Greg Brady
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Quotes for
Greg Brady (Character)
from "The Brady Bunch" (1969)

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The Brady Bunch Movie (1995)
Greg Brady: Hey there, groovy chicks. You're all hip in far out ways.

Eddie: Get out! This is a car jack!
Greg Brady: [rolls down the window] Well, of course this is a car. But my name's not Jack. It's Greg.

Marcia Brady: [suggesting a way to raise money] I've got it! We could enter that Search For The Stars contest! First prize is twenty thousand dollars!
Greg Brady: That's a great idea, Marcia!
Bobby Brady: Great idea, Marcia!
Jan Brady: Am I invisible? Do I not have a voice? I had that idea two days ago!
Peter Brady: [disgusted] Oh come on, Jan.

[Mrs. Dittmeyer tucks mail into Greg's pants]
Mrs. Dena Dittmeyer: My, you've gotten so big. You're almost as big as your daddy.
Greg Brady: And I'm still growing.
Mrs. Dena Dittmeyer: Right before my very eyes.

Greg Brady: And that's why I called this meeting.
Marcia Brady: Greg, what are we going to do?
Peter Brady: Yeah, if we don't raise $20,000 in one week, we'll have to move.
Bobby Brady: And go to a new school.
Jan Brady: And make new friends.
Marcia Brady: But Jan, you don't have any friends.

"Robot Chicken: Suck It (#2.1)" (2006)
Jan Brady: Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! How come she gets blown up, and I don't?
[Mike throws a grenade at her]

Greg Brady: No, we wouldn't go to Hell, because she's not really our sister.
Peter Brady: So, these feelings are natural?

Greg Brady: Damn you, tiki idol!

"The Brady Bunch Variety Hour: Pilot (#1.0)" (1976)
[a "Now Serving #27" sign descends from the ceiling]
Carol Brady: With eight Bradys, this is the only fair way to decide who eats first, who talks first or who gets the bathroom.
Jan Brady: Mother, how could you? Now everybody knows!
Bobby Brady: My sister Jan doesn't want anyone to know we even have a bathroom.
Greg Brady: You know, actually in our old house, we didn't.

Greg Brady: Music is my life.

"The Brady Bunch: To Move or Not to Move (#1.23)" (1970)
Greg Brady: Hey Pete, remember the night you ran into the bathroom door and they had to tape four stitches in your nose?
Peter Brady: Yeah, and the dent's still in the door.
Greg Brady: And the time Bobby tried to climb up the television lead-in.
Bobby Brady: Yeah, and the antenna came down and hit me right on the head.
Peter Brady: You had a bump on your head for 3 weeks.
Greg Brady: What about the time I fell off the garage roof?
Peter Brady: Right through the top of Dad's new convertible.
Greg Brady: I busted 3 ribs and the gearshift handle.
Peter Brady: Oh boy.
Greg Brady: Yeah, we've had some good times in this house.

Carol Brady: Is that McIntyre banshee on the loose again?
Peter Brady: There's something out here, Mom.
Alice Nelson: 3 very definite crashes.
Greg Brady: I'll say there were.
Marcia Brady: Greg was helping me with that flat tire on my bike when we heard them.
Carol Brady: Maybe Tiger's wrestling with those garbage cans again.
Greg Brady: Oh it can't be, Tiger's sleeping in the house tonight.
Carol Brady: In the house? Why?
Marcia Brady: He was getting spooked by all those funny noises.
Alice Nelson: Just like everyone else around here.
Peter Brady: After all, he's only human
[another crash sounds]
Peter Brady, Alice Nelson: Four!
Carol Brady: I think we better take another look around.
Alice Nelson: All of us?
Carol Brady: There's safety in numbers, Alice, come on.

"The Brady Bunch: Fright Night (#4.6)" (1972)
Alice Nelson: I said all along it was a sucker's bet.
Greg Brady: You said they
[the girls]
Greg Brady: were the sucker.
Alice Nelson: Anybody who believes in a ghost is a sucker.

Greg Brady: [trying to think of something that'll scare Alice] What about vampires?
Alice Nelson: Oh vampires are a pain in the neck.
Alice Nelson: That's pretty good.
Marcia Brady: What about werewolves?
Alice Nelson: All bark and no bite.
[laughs again]

"The Brady Bunch: Adios, Johnny Bravo (#5.1)" (1973)
Greg Brady: Wait a minute. She said I should come alone. I guess she figures, 'cuz I'm the oldest, I must be the leader.

Greg Brady: [after quitting his Johnny Bravo persona, to his parents] They didn't want me. They wanted a robot.

A Very Brady Sequel (1996)
Marcia: [brushing her hair and counting] One, two, three, four.
[noticing Greg undressing through the curtain]
Marcia: Four, four, four.
Greg Brady: Marcia?
Marcia: [seductively] Yes, Greg?
[normal voice]
Marcia: I mean, what?
Greg Brady: If Roy really is Mom's husband, then does that mean.
Marcia: We're not brother and sister?

[all the Brady kids and Alice are tied together by a staircase from Roy Martin, who left and kidnapped mom, they all think in their heads]
Bobby Brady: If I had been a better detective, I would've been on Mr. Martin sooner. This is all my fault.
Cindy Brady: If I wasn't too busy looking for my doll, I would've seen something suspicious. This is all my fault.
Kitty Carry-all: I bet he wouldn't have tied me up if I was Barbie. This is all my fault.
Peter Brady: What a dumb-head I am. I guess Roy was not much of a hero after all. This is all my fault.
Alice: I must've not put enough mushrooms in his spaghetti sauce. This is all my fault.
Greg Brady: Marcia looks great in those ropes... Wait a minute, what am I saying? This is all my fault!
Jan Brady: It was wrong to make up George Glass. This is all my fault!
Marcia: This is all Jan's fault.

"Family Guy: Death Has a Shadow (#1.1)" (1999)
Jan Brady: Mom, Dad, I found cigarettes in Greg's jacket.
Mike Brady: Greg were you smoking cigarettes?
Greg Brady: No dad.
Mike Brady: Well he's lying. There's no doubt about that. Greg I'm afraid your punishment will be 4 hours in the snake pit. Maybe that will give you some time to think about what you have done.
Jan Brady: That will teach him.
Mike Brady: And Jan I'm afraid you have earned a day in the chamber of fire for tattling on your brother.
Lois Griffin: Uch, smoking! How does a boy like that turn out so wrong.
Peter Griffin: Well, they live in a crummy neighborhood.
Brian Griffin: The Bradys?
Peter Griffin: Oh, yeah, they got robbers, thugs, drug dealers, aw, you name it.
Black Woman: [appearing at the window with a plate full of pancakes] You folks want some pancakes?
Peter Griffin: No, thank you.
[to his family]
Peter Griffin: See, that's the worst we got is Jemima's Witnesses.

"The Brady Bunch: Katchoo (#1.5)" (1969)
Mike Brady: Jan's allergic to Tiger... and I'm afraid, boys, that they cannot live together in the same house.
Peter Brady: Aw Dad.
Greg Brady: That's terrible.
Bobby Brady: Where's Jan gonna live?

"The Brady Bunch: Greg Gets Grounded (#4.15)" (1973)
Greg Brady: How old are you?
Bobby Brady: Eleven.
Greg Brady: It's amazing.
Bobby Brady: What is?
Greg Brady: How anyone could get so stupid in such a short time!

"The Brady Bunch Variety Hour: Episode #1.2" (1977)
Greg Brady: What has six eyes, sex appeal, smokes a cigar and wears a toupee?
Everyone: What?
Greg Brady: Tonight's three guests.

"The Brady Bunch: The Hustler (#5.21)" (1974)
Peter Brady: [misses shot in game of pool] Aww! This cue stick must be crooked!
Greg Brady: You're game's not improving but your alibis are.

"The Brady Bunch: Confessions, Confessions (#2.12)" (1970)
Greg Brady: Mom's favorite vase!
Bobby Brady: She always said, don't play ball in the house!

"The Brady Bunch: The Winner (#2.21)" (1971)
Greg Brady: Dad? Mom? Can we see you for a minute?
Carol Brady: What's up?
Marcia Brady: Well, we've all talked it over and...
Greg Brady: ...all of us except Bobby.
Marcia Brady: Yeah, except Bobby. And we think you should know.
Mike Brady: Know what?
Greg Brady: Well, Bobby has been a real stinker.
Carol Brady: Greg, you know I don't like that word.

"The Brady Bunch: The Hair-Brained Scheme (#5.22)" (1974)
Carol Brady: I knew something like this was going to happen, Bobby!
Greg Brady: Well, why didn't you tell ME?

"The Brady Bunch: A Fistful of Reasons (#2.8)" (1970)
Greg Brady: Buddy could stand a good licking. Might stop him from being such a bully.
Bobby Brady: Are you sure you can lick him?
Peter Brady: Are you kiddin'?
Bobby Brady: Well, last time he gave you a black eye.
Peter Brady: That was just a lucky punch.
Greg Brady: How many punches did he throw?
Peter Brady: One.
Bobby Brady: Boy, how lucky can you get?

"The Brady Bunch: The Dropout (#2.1)" (1970)
Greg Brady: [catches himself beginning to go overboard again about baseball, and comes back to reality] Why didn't you stop me, Dad?
Mike Brady: [confidently] Because I think you just proved you're smart enough to stop yourself.