Neely O'Hara
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Quotes for
Neely O'Hara (Character)
from Valley of the Dolls (1967)

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Valley of the Dolls (1967)
Neely O'Hara: I didn't have dough handed to me because of my good cheekbones, I had to work for it.

Neely O'Hara: Who are ya hiding from, Helen? The notices couldn't have been that bad.
Helen Lawson: The show just needs a little fine tuning.
Neely O'Hara: Don't worry, sweetheart. If the show folds I can always get a part as understudy for my grandmother.
Helen Lawson: Thanks. I already turned down the part you're playing.
Neely O'Hara: Bull! Merrick isn't that crazy.
Helen Lawson: You oughta know, honey, you just came out of the nuthouse.
Neely O'Hara: It was not a nuthouse!
Helen Lawson: Look. They drummed you right outta Hollywood! So ya come crawlin' back to Broadway. Well, Broadway doesn't go for booze and dope. Now you get outta my way, I got a guy waitin' for me.
Neely O'Hara: That's a switch from the fags you're usually stuck with!
Helen Lawson: At least I never had to MARRY one!
Neely O'Hara: YOU TAKE THAT BACK...
[pulls off Helen's wig while scuffling]
Neely O'Hara: ... oh my God, it's a wig! HER HAIR'S AS PHONY AS SHE IS!
Jennifer North: [She's wearing a very large headdress] I feel a little top heavy.
Play director: [Not meaning the thing on her head] Oh, honey. You are a little top heavy.

Neely O'Hara: Ted Casablanca says he's the joke of the town.
Jennifer North: I wouldn't pay any attention to that. You know how bitchy fags can be!
Neely O'Hara: He's not even 30 and he's made over a million bucks!

Ted Casablanca: You've got your new deal, and I've got my sanity back.
Neely O'Hara: With that little whore?
Ted Casablanca: That little whore makes me feel nine feet tall!

[after catching her bisexual husband with a girl]
Neely O'Hara: All right, faggot! Start explaining!
Ted Casablanca: You need glasses, Neely. She's hardly built like a boy.
Neely O'Hara: I could take that better!
Ted Casablanca: I'm sure you could. You know, you almost made me feel I was queer.

Neely O'Hara: Boobies, boobies, boobies. Nothin' but boobies! Who needs 'em? I did great without 'em.

Mel: You're spending a lot more time than necessary with that fag.
Neely O'Hara: Ted Casablanca is NOT a fag... and I'm the dame who can prove it.

Anne Welles: Neely, you know it's bad to take liquor with those pills.
Neely O'Hara: They work faster.

Neely O'Hara: "I have to get up at five o'clock in the morning and SPARKLE, Neely, SPARKLE!"

Neely O'Hara: I want a doll! I want a doll!

Neely O'Hara: [drunk in a bar] Who's stoned? I am merely traveling incognito.

Man in bar: I wonder what happened to Neely O'Hara.
[snidely]
Man in bar: They SAY she had laryngitis.
Neely O'Hara: [taking a drink - searching for a pill] WHO HAD LARYNGITIS?
Edward - Playhouse Bartender: We're closing now, Miss O'Hara.

Edward - Playhouse Bartender: Shall I call you a cab?
Neely O'Hara: I don't need it - I don't need ANYBODY. I got talent, Edward. BIG talent.
[Standing at doorway, thinking]
Neely O'Hara: They Love me.

Neely O'Hara: [catching her husband in the pool with a girl] Having fun, kiddies? Don't mind me. Go right ahead! I'll watch.
[girl runs away, naked, into the house]
Neely O'Hara: You'd better run, you little tramp. How dare you contaminate my pool! Here.
[empties bottle of alcohol into the pool]
Neely O'Hara: Maybe this will disinfect it.

Neely O'Hara: Mel? God? Neely?... NEEEEEEELYYY O'HARAAAAAAAA!

Mel: Honey, listen, it's a rotten business.
Neely O'Hara: I know. But I love it!

Neely O'Hara's Stage Manager: Neely? Neely open the door, you're on. Neely!
Neely O'Hara: Hi!
Neely O'Hara's Stage Manager: My God. You've got on your costume for the second act.
Neely O'Hara: So? I'll do the second act first!

Neely O'Hara: I'm Neely O'Hara, pal, that's ME singing on that jukebox!
Man in bar: Neely O'Hara sings like a bird. You sound like a frog.

Neely O'Hara: Then I heard she went to Paris to make art films.
[laughs]
Neely O'Hara: Art films? Nudies! That's all they are. Nudies.

Neely O'Hara: You stupid ass nurse! What are you looking at?

Neely O'Hara: Well, what nice fattening thing did you tell Arlene to make tonight?
Mel: Arlene quit. She said you yelled at her.
Neely O'Hara: She was a louse anyway. You said yourself she was taking home all the booze. Other people have loyal help. Why can't we?
Mel: You don't know how to talk to them.
Neely O'Hara: That's your job. You'd better start running this house properly.
Mel: I'm not the butler.
Neely O'Hara: You're not the breadwinner either!

Helen Lawson: Give me that damn wig! What the hell are you doing in there?
Neely O'Hara: Giving it a shampoo. Goodbye, pussycat. Meeowwww!
[flushes toilet]
Helen Lawson: My God, she's throwing it in the can, I'll kill her!
Neely O'Hara: How do you like that? It won't even go down the john!
Helen Lawson: Give me that wig!
Neely O'Hara: Okay, you want it back? Here it comes, special delivery!
[tosses Helen's wet wig over the stall wall, then exits the stall]
Neely O'Hara: So long, Granny. I'll tell your boyfriend not to wait.

Neely O'Hara: I can't stop thinking about that audience tonight. You don't know what it feels like, Mel, when they're all applauding and yelling and whistling. They did whistle, didn't they?
Mel: Oh, yeah, they sure did.
Neely O'Hara: I felt like they were all taking me in their arms and holding me. It's like when you put your hands on me. Only it was - double, triple.

Neely O'Hara: Mel, let's get married.
Mel: I-I thought you'd never ask.
Neely O'Hara: I'm not kidding! I'll be making good money and with your 150 we can really live! We can get a maid to clean up! We can get a mink coat.

Neely O'Hara: Well, I've lost five pounds already. These pills are really great, Jen. They kill your appetite. Only trouble is they pep me up so much I can't sleep.

Mel: Now, you're just like all the rest of 'em. Success is too big for you.
Neely O'Hara: If you ask me, my success is too big - for you!
Mel: Yeah, sure. Sugar!

Ted Casablanca: You're always too tired and too full of those damn dolls.
Neely O'Hara: You've got guts! I catch you red-handed with a naked broad in my pool and you sermonize me!
Ted Casablanca: Not a sermon, Neely, just a few cold facts.
Neely O'Hara: Ted, you know how hard I work. When I come home, I'm exhausted. How can I think of sex?

Lyon Burke: They're going to replace you with a younger girl.
Neely O'Hara: Younger? Lyon, I'm 26!
Lyon Burke: You look 36.

Neely O'Hara: What do you want me to do?
Lyon Burke: I want you to go to a sanitarium - and dry out.
Neely O'Hara: A sanitarium?
Lyon Burke: I'm sorry, it's the only solution.

Neely O'Hara: I'm scared. I've forgotten how to sleep without dolls. I can't get through a day without a doll. Please, Lyon, don't send me there. I need a doll! Lyon, don't leave me here! Just give me a doll! Just one! Lyon!

Neely O'Hara: They ordered me to take off my nightgown. I told them to "drop dead". They took it off for me.

Neely O'Hara: In the afternoon we had: recreation hour. You never saw such a bunch of well breed kooks. They all acted as normal as apple pie.

Neely O'Hara: I started playing checkers with this real cute looking little girl. All of the sudden, she leans over and gets a half-nelson on my hair and accuses me of telling the rest of the inmates that she's a latent homosexual.

Neely O'Hara: Jennifer, shame on you! Hey, still got that mole on your keister? Nope! They covered it up with make-up.

Neely O'Hara: What am I going to do?
Lyon Burke: Anne and I want you to go to a sanitarium, in Los Angeles.
Neely O'Hara: A nuthouse.
Anne Welles: No. Its the same place that Tony is in.
Neely O'Hara: Anne, I'm not nutty. I am just hooked on dolls!

Mel: [enjoying Tony Polar's nightclub singing, where he is flirting openly with Jennifer] Miriam's not gonna like that.
Neely O'Hara: Who's Miriam?
Mel: His sister, over there. She manages him. She does very well. He won't make a move without her.
Neely O'Hara: [shrugs] He's making one now.