Goldmember
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Quotes for
Goldmember (Character)
from Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)

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Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002)
Goldmember: Dr. Evil, can I paint his yoo-hoo gold? It's kind of my thing, you know.
Dr. Evil: [comes over to Goldmember] How 'bout no, you crazy Dutch bastard?

Goldmember: I am from Holland. Isn't that vierd? Yesh!

Goldmember: I love gooooooold.

Goldmember: Dr. Evil, we still have the ultimate insurance policy. May I present to you, the very sexual, the very toite, Austin Power's fahza.
Dr. Evil: His what?
Number 2: His fahza, Dr. Evil.
Dr. Evil: His farger? What's a farger?
Goldmember: His fahza. You know, the fahza.
Dr. Evil: You know Goldmember, I don't speak freaky-deaky Dutch. Okay, perv boy?
Goldmember: Fahza, his dad, dad is fahza.
Dr. Evil: Oh, his dad. His *fa-ther*

Goldmember: Right in the kanickies.

Nigel Powers: All right Goldmember. Don't play the laughing boy. There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch.
Goldmember: What? Take the fahza away! Dutch hater! And now, it is time to say goodbye. Dr. Evil's orders. Which, for you, is bad news bears,
[talks in a deep vioce]
Goldmember: Walter Matthau.

Goldmember: Dr. Evil, You look very toit. Yesh, toit like a toiger. Yesh Yesh Yesh.
Dr. Evil: You know, Goldmember? I don't think that's something one dude should say to another dude. Yeah. A little creepy. Mmhmm.

Goldmember: [picking skin off his back] Oh yesh. Yesh yesh yesh yesh. This is a keeper.
Dr. Evil: Alright, you're not going to put that skin in your mouth, are you?
Goldmember: [eats piece of skin]
Dr. Evil: You did. Okay, that's just gross.
[Mini-Me cringes and shakes head]
Goldmember: Yesh, shalty. Yesh, that was good.

Goldmember: Would you like a shmoke und a pancake?
Austin Powers: A what?
Goldmember: A shmoke und a pancake. You know, a flapjack und a shigarette? No? Shigar und a waffle? No? Pipe und a crepe? No? Bong und a blintz? No? Well, then there ish no pleashing you.
Austin Powers: That's not right...

Goldmember: Look. My vinky was a key.
Nigel Powers: Only a bloody Dutchman...

Austin Powers: You're insane, Goldmember.
Goldmember: And that's the way, uh huh, uh huh, I like it
[mutters]
Goldmember: KC and the Sunshine Band.

Goldmember: I vant everyone to have an Amsterdam good time.

Dr. Evil: All right, it's getting crowded in here. Everyone out. Everyone out. C'mon.
[Everyone starts to leave]
Dr. Evil: Not you, Scottie. Not you, Number 2. Not you, Frau. Not you, Goldmember. Not you, guys back there. Not you, henchman holding wrench. Not you, henchman arbitrarily turning knobs, making it seem like you're doing something.
[Scott and Dr. Evil look at Mini Me]
Dr. Evil: Ohh, this is uncomfortable.
Goldmember: Heheheh, the tiny one can't take a hint, Heheheheh. He doesn't understand he's small.

Goldmember: [to Dr. Evil] You look like a Macho Man.
Goldmember: [in a deep voice] Village People.

Dr. Evil: Lower the globe.
Frau Farbissina: LOWER THE GLOBE!
Dr. Evil: [Earth Globe lands on Dr. Evil's head and head goes through Globe] OW! Ow!
Goldmember: Shizer!
Dr. Evil: Well, Congratulations, Numb-Nuts! You've succeeded in turnin' me into a frickin' Jack-In-The-Box!Get it off. Get it off! It's Dark, it's dark!

Famous Goldmember: [as Goldmember in the film within a film, after being caught] Hey assholes. So do I have time for a last smoke and a pancake or what?