Bobby Brady
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Quotes for
Bobby Brady (Character)
from "The Brady Bunch" (1969)

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"The Brady Bunch: Bobby's Hero (#4.17)" (1973)
Mike Brady: I think you're going to find this gentleman very interesting, did you know that his father actually knew Jesse James?
Bobby Brady: He did? Wow am I glad to meet you!
Jethroe Collins: I hear Jesse's a hero of yours.
Bobby Brady: I wrote a whole composition about him for school.
Jethroe Collins: I wrote a whole book about Jesse James, only he wasn't a hero to me.
Bobby Brady: He wasn't?
Jethroe Collins: Nope, Jesse James killed my father.

Jethroe Collins: Jesse James killed my father.
Bobby Brady: He did?
Jethroe Collins: Shot him in the back, that's how he usually shot them, too cowardly to face them I guess.
Bobby Brady: I can't believe that, Mr. Collins.
Carol Brady: He's telling the truth, Bobby.

Jethroe Collins: Son, you know the legends, I know the facts.
Mike Brady: Mr. Collins, why don't you tell Bob about how it was with your father?
Jethroe Collins: Well, I was just a little boy at the time. My father was riding a train to California, Jesse James held it up.
Bobby Brady: Did they have a shootout?
Jethroe Collins: Well, wasn't much of a shootout, my father had his face to the wall, his hands in the air, and he wasn't wearing a gun.
Bobby Brady: Then why'd Jesse shoot him?
Jethroe Collins: Because that's the kind of man that Jesse James was, a mean dirty killer. My mother used to cry about it in her sleep. When I was old enough to understand, I used to have nightmares about it myself. Awful nightmares, about that train robbery.

Bobby Brady: You're supposed to be on the train.
Cindy Brady: No I'm not, now I'm the posse hunting you down.

Cindy Brady: [chasing Bobby into the kitchen where Alice is mopping] Jesse James, you're under arrest!
Bobby Brady: No way, you can't arrest me here.
Cindy Brady: Why not?
Bobby Brady: I just crossed the Rio Grande River, THIS is Mexico.
Alice Nelson: Well vamoose you caballeros, because all of Mexico is going to get mopped up.

"The Brady Bunch Variety Hour: Episode #1.2" (1977)
Carol Brady: We really think we have a terrific show for you tonight!
Marcia Brady: It's loaded with music, dancing and lots of comedy.
Bobby Brady: Stay tuned, folks. The comedy starts right after this monologue.

Mike Brady: Hey, let's sing!
Bobby Brady: Now THAT'S funny!

Bobby Brady: That's Peter's idea of funny stuff, he sings with a puppet. Next week he wants to dance with a roll of paper towels.

Bobby Brady: Compared to us, Donny and Marie are Cheech and Chong!

Bobby Brady: Mr. Berle, we need your help. You see, we're about as funny as the Waltons.
Milton Berle: No, you're not.

The Brady Bunch Movie (1995)
Bobby Brady: Excuse me, officers, but I hate to ask a law enforcement official to bend the rules, especially for Penal Code 117, Section 33b, but our house is at stake.

Marcia Brady: [suggesting a way to raise money] I've got it! We could enter that Search For The Stars contest! First prize is twenty thousand dollars!
Greg Brady: That's a great idea, Marcia!
Bobby Brady: Great idea, Marcia!
Jan Brady: Am I invisible? Do I not have a voice? I had that idea two days ago!
Peter Brady: [disgusted] Oh come on, Jan.

Peter Brady: If Mom and Dad have to sell the house, we'll have to move.
Bobby Brady: Go to a new school.
Jan Brady: Make new friends.
Marcia Brady: But Jan, you don't have any friends.

Bobby Brady: Boy, you sure have some strong thigh muscles Mrs. Whitfield.

Greg Brady: And that's why I called this meeting.
Marcia Brady: Greg, what are we going to do?
Peter Brady: Yeah, if we don't raise $20,000 in one week, we'll have to move.
Bobby Brady: And go to a new school.
Jan Brady: And make new friends.
Marcia Brady: But Jan, you don't have any friends.

"The Brady Bunch: To Move or Not to Move (#1.23)" (1970)
Greg Brady: Hey Pete, remember the night you ran into the bathroom door and they had to tape four stitches in your nose?
Peter Brady: Yeah, and the dent's still in the door.
Greg Brady: And the time Bobby tried to climb up the television lead-in.
Bobby Brady: Yeah, and the antenna came down and hit me right on the head.
Peter Brady: You had a bump on your head for 3 weeks.
Greg Brady: What about the time I fell off the garage roof?
Peter Brady: Right through the top of Dad's new convertible.
Greg Brady: I busted 3 ribs and the gearshift handle.
Peter Brady: Oh boy.
Greg Brady: Yeah, we've had some good times in this house.

Cindy Brady: That terrible noise woke us up!
Bobby Brady: What do you suppose it was?
Alice Nelson: [a loud creaking sounds] Or is?
Carol Brady: Well sometimes a loose board will make a house creak.
Cindy Brady: You sound just like Daddy.

Cindy Brady, Bobby Brady: [all hear a loud slamming noise] What was that?
Carol Brady: [taken aback] Ub, hey, wa, it's probably the wind, uh, banging against the shutters.
Alice Nelson: That would be a good guess, Mrs. Brady, if there *was* a wind, and we had shutters.

"Day by Day: A Very Brady Episode (#2.11)" (1989)
Ross Harper: I'm feelin' a little cooped up. Why don't we go to the mall?
Peter Brady: Mall? What's a mall?
Ross Harper: You know, it's a place with all these stores, great lookin' girls.
Bobby Brady: Girls! I'd rather kiss a basketball or a catcher's mitt than any dumb old girl!

Ross Harper: What do ya say we get on our bikes and we go somewhere?
Peter Brady: Don't be a turnip-brain, Chuck! We never ride our bikes!
Bobby Brady: We just fix 'em!

Mike Brady: You got an F?
Ross Harper: Are you mad?
Carol Brady: Of course not!
Marcia Brady: We've all gotten bad grades before.
Ross Harper: You have?
Bobby Brady: Why do you think we're all still living at home?

"The Brady Bunch Variety Hour: Pilot (#1.0)" (1976)
Cindy Brady: How would you like to eat your teeth?
Bobby Brady: How would you like to sit on a frog?
Carol Brady: My babies, they're so close.

[a "Now Serving #27" sign descends from the ceiling]
Carol Brady: With eight Bradys, this is the only fair way to decide who eats first, who talks first or who gets the bathroom.
Jan Brady: Mother, how could you? Now everybody knows!
Bobby Brady: My sister Jan doesn't want anyone to know we even have a bathroom.
Greg Brady: You know, actually in our old house, we didn't.

"The Brady Bunch: The Liberation of Marcia Brady (#2.19)" (1971)
Bobby Brady: How come girls do dumb things and they don't even know it's dumb?
Peter Brady: 'Cause they're dumb!

"The Brady Bunch: Never Too Young (#5.4)" (1973)
Bobby Brady: Thanks, Cindy. If you weren't a girl, I'd kiss you!

"The Brady Bunch: Katchoo (#1.5)" (1969)
Mike Brady: Jan's allergic to Tiger... and I'm afraid, boys, that they cannot live together in the same house.
Peter Brady: Aw Dad.
Greg Brady: That's terrible.
Bobby Brady: Where's Jan gonna live?

"The Brady Bunch: Ghost Town, U.S.A. (#3.1)" (1971)
Bobby Brady: Geez, I can't wait to get started. Grand Canyon! Wow!
Mike Brady: Well, it's not just the canyon, Bob. Now we can learn all about the Indian tribes that live there like the Havasupai, the Hopi, the Hualapai, the Navajo.
Peter Brady: How'd they get such strange names?
Mike Brady: Well, each name means something, Pete. Like Havasupai, for instance, means "Great People of Blue-Green Running Water."
Bobby Brady: How about my name, Dad? Does Bobby mean anything?
Peter Brady: Yeah. It means little man with great, big running mouth!

"The Brady Bunch: Fright Night (#4.6)" (1972)
Carol Brady: [after Alice destroys the bust of Mike's head because the kids scared her] Like I said, fun is fun, but if you're not careful, someone can get hurt.
Bobby Brady: We never thought it would be dad's head.

"The Brady Bunch: You Can't Win 'Em All (#4.22)" (1973)
Bobby Brady: Hey, Cindy, you want to play in the tipi?
Cindy Brady: Don't be silly.
Bobby Brady: What's silly about it?
Cindy Brady: I might get dirty.
Bobby Brady: So what?
Cindy Brady: Television stars don't play in tipis and they don't get dirty.
Bobby Brady: Who's a television star?
Cindy Brady: I am. That's who.

"The Brady Bunch Variety Hour: Episode #1.5" (1977)
Cindy Brady: Aren't we making a movie?
Carol Brady: I think we better get this television show on first.
Bobby Brady: Really! If we don't hurry up, people are gonna turn us off and go to the movies!

"The Brady Bunch: Greg Gets Grounded (#4.15)" (1973)
Greg Brady: How old are you?
Bobby Brady: Eleven.
Greg Brady: It's amazing.
Bobby Brady: What is?
Greg Brady: How anyone could get so stupid in such a short time!

"The Brady Bunch: Confessions, Confessions (#2.12)" (1970)
Greg Brady: Mom's favorite vase!
Bobby Brady: She always said, don't play ball in the house!

A Very Brady Sequel (1996)
[all the Brady kids and Alice are tied together by a staircase from Roy Martin, who left and kidnapped mom, they all think in their heads]
Bobby Brady: If I had been a better detective, I would've been on Mr. Martin sooner. This is all my fault.
Cindy Brady: If I wasn't too busy looking for my doll, I would've seen something suspicious. This is all my fault.
Kitty Carry-all: I bet he wouldn't have tied me up if I was Barbie. This is all my fault.
Peter Brady: What a dumb-head I am. I guess Roy was not much of a hero after all. This is all my fault.
Alice: I must've not put enough mushrooms in his spaghetti sauce. This is all my fault.
Greg Brady: Marcia looks great in those ropes... Wait a minute, what am I saying? This is all my fault!
Jan Brady: It was wrong to make up George Glass. This is all my fault!
Marcia: This is all Jan's fault.

"The Brady Bunch: 54-40 and Fight (#1.15)" (1970)
Carol Brady: [exasperated] Oh, the peace and quiet of home.
[Greg and Marcia begin to argue heatedly in the background]
Bobby Brady: That doesn't sound very quiet.
Cindy Brady: And not very peace.

"The Brady Bunch: A Fistful of Reasons (#2.8)" (1970)
Greg Brady: Buddy could stand a good licking. Might stop him from being such a bully.
Bobby Brady: Are you sure you can lick him?
Peter Brady: Are you kiddin'?
Bobby Brady: Well, last time he gave you a black eye.
Peter Brady: That was just a lucky punch.
Greg Brady: How many punches did he throw?
Peter Brady: One.
Bobby Brady: Boy, how lucky can you get?