William Shakespeare
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Quotes for
William Shakespeare (Character)
from Shakespeare in Love (1998)

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Shakespeare in Love (1998)
William Shakespeare: Good title.
Christopher Marlowe: Yours?
William Shakespeare: "Romeo and Ethel the Pirate's Daughter". - Oh, yes, I know, I know.
Christopher Marlowe: What is the story?
William Shakespeare: Well, there's this pirate. - In truth I have not written a word.

Christopher Marlowe: I thought your play was for Burbage.
William Shakespeare: This is a different one.
Christopher Marlowe: A different one you haven't written?

[after sex]
Viola De Lesseps: I would not have thought it: there IS something better than a play!
William Shakespeare: There is.
Viola De Lesseps: Even your play.
William Shakespeare: Hmm?
Viola De Lesseps: And that was only my first try.

Lord Wessex: I cannot shed blood in her house, but I will cut your throat anon. Do you have a name?
William Shakespeare: Christopher Marlowe, at your service.

Viola de Lesseps: [as Thomas Kent] Tell me how you love her, Will.
William Shakespeare: Like a sickness and its cure together.

William Shakespeare: His name is Mercutio.
Ned Alleyn: What's the name of the play?
William Shakespeare: Mercutio.
Philip Henslowe: It is?
William Shakespeare: Shh!

Philip Henslowe: The show must... you know...
William Shakespeare: [prompting him] Go on!

William Shakespeare: I'm done with theater. The playhouse is for dreamers. Look what the dream brought us.
Viola De Lesseps: It was we ourselves did that. And for my life to come, I would not have it otherwise.

Viola De Lesseps: I loved a writer and gave up the prize for a sonnet.
William Shakespeare: I was the more deceived.
Viola De Lesseps: Yes, you were deceived, for I did not know how much I loved you.

[Saying their goodbyes]
William Shakespeare: You will never age for me, nor fade, nor die.

William Shakespeare: It is not a comedy I'm writing now.

William Shakespeare: Love knows nothing of rank or river bank.

William Shakespeare: Love denied blights the soul we owe to God.

William Shakespeare: A broad river divides my lovers: family, duty, fate. As unchangeable as nature.

William Shakespeare: You see? The comsumptives plot against me. "Will Shakespeare has a play, let us go and cough through it."

Viola De Lesseps: Master Shakespeare?
William Shakespeare: The same, alas.
Viola De Lesseps: Oh, but why "alas"?
William Shakespeare: A lowly player.
Viola De Lesseps: Alas indeed, for I thought you the highest poet of my esteem and writer of plays that capture my heart.
William Shakespeare: Oh - I am him too!

[last lines]
William Shakespeare: My story starts at sea, a perilous voyage to an unknown land. A shipwreck. The wild waters roar and heave. The brave vessel is dashed all to pieces. And all the helpless souls within her drowned. All save one. A lady. Whose soul is greater than the ocean, and her spirit stronger than the sea's embrace. Not for her a watery end, but a new life beginning on a stranger shore. It will be a love story. For she will be my heroine for all time. And her name will be Viola.

William Shakespeare: Can you love a fool?
Viola De Lesseps: Can you love a player?

William Shakespeare: Follow that boat!
First Boatman: Right you are, guv'nor!... I know your face. Are you an actor?
William Shakespeare: [oh God, here we go again] Yes.
First Boatman: Yes, I've seen you in something. That one about a king.
William Shakespeare: Really?
First Boatman: I had that Christopher Marlowe in my boat once.

Viola De Lesseps: I have never undressed a man before.
William Shakespeare: It is strange to me, too.

Viola De Lesseps: You have never spoken so well of him before.
William Shakespeare: He was not dead before.

William Shakespeare: You still owe me for One Gentleman of Verona.

William Shakespeare: My muse, as always, is Aphrodite.
Philip Henslowe: Aphrodite Baggett, who does it behind the Dog and Crumpet?

William Shakespeare: You, sir, are a gentleman.
Ned Alleyn: And you, sir, are a Warwickshire shithouse.

William Shakespeare: I have a wife, yes, and I cannot marry the daughter of Sir Robert De Lesseps. You needed no wife come from Stratford to tell you that, and yet, you let me come to your bed.
Viola De Lesseps: Calf-love. I loved the writer and gave up the prize for a sonnet.

Viola De Lesseps: It is a house of ill repute!
William Shakespeare: It is, Thomas, but of good reputation. Come, there's no harm in a drink!

Philip Henslowe: Will! Where is my play? Tell me you have it nearly done! Tell me you have it started.
[desperately]
Philip Henslowe: You have begun?
William Shakespeare: [struggling with his boots] Doubt that the stars are fire, doubt that the sun doth move.
Philip Henslowe: No, no, we haven't the time. Talk prose.

Christopher Marlowe: His best friend is killed in a duel by Ethel's brother or something. His name is Mercutio.
William Shakespeare: Mercutio... good name.

Viola de Lesseps: At sea, then - a voyage to a new world?... she lands upon a vast and empty shore. She is brought to the duke... Orsino.
William Shakespeare: Orsino... good name.

William Shakespeare: It's as if my quill is broken... as if the organ of my imagination has dried up... as if the proud tower of my genius has collapsed.
Dr. Moth: Interesting.
William Shakespeare: Nothing comes.
Dr. Moth: Most interesting.
William Shakespeare: It's like trying to pick a lock with a wet herring.
Dr. Moth: Tell me, are you lately humbled in the act of love? How long has it been?


"The Twilight Zone: The Bard (#4.18)" (1963)
William Shakespeare: [In response to Julius Moomer being at a loss for words after discovering Williams Shakespeare has appeared] He speaks yet he says nothing. Romeo and Juliet, Act 2, Scene 2.
[Trumpets sound, this is a paraphrase as Romeo was the original speaker and used she instead of he]

Julius Moomer: I got me an idea Will. You don't mind if I call you Will, do you?
William Shakespeare: What's in a name? That which we call a rose. By any other name would smell as sweet;
[Trumpets sound, also from Romeo & Juliet Act 2, Scene 2, by Juliet, but not mentioned by Shakespeare]

Julius Moomer: You never heard of Ingrid Bergman?
[laughs]
Julius Moomer: Where ya been pal?... Never mind, don't tell me.
William Shakespeare: A comely woman I take it. One fairer than my love. The all seeing sun ne'er saw her match since first the world begun.
[Trumpets sound, from Romeo & Juliet, Act 1, Scene 2, by Romeo-not mentioned by Shakespeare]

Julius Moomer: [Julius Moomer has just finished doing the jig of joy] Smatter Will? You don't look so good?
William Shakespeare: Like a strutting player whose conceit lies in his hamstring.
[Trumpets sound]
William Shakespeare: That's from Troilus and Cressida, Act 1, Scene 3
[by Ulysses]

William Shakespeare: I think I will take a walk now. I am that merry wanderer of the night.
[Trumpets sound]
William Shakespeare: A Midsummer's Night Dream, Act 2, Scene 1
[by Puck]

William Shakespeare: To be or not to be Mr. Moomer, that...
[Trumpets begin to sound, but are cut short, as he appears to forget his line. He shrugs his shoulders and exits through the door. From Hamlet Act 3, Scene 1 by Hamlet-not mentioned by Shakespeare]

William Shakespeare: But she has the most definitive line of the play. In the epilogue, I took it from Twelfth Night.
[trumpets play during the following quote]
William Shakespeare: If music be the food of love, play on; Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, the appetite may sicken and so die.
[Act 1, Scene 1 by Duke Orsino-not mentioned by Shakespeare]

William Shakespeare: [after knocking out Rocky Rhodes] Blow, blow thou winter wind. Thou art not so unkind as man's ingratitude.
[Trumpets sound]
William Shakespeare: . That's from As You Like It, Act 2, Scene 7
[by Amiens]

Julius Moomer: Hey Will, Will. Will. Hey wait a minute, Will. Wait a minute. What you doing? You're gonna louse up the whole deal. What am I going to say to them in there? What am I gonna tell them?
William Shakespeare: Tell them simply that foolery, sir, does walk about the orb like the sun. It shines everywhere.
[Trumpets sound]
William Shakespeare: Act 3, Scene 1, Twelfth Night.
[by Feste]


"Doctor Who: The Shakespeare Code (#3.2)" (2007)
William Shakespeare: The Doctor may never kiss you, Martha. Why not entertain a man who will?

The Doctor: Come on! We can have a good flirt later!
William Shakespeare: Is that a promise, Doctor?
The Doctor: Oh, fifty-seven academics just punched the air. Come on.

[regarding the loss of his only son to the Black Death in his absence]
Shakespeare: Made me question everything, the futility of this fleeting existence, to be or not to be.
[pauses]
Shakespeare: Oooh, that's quite good.
The Doctor: You should write that down.
Shakespeare: Mmm, maybe not. Bit pretentious?
The Doctor: Ehm.

William Shakespeare: How can a man so young have eyes so old?
The Doctor: I do a lot of reading.

The Doctor: Mr. Shakespeare, isn't it?
William Shakespeare: Oh, no. No no no. Who let you in? No autographs, no you can't have yourself sketched with me, and please don't ask where I get my ideas from. Thanks for your interest, now be a good boy and shove...
[he then notices Martha]
William Shakespeare: Hey, nonny nonny!

The Doctor: Rage, rage, against the dying of the light...
William Shakespeare: I might use that.
The Doctor: You can't, it's someone else's.

William Shakespeare: 'Close up this din of hateful dire decay / Decomposition of your witches' plot! / You thieve my brains, consider me your toy / My doting doctor tells me I am not!'
Lilith: No! Words of power!
William Shakespeare: 'Foul Carrionite specters, cease your show / Between the points... '
[he looks to The Doctor for help]
The Doctor: 761390!
William Shakespeare: '761390! / Banished like a tinker's cuss / I say to thee... '
[he again looks to The Doctor]
The Doctor: Uh...
[he looks to Martha]
Martha Jones: Expelliarmus!
The Doctor: Expelliarmus!
William Shakespeare: 'Expelliarmus!'
The Doctor: Good old JK!

Shakespeare: So, tell me of Freedonia, where women can be doctors, writers, actors...?
Martha Jones: This country is ruled by a woman.
Shakespeare: Ah, she's royal, that's God's business, though you are a royal beauty.
Martha Jones: Whoa, Nelly. I know for a fact you've got a wife in the country
Shakespeare: But Martha, this is town.

Lynley: [walks in on Shakespeare, while Shakespeare is in conversation with the Doctor and Martha] This is abominable behavior. A new play with no warning? I demand to see a script, Mr. Shakespeare. As Master of the Revels, every new script must be registered at my office and examined by me before it can be performed.
William Shakespeare: Tomorrow morning. First thing, I'll send it around.
Lynley: I don't work to your schedule, you work to mine. The script, *now*!
William Shakespeare: I can't!
Lynley: Then tomorrow's performance is cancelled.
[starts walking out]
Lynley: I'm returning to my office for a banning order. If it's the last thing I do, ''Love's Labour's Won'' will never be played.


Legend Movie 2 (2011)
Dave: Oh, great. Where are we NOW?
Shakespeare: I am Sir William Shakespeare!
Dave: I didn't ask who you were...
Shakespeare: Yes, well, I told you! OK?
Dave: Show off.

Hitler: Well, what do you do for fun around here?
Shakespeare: Well, you're asking two questions there. The first brings me back to...
[Hitler shoots himself on the head]
Shakespeare: Oh dear, what have I done? Hmm, this is a new poem I think!

Shakespeare: Wallace and Gromit - to be or not to be, that is the question. Hmm, not to be.


Blackadder Back & Forth (1999)
Blackadder: [punches Shakespeare] That is for every schoolboy and schoolgirl for the next 400 years! Have you any idea how much suffering you're going to cause? Hours spent at school desks trying to find ONE joke in "A Midsummer's Night Dream", wearing stupid tights in school plays and saying things like, "What ho, my Lord," and, "Oh, look, here comes Othello talking total crap as usual."
[kicks Shakespeare]
Blackadder: And THAT is for Ken Branagh's endless, four-hour version of Hamlet.
William Shakespeare: Who's Ken Branagh?
Blackadder: I'll tell him you said that, and I think he'll be rather hurt...

Blackadder: [trying to be friendlier towards Shakespeare at their second encounter] I'm a very big fan Bill.
William Shakespeare: Thank you.
Blackadder: Keep up the good work. King Lear... very funny.

Blackadder: [Blackadder trying to be friendlier towards Shakespeare at their second encounter] I'm a very big fan Bill.
William Shakespeare: Thank you.
Blackadder: Keep up the good work. King Lear... very funny!


William (2012)
William Shakespeare: So I suppose you want me to talk about the process involved in writing Romeo and Juliet, which is not only my favorite play that I've ever written, but also my favorite play full stop. Let's face it, I am Shakespeare.


"The Simpsons: Treehouse of Horror III (#4.5)" (1992)
[while fighting zombies]
Barney: Wow, George Washington!
Homer: Take that, Washington!
[BLAM!]
Homer: Eat lead, Einstein!
[BLAM!]
Homer: Show's over, Shakespeare!
[clubs him to the ground]
Zombie Shakespeare: Is this the end of Zombie Shakespeare?


Lady for a Day (1933)
Shakespeare: Hey, Dude, you mind if I have an idea?
Dave the Dude - 'Dave Manville': Yeah?
Shakespeare: Well, this here society friend of yours, uh... Rodney Kent, he's got an apartment at The Marberry...
Dave the Dude - 'Dave Manville': He has, so what about it? What about it? Can you picture me goin' to Rodney Kent and sayin' "Lend me your apartment for Apple Annie?" He'd throw me out on my ear.
Shakespeare: Huh. That's just what I was gonna say. He'd throw you out on your ear.
Dave the Dude - 'Dave Manville': Shut up abut it, then!
Shakespeare: I was just gonna do that.


Anonymous (2011/I)
William Shakespeare: ...and the whole bloody thing in verse.
Ben Jonson: It's really not that difficult... if you try.
William Shakespeare: Oh, and have you ever tried? But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Juliet is the sun...
Ben Jonson: You. Cannot. Play Romeo.
William Shakespeare: What! Why not? I'm perfect for the role. I'm perfect! I will not let that oaf Spencer have another go at one of my roles. No! Only Will Shakespeare can pump the life into Romeo's veins!... And his codpiece.


Time Flies (1944)
William Shakespeare: [writing whilst eating a loaf of bread] Ah, "He laughs at wounds who never... had... a scar". Mmh. Ah, curse the crumbs. "He, jests, at crumbs... ." Oh, no, no, no.
Susie Barton: [unannounced from balcony] "He jests at scars that never felt a wound."
William Shakespeare: Perfection itself! "He... ." Who spoke? Who art thou?
Susie Barton: "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet?"
William Shakespeare: But another perfect line! Er, it's not one of Francis Bacon's, is it?
Susie Barton: Ooh, no, no, no, no, no. Er. "Romeo! Romeo! Wherefore art thou, Romeo?" Aren't you missing your cue? You're supposed to climb the ladder.
William Shakespeare: Yes, of course. That's what Romeo would do. Hmmm.
Susie Barton: Easy to see you've never played this scene before.
William Shakespeare: Why, 'tis only now I write it.


Bill (2015/I)
Christopher Marlowe: Saying things in a short snappy way instead of a long drawn-out way is the soul of wit
Bill Shakespeare: You mean brevity?
Christopher Marlowe: Yeah


"Northern Exposure: The Graduate (#6.17)" (1995)
William Shakespeare: Thus am I slain.
Chris Stevens: Oh, Shakes. Shakes. Talk to me.
[gives him a cigaret]
William Shakespeare: [coughs] 'Tis a far, far better thing I do...
Chris Stevens: Shakes -
William Shakespeare: Yeah, Sarge?
Chris Stevens: That's Dickens.


The Simpsons Game (2007) (VG)
William Shakespeare: [fighting Homer and Bart] A plague on both your arses!
Bart Simpson: If it wasn't for the pompous nature of actors, your plays would be long forgotten.


Gnomeo & Juliet (2011)
Bill Shakespeare: [after spotting the large explosion in the background] Told ya so.