Joe Dubois
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Quotes for
Joe Dubois (Character)
from "Medium" (2005)

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"Medium: In the Rough (#1.14)" (2005)
Allison Dubois: Let me ask you a question: is it completely hypocritical of me to be scared to death of the possibility of your mother living near us, while at the same time calling you at work to say do you think it would be okay if I left her with the kids for a little while, while I go to meet somebody in about half an hour?
Joe Dubois: Yes, it's completely hypocritical. And I think you should do it.

Mrs. Dubois: So Allison, tell me about your work.
Allison Dubois: Oh, I don't know, it's part time. I work for the District Attorney.
Mrs. Dubois: Sort of a paralegal thing?
Joe Dubois: There's definitely some 'para,' but I do believe there's some 'legal' in there too, so...

"Medium: Car Trouble (#4.14)" (2008)
Joe Dubois: [Having found Allison in the garage, just sitting behind the wheel of her car] What're you doing out here?
Allison Dubois: You're not gonna believe this but I had a crazy dream.
Joe Dubois: [deadpan] You don't say.

"Medium: Truth Be Told (#5.8)" (2009)
Bridgette Dubois: Daddy, we need to go to bed.
Joe Dubois: Okay.
Bridgette Dubois: But mummy isn't here and we need our kisses.
Joe Dubois: Okay.
Bridgette Dubois: Well, can you come over here and give them to us?
Joe Dubois: Oh, well, I kinda can't right now, sweety.
Bridgette Dubois: Well then, can we come over there and get them from you?
Joe Dubois: Not unless you can fly.
Marie Dubois: I could fly.
Bridgette Dubois: No you can't.

"Medium: Wicked Game: Part One (#4.9)" (2008)
Joe Dubois: I still have my pity party decorations, you wanna borrow some?

"Medium: The People in Your Neighborhood (#7.9)" (2010)
Allison Dubois: Hey, I know you. Didn't you use to be my husband? We used to do things together. Like, I don't know, go to community meetings about sex offenders who lived on our block.
Joe Dubois: You know? When you've gone to one sex offender meeting, you've been to them all.
Allison Dubois: [They kiss] Ugh, you smell like alcohol.
Joe Dubois: And you smell like Allison.
[Allison laughs]
Allison Dubois: [Joe tried to kiss her again, she puses him back] Have you been drinking?
Joe Dubois: [laughing slightly drunk] With my boss. We did some eating too, and a lot of talking. I think I'm his new crush.

"Medium: Better Off Dead (#3.9)" (2007)
Allison Dubois: Who's the old lady with the funny hat in the boat?
Joe Dubois: Oh no. You don't get to do that.

"Medium: I Married a Mind Reader (#1.11)" (2005)
Allison Dubois: So, how are the girls?
Joe Dubois: Happy, eating pizza
Allison Dubois: Pizza! What about my lasagne?
Joe Dubois: I'm just hazarding a guess here but, when you said 15 minutes, you meant the oven oven, right?, not the microwave

"Medium: Coded (#1.9)" (2005)
[Joe and Ariel are both trying to talk to Allison at once]
Ariel Dubois: This is completely unfair! I had her first, Dad.
Joe Dubois: No, point in fact, I had her first or else you wouldn't be here.

"Medium: The Reckoning (#2.10)" (2005)
Joe Dubois: Cockadoodle doo.
Allison Dubois: Cockadoodle who?
Joe Dubois: Nevermind, I take that back, it's way too early for this kind of talk. Do you know that it's barely five o'clock?

"Medium: Bring Me the Head of Oswaldo Castillo (#5.19)" (2009)
Dist. Atty. Manuel Devalos: Your wife's a hero, Joe.
Joe Dubois: I know that... I've always known that.

"Medium: Where Were You When...? (#7.6)" (2010)
Allison Dubois: Hey, is that says J. heart A.?
Joe Dubois: Is that what that says? Huh. I have no idea who'd done that.
Allison Dubois: You liar.
[Grabs his head lovingly]
Allison Dubois: Give me a kiss.
Joe Dubois: What if I don't?
Allison Dubois: Well, I might call the cops you little vandal.
Joe Dubois: I hate this. I hate the way you use me.
Allison Dubois: Oh, shut up and kiss.
[They kiss]
Allison Dubois: Mm. That was pretty good. I think you're safe for now.
Joe Dubois: Oh, thank godness cause I'm out of clean underwear and I hate the idea of going to the big house on dirty shorts.
[Allison laughs]
Joe Dubois: I hate what they've got to say about you.
Allison Dubois: You're always that romantic, Joe Dubois.

"Medium: A Person of Interest (#5.3)" (2009)
Joe Dubois: Changing your name so that people won't hold what your father did against you, is that a crime?

"Medium: When Push Comes to Shove: Part 2 (#2.1)" (2005)
Ariel Dubois: Daddy?
Joe Dubois: Yes?
Ariel Dubois: I don't understand. I'm in the sixth grade. Why am I going to bed the same time as a first grader?
Bridgette Dubois: Hey, it's not my fault I'm in first grade, I got born late!

"Medium: Wicked Game: Part Two (#4.10)" (2008)
Allison Dubois: Oh, I had a real nightmare, that Cynthia Keener had a nightmare.
Joe Dubois: Keener, what could possibly give that woman nightmares, other than somebody named Dorothy dropping a house on her?

"Medium: Penny for Your Thoughts (#1.15)" (2005)
Joe Dubois: So what about this sleeping thing... you game? You wanna give it a shot?

"Medium: A Couple of Choices (#1.3)" (2005)
Allison Dubois: Where is everybody?
Joe Dubois: Well let's see. Ariel is at Hannah's...
Joe Dubois: [after allison gives him confused look] oh, did i mention I'm taking you to mexico for your birthday?

"Medium: Suspicions and Certainties (#1.2)" (2005)
Allison Dubois: I don't wanna get up. You're right, I'm depressed.
Joe Dubois: You know what depression is? It's unchanneled anger.
Allison Dubois: Thank you. Thank you. Everything is different now. I'm still not getting up.

"Medium: Raising Cain (#2.13)" (2006)
Marie DuBois: [Allison dreams of teacher about to be shot by a student he cries out but instead of his voice Marie's comes out instead] MOMMY? MOMMY?
Marie DuBois: [Allison wakes up and still hears her daughter's voice] MOMMY/
Joe Dubois: What is it a bad dream?
Marie DuBois: [Marie climbs into their bed] Mommy
Joe Dubois: [on seeing his daughter in their bed] Oh my goodness this is a bad dream

"Medium: Too Close to Call (#2.8)" (2005)
Joe Dubois: Everything is physics.

"Medium: Whatever Possessed You (#3.16)" (2007)
[the family just finished having some cake to celebrate Joe getting put in charge of an important project]
Ariel Dubois: So let me get this straight. The reason we get to stay up an extra half hour and eat cake is because Daddy got put in charge of some really cool project.
Joe Dubois: [Still eating cake] That is correct.
Ariel Dubois: Only you can't tell us about this really cool project because it's top secret.
Joe Dubois: That is also correct.
Ariel Dubois: [Excited] Can we at least have a hint?
[Joe motions that his lips are locked and the key is thrown away, meaning he won't tell]
Allison Dubois: Okay, on that note, come on, you little security risks. It's time to hit the hay. Joe, you got Bridge?
Joe Dubois: Yes.
[Reaches for Bridgette, waking her up]
Joe Dubois: Come on, kiddo. Time for bed.
Bridgette Dubois: [Sleepily] But I don't want to go to bed. I like staying up late.
Joe Dubois: Really? You got a funny way of showing it.
Bridgette Dubois: Congratulations again, Daddy. If you can't get that ship up to Mars, nobody can.