Napolon Bonaparte
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Quotes for
Napolon Bonaparte (Character)
from Désirée (1954)

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Conquest (1937)
Countess Pelagia Walewska: Who are you?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I am Napoleon!
Countess Pelagia Walewska: Napoleon? Napoleon who?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Hmm? Bonaparte!
Countess Pelagia Walewska: Napoleon Bonaparte? What kind of name is that? What nationality are you?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Corsican by birth. French by adoption. Emperor by achievement.
Countess Pelagia Walewska: So, you are an Emperor, are you? What are you Emperor of?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Emperor of France, madame.
Countess Pelagia Walewska: Hee, hee, hee. So you are Emperor of France. And my very good friend, His Majesty, King Louis Sixteenth abdicated in your honor, I suppose?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Well, he didn't know it at the time but in a sense he did, madame.
Countess Pelagia Walewska: This house is getting to be a lunatic asylum.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I must get to know the Poles better!

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Are you real? Or, born of a snow drift?
Countess Marie Walewska: Whichever your majesty wishes.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Snow vanishes. I prefer you real. Quite real.

Count Anastas Walewski: I am 75 years old, sire.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: And Madame is your first wife?
Count Anastas Walewski: My third, sire.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Let me congratulate you, Chamberlain, on your excellent taste. How old are you, Madame?
Countess Marie Walewska: If that is a command, sire, it is one that women have a right to disobey.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Very well spoken. I do not forget courage in either man or woman. Is this gentleman your son?
Count Anastas Walewski: Yes, sire.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: And this?
Count Anastas Walewski: My grandson.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I congratulate you, Madame. For a grandmother, you are extraordinarily well preserved. I regret, I did not know you when you were young.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I shall send it up to you, invite you to my quarters.
Countess Marie Walewska: I have a husband, sire.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: He's four times your age!
Countess Marie Walewska: He has his dignity. He has his honored name. He has his pride. And so have I, sire.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Now I understand. So, it is pride you have in common!
Countess Marie Walewska: That does not become a conqueror, sire.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: When you have conquered, Madame, you may instruct me.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I understand perfectly. You have chosen to play the coquette with me.
Countess Marie Walewska: Why, I have no idea of playing the coquette, sire.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: That's so much the better. I prefer coquette only when it is instinctive. But, now you must make amends. You've made me woo you. All week! A week of hours that might have been filled with happiness for us both. You are the only woman, whose favor I have ever begged for.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Let me have this too. It hides your lovely hair.
[Removes Countess Walewska's hat]
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: That's better. What soft hair. Like a child's. Mmm. I love this face. At the ball, I couldn't keep my eyes away from it. All the while, Tallyrand and the others were talking about politics, I was thinking, I must take that proud face between my hands. I must kiss that mouth. That lovely mouth, made only for love.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: You shy, Marie. Well, this is not your first love affair, Marie. Or, is it?
Countess Marie Walewska: I've had no love affairs, sire.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: None?
Countess Marie Walewska: I have only one love, sire, my country. Help us, sire! We're in your hands. Don't let a proud people beg in vain for what is rightfully theirs. We're desperate! You're powerful! Help us, sire! Our loved ones fought for you! They were fighting for liberty - as desperately as you did for France. Isn't that a bond, sire, between you and them and freedom? You are the hope of the world, sire! One word from you would set us free! Say it, sire! Say it!
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Lovely. You are lovely, Marie Walewska.
Countess Marie Walewska: I came to you as a woman, sire. As a woman desperate in the cause of her country. Forgive me, sire. There was no other way. But, I speak to you now, as a messenger of a broken people. Won't you hear me too?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Lovely.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Who sent you?
Countess Marie Walewska: You did, sire. You sent for me...
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I who hate women who meddle, lose my head over a woman who comes to a rendezvous, not to please me or even herself! But, to babble, about politics!

Countess Marie Walewska: Sire, if I can't move you to be just, can't I at least move you to pity?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Pity is for the contemptible, Marie. You and I do not deal with them.

Countess Pelagia Walewska: What were you before you became an Emperor?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: A corporal.
Countess Pelagia Walewska: That's what I thought. A soldier. Why do you say you were an Emperor?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: One can be both, Madame. Alexander was.
Countess Pelagia Walewska: Everybody who goes crazy thinks he is Alexander. Now, if Alexander went crazy, who would he think he was?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Napoleon.

Countess Pelagia Walewska: Emperor! Corporal! Alexander! Are you Caesar too?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: A touch.
Countess Pelagia Walewska: You bear watching.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I hear that on every side, Madame.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I am lonely.
Countess Marie Walewska: Isn't loneliness a small price to pay for power, sire?

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: You presume to know me very well, don't you?
Countess Marie Walewska: Sire, you stand in the Sun.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Against my will, I love you.
Countess Marie Walewska: I believe in you.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Come with me, Marie.
Countess Marie Walewska: I shall never long for Spring again. In the Spring, you'll have to go forth to war. You'll be in danger, fighting. I shall long always for Winter - when you'll be safe.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I have signed many treaties. But, this is the first time, I am at peace.

Constant: It is not safe to leave a woman alone with him for a minute...
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Why not?
Constant: Well, with a man like that, there's no restraint, your majesty. He barely looks before he leaps.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Leaps, Constant?
Constant: Well, you know how it is, your majesty, figuratively speaking.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: And what do women say about this extraordinary Pastry Cook?
Constant: Well, you know how it is, your majesty, I'm afraid the conscience of women is greatly overrated, your majesty.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: You appreciate the delicacy of their position! Hey, Constant?
Constant: Yes, your majesty.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: The crown would not be unbecoming of that lovely head.
Countess Marie Walewska: I want no other crown but your loving me.

Tallyrand: I'm not opposed, your majesty. At least we will not have to pursue that dream of a united Europe.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: From now on, Tallyrand, I am Europe!

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I was a fool to expect understanding from a woman. You will see! Russia will see! England will see! Whether I am the slave of power - or it's master.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: This is my 40th birthday.
Countess Marie Walewska: You are immortal.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I am an old man.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I am an ordinary man; but, my life is not an ordinary one.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Why do you say nothing?
Countess Marie Walewska: If you were in my place, what would you say?
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I'm not a woman! I cannot put words into your mouth.
Countess Marie Walewska: Then perhaps, don't - there are no words.

Countess Marie Walewska: If you really loved me, that love would save your love.
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Politics has no heart. It has only a head.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: I was looking at Corsica. My France and my Corsica. They love me, the French! And I love them.
Laetitia Bonaparte: If they loved you, they would not keep you a prisoner on this island.

Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: The French love me. I must give that love for my son. The Empress knows how much I want to see him.
Laetitia Bonaparte: She did not bring him yesterday. She will not bring him today. She will not bring him tomorrow.


Waterloo (1970/I)
Napoleon Bonaparte: Cross the river. Tomorrow we will dry our boots in Brussels.
Michel Ney: God willing, sire.
Napoleon Bonaparte: God? God has nothing to do with it.

Napoleon Bonaparte: Never interrupt your enemy while he's making a mistake. That's bad manners.

[Observing the advance of the Gordon Highlanders]
Napoleon Bonaparte: Has Wellington nothing to offer me but these Amazons?

[Napoleon is watching the charge of the Scots Greys]
Napoleon: Those men on grey horses are terrifying.
Marshal Soult: They are the noblest cavalry in Europe; and the worst led.
Napoleon: That may be; that may be, but we will match them with our lancers.

Michel Ney: Wellington's on the run! I caught him at Quatre Bras! He's retreating!
Napoleon Bonaparte: If Wellington's retreating, what are you doing here?
Michel Ney: But, Sire...
Napoleon Bonaparte: If Wellington's retreating, what are you doing here? Why didn't you follow him? Why didn't you pursue?
Michel Ney: [Raises voice] where are the reinforcements you promised me?
Napoleon Bonaparte: [shouting] Don't you dare criticize me! Don't you dare! Don't you see if Wellington's free to choose his ground then everything I've won in this campaign you've lost!

Napoleon Bonaparte: [watching the advance of troops in the distance] Prussians.
[Ney aims his own telescope]
Napoleon Bonaparte: That is not necessary, that is not necessary. They're Prussians, but as far as the army's concerned, they're on the moon. Understand?

Gen. Drouot: [wounded on his horse] The Prussians are in the woods! Blucher is in the woods!
Napoleon Bonaparte: I made one mistake in my life; I should have burned Berlin.

Napoleon Bonaparte: [in pain from the early stages of stomach cancer] My body is dying, but my mind is still good!

Napoleon Bonaparte: Well they've done it! The whole of Europe has declared war against me! Not against France, but against me.
Le Bedoyere: They dignify you sire by making you a Nation!
Napoleon Bonaparte: [laughing] Dignify? Dignify? They deny me the decency of law! They make it legal that any clown can kill me.
Michel Ney: Well we've fought with mud in our boots before!
Napoleon Bonaparte: Yes well, I'll discuss peace over Wellington's dead body, that's my peace table!

Napoleon Bonaparte: Le Bedoyere, do you have any children?
Le Bedoyere: Yes, sire; one son, very young,no taller than your boot.
Napoleon Bonaparte: And if he were with you, would you want him with you here today?
Le Bedoyere: Yes, sire.
Napoleon Bonaparte: Yes, why?
Le Bedoyere: So he could see you, sire.
Napoleon Bonaparte: See me? You know, I have a son. I'd give anything in the world to see him. I'd give my heart, I'd give my life, but not here. I wouldn't want him to witness this battle here today.

Napoleon Bonaparte: When I am dead and gone what will the world say of me?
Le Bedoyere: They'll say that you extended the limits of glory, sire.
Napoleon Bonaparte: The limits of glory'; is that all I have to leave to my son, the 'limits of glory'?

[On Wellington's refusal to move]
Napoleon Bonaparte: [thinks to himself] This Englishman has two qualities I admire: caution, and above all, courage
[speaks up]
Napoleon Bonaparte: He hasn't moved, he's nailed himself to his ridge. Now's the time to move all the heavy artillery against Picton.

Napoleon Bonaparte: [after the defeat of the Prussians at Ligny] The field of honor is never a pretty sight. Nevertheless, sixteen thousand Prussian dead; that's good news to slap on the walls in Paris, eh?

[Bonaparte is facing down Louis XVIII's artillery, unarmed]
Napoleon Bonaparte: Soldiers of the fifth. Do you recognise me?
[pause]
Napoleon Bonaparte: If you want to kill your Emperor? Here I am.

Napoleon Bonaparte: I can't believe my ears! You all stand before me waving a piece of paper crying 'Abdicate, abdicate!' I WILL NOT! I WILL NOT, NOT, NOT!

Napoleon Bonaparte: What's he doing? What's Ney doing? What's happening? Can't I leave the field for a minute? What's he doing there? How can a man go forward with the cavalry without infantry support? What's the matter with you?

Napoleon Bonaparte: [dictating a letter] To my dear Prince Alexis... I did not "usurp" the crown. I found it, in the gutter, and I, I picked it up with my sword, and it was the people, Alexis, the people who put it on my head. He who saves a nation violates no law.


The Emperor's New Clothes (2001)
Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut: I bought it from a lawyer who went bankrupt.
Napoleon Bonaparte: Well, that's something. I didn't know that was possible.

[Napoleon slips outside Pumpkin's door and hits his head on the cobblestones]
Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut: Sergeant! Sergeant Lenormand, are you all right? Can you hear me?
[No response]
Dr. Lambert: Listen to me. How many fingers can you see?
[No response]
Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut: What is your name?
Napoleon Bonaparte: Emperor Napoleon.

Napoleon Bonaparte: Six years of English cooking... six years of staring at these dreary walls... and at your gloomy face. You're quite ugly, did you know that? I haven't had the heart to tell you.
Louis Marchand: Yes, sire.

[Napoleon looks at his double, Eugene, a lowly deckhand - both characters played by Ian Holm]
Napoleon Bonaparte: What are we going to do?
Montholon: Sire?
Napoleon Bonaparte: Well, he looks *nothing* like me.

Napoleon Bonaparte: They've changed my battlefield.

Napoleon Bonaparte: I had rather sleep in the gutter than spend one night under an inhospitable roof!

Napoleon Bonaparte: I am a man who can be killed, but not insulted!

Napoleon Bonaparte: I am not Eugene! Eugene Lenormand is nothing! A nobody!
Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut: He is everything to me.

Napoleon Bonaparte: I am Napoleon!
Nicole 'Pumpkin' Truchaut: No, you're not Napoleon! I hate Napoleon! He's filled France with widows and orphans! He took my husband! I won't let him take you.

Montholon: You will of course be traveling incognito...
Napoleon Bonaparte: Yes, of course incognito, but in what capacity will I be traveling?
Montholon: Uh... a galley hand.
[Napoleon glares]
Montholon: It is in the utmost need, Sire.
Napoleon Bonaparte: Even so, surely something above decks would have been more appropriate.

[first lines]
Napoleon Bonaparte: No, that's not it. That's not right. Let me tell you what really happened...

[last lines]
Napoleon Bonaparte: I have a message for Sergeant Justin Bommell.
Gendarme: You wish to speak with him?
Napoleon Bonaparte: Just the message. And I'd like to leave this.
[puts a box on the counter; the gendarme looks inside and sees an Imperial Guard uniform]
Gendarme: You were here before, weren't you? I recognize you.
Napoleon Bonaparte: The message should read, "Eugene Lenormand is dead..."
[the gendarme starts to write]
Napoleon Bonaparte: No, not that.
[thinks for a moment]
Napoleon Bonaparte: "Eugene Lenormand... has moved on. He left this to remember him by."


Eagle in a Cage (1972)
Sir Hudson Lowe: You are free to move anywhere on the island, provided you are accompanied by an English officer.
Napoleon Bonaparte: I am not your prisoner.
Sir Hudson Lowe: You held a great deal of power for a very long time. I expect it's not easy to accept someone else in command. Nevertheless, that is the fact of the matter.

Napoleon Bonaparte: The Pope considered me despicable, yet he crossed the Alps to anoint me. The King of Austria called me a Corsican gutter rat, and gave me his daughter as a bride. Anyone can make use of a friend. The trick is to use one's enemies.

Barry O'Meara: Apart from my duties as your physician, I'm required to report daily that I've seen you as a precaution against escape. I agreed to obey that order on the condition that I could inform you of it. I'm not a spy.
Napoleon Bonaparte: I have nothing against spies.

Napoleon Bonaparte: I'd like a bible.
Sir Hudson Lowe: It never occurred to me that you were religious.
Napoleon Bonaparte: I only read the love poetry. And the battle scenes. You can learn a lot from those Old Testament boys.

Napoleon Bonaparte: Power is my art. I love it. The way a musician loves his instrument.

Napoleon Bonaparte: You think there's always a choice between good and evil? Sometimes there's only a choice between horrors.

Napoleon Bonaparte: There are only two kinds of men in the world: those who will use you, and those you can use.

Betty Balcombe: Papa is sending me to school in London. God, how I longed for it! Begged him! He wouldn't hear of it.
Napoleon Bonaparte: How did you manage?
Betty Balcombe: I found a man I could use: I told him I was in love with you. He can't wait to pack me off.

Napoleon Bonaparte: When I go into battle, I never bother to take food for all my troops. It stands to reason some of them will be killed. Why bother hauling provisions for corpses?


Love and Death (1975)
Napoleon: This is an honor for me.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for me.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: No, a greater honor for ME.
Boris: Well, perhaps you're right. Perhaps it IS a greater honor for you.
Napoleon: And you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Napoleon: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Sonja: No, you must be Don Francisco's sister.
Boris: No, it's a greater honor for me.
Napoleon: I see our Spanish guests have a sense of humor.
Boris: She's a great kidder.
Sonja: No, you're a great kidder.
Boris: No, you're Don Francisco's sister.

Napoleon: I heard you speaking to someone.
Sonja: Oh, I was praying.
Napoleon: But I heard TWO voices.
Sonja: Well, I do both parts.

Napoleon: If this pastry is to bear my name, it must be richer. More cream.

Napoleon: I'll go to your room.
Sonja: Good, I'll go to yours.

Napoleon: Do you find me attractive as a man?
Sonja: Yes, I think that's your best bet.

Napoleon: I wonder if you would be more difficult to conquer than Russia?
Sonja: Well, I weigh less.

Boris: You're a tyrant, and a dictator, and you start wars!
Napoleon: Why is he reciting my credits?

Napoleon: Forgive my haste, I have heard that Spanish Blood is the hottest in Europe.
Sonja: I had mine cooled for the Summer.

Napoleon: Shall we to the bed?
Sonja: Shall we WHAT to the bed?


Time Bandits (1981)
Napoleon: Little things hitting each other. THAT'S WHAT I LIKE!

Napoleon: They are all freaks! Not one of them under five foot six. What kind of theater is this?

Neguy: You are not small at all, Commander.
Lucien: Not by any means. Five foot one is not small.
Napoleon: Five foot one and conqueror of Italy, not bad huh?

Napoleon: [to the Bandits] You are the best thing to happen to me since this whole campaign. You know I come here to conquor Italy, because I thought they were all small. You know, I hear they was really tiny guys...
Neguy: Sir, I really think there are more important thing...
Napoleon: SHUT UP! Don't you dare to tell me my business. You are dismissed, you hear? You, Lucien, the rest of you. Great streaks of misery.
Lucien: But, Sir...
Napoleon: NO! I'm going to have some new generals for a bit.

Napoleon: Encore! Encore!
Theatre Manager: Thank you. Thank you very much. Uh, I wonder if you would like to see some of our... Other items. We have Zuzu and Benny!
[Curtain rises]
Theatre Manager: Fun on a unicycle.
[Napoleon looks displeased]
Theatre Manager: No? Uh, how about, uh, The Great Rambozo! He sing and lift heavy things.
[Napoleon still looks displeased]
Theatre Manager: No? Uh, how about, uh... Ah, this I think you'll like. Very funny. The Three Idiots! From Latvia. Very funny act. They swallow brushes.

Napoleon: Don't stand so close to me, Neguy! I've told you about that before. You on one side and him on the other - it's like being on the bottom of a bloody well!


The Hills Have Eyes II (2007)
Napoleon: [bursting out of the portable toilet with his pants down, hysterical and screaming] Fuck!
Amber: What?
Napoleon: There's a hand in the shitter!

Crank: [referring to Hansel] You trust that guy?
Amber: He hid us from them. He didn't give us up.
Napoleon: We don't have any choice, we have to trust him.
Crank: Bullshit! God knows where he's taking us.
Delmar: To be honest with you, I'm not sure God knows anything about this place.

Sarge: You against the war, Doonesbury?
Napoleon: Not all wars, Sarge, I just think the president lies too much.
Sarge: All presidents lie, asshole! That's their fucking job!
Napoleon: Yes, sir.
Sarge: No president has told the truth since Truman! And you know what he said?
Napoleon: No, Sarge.
Sarge: He said that the buck stops here!

Amber: Who was that guy?
Napoleon: Shitman the Barbarian, I have no idea!

Napoleon: You heard what Crank said. Dead is never better.

Sarge: Are you fucking kidding me? You are in mountain assault training. There are no port-a-potties in Kandahar. You will take your dumps behind the cactus with the scorpions. Do you understand me?
Napoleon: What do I use for T.P., sir?
Sarge: Use your fucking hand.


The Count of Monte Cristo (2002)
Napoleon: In life, we are kings or pawns.

Fernand: We're drinking Napoleon Bonaparte's wine!
Napoleon: [Walking in behind Edmond and Fernand, surprising them] I believe you'll find the 1806 a finer vintage.

Napoleon: Kings and pawns, marshal. Emperors and fools.


Napoleon (1995)
Napoleon: This kittens really lost her mittens.

Cat: MOUSE... MUST... DIE.
Napoleon: H-huh... good thing I'm not a mouse...
Cat: Ahh, but you are a mouse. A big, yellow mouse.

Napoleon's Mum: I want you to promise me you'll never run off like that again!
Napoleon: I won't. And I want you to promise me something too.
Napoleon's Mum: Anything!
Napoleon: I want you... to call me Napoleon!
Napoleon's Mum: [laughs] From now on, you're my little Napoleon.


War and Peace (1956)
Napoleon: I warn you, gentlemen; I cannot sit here much longer - watching my army decay!

Napoleon: [Thinking to himself as he gazes through the window] Already the wild geese are flying south. What if we are trapped here through winter?


"Heroes and Villains: Napoleon (#1.1)" (2007)
[preparing to lead his troops onto the field]
Napoleon Bonaparte: If I attack, follow me! If I retreat, shoot me! If I am killed, avenge me!

Napoleon Bonaparte: [to Fréron] You are right. Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is eternal.


Napoleon Bunny-Part (1956)
Napoleon: [to executioner, after nearly got the chop] Idiot! Turn in your hood!
[takes off executioner's hood]
Bugs Bunny: Ehhhhh! What's up, Nappy?

Asylum Worker #1: Hey, Pierre! Here's another Napoleon.
Asylum Worker #2: That's ze twelfth one today.
[Drags Napoleon away]
Napoleon: BUT I AM NAPOLEON!
Asylum Worker #1: [Sarcastically] Sure you are.
Napoleon: I WILL HAVE YOU EXECUTED FOR THI-I-I-I-IS!
Bugs Bunny: He he he. Imagine that guy thinking he's Napoleon...
[grabs hat from nowhere]
Bugs Bunny: ...when I REALLY AM!


"Robot Chicken: The Black Cherry (#1.21)" (2005)
Soldier: Sir! Who are we conquering today?
Napoleon Bonamite: Whoever I feel like conquering! GOSH!

Soldier: Sir! We're bing outnumbered!
Napoleon Bonamite: I was outnumbered by ninjas and wolverines over summer break, but I killed them all with my nunhchucks! GOSH! Idiots!


Napoleon (1955)
Bonaparte: I've just been born Joseph! Good bye! Good bye you English!

Bonaparte: Joseph, I've just been born! Goodbye you British! Goodbye!


"W.I.T.C.H.: U Is for Undivided (#2.21)" (2006)
Taranee Cook: The cat talks?
Napoleon: [being sarcastic] No... Ricky Rodent over there is a ventriloquist.
Irma: Ahm, no offense, but this just ain't normal.
[huggles looks at Napoleon and shivers]
Matt Olsen: Yeah, Mr. Huggles doesn't like it either.
Napoleon: Well, your rat can just get over it!
Matt Olsen: He's not a rat, he's a dormouse and I'm ...
[looks away dumbfounded]
Matt Olsen: - I'm arguing with a housepet...

Lillian Hale: So... now what do we do?
Cornelia Hale: *I* study the winter fashions. *You* keep quiet.
Lillian Hale: [to her cat, Napoleon] I wish you could speak, Napoleon. Then I'd have *someone* to talk to.
Cornelia Hale: Okay, that's it! Bedtime!
Lillian Hale: It's only eight o'clock!
Cornelia Hale: I'm in charge, and I say it's nine. Now, brush your teeth and pajamafy. Now!
Lillian Hale: I hate you!
[Lillian stomps out of the room]
Cornelia Hale: Then my work here is done.
[Napoleon jumps on to Cornelia's lap]
Napoleon: Lose the magazine, doll. We gotta talk.
[Cornelia screams]


"Married with Children: Damn Bundys (#11.20)" (1997)
[Al is playing Hangman with Napoleon]
Napoleon: Hmmmmmmm. Could it be zhe letter, P?
Al: Hangman, I win.
[laughs]
Al: It's French Fries, you idiot. Not too smart, are you?
[Al sticks his hand in his pants as Napoleon leaves]


Reign of Terror (1949)
Fouché: Robespierre planned on having statues built of himself. But all he leaves behind him... is stale bread.
Napoleon Bonaparte: The end is always being put to some use in France, citizen. The art of being a Frenchman is knowing what comes next.
Fouché: Have you any idea?
Napoleon Bonaparte: I am neither a Frenchman nor a politician. I am merely a soldier.
Fouché: Well, my friend, I must be off. Perhaps we shall meet again some time.
Fouché: [stops, turns around] Oh, uh, by the way, I don't believe I got your name.
Napoleon Bonaparte: My name is Bonaparte. Napoleon Bonaparte.
Fouché: "Napoleon Bonaparte." I'll try to remember that.


War and Peace (1966)
Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte: Uncertainty, that's what one fears most.


"I Dream of Jeannie: My Master, Napoleon's Buddy (#2.28)" (1967)
Major Anthony Nelson: Pardon me, I don't mean to intrude. My name is Major Anthony Nelson. You don't know me, but I certainly know you. You're the Little Corporal.
General Pichegru: Execute him!
Major Anthony Nelson: Wait, wait now;please, take it easy. I don't mean to offend you sir,but everyone calls you the Little Corporal.
Napoleon: Those who do, regret it.


Désirée (1954)
Napoleon Bonaparte: I want my family to be well established. Joseph, particularly. The rest must wait until the victorious culmination of my campaign in Italy.
Desiree Clary: And you think you can do with people precisely what you want? That life is as you say it is?
Napoleon Bonaparte: Have you ever heard of a thing called destiny, Désirée?


Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure (1989)
Ted: [after Napoleon explains his new waterslide war strategy] I don't think it's gonna work.
Napoleon: Non?
[pause, then slams his pointer down on the map, scattering playing pieces everywhere]
Napoleon: Triomphe Napoleon!
[translated: Napoleon wins!]


Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (2009)
Napoleon: [asking about Larry and Amielia] Were you guys like friends in college and now just afraid to ruin your relationship with each other by telling the other person that you want to be more then friends, that you like-like each other?
Larry Daley: [confused] One more time... I'm sorry...
Napoleon: Were you guys like friends in college and now just afraid to ruin your relationship with each other by telling the other person that you want to be more then friends, that you like-like each other?
Larry Daley: Oh, no...
Napoleon: Oh, just friends?