Jackson Stewart
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Quotes for
Jackson Stewart (Character)
from "Hannah Montana" (2006)

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"Hannah Montana: She's a Supersneak (#1.3)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: Miley, it's been 3 years. He might be lonely.
Miley Stewart: Well then we'll get him a puppy.

Jackson Stewart: Hey, isn't she that real estate lady? You know, the one on the bus bench in front of the library.
Lilly Truscott: Your dad's dating a homeless real estate lady? Whoaaa, that's weird. She sells houses, but she doesn't have one.
Jackson Stewart: I meant the ad on the bench, Miss Einstein.

Jackson Stewart: Hey, isn't she that real estate lady? You know, the one on the bus bench in front of the library.
Lilly Truscott: Your dad's dating a homeless real estate lady? Whoa, that's weird. She sells houses, but she doesn't have one.
Jackson Stewart: I meant the ad on the bench, Miss Einstein.

Jackson Stewart: [showing Miley his thoughts on talking to their dad's friend] Hi. I'm Miley Stewart and I'm her brother Jackson. Now we snuck out to the movies last night and saw you with our dad, now why would we tell you this? Out of some strange desire to get caught and be grounded for the rest of our natural lives.

Robbie Stewart: who knows? maybe it'll turn into a little somethin' somethin'.
Jackson Stewart: like what what?

Lilly Truscott: Well in California, we do do that here.
Miley Stewart: [Jackson and Cooper snicker] What?
Jackson Stewart: You said do-do.
Miley Stewart: Grow up!

Robbie Stewart: You should've seen it when I caught this fish! First it was him, then it was me, then it was him, then it was me
Jackson Stewart: Dad, you got that at the fish-mart.
Robbie Stewart: You should've seen the size of the lady who tried to take it from me! First it was her, then it was me, then it was her...

Jackson Stewart: "What can I say, Dad? She snuck out, I followed her here... I'm just as disappointed as you are."
Miley Stewart: What are you doing?
Jackson Stewart: What does it look like I'm doing? I'm getting ready to sell you out.
Miley Stewart: Listen, buster, if I go down, I'm taking you with me!

"Hannah Montana: Lilly, Do You Want to Know a Secret? (#1.1)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: What you see is what you get.
[strikes a rock star pose]

Jackson Stewart: Hey Hannah, I thought my little lady here could use a souvenir.
Hannah Montana: Jackson get out of here!
[throws a roll of toilet paper]
Jackson Stewart: For you. Told you we were tight.
[gives Miley/Hannah the evil eye]

Miley Stewart: Next time try something with sleeves and deodorant
[plugs her nose]
Jackson Stewart: If you got it flaunt it!

Fairmaine: I love you Hannah Montana!
Jackson Stewart: Do you mind? I am on the phone here, all right? I've got a life too you know. And I would appreciate it if I could have one conversation without hearing the words Hannah Montana.
[on the phone]
Jackson Stewart: Yeah, that's right girl, I know Hannah Montana!
[Hannah/Miley rolls her eyes]
Jackson Stewart: And I got two incredible tickets for tomorrow night, great we'll see you then!
[hangs up phone and turns to Hannah/Miley]
Jackson Stewart: I need two incredible seats for tomorrow night!
Hannah Montama: Sorry, I'm sold out!
Jackson Stewart: Dad!
Robbie Stewart: Hey think about it this way Miley, he goes out with the girl, they fall in love, they get married and he moves out.
Hannah Montama: [tosses her jacket on the couch turns to Robbie and Jackson and points both index fingers at them] You've got the tickets
Miley Stewart: [phone rings] Hello?
Lilly Truscott: [yelling] Hey it's me, landing in twenty seconds!
Miley Stewart: Great!
Miley Stewart: Lilly alert in 18 seconds!
[takes off wig and jacket grabs another jacket and puts it on]
Jackson Stewart: She's your best friend Miley, sooner or later your gonna have to tell her your Hannah Montana.
Miley Stewart: I pick later!
Robbie Stewart: 9 seconds, get the juice!
Miley Stewart: Got it!
Robbie Stewart: Good!
Robbie Stewart: 3!
Jackson Stewart: [opens the door] 2!
Miley Stewart: 1!
Lilly Truscott: Guess who just landed two tickets to the hottest concert in town! Miley, you and I, I being your best friend, are going to see, the one, the only, Hannah Montana! Woo!
[Miley's eyes double in size]
Lilly Truscott: You're not screaming, why aren't you screaming?
Jackson Stewart: Oh believe me, she's screaming on the inside.
[Robbie wraps his arm around Jackson's mouth]
Jackson Stewart: [Miley screams in her head]

Lilly Truscott: We do do that... what?
Jackson Stewart: You said, "do-do"!

Jackson Stewart: [trying on Hannah's outfit] I don't know. I think it makes me look a little big in the hips.
Fermine: Please. Let's not blame the dress.

Jackson Stewart: [Jackson enters wearing one of Hannah Montana's dresses] I'm not getting paid enough for this.
Miley Stewart: [Miley and Lily are both mortified as they look at Jackson] Neither am I.

"Hannah Montana: It's a Mannequin's World (#1.7)" (2006)
Cooper: I am going to tell you something nobody outside my family knows.
Jackson Stewart: You still drink Shirley Temples?
Cooper: [angry] They are fruity and refreshing!

Jackson Stewart: C'mon. There's a spare key out here somewhere.
Cooper: Okay. First, you dropped a cake. Then you lock yourself outside of the house with the new cake. I'm starting to think you got some cake issues.
Jackson Stewart: Less thinky. More looky. Alright?

Hannah Montana: [opening birthday gift] Sheepskin seat covers? You got me a present for your car?
Jackson Stewart: Hey when I drive you to the mall, I want you to be comfortable.
Jackson Stewart: For Christmas, I'm getting you chrome spinners!
Hannah Montana: Fine. And you're getting a black leather skirt with matching pumps. Mess. With. Me!

Cooper: What are you doing?
Jackson Stewart: What's it look like I'm doing? I'm baking the cake.
[reading recipe]
Jackson Stewart: Alright I got milk, flour and I'll add 3 eggs. Alright.
[takes 3 eggs and plops it into mixture]
Jackson Stewart: 1,2,3.
Cooper: Uh, Jackson?
Jackson Stewart: Shh! Now, stir. Alright.
[stirring aggressively]
Jackson Stewart: Stupid pelicans. Pelicans eat fish, not cake. Everybody knows that!
[picks up egg]
Jackson Stewart: Coop, I think there's something wrong here.
Cooper: You're supposed to break the eggs, fool.
Jackson Stewart: Totally makes sense.
[breaks two eggs with the shell in the mixture]
Jackson Stewart: Thank you!
Cooper: I cannot watch this anymore.

"Hannah Montana: New Kid in School (#1.14)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: My door! Wha-where's my door?
Robbie Stewart: Ok I-I know it looks bad but, it wasn't my fault! So, you want nuts with those brownies and some of those little sprinkly things?
[Runs away]
Jackson Stewart: Dang flabit! Robbie-Ray Stewart!
[Goes after him]

Jackson Stewart: Oooo! Wrestling and brownies? Who died?

Oliver Oken: Wow, your car makes Jackson's look like a piece of...
Jackson Stewart: [glares at him]
Oliver Oken: PIE... yummy, yummy pie

Jackson Stewart: [dressed up as Elvis] Who's at the door? Is it my extra-cheesy pizza? Uh-huh... huh!

"Hannah Montana: You're So Vain, You Probably Think This Zit Is About You (#1.13)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: Wait... I have money...

Jackson Stewart: Whoa. It worked. They are whiter.
Robbie Stewart: And lemon fresh.
Robbie Stewart: On the bright side, I'm just glad to see you are wearing clean underwear again.

Robbie Stewart: [to Miley] You're my special little girl.
Jackson Stewart: Well, what am I?
Robbie Stewart: Tina, my other little girl.

"Hannah Montana: I Am Hannah, Hear Me Croak (#2.5)" (2007)
Jackson Stewart: Hannah Montana has never canceled a concert before, and she not about to start now. I know that would just break your heart... and when your heart breaks, Baby Sis, so does mine.
Miley Stewart: [hands Robbie Ray the board]
Robbie Stewart: [reads] You got a hot date for the concert, don't ya, Jerkson?
Miley Stewart: [turns her head to Jackson]
Jackson Stewart: Dad?
Robbie Stewart: She wrote it.
[points to Miley]
Jackson Stewart: I can't believe you think I'm that selfish that I'll put my own...
Robbie Stewart: What's her name?
Jackson Stewart: Jenny, and she's a total babe.
Miley Stewart: [looks at Jackson, disgusted]
Jackson Stewart: So put a cork in it, Froggy. I got a lot riding on this.
Robbie Stewart: Uh uh uh... use the pad.
[hands her the board]
Miley Stewart: [hits Jackson With it]
Jackson Stewart: [rubs Arm]
Robbie Stewart: Couldn't have said it better myself.

Jackson Stewart: [buttering toast] You want some toast, I bet you do.
Robbie Stewart: Please add some jam and butter too.
Jackson Stewart: We're out of grape, so sad. It's all your fault, you bad dad.
Robbie Stewart: You know what, son?
Jackson Stewart: Yeah, dad?
Robbie Stewart: You got nerve!

Jackson Stewart: Besides, what do you think's gonna happen? Just as the surgery's about to start, a meteor hits a bus, the bus drives into a hot dog stand, a giant neon weiner flies into the power lines, the lights go off in the operating room and the next thing you know, you're spending the rest of your life singing like Aunt Pearl after she swallowed that kazoo, remember?
[Imitates kazoo]
Miley Stewart: Oh no! I'm not gonna be Hannah Montana again all because of a giant weiner!

"Hannah Montana: Mascot Love (#1.8)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: I had to get out of there fast because it was dark and there were all kinds of things biting me. I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up tomorrow with super-spidey powers!
[makes hands into web-shooters and pretends to be Spider-man]

Jackson Stewart: [talking to Oliver] Man, it was a little water and some unidentifiable sludge. Get a tetanus shot and buck up little camper.

Jackson Stewart: [singing in the tune of 'Pumpin Up The Party' and shaking his butt while trying to fix the sink] Hey/ Come on/ Get out/I'm sneaking out the pipes now/Hey/Come on...
Oliver Oken: Hey uh Jackson? Where's Miley?
Jackson Stewart: Don't know.
Oliver Oken: When's she gonna be back?
Jackson Stewart: Don't care.
Oliver Oken: Could you tell her I stopped by?
Jackson Stewart: Don't count on it.

"Hannah Montana: My Boyfriend's Jackson and There's Gonna Be Trouble (#1.21)" (2007)
Hannah Montana: Thanks for comein'! See Y'all next time!
[gets in limo]
Jackson Stewart: [follows hannah pushing through crowd] Take it easy people! she picks her nose just like everybody else! one nostrle at a time!
Hannah Montana: [shouts out window to fans] That is not true!
Jackson Stewart: [looks out at hannahs fans] Right... she has people do it for her!
[smiles and winds up window]
Hannah Montana: HEY! that was one time! my nails were wet and... Lilly offered!

Robbie Stewart: [pushes through paparazzi] CLEAR IT! OUT OF MY WAY! THIS IS MY HOUSE! GET BACK! HEY! why don't y'all go chase a crooked pollitician? at least he'll smile for ya!
[robbie smiles and twiddles his at to paparazzi then enters house]
Robbie Stewart: [robbie looks at miley and jackson] So! when exactly where you two gonna tell me you were dating?
Miley Stewart: come on dad it's not funny! it's horrible
[sits down]
Jackson Stewart: yeah how could anybody believe that i would go out with someone like her?
Miley Stewart: Jackson! it would be the luckiest day of your life if you got to date hannah montana and WHAT am i saying?

Jackson Stewart: [walking up to house after Hannah Montana concert] Hey Miley, Got your keys?
Hannah Montana: Who's taking care of who?
Jackson Stewart: Oh Yeah right. See ya!
[walks inside leaving Miley as Hannah outside]
Hannah Montana: Very funny Jackson. Open up!
[knocks on door]
Paulie the Paparazzo: Hey Hannah! I new if I followed you I would find out where you Lived!
[takes pictures of Hannah]
Hannah Montana: Live here? No I am just visiting a... friend
[Jackson opens the door; Hannah puts her arm around him]
Paulie the Paparazzo: Looks to me like a BOYFRIEND!
Jackson Stewart: A what?
[He and Hannah hurry inside while Paulie takes a picture of Jackson and Hannah]

"Hannah Montana: Oops! I Meddled Again (#1.11)" (2006)
[trying to help Oliver]
Jackson Stewart: Aw c'mon. Aren't you the one always going "Are you from Tennesee? Because you're the only ten I see."

Jackson Stewart: everybody dance everybody sing everybody have a chicken wing

Jackson Stewart: Are you from Tennesse? Cause you're the only ten I see.
Cooper: I got one. Are you from Mississippi? Cause you're the only miss I sippi!

"Hannah Montana: (We're So Sorry) Uncle Earl (#2.22)" (2008)
Jackson Stewart: [as Ozzy Osbourne] Listen... L - l - listen! Ehhh... listen...
Barney Bittman: I'm listening!
Jackson Stewart: ...well?
Barney Bittman: You didn't say anything!
Jackson Stewart: Oh... yes. Well... well, there's a party... at my house... come on!
Barney Bittman: But wait a minute! I have to review Hannah Montana!
Jackson Stewart: But Sharon's making guaca- guaca- guaca... very colorful stuff... very delicious...

Uncle Earl: Remember when I was the hot one?
Lilly Truscott: He was the hot one?
Jackson Stewart: No, it's true, Uncle Earl was the prom king and dad had the unibrow.
Robbie Stewart: Sexiest unibrow in Bruford county.

Robbie Stewart: What's the worst thing he could say?
Jackson Stewart: Well how about, Hannah Montana, what did that poor state ever do to you?

"Hannah Montana: Oh Say, Can You Remember the Words? (#1.10)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: [playing with chocolate bunnies] Oh here we are in Happy Bunny Land Tokyo. Oh no! What's that? It's Jackzilla! Run for your bunny lives!

Jackson Stewart: So it was sewage water and some unidentifiable sludge. Get a tetanus shot and buck up little camper.

Hannah Montana: The Movie (2009)
Hannah Montana: Maybe i should of remembered Grandma's birthday.
Jackson Stewart: I did.

Jackson Stewart: Ha ha suckers! I'm off to Tennessee Universe...
[falls out of truck]

"Hannah Montana: Me and Rico Down by the School Yard (#2.1)" (2007)
Miley Stewart: Hey bro!
Jackson Stewart: Junior.
[points to himself]
Jackson Stewart: Freshman.
[points to Miley]
Jackson Stewart: No bro, gotta go.

Miley Stewart: [as Hannah] I say we jump out of bed tomorrow and say, "Yeah! Yeah!"
Miley Stewart: [next morning, as Miley, not wanting to get out of bed] No! No! No!
Robbie Stewart: Come on, Miles! Don't make me get the water bucket!
Miley Stewart: You wouldn't!
Jackson Stewart: [shivering, soaking wet] Oh yes, he would!

"Hannah Montana: I Will Always Loathe You (#2.20)" (2007)
Lilly Truscott: [talking about Mamaw and Aunt Dolly's 30 year fight] So this whole feud started over a boy?
Miley Stewart: Yep. It was high-school. Mamaw was having a summer romance and then aunt dolly bounced in and, well that was pretty much all she had to do! Mamaw never forgave aunt dolly for stealing the love of her life. Mr Elvis Presley
Lilly Truscott: Noooo!
Miley Stewart: Yes!
Lilly Truscott: No!
Miley Stewart: Yes!
Lilly Truscott: No!
Jackson Stewart: [on the couch, trying to sleep] Yessss! Yes, yes, Elvis. Elvis with the pelvis and the hair and the hunka hunk of burning love. Guys I haven't slept all night and my back is killing me. So Please! For the love all that is good and pure in this forsaken universe, ZIP-IT!

Lilly Truscott: [entering with Popcorn] Jackson! I leave for two minutes and you switch to *wrestling*! Change it back to the Awards show!
Jackson Stewart: This *is* the Awards show!
[Lilly realizes Dolly and Nana are fighting on the awards show]
Lilly Truscott: Ooo. Now *that's* going to leave a mark! ... You're family is better than cable.
[Jackson nods]

"Hannah Montana: Bad Moose Rising (#1.26)" (2007)
Jackson Stewart: Ok, see, that's easy to say when you don't actually *have* a little sister
Miley Stewart: It's not my fault, I always wanted one
Jackson Stewart: Yeah, I always wanted a puppy but they brought you home insted

Donsig: [sneezes in Jackson's face] Your father gave me his back-of-the-woods cold
Donsig: Now look at me. I'm withering away to nothing
[opens shirt to reveal his big belly]
Jackson Stewart: Well, look on the bright side. You'll be able to see your toes by Christmas.

"Hannah Montana: People Who Use People (#1.18)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: When you need help its family helping family; but when I need help, suddenly Hannah doesn't play that game.
[stomps to the stairs, looks back]

Jackson Stewart: [after Ms. Kunkle walks out on her and Robbie Ray's date] Ms. Kunkle! Wait! You two make such a great
[holds up pear]
Jackson Stewart: pair! Turn around, I'm holding up a pear. It's punny.

"Hannah Montana: I Can't Make You Love Hannah If You Don't (#1.4)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: [trying on a pair of sun glasses] I am the Jackson-ater. These will not be back.

Lilly Truscott: You're in California now, and we do do that here.
[Jackson and Copper snicker]
Miley Stewart: What?
Jackson Stewart: You said said 'do-do!'
Miley Stewart: Grow up

"Hannah Montana: You Gotta Not Fight for Your Right to Party (#2.6)" (2007)
Jackson Stewart: Hi! I'm Miley, now I'm Hannah, now I'm Miley, I'm a real girl, I'm a popstar everybody makes mistakes, everybody has those days except for me Mliey cause I'm PERFECT!

"Hannah Montana: It's My Party and I'll Lie If I Want To (#1.5)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: [in a girlie voice] I had fun! Did you see that dreamy boy in the third row? WHOO!
Miley Stewart: We don't talk like that and he was in the second row!

"Hannah Montana: Ooh, Ooh, Itchy Woman (#1.9)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: [the rat, Linda, is playing the piano] Dad, you've got to get rid of it!
Robbie Stewart: You can't just kill a rat with that kind of talent. Hey Linda, do you know "Achey Breaky Heart"?

"Hannah Montana: We Are Family: Now Get Me Some Water! (#1.22)" (2007)
Jackson Stewart: [while playing video games] Watch out Grandma, I got the po po on my tail!

"Hannah Montana: Lilly's Mom Has Got It Goin' On (#2.19)" (2007)
Jackson Stewart: [walks down stairs] Finally, there gone. Dad, the next time you host a PTA meeting, you should do it out in the hot tub, so I can see Lilly's mom in a...
[turns around to see Lilly's mom]
Jackson Stewart: [Lilly's mom waves] in the kitchen
[waves back]
Jackson Stewart: hey Mrs.T,
[to his dad]
Jackson Stewart: warn a guy!
Miley Stewart: [to Lilly's mom] And he doesn't have a girlfriend... go figure

"Hannah Montana: Wherever I Go (#4.13)" (2011)
Jackson Stewart: Whats 2+2?
Rico: I think its 4, but it could be 3 with a wig on!

"Hannah Montana: Torn Between Two Hannahs (#1.17)" (2006)
Robbie Stewart: These decorations are meant to scare six year olds it is not like we're going to find something that scares us,
[Mr. Dontzig walks in]
Robbie Stewart: AHH!
Mr. Dontzig: Stewart someone shoved your magazines through my mailslot.
Robbie Stewart: That would be the mailman
Mr. Dontzig: What's with the Halloween decorations, or should I Halloweeny decoration, your winking santa was scarier than this. I was hoping that this year you would be a little compeition for me, but i was wrong.
Jackson Stewart: Dad are you going to get away with that.
Robbie Stewart: Don't worry about it son it is the holiday we are'nt going to get sucked into his little game.
Mr. Dontzig: Said the loser
Robbie Stewart: Don't go challenging me Dontzig.
Mr. Dontzig: Ooh, I'm a shakin'
Robbie Stewart: Well take it outside I don't have earthquake insurance.
Mr. Dontzig: Save the jokes Goldilocks, you are going to need a sense of humor when all the kids see how unscary your house is, and they start pelting it with eggs. HAAA!

"Hannah Montana: Bye Bye Ball (#2.21)" (2008)
[after many failed attempts to build a bookshelf, Jackson finds Robbie sitting by the barbecue]
Jackson Stewart: Hey Dad, how's the bookshelf going?
Robbie Stewart: Oh, it's really cooking now.
[Robbie throws a piece of the bookshelf on the barbecue]

"Hannah Montana: Miley, Get Your Gum (#1.2)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: It's MY car, I mean... I paid for it with my own money.
Robbie Stewart: Well, I'm proud of you son... exspeacilly the "with your own money' part.

"Hannah Montana: When You Wish You Were the Star (#2.12)" (2007)
Jackson Stewart: Me and my dolphin brothers don't care about no "Hann-e Montan-e"
Dolphin: Chirps
Jackson Stewart: Except for Dave, he loves you.
Dolphin: Chirps more
Jackson Stewart: Forget it Dave, you want an autograph, you come up here and ask for it yourself!

"Hannah Montana: Achey Jakey Heart: Part 1 (#2.9)" (2007)
Jackson Stewart: [to Rico, after he criticized his surf shop, saying IHOF, "international house of failure"] Well, maybe I will! But instead, I'll call it, International House of Reasonably Priced Water! And Fries! And... Stuff! IHORPWAFAS!
[Rico starts leaving]
Jackson Stewart: Yeah, yeah! Hear the name and tremble, Rico! IHORPWAFAS!

"Hannah Montana: Debt It Be (#1.20)" (2006)
Jackson Stewart: Why are you staring at me?
Robbie Stewart: It's fun.

"Hannah Montana: I Want You to Want Me... to Go to Florida (#2.13)" (2007)
Jackson Stewart: Or are you not ready to let go?
Robbie Ray Stewart: Excuse me?