Pinocchio
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Quotes for
Pinocchio (Character)
from Pinocchio (1940)

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Pinocchio (1940)
Jiminy Cricket: [guietly] Toodle-oo, Stromboli.
Pinocchio: Goodbye, Mr Stromb...
Jiminy Cricket: Shhh! Quiet! Let's get out of here before something else happens.

Lampwick: [picks up Jiminy] Hey, who's the beetle?
Jiminy Cricket: Let go! Put me down!
Pinocchio: He's my conscience. He tells me what's right and wrong.
Lampwick: What? You mean to tell me you take orders from a grasshopper?
Jiminy Cricket: Grasshopper? Look here, you - you impudent young pup! It wouldn't hurt you to take orders from your grasshop - er, your conscience, if you have one!

Geppetto: [waking up to a loud crashing noise] Who's there?
Pinocchio: It's me.
Geppetto: [relieved] Oh, it's me.
[starts to lie back down, then suddenly sits up boltright]
Geppetto: Huh? Shhh! Figaro, there's somebody in here!

Pinocchio: [having been 'fished' up into the boat by Geppetto] Hey, Father! Father!
Geppetto: Don't bother me now, Pinocchio!
[then he realizes]
Geppetto: What? Pinocchio?
Pinocchio: Father!
Geppetto: Pinocchio!

Pinocchio: Father, whatcha crying for?
[Geppetto hears him, but his mind doesn't get the message]
Geppetto: Because... you're dead, Pinocchio.
Pinocchio: No! No, I'm not.
Geppetto: Yes. Yes, you are. Now, lie down...
Pinocchio: But father, I'm alive. See?
[Looks at himself]
Pinocchio: And... and I'm... I'm real. I'm a real boy!
[THAT makes Geppetto look up]
Geppetto: You're alive! And... and you are a real boy!

Lampwick: Huh! To hear that beetle talk you'd think somethin' was gonna happen to us.
[Donkey ears pop out of Lampwick's head; Pinocchio's eyes widen]
Lampwick: Conscience! Aw, phooey!
[a tail pops out of the seat of Lampwick's pants; Pinocchio puts down the cigar he has been smoking]
Lampwick: Wheres he get that stuff? "How do you ever expect to be a real boy?" What's he think I look like?
[Now his head is that of a donkey]
Lampwick: A jackass?
Pinocchio: You sure do! Ha-ha, Hee-haw!
Lampwick: [as Pinocchio covers his mouth shocked] Hey, you laugh like a donkey. Ha-ha Hee-haw!
[gasps]
Lampwick: Did that come outta me?
[Pinocchio nods; Lampwick starts feeling his face and notices the changes]
Lampwick: Oh!
[He raises his arms a little higher and notices his ears]
Lampwick: Huh? What the...
[noticing his tail]
Lampwick: What's going on?
[He looks in the mirror and sees that he is turning into a donkey]
Lampwick: AAAAHH! I've been double-crossed! Help! Help! Somebody, help! I've been framed! Help!
[Gets down on his knees and begs Pinocchio for help]
Lampwick: Please, you gotta help me. Be a pal! Call that beetle. Call anybody!
[Lampwick's hands turn into hooves]
Lampwick: Mama! Maaaaaaaaaamaaaaaaaaaaa! Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw! Hee-haw!

Pinocchio: I'd rather be smart than be an actor.

Geppetto: [Inside Monstro the whale] Get out? Oh, no, no, son. I have tried every way. Why, I even built a raft.
Pinocchio: [noticing it] A raft? That's it! We'll take the raft. And when the whale opens his mouth...
Geppetto: No, no, no, no. Now listen, son. He only opens his mouth when he's eating. Then everything comes in; nothing goes out.
Pinocchio: Oh.
Geppetto: It's hopeless, Pinocchio. Come, we'll make a nice fire and we cook some of the fish.
Pinocchio: A fire? That's it!
Geppetto: Yes, and then we'll all eat again.
Pinocchio: A great big fire; lots of smoke!
Geppetto: Smoke? Oh, yes, sure. Smoked fish will taste good.
Pinocchio: Quick, some wood!
[grabs some pieces of wood and a wooden chair and places the wood in Geppetto's arms]
Geppetto: Pinocchio, not the chair!
Geppetto: Hurry, Father, more wood!
[smashes the chair over a wooden barrel while Geppetto adds the wood pieces]
Geppetto: But what'll we sit on?
Pinocchio: We won't need it. We're getting out!
[Grabs a lit lantern and smashes it over the pile of wood, causing a fire to start. He then adds a blanket to create smoke then promptly starts blowing and fanning on the smoke to force it up. The smoke curls upward toward the top of Monstro]
Geppetto: Getting out? But how?
Pinocchio: We'll make him sneeze!
Geppetto: Make him sneeze? Oh, that will make him mad!

Jiminy Cricket: [pointing to Honest John] Remember what I said about temptations? That's him.
Pinocchio: Oh, no, Jiminy. That's Mr. Honest John.
Jiminy Cricket: [shocked] Honest John?

Stromboli: [shuts Pinocchio up in a cage] There! This will be your home - where I can find you always!
Pinocchio: No, no, no!
Stromboli: Yes, yes, yes! To me, you are a belonging. We will tour the world: Paris, London, Monte Carlo, Constantinopolee.
Pinocchio: No, no!
Stromboli: [bangs his fist on the table] YES! We start TONIGHT!
[stuffs money into a bag]
Stromboli: You will make lots of money...
[stuffs the bag into his cummerbund]
Stromboli: For me!
[picks up a hatchet]
Stromboli: And when you are growing too old, you will make good firewood!
[throws the hatchet into a stack of firewood that also contains a worn-out puppet]
Stromboli: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!
Pinocchio: Let me out of here! I'm gonna get out! You can't keep me...!
Stromboli: QUIET! Shut up before I *knock* you silly!
[blows a kiss]
Stromboli: Good night, my little wooden goldmine! Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Geppetto: Now close your eyes and go to sleep.
Pinocchio: Why?
Geppetto: Everybody has to sleep. Figaro goes to sleep - and Cleo - and besides, tomorrow, you've got to go to school.
Pinocchio: Why?
Geppetto: Oh, to learn things and get smart.
Pinocchio: Why?
Geppetto: [starts to fall asleep] Because.
Pinocchio: Oh.

[Pinocchio, having heard that Geppetto is alive after being swallowed by Monstro, makes the bold decision to save him and takes off]
Jiminy Cricket: Hey, where ya goin'?
Pinocchio: I'm going to find him!
Jiminy Cricket: [following after Pinocchio] But Pinocch, are you crazy? Don't you realize he's in a whale?
Pinocchio: I've *gotta* go to him!
Jiminy Cricket: [following after] Hey, Pinocch! Wait! Listen here, son!
[Pinocchio just keeps going straight to a high cliff overlooking the ocean, Jiminy following all the way]
Jiminy Cricket: But this Monstro, I've heard of him; he's a whale of a whale!
[Pinocchio starts tying a rock to his donkey tail]
Jiminy Cricket: Why, he swallows whole ships alive!
[Hhelps tie Pinocchio's tail to the rock completely]
Jiminy Cricket: Tie it good and tight now. And besides, it's dangerous! Why, I...
Pinocchio: Good-bye, Jiminy.
Jiminy Cricket: Good-bye? I may be live bait down there, but I'm with ya!

The Blue Fairy: You must learn to choose between right and wrong.
Pinocchio: Right and wrong? But how will I know?
Jiminy Cricket: [watching] How'll he know!
The Blue Fairy: [to Pinocchio] Your conscience will tell you.
Pinocchio: What's a conscience?
Jiminy Cricket: What's a conscience! I'll tell ya! A conscience is that still small voice that people won't listen to. That's just the trouble with the world today...
Pinocchio: Are you my conscience?
Jiminy Cricket: Who, me?

Geppetto: Oh, Pinocchio! How did you get down here?
Pinocchio: I fell down.
Geppetto: Oh, you did... Oh! You are talking!
Pinocchio: Uh-huh.
Geppetto: No! No. no, no!
Pinocchio: Yes, and I can move too.
Geppetto: No, no, you can't! I'm dreaming in my sleep! Oh, wake me up! Wake me up!
[pours a pitcher of water over his head]
Geppetto: Now we see who's dreaming. Go on, say something.
Pinocchio: ...Gee, you're funny. Do it again!
Geppetto: You *do* talk!
Pinocchio: Yes! The Blue Fairy came.
Geppetto: The Blue Fairy?
Pinocchio: Uh-huh, and I got a conscience.
Geppetto: A conscience?
[Jiminy proudly points to himself]
Pinocchio: And someday, I'm gonna be a real boy!
Geppetto: A real boy! It's my wish! It's come true!

Foulfellow: [Picks up Pinocchio's schoolbook and apple, which he eats] Well, well. Quite the scholar, I see. Look, Giddy. A man of letters. Here's your book
[hands book to Pinocchio]
Pinocchio: I'm going to school.
Foulfellow: School. Ah, yes. Then perhaps you haven't heard of the easy road to success.
Pinocchio: Uh-uh.
Foulfellow: No? I'm speaking, my boy, of the theater! Here's your apple.
[Hands Pinocchio the apple, eaten down to the core]
Foulfellow: Bright lights, music, applause! Fame!
[Wiggles eyebrows]
Pinocchio: Fame?
[Wiggles eyebrows too]
Foulfellow: Yes! And with that personality, that profile, that physique... why, he's a natural-born actor, eh, Giddy?
Pinocchio: But I'm going...
Foulfellow: ...straight to the top! Why, I can see your name in lights, lights six feet high! Uh... what is your name?
Pinocchio: Pinocchio.
Foulfellow: Pinocchio! P-I-N... er, U-O... Uh, er...
[chuckles]
Foulfellow: We're wasting precious time. Come. On to the theater!

Jiminy Cricket: Now, you see, the world is full of temptations.
Pinocchio: Temptations?
Jiminy Cricket: Yep, temptations. They're the wrong things that seem right at the time... but... uh... even though the right things may seem wrong sometimes, or sometimes the wrong things...
[chuckles]
Jiminy Cricket: may be right at the wrong time, or visa versa.
Jiminy Cricket: [clears throat] Understand?
Pinocchio: [Shakes his head] Uh-uh. But I'm gonna do right.
Jiminy Cricket: Atta boy, Pinoke! And I'm gonna help ya.

Pinocchio: [of Lampwick] Don't hurt him, Jiminy. He's my best friend.
Jiminy Cricket: [outraged] Your *best friend*? And what am *I*? Just your conscience? Okay! That settles it!

Pinocchio: [looking for Geppetto, who has been swallowed by Monstro the whale] Father!
Jiminy Cricket: Father! Huh? He ain't *my* father. Uh, Mr. Geppetto!

Jiminy Cricket: All right, then, here's what we'll tell 'em. You can't go to the theater. Say thank you just the same - you're sorry, but you've got to go to school.
Pinocchio: Mmm-hmm.
Foulfellow: Pinocchio! Oh, Pinocchio! Woo-hoo!
Jiminy Cricket: Here they come, Pinoke. Now, you tell 'em.
Foulfellow: Woo hoo! Oh, little boy! Ah, there you are. Where were we? Ah, yes. On to the theater!
Pinocchio: Good-bye, Jiminy! Good-bye!
Jiminy Cricket: Good-bye? Huh? Good-bye?
[Sees Pinocchio going off with Foulfellow and Gideon]
Jiminy Cricket: Hey, Pinoke! You can't go...! There he goes. What'll I do? I'll run and tell his father. No, that'd be snitching. I'll go after him myself.

Foulfellow: [he and Gideon have "diagnosed" Pinocchio's "condition"] My boy, you are *allergic.*
Pinocchio: Allergic?
Foulfellow: Yes, and there is only one cure: a vacation on Pleasure Island!
Pinocchio: Pleasure Island?
Foulfellow: Yes!
[ge and Gideon dance]
Foulfellow: That happy land of carefree boys, where every day's a holiday!
Pinocchio: [leaving] But I can't go. I...
Foulfellow: [he and Gideon stop him] Why, of course you can go. I'm giving you my ticket.
[he produces an ace of spades card and gives it to Pinocchio]
Foulfellow: Here.
Pinocchio: Thanks. But I...
Foulfellow: No, tut-tut-tut, I insist: your health comes first.
[he and Gideon grab Pinocchio and escort him away]
Foulfellow: Come, the coach departs at midnight!
[he sings the Pleasure Island rendition of "Hi-Diddle-Dee-Dee" as they escort Pinocchio away]

Geppetto: Say hello to Figaro.
Pinocchio: Hello to Figaro.

The Blue Fairy: Little puppet made of pine, awake. The gift of life is thine.
[She touches her wand to Pinocchio who wakes and begins to move]
Jiminy Cricket: Whew! What they can't do these days!
Pinocchio: I can move!
[covers his mouth]
Pinocchio: I can talk!
[stands as the Blue Fairy chuckles]
Pinocchio: I can walk!
[falls back down clumsily]
The Blue Fairy: Yes, Pinocchio. I've given you life.
Pinocchio: Why?
The Blue Fairy: Because tonight, Geppetto wished for a real boy.
Pinocchio: Am I a real boy?
The Blue Fairy: No, Pinocchio. To make Geppetto's wish come true will be entirely up to you.
Pinocchio: Up to me?
The Blue Fairy: Prove yourself brave, truthful and unselfish, and someday you *will* be a real boy.

The Blue Fairy: Pinocchio, why didn't you go to school?
Jiminy Cricket: [Pinocchio looks up at him] Go ahead. Tell her.
Pinocchio: I was going to school 'til I met somebody.
The Blue Fairy: Met somebody?
Pinocchio: Yeah, two big monsters, with big green eyes!
[His nose grows a little]
Pinocchio: Why, I...
The Blue Fairy: Monsters? Weren't you afraid?
Pinocchio: No, ma'am, but they tied me in a big sack.
[His nose grows a little more and sprouts leaves]
The Blue Fairy: You don't say? And where was Sir Jiminy?
Pinocchio: Huh? Oh, Jiminy?
Pinocchio: [Jumps in front of Pinocchio] Psst! Leave me out of this.
Pinocchio: They put him in a little sack.
[His nose grows even more, taking Jiminy along with it]
The Blue Fairy: No!
Pinocchio: Yeah!
[His nose sprouts flowers]
The Blue Fairy: How did you escape?
Pinocchio: I didn't - they chopped me into firewood!
[His nose grows again, and a nest with baby birds sprouts at the end of it]
Pinocchio: Oh, look! My nose! What's happened?
The Blue Fairy: Perhaps you haven't been telling the truth, Pinocchio.
Jiminy Cricket: Perhaps?
Pinocchio: Oh, but I have! Every single word!
[the branch with the nest on his nose whithers, and the birds fly away, whistling]


"Once Upon a Time: The Stranger (#1.20)" (2012)
August W. Booth: We're going on a trip, Emma, so I can tell you somebody's story.
Emma Swan: Whose story?
August W. Booth: Mine.

August W. Booth: Align the gear on the spindle, then press the spring.

August W. Booth: You've been here before. This is the diner you were brought to when you were found as a baby.
Emma Swan: So you found an article about me. So what? I thought this trip was supposed to be about you.
August W. Booth: It is. This is my story. And it's your story.
Emma Swan: And how is that?
August W. Booth: That seven-year-old boy who found you? That was me.

Emma Swan: Let's say you were that kid. Why lie about where you found me?
August W. Booth: I lied to protect you.
Emma Swan: From what?
August W. Booth: That.
Emma Swan: A tree?
August W. Booth: You've read Henry's book, right? You know about the curse, don't you? Your role in it? It's true, Emma. We both came into this world... through this tree.

Emma Swan: Why not write the end to that story?
August W. Booth: Because this is the ending. And we're writing it right now.
Emma Swan: And how does this story end?
August W. Booth: With you believing.

August W. Booth: Come on, take a leap of faith. You come with me and I promise you, you'll find exactly what you're looking for.
Emma Swan: My kid needs me. I don't have time for faith.

August W. Booth: [referring to Emma] I can get her there, to believing. Trust me.
Mr. Gold: [laughs] Ah. I'm sorry, it's just that, knowing who you are, and your nature... trust is a big ask.

Emma Swan: You're asking me to believe that you are a fairy tale character?
August W. Booth: Pinocchio.
Emma Swan: Right. Of course, Pinocchio. Explains all the lying.

August W. Booth: I'm *not* screwing around here. Whatever you believe, or don't, this is real, Emma. I am sick!
Emma Swan: That's an understatement.

August W. Booth: You don't wanna believe. After everything you've seen, why can't you just do it?
Emma Swan: Why is it so important to you that I do?
August W. Booth: Because I, the town, everyone, needs you!
Emma Swan: I don't want them to need me!
August W. Booth: Well, that's too bad, because we all do.
Emma Swan: You're saying that I am responsible for everyone's happiness? That is crap! I didn't ask for that! I don't want it!

August W. Booth: You're our only hope.
Emma Swan: Then you're all screwed.

[August has helped Geppetto fix a cuckoo clock]
Geppetto: Who taught you that?
August W. Booth: My father.
Geppetto: He taught you well. He must be very proud.
August W. Booth: I don't know about that. I don't think I became the man he wanted me to be.
Geppetto: Well, have you tried to make it up to him?
August W. Booth: I made him a promise - a long time ago. By the time I got around to making good on it, I think it was too late.
Geppetto: But you kept your promise. You realized your mistake and you tried to fix it. That's important. If I had a son, that would be enough for me.

August W. Booth: How would you feel about... taking on an assistant?
Geppetto: I can't pay you.
August W. Booth: That's OK. I just feel like fixing things.

August W. Booth: You ever been to Phuket? It's beautiful. Amazing island. Full of pleasures, the perfect place to lose oneself. That's where I was, when you decided to stay in Storybrooke.
Emma Swan: How do you know when I decided to stay in Storybrooke?
August W. Booth: Because at 8:15 in the morning, I woke up with a shooting pain in my leg. That's 8:15 at night in Storybrooke. Sound familiar? That's when time there started to move forward again. I was supposed to be there for you, and I wasn't. Because I was halfway around the world, I got a painful reminder just how far I'd strayed. If that tree won't make you believe, maybe this will.
[August pulls up his pant leg; he sees a wooden leg, but Emma just sees a normal leg]
Emma Swan: How does that prove anything?
August W. Booth: Look.
Emma Swan: August, I'm looking.
August W. Booth: You don't see it, do you?
Emma Swan: See what?
August W. Booth: Your denial is more powerful than I thought. It's preventing you from seeing truth.
Emma Swan: Okay, one of us is losing it here. And it's not me.

Pinocchio: I'm... a real boy... I'm a real boy!

Pinocchio: I don't understand, Father, she said...
Geppetto: I don't care what she said. All that matters is you are safe.
Pinocchio: But you told me to be honest, Father. You told me not to lie.
Geppetto: Sometimes we have to lie to protect the people we love.


Pinocchio (1976) (TV)
Pinocchio: You sold your coat to buy me a spelling book.

Geppetto: Who's-a you?
Pinocchio: Hey, who's-a you?
Geppetto: I'm, I'm-a Geppetto.
Pinocchio: I'm, I'm-a Geppetto.
Geppetto: You, Pinocchio?
Pinocchio: Pinocchio?
Geppetto: You look like a puppet. You feel like a puppet. Ma, you no behave like a puppet!

Geppetto: It's a alphabet book.
Pinocchio: How does it end?
Geppetto: Ends with a Z.
Pinocchio: With a Z?
[sneers]
Pinocchio: I don't think I'll like it.

Pinocchio: How much did that book cost?
Geppetto: That's none of you business.
Pinocchio: Papa how did you pay for that book?
Geppetto: I no answer those questions.
Pinocchio: Papa, did you sell something?
Geppetto: I no sell anything!
Pinocchio: Where's your coat?
Geppetto: I sold something.

Pinocchio: I'm-a pleased to make-a you acquaintance!
Candlewick: Huh?
Pinocchio: My papa taught me to say that!
Candlewick: You talk as funny as you look!

Boris Stroganoff: [tying Pinocchio up] Everything in life has strings attached to it.
Pinocchio: Especially puppets.
Boris Stroganoff: Especially puppets... Just a minute! I got sensational idea! You know what's going to happen? I have idea that will absolutely knock audience for cuckoo! You will come out like regular puppet, eh? And I will bring you out on the stage. You will be singing, dancing, yes?
Pinocchio: Yes.
Boris Stroganoff: I say magic words
[yells in Russian]
Boris Stroganoff: And then strings fall away! You dance and sing on your own. People will yell "Bravo, Stroganoff!" Absolutely fantastic, eh?

Pinocchio: If you don't mind Mr. Stroganoff, for my performance today, I'll just take half of these gold coins to bring home to Papa. What's half of twenty-eight?
Boris Stroganoff: Five!

Fox: How would you like to bring home to your papa, not five, not fifty, but a thousand shiny gold coins?
Pinocchio: Is that more than five? I haven't learned arithmetic yet.
Fox: It's more than five. It's even more than two!

Pinocchio: Rich is good?
Fox: Rich is always good.
Cat: Poor is always bad.
Pinocchio: Isn't there anything in between?
Fox: Yes, aggravation.

Pinocchio: I've learned my lesson and the lesson I've learned is learning my lessons comes first!

Coachman: We're going to the Island of Yum Yum! It's a rather catchy name, don't you think? It's where little boys have fun. Fun fun fun. Sound like fun?
Boys: YEAH!
Coachman: Stay up late, eat all you want, play games, break windows, run wild, yell, scream, don't you love it?
Boys: YEAH!
Pinocchio: And there's no school?
Coachman: No, no! Well, actually, we do have school. But only on Wednesday, and you see, we have no Wednesday!
Boys: YEAH!
Coachman: In our week, there are only three days: Sunday, Monday, and Funday, and Funday lasts for five days! Then, we rest a bit on Sunday, and the only reason we have Monday is it gives us Funday to look forward to!

Candlewick: Aw, c'mon Pinocchio, we'll have a lot of fun!
Boys: YEAH!
Coachman: Now chaps, chaps, don't confuse the puppet. After all, the Island of Yum Yum is only for *real* boys anyway.
Pinocchio: I do so want to be a real boy and do what real boys do.
Coachman: Oh, then come! Do come, do come to the Island of Yum Yum.

Boris Stroganoff: You're going to be a sensation! With you as my star singing and dancing, cavorting...
Pinocchio: How can I cavort with a broken heart?
Boris Stroganoff: You'd like better a broken arm?
Pinocchio: No.

Candlewick: Here! Have a chew on this tobacco.
Pinocchio: What is it? Does it taste like candy?
Candlewick: Oh yeah! Just like candy! All the big boys chew it.
Pinocchio: Then I'll chew it too!
[takes a bite and starts coughing]
Pinocchio: It's bitter! It burns!
Candlewick: Here, have a taste of this wine, that'll get the fire out!
[Pinocchio drinks and violently coughs]

Coachman: Where do you think you're going?
Pinocchio: I'm getting out of here!
Coachman: Oh no you're not, little wooden-head. I'm selling you to a circus!

Pinocchio: [singing] Here I am, out of breath again, wondering which way to turn. Here I am, scared to death again, wondering when will I learn. When will I learn? If I could start all over, would I be as blindly trusting? Would I remain naive, and ready to believe? If I could start all over, could I be sure which road to travel? Would I be thinking twice, or taking bad advice? Would I for once be loving, and helpful, and good? And would my head be thoughtful, and not made of wood? If there were second chances, would I believe the one who loves me, or would I turn away, not hearing what he'd say? Would I be smart if I could start again? Would I make one heart lighter? Or make a moment brighter? Would I be smart if I could start again?


The Adventures of Pinocchio (1996)
Pinocchio: Miracles are made in the heart papa.

Pinocchio: [to Gepetto] How about carving me a girlfriend?

Pinocchio: [riding The Big One; thinking] A real boy. I'm a real boy. I'm a real boy!

Lampwick: [to Pinocchio] Hey, Woody, you ever get termites?
Pinocchio: What are termites?
Saleo: They're bugs.
Pinocchio: I like bugs.
Lampwick: Not these kind, you don't.
Saleo: They eat wood like you.
[he kicks Pinocchio in the leg]

Pepe: [to Pinocchio] Say, do you always squish someone before being formally introduced?
Pinocchio: Are... Are you a termite?
Pepe: Oh, puh-lease!
Pinocchio: So you're not gonna eat me?
Pepe: Thanks for the offer, but I'm on a low-wood diet. Let me introduce myself. The name is... Pugnacio Elecuzio P. Elegante. Gimme a "P", an "E", a "P", an "E", put 'em all together and call me... Pepe!
Pinocchio: Pepe?
Pepe: You don't like it?
Pinocchio: It's okay.
Pepe: I'm very sensitive, you know.
Pinocchio: No, it's... it's fine.
Pepe: We can't all be called Pinocchio.

Pinocchio: [Pinocchio is in the forest] Smell that pine.
Pepe: You know, they ought to bottle that scent so you can spray it around your house.

Pinocchio: [in the forest] This is where I belong.
Pepe: You know, I prefer the beach myself, but property there is so expensive.


Scared Shrekless (2010) (TV)
Pinocchio: [hanging by his string, Shrek closes curtain on him] Hey! I worked hard on this costume!

Shrek: Buckle up, everybody. The quicker I scare the wits out of you, the sooner I can be home, cozy in my bed. Unless anyone else thinks they've got what it takes.
Pinocchio: Oh! Oh! Pick me, pick me! I have a scary story!
Wolf: This isn't the one about you getting trapped in the petting zoo again, is it? 'Cause that's not scary.
Pinocchio: Actually, if you look at it with *my* perspective...
Gingerbread Man: Hey, guess what, Pinocchio, no one cares! Get ready to send these jokers home, Shrek, 'cause I've got a doozy, and it's all true! Ahem. It was a dark and stormy night...

Pinocchio: Eww! I'm too young to have termites!
The Cricket: I'm no termite, Pinocchio. I'm a cricket.
Pinocchio: You were the voice in my head this whole time?
The Cricket: That's right. I'm was the one putting all those those thoughts in your noggin. I'm your conscience, and as long as I as you let me, I'll always be in...
[Pinocchio squashes him]
Shrek: The end.
Pinocchio: That wasn't me! I never had any bugs in my head. Ha ha. Ask anyone!
Shrek: Okay, then. Why don't we ask start by asking your conscience!
[shows Pinocchio a cricket in his hand]

Pinocchio: [possessed] When you wish upon a star, you get lots of stuff!

[to Gepetto]
Shrek: Do I look like the kind of guy that knows a lullaby?
Pinocchio: SING!

Shrek: [to Gepetto] Do I look like the kind of guy that knows a lullaby?
Pinocchio: SING!


"Once Upon a Time: Selfless, Brave and True (#2.18)" (2013)
Isra: [in Thai] What the hell is wrong with you?
August W. Booth: I'm turning into wood.

The Dragon: Tell me. Why have you come?
August W. Booth: [pulls up his right pant leg] You see that?
The Dragon: No. Because the problem is with your other leg.
[August chuckles and pulls up his left pant leg]
The Dragon: You're turning to wood... Pinocchio.

Tamara: To second chances.
August W. Booth: Who knew they'd be so expensive?

August W. Booth: I was hoping... That's my problem. Hoping. Hoping that things can still work out. Hoping that I can find redemption for the mistakes that I made. But maybe some things you just don't come back from.

Tamara: You should've left. I counted on you to want to save yourself.
August W. Booth: Maybe that's what I'm trying to do. I've lived a life of selfishness, cowardice and dishonesty. And only I can cure that. Not magic, not science, just me.


Pinocchio (1992) (V)
Fox: My boy, Pinocchio! Come here, hurry!
Fox: [to the cat] It's old Wood-legs.
Pinocchio: Oh boy, you two must have done something really bad.
Fox: Oh, no, no, no! Not we! Of course we did nothing wrong! Why, they picked up the wrong fellows.
Cat: Yeah. Now, how about you tell that nice policeman that you like, know us, Pinocchio, buddy? Maybe he'll let us... scram.
Policeman: Right! What's all this then, you know these two?
Pinocchio: Yeah. Yes, I do.
Policeman: And how is it that a nice hardworking kid like you would know a couple of bums like these two?
Pinocchio: Well, I...
Pinocchio: [to the fox and the cat] Do you want me to tell the truth?
Fox: Oh yes! Always tell the truth, Pinocchio.
Cat: Oh yeah, the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, little buddy.
Pinocchio: [looks at Cricket, who nods] These two took my money!
Policeman: That's what I figured. Well boys, that's gonna add a little more time to your sentence.
Policeman: [to his horses] Aye, giddy up there!
Fox: Urgh, not that truth, you little wooden-headed netwit!
Cat: Oh, no, no, no, man. The other truth, tell him the other truth.
Cat: [to the fox] Hey, hey! Give me a little clue here. What was that other truth?

Swallow: Pinocchio, the Blue Fairy is very sick. I'm afraid... she's dying.
Pinocchio: Where is she?
Swallow: Oh, a long way from here. She saw you get swallowed by the whale and she thought you were gone forever. I'm afraid it broke her heart.
Pinocchio: [handing out some coins] Here, take these. It's not very much but it's all that I have.
Swallow: Ooh, thank you, Pinocchio. The Blue Fairy won't forget you for this.

Candlewick: So, Pinoc, what d'ya think? What say we take a few more spins around, huh?
Pinocchio: No, I think a hundred turns on the Ferris Wheel is enough.
Candlewick: Who-hohoho, this is fun. Ya hungry?
Pinocchio: [about to be sick] Not really.
Candlewick: Aw, that'll change when you get those little wooden feet on the ground.

Pinocchio: I really will go straight to school tomorrow and I'll be good.
Blue Fairy: Sshh. Just rest now, Pinocchio. Little boys need to get a good night's sleep.
Pinocchio: But I'm not a real little boy.
Blue Fairy: No, not yet, but you could be someday. If you don't lie and if you think of others first and if you listen to your father.
Pinocchio: Papa! I have to tell him where I am!
Blue Fairy: Shoosh, it's alright, Pinocchio. A messenger has already gone to tell your papa where you are.
Pinocchio: Ah, tomorrow... I get to see my papa tomorrow.


Shrek 2 (2004)
Shrek: Quick, tell a lie!
Pinocchio: What should I say?
Donkey: Say something crazy, like, "I'm wearing ladies underwear!"
Pinocchio: I'm wearing ladies underwear.
Pinocchio: [silence]
Shrek: Are you?
Pinocchio: I most certainly am not!
Pinocchio: [nose extends]
Donkey: It looks like you most certainly am are!
Pinocchio: I am not!
Pinocchio: [nose extends]
Puss-in-Boots: What kind?
Gingerbread Man: IT'S A THONG!

Pinocchio: I'm a real boy!

[Harold takes the spell meant for Shrek, and is blasted until only his armour remains]
Princess Fiona: Oh, Dad...
Queen: Harold...
Pinocchio: Is he... oh...
[there's a "ribbit"]
Gingerbread Man: He croaked...
[Harold, the Frog King, clambers out of his armour]
Queen: ...Harold?
Princess Fiona: ...Dad?
King: [sighs] I had hoped you would never see me like this...
Donkey: [to Shrek] Huh - and he gave *you* a hard time!
Shrek: Donkey!
King: No, no, he's right - I'm sorry, to both of you. I only wanted what was best for Fiona, but I can see now she already has it. Shrek, Fiona - will you accept an old frog's apologies, and my blessing?
[Shrek and Fiona bow their heads in assent]
Queen: Harold...
King: I'm sorry, Lillian - I just wish I could be the man that you deserve...
Queen: [taking him in her hand] You're more that man today than you ever were - warts and all...

Gingerbread Man: I hate these ball shows. They bore me to tears! Flip over to Wheel of Torture.
Pinocchio: I'm not flipping anywhere, Sir, until I see Shrek and Fiona.


Shrek the Third (2007)
Prince Charming: You! You can't lie! So tell me puppet... where... is... Shrek?
Pinocchio: Uh. Hmm, well, uh, I don't know where he's not
Prince Charming: You're telling me you don't know where Shrek is?
Pinocchio: It wouldn't be inaccurate to assume that I couldn't exactly not say that it is or isn't almost partially incorrect.
Prince Charming: So you do know where he is!
Pinocchio: On the contrary. I'm possibly more or less not definitely rejecting the idea that in no way with any amount of uncertainty that I undeniably
Prince Charming: Stop it!
Pinocchio: ...do or do not know where he shouldn't probably be, if that indeed wasn't where he isn't. Even if he wasn't at where I knew he was
[Pigs and Gingerbread Man begin singing]
Pinocchio: That'd mean I'd really have to know where he wasn't.

Donkey: Alright people, let's do this thing. Go Team Dynamite!
Pinocchio: But I thought we agreed we'd go by the name Team Super-cool.
Gingerbread Man: As I recall, it was Team Awesome.
Wolf: I voted for Team Alpha Wolf Squadron.
Donkey: Alright, alright, alright. From henceforth, we're all to be known as Team Alpha Super Awesome Cool Dynamite Wolf Squadron.

Gingerbread Man: Ew! This is worse than Love Letters. I hate dinner theater.
Pinocchio: Me too.
[his nose grows]


Pinocchio 3000 (2004)
Pinocchio: Life would be great if kids were more like us.
Scamboli: Hmm, you've got a good point Pinocchio. I couldn't agree with you more.

Geppetto: Now just be yourself at school. School bag. And listen to what your teacher says.
[the robot arm puts the backpack on Pinocchio]
Spencer: Calm down doc. Now remember chew your food ten times before you speak.
Pinocchio: But robots don't eat.
Geppetto: Don't mix them up with your sayings Spencer. Doesn't my son look good?
[Geppetto hugs Pinocchio]
Spencer: Say cheese.
[Spencer takes the picture with his digital camera eye]
Geppetto: Hurry you're going to be late.
[They walk out the front door outside]
Pinocchio: Bye dad.
[Pinocchio waves goodbye and walks to school with Spencer the Penguin]
Geppetto: My son in school.
House: You should be proud Mr. Geppetto.


"Once Upon a Time: Best Laid Plans (#4.17)" (2015)
August W. Booth: There have been many authors throughout time. It's a job, not a person, and the one trapped in here was just the last tasked with the great responsibility: To record, to witness, the greatest stories of all time and record them for posterity. The job has gone back eons: From the man who watched shadows dance across cave walls and developed an entire philosophy, to playwrights who tell tales of poetry, to a man named Walt. Many have had this sacred job. Great women and men who took on the responsibility with the gravity that it deserved, until this last one. He started to manipulate rather than record. He did something, I don't know exactly what, but something that pushed them over the edge.
The Apprentice: [Back in the Enchanted Forest] How dare you? How dare you force me to do that to that child.
Isaac Heller: Makes for a better story.
The Apprentice: Return the quill. You are ill-suited for this job. You have abused all the rules. You have lied, you have deceived us, you have forsaken your holy duty, and now you must be punished.
[He waves his wand and sends the Author into the book, leaving the quill and the book behind]
August W. Booth: That's why the Sorcerer and his Apprentice put him in there. They're the ones who choose the Author, and they took responsibility for their error.

August W. Booth: You sure have come a long way from the woman who wouldn't believe!


Kingdom Hearts 3D: Dream Drop Distance (2012) (VG)
Jiminy Cricket: [seeing Pinocchio trapped in a cage] Shame on you, Pinocchio, playin' hooky and... and goofin' off in a place like this!
Pinocchio: I'm sorry, Jiminy. I was going to school till I met somebody. Yeah! Uh, two big monsters, with big green eyes!
[suddenly, his nose grows out a bit]
Jiminy Cricket: Oh, you don't say. And then what happened?
Pinocchio: They, uh, they tied me in a big sack!
[his nose grows even further, to his dismay]
Jiminy Cricket: Sounds like you were horsin' around.
Pinocchio: But I snuck off when they weren't lookin'.
[by now, his nose grows out of the cage, sprouting flowers and knocking Jiminy off his perch]
Pinocchio: My nose! What's happened?
Jiminy Cricket: There! Ya see where those tall tales will get ya?
Pinocchio: But it's all true! Even the fella in the black clothes who said to play a trick on Sora.
Jiminy Cricket: What? Now who was he? I've had just enough of your fibbin'.
[looks down at Pinocchio's nose]
Jiminy Cricket: Hold on... I guess that part was true. Tell me, Pinoke, did that man in black say anything else to ya?
Pinocchio: Um, he sure didn't.
Jiminy Cricket: Well, good.

Blue Fairy: Why, Pinocchio. What has happened to your nose?
Pinocchio: Oh, um...
Blue Fairy: Perhaps you haven't been telling the truth, Pinocchio. Sir Jiminy?
Jiminy Cricket: [nervously] Well, ya see, um, Your Honor, um, Miss Fairy...
Pinocchio: Oh, please help me. I'm awful sorry.
Blue Fairy: You see, Pinocchio? A lie keeps growing and growing, until it's as plain as the nose on your face.
Pinocchio: I'll never lie again - honest I won't.
Blue Fairy: I'll forgive you this once. But remember - a boy who won't be good might just as well be made of wood.
Pinocchio, Jiminy Cricket: [in unison] We'll be good! Won't we?
[they look at each other]
Blue Fairy: Very well. But this is the last time I can help you.
[with the flash of her wand, Pinocchio's long nose is returned to normal]


"Once Upon a Time: What Happened to Frederick (#1.13)" (2012)
August W. Booth: They say there's something special about this well. There's even a legend. They say that the water from the well is fed by an underground lake, and that lake has magical properties.
Emma Swan: Magic? You sound like Henry.
August W. Booth: Smart kid. So, this legend, it says that if you drink the water from the well, something lost will be returned to you.
Emma Swan: You know an awful lot about this town for being a stranger.
August W. Booth: And you know very little for being the sheriff.

August W. Booth: Water is a very powerful thing. Cultures as old as time have worshiped it. It flows throughout all lands, connecting the entire world. If anything had mystical properties, if anything had magic... well, I'd say it'd be water.


Shrek (2001)
Pinocchio: I'm not a puppet, I'm a real boy!
[nose grows]
Captain of Guards: Five shillings for the possessed toy. Take it away.

[Shrek, his swamp filled with fairytale creatures, glares at Donkey]
Donkey: Hey, don't look at me, I didn't invite them!
Pinocchio: Oh, gosh, no one invited us!
Shrek: What?
Pinocchio: We were forced to come here!
Shrek: By who?
Little Pig: Lord Farquaad. He huffed, and he puffed... and he signed an eviction notice.


"Once Upon a Time: An Apple Red as Blood (#1.21)" (2012)
August W. Booth: [Showing Henry his leg]
Henry Mills: It's wood.
August W. Booth: Yes.
Henry Mills: All of this... I was right. The curse, it's real!
August W. Booth: You're a smart kid.
Henry Mills: And you're Pinocchio!
August W. Booth: What gave it away?


Pinocchio (1972)
La Volpe: [Describing his plan to swindle Pinocchio out of his gold coins] You'll find there a beautiful big oak tree, except instead of green leaves you'll see thousands of pieces of gold growing there.
Pinocchio: Oh how wonderful, but is it really true?
La Volpe: Why of course.
Il Gatto: Of course!
La Volpe: Of course it's true, do I look like someone who tells lies?
Il Gatto: Of course!
[Volpe hits him his cane]
Il Gatto: Ow!, I mean no, no, no!


"Once Upon a Time: A Land Without Magic (#1.22)" (2012)
Emma Swan: August? Please open up. I know you're in there, open the door.
August W. Booth: [weakly] I can't.
[Emma forces her way through the door; Booth is lying on his bed, with two wooden arms]
Emma Swan: No. What's happening to you?
August W. Booth: You can see it now. You believe.
Emma Swan: Yeah, I... I do. But how do we stop this?
August W. Booth: Break the curse.
Emma Swan: I'll try, I promise. But I got to save Henry first, and I need your help.
August W. Booth: No, you don't.
Emma Swan: Yeah, I do. This is all too much. I just talked to the Evil Queen and Rumpelstiltskin about a quest to find magic. I can't do it, August. I can't. No normal person can.
August W. Booth: Luckily for us, you're not normal.


"House of Mouse: Donald's Lamp Trade (#1.10)" (2001)
Gepetto: I didn't get a wink of sleep last night.
Pinocchio: I slept like a log.


"Once Upon a Time: Heart of Darkness (#1.16)" (2012)
August W. Booth: I don't think that hot chocolate's gonna drink itself. You're upset about your teacher, aren't you?
Henry Mills: She didn't do it. Why can't anyone see that?
August W. Booth: 'Cause most people just see what's right in front of them. I don't think you're gonna find the answers you want at the bottom of that mug.
Henry Mills: Then where?
August W. Booth: That a book in your bag? You know I'm a writer. So I'm partial to finding my answers in a literary form.
Henry Mills: It's just a book.
August W. Booth: Is it?
Henry Mills: Yeah.
August W. Booth: I think we both know that that's not the case.
[to Ruby]
August W. Booth: Can I get a water, please?
Henry Mills: What do you know about it?
August W. Booth: I know it's a book of stories.
Henry Mills: Aren't all books?
August W. Booth: Stories that really happened.
Henry Mills: You think my book is real?
August W. Booth: As real as I am.
Henry Mills: How do you know?
August W. Booth: Let's just say that, uh, I'm a believer. And I want to help others see the light. That, my friend, is why I'm here.
Henry Mills: But I already believe.
August W. Booth: Well, I'm not here for you, buddy. I'm here for Emma.
Henry Mills: So you want to get her to believe? Why don't you just tell her?
August W. Booth: Well, there are some people, like you and me, we can go on faith. But others, like Emma, they need proof.
Henry Mills: Last time I tried to find proof, I got trapped in a sinkhole.
August W. Booth: There *are* less dangerous places to look.


"Animaniacs: Moby or Not Moby/Mesozoic Mindy/The Good, the Boo and the Ugly (#1.28)" (1993)
Pinocchio: [Tapping Captain Ahab's wooden leg] Say, nice leg.


Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
[the Toons gather around Judge Doom's remains]
Mickey Mouse: Gosh, I wonder who he really was?
Bugs Bunny: I'll tell you one thing, Doc. He weren't no rabbit.
Daffy Duck: Or a duck.
Goofy: Or a dog.
Pinocchio: Or a little wooden boy.
Big Bad Wolf: Or a... sheep.
Woody Woodpecker: Or a woodpecker.
Sylvester: Or a pussy.


"Once Upon a Time: Tallahassee (#2.6)" (2012)
Neal Cassady: Who are you? You got two minutes.
August W. Booth: Think of me as Emma's guardian angel.
Neal Cassady: Guardian angel? I'd say you've been doing a pretty crap job.


Far Far Away Idol (2004) (V)
Pinocchio: [singing] Domo Arigato, Mr. Robotto/Domo, Domo...
Simon Cowell: Come on, get real, Pinocchio.
Shrek: I find his performance quite wooden actually.
[laughs about the joke he just made]
Shrek: Wooden.
[Fiona giggles along with him]