Lyndon B. Johnson
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Quotes for
Lyndon B. Johnson (Character)
from LBJ (2016)

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Path to War (2002) (TV)
Lyndon Baines Johnson: Pack your suitcase, we're goin' to Vietnam.

Lyndon Baines Johnson: [Looking at the fighter jet escort next to Air Force One] Dean!
Dean Rusk, Secretary of State: Are they ours?
Lyndon Baines Johnson: I fuckin' hope so.

Lyndon Baines Johnson: Haven't you been paying attention? Hell, they got hundred-year-old women re-supplying them!

McGeorge Bundy, National Security Advisor: The South Vietnamese are useless, Mr. President. They've lost four battalions in the last month. Desertions are at record levels. They're losing, and they're losing fast.
Lyndon Baines Johnson: I know they're losing! I don't need a Phi Beta Kappa key to know they're losing! Anyone smart enough to pour piss out of a boot knows they're losing!

Lyndon Baines Johnson: How many planes will we lose?
Gen. Earle 'Buzz' Wheeler: 20 to 25.
Lyndon Baines Johnson: How many casualties?
Gen. Earle 'Buzz' Wheeler: 50.
Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defense: 50 to 300 is my estimate, and if the bombs miss, it can go as high as 12,000, with fifty percent of these civilians and fifty percent of those killed.
Gen. Earle 'Buzz' Wheeler: Of course, we don't plan these strikes to miss our targets.
Lyndon Baines Johnson: But you do miss sometimes. And this time you could hit a Russian ship. And the bomber pilot will be a kid from Johnson City, Texas, and that'll be the kid that starts World War III, thank you very much.

Lyndon Baines Johnson: They don't need damn trucks! Weren't you watching? They've got hundred-year-old women hauling crap! What do you want me to do, kill everyone's grandmother in that place?

Gen. Earle 'Buzz' Wheeler: The bridge is a major target, and we've never hit it. Chances of civilian deaths will be almost zero.
Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defense: I say 100 to 500, possibly more!
Lyndon Baines Johnson: Which is it? 500 or zero?

Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defense: This is a heavily-defended target in a very populated area.
Gen. Earle 'Buzz' Wheeler: The photos are right here, Mr. President ...
Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defense: The photos are meaningless! The target is heavily defended. The pilots jettison their bombs while they're under attack. Now, I've been asking for two years why they don't just come straight up the river - that way, they dump their bombs, they go in the water and not on the people, and I still haven't got an answer!
Gen. Earle 'Buzz' Wheeler: Coming in from the gulf involves an extra turn, with our backs to those heavy defenses.
Dean Rusk, Secretary of State: If it is so well defended, should we risk the pilots? Men dying is a relative thing.
Gen. Earle 'Buzz' Wheeler: The effect of the air campaign is cumulative. Every blow makes the enemy stretch his resources.
Robert McNamara, Secretary of Defense: Stretching is a relative thing. Mr. President, we shouldn't be bombing for punitive reasons, but there just doesn't seem to be any point to this anymore!
Lyndon Baines Johnson: Hit it! Hit the goddamn bridge.

Lyndon Baines Johnson: [to Jack Valenti] You know, Jack, I want war like I want polio.


Selma (2014)
President Lyndon B. Johnson: Are you trying to shit me, George Wallace? Are you trying to fuck over your president?

President Lyndon B. Johnson: [Speaking to George Wallace] I'll be damned to let history put me in the same place as the likes of you.

President Lyndon B. Johnson: There is no Negro problem. There is no Southern problem. There is no Northern problem. There is only an American problem.

President Lyndon B. Johnson: And we shall overcome.

Martin Luther King Jr.: We need your involvement here, Mr. President. We deserve your help as citizens of this country. Citizens under attack.
President Lyndon B. Johnson: Now, you listen to me. You listen to me. You're an activist. I'm a politician. You got one big issue. I got a hundred and one.

President Lyndon B. Johnson: We shouldn't even be thinking about 1965, we should be thinking about 1985.

President Lyndon B. Johnson: But when you have people coming inside the White House, inside the White House, on a tour, they just sat down, Martin, sat down in the main corridor and started singing and shouting, well, I won't have it!

President Lyndon B. Johnson: Either King stops or Wallace stops or I'll stop them both!


All the Way (2016) (TV)
Lyndon B. Johnson: I'm gonna need another set of those cufflinks.

Lady Bird Johnson: Would you like some more gravy?
Sen. Richard Russell: Oh, Lady Bird, it was delicious, but I just couldn't possibly, no. Thank you.
Lyndon B. Johnson: Hey, what about me? Aren't you going to offer me any more gravy?
Lady Bird Johnson: Oh, honey, I'd like to, but I can't.
Lyndon B. Johnson: Bird's got me on a diet. Got Zephyr there in kitchen weighing my plates for every meal. Ridiculous!
Sen. Richard Russell: [Snarling] Your wife doesn't want you to get too big for your britches. An entirely understandable concern.
Lady Bird Johnson: [as Johnson smiles smugly, Lady Bird leaves the room] I think I'll see how Zephyr coming with that cobbler.

Lyndon B. Johnson: Clausewitz said "Politics is war by other means."... Bullshit. Politics is War... Period. You know how you win a campaign, by not losing it. I only lost one election my whole life. The son of a bitch stole it from me in the final seconds with a handful of fake votes, I will carry the pain of that with me to my dying day. But I'll tell you what, nobody will ever do me that way again, It'll be some other way.

Lyndon B. Johnson: Everett, what's this bull-shit about how I treat my dog?
Everett Dirksen: I'm sorry?
Lyndon B. Johnson: My dog, Little Beagle Johnson. Why are you bein' such a shit-heel with the press about me pullin' on his ears? Little sum bitch loves havin' his ears pulled. Hell, I thought you were running the Senate Republicans, not the ASPCA.

Lyndon B. Johnson: You need to make up your mind once-and-for-all, what kind of Christian you are? Are you a once-a-week fella or do you hold the word in your heart? What kind of politician are ya? Are you just out for yourself or do you want to make a better life for all the people in Georgia? What kind of man are ya? You've got the balls to do what you know is right, or do you just slink away?

Lyndon B. Johnson: [turning down Dirksen's project] Nope.
Everett Dirksen: No?
Lyndon B. Johnson: No.
Everett Dirksen: No?
Lyndon B. Johnson: We have echo in here?


The Right Stuff (1983)
Chief Scientist: I agree with those who say we could launch a pod.
Lyndon Johnson: A pot?
Chief Scientist: A POD - a, uh, capsule. Now, we would be in full control of zis pod. It vill go up like a cannonball, and come down like, uh, a cannonball, splashing down into ze water, the ocean, vith a parachute to spare the life of the specimen inside.
Lyndon Johnson: Spaceman?
Chief Scientist: SPE-CI-MEN.
Lyndon Johnson: Well, what kind of spe-ci-men?
Chief Scientist: A tough one. Responsive to orders. I had in mind a jimp.
Lyndon Johnson: JIMP? Well what the HELL is a jimp?
Chief Scientist: A jimp. A-a-a jimpanzee, Senator. An ape.

Lyndon Johnson: And as I was sayin', whoever controls the high ground of space controls the world. The Roman Empire controlled the world because it could build roads. Later, the British Empire was dominant because they had ships. In the Air Stage, we were powerful because we had the airplane. And now the Communists have established a foothold in outer space. Pretty soon they'll have damned space platforms so they can drop nuclear bombs on us, like rocks from a highway overpass. Now HOW IN THE HELL did they ever get ahead of us?

Lyndon Johnson: Gladiolas! Isn't there anybody who can deal with a housewife?


Jackie (2016/V)
Bobby Kennedy: [right after Lee Harvey Oswald's murder on TV] You'll not speak a word of this! Understood? I'll tell Jackie when the time is right. Sit down.
Lyndon B Johnson: Excuse me?
Bobby Kennedy: Sit down.


"Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In: Episode #2.7" (1968)
Lyndon B. Johnson: I have just one question: What was Spiro Agnew's name before Professor Backwards got hold of it?


Hillary's America: The Secret History of the Democratic Party (2016)
One of two unspecified governors on Air Force One: Why do you want these War on Poverty and Great Society programs so much?
President Lyndon B. Johnson: I'll have them niggers voting Democratic for the next two hundred years.
[re: "Inside the White House" by Ronald Kessler, p.33]


Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (2004) (VG)
President Johnson: You are above even The Boss. I hereby award you the title of Big Boss. You are a true patriot.