Red Riding hood
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Quotes for
Red Riding hood (Character)
from "Once Upon a Time" (2011)

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Hoodwinked! (2005)
[Flippers has shown up uninvited]
Chief Grizzly: Nicky Flippers? What are you doing here? This is *my* case!
Nicky Flippers: Well, someone hibernated on the wrong side of the cave. I saw the lights, thought the circus was in town.
[eyes the four detainees]
Nicky Flippers: Now of course, I see I was right.
Chief Grizzly: Well you're too late, Nicky, I've got this case wrapped up nice and tight.
Nicky Flippers: Is that right?
Chief Grizzly: Yeah.
Red Puckett: They've got this all wrong, Mr. Flippers.
[Flippers turns to Red]
Nicky Flippers: Oh, I don't know. You look pretty dangerous to me. What's your name?
Red Puckett: Red.
Nicky Flippers: And why do they call you that?
Red Puckett: Why do they call you "Flippers"?
Nicky Flippers: [Cuts to Flippers on the dance floor at a disco club in a flashy white suit. As the crowd chants "Go Flippers!" in the background, he does a backflip and lands in a splitz] Uh, no reason.
Red Puckett: They call me "Red" because of this red hood I wear.
Nicky Flippers: What about when you're not wearing it?
[beat]
Red Puckett: I usually wear it.

Granny: [Granny has just revealed that she is an extreme sports athlete] Honey, don't look at your granny like that.
Red Puckett: I'm sorry, I thought you were Triple G! Or are you the Bandit?
[beat]
Det. Bill Stork: Awkward!
[awkwardly side slips his way out of the room]
Granny: You're being ridiculous, Red.
Red Puckett: *I'm* being ridiculous? You're off living... La Vida Loca, risking your life for some dumb thrills! And I'm supposed to stay home and be your happy little delivery girl?
Tommy: I, have a...
Nicky Flippers: Coffee break, anyone?
Chief Grizzly: Uh, yeah.
Det. Bill Stork: Whose got my keys?
Raccoon Jerry: You think Granny would mind if I went through her garbage?
Chief Grizzly: Excuse us.
[Everyone except Red and Granny files out of the room]
Granny: I thought you were happy.
Red Puckett: Open your eyes. I've never even been outside of the forest. Don't you think I'd want more than that?
Granny: Of course you do. You're a Puckett.
Red Puckett: [sighs] I don't know what that means anymore.

[last lines]
Red: Mr. Flippers!
Nicky Flippers: I see you all got my message. Glad you could make it.
Granny: What's going on?
Nicky Flippers: Well, I was wondering if you'd like to come and work for me? I could use some fresh talent like you.
The Wolf: What kind of work are we talking about?
Nicky Flippers: You'd be under cover, on impossible missions, to far away places. There's a lot of stories out there that need a happy ending. I'm part of a secret organization that makes sure that happens.
Red: "Happily Ever After Agency"?
Nicky Flippers: The woods don't go 'round by themselves.
Twitchy: [talking very fast] Yeah! Alright! Okay we fight the bad guys, we ride the ski boats, climb the walls, and swing the windows secret agent style. Right! Yeah!
Nicky Flippers: So what do you think?
Granny: Bring it honey!
Red: I always did like happy endings.

Red Puckett: [Red encounters the Wolf, wearing a Granny mask and apron and using a falsetto voice] Who are you ?
The Wolf: I'm your grandma.
Red Puckett: Your face looks really weird, granny.
The Wolf: I've been sick, I... uh...
Red Puckett: Your mouth doesn't move when you talk.
The Wolf: Plastic surgery. Grandma's had a little work done.

Red: [about the medallion she found in Granny's drawer] Huh? What's this?
Granny: Oh, it says "World's Greatest Grandma".
Red: Grandma, I can read. It says "Battle of the Iron Cage Gladiators".

Chief Grizzly: Pretty thin Wolf! You say the old lady was already tied up. How did that happen?
The Wolf: I don't know, maybe to make herself look innocent. I just write the news Chief, I don't make it.
Red: For a reporter, you sure have a strange way of doing your job.
The Wolf: What can I say? I was raised by wolves.

Chief Grizzly: Shouldn't you be in school?
Red: Shouldn't I have a lawyer?

[discovering the Wolf is pretending to be Granny]
Red: You again! What do I have to do, get a restraining order?

Red: You're crazy!
Boingo: Maybe so, but I'm top of the woods now baby!

[Red has just explained how she escaped the Wolf]
Chief Grizzly: Yep, that settles it. We've got our bandit.
Nicky Flippers: Ah, could be. I'd like to count my chickens after they hatch.
Tommy: [oinks] Chickens?
Red Puckett: You've gotta admit, a wolf stopping kids in the middle of the forest? That's pretty creepy!
Nicky Flippers: Yes, right. But we don't arrest people for being creepy.
Tommy: [on radio] Yeah Bruce, you know that guy we got in the tank?
Bruce: Uh... the creepy one?
Tommy: Yeah, better let him go.
Nicky Flippers: [to Red] So you went on to Granny's?
Red Puckett: I found an old trail up the north side of the mountain.

Red: What big ears you have.
The Wolf: All the better to hear your many criticisms!

[Red crests a hill and finds herself at the edge of a meadow, and starts to hear music]
Red Puckett: Hello?
[sees that the music is coming from Japeth, singing on the porch of his shack; Red approaches him]
Red Puckett: Hello.
[Japeth continues yodeling and strumming on his banjo]
Red Puckett: I'm looking for Granny Puckett's house?
Japeth the Goat: [singing] Graaaaaaaanneeee Puckeeeet...
Red Puckett: Could you stop singing for one moment?
Japeth the Goat: [singing] No I can't, wish I could, but a mountain witch done put a spell on me, 37 years agoooooooo, and now I gotta sing every thing I saaaaaaaaayyyyyy...
Red Puckett: Everything?
Japeth the Goat: [speaking] That's right.
Red Puckett: You just talked! Just now!
Japeth the Goat: Oh, did I?
[singing]
Japeth the Goat: Did I? Dididididodadidididoooo...
[Red turns and gives us a pissed off look]

[During her bike ride, Red stops for a family of bakers who are crossing the road, leaving behind their snack shack after being struck by the Bandit]
Red Puckett: [voiceover] With the Goodie Bandit on the loose, recipes were becoming an endangered species. I decided to call Granny. If anyone knew what to do, she would.
[Cuts to Granny knitting and talking on the phone]
Granny Puckett: I don't know what to do. I'm just a tired old lady.
[Her image is shrunk to a circle wipe, revealing Red using a payphone]
Red Puckett: Your recipes are the most famous in the whole forest, Granny! What if they get swiped? It could wipe you out! Maybe I should bring you the recipe book, just for safekeeping.
Granny Puckett: A trip up the mountain is too dangerous for a little girl.
Red Puckett: I'm not so little anymore!
Granny Puckett: Please, dear, you just keep the recipes there and everything will be fine.
Red Puckett: But...
Granny Puckett: I have to go now. My program's on. Kisses.
[Blows air kisses and hangs up the phone]

[Red is in a treehouse, reading a magazine; a woodpecker flies up]
Woodpecker: Watcha readin', Red?
[sees the magazine's cover]
Woodpecker: "Far Away Places"? Are you going somewhere far away?
Red Puckett: No. The world is too dangerous for me!
[throws the magazine over the side. It falls, and lands on the windshield of a passing sports car]
Passing motorist: Ahh! Can't see! Danger! Turn into the skid!
[Swerves violently all over the road; the scene cuts back to Red as the sounds of screeching tires are heard, followed by a loud crash that shakes a tree in the distance]
Passing motorist: I'm okay! I'll walk it off!
Woodpecker: You can't go away. Who's gonna ride the goody bike?
Red Puckett: If I had wings like you, I'd fly all the way past that mountain, and the next one and the next one, but I can't. I am just a kid.
Woodpecker: I'm just a woodpecker.
[a window is shattered and Red flinches]

[Red uses the phone in Japeth's shack]
Red Puckett: Granny?
Granny: Huh, who's that?
Red Puckett: It's Red. I'm on my way over to see...
Granny: Oh, my dear, I-I'm not prepared. I've got to... put down fresh doilies! Ugh!
[slips on something]
Red Puckett: Granny! Granny! What's wrong?
Granny: Gotta go, munchkin. Bonsai!
[the call is disconnected]
Red Puckett: Oh, no!
[hangs up the phone and turns around to Japeth]
Red Puckett: Mr. Goat, my Granny's in trouble! I've got to find a way around the mountain, fast!
Japeth the Goat: [singing] Well you came to the right goat!
[pops out his rocking horns]
Red Puckett: Oh, good. More singing.
[Japeth begins singing "Be Prepared"]

[Grizzly has learned that the Wolf was trying to eat Red]
Chief Grizzly: All right, get a muzzle on that guy.
The Wolf: Hey, I can explain everything.
Chief Grizzly: Well you can explain it to the judge.
[turns to Red]
Chief Grizzly: Shouldn't you be at school?
Red Puckett: Shouldn't *I* have a lawyer?

[the Wolf is impersonating Granny with a plastic mask and apron]
The Wolf: You got the loot?
Red Puckett: Whoa, what big *hands* you have.
The Wolf: Oh! All the better to scratch my back with.
Red Puckett: And what big *ears* you have...
The Wolf: [increasing in irritation] All the better to hear your... many criticisms. Old people just have big ears, dear.
Red Puckett: And Granny... what big *eyes* you have!
The Wolf: [exploding] Are we just gonna sit around here and talk about how big I'm getting?
[leans in]
The Wolf: You came here for a reason, didn't you? So tell old Granny what you've got in the basket.
Red Puckett: Ugh! Granny! What bad breath you have!
[the Wolf takes off the mask; Red screams and backs away]
Red Puckett: You again! What do I have to do, get a restraining order?
The Wolf: Settle down, little girl.
Red Puckett: Hi-yah!
[Gets into kung-fu stance]
The Wolf: Save it, Red fu. You've been dodging me all day, you might as well just give up.
[Grabs a fireplace poker and corners her]
Red Puckett: Ha! You crazy Wolf! What have you done with Granny?
The Wolf: I'm taking Granny down and you're next.
[Granny bursts out of the closet, bound and gagged]
Red Puckett: Granny!
[Kirk bursts through the window, holding a pickaxe]

[Dolph and Boingo get off the tram at the top terminal]
Dolph: I don't like it. The cops are all over the place.
Boingo: Forget about the cops! We've got everything we need right here!
Dolph: What about the old lady? She's alive. She'll be back.
Boingo: You just don't get it, do you, Dolph? I'm done! I'm done dancing for the man - The Muffin Man! And Granny! They can both take a hike! I'm never gonna answer to anyone ever again!
[Boingo bursts out wailing, then cackles, then cries, all in a matter of seconds, then immediately sobers up]
Boingo: Oh! I just love my job!
[He and Dolph start walking down the loading ramp]
Boingo: You see how it works, Dolph? You prioritize, you set your goals, you write a mission statement. You ask yourself, "Where do I see me in five years?"
Red Puckett: How about behind bars?
[Boingo turns around and sees Red standing at the bottom of the ramp, glaring at him]
Boingo: [surprised] Red! Oh! Hey, Red! What are you- you've spoiled the surprise!
Red Puckett: You're the bandit!
[beat]
Boingo: Surprise!

[while Red is riding her bike, Boingo spots her]
Boingo: Hey, Red!
[hops into her bike basket as she passes]
Boingo: Ohh, nice outfit! Always red with you. You must be in autumn.
Red Puckett: Hey, Boingo. Aren't you helping the Muffin Man today?
Boingo: [glum] Na, he closed up shop. Someone stole all his recipes last night, and now I'm out of a job.
Red Puckett: Oh, geez, Boingo, I'm really sorry. Are you still working the cable car?
Boingo: Yeah, yeah I am but it's not as fun as making goodies all day.
Red Puckett: Would a carrot crumpet make you feel better?
[hands him one]
Boingo: [brightening] Oh boy! Oh boy! Thanks, Red, I can always count on you to deliver, you little rascal... devil!
Red Puckett: Yeah, well, the woods don't go 'round by themselves.


"Once Upon a Time: Child of the Moon (#2.7)" (2012)
[Ruby is convinced to have killed somebody while turned into a wolf. David promises to protect her]
Ruby: I don't need to be protected from other people, David. Other people need to be protected from me.

Ruby: You need to leave. The moon's gonna be up soon.
Belle: But will the chains hold?
Ruby: Hopefully.
Belle: Then I'm staying. Think of it as girls' night.

Ruby: The mob wants a wolf. I'm gonna give them one. I need to pay for all I've done.
Belle: Then they'll kill you!
Ruby: Isn't that what I deserve?

Belle: No matter what you might've done in your past, David sees the good in you, and... and that tells me one thing.
Ruby: What?
Belle: That it's in there. So if we can all see it, why can't you?

[David has managed to calm down the wolf in Ruby]
Ruby: You saved me.
David Nolan: No. You saved yourself. I just reminded you of what you already knew.

David Nolan: Where're you going?
Ruby: I've still got a few hours of wolfstime left. You helped me regain control. I wanna do something I haven't done in a very long time.
David Nolan: What's that?
[Ruby takes off her hood and dumps it onto David]
Ruby: Run.

Quinn: You think I don't know a wolf when I see one?
Red Riding Hood: How do you know what I am?
Quinn: Because I know how to recognize a child of the moon.

Anita: You've grown so much.
Red Riding Hood: You know me?
Anita: [smiles] I'm your mother.

[Red has fatally wounded Anita in order to save Snow from her]
Anita: You chose her.
Red Riding Hood: No. I chose me. I'm not a killer!

Snow White: I'm so sorry. I know what it's like to lose your family.
Red Riding Hood: I didn't lose my family today. I protected it.

Red Riding Hood: My mother wanted me to choose between being a wolf, and being a human. Granny did too. You were the only person who ever thought it was okay for me to be both.
Snow White: 'cause that's who you are.

Red Riding Hood: May you always run free beneath the moon's pale light.
[wolves' farewell blessing to their dead]


"American Playhouse: Into the Woods (#10.1)" (1991)
Little Red Riding Hood: A wolf and a person aren't the same thing.
Witch: Ask a wolf's mother.

Little Red Riding Hood: You can talk to birds?

Little Red Riding Hood: [to Cinderella] You can talk to birds?

[Seeing the door to her Granny's cottage open]
Little Red Riding Hood: Oh dear. How uneasy I feel...

Little Red Riding Hood: Nice is different than Good.

Little Red Riding Hood: Into the woods to bring some bread to Granny who is sick in bed. Never can tell what lies ahead - for all that I know, she's already dead.

Steward: We must be gone if we're to arrive before nightfall.
The Baker: Where are you going?
Lucinda: We're off to a hidden kingdom.
Cinderella's Stepmother: Shhh. We can't take everyone.
Witch: Fools! There is nowhere to hide!
The Baker: You'll never get there. We have to stay and find our way out of this together.
Cinderella's Stepmother: Some people are cut out to battle Giants, and others are not. I don't have the constitution. And as long as I can be of no help, I'm going to hide. Everything will work out fine in the end.
[Cinderella's father, stepmother, stepsisters and the steward exit]
Little Red Riding Hood: I hope the giant steps on them all.
The Bakers Wife: You shouldn't say that!
Witch: You were thinking the same thing.


"Once Upon a Time: Red-Handed (#1.15)" (2012)
Granny: You dress like a drag queen during Fleet Week.
Ruby: And you dress like Norman Bates when he dresses like Norman Bates's mother.

Henry Mills: Want to be a bike messenger?
Ruby: Bike messenger?
Henry Mills: That's about taking things to people in a little basket.
Ruby: Nope. May I say, I'm not so great at bike riding.
Henry Mills: How about taking things on *foot* to people in a little basket?
Ruby: I'm not so sure that's a real job.

Ruby: [showing Emma the box she found buried by the toll bridge] Is... Is that what I think it is?
Emma Swan: Yeah.
Ruby: [turning away] I can't look.
Emma Swan: Are you okay?
Ruby: I don't know what I am.
Emma Swan: It's gonna be all right. We can figure out what happened now. Ruby, you did good.
Ruby: This is doing good?
Emma Swan: Yeah. It's amazing. First you found David, and now this? I know you say you don't know what you are, but whatever it is, I gotta say I'm impressed.
Ruby: [wry laugh] Don't be. I was scared out of my mind.
Emma Swan: But you did it anyway.

Red Riding Hood: Everyone calls me Red.
Snow White: I'm Sn... Frosty.
Red Riding Hood: Frosty? Really?
Snow White: No. It's just that someone's looking for me, so...
Red Riding Hood: You don't know or trust me yet. Hey, I, I get it. I just need something to call you.
Snow White: Uh... Margaret. Erm, no. Uh, Mary. Mary.


Little Red Riding Rabbit (1944)
Little Red Riding Hood: [to the wolf dressed as grandma] Hey, Grandma! That's an awfully big nose for you... TO HAVE!

Little Red Riding Hood: Hey, Grandma! I brought a little bunny rabbit for you - ta HAVE!

Bugs Bunny: [riding in Red Riding Hood's basket] Eh, whatcha got in the basket, gorgeous?
Little Red Riding Hood: I've got a little bunny rabbit I'm taking to my grandma's, to have, see?
[Pulls out one of Bugs's legs]
Bugs Bunny: Hmm. Well, not a bad pair of stems for a rabbit.
Little Red Riding Hood: Yeah, and he's got a cute face, too. See?
[Pulls Bugs out to show him his own face]

[first lines]
Little Red Riding Hood: [singing] The five o'clock whistle's on the blink/ The whistle won't blow and waaadaya think?/ My poppa's still in the factory/ 'Cause he don't know what tiiiiiiiiiime it happens to be!


Into the Woods (2014)
Little Red Riding Hood: Isn't it nice to know a lot... and a little bit not...

Little Red Riding Hood: [singing] Do not put your faith in a cape and a hood, they will not protect you the way that they should. And take extra care with strangers, even flowers have their dangers, and though scary is exciting, nice is different than good.

[singing monotone]
Little Red Riding Hood: Oh dear, how uneasy I feel.


"Once Upon a Time: An Apple Red as Blood (#1.21)" (2012)
Red Riding Hood: Why is the Queen doing this?
Snow White: I destroyed her happiness... and now she wants to destroy mine.

Snow White: Stop trying to talk me out of this. The castle is secure. I'm going.
Grumpy: Keep the little knife between your tuffets.
Snow White: I promised I would come alone and unarmed. It's a parley. There are rules.
Red Riding Hood: You're too noble for your own good.
Snow White: I'm not. But enough of you have risked your lives because of something that's between the Queen and me. I will not let anyone else get hurt because of me.


"Once Upon a Time: In the Name of the Brother (#2.12)" (2013)
[the townspeople are discussing the stranger, the first outsider coming into Storybrooke]
Ruby: So, whatever has kept random people from stumbling into Storybrooke for the last 28 years...
Mary Margaret Blanchard: It's gone.
David Nolan: Anyone could drive in. Why are my instincts telling me that's a bad thing?
Leroy: 'cause you've seen E.T. or Splash, or any other movie where they find somet'n' magical and study it to death. Think what they'd do to a werewolf.
[Ruby gives him a look]

Ruby: Look, you're Frankenstein. And I'm the werewolf. I *ate* my boyfriend. Regina thought she was punishing us by erasing who we were. But I think she underestimated how much crap we wanted to forget.


"Once Upon a Time: Pilot (#1.1)" (2011)
[Emma is checking in at Granny's Bed & Breakfast]
Granny: Would you like a forest view or a square view? Normally, there's an upgrade fee for the square, but as rent is due, I'll waive it.
Emma Swan: Square is fine.
Granny: Now, what's the name?
Emma Swan: Swan. Emma Swan.
Mr. Gold: [suddenly behind her] Emma! What a lovely name.
Emma Swan: Thanks.
Granny: [handing him the rent money] It's all here.
Mr. Gold: Yes, yes, of course it is, dear, thank you. You enjoy your stay... Emma.
[leaves]
Emma Swan: Who's that?
Ruby: Mr. Gold. He owns this place.
Emma Swan: The inn?
Granny: No. The town.


"Once Upon a Time: Broken (#2.1)" (2012)
Leroy: The curse? It's broken?
David Nolan: It would appear so.
Ruby: So, what do we do now?
Mary Margaret Blanchard: Now? Now I find my daughter.
Emma Swan: [appearing behind them] So it's true.
[Mary Margaret and David turn to face Emma; they share a long silent look, then Mary Margaret embraces Emma, crying]
Mary Margaret Blanchard: You found us!


The Hollywood Knights (1980)
Newbomb Turk: [Wearing a wolf mask] Hey, Red Riding Hood, wanna be eaten by the Big, Bad Wolf?
Red Riding Hood: [flips him off] Fuck you Newbomb.


"Once Upon a Time: We Are Both (#2.2)" (2012)
[Granny comes to the town meeting with a crossbow]
Ruby: Granny, do you really need that?
Granny: We got a lawless town, Ruby. Damn right I need it.


"Once Upon a Time: Lady of the Lake (#2.3)" (2012)
Red Riding Hood: We have to move camp. They're coming for us.
Prince Charming: No! We will not run! We said we were gonna take the kingdom back and we can't do that with our tails between our legs... No offense.


"Once Upon a Time: Welcome to Storybrooke (#2.17)" (2013)
Ruby: I cannot believe you put me on the early shift!
Granny: Not my fault, you stayed out all night. When I put 'over easy' on the menu, I was talking about the eggs!