Bela Lugosi
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Quotes for
Bela Lugosi (Character)
from Ed Wood (1994)

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Ed Wood (1994)
[Bela Lugosi casts a love spell on Vampira who is on TV while moving his fingers like Dracula]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: My Gosh, Bela, how do you do that?
Bela Lugosi: You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Boy, Mr. Lugosi, you must lead such an exciting life! When is your next picture coming out?
Bela Lugosi: I have no next picture.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: You gotta be joking, a great star like you? You must have dozens of them lined up!
Bela Lugosi: Back in the old days, yes... Now, no one gives two fucks for Bela.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: But you're a big star!
Bela Lugosi: No more. I haven't worked in four years. This business, this town, it chews you up, then spits you out.
[pauses]
Bela Lugosi: I'm just an ex-boogeyman.

Bela Lugosi: They don't want the classic horror films anymore. Today it's all giant bugs. Giant spiders, giant grasshoppers... Who would believe such nonsense?

[Bela Lugosi answers the door on Halloween night wearing his Dracula costume]
Children: Trick or treat!
[At the sight of Dracula, all but one little boy scream and run away]
Bela Lugosi: Aren't you scared, little boy? I'm going to drink your blood!
Little boy: You're not a real vampire. Those teeth don't frighten me.
[Bela looks puzzled. Ed Wood appears next to him in the doorway]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: How 'bout these?
[Pulls out his entire row of front teeth]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: [Little boy screams and runs away]
Bela Lugosi: Hey... How d'you do that?
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Dentures!
[Holds them up]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Lost my pearlies in the war!

[Stepping into water]
Bela Lugosi: GODDAMN, it's cold!
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: It'll warm up once you're in it.
Bela Lugosi: FUCK YOU! You come out here!

Bela Lugosi: I refuse to drive in this country. Too many madmen.

Bela Lugosi: This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in. Your selection is quite shoddy. You are wasting my time.

[while he and the others flee the chaotic premiere of "Bride of the Monster" in a cab]
Bela Lugosi: Now that was a premiere.

[on the phone to Bunny]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Listen, hit the bars, work some parties, and get me transvestites. I need transvestites. All right. Bye.
Bela Lugosi: Eddie, what kind of a movie is this?

Bela Lugosi: Karloff? Sidekick? FUCK YOU! Karloff did not deserve to smell my shit! That limey cocksucker can rot in Hell for all I care!
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: What happened?
Bela Lugosi: How dare that asshole bring up Karloff? You think it takes talent to do Frankenstein? It's all makeup and grunting.
[Mocks Frankenstein]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Bela, I agree with you 100%. Now, "Dracula," that's a role that requires talent.
Bela Lugosi: Of course. Dracula requires presence. It's all in the eyes, and the voice, and the hands...
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: [interrupting] That's right. That's right. You seem a little agitated. You wanna to go outside and get some air?
Bela Lugosi: Bullshit! I'm ready now! Roll the camera!

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: You know, you're, you're much scarier in real life than you are in the movie.
Bela Lugosi: Thank you.

Bela Lugosi: Pull the string! Pull the string!

[pointing to a "Jacob's Ladder" on the set of Bride of the Atom]
Bela Lugosi: I'm not getting near that goddamn thing. One of them burned me in "The Return of Chandu".

[on the reason for the success of 'Dracula(1931)']
Bela Lugosi: They were mythic. They had a poetry to them.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Yes.
Bela Lugosi: And you know what else? The women... the women preferred the traditional monsters.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: The women? Huh?
Bela Lugosi: The pure horror, it both repels, and attracts them, because in their collective unconsiousness, they have the agony of childbirth. The blood. The blood is horror.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: You know, I never thought of that.
Bela Lugosi: Take my word for it. If you want to make out with a young lady, take her to see "Dracula".

Edward D. Wood, Jr.: What are you drinking, Bela?
Bela Lugosi: Formaldehyde
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Straight up or on the rocks?

[Finds Bela ailing]
Bela Lugosi: This happens all the time.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Is there anything I can get for you? Water or a blanket?
Bela Lugosi: Goulash.
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: I don't know how to make goulash.
[See the track marks on Bela's arm]
Edward D. Wood, Jr.: Bela, what's in the needle?
Bela Lugosi: Morphine. With a demerol chaser.

Bela Lugosi: [watching Vampira on TV] I think she's a honey. Look at those jugs.

[Bela, in his Dracula costume, hears the doorbell on Halloween night]
Bela Lugosi: Children! I love children.

Bela Lugosi: [about to start filming at night] "All right, lets shoot this fucker!"

Nurse: Oh my goodness, you gave me the willies! You look like that Dracula guy.
Bela Lugosi: My name is Bela Lugosi... and I wish to commit myself.
Nurse: For what reason?
Bela Lugosi: I have been a drug addict for twenty years. I NEED HELP!

Bela Lugosi: Home? I have no home. Hunted... despised... living like an animal. The jungle is my home! But I will show the world that I can be its master. I shall perfect my own race of people... a race of atomic supermen that will conquer the world!

Criswell: Bela, would you like a wine?
Bela Lugosi: No. I never drink... wine.