Michael Jackson
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Quotes for
Michael Jackson (Character)
from Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story (2004) (TV)

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Space Channel 5: Part 2 (2002) (VG)
Ulala: Space Michael!
Space Michael: Get out of here Ulala, this is a trap!

Space Michael: [Preparing for a level in which you play in reverse] You have to move, in the opposite direction in which you listen.
Ulala: Roger, when you hear left, go right.

Space Michael: [after Fuse has just fallen to his death and the news station is about to explode] No way... everybody, ge-get out of here! Move! Go!

Space Michael: [after being rescued by Ulala] Thank you Ulala. Thank you so much!

Space Michael: Everyone follow me!

Space Michael: Left. Down. Up.

Space Michael: [Right before fighting a large band of robots] Be careful, everybody stick together!

"South Park: The Jeffersons (#8.6)" (2004)
Blanket: Hey, guys!
Kyle: Hi, Blanket. Uh look, we're going to help my dad chop wood. You wanna come with?
Blanket: Really? You mean it?
Michael Jefferson: [Michael Jackson] Oh yay! My friends are here. Come inside and play.
Stan: Um, actually, Mr. Jefferson, we were seeing if *Blanket* wanted to chop wood with us.
Michael Jefferson: Chop wood? No, that's ignorant. That's poopie work. Blanket and me wanna play.

Michael Jefferson: [after he nearly dropped Blanket out the window, Blanket is crying] Blanket, shh, stop crying. It's okay, here look:
[does the Moonwalk]
Michael Jefferson: Hee hee! Ow! Blanket, shh, hey look, look: I got your nose, Blanket. I got your nose. I got your nose, Blanket, see?
Blanket: Ha ha ha ha.
[tries to play back and actually pulls Michael's nose off]
Blanket: Aah!
Michael Jefferson: No, Blanket, stop. It's ignorant, you're being ignorant.

Michael Jefferson: [a police spotlight shines on him] Gah!
[in a frightened tone]
Michael Jefferson: Hee hee!

"The Simpsons: Stark Raving Dad (#3.1)" (1991)
Homer Simpson: [after Leon moonwalks] How do you do that thing with your feet?
Leon Kompowsky: You mean the moonwalk?
Homer Simpson: No! That thing with your feet!

Leon Kompowsky: You know Bart, when I was growing up I didn't have much money. So you know what I did every time my sisters' birthdays rolled around?
Bart: Stiffed them?
Leon Kompowsky: No Bart, I wrote them a song to show them I cared.
Bart: I can't write a song! I'm only ten.
Leon Kompowsky: ONLY ten?, When I was your age, I had six Gold records.
Bart: Hey, Looney Tunes!
[pulls out the Thriller album]
Bart: THIS is what Michael Jackson looks like! You just look like a big, fat mental patient!
Leon Kompowsky: You'd be amazed how often I hear that, Bart.

Leon Kompowsky: We call this one the Chief. He's been here since 1968. Never says a word. Never moves a muscle.
Homer Simpson: Hey.
Chief: Hey.
[All the doctors gather around muttering and writing notes]
Chief: Well, it's about time someone reached out to me!

"South Park: #REHASH (#18.9)" (2014)
Old Man on the Bus: Oh, you're a hunter; what do you prey upon?
Old Man on the Bus: [to Michael Jackson's sentient escaped hard-light hologram]
Michael Jackson's Hologram: nobody! That's ignorant!
Michael Jackson's Hologram: [standing up and yelling]
Old Man on the Bus: Well, you must have a favorite kind of prey?
Michael Jackson's Hologram: Allegedly! Allegedly! That's ignorant!
Old Man on the Bus: You know, excuse me for saying so, but... you seem kind of transparent.
Michael Jackson's Hologram: That's ignorant, I'm just cold.
Old Man on the Bus: I'm saying, it must make it easier to sneak up on your prey.
Michael Jackson's Hologram: Allegedly! I'm weary of this conversation, can we please stop talking? Please! Ignorant.

Tupac's Hologram: [after sleeping with Sharon] I gotta be leavin' now Sharon. I would leave you my number but I'm just a hologram and shit.
[walks out of the front door]

Mister Lonely (2007)
Michael Jackson: I don't know if you know what it is like to want to be someone else, to not want to look like you look, to hate your own face and to go completely unnoticed. I have always wanted to be someone else. I have never felt comfortable the way I am. All I want is to be better than myself, to become less ordinary and to find some purpose in this world. It is easier to see things in others, to see things you admire and then try and become that. To own a different face, to dance a different dance, and sing a different song. It is out there waiting for us, inviting us to change. It is time to become who we are not. To change our face and become who we want to be. I think the world is a better place that way.

Michael Jackson: It's hard to always laugh when you don't know what people find so funny.

Scary Movie 3 (2003)
Tom: Come here! What did you do with Sue?
MJ: I didn't touch her, I swear!
Tom: I don't believe you!
MJ: Please, for God's sake! She's a girl!

Date Movie (2006)
Michael Jackson Look-A-Like: C'mon! It's just a little Jesus juice!

Man in the Mirror: The Michael Jackson Story (2004) (TV)
Michael Jackson: [Having just dangled his baby out the window] I just wanted to share Blanket with the World.

"South Park: #HappyHolograms (#18.10)" (2014)
Randy Marsh: I love children just as much as you do.
Michael Jackson's Hologram: Allegedly! That was a civil suit and there was no evidence! It's ignorant.
[standing up and yelling, then sitting back down]

"Yacht Rock: Believe in It (#1.5)" (2005)
Michael Jackson: [while Eddie Van Halen plays "Beat It"] Hard rock has got me and Eddie drillin' more cooch than Black and Decker!