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Zazu
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Quotes for
Zazu (Character)
from The Lion King (1994)

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The Lion King (1994)
Zazu: [singing] Nooooobody knows the trouble I've seen. / Nooooobody knows my sorrow.
Scar: Oh, Zazu, do lighten up. Sing something with a little *bounce* in it.
Zazu: [singing] It's a small world after all...
Scar: NO! No. *Anything* but that!
Zazu: [singing] I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts. / Dee-dee-dee-dee, / There they are just standing in a row.
Zazu, Scar: [Scar joins in] Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head...
Zazu: [whispering] Oh, I never had to do this with Mufasa.

Zazu: [caged while the battle rages around him] Let me out! Let me out!
Timon: [fleeing the hyenas] Lemme in! Lemme in!

Zazu: Checking in with the morning report.
Mufasa: Fire away.
Zazu: Well the buzz from the bees is that the leopards are in a bit of a spot. And the baboons are going ape over this. Of course, the giraffes are acting like they're above it all... The tick birds are pecking on the elephants. I told the elephants to forget it, but they can't. The cheetahs are hard up, but I always say, cheetahs never prosper...

Zazu: [leading Simba and Nala to the waterhole] Step lively. The sooner we get to the waterhole, the sooner we can leave.
Young Nala: [whispering to Simba] So where are we really going?
Young Simba: An elephant graveyard.
Young Nala: Wow!
Young Simba: Shhhh! Zazu.
Young Nala: Right. So how are we going to ditch the dodo?
[Simba starts whispering to her]
Zazu: Just look at you two. Little seeds of romance blossoming in the savannah. Your parents will be *thrilled*, what with your being betrothed and all.
Young Simba: Be-what?
Zazu: Betrothed. Intended. Affianced.
Young Nala: Meaning...?
Zazu: One day, you two are going to be married.
Young Simba: Yuck.
Young Nala: Ewww.
Young Simba: I can't marry her. She's my friend.
Young Nala: Yeah. It'd be so weird.
Zazu: Well, sorry to bust the old bubble, but you two turtledoves have no choice. It's a tradition going back generations.
Young Simba: Well, when I'm king, that'll be the first thing to go.
Zazu: Not so long as I'm around.
Young Simba: Well, in that case, you're fired.
Zazu: Hmmm... Nice try, but only the king can do that.
Young Nala: Well, he's the future king.
Young Simba: Yeah. So you have to do what I tell you.
Zazu: Not yet I don't. And with an attitude like that, I'm afraid you're shaping up to be a pretty pathetic king indeed.

Zazu: I'm here to announce that King Mufasa's on his way. So you'd better have a good excuse for missing the ceremony this morning.
Scar: [sees the mouse scampering off] Oh, now look, Zazu, you made me lose my lunch.
Zazu: Ha! You'll lose more than that when the King gets through with you. He's as mad as a hippo with a hernia...
Scar: [approaches him menacingly] Oooh... I quiver with *fear*...

Mufasa: Don't turn your back on me, Scar!
Scar: Oh, no, Mufasa. Perhaps *you* shouldn't turn your back on *me*.
Mufasa: [roars, runs to stand before him] Is that a challenge?
Scar: Temper, temper. I wouldn't *dream* of challenging you.
Zazu: Pity! Why not?
Scar: Well, as far as brains go, I got the lion's share. But, when it comes to brute strength... I'm afraid I'm at the shallow end of the gene pool.

Zazu: [about Scar] There's one in every family sire. Two in mine, actually. And they always manage to ruin special occasions.
Mufasa: What am I going to do with him?
Zazu: He'd make a very handsome throw rug.
Mufasa: [Surprised] Zazu!
Zazu: And just think, Whenever he gets dirty you can take him out and beat him.

Zazu: What's going on?
Mufasa: A pouncing lesson.
Zazu: Oh, very good. Pouncing. *Pouncing*? Oh, no, Sire, you can't be serious...
[Mufasa signs for "turn around"]
Zazu: This is so humiliating.

Young Simba: Hey, look, Banana Beak is scared.
Zazu: That's *Mr.* Banana Beak to you, Fuzzy! And right now, we are all in very real danger.
Young Simba: Danger? Hah! I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger. Ha ha ha ha!

Shenzi: Do you know what we do to kings who step out of their kingdom?
Young Simba: Puh. You can't do anything to me.
Zazu: Uhh... technically, they can. We are on their land.
Young Simba: But Zazu, you told me they're nothing but slobbering mangy stupid poachers.
Zazu: Ix-nay on the oopid-stay...
Banzai: Who're you callin' "oopid-stay?"
Zazu: Oh, my, my, my. Look at the sun. It's time to go!

Banzai: Hey, Boss!
Scar: Oh, what is it this time?
Banzai: We've got a bone to pick with you!
Shenzi: I'll handle this. Scar, there's no food, no water...
Banzai: Yeah, it's dinner time, and we ain't got no stinkin' entrees.
Scar: It's the lionesses' job to do the hunting.
Banzai: Yeah, but they won't go hunt.
Scar: Oh... eat Zazu.
Zazu: Oh, you wouldn't want me. I'd be so tough and gamey and... eeww...
Scar: Oh, Zazu, don't be ridiculous. All you need is a little garnish.

Zazu: Well, as slippery as your mind is, as the King's brother *you* should've been first in line.
Scar: [Scar threatens to bite, Zazu retreats toward Mufasa] Well, I was first in line, until the little hairball was born.
Mufasa: That hairball is my son. And *your* future king.
Scar: Oh, I shall have to practice my curtsy.

Banzai: The little majordomo bird, hippity-hop, all the way to the birdie boiler.
Zazu: Oh no, not the birdie boiler!
[Zazu rockets away, with his Tail Feathers on Fire]

[first lines]
Scar: [Scar catches a mouse] Life's not fair, is it? You see, I... well, I shall never be king. And you... shall never see the light of another day. Hmm-hmm-hmm, adieu.
Zazu: Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with your food?

Zazu: [On Mufasa's Back] Oh look Sire. The herds are on the move.
Mufasa: Yes...
Scar: [Worried and Desperate] Quick Mufasa! Stampede, in the gorge. Simba's down there!
Mufasa: Simba?

Shenzi: Well, well, well, Banzai, what have we got here?
Banzai: Hmm, I don't know Shenzi uh, what do you think Ed?
Ed the Hyena: Oo ehehe, oh hahahaha
Banzai: Yeah, just what I was thinking, a trio of trespassers.
Zazu: And quite by accident let me assure you...
Shenzi: Whoa, whoa, wait wait. I know you, you're Mufasa's little stooge.
Zazu: I madame, am the king's majordomo.
Banzai: And that would make you...?
Young Simba: The future King!
Shenzi: Do you know what we do to kings who step out of their kingdom?
Young Simba: Puh, you can't do anything to me.
Zazu: Uh-uh, technically they can, we are on their land.
Young Simba: But Zazu, you told me they are nothing but slobbery, mangy stupid poachers.
Zazu: Ix-nay on the upid-stay...
Banzai: Who you callin' upid-stay?

Zazu: As the king's brother *you* should have been first in line.
Mufasa: Well I was first in line. Until the little hairball was born.
Mufasa: That hairball is my son and you're future king.
Scar: [Begins walking away] Oh, I shall practice my curtsey
Mufasa: Don't turn your back on me, Scar.
Scar: Oh, no Mufasa. Perhaps *you* shouldn't turn your back on *me*
Mufasa: [Roars angrily and runs in front of Scar's path] Is that a challenge?
Scar: Temper temper. I wouldn't dream of challenging you.
Zazu: Pity. Why not?
Scar: Well as far as brains go I got the lion's share but when it comes to brute strength. I'm afraid I'm at the shallow end of the gene pool

Zazu: [about Scar] There's one in every family sire. Two in mine actually.
Mufasa: What am I going to do with him?
Zazu: He'd make a very handsome throw rug.
Mufasa: Zazu!
Zazu: And just think. Whenever he gets dirty you can take him out and beat him!

Zazu: Oh look, sire. The herd is on the move.
Mufasa: Oh...
Scar: [calling] Mufasa!
[frantic and concerned]
Scar: Quick! Stampede! In the gorge! Simba's down there!
Mufasa: [greatly alarmed] Simba?

Young Simba: [Simba is clinging on to a dead tree branch for dear life] Zazu, help me!
Zazu: Your father's on the way! Hold on!
Young Simba: [scared] HURRY!

Zazu: [to Mufasa; pointing at Simba, who is holding on to the branch of a dead tree in the middle of the stampede] There! There! On the tree!
Mufasa: Hold on, Simba!
[a wildebeet's horn hits the tree which begins to break]
Young Simba: [wails] AAAAAAAGGGHHHHHHH!
[Mufasa jumps off the cliff and dives to Simba's rescue]