Franklin D. Roosevelt
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Sunrise at Campobello (1960)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: [putting on his hat to wave at the photographers that he has eluded by boarding the train secretly] Do I look snappy?

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: I have no intention of retiring to Hyde Park and rusticating.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: I feel I've had to go through the fire for some reason. Eleanor, it's a hard way to learn humility, but I've had to learn it by crawling. I know what is meant "You must learn to crawl, before you can walk."

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: When you're forced to sit a lot, and watch others move about, you feel apart, lonely - because you can't get up and pace around.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Louis, why in hell must you keep pacing up and down?
Louis Howe: I'm nervous!

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: I often think of something Woodrow Wilson said to me. It is only once in a generation the people can be lifted above material things. That is why conservative government is in the saddle for two thirds of the time.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: There is nothing so unattractive to a party as a defeated candidate.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Good morning to you, Mr. Howe. You're looking your usual dyspeptic self.
Louis Howe: None of your amiable chatter, please.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Caution, my friend, is the refuge of cowards.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Most of our blessings come in heavy disguises.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: I have no personal complaints. I'm lucky. I had rich parents.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: God has an infinite variety of tasks. I don't believe he's available as campaign manager.

Eleanor Roosevelt: Franklin, may I say a word?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Certainly, if you're going to agree with me.
Eleanor Roosevelt: Then I have nothing to say.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: That is hardly a sign of wifely devotion.


Warm Springs (2005) (TV)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: [FDR is in the swimming pool] But I don't know how to stand.
Aunt Sally: Not yet, you don't.
Tom Loyless: But you will.

Eleanor Roosevelt: [Franklin D. Roosevelt and Eleanor are headed toward the pool in Warm Springs] Tell me again why we came here?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: [somewhat impatiently] For the waters. Are you coming?

Louis Howe: [FDR is supposed to make a speech] What's the matter?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: What if I fall?
Louis Howe: If you fall, you just get up again.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: If I fall in front of thousands of people, I'll lose everything - except their pity. They'll never see past my legs.
Eleanor Roosevelt: My darling, they'll never see past your legs - until you do.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: [on first arriving at Warm Springs] This place should be condemned!
Tom Loyless: We have seen better times. But then, I imagine, so have you.

Helena Mahoney: I feel like I've been brought here under false pretenses.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Join the club.

Louis Howe: Why are you a Democrat?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: The Democratic Party is the party of the people, and I'm a man of the people.
Louis Howe: You're a Roosevelt. Since when does a Roosevelt know about people?

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: You never pitied me, Tom. Thank you for that.
Tom Loyless: On the contrary; I envy you.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: [Fred Botts' mother will not led him ride a bicycle because she believes that it gave him polio] Did she sell it?
Fred Botts: No; she took it out back and shot it.
[Roosevelt roars with laughter]

Tom Loyless: Oh, Peabody'll sell, all right.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: What makes you think he will?
Tom Loyless: Have you taken a look at this place?

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Don't talk to me as if I were a child!
Eleanor Roosevelt: How am I supposed to talk to you?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Like I *was*!
Eleanor Roosevelt: I don't know how to, any more.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: [on his plans to run for office] When I can walk, I'll run.


FDR: American Badass! (2012)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Does my cock still work?

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: MOTHERFUCKERRR!

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Fuck Polio!

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Aw, shit Goblins!

Louis: How are you feeling, Frank?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Like a bag full of dicks at a lesbian convention.

Reporter Robert Bruckner: What was it like being attacked by a werewolf, Governor?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: About the same as having your money in the stock market these days.

Louis: Here's the paper, by the way.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Thank you. Let's see... Oh, American hero and werewolf killer... Franklin Delano announces he's running for President... Thank you, Mmm-hmm... I hope it mentions something about my cock still working.
Louis: No.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Well, shit, call them up! I want a press release first thing in the morning.
Louis: Before we do that...
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Let's leak them a picture, too.

Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Beautiful melons, Ma'am.
Marietta Buford: They sure are ripe for the picking!
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: I meant your tits.
Marietta Buford: So did I.

Cleavon Buford: Congressman Cleavon Baybridge Buford... 'Repube,' Georgia.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Nice to meet you.
Cleavon Buford: Yes, you too.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Did you just say 'Repube?'
Cleavon Buford: Mmm-hmm... yes, sir.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: You mean Republican?
Cleavon Buford: No, sir. The form I filled out when I ran for Congress said 'Repube' on it. It was a professional form, sir. It was typed on paper... maybe even double spaced.
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: I think you meant 'Repub,' short for Republican.
Cleavon Buford: No, sir! I saved the form, sir. It is inside a folder marked official on it, so I know that it is real.


Pearl Harbor (2001)
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: I like sub commanders. They have no time for bullshit, and neither do I.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Yesterday, December 7, 1941, a date which will live in infamy, the United States Of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by Naval and Air Forces of the Empire of Japan. It is obvious that planning the attack began many weeks ago, during the intervening time the Japanese Government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace. The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American military forces, I regret to tell you that over three thousand American lives have been lost. No matter how long it may take us to over come this pre-meditated invasion, the American people in their righteous might will win through to absolute victory. Because of this unprovoked, dastardly attack by Japan, I ask that the congress declare a state of War.

General: Mr. President, with all due respect, sir... what you're asking can't be done.
[President struggles and gets out of wheelchair]
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: [serious tone] Do not tell me it can't be done.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt: How long is America going to pretend, that the world is not at war? From Berlin, Rome and Tokyo, were have been described as a nation of weaklings and playboys who hire British or Russian, or Chinese soldiers, to do our fighting for us. We've been trained to think we're invincible, and our people think Hitler and his Nazi thugs are Europe's problem. We have to do more. Does anyone think that victory is possible without facing danger? At times like these we all need to be reminded who we truely are. That we will not give up or give in.


Reefer Madness: The Movie Musical (2005) (TV)
FDR: A little orphan girl once told me that the sun would come out tomorrow. Her adopted father was a powerful billionaire so I suppressed the urge to laugh in her face, but now, by gum, I think she may have been on to something!

FDR: Hold on, boys! I, for one, would like to hear what the blood-spattered young lady has to say.


Winchell (1998) (TV)
Franklin D. Roosevelt: I've got a scoop for you, Walter. Senator Taft is a horse's aft.

Franklin D. Roosevelt: The face of fear is coming. And when it comes, Walter, you'll answer to no one, not even me.


Pearl Harbor II: Pearlmageddon (2001)
Aide: Sir, there's urgent news coming in from Pearl.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: [whispering] Tell her, the affair is *over*.
Aide: Not Bailey, sir. Harbor.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Harbor? I barely know her!
[laughs]
Aide: *Pearl Harbor*, sir.

President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Dammit, man. Is it the Japs again?
Aide: No sir.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Nazis?
Aide: No.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Italians?
Aide: No.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Russians?
Aide: No...
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Brits?
Aide: [disgusted] No!
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: French?
[Aide makes a buzzer sound]
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Poles?
Aide: Nope!
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Swedes?
Aide: Ah, you're not even trying.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: [takes a breath] Egyptians?
Aide: Negative.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Iraqi?
Aide: Oh sir, don't be ridiclous. The only way they could be a threat is if we arm them ourselves.
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: Dammit man! Woahh!
[President Franklin D. Roosevelt gets up, and then falls down behind his desk]
President Franklin D. Roosevelt: [whsipering, and peering out from behind the desk] Was it us?
Aide: No sir, its much, much worse than that.


Annie (1982)
FDR: I want to feed them and house them and pay them. Not much, but enough to send home to their parents. So they can hold their heads up again and be proud to be Americans.
Annie: That's a swell idea.
Daddy Warbucks: It isn't a swell idea Annie. It's mistaken foolishness.

FDR: Everyone - Republicans too, Oliver - sing!


"Robot Chicken: That Hurts Me (#1.19)" (2005)
Franklin D. Roosevelt: The only thing we have to dear, is fear itself!
Audience member 1: And spiders!
Franklin D. Roosevelt: ...Well yes. And spiders. That goes without saying...
Audience member 2: And snakes!
Franklin D. Roosevelt: Yes... snakes too.
Audience member 3: And don't forget werewolves!
Franklin D. Roosevelt: There is no such thing!
[Everyone starts to argue]

Franklin D. Roosevelt: Okay! So the only thigns we have to fear are spiders, snakes, WEREWOLVES, sharks, dying alone, zombies, clowns, heights, big dogs, robots with human brains, Johnson's wife, AND fear itself!


Cash and Carry (1937)
Moe: And when they told us the money was yours, you could've knocked us down with a gold bar! And that's the whole story, Mr. President, s'help me!
President Roosevelt: I see. Well, Jimmy, I shall arrange personally for your operation.
Jimmie: Thank you, Mr. President.
President Roosevelt: And as for you gentlemen, in view of the extenuating circumstances, I find it possible to extend to you executive clemency.
Curly: Oh, no! Please, not that!
[Moe stomps his foot]
Curly: Ow!
Moe: Mr. President means we're free!
Curly: No!
Moe: Yeah!
Curly: Gee, Mr. President, you're a swell guy!
Moe: You said it!


"Futurama: All the Presidents' Heads (#6.20)" (2011)
Philip J. Fry: [about a piece of currency being fake] Duh! It says Colony of Maffasuchets.
Bender: [Snorts] More like Tax-a-ffusechets.
Benjamin Franklin: That's just how we print the s's, you ftupid fhitheads!


Hyde Park on Hudson (2012)
FDR: We think they see all our flaws. But, that's not what they are looking to find when they look to us.


"Voyagers!: Destiny's Choice (#1.17)" (1983)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Mama's right. I best stick to my writing. I can't do Al Smith any good making a nominating speech from a wheelchair.
Phineas Bogg: [gets some crutches] How about these?
Franklin Delano Roosevelt: I have never used them.
Phineas Bogg: Well you're gonna learn. So the delegates and the whole world can see you nominate Al Smith on your feet.


Eleanor and Franklin (1976) (TV)
Franklin Delano Roosevelt, age 20-50: [he is going swimming in the lake with his wife and children] Come on! Last one in is a rotten Kaiser!


Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter Sequels (2012)
FDR: The only thing you had to fear... was ME!
[slays defeated dragon]