richard Sharpe: Well, he can take lessons in Spain from me.

La Marquesa: You saved my life.
Richard Sharpe: You tried to end mine.
La Marquesa: I've never met you.
Richard Sharpe: Well, do you hear that, Pat? She's never met me.
Patrick Harper: You're bleeding, sir. Don't move.
Richard Sharpe: What about my shameful suggestions?
La Marquesa: What?
Richard Sharpe: Oh, she's denying me now, Pat. After all we've been through.
Patrick Harper: I hear her, sir.
Richard Sharpe: You think she'd remember the man who got down on his knees, drunk mind you, and crawled on her floor begging Her Ladyship to sleep with her. Bugger!
Patrick Harper: I'd remember it.
Richard Sharpe: Aye! So would I. The man lost his honour because of the lady's lies. Stripped of his rank... hung on a rope.
La Marquesa: Who are you?
Richard Sharpe: You know who I am. My name is Sharpe.

Sharpe: Drunk again, Harper?
Harper: Oh, me too, sir.

El Matarife: You must count the ways of your death.
Sharpe: The dead don't count, El Matarife.

Sharpe: Bloody French on one side, partisans on the other... and we're stuck here with the woman who had me hung.
Harper: God does work in mysterious ways.

Major Vaughan: Do you have anything to say?
Richard Sharpe: Permission to die in my rifleman's jacket, sir?
Major Vaughan: Denied.


Sharpe's Gold (1995) (TV)
Patrick Harper: I had an uncle who thought the Faeries were after him.
Richard Sharpe: What happened to him?
Patrick Harper: Well, sir, they got him.

Patrick Harper: Well would you look at this.
[indicates the redcoats coming down the hill]
Richard Sharpe: Our absent friends.

Richard Sharpe: [Skillicorn has been caught by Ayres with a chicken] Look nobody lives here it's deserted!
Lt. Ayres: He's a looter.
[turns to his flunkies]
Lt. Ayres: Hang him!

Lt. Ayres: [drunkenly] She's a lady, which is why she's got a lady's gun. Which is a rifle!
[sneers]
Lt. Ayres: What about that, Major Rifleman Sharpe?
Richard Sharpe: You're drunk, Mr. Ayres.
Lt. Ayres: So should you be by now. And I stick by muskets!
Provost Marshal: [disapproving] Ayres!
Ellie Nugent: Back in Ireland, I go shooting quite a lot.
Lt. Ayres: With a lady's gun!

Major Mungo Munro: [about El Casco's guerrillas] The story goes, there was a great shipwreck hereabouts, long long ago. A galleon, bearing treasure from Mexico to the King of Spain. Not only gold, but idols for him to see, even people from that terrible land.
Richard Sharpe: Treasure?
Major Mungo Munro: Ah that catches your ear, laddie? Well if it's still there, no one's found it!
Bess Nugent: William heard of it too.
Ellie Nugent: You said a 'terrible land'?
Major Mungo Munro: The Aztecs of Mexico were a high civilization, and entirely evil!
Ellie Nugent: How could that be?
Lt. Ayres: Their religion was based on human sacrifice. They cut the living hearts out of their prisoners...
Major Mungo Munro: That'll do for now, man.
Lt. Ayres: ...thousands at a time. Or they skinned them.
Major Mungo Munro: I said that'll do!
Lt. Ayres: They even had a god of flaying...the flayed god...
Richard Sharpe: Stop gloating, Ayres!
Lt. Ayres: I came across it in my studies. Rather amusing.
Ellie Nugent: Major Munroe, you didn't mean there could be any of that here?
Major Mungo Munro: No. Well, maybe a taint turned into foolish nonsense, these folk are peasants.
Ellie Nugent: And that's all?


Sharpe's Battle (1995) (TV)
Loup: No more of my men will die in this god forsaken place.
Richard Sharpe: They will if I find them.

Loup: You have two of my men?
Richard Sharpe: Not for long.
Loup: Might I remind you, Major, of the rules of war?
Richard Sharpe: Raping women? Killing babies and young children? What you did here isn't war!
Loup: I police these mountains, Major, to protect our supply lines from guerillas. The chief weapon of the guerilla, Major, is horror. Horror! So, I make sure that I am more horrible than my enemy.

Richard Sharpe: [Harper has dragged out the two Frenchmen captured whilst raping women and killing children] Harper!
Patrick Harper: Sir!
Richard Sharpe: Put them up against the wall. I want a fireing squad ready.
[In responce, all of the riflemen and members of the South Essex form two lines as the squad]


Sharpe's Revenge (1997) (TV)
[after Harper tells him that Jane has left him for another man, Sharpe waits about thirty seconds, then runs into the house and kicks open - literally - Lucille's bedroom door]
Richard Sharpe: Begging your pardon, ma'am. Your door was locked.

Calvet: How do I divide the cheese, by merit or by rank?Who gets the biggest piece?
Sharpe: You do.
Calvet: Because I am a general.
Sharpe: No, because I bloody hate cheese.


Sharpe's Justice (1997) (TV)
Patrick Harper: [On hearing about Sharpe's new commission to Yorkshire] Sure... Who's there to fight in Yorkshire?
Richard Sharpe: Englishmen, I suppose.
Patrick Harper: It's not all bad news, then.