Fat Albert
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Quotes for
Fat Albert (Character)
from "Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids" (1972)

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Fat Albert (2004)
[repeated line]
Fat Albert: Hey, hey, hey!

Salesman: [Helping the guys pick out clothes] Hey, I know big, and you my friend... are *big*.
Fat Albert: ...and Fat, I'm Fat Albert.
Salesman: Well, when I'm done with you, you're gonna be... *big* Al.

Dumb Donald: Are you ready? 'Cause when I buck-buck, you better duck-duck.
Lead Teen: Are you gonna buck-buck, or are you just gonna talk talk?
Dumb Donald: Buck buck number 6, Comin'!
[runs and jumps on the pile]
Lead Teen: Yes! We held! Now we're the buck-buck champions!
Bill: Hold on. We've still got one more guy.
Lead Teen: Bring him out then.
Bill: Come on out, Fa-a-a-at Albert! He loves to hear us call his name.
Fat Albert: Hey, hey, hey! Who wants to play?
Lead Teen: Oh, no! Run! I got a bad back.

Fat Albert: Hey, hey, hey, I said I'm gonna stay.
Bill: Hey, hey, *hey*, friends don't let friends fade away.
Fat Albert: Don't use my lines on me.

Doris: Fat Albert, wait! I finally figured out who you remind me of. You remind me of my grandfather.
Fat Albert: Hey, hey, hey, that's a nice thing to say.

Fat Albert: Hey, hey, hey! Who wants to play?

Bill Cosby: [after hearing a knock at his door] Oh, people wait 'til you get to the top of the stairs, then they knock. WHO IS IT?
Fat Albert: It's Fat Albert!
Bill Cosby: Yeah, right.
[Bill Cosby answers the door. Fat Albert is on his doorstep]
Fat Albert: Hello. I'm looking for Mr. Cosby. Are you his dad?
[Fat Albert holds out his hand]
Fat Albert: I'm... I'm Fat Albert.
[Bill Cosby faints and Fat Albert catches him]
Fat Albert: Whoa! Uh... Help! He...

Salesman: [after adding up the prices of clothes that Fat Albert tried on] That'll be $10,428 and 22 cents.
Fat Albert: Uh, I... I don't have any money.
Salesman: Why didn't you tell me that?
Fat Albert: You didn't ask.
[the salesman grabs back his clothes]

Fat Albert: You can't let fear keep you from caring about someone, because, caring about someone... is wonderful! A person you think about, and they think about you, and you both know you're thinking of each other... , and it's just fantastic to know that there is somebody out there in the world thinking about you.

Fat Albert: [to the clerk] Oh. I can't take off my sweater because...
[whispers]
Fat Albert: I don't know what's under it.

Doris: [Comes down the stairs] Hi, guys.
Dumb Donald: You look TIGHT!
Fat Albert: [Nudges Dumb Donald, whispers] What did you just say?
Dumb Donald: Oh, I learned it at the mall!
Fat Albert: Don't talk about Doris like that.