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: [to Campana
] You've been unlucky so far, but with me that will change.
: [to Campana, on board the plane to Brazil before it takes off
] Do you like to fly? I love to, but last time we had a problem... we almost crashed. It was at Orly; the wing flaps got stuck. We nosed into a field.
[Campana stares at Perrin
] François Perrin
: Happens often, it seems.
: [to Campana, talking about Mademoiselle Martin
] I like her... she helped me up when I was electrocuted. Campana
: Electrocuted? François Perrin
: At the office, plugging in the orange juice machine.
[he looks up at Campana and smiles
] François Perrin
: I got juice, all right.
: [Campana has just realized that Arbal, the man they're looking for, was in the gambling club they just left
] Okay, you have no memory for faces; it's no tragedy.
: [he's just realized that Perrin is sinking in quicksand
] What's happening now? François Perrin
: I don't know... I'm sinking. Campana
: Why? François Perrin
: I don't know why. Campana
: Stop clowning when I talk to you! François Perrin
: I'm not clowning! I'm really sinking! Campana
: Why aren't *I* sinking? François Perrin
: You're on good sand and I'm in quicksand. *You're* the one who wanted a short cut! Campana
: And you don't even react? François Perrin
: If I do, I'll go in farther... everyone knows that! Campana
: Perrin, they didn't show any quicksand on the map! François Perrin
: Then it's time they did!
: [Campana has just pulled Perrin out of the quicksand; Perrin laughs
] Shit! I lost a shoe! Campana
: [slowly smiles and also laughs
] Don't you ever rest?
: [the guards are coming to their cell
] Here they come! They'll pick one of us at random and beat him to a pulp! That's their idea of fun! François Perrin
: [to Campana
] What'd he day? Campana
: [looks hard at Perrin
] They'll beat one of us up.
[he keeps staring at Perrin
] François Perrin
: [finally notices Campana staring at him
] Why stare at me that way?
: [he notices Campana's shoelace is untied
] Your shoestring... Campana
: [kneels down to tie his shoelace; it breaks. He stares at it, then at Perrin, almost scared
] I broke it! François Perrin
: It's no tragedy. Campana
: [standing up, staring at the broken shoelace in his hand
] It's a sign. François Perrin
: A sign of what? Campana
: [pause, then
] Never mind.
: [to Campana
] So much has happened to me since I met you. Campana
: [looks at Perrin, then
] To me too.
: [they've arrived at the mission; it's a total ruin and deserted
] Did an earthquake do this? François Perrin
: Or a tornado. It reminds me of my parents' house. They had one near Paris. Campana
: A tornado in Paris? François Perrin
: No, I left the gas on and...
[he flips a hand up to indicate what happened, then walks off. Campana stares after him
: [about the Minister
] He's bound to suspect something... I mean, he's not completely stupid. Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: Would you care to bet on that?
: [to Toulouse after his faked murder by Christine
] You taught me a lot, Colonel... there are plenty of revolvers that can fire blanks.
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: [telling Perrin about thw Minister
] This Minister is a perfect idiot... he thinks you are James Bond, Mr. Perrin. François Perrin
: Me? Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: Or to be precise, a combination of James Bond, Mata Hari and J. Edgar Hoover.
: [he's been reading a dossier on Cabrai, chuckling at first at some of the items, then becoming shocked
] But what's the point of it? It's none of my business and all that! Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: I advise you to read that dossier attentively. The truths it contains are our weapons. François Perrin
: But what kind of truths? He wet his bed until the age of twelve! What does it prove? Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: That's not the part that interests us.
[he takes the dossier and reads from it
] Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: In the Army for over twelve years, he has never seen action, only administrative work. Attempted to take some part in the action in Africa; he got into Intelligence and volunteered to take part in interrogations, but during one such interview burst into tears. He went into hysterics, was hospitalized for two months and returned to office work. François Perrin
: So what? Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: Cambrai would like to pass for merciless, but as soon as blood begins to flow our hero cracks, he calls for his mommy to hold his hand, and you may rest assured, Mr. Perrin... he'll be screaming for his mother!
: And what's all this about sending me on a mission? Maurice told me it'd be dangerous.
[Toulouse and Perrache say nothing
] François Perrin
: Well, what about it? Perrache
: I'm impressed; it's pretty good. Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: Yes, he's quite clever, our friend the captain. Perrache
: Convinces the Minister they've got to have The Tall Blond on a mission. Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: A very dangerous one. Perrache
: Obviously; that'd be the point. Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: Preferably fatal, yes. Perrache
: The Tall Blond gets himself killed. François Perrin
: Huh? Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: And we are back in trouble again François Perrin
: What do you mean, "The Tall Blond gets killed"? Perrache
: Or they discover his corpse horribly mutilated someplace. François Perrin
: *My* corpse? Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: Cambrai rushes over to tell that half-witted Minister that I'm a killer. François Perrin
: But you *are* one! You *are* a killer!
: I want Christine right away! Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: All right, you'll get her but in installments. François Perrin
: In what? Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
: Only her ears to begin with, then perhaps her thumbs and a couple of her toes. We'll return her to you... but piece by piece!
: [after hanging up the phone
] That was your sister. Pierre Brochant
: I don't have a sister. François Pignon
: [appears confused
] Really? I asked her who she was, and she said "His sister". Pierre Brochant
: [incredously to himself
] He called Marlène! François Pignon
: She's not your sister? Pierre Brochant
: That's her name! Hissister! Marlène Hissister!
: Sometimes I feel like you're really taking me for an imbecile.
: Are you the one who was supposed to be dining with him tonight? François Pignon
: Yes, how did you know? Did he talk about me? Christine Brochant
: Yes, but even without that, I would have recognized you.
] François Pignon
] I'll call her back, everything will work out! Pierre Brochant
: You idiot! What an idiot!
: Do you sleep with all your editors? Pierre Brochant
: None of your damn business!
: You're asking me to come out of a closet I've never been in!
: You're completely uninteresting.
Belone, the neighbour
: So what's wrong? François Pignon
: I'm about to get fired. Belone, the neighbour
: Well, we can avoid that. François Pignon
: How? Belone, the neighbour
: Come out of the closet. François Pignon
: I'm not gay! Belone, the neighbour
: Does that matter?
: [in Christine's bathroom
] My nose is bleeding. It's stopped now, but I got hit with a bagpipe. Christine
: A bagpipe? François Perrin
: A bagpipe.
: [they're both sitting in Perrin's apartment
] I've got to pee. François Perrin
: [looks at him, then
] Go ahead. Maurice
: [gets up, goes over to Perrin and holds out his hand
] Come with me.
: [leaving Perrin's building in a daze when he runs into Perrin coming in
] There are three dead men in your house. François Perrin
: Eh? Maurice
: I came looking for you. I came here to shoot you... but there are three dead men in your house.
: A man comes home to watch T.V. It's not normal.