Daffy Duck
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Quotes for
Daffy Duck (Character)
from Porky's Duck Hunt (1937)

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Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003)
[the bad guys threaten our heroes with TNT]
Kate Houghton: Who has *dynamite*?
Daffy Duck: Welcome to *my* world.

Daffy Duck: Okay, Toots, hand over the diamond.
Dusty Tails: [to herself after pushing DJ out the door] He brought a goose?
Daffy Duck: It's "duck", thank you.

Daffy Duck: You'd never catch that rabbit doing something this heroic.
Bugs Bunny: [appearing in the seat next to Daffy] Eh, what's up, duck?
Daffy Duck: You're dethpicable.

Bugs Bunny: Eh, what gives, doc? We made thirty-five pictures togetha'.
Elmer Fudd: Well, as it turns out, I'm secwetwy evil.
Daffy Duck: That's showbiz for ya!
Elmer Fudd: Now, make with da the card; so I can pwease my dark masters!

[as the spy car plummets to earth, Daffy calls his stockbroker on his cellphone]
Daffy Duck: Sell all my Warner Brothers stock! I got an inside tip that Bugs Bunny's about to die!

Kate Houghton: I need you to eject this duck.
DJ Drake: Lady, this is Daffy Duck.
Kate Houghton: Not anymore; we own the name.
Daffy Duck: Oh yeah? Well, you can't stop ME from calling myself D-(gasp)... D-(gasp)... well, whatayaknow.

[Bugs Bunny is outside of the ship fighting Marvin the Martian. Daffy is cringing inside the ship, sucking his thumb]
Daffy Duck: What am I gonna do? What would Damian Drake do? What would Duck Dodgers do?... Wait a minute, *I'm* Duck Dodgers!
[Daffy "spins" into his Duck Dodgers costume]
Daffy Duck: Aha! I'm going to be the hero of this picture!
[Then Daffy straps one of five rockets on]
Daffy Duck: Duck Dodgers to the rescue!
[the rocket blows up. Daffy straps on the second rocket]
Daffy Duck: [dazed] Duck Dodgers to the...
[the rocket blows up. Daffy straps on the third rocket]
Daffy Duck: [dazed] Duck Dodge...
[the rocket blows up. Daffy turns and LOOKS at the fourth rocket]
Daffy Duck: Duck...
[the rocket blows up]
Daffy Duck: [Daffy suddenly appears outside the ship with the last rocket strapped on, working]
Daffy Duck: It's "You-Know-Who" to the rescue!
[to the audience]
Daffy Duck: It helps if you don't say the name.

Daffy Duck: You live with Daddy?
DJ Drake: Yeah, so? only... temporarily...
Daffy Duck: Oh, I've hit rock-bottom. I'm hanging out with a security guard who lives with his father.

DJ Drake: This security guard thing, that's just what I do for money. I'm a... I'm a stuntman.
Daffy Duck: You? A stuntman? Please.
DJ Drake: I am! Did you see those "Mummy" movies? I'm in there more than Brendan Fraser is!

[Dusty comes out in a shiny black outfit]
Daffy Duck: How many galoshes died to make *that* little number?

Daffy Duck: That's not boxing. Bite his ear.

Daffy Duck: [spotting the Blue Monkey diamond] I'm rich. I'm affluent. My liquidity is assured.

Daffy Duck: I'm afraid the brothers Warner must choose between a handsome matinee idol, or this miscreant perpetrator of low burlesque.
[points at Bugs, who is wearing Groucho glasses and a spinning bowtie; everyone laughs]
Mr. Warner's Brother: Whichever one's not the duck.

DJ Drake: [to Kate] You.
Kate Houghton: [to DJ] You.
Daffy Duck: [to Bugs] You.
Bugs Bunny: [about DJ] Him.
Daffy Duck: [about Kate] Her.
Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck: Them.

Bugs Bunny: I'm tellin ya, Daffy, I heard the Warner Brothers say that you were their best duck.
Daffy Duck: Flattered though I may be, flattened I will not, in order for you to get the laughs! It's all "woo-hoo, yuk yuk", and then "wham, bam, blam!"
[whacks himself around for added emphasis]
Bugs Bunny: And your tail's on fire.
Daffy Duck: Exactly my point! I...
Bugs Bunny: No, I mean your tail's on fire.
[Daffy sees that his tail IS on fire - he runs around trying to extinguish it - Bugs laughs]
Bugs Bunny: Daff, you're accident prone.
[Daffy finally puts out his tail]
Daffy Duck: Oh, what am I talking to you for? All you have to do is munch on a carrot and people love you.

[Bugs and Daffy crash-land their spaceship through the window of Acme HQ, then walk away unscathed]
Bugs Bunny: I think we scratched it.
Daffy Duck: Who cares, it's a rental.

[DJ and Yosemite Sam follow the Queen of Diamonds playing card to Foghorn Leghorn's blackjack table, where it gets shuffled into the deck]
Foghorn Leghorn: Place, I say, place your bets! Money plays, loser stays! Everyone's a winn - well, not everyone.
Yosemite Sam: [Drops a bag of money on the table] Here's my money, now play!
Foghorn Leghorn: Card, sir?
DJ Drake: Hit me.
Foghorn Leghorn: Don'cha, I say, don'cha wanna look at your cards first, son? Boy's as sharp as a bowling ball.
DJ Drake: [looks at the card; it's an ace] Hit me.
Yosemite Sam: No, hit me first!
Foghorn Leghorn: Wait your, I saya wait your turn, sir.
[deals another ace to DJ]
DJ Drake: Hit me.
[Foghorn deals another ace]
DJ Drake: Hit me.
Yosemite Sam: No, hit me!
[Foghorn continues to deal aces and twos to DJ. Sam can't take it anymore]
Yosemite Sam: No, no, no, hit ME, fragnabbit!
[Foghorn glances at the audience, then smashes Sam in the head with a piece of wood. Squashed, Sam scuttles around the table, cursing unintelligibly]
Foghorn Leghorn: He's the boss.
[Back to DJ]
Foghorn Leghorn: Card Sir?
[DJ winces at the possibility of himself getting hit as well]
DJ Drake: [unsure] ... Hit me?
[Foghorn finally deals the Queen of Diamonds; DJ snatches it off the table]
Foghorn Leghorn: Twenty-one! We have, I say we have a winner!
[DJ and Daffy break for the door]
Daffy Duck: And then, they made their heroic escape!
[Daffy runs facefirst into the door that isn't open. DJ comes back, peels Daffy off, and exits again]

Daffy Duck: What a fantastic view.
Bugs Bunny: Unless you're in the audience in which case you've been staring at an elephant's behind for 30 seconds.

Bugs Bunny: All those in favour of us *not* hitting that wall, say 'aye'.
Kate Houghton, DJ Drake, Daffy Duck: Aye!
Daffy Duck: Mother!
Spy Car Computer: Taking you to Mother!

[Bugs, flying alongside Marvin, points to a map, and signals for Marvin to lower his window]
Marvin the Martian: Earthlings have no sense of direction!
[Marvin lowers the window, and is sucked out into space]
Daffy Duck: Well, what do you know, he fell for it. I guess I owe you $5!

Daffy Duck: Say, that's the stuff from my office.
Mr. Warner: You don't have an office.
Mr. Warner's Brother: Not any more.
Daffy Duck: Symbolically, this is bad. Come on, Brother? Other Brother? Icy she-wolf? You can't fire me. I'm too young and tender to retire.
Kate Houghton: Let me escort you out.
Daffy Duck: Wait! I haven't tried toadying, kowtowing and butt-kissing yet! I'm still begging here!

Daffy Duck: Smell that, DJ? That's the sweet aroma of money, glamour, and busload upon busload of senior citizens.
DJ Drake: Cool it, duck. This could be dangerous.
Daffy Duck: Right, we find Dusty Tails, save your dad, get the diamond, apply kung-fu liberally as needed.

[a Wal-Mart appears in the desert]
Bugs Bunny: Is that a mirage, or just product placement?
Daffy Duck: Oh, who cares, with shopping convenience at such low prices? Water! Fresca! Mountain Dew! Your Product Name Here!
DJ Drake: Is this your idea?
Kate Houghton: The audience expects it. They don't even notice this kind of thing anymore.

Daffy Duck: [Daffy and DJ try escape in DJ's beat-up car] All right, let's see what this baby can really do.
Daffy Duck: [DJ tries to start the car and it falls apart] Now that's an interesting feature.

Daffy Duck: Why, D.J.? Why you? Why wasn't it me? - Just academic curiosity, you understand.

DJ Drake: What brings you to Las Vegas. You ran out of people to fire in LA?
Kate Houghton: You stole my duck.
Daffy Duck: Your duck? Bah! I belong to the world.
DJ Drake: You know what? You can have him.

Daffy Duck: I don't know the meaning of the word fear.
[opens door to find Yosemite Sam aiming a cannon at him]
Yosemite Sam: Say your prayers, duck!
Daffy Duck: Fear: Noun. A state of terror. Yaaaaah!

[the aliens in Area 52 are surrounding them]
Daffy Duck: Yipes! Illegal aliens!
Dalek: Exterminate Them!

[the group is lost in the desert]
Bugs Bunny: I told you we should've taken that left turn at Albuquerque.
Daffy Duck: Now don't start that again.


Duck Amuck (1953)
Daffy Duck: [on an island in the distance] Hey, come here! Come here! Give me a close-up. A close-up!
[film frame contracts around Daffy]
Daffy Duck: This is a close-up?
Daffy Duck: [screaming] A close-up, you jerk! A close-up!
[camera zooms up to an extreme close-up of Daffy's blood shot eyes]
Daffy Duck: Thanks for the sour persimmons, cousin.

Daffy Duck: [artist has re-drawn him as a weird flower-like creature, with a three-sided flag of a screw & a ball, titling Daffy as a SCREWBALL] That's strange. All of a sudden I don't quite feel like myself. Oh, I feel all right, and yet I... I uh...
[sees his figure in a mirror]
Daffy Duck: EEEEEK! YOU KNOW BETTER THAN THAT!

Daffy Duck: What a way to run a railroad.

Daffy Duck: [looking at corny background] That's dandy! Ho-Ho that's rich, I'll say!
[yells]
Daffy Duck: Now how 'bout some color, stupid?
[Artist draws Daffy in wild, polka-dot colors]
Daffy Duck: [in a rage] Mmmmp...
[rants wildly]
Daffy Duck: Not me you slop artist!

Daffy Duck: Would it be too much to ask if we could make up our minds, hmmmm?

Daffy Duck: [after the island paradise disappears] Buster, it may come as a complete surprise to you to find that this is an animated cartoon, and that in animated cartoons they have scenery, and in all the years I've...
[as he's venting, he is slowly being erased from feet up and is silenced when his face is erased]
Daffy Duck: All right wise guy, where am I?

Daffy Duck: [after his parachute is turned into an anvil and he crashes to the ground, he is beating on the anvil with a hammer and babbling a passage from Henry Wadsworth Longfellow's: The Village Smithy] "Under a spreading chestnut-tree, The village smithy stands; The smith, a mighta-ty man is he, With strong and sinewy..."
[while he is doing this, the anvil is erased and is replaced with a WWII type bomb pointing straight up. After a few more hits, the bomb explodes]
Daffy Duck: ...H-Hands...
[Daffy finally shakes himself off]
Daffy Duck: All right. Enough is enough. This is the final, the - the very, very last straw! Who's responsible for this? This... I demand that you show yourself! Who are you? Huh?
[as he's venting, a doorway with an open door is drawn around him, then the door is pushed closed by the eraser]

[projector sticks between frames]
Daffy Duck: Now what?
Daffy Duck: What are you doing down there?
Daffy Duck: Down here? What are you doing up there?
[pointing upward, sarcastically]
Daffy Duck: *Down* here.

[first lines]
Daffy Duck: Stand back, musketeers, they shall sample my blade! Touche!
[suddenly realizes that there is absolutely nothing behind him]
Daffy Duck: Musketeers? Hm? En Garde, eh? My blade? Hey, psst. Whoever's in charge here! The scenery! Where's the scenery?

Daffy Duck: [in a rage] ... And I've never be so humiliated in all my life!

Daffy Duck: All right, let's get this picture started.
[Iris out to THE END title card]
Daffy Duck: [screaming] NO! NO!

Daffy Duck: [to the duplicate Daffy Duck] Listen bud, If you wasn't me, I'd smack you right in the puss.
Daffy Duck: Don't let that bother you, Jack.
Daffy Duck: Okay, buddy, you asked for it.

Daffy Duck: I'll tell you what. You go your way, and I'll go mine. Live and let live. Right? Right. Ladies and gentlemen. There will be no further delays, so I shall attempt to entertain you in my own iniminiminabitle fashion.

Daffy Duck: [sings] Daffy Duck he had a farm, E... I... E... I... O.
[scenery changes]
Daffy Duck: And on this farm he had an *igloo*, ee... ayyy... ee... ayyy... dohhh?

Daffy Duck: [is redrawn as a sailor] Hmm. Sea picture, eh? I always wanted to do a sea epic. Now, Mr. Rembrandt, if you'll kindly oblige with a little appropriate scenery.
[the animator paints a seascape, but no boat for Daffy to stand on]
Daffy Duck: [singing] Over the sea, let's go, men. We're shovin' right off, we're shovin' right off... again?
[falls into the sea]


Space Jam (1996)
Daffy Duck: You think she's got enough toys?
Bugs: Speaking of toys, remember those mugs and t-shoits and lunchboxes with our pictures on 'em?
Daffy Duck: Yeah.
Bugs: You ever see any money from all that stuff?
Daffy Duck: Hah, not a cent!
Bugs: Hmm... me neither.
Daffy Duck: [sighs] It's a crying shame. We gotta get new agents, we're gettin' screwed!

Daffy Duck: Too bad you can't practice getting taller, boys.

Daffy Duck: Oh, fear clutches my breast!

Daffy: How's this for a new team name: The Ducks!
Bugs: Please! What kind of Mickey Mouse organization would name their team The Ducks?

Daffy Duck: Mother!

Michael Jordan: Whatever you do, don't forget my North Carolina shorts.
Daffy Duck: Your shorts? From college?
Michael Jordan: I wore them under my Chicago Bulls uniform every game.
Looney Tunes: Eeewwww!
Michael Jordan: Hey! I washed them after every game!
Sylvester: Sure...
Michael Jordan: I did!

Bugs: Look at our facilities.
Daffy: We've got hoops!
Elmer Fudd: We've got weights!
Sylvester: We've got balls!
Michael Jordan: You sure do. This place is a mess.

Daffy: Just how did you get here, anyway?
Bill Murray: Producer's a friend of mine. He sent a Teamster to drop me off.
Daffy: Aha. Well, that's the way it goes.

Stan Podalak: Let me help! Let me help! I can help! I can help!
Michael Jordan: What can you do?
Stan Podalak: Well, I may not be very tall, but... I'm slow.
Sylvester: And large.
Daffy Duck: And a dork.

Bill Murray: Okay, here's how I see it. Duck?
Daffy Duck: Yes.
Bill Murray: You kick it in to the girl bunny. Down in the post. Then you dish it back out to the guy bunny.
Lola Bunny: Got it.
Bill Murray: Swing it around to Mike, over here. You go to the hole and dominate!
Michael Jordan: Bill! We're on defense!
Bill Murray: Whoa ho ho! I don't play defense. Okay, you're gonna have to listen to Mike on this guys, listen up.
Michael Jordan: Okay, somebody steal the ball, give it to me, and I'll score before time runs out.
Bill Murray: Don't lose that confidence, okay, paws and wings in here, all right!

Daffy Duck: But Mommy, I don't want to go to school today. I wanna stay home and bake cookies with you!

Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, the starting lineup for the Toon Squad: Standing two foot four, The Wonder from Down Under: The Tasmanian Devil!
[Taz squeezes two balls in his mouth, pops them, and spins around]
Announcer: At small forward: standing a scintillating three foot two, The Heartthrob of the Hoops: Lola Bunny!
[Lola dribbles and spins the ball on her finger]
Announcer: At power forward, The Quackster of the Court: Daffy Duck!
Daffy Duck: Thank you! Thank you!
[Silence from the audience, crickets chirping]
Daffy Duck: [disappointed, but sarcastically] Very funny. Leth's all laugh at the duck!
Announcer: And the point guard, standing three foot three, four feet if you include the ears, Co-captain of the toon squad, the Doctor of Delight: Bugs Bunny!
Bugs: Thank you! Thank you!
Announcer: And now, the player coach of the Toon Squad, at six foot six from North Carolina, his Royal Airness: Michael Jordan!

Daffy Duck: [after Stan enters the Toon Squad dressing room burned to a crisp by the Monstars] Looks like Stan just had a close encounter with a bug zapper.

Daffy Duck: Very funny. Leth's all laugh at the duck.

Michael Jordan: Someone has to go to my house and pick up my basketball gear.
Daffy: To your house? In 3-D land?


Bah Humduck!: A Looney Tunes Christmas (2006) (V)
Priscilla Pig: Happy Holidays Mr. Duck. We're collecting donations for needy families.
Daffy Duck: Well, that's an interesting spin on trespassing, pandering, and illegal solicitation... Scram before I send you all to elf prison!

Daffy Duck: Wake up and smell the coffee Fudd! What does he think this is? A holiday?

Speedy Gonzales: Oh Merry Christmas Senor Duck, or as they say in my country Feliz Navidad!
[under his breath]
Speedy Gonzales: Tonto.
Daffy Duck: What did you call me?
Speedy Gonzales: Tonto... it means genius... in Spanish.
Daffy Duck: Well, in that case, I guess I'm the biggest tonto in the world!

Daffy Duck: [with his usual lisp] Stop snacking on store merchandise mister or I'll see to it that you're arrested for stealing!
Bugs Bunny: [wiping his face with Daffy's necktie] You might wanna stay away from the "s" words until you work through that little spitting problem of yours.
Porky Pig: M-m-m-maybe you could see a speech thera-pe-thera-pe thera-pe... specialist.

Daffy Duck: I've never liked families. But I do love money!

Daffy Duck: I'm not afraid of ghosts. In fact, I'm not afraid of anything. Except perhaps low quarterly profit projections and personal intimacy.

Daffy Duck: [startled] What are you doing here?
Bugs Bunny: I asked the little guy in the helmet downstairs if he knew of any cheap skates and he sent me up here.

Daffy Duck: What is it with you and your daughter? You act like you're her father or something!

Daffy Duck: That was despicable.

Yosemite Sam: I'm the ghost of Christmas present you greedy little holiday wrecking varmint.
Daffy Duck: That's only part of who I am. I'm actually quite complex.

Daffy Duck: You have a firm grasp of guilt Mr. Ghost but you just don't understand the first thing about greed.

Daffy Duck: It's a good thing I don't pay overtime.

Daffy Duck: Who needs a white Christmas when you can have a green one instead?

Sylvester the Cat: You see, I was just like you once: small-minded, selfish and seriously greedy. And if you don't change your ways, you'll end up just like yours truly.
Daffy Duck: Not a chance. I'd never be stupid enough to buy my employees a forklift.

Granny: Now what have you learned?
Daffy Duck: That life is cruel, and the only way to survive is to be as selfish as possible?


Daffy Duck's Quackbusters (1988)
Daffy: You say the Loch Ness Monster is living in your jacuzzi?
[rolls eyes]
Daffy: Well, call Roto-Rooter!

Daffy: Just call Daffy Duck, Bugs Bunny and Porky Pig, paranormalists at large. Spooks spooked, goblins gobbled, UFOs K.O.ed, aliens alienated, vampires evaporated, and monsters remonstrated.

Daffy: [to Porky] Head on down to the Superstitious Mountains, and do some more snooping.

Daffy Duck: Well I'm here, what've I missed? Massacre started yet? Fireworks going off? Balloon going up?

Bugs Bunny: Well what do ya know! He melted. He really was a snowman!
Daffy Duck: Abominable, that is.

Daffy Duck: Oh Bugsy! Bugsy buddy!
Bugs Bunny: Oh hi, uh, what's up, Duck?
Daffy Duck: Come here old pal, hm?
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: [picks up Bugs Bunny] My OWN little bunny rabbit, d'oy.
Bugs Bunny: Hey! An abominabuble snowman!
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: I will name him George, and I will hug him, and pet him...
Daffy Duck: Oh sure, I know I'm a louse, but I'm a live louse.
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: And I will give him security! And I will keep him warm like a mother hen, so he will never feel rejected or lack for love.
Daffy Duck: Poor old Bugs. But, anyway you look at it, it's better HE should suffer. After all, it was me or him, and obviously it couldn't be me. It's a simple matter of logic. I'm not like other people, I can't stand pain, it hurts me.

Daffy: [trying to sell a car] Right this way, folks, right this way! It's a bargain! Step right up and get yourself a brand new Dolorian! No household should be without one! Just $60,000 in three easy weekly installments. Yes sir, these little babies are selling like hotcakes! Plus, there's a free gift pack of ice-cold Billy Beer with each and ever purchase!

Butler: [answers door] Yeeeessss?
Daffy Duck: Your troubles are over, Jeeves! Leave me to your stricken master.
Butler: Be gone!
Daffy Duck: Can't go in, huh?
Butler: Eeh, no.
Daffy Duck: Ohwell, no hard feelings, shake.
[shocks Butler with hand buzzer, squirts him with flower, hits him in the face with a cigarette box, and tickles him]
Butler: [laughing] Oh oh, you can see him, you can see him! Right this way.

Daffy Duck: It all adds up. You and the upstairs maid, 'do the old boy in' you said, 'elderberry wine and old lace' you said, 'then, the quick getaway' you said. Champagne nights, tropical music and a heavy bank account!
Butler: No no!
Daffy Duck: Yes yes! But you weren't clever enough, were you John, alias Johnny, alias Jack, alias Jackie? Whew! What's Humphrey Bogart got that I ain't got?

Daffy Duck: Alright, what's holdin' up the works. What's all the... the... huh.
[sees Abominable Snowman]
Daffy Duck: Aaahh!
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: D'oh! What a cute little pink bunny rabbit.
[picks up Daffy]
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Just what I always wanted. My own little bunny rabbit! I will name him George, and I will hug him, and pet him, and squeeze him.
Daffy Duck: I'm not a bunny rabbit.
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: And pat him, and pet him, and...
Daffy Duck: You're hurting me... put me down, please.
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: And rub him, and caress him, and...
Daffy Duck: I AIN'T NO BUNNY RABBIT!
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Not a bunny rabbit, George? Then how come you have long ears, how come?
Daffy Duck: Long ears? Ooh!
[laughs]
Daffy Duck: Those aren't ears, those are sleeves! So, now put me down, please, huh?
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Oh George... you were naughty to pretend you was a bunny rabbit. I will punish you good. Bad old George!

Bugs Bunny: Ok Abom, here's your bunny rabbit.
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: D'oya... bunny rabbit... George?
Daffy Duck: Bunny rabbit, me?
Bugs Bunny: Yes, you, Doc.
Daffy Duck: Ho ho, very funny, ha ha, very droll. Hey, shorty! What do you consider to be the distinguishing characteristics of a rabbit?
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: D'oy... distinguishing... character...
Daffy Duck: Yeah, yeah, what makes a rabbit look like a rabbit?
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Why, d'uh, d'uh, long ears!
Daffy Duck: And whom around here has long ears?
[to Bugs]
Daffy Duck: Sorry to hafta do this to ya, bud.
Bugs Bunny: [ties ears down around face] Eh, don't give it a second thought.
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: [picks up Daffy] Oh boy! Just what I always wanted! My own little bunny rabbit! I will...
Bugs Bunny: They really do make a charming couple.
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: ...and pet him, and squeeze him, and rub him, and stroke his bill, and rub his pretty feathers... Hey, wait a minute. Bunny rabbits don't have feathers and bills.
Daffy Duck: I know, I know.
[pointing at Bugs, who is tunneling away]
Daffy Duck: There's goes your bunny rabbit!
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Hey, uh, George, wait!
[tunnels after Bugs]
Daffy Duck: Ho ho, look out, bunny rabbit! This I gotta see.
[tunnels after Bugs and Hugo]

Possessed Duck-Woman: Ou-yay upid-stay erk-jay!
[Pig Latin for "You stupid jerk"]
Daffy Duck: And I thought French was a romantic language!
Possessed Duck-Woman: Mary had a little lamb...
[turns into a demon]
Possessed Duck-Woman: But I *ate* it!


Riff Raffy Daffy (1948)
[Porky Pig steps into the room and closes the door behind him, looking very mutinous]
Daffy Duck: How did you get in, gang buster?
Porky Pig: Ble-ble-er-er with this!
[Porky Pig holds up a key with a skull on one end]
Daffy Duck: [walking towards him] Skeleton key eh? Where did you pick that up?
[Daffy slaps Porky Pig to the ground and laughs]

Daffy Duck: [after being thrown out of the city park] Coldest night in 64 years. No place to sleep. All I need now is for it to start snowing.
[it starts snowing and Daffy is almost completely covered by it]
Daffy Duck: [after the snow stops] I had to open my big beak!
[shakes off the snow]
Daffy Duck: Now what am I gonna do?

[Daffy jumps into a bed and pretends to be asleep, but Porky Pig grabs him and points his club at him]
Daffy Duck: Eek!
[makes Porky Pig walk backwards by walking against him]
Daffy Duck: You are aware of course, that you are vilating the sensory of an American home! If you haven't got a warrent sir, get out, before I call the cop!
[four ominous notes of music are heard]
Daffy Duck: Now go!
[Daffy presses a button with the word ELEVATOR next to it and Porky Pig steps backwards into the shaft. Daffy looks up, high-pitched whistling getting higher and higher comes from the elevator and an explosion is heard at the top of the shaft]

[Daffy is sleeping sideways in a armchair as Porky Pig is about to hit him with an axe]
Daffy Duck: [wakes up, jumps to avoid the axe, which slices the chair in half as Daffy puts his hand on Porky Pig's face] Just a minute! You're gonna hurt somebody that way!
[Daffy looks at the camera]
Daffy Duck: Probably me.

Porky Pig: I know how I can get that dog-gone duck.
[Porky picks up a "Duck Call" whistle]
Porky Pig: Th-this oughta bring him out.
[Porky Pig blows the whistle]
Daffy Duck: [standing behind him] Did you call?

Daffy Duck: [running whilst counting a large bundle of cash] You say some ducks will do for money!

Daffy Duck: [walks out of a room dusting his hands] You missed me.
[Daffy comes face to face with a cannon that Porky Pig is ready to fire]
Porky Pig: Ble-ble-er-er this won't miss you!

Daffy Duck: [casually walking away from the elevator shaft] Oh Daffy, you have a good head on your shimmering shoulders.
[Porky Pig appears and hits Daffy on the head with his club. A large red lump comes up on Daffy's head and stars appear in his eyes]
Daffy Duck: [floating] Officer, do you have an aspirin? My head is splitting.
Porky Pig: Ble-ble-er-er yes. Well I think so.
[Daffy collapses]
Porky Pig: [afraid] Gee-gee-gee-gee, maybe I hit him too hard. Uh, speak to me! Say something! Anything!
Daffy Duck: [jumps up with excitement] I LOVE YOU HORTENSE!

[Daffy is sleeping in a trash can when Porky Pig arrives and hits the trash can three times with his club]
Daffy Duck: [appears, holding a candle] Something the matter?
Porky Pig: Ble-ble-er-er plenty! No sleeping in trash cans, bud! Now-now move along there!

[Daffy comes face to face with Porky Pig, who is holding a bow and arrow]
Daffy Duck: [protesting] Stop! Don't do anything rash! Stop staring at me with those little piggy eyes! Let's be fulized about this!
[as he speaks, Daffy glues Porky Pig's hand to the arrow with a brush. Porky Pig fires the arrow, but the arrow pulls Porky Pig into a cuckoo clock, leaving Daffy standing in front of the bow]

[Porky Pig picks up and carries away a hammock Daffy is sleeping in. But Daffy wakes up, takes a firework rocket from a stall, lights it and gets out of the hammock without Porky Pig noticing]
Daffy Duck: [disguised as an elevator man, opens the elevator doors for Porky Pig] This way sir. Watch your step. Face the front of the car please.
[Porky Pig turns around, still looking mutinous]
Daffy Duck: [presses the buttons next to the elevator] Going up.
[the firework rocket goes off, taking Porky Pig to the top of the elevator shaft where a loud explosion is heard. Daffy watches as Porky Pig comes back down the shaft]


The Ducksters (1950)
Daffy Duck: I will now play a passage from a famous opera, and you must name the opera.
Porky Pig: But... but I'm weary.
Daffy Duck: Listen carefully!
[plays a single note on piano]
Daffy Duck: And there you have it! Now, what's the opera?
Porky Pig: C-Cavalleria Rusticana?
Daffy Duck: Audience?
Audience: Rigoletto!

Daffy Duck: Who was the Father of our country?
Porky Pig: Th-That's easy! G-George W-Wash...
[Alarm clock rings, Daffy hits Porky repeatedly with mallet]
Daffy Duck: Aw, I'm sorry! Time's up! You don't get the Super Chief, but you're still the winner of the Rocky Mountains, a 17-jeweled Half Nelson, and the La Brea Tar Pits!
Porky Pig: L-Lucky me!

Daffy Duck: This program is brought to you by the Eagle Hands Laundry. Does your eagle have dirty mitts?

Daffy Duck: Listen, bub, you've got 32 teeth, would you like to try for 16?
Porky Pig: Are you th-th-threatening me, because I...
Daffy Duck: HHHHHHHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPP! This cry for help has been brought to you by the Eagle Hand Laundry.

Porky Pig: Pardon me, but may I have my jackpot?
Daffy Duck: Oh, well, fair is fair.
[giving Porky a cauldron]
Daffy Duck: Here's you pot, Jack.
Porky Pig: B-but my name's isn't Jack
Daffy Duck: It's not? Oh, I'm sorry. This pot was made for Jack. Jack-pot, get it? Your name isn't Jack, so you must pay the penalty!

Porky Pig: [on a conveyor belt, about to be cut by a buzzsaw] T-the cotton gin was invented by Eli Whitney.
Daffy Duck: [stops the buzzsaw] You're absolutely correct! And let me remind you again, folks, that you're listening to Truth or -Aaaugh! Brought to you by the Eagle Hand Laundry. If your eagle's hands are dirty, we'll wash them clean. Now, back to our contestant. Mwahahahah!

Daffy Duck: The next question is: What was Cleopatra's aunt's maiden name?
Porky Pig: Which one? Her maternal aunt, or her paternal?
Daffy Duck: Here, watch your language, bud. We're on the air.

Daffy Duck: In my hand you'll notice I hold two buzzers. You must push one. Hurry now. Which one? Quick! Good, clean, wholesome fun!
[Porky pushes one buzzer; a safe falls on him]
Daffy Duck: You're a great sport. A great sport!
Porky Pig: C-could I please take my prizes and g-go home now? I-I'm not feeling too well.
Daffy Duck: And for being such a great sport, I'm going to let you push the other button and win a prize. Come on, now. Don't be bashful. Push.
[Porky pushes the other buzzer; a huge boulder falls on him]
Daffy Duck: And the gentleman wins the Rock of Gibraltar! And that's not all. The gentleman also wins six hundred gallons of genuine Niagara Falls.
[Water falls on Porky]
Daffy Duck: Give the lucky winner a hand, folks.

Daffy Duck: Guess who Miss Shush is and I'll give you 26 million dollars and three cents.
Porky Pig: W-w-well, now, I...
Daffy Duck: Here's the clue. This is the sound of Miss Shush brushing her teeth on Wednesday.
[plays record]
Daffy Duck: Now who is Miss Shush?
Porky Pig: L-L-Lauren Bacall?
Daffy Duck: Oh, I'm sorry. But don't be discouraged. Miss Shush is right here in this studio, and I'm going to let you meet her. The famous movie star, Miss Shush!
[Opens dressing room door]
Porky Pig: Oh b-b-boy! I-I'll add to my autograph collection.
[Enters]
Daffy Duck: Miss Shush is in there, all right, but what I didn't tell him was that Miss Shush is really Mamie, the 600-pound gorilla, who appears in Obnoxious Pictures' "Jungle Jitters."
[Offstage growls and thrashing sounds]
Daffy Duck: Next contestant, please.

Daffy Duck: And for being such a good sport, I'm going to give you the 26 million dollars and three cents.
Porky Pig: [on phone] H-hello, I would like to speak to the president of the Ajax Broadcasting Company.
[pause]
Porky Pig: H-hello? How much will you take for your television network?
[pause]
Porky Pig: Eh, 26 million dollars and three cents? Sold!
Daffy Duck: [uneasy] Hello, boss.
[gulps]
Porky Pig: [snatches Daffy's answer sheet] In w-what latitude and l-longitude did the wreck of the Hesperus occur?
Daffy Duck: Well, I...
Porky Pig: [hits Daffy repeatedly with a mallet] Oh, I'm sorry. Time's up. So y-you must pay the penalty.
Daffy Duck: Anyone for tennis?
[water, a safe, and a boulder fall on Daffy]
Daffy Duck: [on the conveyor belt of the buzzsaw] Have you got a doctor on the balcony, lady?


The Great Piggy Bank Robbery (1946)
Daffy Duck: [seeing a doormat labeled "Trap Door"] A trap door, no doubt. Very ingenious.
[Steps to one side]
Daffy Duck: Duck Twacy is too smart for a trick like that! I shall ring the bell from here.
[Rings bell with a pointer; ground opens up beneath him and he falls to the basement]
Daffy Duck: Was that trip really necessary?

Daffy Duck: I'm gonna pin it on ya, see? I'm gonna pin it on ya!
[Fade to Daffy playing Pin the Tail on the Donkey]
Daffy Duck: I'll pin it on ya or my name ain't Duck Twacy.

Daffy Duck: Rubber Head!
Rubber Head: I'm gonna r-r-r-r-rub you out, see? R-r-r-r-r-r-rub you out!
[Rubber Head erases Daffy with his head]
Daffy Duck: Fantastic! And furthermore, it's unbelieva...
[erased completely]
Daffy Duck: [coming out of door] ... ble.

[Daffy, as Duck Twacy, is following clues when he bumps into Mr. Holmes of London]
Daffy Duck: Scram, Sherlock. I'm working this side of the street.
[shoves him aside and continues on]

Daffy Duck: Hey, Taxi! Taxi!
[a taxi stops]
Daffy Duck: Follow that car!
[the taxi goes off without him]
Daffy Duck: Keeps them on their toes.

[Duck Twacy follows a trail of footprints to a mouse hole]
Daffy Duck: Aha! It's Mouseman! Come on out, you rat! Come on out!
[a huge Mouseman appears]
Daffy Duck: [Gulp] G-go back in again.

Daffy Duck: Say, it looks like a piggy bank crime wave. Why don't people keep their piggy banks on a safe place, like I do?
[opens his safe; it's empty]
Daffy Duck: It's gone! My piggy bank's been stolen! Oh, agony! A-go-ny!

[Daffy, as Duck Twacy, is following footsteps by walking up a wall]
Daffy Duck: Must be the human fly.
[Starts to walk across the ceiling]
Daffy Duck: Nothing's impossible to Duck Twacy!

[Duck Twacy is surrounded by a gang of crooks]
Daffy Duck: Snake Eyes! Agh! Eighty-Eight Teeth! Hammerhead! Oh, no, Pussycat! Pussycat Puss! Bat Man! Double-Header! P-p-picklepuss! P-p-p-pumpkin Head! Neon Noodle! Juke Box Jaw! Wolf Man!
Wolf Man: Woof! Awoooooo! Woof!
Daffy Duck: You're all under arrest!
[all the villains roar at him. He runs off]

Neon Noodle: [putting his see-through hands over Daffy's eyes] Guess who?
Daffy Duck: Neon Noodle?
[shouts]
Daffy Duck: Neon Noodle? Aauggh!


Duck! Rabbit, Duck! (1953)
[Elmer has shot Daffy one too many times]
Daffy Duck: Shoot me again! I enjoy it! I love the smell of burnt feathers, and gunpowder, and cordite! I'm an elk! Shoot me, go on! It's elk season! I'm a fiddler crab! Why don't you shoot me? It's fiddler crab season!

Daffy: Boy, am I a pigeon!
Bugs' Sign: Pigeon Season.

[Daffy is writing a license to shoot a fricasseeing rabbit to Elmer Fudd]
Daffy: This license permits bearer to shoot a frica... Hey, bud, how do you spell "Fricasseeing".
Bugs: F-R-I-C-A-S-S-E-E-I-N-G... eh, D-U-C-K!
[Daffy gives Elmer the license]
Daffy: Here you are, Leatherstocking. All nice and legal.
[Elmer pauses to read the license]
Daffy: [impatiently] Hurry up, hurry up! The fine print doesn't mean a thing!
[Elmer looks confused]
Daffy: Hurry up, Hurry up!
[Elmer shoots Daffy; his beak spins around]
Daffy: Hey, let's see that thing!
[reading]
Daffy: ... fricasseeing duck. Well, I guess I'm the goat.
Sign: Goat Season Open!
[Elmer shoots the "goat"]

Elmer: [after shooting a rabbit Bugs made out of snow] Good heavens! He disintegwated.
[Bugs comes down as the "angel" of the snow rabbit]
Bugs: Eh, what's up, doc? How are things down here on Earth?
Elmer: I'm sowwy, Mr. Wabbit. I hope I didn't hurt you too much when I killed you.
Daffy: Are you nuts? Why, if he's dead, then I'm a mongoose!
Bugs' Sign: Mongoose Season.
[Elmer shoots the "mongoose"]

Daffy: You're a dirty dog...
Bugs: And YOU are a dirty skunk!
Daffy: I'm a dirty skunk? I'M a dirty skunk?
[Bugs holds up a sign saying "Dirty Skunk Season" - Elmer, predictably, lets him have it]

Bugs Bunny: Just between the two of us, what season is it, really?
Daffy Duck: Ha, ha, ha! Don't be so naive, buster. Why, everybody knows it's really duck hunting season.
[Hunters suddenly materialize and shoot Daffy; he drags himself towards Bugs]
Daffy Duck: [panting] You're despicable!

Daffy Duck: I am a duck bent on self-preservatimun-minum.

Daffy Duck: Now then, you've got it straight: You're not gonna pay no more attention to no more signs! You're just gonna listen to me, right?
Elmer Fudd: Wight.
Bugs: [disguised as a duck] Quack! Quack!
[moves his eyebrows up and down]
Daffy Duck: Oh, so that's his little game is it? Shoot the duck! Shoot the duck!
Elmer Fudd: [shoots Daffy Duck]

Daffy Duck: [to Elmer about Bugs] What is this, a cooking class? Shoot him! Shoot him!
Elmer Fudd: But I haven't got a wicense to shoot a fwicasseeing wabbit.

Daffy Duck: All right now, let's go over it once more: now, what are you?
Elmer Fudd: I'm a hunter.
Daffy Duck: And what season is it?
Elmer Fudd: Wabbit season.
Daffy Duck: [pointing to Bugs] And there's a rabbit! Shoot him! Shoot him!
[Elmer hurries over to blast Bugs, but actually just blasts to smithereens a snowman dummy version of him]
Elmer Fudd: Good heavens! He disintegwated.


The Abominable Snow Rabbit (1961)
Daffy Duck: Poor Bugs. But any way you look at it, it's better he should suffer. After all, I was me or him, and, obviously, it couldn't be me. It's a simple matter of logic. I'm not like other people. I can't stand pain. It hurts me.

Hugo the Abominable Snowman: [holding Daffy, whose shirt makes him look like a rabbit] Oh, what a cute little pink bunny rabbit!
[cradling Daffy]
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Just what I always wanted. My own little bunny rabbit. I will name him George, and I will hug him and pet him and squeeze him...
Daffy Duck: I'm not a bunny rabbit...
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: ...and pat him and pet him and...
Daffy Duck: You're hurting me. Put me down, please.
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: ...and rub him and caress him and...
Daffy Duck: I AIN'T NO BUNNY RABBIT!

Daffy Duck: [to Bugs, after they surface in the Himalayas] You and your shortcuts. I told you to turn west at East St. Louis.
Bugs Bunny: Yeah, I know.
[looks at map]
Bugs Bunny: The way I figure it, we're somewhere in the Hi-may-lay-us mountains.
Daffy Duck: That's pronounced "Himalayas".
[suddenly shocked]
Daffy Duck: *Himalayas*? Why, you four-legged Marco Polo! That's in Asia!
[shivering]
Daffy Duck: Himalayas! No wonder it's so cold!

Daffy Duck: Old pal, do me a favor, will you? Just don't do me any more favors. You just stay here and study to be a snowshoe rabbit. I'm going back to Perth Amboy.

Daffy Duck: Oh, sure I know I'm a louse. But I'm a live louse.

Hugo the Abominable Snowman: ...rub him and pet him and squeeze him and rub him. I will stroke his bill and rub his pretty feathers... Hey, wait a minute! Bunny rabbits don't have feathers and bills.
Daffy Duck: I know! I know! There goes your bunny rabbit!

Bugs Bunny: Okay, Abom. Here's your bunny rabbit.
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Duh, bunny rabbit, George?
Daffy Duck: Bunny rabbit? Me?
Bugs Bunny: Yes, you, doc.
Daffy Duck: Ho, ho, very funny. Ha, ha, very droll. Hey, shorty! What do you consider to be the distinguishing characteristics of a rabbit?
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Distinguishing character, uh...
Daffy Duck: Yeah, yeah! What makes a rabbit look like a rabbit?
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Why, duh, duh, long ears!
Daffy Duck: And whom around here has long ears? Sorry to have to do this to you, bud.
Bugs Bunny: [has tied down his ears and sticks two fingers behind Daffy's head] Eh. Don't give it a second thought.
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: [grabs Daffy] Oh, boy! Just like I always wanted! My own little bunny rabbit.
Bugs Bunny: They really do make a charming couple.

[last lines]
[at Palm Springs, the Abominable Snowman is talking to Bugs, unrecognizable in a robe, shades and hat]
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: And I searched and I searched - ooh, it's hot - but I never caught up with my little bunny rabbit.
Bugs Bunny: Gee, that's tough, Mr. Abdominabubble.
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: And now I'll never - gosh, it's hot - never see my bunny rabbit again.
Bugs Bunny: Don't give up hope yet, doc. If you love him, he'll come back.
[hearing Daffy approaching through the burrow, Bugs holds a hood with rabbit ears over the hole, so that Daffy slides into it when he emerges]
Daffy Duck: Well, here I am! Massacre started yet? Fireworks gone off? Balloon gone up?
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: Oh, boy, a bunny rabbit! Just what I always wanted!
[grabs Daffy]
Hugo the Abominable Snowman: I will name him George...
Bugs Bunny: And I will hug him and squeeze him and pet him and pat him and... Hey!
[Where the Abominable Snowman once sat there is now a puddle with his hat floating in it]
Bugs Bunny: Hey, what do you know? He melted! He really was a snowman.
Daffy Duck: [emerging from the puddle] Abominable, that is.

[Daffy is trying to tunnel back to Perth Amboy, but hits a blockage in the tunnel]
Daffy Duck: [popping his head out of the snow] All right, what's holding up the works? What's all the... the...
[he looks up to see what's causing the blockage: the abominable snowman's foot]
Daffy Duck: Aah!


Rabbit Fire (1951)
[Elmer Fudd shoots Daffy and makes his face go upside-down]
Daffy: Whatsa matter? Everything's upside-down. That's strange. Can't make heads or tails of things.

Bugs: [pulls out "1000 Ways to Cook A Duck"] Fillet of duck Bordelaise maitre d'butter. Yum-yum. Duck polonaise under glass. Mmm-mm.
Daffy: [pulls out "1000 Ways to Cook a Rabbit"] Rabbit au gratin de gelatin under tooled leather. Oh, drool, drool.
Bugs: Barbecued duck meat with broiled duck bill Milanese. Yummy-yum.
Daffy: Chicken-fried rabbit with cottontail sauce braised in carrots. Mm-mmm.

Bugs: Say, doc, are you trying to get yourself in trouble with the law? This ain't wabbit huntin' season.
Elmer Fudd: It's not?
Bugs: No, it's duck huntin' season.
Daffy: That, sir, is an in-mitigated frab-rication. It's wabbit season.
Bugs: Duck season.
Daffy: Wabbit season.
Bugs: Duck season.
Daffy: Wabbit season.
Bugs: Duck season.
Daffy: Wabbit season.
Bugs: Wabbit season.
Daffy: Duck season.
Bugs: Wabbit season.
Daffy: I say it's duck season. And I say fire!

[last lines]
Bugs: Shh! Be vewy, vewy quiet. We're hunting Elmers.
Daffy: Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Daffy: [disguised as Bugs] Eh, what's up, doc? Having any luck on those ducks? It's duck season, you know.
Bugs: [disguised as Daffy] Just a darn minute. Where do you get that duck season stuff?
Daffy: Says so right over there on that sign, if you're so smart.
[the sign reads "rabbit season"]
Daffy: You know what to do with that gun, doc.
[Elmer shoots Daffy]
Daffy: [to Bugs] You're despicable.

Daffy: Survival of the fittest... and besides, it's fun.

Daffy: Yes, you're despicable, and... and... and picable! And... and you're very definitely despicable. How a person can get so... so despicable in one lifetime is beyond me. It isn't as though I... I haven't met a lot of people. Goodness knows it isn't that. It isn't that's... that. Goodness knows. It isn't... it's... it's... it's despicable.

Elmer Fudd: [pulls rifle trigger] Well, what do you know? No more buwwets.
Bugs: No more buwwets?
Bugs: [to Daffy] Hey, Laughing Boy, no more buwwets!
Daffy: No more buwwets? Here, let me see that thing.
[Daffy looks into shaft]
Daffy: Hmm.
[the gun fires in Daffy's face]
Elmer Fudd: Well, what do you know? One buwwet left!
Bugs: One buwwet left? Hey, Laughing Boy, there was...
Daffy: [as his scalp, with a bullet lodged in it, flaps behind him] I know, I *know*!

Elmer Fudd: I'm sowwy, fewwas, but I'm a vegetawian. I just hunt for the sport of it. Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
Bugs: Oh, yeah? Well, there's other sport besides huntin', ya know!
Daffy: Anyone for tennis?
[Elmer shoots Daffy]
Daffy: Nice game!


Box-Office Bunny (1990)
Daffy Duck: Seven bucks for a movie! The price for an evening of puerile entertainment is preposterous! I could better spend an evening in the library, which is why I always carry this.

Elmer Fudd: Sneak into my theater will you, you wasically wabbit?
Daffy Duck: "Wabbit?" Pardon, mon frere, but this is the rabbit you seek. I'm no rabbit.
Bugs Bunny: Well, if he's no rabbit, then where are his ears?
Daffy Duck: Yeah, Einstein, if I'm no rabbit, then where are my - - oh no, nuh-uh. End of discussion. I've come too far. I'm above all that now.
Bugs Bunny: But not above sneaking into movie theaters.
Daffy Duck: Yeah, but not above sneak - -
[to Elmer]
Daffy Duck: Are you going to stand around jabbering all day? Catch this guy!

[Elmer is chasing Bugs]
Daffy Duck: Attaboy, Robespierre! Capture the scoundrel! Let justice prevail!

[Bugs is still disguised as a snack bar attendant]
Daffy Duck: Look, my little gluttonous friend does anything here appear to be out of the ordinary?
Elmer Fudd: They're all out of gum dwops?

[Daffy and Elmer have been sent flying into a movie]
Daffy Duck: Hey! We're in pictures!
[a Jason Voorhees-look alike appears and revs his chainsaw]
Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd: AAHH!
Daffy Duck: Let me out of here!
Elmer Fudd: Let me out of here!
Daffy Duck: Wah-ha-ha-ha!
Elmer Fudd: Let us out of here!
[Bugs is in the audience watching]
Bugs Bunny: It takes a miracle to get into pictures, and now these two jokers wanna get out.

Daffy Duck: Let me make it easy you, Sherlock. This is the rabbit.
Elmer Fudd: Hey, you're right.
[Bugs runs away]
Daffy Duck: After him!

Daffy Duck: Knock it off, Baryshnikov. He's getting away.

[Elmer and Daffy bursts through the "That's All Folks!" ending card to escape out of the movie]
Daffy Duck and Elmer Fudd: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Bugs Bunny: And That's All, Folks.

[Bugs escapes from Daffy and Elmer]
Daffy Duck: After him!
[Daffy and Elmer chase after Bugs, but Bugs spills butter all over the floor and Daffy and Elmer are slipping on the butter]


Ali Baba Bunny (1957)
Bugs Bunny: What's with you, anyway?
Daffy Duck: I can't help it. I'm a greedy slob. It's my hobby. Save me!

Genie: Duck, you have desecrated the spirit of the lamp! Prepare to take the consequences!
Daffy Duck: Consequences, shmonsequences, as long as I'm rich.

Daffy Duck: I'm rich. I'm wealthy. Yahoo. I'm comfortably well off.

Bugs Bunny: Well, here we are! Pismo Beach and all the clams we can eat!
Daffy Duck: What a way for a duck to travel. Underground. Hey, wait a minute! Since when is Pismo Beach inside a cave?
[Daffy's eyes glaze over as he sees the treasure; Bugs doesn't notice it]
Bugs Bunny: I wonder... You know, I just bet we shoulda turned left at Albuquerque, and then maybe a right turn at La Jolla. Hmm, er... Well, we can't be too far off, so if we...
Daffy Duck: [pushing Bugs down into the burrow] It's mine, you understand? Mine! All mine! Get back in there! Down, down, down! Go, go, go! Mine, mine, mine! Mwa-ha-ha-ha!

[last lines]
Bugs Bunny: [opening a clam] I wonder how that crazy duck ever made out with that genie? Hey, whaddya know, a pearl!
[a shrunken Daffy runs out of the hole and goes for the pearl]
Daffy Duck: It's mine, you understand? Mine, mine! All mine! Go, go, go! Mine, do you hear me? Out, out, out! Mine, mine, mine! Go away! There's only enough for me!
Bugs Bunny: Oh, brother. Close, sesame.
[Bugs closes the clam on Daffy]
Daffy Duck: I'm rich. I'm a happy miser.

Daffy Duck: I'm rich! I'm wealthy! I'm independent! I'm socially secure!

Daffy Duck: [to Hassan] Ah, redcap. Call me a cab, boy, and be quick about it. I'm a heavy tipper.

Bugs Bunny: [as he sits in a bottle] Me Genie, the light, brown hare!
Hassan: Oh, Mighty Genie.
Bugs Bunny: Release me, and I shall grant thee a rich reward.
Daffy Duck: He's lyin'! Chop 'im! Chop 'im!
Hassan: Hassan release you, oh, Master.
[He shakes Bugs out of the bottle]
Bugs Bunny: Thank you, Hassan. Now, wouldst thou like to have all this treasure for thy very own?
Hassan: Oh, yes, Master. Hassan like. Hassan like!
Bugs Bunny: Very well. Ickity ackity ooh, eh eh! Ziggity zaggity zoo, eh eh! Ooh, ooh, ptht! Ah, ah, ptht! Flippity flappity floop! It's yours.
[Hassan dives into the treasure. Daffy looks on, disgusted]
Daffy Duck: [sarcastically] Ickity ackity oop! Oh, oh, squeak, ah, ah, ptht...

Daffy Duck: [frantically offers Bugs a huge diamond] Quick! Quick! Save me, pal, and it's yours! Gorgeous, isn't it? Don't be afraid. Have it appraised anyplace.
[Bugs tosses the diamond aside]
Daffy Duck: Proud punk!


Daffy Doodles (1946)
Daffy Duck: We've all got a mission in life; we get into different ruts. Some are the cogs on the wheels; others are just plain nuts.
[singing]
Daffy Duck: I'm just wild about Harry, and Harry's wild about me.
[speaking]
Daffy Duck: Science is some folks' calling; others pilot a ship. My mission in life, stated simply, is: a mustache on every lip!

[singing]
Daffy Duck: She was an acrobat's daughter; she swung by her teeth from a noose. Till one matinee, the bridge-work gave way and she flew through the air like a goose!

[last lines]
Daffy Duck: Never again will I paint another mustache. I'm doing beards now!

[first lines]
Narrator: In a large, eastern city, a demon is on the loose. The people are terrified, the police baffled. With diabolical cleverness, the monster strikes without warning... and draws mustaches on all the ads. No one knows who this fiend is. It could be you. It could be me.
Daffy Duck: But it happens to be me!

Daffy Duck: [sees giant billboard] Wow! It's colossal! It's stupendous! It's magnificent! This'll be my masterpiece!

Daffy Duck: [saves Porky from falling] Very sporting of the little black duck.

Daffy Duck: Robbing the mail, eh? You'll swing for this. Wait'll J. Edgar Hoozit hears of this.

Daffy Duck: Judge, I beseech you. Have mercy. Consider my tender years. Don't send me up the river. Don't send me to Sing-Sing-Sing... Sing. Be magnanimous. You might be a fiend yourself some day. What do you say, your excelency?
Judge: Well, what do you say, jury?
Jury: [all Jerry Colonna look-alikes] Ah, yes! Not guilty!


Rabbit Seasoning (1952)
Bugs Bunny: Would you like to shoot me now or wait till you get home?
Daffy Duck: Shoot him now! Shoot him now!
Bugs Bunny: You keep outta this! He doesn't have to shoot you now!
Daffy Duck: He does so have to shoot me now!
[to Elmer]
Daffy Duck: I demand that you shoot me now!
[Elmer shoots him.]

Daffy Duck: Let'sth run through that again.
Bugs Bunny: Okay.
[in a flat tone]
Bugs Bunny: Wouldja like to shoot me now or wait till you get home?
Daffy Duck: [flat tone] Shoot him now, shoot him now.
Bugs Bunny: [flat tone] You keep outta this. He doesn't hafta shoot you now.
Daffy Duck: [with sudden passion] Ha! That's it! Hold it right there!
[to audience]
Daffy Duck: Pronoun trouble.
[to Bugs]
Daffy Duck: It's not: "He doesn't have to shoot *you* now." It's: "He doesn't have to shoot *me* now." Well, I say he does have to shoot me now!
[to Elmer]
Daffy Duck: So shoot me now!
[Elmer shoots him]

Daffy Duck: Now's your chance, Hawkeye! Shoot him! Shoot him!
Bugs Bunny: He's got me dead to rights, doc. Would you like to shoot him here or wait till you get home?
Daffy Duck: Oh, no you don't. Not this time!
[to Elmer]
Daffy Duck: Wait till you get home!

Daffy Duck: [to Bugs in drag] Out of sheer honesty, I demand that you tell him who you are! Well? Haven't you anything to say? Anything? Out of sheer honesty? Huh?
Bugs Bunny: [to Elmer, in a feminine voice] Yes. I would just love a duck dinner.
[Bugs kisses Elmer, who stumbles about in an amorous daze and shoots Daffy.]

[first lines]
Daffy Duck: Awfully unsporting of me, I know, but what the hey, I gotta have some fun. And besides, it's really duck season.

[last lines]
Daffy Duck: You're despicable.

Daffy Duck: This is preposthterousth-th!

[after being shot by Elmer]
Daffy Duck: No more for me thanks. I'm driving.


Deduce, You Say (1956)
[last lines]
Porky Watkins: Er, tell me, Holmes - at what school did you learn to be a detective?
Dorlock Holmes: Elementary, my dear Watkins, elementary.

Dorlock Holmes: You may be big, but I'm small.

Dorlock Holmes: I may be down, but the jig is up.

Dorlock Holmes: Watkins, in a moment there'll be a knock at the door heralding the start of the case of the Shropshire Slasher. Answer it. My pants are caught in a nail.

[as Watkins opens the door, the telegram boy falls]
Dorlock Holmes: Don't touch that body! A clear case of Karrer poisoning of one of Her Majesty's cold cream guards.
Telegram Boy: [Gets up] Telegram. You'd best have that step fixed, Gov'nor!
Dorlock Holmes: Just for that, you receive no gratuity.

Dorlock Holmes: Lady Asthabula, the last time we met was at Ascot, was it not? Ascot not.
[as he kisses her hand, he takes her finger prints]
Dorlock Holmes: Oh, you're still a fine figure of a woman.
[Examines fingerprints]
Dorlock Holmes: Egad! These look like a woman's fingerprints. Could it be possible that the Shropshire Slasher is really a...
Woman: Oh, Alfie, this cove's annoying me.
Alfie: [At the dart board] Oh, is he, now?
Dorlock Holmes: Oho! Alfie, is it? Where was you on the night of the...
[Is pelted with darts]
Dorlock Holmes: Well, he has eliminated him as a suspect.

Dorlock Holmes: All right, Watkins. Enough of your bumbling.
Porky Watkins: B-Bumbling upsets Holmes no end.

Shropshire Slasher's Mother: Care to buy some pretty pretties for your doxie, Gov'nor?
Dorlock Holmes: That does it! I'm gonna haul you in. Hawking dandelions without a license.
Shropshire Slasher: Mother!
Dorlock Holmes: Mother? Mother? Really?
[Shropshire Slasher beats up Holmes]


Duck Dodgers in the 24½th Century (1953)
Duck Dodgers: Ha ha! Got the drop on you with *my* disintegrating pistol! And brother, when it disintegrates, it disintegrates.
[fires; gun crumbles to ground]
Duck Dodgers: Heh, well, whaddaya know... it disintegrated.

Duck Dodgers: Are you ready, eager young space cadet?
Porky Pig: I-I-I'm r-r-r-all set, sir.
Duck Dodgers: Then make way for DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24 1/2TH CENTURY!
[Dodgers activates the controls, but the rocket sinks into the ground]
Duck Dodgers: Whoops! Had the silly thing in reverse.
[the rocket blasts off]

Duck Dodgers: That's the last straw! Now I use my secret weapon!

[last lines]
Duck Dodgers: And now this planet is hereby claimed for the Earth in the name of DUCK DODGERS IN THE 24 1/2TH CENTURY!
Porky Pig: B-b-b-b-big deal.

Duck Dodgers: Look, bud, I've got news for you. I have already claimed this bit of dirt for the Earth, and there just ain't room enough on this planet for the two of us.
Marvin Martian: I do believe you are right.
[Pulls his disintegrating pistol]
Duck Dodgers: Heh! Little does he realize that I have on my disintegration-proof vest. You may fire when ready, Gridley.
[Martin fires; Dodger is reduced to dust, but the vest is intact]

Duck Dodgers: And now then, eager young space cadet, here is the course we shall pursue to find Planet X. Starting from where we are, we go 33,600 turbo miles due up. Then west in an astro-arc deviation to here, then following the great circle seven radiolubes south by downeast. By astro-astroble to here, here, and here, then by space navigo-compass to here, here, and then to here and here. By thirteen point strato-cumulus bearing four million light-years, and thus to our destination. Now do you know how to reach Planet X?
Porky Pig: Y-y-ye... Oh sure.
Duck Dodgers: [Staring stunned at the cadet, then at the chart's ridiculously complex path] Well, I wish you'd explain it to me some time, buster!
Porky Pig: Why, it's very simple, sir.
[Points to progression of lettered planets]
Porky Pig: If we follow those planets, we can't very well miss Planet X.
Duck Dodgers: [laughing] Oh, that's ridiculous! Of all the stupid suggestions! Ha ha ha! Hey, wait a minute. I think I've got it. I'll just bet that if we follow those planets, we'll find Planet X. Gad! How do I do it?
Porky Pig: I d-d-don't know.

Duck Dodgers: I claim this planet in the name of the Earth!
Marvin Martian: I claim *this* planet in the name of Mars. Isn't that lovely?


Boobs in the Woods (1950)
[Porky is painting a lake]
Daffy Duck: Lake?
Porky Pig: Mmm-hmm.
Daffy Duck: That lake?
Porky Pig: Mmm-hmm.
Daffy Duck: That's my lake.
Porky Pig: Mmm-hmm.
Daffy Duck: You can't go around painting other people's property! At least have the decency to ask me if you can paint it!
Porky Pig: Okay, may I please paint your lake?
Daffy Duck: No. I don't want my lake painted.
Daffy Duck: [Daffy wipes it off of Porky's painting, with a cloth]
Daffy Duck: The mountains are okay, I don't own them.
Daffy Duck: [Daffy leaves Porky, just temporarily]
Porky Pig: [angrily] Ooh!
Daffy Duck: [Daffy returns, dressed in an old man's clothes] Hey there, sonny.
Porky Pig: And who are you?
Daffy Duck: I'm the old man of the mountains!
Daffy Duck: [Daffy then wipes the mountains off of Porky's painting]
Daffy Duck: And I don't want them painted!
Porky Pig: [Porky rips the disguise off of Daffy] You wait here, I've got something for you.
[Porky then laughs diabolically, after this remark]
Daffy Duck: I like him, he's crazy!

Daffy Duck: Hunting ducks out of season, eh? That goes tough on you around these parts. Executioner! Oh, executioner!
[Daffy walks off screen and returns, wearing an executioner's black hood & brandishing an ax]
Porky Pig: [Porky lays his neck on the chopping block] Gosh, they're sure strict around here.

Daffy Duck: [singing] Oh, people call me Daffy. They think that I am goony. Ah, just because I'm happy is no sign I'm looney tooney. Oh, when they say I'm nutsy. It sure gives me a pain. Please pass the ketchup, I think its going to rain. Oh, you can't bounce a meatball. Though try with all your might. Ah, turn on the radio, I want to fly a kite. Good evening, friends.

Daffy Duck: Have you a marriage license?
Porky Pig: G-g-gosh no, I'm not married.
Daffy Duck: Aha! Not married eh? Well,uh
[jumps into Porky's arms]
Daffy Duck: whaddya say you and me go steady?

Daffy Duck: Captain John Smith marry-um Pocahontas, raise-um little poker chips.

Porky Pig: [Porky always stutters, as he begins to speak. He threw a rock at Daffy] T-Take that, you w-web-footed maniac!
Daffy Duck: [Daffy is wearing a catcher's uniform, he catches the rock] Right over the middle! That's a-pitching 'em!
[Daffy throws the rock back to Porky]
Daffy Duck: He's stealing second! Cover the bag! Here he comes! Tag 'im!
[Porky catches the rock as Daffy slides below him]
Daffy Duck: [Daffy pushes Porky until he starts to run] Steal home, DiMaggio! It means the game! Atta boy, DiMaggio! Hit the dirt! Slide, DiMaggio, slide!
Porky Pig: [sliding] Hey! What am I sliding for? I'm not DiMaggio. My name's m-m-m...
[Porky then slides into a mud puddle]
Porky Pig: ...Mud.

[Porky is using Daffy as his car motor & closing lines, also]
Daffy Duck: He's got no right to do this to me!
[a license permit quickly pops up, it reads "Porky Pig's Permit to use Daffy Duck as motor"]
Daffy Duck: What a revolting development this is.
Porky Pig: When I get to California, I'll have his valves crowned.
[closing line & remark, before Closing Credits' sign appears]


Show Biz Bugs (1957)
Daffy Duck: Try not to trip me up with those big feet please.
Bugs Bunny: I'll try Daffy.

[first lines]
Daffy Duck: [a taxi pulls up to a theatre and Daffy steps out] How much, my good man?
Taxi Driver: Uh, one block, 25 cents.
Daffy Duck: 25 cents? It's robbery, but I'll pay it.

Daffy Duck: There can only be one explanation for white tile in a dressing room.
[Daffy turns a sign around on door, that reads MEN]
Daffy Duck: And that's it.

Daffy Duck: [as Daffy is booby-trapping Bugs' xylophone] When he strikes this note, instead of a xylophone, he'll be playing a harp
[daffy does an evil laugh]
Daffy Duck: .

[last lines;Daffy has blown himself up for a grand finale; the audience cheers]
Bugs Bunny: That's terrific, Daffy! They loved it.
[Bugs starts clapping]
Bugs Bunny: They want more.
Daffy Duck: [as a ghost rising to heaven] I know, I know, but I can only do it once.

Stage Manager: Daffy, we bill according to drawing power.
Daffy Duck: Oh, yeah? That rabbit couldn't draw flies if he was covered with syrup. Okay, this performance will prove I'm a star.

[after Daffy Duck concludes the dance he was not applauded]
Daffy Duck: Ingrates!


The Iceman Ducketh (1964)
Daffy Duck: [after being almost buried in the snow by an unexpected blizzard] Winter does settle in rather suddenly at last!

Bugs Bunny: [as Daffy levels his rifle at Bugs] Er, uh, do I understand that you bear some sort of antipathy toward me?
Daffy Duck: [determined] Antipathy, nothin'! I'm after that fur coat!
[Daffy feels Bugs' fur]
Daffy Duck: [impressed] Say, that's the softest pelt I've ever felt!
Bugs Bunny: Do you really like it? I get all my suits from the same tailor as the Duke of Windsor. I always get a good fit from him.
Daffy Duck: [levels his gun at Bugs again] Never mind the sales pitch! Just skin the rabbit!
Bugs Bunny: [pushing Daffy's gun away from him] Eh, give me a sporting chance, doc.
Daffy Duck: [angry] Stop fiddling with my rifle! I want to shoot you where it won't show!

Bugs Bunny: [climbs up a tree] You just can't get away from that pest.
Daffy Duck: [stops at the base of the tree] Aha! *Now* you're trapped!
[Daffy places small logs around the tree and lights them]
Daffy Duck: I'll smoke him out!
[Daffy laughes evilly and points his gun up the tree]
Daffy Duck: You haven't got a chance!
[the heat from the fire melts the snow and ice on the tree, which comes down, puts out the fire and freezes Daffy]
Bugs Bunny: [climbs down from the tree and walks away] I'll see you after the Spring thaw pal.
Daffy Duck: [climbs out of the ice and tries to free his gun, which is frozen] We'll see who has the last laugh around here!
[the gun goes off and Daffy avoids the shot]
Daffy Duck: [to the ice replica of himself] Hey! Whose side you on fella?

[Bugs kisses Daffy, jams the barrel of his gun with a carrot and runs away]
Daffy Duck: [trying to pull the carrot out] Dirtylittlecraddlefrajun...
[the gun goes off in Daffy's face]
Daffy Duck: Woo! I *love* him!

[Daffy drops dynamite into Bugs' borrow and hides behind a tree. However, the borrow moves and Bugs puts the dynamite behind Daffy and moves away without him noticing]
Daffy Duck: [looking out from behind the tree] I love doing this, especially because I DESPISE him!
[Daffy pushes the T-shaped handle down and the dynamite explodes right behind him]
Daffy Duck: I think I'm going to cry.

[last lines]
Bugs Bunny: Well, time to join in for a long Winter's nap.
[calls to a tree where some bears are sleeping]
Bugs Bunny: Ah, goodnight Daffy! Pleasent dreams!
Daffy Duck: [holding onto the top of the tree, shivering] Pleasent dreams yeah. Dirtylittlecraddlefrajun...

Daffy Duck: [Sees the snowman Bugs made of himself] Don't make a move or I'll pulverize you!
[the snowman's nose falls off]
Daffy Duck: You moved!
[Starts clubbing the snowman with his gun]
Daffy Duck: Take that and that and that!
[Realizes he's clubbing a bear underneath the snowman]
Daffy Duck: and that and that and... that
[cries]
Daffy Duck: [the bear takes a swipe at him] Fortunately he missed me
[His body falls to pieces]


Porky Pig's Feat (1943)
Daffy Duck: [after the manager falls down an almost endless flight of stairs] I guess I showed that overstuffed turnip.
Broken Arms Hotel Manager: [Appears wearing bandages] WHAT?
Daffy Duck: Yipe.
Porky Pig: M-m-me too. Yipe.

[first lines]
Porky Pig: [reading from his bill] "B-B-Broken Arms. B-bill. Room, uh, six-sixty-five dollars. Bath. Te-te-ten dollars and fifty cents. T-t-total: a hundred-and-fifty-two-dollars and fifty cents."
Broken Arms Hotel Manager: You will, of course, pay the bill now before you leave, no?
Porky Pig: N-no - I mean, yes! M-my partner, Daffy Duck, will be r-right back. He's out c-c-c-cashing a check.
[Cut to Daffy playing dice with elevator operator]
Daffy Duck: Come on, seven! Be good to Daffy! Don't fail me now!
Elevator Gambler: Oh-oh! Snake eyes. Too bad! You is a dead duck, duck.

Porky Pig: D-don't worry, D-Daffy will be here in a minute with the d-d-dou-d-d-money.
Broken Arms Hotel Manager: Well, I hope so.
Daffy Duck: [Bursts into the room and shoves himself into manager's face] Insulting my integrity, eh, Fatso? Insinuating I'd flee this flea-bitten dump, eh, Fatso? Intimating I'd abscond with your financial remunerations, eh, Fatso?
[By now, Daffy has gone so far into the manager's face that it has been pushed into itself]
Daffy Duck: Hey, look! A Dick Tracy character: Pruneface.

Broken Arms Hotel Manager: You have insult me! We meet on the field of honor!
[Slaps Daffy with a glove, then hands him a card]
Broken Arms Hotel Manager: My card.
Daffy Duck: [Punches holes in card] You've had your coffee ration for this week, Robespierre.
[Hands him the card, now a paper doll chain]
Daffy Duck: You have insult me! We meet on the field of onion!
[Hits manager with glove with horseshoe inside]
Daffy Duck: My card, you cad.
[Pastes a piece of fly paper on manager's face]

Daffy Duck: One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready, and four to... Geronimo!

[last lines]
[Daffy and Porky are chained up in their room]
Daffy Duck: I can't stand it. I can't stand it! It's getting me! I'm going stir crazy! Bastille batty! Cooler cuckoo! Look at my prison pallor. I'm as black as a sheet.
Porky Pig: Gosh, if B-Bugs Bunny was only here.
Daffy Duck: Yeah! Bugs Bunny, my hero. He can get out of any spot.
Porky Pig: I saw him in a L-L-Leon Schlesinger cartoon once.
Daffy Duck: The hunter had him covered...
Porky Pig: And he g-g-grabbed the gun...
Daffy Duck: And bang! The hunter fell. What a guy. Nothing can hold him. He'll get us out of here.
[Daffy picks up the phone]
Daffy Duck: Hello, Central? Give me Bugs Bunny. Hello, Bugs. This is Daffy.
Bugs Bunny: [on phone] Eh, what's up, duck?
Daffy Duck: That palooka manager has got us locked up in the Broken Arms Hotel. We thought you could help us get out.
Bugs Bunny: Eh, did you try the elevator?
Daffy Duck: Yes.
Bugs Bunny: Throw him down the stairs?
Daffy Duck: Yes.
Bugs Bunny: Use the sheets?
Daffy Duck: Yes.
Bugs Bunny: Swing across on the ropes?
Daffy Duck: Yes. We tried all those ways.
[The door to the next room opens; Bugs is inside on the phone, chained to a ball as well]
Bugs Bunny: Ah, don't work, do they?

Daffy Duck: Okay. We'll pay. We'll pay! Lemme see now, how much was it, how much?
[the manager pulls out the bill and reads it. We just hear babbling, but the total reads $500.62]
Daffy Duck: Sold to an American!
[Daffy bashes the manager on the head with a mallet and runs off]


Design for Leaving (1954)
Elmer Fudd: Every time you push one of those buttons, something happens to me.
Daffy Duck: Well, I'll tell you what, this time, you push a button.
Elmer Fudd: Alwight.
[laughs]
Elmer Fudd: I think I'll push this wed one.
Daffy Duck: No! No! No! No! No! Not the wed one! Don't ever push the wed one!

Daffy Duck: Here's the very last word in garbage disposal units. It's actually ten years ahead of its time.
[Throws garbage in]
Elmer Fudd: Say, that weawwy does the twick, awwight.
Daffy Duck: And it's so simple. It only has one moving part. Regardez.
[Opens doors under sink to show a pig eating the garbage thrown down the drain]

Daffy Duck: Say, I'll bet you're tired of looking at those dirty windows.
Elmer Fudd: Well, I, um...
Daffy Duck: We can take care of that.
[Pushes a button on the panel; a robot covers up a window with bricks]
Daffy Duck: There. Now you'll never have to look at those dirty windows anymore.

Daffy Duck: Say, here's a little gadget you're gonna love. Give me that.
[Takes off Elmer's bow tie]
Elmer Fudd: Hey!
[Mechanical arms drop down with a tie]
Daffy Duck: Ties any knot you want. Bow, four-in-hand, five-in-hand, false granny, Windsor, Schmindsor... Well, let's try this one.
[Pushes button]
Elmer Fudd: [gags as the arms choke him with the tie as a noose] Help! Get me down!
Daffy Duck: Whoops! Wrong button. Uh, that's the Alcatraz ascot.

Elmer Fudd: That's the wast stwaw! Pack up all this push-button nonsense and wemove it fwom my pwemises! I'm going upstairs and take an aspiwin.
[Walks over to door, then stops]
Elmer Fudd: My stairway's gone! What have you done with my stairs?
Daffy Duck: Stairs, schmairs. Come here.
[takes Elmer to a square on the floor]
Daffy Duck: We don't walk upstairs in the push-button home.
[Steps on a button on the floor]
Daffy Duck: We bring the upstairs downstairs.
[the top floor comes down around them]
Daffy Duck: Neat?
Elmer Fudd: But what happens to the downstairs?
Daffy Duck: Say, that's a good question. What do you say we find out?
[Pushes button again; top floor goes up again, leaving all the downstairs furniture crushed]

Daffy Duck: [Last lines] For a small price, I can install this little blue button to get you down.

Elmer Fudd: Say, I wonder what that wed button is for?
[he pushes the red button on the panel that says For Tidal Waves Only, the house raises into sky, Daffy Duck arrives in a helicopter]
Daffy Duck: For a small price, I can install this little blue button to get you down.


Beanstalk Bunny (1955)
Bugs: You're the Giant in the story of Jack and the Beanstalk, aren't you?
Elmer: Well, yes.
Bugs: And the Giant in the story of Jack and the Beanstalk wasn't after no wabbit, now was he? He was after Jack. Right?
Elmer: Well, I guess maybe that is wight.
Bugs: All right then.
[Pointing to Daffy]
Bugs: He is Jack.
Daffy: It's a lie. It's a lie. My name is, uh, Aloysius. His name is Jack. Jack Rabbit.
Bugs: Oh, no. You're Jack, all right.
Daffy: I am not. You're Jack.
Bugs: You are Jack and you know it, because it is a fact.
Elmer: I guess I'll have to open up with a pair of Jacks.

Daffy Duck: Boy, this is the kind of story I like. I can just taste all those pieces of eight. And doubloons. And triploons. And, uh, quadruploons. And, uh, uh, quintuploons.

Daffy: Keep your hands off me. I came here for those solid-gold goodies, and I ain't leaving without them. On account of I am greedy.

Daffy Duck: Odds my bodkins, a beanstalk. And all the way up to the sky too. Well, I better get to work climbing this thing or we won't have any picture.

Daffy: You could've stood up for your rights, you know? You milk-sop!

[first lines]
Daffy: Now there goes a salesman. He trades me out of a perfectly good, grade A, homogenized Holstein cow, and for what? Three stupid beans! Jack, you're a jerk!

[last lines]
Daffy: Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Eh, it's a living. Tick tock. Tick tock.


Drip-Along Daffy (1951)
Daffy Duck: [as the townsfolk carry hero Porky off] Hey, put down that comedy relief! I'm the hero of this picture! Carry ME on your shoulders! Give me the cheers! Give me... Give me... Give me one dozen roses.

Daffy Duck: [as street-sweeper] I told you I'd clean up this one-horse town.
Porky Pig: Lucky for him it IS a one-horse town.

Daffy Duck: Hankering for trouble, eh? Well, I would like...
[aside]
Daffy Duck: I would like? I would like a trip to Europe.
[back to Nasty Canasta]
Daffy Duck: I would like to introduce myself!

[Daffy enters the saloon, draws both guns; tears off chaps in the process]
Daffy Duck: Let justice be done! Tear up that mortgage! Unhand that farmer's daughter! Cease that... that... Seems awfully breezy in here. Uh, cease that rustling.
[notices he is pantless, covers himself up]
Daffy Duck: Slight pause while I adjust my accoutrements.

Daffy Duck: There's going to be a sneak preview, and the sneaks ain't gonna like it.

Daffy Duck: [leveling his gun in Nasty Canasta's face] Stick 'em up, homber! You're under arrest!
[Nasty Canasta bites off half of Daffy's gun and eats it]
Daffy Duck: [aside] Probably didn't have his iron today.


The Wise Quacking Duck (1943)
Mr. Meek: Say, that's that daffy duck.
Daffy Duck: You're not just whistling Dixie!

Daffy Duck: [Mr. Meek pulls a gun on him a second time] No, no! Not twice in the same picture!

Daffy Duck: [Disguised as fortune teller] Greetings, Gate. Let's osculate.
[Kisses Mr. Meek]
Daffy Duck: Ah, let's read the bumps on your head. Hmm, no bumps. We'll make some.
[Hits Meek on the head with a hammer]
Daffy Duck: Perhaps you'd like you palm read. Very well.
[Paints Meek's hand red]

Daffy Duck: [Offering Mr. Meek a cup of coffee] How may lumps does your wife usually give you?
Mr. Meek: Well, this morning Sweetypuss only gave me one lump.
[Shows Daffy the lump on his head]
Daffy Duck: Well, here, have another...
[Hits Meek with sugar bowl]
Daffy Duck: ...and some cream.
[Pours cream over Meek's head]

[last lines]
Daffy Duck: [in the oven] Say, now you're cooking with gas.

Daffy Duck: [singing while dancing in cakes and pies] Mammie's little poopie likes shortening, shortening, Mammie's little poopie likes shortening bread!
Mr. Meek: Say that's that Daffy Duck.
Daffy Duck: You ain't just whistling dixie!
[smashes a pie in his face]
Daffy Duck: Woo hoo, woo hoo, woo hoo!


The Scarlet Pumpernickel (1950)
Daffy Duck: [after jumping out the window and missing the horse] That's funny. That never happens to Errol Flynn.

[last lines]
Daffy Duck: It's getting so you have to kill yourself to sell a story around here!

Daffy Duck: The Lord High Chamberlain was simply furious.
Porky Pig: I'm s-s-s-s-simply furious.
Daffy Duck: But Milady Melissa was simply delighted.
The Fair Melissa: I'm simply delighted.

Sylvester: [Daffy and Sylvester get into a sword fight] En garde!
Daffy Duck: Riposte!
Sylvester: Café au lait!
Daffy Duck: Champs-Élysées!
[the two cross their swords]
Daffy Duck: Ha ha! You ain't got a chance! I'm the hero of this picture, and you know what happens to the villain.
Sylvester: So what's to know?

[first lines]
Daffy Duck: You're killing me! I'm being murdered! I can't stand this torture anymore! I'm dying, you're killing me! I'm telling you, J.L., you're typecasting me to death - comedy, always comedy. Ha ha, woo-hoo, woo-hoo, yuk yuk! Honest, J.L., you just gotta give me a dramatic part.

Sylvester: The wedding must take place tonight, milord. The Scarlet Pumpernickel is about, masquerading as a gentleman.
[Sylvester notices Daffy in disguise]
Sylvester: And who might you be, sirrah?
Daffy Duck: Mayhap, perchance, foppish that I am, *I* might be the Scarlet Pumpernickel?
Sylvester: You, the Scarlet Pumpernickel?
[Sylvester and the Chamberlain burst into hysterical laughter]
Sylvester: That's silly! That's ridiculous!
[Daffy raises his eyebrows at the audience, signaling that he is the Scarlet Pumpernickel]


Robin Hood Daffy (1958)
Daffy Duck: See yon rich, unwary traveler? I'll rob him of his gold, and give it to some poor, unworthy slob. That'll prove that I'm Robin Hood. Hm? Prithee, hm?

[last lines]
Porky Pig: I'm sorry, but I can't join you. I'm convinced you're just not Robin Hood.
Daffy Duck: [appearing in friar garb] Never mind joining me, I'll join you. Shake hands with Friar Duck.
[Daffy shakes hands with Porky, as his bill bends up again]

Daffy Duck: [watching Porky laughing hysterically] Ho ho and ha ha, eh? I'll ho ho and ha ha you, fat friar...
[runs offscreen and returns with a long stick]
Daffy Duck: ...with my trusty quarterstaff!
[Aside, to audience]
Daffy Duck: Actually, it's a buck-and-a-quarter quarterstaff, but I'm not telling him that.

Porky Pig: Prithee, O travelling clown, couldst thou directest me to Robin Hood's hideout? I wouldst fain join me up with his band of jolly outlaws.
Daffy Duck: Look no further, good friar, for I am he for whomst thou seekest. I am Robin Hood!
Porky Pig: Oh, cut it out. I'm serious. If you don't know where he is, just say so.
Daffy Duck: [swinging from a vine] But honest and truly, I am Robin Hood!
[Daffy crashes into a tree]
Porky Pig: *Sure* you are.
[Daffy's bill bends upward again]

[first lines]
Daffy Duck: [singing] Oh... Join up with me, so joyous and free / Away to old Sherwood hie / For I'm Robin Hood, and I'm very good / At avoiding the Sheriff's eye / So we'll trip along merrily / Thro' the green woods so gracefully / To trip it, trip it, trip it, trip it / trip it up and down / To trip it, trip it...
[trips down a hill]
Daffy Duck: ...trip it, trip it, trip it - Whoops! - trip it, trip it, trip it...
[falls into a pond]
Daffy Duck: [finishing song] ... so trip it up and down!

Daffy Duck: [using his quarterstaff] Ho! Ha ha! Guard! Turn! Parry! Dodge! Spin! Ha! Thrust!
[hits log with staff, causing it to recoil and hit him in the bill, bending it upwards. He pulls it down again]
Daffy Duck: Hmm, let's see now. Something's amiss here. Hmm... I'll run through it. "Ho, ha ha, guard, turn, parry, dodge, spin, ha, thrust."
[Bill bends up of its own accord]
Daffy Duck: Got it.
[Pulls bill down again]


Draftee Daffy (1945)
Daffy Duck: [singing] From the halls of Montezuma to the shores of Tripoli / Hear those bells of freedom ringing - Oh, no, it's just the phone for me.
[answers telephone]
Daffy Duck: Hello? Yes, this is Daffy Duck. You say you have a letter for me from the President? You'll bring it right over? Oh, you're the little man from the draft board. Gee, thanks.
[resumes singing]
Daffy Duck: Oh, the little man from the draft board is coming to see me. Oh, the... d-d-d-d-d - The man from the draft board? Oh ho-ho! Yipe!

Daffy Duck: I guess he's gone now.
The Little Man from the Draft Board: Well, now, I wouldn't say that.

The Little Man from the Draft Board: Good heavens. That was quite an explosion. Are you hurt, son?
Daffy Duck: Oh, I'm a little shaken up, but you should've seen what happened to that dope from the draft board. He was blown to smithereens, see? Smithereens!
The Little Man from the Draft Board: Well, now, I...
Daffy Duck: No! No! You wouldn't say that! It's you! It's you!

Daffy Duck: So long, Dracula! Hoo-hoo, hoo! You dope!

Daffy Duck: [has blown himself to Hell] Say, what's cooking? Where am I? Say, this place looks like... Hey, it is... I am in...! Oh well. Anyway, I sure put it over on that dope from the draft board.
The Little Man from the Draft Board: [takes off demon costume] Well, now, I wouldn't say that.
Daffy Duck: No! No! No! Don't! Don't say...
[runs away while the little man follows him]

Daffy Duck: [reading newspaper] "U.S. Army announces a smashing frontal attack on enemy rear."
[to camera]
Daffy Duck: A smashing frontal attack on enemy rear? HOORAY!


My Little Duckaroo (1954)
Daffy Duck: After all, it's not the principle of the thing, it's the money.

Daffy Duck: [with Mexican accent] I am the Frisco Kid. Please come quietly, Señor, or I shall whip you.
[Gets tangled in his own whip]
Daffy Duck: Well, you don't have to come quietly. You could make a little noise if you like.

[Daffy and Nasty Canasta play cards; Daffy deals]
Daffy Duck: [aside] I've got a royal straight flush full house with four aces high.
[to Canasta]
Daffy Duck: What do you got, stranger?
Nasty Canasta: [shoving a gun down Daffy's throat] I got a three of clubs.
Daffy Duck: Beats me.

Daffy Duck: I think you're pretty tough, don't I?

[last lines]
Daffy Duck: [Daffy has just lost a massive fight with Canasta] I told you I'd fix his little red wagon.
[He staggers out, wheeling a little red wagon behind him]
Daffy Duck: You should have seen it. The wheels were busted, the axle was all bent, and it needed a new coat of paint. Now... now I'm going home to mother.

[to his horse]
Daffy Duck: Hi-ho, Tinfoil, away!


Daffy Duck & Egghead (1938)
Egghead: That duck's crazy.
Daffy Duck: You're telling me?

[Egghead finally has Daffy when an asylum ambulance appears]
Nut House Duck: Gee, thanks a lot, chum, for catching this goof. You know, we've been after this guy for months. He's absolutely wingdingy, looney-tuney, and Oofty McGoofty. I feel sorry for the poor squirrel, but I'm telling ya, he's one-hundred percent nuts.
Egghead: Yeah?
Nut House Duck: Yeah!
[the Nut House duck honks Egghead's nose, then he and Daffy go hopping and woo-hooing together]

Daffy Duck: I'm not crazy. I just don't give a darn.

Daffy Duck: Ain't I some cutie? I think I'll do it again.

Daffy Duck: [singing] My name is Daffy Duck / worked on a Merry-Go-Round, / The job was swell / I did quite well Till the Merry-go-round broke down. / Hoo hoo! Hoo hoo! Hoo! Hoo! Hoo hoo! / The guy that worked with me, / Was a horse with a lavender eye, / Around in whirls, we winked at girls / Till the Merry-go-round broke down.
[flute solo]
Daffy Duck: Up and down and round we sped, / That dizzy pace soon went to my head, / Now you know why I'm dizzy / And do the things I do / I am a screw / And you'd be too / If the merry-go-round broke down / Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo-Hoo-hoo-Hoo-hoo-Hoo-hoo! / Yes, the merry-go-round brooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooke... down!


The Prize Pest (1951)
Porky Pig: The d-d-oorbell. Oh, i-it couldn't be the grand prize. He-he-he. I've never won anything in my life.
Delivery Man: [hands Porky a present] Well, you have now Here it is, lucky boy. The grand prize. He-he-he-he-he!
Porky Pig: Oh, f-fortunate, fortunate me. G-golly, I w-wonder what it is?
Daffy Duck: [pops out of present] It's a duck, fat stuff! A genuine live duck!
Porky Pig: A d-d-d-d-duck?
Daffy Duck: Yes, a d-d-d-duck.
Porky Pig: G-gee, just what I always wanted, I s-suppose.

Daffy Duck: Hmm. Not a bad-looking dump, if you got rid of some of this trash.
[Sees vase on table]
Daffy Duck: Yeesh! This monstrosity's got to go.
[Throws vase out the window]
Porky Pig: Here now, y-you stop that!
Daffy Duck: [Throws chair out window] This is out.
Porky Pig: C-cut that out! Stop it!
Daffy Duck: This junk goes.
[Throws more stuff out window]
Porky Pig: N-n-now you s-s-stop that!
Daffy Duck: Umm... Yup. That's gotta go.
[Picks up Porky to throw out the window]
Porky Pig: N-now you cut that out! P-p-put me down!
Daffy Duck: Oh, all right. If you wanna spoil the whole effect.

Porky Pig: N-now just a minute, you n-nervy old duck. You got outside in the chicken coop where you belong.
Daffy Duck: Coop, schmoop! I ain't sleeping in no chicken coop. I'm a duck. Have you got a duck coop?
Porky Pig: Y-yes, I have.
Daffy Duck: You have?
Porky Pig: Y-yes.
Daffy Duck: Oh. Well, is it a convertible coupe? Because I'm a convertible duck.
[a car top appears in Daffy's back]
Daffy Duck: See, chubby?
[Runs around making car noises]

Daffy Duck: Hmm. Guess I'll have to use my Jekyll and Hyde routine on this wise guy.
[knocks on door]
Porky Pig: Yes?
Daffy Duck: I'm sorry you did that to me. People shouldn't push me around. It isn't good for me.
Porky Pig: Oh, f-f-fiddlesticks. And why not?
Daffy Duck: Because I'm a split personality, that's why not. I'm two people in one. A schiz... a schiz... a schizophreniac. When people are nice to me, I'm sweet, gentle, and loving.
[Jumps into Porky's arms and starts caressing him, speaks in French accent]
Daffy Duck: Ello, baby. Nice, fat, little butterball.
Porky Pig: Oh, n-n-now stop.
Daffy Duck: But when some wise guy starts pushing me around, look... out! I turn into a hideous monster.
[Puts on fake fangs and messes up his hair, then pants and snarls at Porky, who jumps up to the ceiling and hangs on to a chandelier]
Daffy Duck: Get the idea, buster?
Porky Pig: I d-do, I do! Ind-deed I d-d-do! And I'll be r-real nice and k-kind and gentle to you.

Porky Pig: Oh, t-that treacherous trickster. I'll show him who's a knucklehead. I'll give him a dose of his own m-m-medicine.
[puts on a hideous Halloween costume]
Porky Pig: I hope I look sc-sc-scary enough.
Daffy Duck: Well, I think I'll go scare some more daylights out of the little butterball.
[he walks by a door, where Porky in costume walks by; he looks at Porky, thinking it's a mirror]
Daffy Duck: Sufferin' catfish. I didn't realize I was that hideous.
[pause]
Daffy Duck: I'm not!
[Daffy goes to pieces, then reconstructs himself, gets back inside the present and runs screaming out the door]
Porky Pig: Gosh, what a scaredy-cat. Anyone who'd be scared of a masquerade costume is a c-craven little coward.
[Passes by a mirror and sees himself, then jumps out of costume and into chandelier again]
Porky Pig: S-so I'm a c-craven little coward.


"Duck Dodgers: The Green Loontern (#1.9)" (2003)
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: [on becoming a Green Lantern] This is opening new doors to feelings I never knew I had! Finally! A chance to champion the merits of goodness and honor! A way to prove my... WHOA! Check out the serious babeage!

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: [trying to recite the oath of the Green Lantern Corps] Yeah, um, uh... In Blackest Day or Brightest Night... uh, watermelon, cantalope, yada yada... a superstitious and cowardly lot... with liberty and justice for all!

Hal Jordan: [WEARING Dodger's Costume] We must go to the same cleaners. Can, uh, can I have my ring back?
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: [chuckling] Looking good, hero boy! Heads up!
Hal Jordan: Thank you, little black duck.
[transforms to Green Lantern]
Hal Jordan: Oh, yeah! That's way better!

Kilowog: I'm the one who put out a distress to every Green Lantern in the universe.
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: You know, I really like to help. But I tee off with Spider-Man at 6 a.m. You don't want to keep a big star waiting.

Ganthet: This creature is not evil. Stupid, perhaps *very* stupid. But *not* evil.
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: Gee. Thanks Papa Smurf.


What Makes Daffy Duck (1948)
Daffy Duck: Obviously, I am dealing with inferior mentalities!
[Daffy Duck said this, after taking a forest ranger mask off, that he was wearing, and after nailing a "FOX SEASON" sign on to the tree, he was setting in, before the brawl started, as Elmer Fudd and the unnamed fox started to fight each other. Daffy Duck still is disguised as a forest ranger, blows a whistle. Then, Elmer Fudd started chasing the unnamed fox, as the closing credits musical theme begins]

Daffy Duck: Oh, it's you! You gotta excuse my nerves. You see, it's duck season, and confidentially, I'm a duck.
[to the theatrical audiences]

Daffy Duck: Look, you want a duck, right? And you want a duck, right? Well, both of you can't have me. Look, I'll tell you what. We'll settle this in a sporting fashion. You see that lonesome pine over there? Whoever reaches that tree will get tender, juicy me as first prize. On your marks, get set, go!
[the dust of Elmer Fudd's quick start, makes Daffy Duck think that Elmer Fudd and the unnamed fox both ran, to the pine tree]
Daffy Duck: So long, chumps!
Fox: Not so fast, my little feathered friend.

Elmer Fudd: How am I ever going to catch that scwewy duck?
Daffy Duck: Precisely what I was thinking, my little Nimrod.
[Daffy Duck had just successfully lassoed Elmer Fudd, causing Elmer Fudd's face to be visable, because he was so tight in his boot and hard to breathe]

Daffy Duck: [to Elmer Fudd, disguised as a female duck] You need someone who appreciates the finer things in life... Speaking of which, I have some lovely etchings up in my apartment." Looks around cautiously. "Wait right here, I'll bring'em down."
[Daffy Duck then looks under water and recognizes Elmer Fudd's boots]
Daffy Duck: Aha, an imposter!
[Daffy Duck then quietly sneaks away from Elmer Fudd, disguised as a female duck, then goes to near the fox and blows a duck call, immediately getting the fox to come to the pond that Elmer Fudd is diguiised as a female duck in. The fox then quickly grabs the disguised female duck, and the rubber costume stretches]
Fox: What kind of duck is this?


You Were Never Duckier (1948)
Daffy Duck: Five dollars for the best duck? You mean I came all the way from Dubuque for a measly five bucks? Five thousand dollars for the best rooster? Why, they can't do this to me! It's uncostitutional! It's... it's... Brother, could I use five thousand smackereenees. Hey, there must be a way. There must be.

Daffy Duck: Huh! I must be walking in my sleep. But how can I be walking in my sleep if I'm awake enough to know I'm walking in my sleep. The strange things people do in their sleep, especially if they're awake.

Henery Hawk: Hey, Pa, look at what I brung ya! Look at what I brung ya! A chicken!
Daffy Duck: And what a chicken, brother! Get a load of this gorgeous plumage. Feast your eyes at this outstanding comb. And besides, I'm the only five-gaited rooster in the world. So, why not save yourself the trouble and judge me right now, judge... Uh, judge... what was the name?
George K. Chickenhawk: Chickenhawk. George K. Chickenhawk.
Daffy Duck: Chickenhawk? Chicken hawk, eats us chickens. Well, I gotta go. I think my judge is burning, fudge... My fudge is burning, judge... I mean, my mother wants me. I got to crochet a cake. Uh, uh, goodbye!

Daffy Duck: Mr. Chickenhawk, sir, you're making a ghastly mistake. I'm an impostor, a charlatan, a fake. I'm a duck masquerading in the guise of a chicken. Look, I'll prove it.
[jumps off the hook and swims in a pail full of water]
Daffy Duck: Quack, quack, quack!
[jumps back onto the hook]
Daffy Duck: That ought to convince you.

Daffy Duck: Get a load of this gorgeous plumage! I'm a genuine Red Island Rhode chicken.
Henery Hawk: Is dat what you are?


Along Came Daffy (1947)
Daffy Duck: Yes, gentlemen, I have here just about the handiest, dandiest little bookfull of gastronomical surprises that ever tempted the jaded palate of a fastidious f-f-food fancier. Oh, don't bother fixing anything for me. I just finished my lunch. Urp! Take this recipe, for instance. Bassinet of baby borscht with sour cream. Mmm-mmm!
Sam's Brother: Yeah, yeah, but what does it say about roast duck?
Daffy Duck: Roast duck? Yes, sir. Roast duck, Roast duck... Here we are. Roast duck a la Oscar. First you take a duck. After lopping off its head and feet, you place it in a... Hmm. "Lopping off its head and feet." Gulp. Soups! A very delicious soup can be made from diced duck.
[Turns pale]
Daffy Duck: Di-di-di... What you want is a dish of delicious ice-cream. I'd like to see them sneak a duck into this one. Sundae Delight Supreme, sprinkled profusely with crushed duck. Gulp!

Daffy Duck: I suppose it would be utterly futile at this point to inform you that my company has authorized me to give away absolutely free a complete six-course turkey dinner.
Sam's Brother: Turkey dinner?
Yosemite Sam: Turkey dinner?
Daffy Duck: Why, certainly! Observe.
[Opens his suitcase on the table; out comes the turkey dinner]
Daffy Duck: Gentlemen, dinner is served.
[Yosemite Sam and brother eye the turkey dinner]
Daffy Duck: And gentlemen, as you enjoy your dinner, don't forget that the Klassy Kut Knish Katering Kompany made it possible. I bid you good day.

Daffy Duck: [as he is being chased] Hoo-hoo! My company... Hoo-hoo!... has authorized me to... Hoo-hoo!...

Daffy Duck: [Imitating Bugs Bunny] Eh, what's cooking, doc?

[last lines]
Daffy Duck: Good morning, gentlemen. Could I interest you in some delicious after-dinner mints?
[They grab Daffy and drag him back inside]
Daffy Duck: Well, here we go again!


Daffy Dilly (1948)
Daffy Duck: Now don't crowd, folks. Don't crowd.
[pause]
Daffy Duck: Well, isn't anybody gonna crowd?

Butler: [answers the door] Yeeeessss?
Daffy Duck: Your troubles are over, Jeeves! Lead me to your stricken master.
Butler: Be gone!
Daffy Duck: Can't go in, huh?
Butler: Eeh, no.

Daffy Duck: Skol.
Butler: Skol.

Daffy Duck: Oops! How Are Things in Glocca Morra?
Butler: Once and for all, I'm going to...
Daffy Duck: Not so fast, my man, Goddfrey! It becomes increasingly apparent that I'm not wanted around here.
Butler: Wh...
Daffy Duck: Are we to assume that there is anything significant in this attitude of yours? That A: A butler might not want his master to recover his good health.
Butler: But I...
Daffy Duck: That B: Said butler should endeavor to remove from the premises the only person capable of restoring said health, to said master.
Butler: Uh... no, no!
Daffy Duck: Where were you the night of April the 16th?
Butler: I... I...
Daffy Duck: A likely story! I see it all now, you and the upstairs maid. "Do the old boy in" you said. "Elderberry wine and old lace" you said. "Then, the quick getaway" you said. Rio De Janerio, tropical nights, romance and a heavy bank account!
Butler: No! No!
Daffy Duck: Yes! Yes! But, you weren't smart enough John. Alias Johnnie. Alias Jack. Alias Jackie! Phew! What's Humphrey Bogart got that I ain't got?

[last lines]
Daffy Duck: [after being hit in his face with pies, Daffy wipes each one off] It's a living.


A Star Is Bored (1956)
[Daffy is dressed as Bugs Bunny]
Daffy Duck: Oh, boy! I could be sent to prison for the scenes I'm going to steal!

Daffy Duck: I wonder where all the hunters are today?
[hundreds of hunters shoot at Daffy]
Daffy Duck: I demand to know who wrote this script!
Bugs Bunny: I'd like to tell him, but... Hehehehe... modesty forbids.

Daffy Duck: What a job for a duck with my talents, pushing a broom while others with absolutely nothing on the ball get all the breaks.
Bugs Bunny: [inside dressing room] Oh, it's so nice of you, Lolly...
Daffy Duck: Eesh! Listen to that ham putting it on.
Bugs Bunny: Well, I'm willing to do anything my public demands.
Daffy Duck: [mockingly] "Anything my public demands. Anything my public demands." That does it! If a long-eared rabbit can be a star, so can a duck!

[repeated line]
Daffy Duck: Make up!

Producer: [on phone] Yeah. Yeah, I know we need a double on the Bugs Bunny picture, but where can I get anyone stupid enough to take the job?
Daffy Duck: Okay, boss, hang up. A star is born, and that star is me!
Producer: I'll call you right back. I... I think I got a pigeon.
Daffy Duck: Pigeon? I'm not a pigeon. I'm a duck. D-U-K, duck. Loaded with talent. I do card tricks and impersonations. I work at weddings, bar mitzvahs... Have tux, will travel.


Plane Daffy (1944)
Daffy Duck: [jumping out of refrigerator] Well! Whata ya know? The little light. She stays on!

Daffy Duck: I'll do the job. I'm a woman-hater. She won't get to first base, this Hatta Mari tomater.

[Last lines]
Daffy Duck: They lose more darn Nazis that way.

Daffy Duck: I regret that I have but one secret to swallow for my country.


Thumb Fun (1952)
Daffy Duck: [Watching ducks flying south] Suckers! Going south the hard way, huh? Well, you won't catch this little black duck flapping his way to Miami. No, I'm thumbing it this season.

Daffy Duck: Mighty nice of you to give me a rid south. Going to Miami, I see? Well, what could be southier?
Porky Pig: Well, b-b-but I...
Daffy Duck: Oh, just a second while I get my bags.
Porky Pig: But there really isn't any room in the back. I...
Daffy Duck: [Carrying about a dozen suitcases] I always crave light. No use taking a lot of stuff you'll never use, I always say.
[Opens trunk and tosses bags in]
Daffy Duck: [singing] This is the way we pack our bags, pack our bags, pack our bags / This is the way we pack our bags to take them to Miami.
[Struggles to close trunk]
Porky Pig: G-Gosh, did you get them all in that l-little compartment?
Daffy Duck: Certainly. Take a look for yourself, buster.
[Porky opens trunk; all the bags come flying out, knocking him back]
Daffy Duck: Now that was a bright thing to do. Now we gotta stow'em all over again.

Cop: Kinda stepping on it, weren't ya?
Porky Pig: Well, you see... He, I...
Daffy Duck: Relax, I'll handle this. Oh, officer. This man's been acting very suspiciously. If I were you, I'd have a look in the back of the car.
Cop: Well, uh...
Daffy Duck: [to Porky] In the back... Boi-i-ing!
Porky Pig: Oh, n-n-no! Oh, n-no no, please don't look in the b-back compartment, M-mister officer.
Cop: Is that so, now? Well, that's just what I'm going to do, mister.
[Daffy snickers as the cop opens the trunk and all the suitcases come flying out and knocking him back]
Daffy Duck: Who-ho-hoa, Nelly! Well, let's go. I told you I'd keep you out of trouble, didn't I, buster.
[Cop grabs both by the shoulder]

Daffy Duck: [as Porky comes out of the police station] Well, how'd you make out, chum?
Porky Pig: He l-let me off easy. He only fined me t-t-two dollars.
Daffy Duck: Two dollars? Why that's an outrage! You wait right here. I'll fix it. I'll slap him with a habeas corpuscle.
[Goes inside, arguing heard]
Daffy Duck: Oh, he-he, looks like you'll have to cough up another fifty bucks. They slapped us with a reckless driving charge.
Porky Pig: I t-t-tried to tell you. Oh, d-drat that crazy duck anyhow!
Daffy Duck: [Get's kicked out] I hope you appreciate what I've done for you.
Porky Pig: Oooh... Oh, I do, I do. I really do. W-w-wait right here a minute.
[laughs evilly]
Daffy Duck: Now what's he doing in that gifty shoppe?
[Porky arrives with a present]
Daffy Duck: Well, what have we got here?
Porky Pig: Oh, it's j-j-just a little present for you in a-appreciation for all you've done for me.
Daffy Duck: A present for me? Oh, boy, give me my present! Give me my present, let me see what my present is! Come on, give me my present!
Porky Pig: Oh, n-n-no. It's a surprise for you. I'll j-just put it in here.
[Quickly puts present in trunk]
Porky Pig: And d-don't you dare peek.
Daffy Duck: Ooh, I hate not knowing what it is. I think I'll have a little peek.
[opens trunk, all the luggage comes flying out; Porky drives off laughing]
Daffy Duck: Ooh, the dirty double crosser!
[sees present]
Daffy Duck: My present. Oh, boy, I wonder what it is? I gotta see! Gotta see! Gotta see!
[Opens present; inside is an Acme Hitch-hiker Thumb, approved by AAA; cut to Daffy hitchhiking with fake thumb in the snow]
Daffy Duck: Oh, my aching thumb!


Hollywood Daffy (1946)
Daffy Duck: Hollywood, the city of the cinema at last! Home of fame, fortune, and Lauren Bacall.

Studio Guard: [Daffy enters covered in gold paint] Say, who are you supposed to be?
Daffy Duck: Peasant! For your sole information, I am the Academy Oscar, and J.L. is waiting.

Daffy Duck: It's amazing. Why, you're just what we've been looking for. That profeel. Those looks. What's Errol Flynn got that you haven't got? Don't answer that!

Studio Guard: Now, you little butinsky you...
Daffy Duck: Keep your hands off me! I came here to see the stars, and I ain't leaving until I see them, see?
Studio Guard: Well, for goodness sake. Why didn't you say so? I can show you all the stars.
Daffy Duck: You honest and truly can? Buddy? Pal? Chum?
Studio Guard: Sure. Here.
[Hits Daffy over the head and throws him in a garbage can]
Daffy Duck: [Sees stars around his head] Look at all the pretty stars. There's Hedy Lamaar, and Alexis Smith, and Dorothy Lamour, and Baby Schnooks, and... Sufferin' succotash, it's Ann Sheridan!
[Kisses star; both jump around going "Woo-woo"]


A Pest in the House (1947)
Elmer Fudd: Take this gentleman to suite 666.
Daffy Duck: Yes siree, sir!
Businessman: Just one more thing. I'm a tired man. I gotta have my sleep, plenty of it. So see to it that I get lots of peace and quiet. Because if I'm disturbed at any time, I'm gonna bust you right in the nose!
Daffy Duck: Likeable chap, isn't he.

Daffy Duck: [laughing hysterically] And then... and then... here's the pay off. Oh, it'll kill ya! When the farmer says, "Do you expect to come back here next year?", the salesman said, the salesman says... The salesman answers, he says... Hey, what do you know, I forgot what the salesman did say. Oh, but it was a riot! The funniest thing I've ever heard!

Daffy Duck: So, a fine kettle of fish! Here I work myself to the skin and bones trying to get this guy to sleep, and what do you do? Blow whistles! Just when I got things so quiet you could hear a pin drop, you bust in here and bust out with a whistle, and you snafu the whole works!How in the name of all that's reasonable do you expect a guy to get his slumber when a goof like you goes around making noises like a one-man Fourth of July celebration? He needs peace and quiet! It's positively outrageous!

Daffy Duck: Yes, sir!
Elmer Fudd: [very fast] For vewy mewitorwious service, you are herewith pwomoted to the position of manager. Take over.
[Elmer and Daffy exchange uniforms just as the businessman comes down to hit the manager; instead of hitting Daffy, he hits Elmer instead]
Daffy Duck: Noisy little character, isn't he?


Daffy Duck Hunt (1949)
[Daffy Duck jumps out of the freezer]
Daffy Duck: What a trip. What a trip! Blizzard all the way. Snow twenty feet deep, but we had to get the serum through. It was mush, mush, mush all night. Come on! Mush! Mush! Mush! Mush! Mush! Suddenly the glacier cracks! There's a roar! Tons of ice! No escape! *Aaaagh!* How's things been with you?

Daffy Duck: Oh ho ho ho, duck hunters is the cwaziest peoples. Ha ha ha.

Daffy Duck: Why the copious flow of lachrymal fluid, my garrulous canine?

Daffy Duck: [Porky has just shot at him] Oh, you got me! I'm going! I'm a-going! Goodbye now!
[runs off]


Fool Coverage (1952)
Porky Pig: Now, w-where did I put that screwdriver? I bet I l-left it in the oven.
[Looks inside oven with a lit match]
Porky Pig: Ah, h-here it is.
Daffy Duck: No accidents in the home, eh? You should never use a match to look in the oven.
Porky Pig: Oh, f-f-fiddlesticks.
Daffy Duck: You should use a flashlight, like so.
[Peeks inside oven with flashlight; it explodes]
Daffy Duck: Must have been a short in my battery.

Daffy Duck: I just gotta prove this meatball that the home is loaded with pitfalls. Aha, the hall closet.
[Peeks in closet, which is full to bursting]
Daffy Duck: Aha, just as I thought. A veritable booby trap. I'll just prime it a little.
[Adds more stuff, then goes to Porky]
Daffy Duck: Do you have a tennis racket I could borrow?
Porky Pig: N-no, I don't.
Daffy Duck: Hmm. Water skis?
Porky Pig: Uh-uh.
Daffy Duck: Golf clubs?
Porky Pig: N-n-no.
Daffy Duck: Outrigger canoe?
Porky Pig: N-n-no, I don't.
Daffy Duck: Croquet set? Elephant gun? Sidesaddle?
Porky Pig: N-n-no.
Daffy Duck: A yo-yo?
Porky Pig: W-why yes.
Daffy Duck: Well, where is it?
Porky Pig: R-right there in the hall closet.
Daffy Duck: Why didn't you say so in the first place?
[Runs to hall closet and opens door; all the stuff falls on him; emerges with yo-yo]

Daffy Duck: Good morning, sir. I represent the Hotfoot Casualty Underwriters Insurance Company of Schenectady.
Porky Pig: B-b-but I...
Daffy Duck: As everybody knows, most accidents occur right around the home. A Hot Foot accident policy pays you for any injury incurred in the home.
Porky Pig: B-b-but I, b-b-but I...
Daffy Duck: For instance, Hotfoot pays you one million dollars for a black eye.
Porky Pig: B-but I don't wa... One million dollars for a b-black eye?
Daffy Duck: Oh, of course, there are a few minor provisions. I'll read it to you.
[Puts earmuffs on Porky]
Daffy Duck: "Provided the accident occurs as the result of a stampede of wild elephants in your own living room, on the Fourth of July - of any year - between the hours of 3:55 and 4:00 p.m., during a hailstorm."
[Removes earmuffs]
Daffy Duck: Did that come through okay?
Porky Pig: Why...
Daffy Duck: All right, just sign here on the dotted line.
Porky Pig: Oh, b-but I don't want a policy. I n-never have accidents in my home. Now you'll have to excuse me, I have a g-great deal to do today. Good day, sir.
[escorts Daffy out the door]
Daffy Duck: Oh, he doesn't have accidents in his home, eh?

Daffy Duck: [Dazed from all the mishaps he had to endure] I represent the something-or-other insurance company. Could I interest you in an accident policy?
Porky Pig: Why, c-certainly.
Daffy Duck: Our policy... What did you say?
Porky Pig: After w-w-witnessing your unfortunate mishaps about the house, I'm r-ready to sign on the dotted line. T-t-there, now all I have to do to get a million dollars is get a b-black eye.
Daffy Duck: Provided the accident occurs as the result of a stampede of wild elephants in your own home between 3:55 and 4:00 p.m. on the Fourth of July during a hailstorm.
[Evil laugh]
Porky Pig: I kn-kn-knew there'd be a catch to it.
[Suddenly a pack of elephants stampede into Porky's house]
Daffy Duck: Stampede of wild elephants!
[Looks at watch]
Daffy Duck: 3:57 p.m.!
[Hears marching music outside; looks at calendar]
Daffy Duck: Fourth of July!
[Sticks head out door, is pelted with hailstones]
Daffy Duck: Hail storm! Oh, no!
Porky Pig: Oh, yes. A b-b-black eye. Pay me.
Daffy Duck: Oh, no. It distinctly says "a stampede of wild elephants and one baby zebra."
[Aside to audience]
Daffy Duck: I just added that one.
[Suddenly a baby zebra runs into the living room, trampling Daffy]
Daffy Duck: And one baby zebra.


The Night of the Living Duck (1988)
Daffy Duck: Look, it's Mummy Dearest. Still all wrapped up in yourself, I see.

Daffy Duck: Shmodzilla is just like any unemployed actor, except that when he pounds the pavement, it registers a ten on the Ritcher scale.

[after Daffy wakes up]
Daffy Duck: [dismissive] Shmodzilla.
Shmodzilla: You was expecting maybe Calvin Coolidge?

Daffy Duck: [reading comic] Story continued in Hideous Tales, issue number 177... gee, that's nice.
[freaks out]
Daffy Duck: Hideous Tales issue 177? Where is it, where is it?


Birth of a Notion (1947)
Daffy Duck: What a place. What a place. All it needs is hands coming out of the walls... like those over my head.

Mad Scientist: Give me your wishbone!
Daffy Duck: Oh, you mad, impetuous boy you!

Daffy Duck: [Opens a door and sees a moving landscape in the other side, as if from a moving train] Say, that's just plain old silly!

[last lines]
Daffy Duck: Oh, well. It didn't work at that place, but it's sure to work in this house.
Joe Besser Duck: [Coming out of the house] Not so fast! I'm working this side of the street... you crazy!
[Kicks Daffy into the air]
Daffy Duck: So I'm flying south jet propelled.
Leopold: [Flying with a fan tied to his back] You got company, duck. I'm headed south too.


"Duck Dodgers: Pig Planet (#2.1)" (2004)
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: Why, I'm your new Grand Brassiere! You know, Major Domo, Con-sig-lee-airy.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: Why, she's one Bar-B-Cutie.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: Hey, hamhock! We got a surprise for you!

Porky Pig: Halt in the name of Imperial Traffic Court 839!
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: You might want to try something with a little more bite to it.


The Duxorcist (1987)
Daffy Duck: Okay, so where's the fire? It's in the oven, I presume.
[He opens the oven to find an artic landscape inside]
Daffy Duck: Whoops, my mistake. Nothing a little Oozy-off couldn't fix.
[He opens the fridge; flames come out from inside]
Daffy Duck: Must be the frost-free kind

Woman: Ouyay upidstay erkjay!
Daffy Duck: Gosh, and I thought French was the romantic language.

Daffy Duck: [reading] "Of utmost importance in the exorcism of spirits is to keep them amused." Keep them amused, huh? I'll slay 'em. A guy comes up to me on the street, says he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So I bit him.
[a ghost appears]
Daffy Duck: Howdy, stranger. Just flew in from another world, I see. I bet your arms are tired.
[a second ghost appears]
Daffy Duck: They don't seem all that amused. Must be the culture gap. I'll hit a little closer to home. Did you hear about the girl who didn't pay her exorcism bill? Her soul got repossessed.

Daffy Duck: Hokay, when did you start having these visions?
[Woman breathes fire on him]
Daffy Duck: You're blocking!


Rocket Squad (1956)
Daffy Duck: [narrating] Like all criminals, he had an elaborate alibi prepared.
George "Mother" Machree: I didn't do nothing... I didn't do nothing! Like I said, I didn't do nothing!

Daffy Duck: This is the Milky Way. A nice galaxy. 875 billion trillion people live here. Yes, it's a nice place to live. It's my job to keep it that way. I'm a space cop. My name's Monday. My partner's name is Tuesday. He always follows me. It was Wednesday, January 23, 10:26 p.m.
Porky Pig: T-t-ten twenty-eight.
Daffy Duck: Like I said, it was 10:28 p.m.

Daffy Duck: 10:52: Back at the old desk, waiting for a call from the Chief. Half a cop's life is spent in waiting. 10:53: the Chief called.

Daffy Duck: Machree was found to be at Elsa's Blast-Inn, selecting a sandwich. 12:40: He selected a pastrami on rye with mustard. That figured. We didn't have much time. He was a notoriously fast eater. 1:07: He left the Blast-Inn. 1:08: We arrived at the Blast-Inn. Our deductions later proved that we had missed him by one minute. 1:09: We set out in pursuit.


"Duck Dodgers: Surf the Stars/Samurai Quack (#2.11)" (2005)
Happy Cat: HA HA HA! Happy Cat say nap-time is over! Wake up! You sleep too much!
[Dodgers presses the snooze button]
Happy Cat: HA HA HA! My snooze button is broken!
Duck Dodgers: That's not all that's broken if you don't shut up!
Happy Cat: HA HA HA! Very funny, lazy duck! But you can never defeat me! NEVER!

[Slicing robots back and forth]
Duck Dodgers: Robot... robot... ROBOT!
Cyber Pirate of the Future: Stop! Not a robot! Not a robot!
Duck Dodgers: [Dodgers stops] You're lucky I didn't cut you to ribbons
Cyber Pirate of the Future: Not with a Y7 rating, you won't.

Ah-Choo: Stop right there, Samurai.
Duck Dodgers: Thanks bud. I haven't walked this much in two seasons put together. Sheesh, I think I'm getting a charley horse here.
Ah-Choo: [Turning to face Dodgers] Ha Ha Ha!
Duck Dodgers: Hey, you're just my stupid alarm clock guy!
Ah-Choo: I am no simple piece of talking plastic! I am a heap, big, powerful wizard!
Duck Dodgers: Then I demand you use your paltry powers to send me home!
[Dodgers tears off his kimono, his hair splitting out]
Duck Dodgers: Behold my messy hair of determination!
[Dodgers charges at Ah-Choo]
Ah-Choo: Wait! What are you doing? Stop!
Duck Dodgers: [Dodgers stops, his sandals breaking apart] Cheap, counterfeit Manolo Blahniks.
Ah-Choo: First, Samurai Quack, we must have our customary battle preparation montage!
Duck Dodgers: Why?
Ah-Choo: Well... its many interesting compositions will build dramatic tension.
Duck Dodgers: Then let's get to it, Kurosawa.

Duck Dodgers: What the heck is that?
Ah-Choo: I think it's a monkey wearing lederhosen.
Duck Dodgers: Is he building dramatic tension too?
Ah-Choo: No. I think the editor is playing a dumb joke! Try to ignore him.
Duck Dodgers: Eww... now he's eating an apple with his foot. Ugh. Oh, I don't think I can ignore something like that.
Ah-Choo: Then fight!


Golden Yeggs (1950)
Porky Pig: J-j-jumping Juniper! A golden egg! T-twenty-four karat solid gold! I'm rich! I'm rich! W-who's resp-p-ponsib-b-... who's responsib-b-b... who did this?
Goose: I know who it was. It was me. But I'm no fool. I know what happened to the goose that laid the golden egg.
[Makes throat-slashing sound]
Porky Pig: W-w-well, come on now. Don't be bashful. Who did it?
Goose: I know who did it. He did it.
[Points at Daffy; the chickens lift Daffy over their shoulders, cheering]
Daffy Duck: Okay, so I laid an egg.

Daffy Duck: Say, what's going on around here? What's the big idea?
Rocky: All right, duck. Make with the golden egg.
Daffy Duck: Egg, schmegg. I can't lay no egg.
[the gangsters aim their guns at Daffy]
Rocky: I said lay an egg, duck.
Daffy Duck: Oh, he-he. I can't lay no egg just anywhere. I'm an artist. I've got to have atmosphere. Beautiful surroundings.
Rocky: Yeah? Okay, boys. Make with the atmosphere.

Daffy Duck: [after being blown out of the pool] It was ghastly. The deck just seemed to lift up under my feet. Then I was in the water. Black, oily water! I struggled!

[last lines]
Rocky: No egg?
Daffy Duck: Gulp!... Uh-uh.
Rocky: So long, pal.
[Aims his gun at Daffy's head and fires; Daffy ducks just in time, but the shock makes him lay a golden egg]
Daffy Duck: Huh? That just goes to show ya. You never know what you can do 'till... 'till you got a gun against your head. Well, Toodle-oo. See you around.
[Starts to leave, but Rocky stops him]
Rocky: Just a minute, duck.
[Points to a room full of egg cartons]
Rocky: Fill 'em up.
Daffy Duck: Oh, my aching back!
[Faints]


Muscle Tussle (1953)
Daffy Duck: And just who - and just who do you think you are? Trying to muscle in on my chick. If you're looking for trouble, brother, just start somethin'. Don't just stand there, start startin' somethin'.
Hunky Duck: Look friend, if you all don't stop flapping that big yap of yours, I'm gonna have to knock your head so far down between your little old shoulders, you'll have to unbutton your vest to eat.
Daffy Duck: Ho ho! That's rich, I'll say.
Hunky Duck: [knocks Daffy's head down into his vest]
Daffy Duck: [unbuttons his vest] One cheeseburger, hold the onions.

Melissa Duck: Goodbye, you scrawny little 9 pound weakling.
Daffy Duck: How do you like that? Calling me a scrawny little 9 pound weakling when it's perfectly obvious I'm a scrawny little 10 pound weakling. Hmph.

[trying to smash a large rock, Daffy falls pieces]
Daffy Duck: You're despicable.

Daffy Duck: Well, what do you call that?
Hunky Duck: You all can call me Shorty.


Tom Turk and Daffy (1944)
Daffy Duck: He's after me! He's after me! Don't let him kill me! Don't! Don't, I'm too young to die! Save me! Save me! Don't let him kill me! Hide me! Hide me!
Tom Turk: [Slaps Daffy] Okay, snap out of it. I'll hide you. Get under here.
[Puts Daffy under boulder]
Tom Turk: Nope, not here.
[Stuffs Daffy into hollow tree]
Tom Turk: Hide in here.
[Pulls Daffy out and kicks him up another tree]
Tom Turk: No, no. Up there.
[Chops tree down]
Tom Turk: No, no, no, down here.
[Tosses Daffy off cliff; he lands beak first into frozen lake]
Tom Turk: Nope. No good. Better try up here.
[Tosses Daffy all over the place]
Tom Turk: No, here. There. Here. There. Here. No, here. There. Here. There. Here. There. Here. There...
[iris out]

Tom Turk: He's after me! He's gonna kill me! Don't let him kill me! I'm too young to die! I have my whole life before me! Love! Travel! Good books!
[sobbing]
Tom Turk: Hide me! Hide me! Hide me!
Daffy Duck: [slaps Tom] Here, pull yourself together, Tom. Snap out of it! Snap out of it! You're verging on the hysterical!
[Hits Tom until he's unconscious]
Daffy Duck: Come on now, brace up. Brace up. There, that's more like it. Let's see now. Where will I hide this seagull? Ooh, here we are.
[Puts Tom's head under a boulder]
Daffy Duck: No, no, a little too obvious. Yeah, too obvious.
[Shoves Tom into a hole and tamps him down with a stick]
Daffy Duck: No, even more obviouser.

Daffy Duck: You lose something, fat stuff?
Porky Pig: I'm l-l-looking for a d-d-darned old t-turkey.
Daffy Duck: Sir! Do you mean to insinuate that I'd hide your d-d-arned old t-t-turkey?
Porky Pig: I was ce-ce-certain it came this way.
Daffy Duck: Well, I ain't talkin', see? My lips are sealed.
[Locks appear on Daffy's beak]
Porky Pig: Well, g-g-gee, uh, g-g-gee...
Daffy Duck: I ain't no stool pigeon, see.
Tom Turk: [Inside snowman] What a pal, what a pal, what a pal, what a pal, what a pal. What a pal.
Porky Pig: Oh, d-d-dagnabit. And I had everything r-ready for a nice, big t-t-turkey dinner.
Daffy Duck: Not a word out of me! I ain't no squealer. I'm no... Turkey dinner?
Porky Pig: Uh-huh. And with ch-ch-chestnut dressing too.
Daffy Duck: Mmm-mmm. No. No, I won't talk. They can't make me. I'm no stool pigeon. I'm not... Cranberry sauce?
Porky Pig: Yeah, and w-with mashed potatoes and green peas.
Daffy Duck: Mashed potatoes and green peas? Gulp. No. No, they can't sweat it out of me. I won't be a stool pigeon! I won't! I won't be a st... And... and candied yams?
Porky Pig: Uh-huh. C-Candied yams.
Daffy Duck: [Sobbing] The yams did it! The yams did it! The yams did it!
[Stands on a stool marked "stool pigeon", cooing like a pigeon; rushes the snowman with Tom inside in front of Porky and puts up hundreds of signs pointing to it]
Daffy Duck: I didn't wanna do it. It was those yams. Oh, those nasty yams!
Tom Turk: Quisling.
Porky Pig: C-c-come out of there. I've got you covered. C-come one out of there, you old turkye you. Come out or I'll b-blast you!
[Tom digs his way out and sneaks up behind Daffy]
Daffy Duck: Those nasty, delicious yams!
Tom Turk: [Puts his tail on Daffy before sneaking away] Gobble, gobble, gobble.
Porky Pig: So t-there you are, you old turkey.
Daffy Duck: Turkey? Who's a turkey? Now wait a minute, Myles Standish. I'm a duck. Quack, quack, quack! I can swim. Observe.
[Dives into snow and swims, then runs as Porky gives chase]


Ain't That Ducky (1945)
Daffy Duck: Sufferin' Succotash!
[Daffy Duck just said Sylvester the Cat's expression, immediately after the hunter succeeded in stealing the short-tempered duckling's satchel]
Daffy Duck: Open it! Open it!
[then the hunter almost sheds a tear reading what the duckling was so sad about, throughout this humerous cartoon then shows it to the audience, concluding the cartoon, then the closing musical credits begin]

Hunter: [Runs over a cardboard stand-up of Daffy] Oh, what have I done? I killed the poor duck.
Daffy Duck: [Disguided as kid] Speak to me, Daddy. Oh-ho-ho-ho! You bwoke my widdle daddy! You bwoke his widdle head! You bwoke his widdle spine! Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Hunter: I'll make it up to you. I'll raise you like you were my own.
Daffy Duck: Oh, boy! You'll be the mommy and I'll be the mean widdle kid!

Daffy Duck: Say, just a minute! There's supposed to be a barrel in here for me to hide in. It says so right here in the script. Someone's been lying down on the job. J.L. shall hear of this.
[a barrel is quickly painted]
Daffy Duck: There, that's more like it.


Cartoon All-Stars to the Rescue (1990) (TV)
Daffy Duck: This is odd. The picture is very dark. All I can see is...
Michael: You're looking into a bowling ball.
Daffy Duck: Yes, of course. That would explain the 7-10 split.

Daffy Duck: [about Michael's future] Ah, yes, I can see it all! Well, some of it.

[as Michael sees her future, he sees himself in a deathbed, with a terrifying look if he uses drugs too much]
Michael: That's- that's me. This is my future?
Daffy Duck: It is if you don't get so drugged!
[some cartoon characters visit and help Michael]
Gordon 'ALF' Shumway: You use, you lose!
Baby Piggy: Listen to us, Mikey! We care about you!
Bugs Bunny: What's up, doc, is your life! If you don't cut it out.
Kermit: There's nothing cool about a fool on drugs!
Huey, Dewey, Louie: [altogether] Just believe in yourself!
Michaelangelo: Yeah! You're excellent just the way you are! Without drugs!
Michael: [scared] HOW DO I GET OUT OF HERE?
[a door back to Michael's room appears in front of him and the characters]


Daffy's Southern Exposure (1942)
Daffy Duck: Mmm... Yum yum, hand sandwich!
[bites his hand between pieces of bark]

[first lines]
Daffy Duck: Them silly ducks! Going south every winter, north in the summer, south in the winter, north in the summer, south in the winter. Nyeh, they're in a rut.

[last lines]
Daffy Duck: Cí, cí! I like le Southsth American way. And I do mean Southsth!


Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990)
Daffy Duck: Long, isn't it?

Daffy Duck: Patently ridiculous.

Daffy Duck: Still lurking about? Don't you people have homes?


Who Framed Roger Rabbit (1988)
Daffy Duck: I've worked with a lot of withe-quackerth, but you are dethpicable
Donald F. Duck: Doggone stubborn little- That did it! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Daffy Duck: Thith ith the latht time I work with thomeone with a th-peech impediment.
Donald F. Duck: Oh, yeah?
Donald F. Duck: [shuts Daffy in a piano]
Daffy Duck: Thith meanth war.

[the Toons gather around Judge Doom's remains]
Mickey Mouse: Gosh, I wonder who he really was?
Bugs Bunny: I'll tell you one thing, Doc. He weren't no rabbit.
Daffy Duck: Or a duck.
Goofy: Or a dog.
Pinocchio: Or a little wooden boy.
Big Bad Wolf: Or a... sheep.
Woody Woodpecker: Or a woodpecker.
Sylvester: Or a pussy.

[Donald and Daffy are playing "Hungarian Rhapsody #2" in a session of dueling pianos]
Donald F. Duck: Hey, hey! Cut it out!
Daffy Duck: Doeth anybody underthtand what thith duck ith thaying?


(Blooper) Bunny! (1991)
[Daffy is just about finished complaining to Elmer Fudd about being accidentally shot by him during a take when he walks into a wooden plank and gets his beak stuck]
Bugs Bunny: NOW can we cut?
Daffy Duck: You smug son of a...

[Daffy is caught backstage in the middle of complaining to himself about the way the studio treats him]
Daffy Duck: Oh brother! 51st and a half anniversary. Who writes this slop? Ech! "Happy birthday, old chum, old pal, old buddy." They next thing you know, they'll stick me with three snot-nosed nephews! I wouldn't put it past them! It's just... ugh! Warner Brothers doesn't have an original bone in its...

[after Elmer fires a real shot]
Bugs Bunny: Cut.
Daffy Duck: No! Don't cut! Let the cameras roll to record for posterity whilst I give this two-bit Nimrod a severe dressing down.


Daffy Duck Slept Here (1948)
Porky Pig: And who is Hymie?
Daffy Duck: [laughs] Who's Hymie? That's rich, that's a lulu! Hey, Hymie. Come here, get a load of this.
[door closes by itself]
Daffy Duck: You wanna know who Hymie is, huh? Well, ask me. Go ahead, ask me.
Porky Pig: Who is he?
Daffy Duck: Oh, he's not much. Just a kangaroo. Just six feet of kangaroo, that's all.
Porky Pig: You're pixilated. T-There's no kangaroo in this room.
Daffy Duck: Oh, yeah? Well, you just watch. Hey, Hymie, come here a minute, kid.
[Daffy steps into an invisible pouch; only his head shows]
Daffy Duck: No Hymie, huh? How do you suppose I'm doing this?
[Daffy's head starts hopping around the room, as in an invisible kangaroo]
Daffy Duck: There, I hope you're satisfied. You've hurt Hymie's feelings. He's so sensitive.

Daffy Duck: Good night, fat boy.
Porky Pig: B-B-Buenas noches.
[turns off lights; Daffy turns them on again and taps Porky on the head]
Daffy Duck: What's "Bonus noches"?
Porky Pig: That's Spanish for "Bon soir."
Daffy Duck: Oh.
[Turns lights off; turns them on again and knocks on Porky's head]
Daffy Duck: What's "Bon sewer"?
Porky Pig: O-Oh, that's French for "B-B-Buenas noches."
Daffy Duck: Oh.
[Turns off lights; turns them on again and hits Porky's head with the alarm clock]
Daffy Duck: Uh... Oh, skip it!

Porky Pig: T-T-That does it! You web-footed, n-n-no good, two-timing, d-d-double-crossing, d-d-double-dealing, unsanitary old snake in the grass!
Daffy Duck: Unsanitary?


Porky & Daffy (1938)
Daffy Duck: Singin' in the bathtub.

Daffy Duck: I'm so crazy, I don't know if this is impossible. Woo-hoo!

Pelican Referee: Challenger, at ninety-five and one-fifth pound...
[Daffy pushes on the pelican's beak so it vibrates back and forth with random syllables]
Daffy Duck: Sold to the American Tabasco Company!


Go Go Amigo (1965)
Speedy: We interrupt this program again for a very exciting announcement. The duck with the pistola seems to be tied up at the moment. So back to the Mexican Bandstand with nothing but twist music. Everybody twist!
Daffy: [sitting on the record player all tied up] Twist he says. I can't even lift a finger.
Speedy: You want to twist too duck? Everybody twist!
[turns on the record player and Daffy starts spinning around]

Daffy: I should've taken up bullfighting. It's a lot safer.


You Ought to Be in Pictures (1940)
Daffy Duck: Psst. Hey, Porky. Say, you want a good job?
Porky Pig: B-but I got a good j-jo-j-position.
Daffy Duck: Oh, you call this a job? Working in cartoons? Phoo! I know where you can get a job in features, as Bette Davis' leading man. Three grand a week.
Porky Pig: Oh, I'm n-n-not good enough for that. Besides, I g-g-got a contract here.
Daffy Duck: You can get out of that. Just go up and tell the boss that you wanna quit.
Porky Pig: D-d-do you think I ought to?
Daffy Duck: Sure. Come on, come on. You don't get an opportunity like this every day. Come on.

[last lines]
Daffy Duck: Hey, Porky. I hope you didn't sign up here again, 'cause I know where there's a pip of a job at twelve grand a week, playing opposite Greta...
[Gets hit in the face with a tomato]
Daffy Duck: ...Garbo.


The Impatient Patient (1942)
Daffy: Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Chloe, happy birthday to you STOP, Signed Frank N. Stein.
[dashes off quickly and then comes back]
Daffy: That'll be 36 cents please. Hoo hoo hoo hoo hoo!

Chloe: [about Daffy] He don't know me very well, do he?
[tucks away a hammer]
Daffy: [pushing Chloe's carriage carrying a mallet] He don't know ME very well, do he?


Daffy - The Commando (1943)
Daffy Duck: [Daffy is surrounded by German planes] Messerschmitts! A whole mass of Messerschmitts!
Daffy Duck: [Daffy flys away. The Messerschmitts shoot each other and crash] A whole MESS of Messerschmitts!

[Daffy presents Von Vulture with a timebomb disguised as a clock]
Daffy Duck: May I present you with this little token of our esteem?
Von Vulture: For me? Danke schoen! Danke Schoen!
Daffy Duck: Oh, just a little going away present...


"Duck Dodgers: Enemy Yours/Duck Departure (#1.13)" (2003)
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: Nobody? Listen here Brunswick, only family members are allowed to call me 'nobody'.

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: [upon discovering Marvin's archenemy] Oh so this is the guy... Have you taken a close look at him lately? He's a jello head with a turkey neck, cauliflower ears, prune lips, and hot dog breath. Frankly, he sounds more like the HomeTown Buffet than an evil archenemy.


The Stupor Salesman (1948)
Daffy Duck: Ah, there's good news tonight!

Daffy Duck: Now let's face it chum. I'm not leaving 'til I sell you something! Now what'll it be? Just name it!
Slug McSlug: OK. You got brass knuckles?
Daffy Duck: Have I brass knuckles? Ho ho. Have I brass knuckles? Say, have I brass knuckles? Oh Yes! Brass knuckles! Here you are kiddo! Gee, I'd hate to get socked with those babies!


My Favorite Duck (1942)
Porky Pig: G-g-gosh, what a cra-cr-screwy duck.
Daffy Duck: That, my little cherub, is strictly a matter of opinion.

[as Porky chases Daffy around a tree, the film breaks; after a moment, Daffy steps out]
Daffy Duck: Ladies and gentlemen, due to circumstances beyond our control, we are unable to continue with this picture. But don't worry, I'll tell you how it came out. Porky is chasing me around and around that tree. He corners me, and moves in for the kill. Everyone thinks of me as a dead duck. Then I launch a counter attack. I shower him with lefts and rights. I come in for the coup de gracie. And Porky's crawling, literally groveling at my feet.
[Suddenly, a hook drags Daffy offstage; a loud bang is heard; Porky comes out, dragging Daffy behind him]
Daffy Duck: [dazed] He's begging for mercy... I'm killing him.


"Tiny Toon Adventures: Animaniacs! (#1.36)" (1990)
Daffy Duck: [to Bugs, after watching Elmyra's cartoon short] This is payback for all those rabbit season signs I put up, isn't it?

Porky Pig: Please, Bugs, I can't take anym-anym-I've had enough.
Daffy Duck: Yeah, when it comes to cartoons, us old timers only have a six minute attention span.


"Duck Dodgers: Invictus Interruptus/Pet Peeved (#2.2)" (2004)
Dr. I.Q. Hi: We believe the Invictus won't stop until Earth is destroyed.
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: And that's bad, right?

Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: Look, there's just gotta be a carefree zero maintenance pet. An energy mutator? Wow! Hey, they don't eat, sleep, shed, cry or poop!
Porky Pig: I have to admit it is pretty cute.


"Robot Chicken: Rodigitti (#2.8)" (2006)
Daffy Duck: First on the mic tonight is the reigning champion, the MC hunter, Elmer Fudd, with a PA!
Elmer Fudd: I'll get you wabbit! Ohh, I'm taking you to school, call me the professor / you're sexually confused, cause you're a cross dresser! You like to kiss men and that's real funny / call up Hugh Hefner, you a gay boy bunny! You're lost on this stage, you need a map, junkie / You made a wrong left turn at Albuquerque! One more, one more. I'm a pimp, 'cause my hunting powers are hot, son / You would ride by on your home with my double barrel shotgun!

Bugs Bunny: Yeah, yeah. I know that you call me a "Rascally Wabbit", you say your R's like your W's, that's a really bad habit! It's room not womb, trees not twees, you replace so many R's, I thought you was Chinese! You're so stuck on yourself, I'll call you Elmer's Glue, I got you some coffee, one lump or two?
Elmer Fudd: Two?
[Bugs bashes a mallet on his head two times]
Bugs Bunny: [dressed in a dress and wig] I only dress like a goil to prove that you're gay, would you like a kiss handsome?
Elmer Fudd: Really? Okay.
Bugs Bunny: Elmer packs fudd, you heard what I said, he's so bald, I'll put a hare on his head! I'll sit down on your head, just like I was a thinker. Hmm...
[farts]
Bugs Bunny: Ain't I a stinker?
Daffy Duck: Holy Toledo! B. Rabbit wins! B. Rabbit wins!
Elmer Fudd: [sobbing] I'm a disgwace!


The Up-Standing Sitter (1948)
Daffy Duck: Life is bitter for I am a sitter and put little kiddies to bed. While I tuck the sheet around their feet, they're busy slappin' my head. They throw their trains and rattle my brains; my head is full of dents. No wonder I'm sour; goes on by the hour! And each hour I earn fifty cents.

[Last line]
Daffy Duck: [on phone, as Spike spanks him] Hello, Acme Baby Sitting Agency? It looks like your star sitter is going to have to do his sitting standing up.


"The Looney Tunes Show: Newspaper Thief (#1.14)" (2011)
Daffy Duck: One of you stole my newspaper. Confess!
Bugs Bunny: Really? You're really going there?
Daffy Duck: Yeah, I'm going there.
Granny: Where is he going?
Bugs Bunny: Because if you go there, *I* will go there. And you do not want to be there when I get there. Because when I get there, I will be so there that you will wish you had stayed right here.

Bugs Bunny: Well? Say you're sorry!
Daffy Duck: Uh...
Bugs Bunny: You can't say it can you?
Daffy Duck: I can say it. Uh...
Bugs Bunny: Then say it.
Daffy Duck: I'm... solly
Bugs Bunny: Did you just say you're solly?
Daffy Duck: I'm soggy.
Bugs Bunny: You're soggy?
Daffy Duck: I'm sarmy.


The Henpecked Duck (1941)
Daffy Duck: Hocus-pocus, flipity-flam, razamataz, and alakazam!

Daffy Duck: Observe closely. Nothing up here...
[lifts one sleeve]
Daffy Duck: ...nothing up here...
[lifts other sleeve]
Daffy Duck: ...and nothing up here.
[points at head]


Bugs Bunny's 3rd Movie: 1001 Rabbit Tales (1982)
Daffy Duck: What a way for a duck to travel, underground.

Daffy Duck: Since when is Pismo Beach inside a cave?


Cracked Quack (1952)
[after crashing during a blizzard]
Daffy Duck: Holy smokes! That building ran right out in front of me!

Porky Pig: Oh, th-th-this darned old income tax would come out all right if I only had a f-f-few dependants.
Daffy Duck: Did you say dependants?
[Opens door to reveal ducks partying in kitchen]
Daffy Duck: You got 'em, brother.


Duck Soup to Nuts (1944)
Daffy Duck: I'm not just your ordinary, meat-on-the-table duck. I'm gifted. I'm just slopping over with talent.

Daffy Duck: You can't catch me, fatso, because I can hold my breath underwater practically indefinitely.


Daffy Duck and the Dinosaur (1939)
Daffy Duck: [after painting a self-portrait on a rock] Not bad for someone who never had a lesson in his life.

[in heaven, after the inflatable duck explodes and kills everyone]
Daffy Duck: You know, maybe that wasn't such a hot idea after all.
Casper Caveman: Good night, folks.
[Iris out]


Baby Bottleneck (1946)
[answering phones at the stork's office]
Daffy Duck: Good morning, Pig-&-Duck-Nip-n-Tuck Delivery Service. Yes, madam, your baby's on the way, yesirree. Parcel post. Good morning? I'm sorry, Bing, you've used up your quota. Hello? Oh yes, Mr. Cantor. You say you haven't got that boy yet? Well, if at first you don't succeed...
[laughs and goes to a long-distance phone]
Daffy Duck: Hello? Oh, Mr. Dione. What? Mr. Dione, *please*. Hello? Yes, I know all deliveries are late. Oh, yeah? Well you're another! Hello? Sorry but... *quiet*!
[the phones stop ringing. Daffy sighs with relief]

Porky Pig: Gosh. Here's an egg w-without an address. D-D-Daffy!
Daffy Duck: Yes, sir.
Porky Pig: This egg has no address. You'll have to sit on it and hatch it out to see who it b-belongs to.
Daffy Duck: Yes, I'll have to sit on it, and... Oh, no! Oh-ho, no! Sitting on eggs is out. O-W-T out.


Yankee Doodle Daffy (1943)
Daffy Duck: Yes, sir. Daffy Duck, personal representative of the biggest discovery since the Sweater girl. He's colossal! Stupendous! One might even go so far as to say... he's mediocre. I give you that paragon of pep and personality, Sleepy Lagoof!

Daffy Duck: [singing as he chases Porky] Over hill and over dale we're always on the dusty trail, hunting fox and hunting quail heigh ho I'm a hunting fool, giddy up giddy up giddy up my horse and now your up the final creak, giddy up giddy up giddy up just like the wind I ride my forward steed, sure of foot sure of eye peeling onions makes me cry, this makes no sense so do I,
[shouting]
Daffy Duck: So don't you go and beat me daddy to the nearest bar, yeah!


"Duck Dodgers: Shiver Me Dodgers (#1.7)" (2003)
Long John Silver the 23rd: I be Long John Silver the 23rd.
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: Long John Silver? What is that, some kind of copyright infringement?
Long John Silver the 23rd: Yar, it be in the public domain; I had me lawyers check it.

The Martian Commander: You couldn't lift it anyway. It's made from the dense material found inside a collapsed star.
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: You mean like what's inside Liza Minnelli?


Scrap Happy Daffy (1943)
Daffy Duck: How do you like that, Schicklgruber?

Daffy's Ancestors: [singing] Americans don't give up!
Daffy Duck: That's right! And I'm an American. Duck.


The Million Hare (1963)
Bugs Bunny: [talking to Daffy as he watches TV] Hey, Daffy, how about taking a hike down to, uh...
Daffy Duck: Shh.
Bugs Bunny: But, Daffy...
Daffy Duck: Shh!
Bugs Bunny: What gives? I invited you up here for a vacation and all you want to do is watch TV.
Daffy Duck: Which is extremely difficult when somebody is constantly butting in.
Bugs Bunny: [talking to outside people] Well, if you can't lick 'em, you might as well join them.

[Just after "Beat Your Buddy" was mentioned, Daffy Duck calls it his favorite and never misses watching it, Bugs speaks to the audience]
Daffy Duck: Oh goody, this my all time favorite show, I never miss it.
Bugs Bunny: [after Daffy calls "Beat Your Buddy" his favorite, Bugs speaks to listeners and watchers] Huh, he never misses any of them.


Don't Axe Me (1958)
Daffy Duck: Sneaky slob!

Elmer Fudd: [holding a dish of food] Here duck duck duck duck duck! Come and get your breakfast.
[Daffy eats everything, including the dish, up to Elmer's arm]
Elmer Fudd: Don't eat my arm off. Tsk tsk, I never saw anyone so greedy!
Daffy Duck: [swallows the food and dish] Quack quack?
Elmer Fudd: Now you've had enough. I never saw such a greedy pig.
Daffy Duck: Oink oink!


"The Looney Tunes Show: The Float (#1.23)" (2011)
Daffy Duck: Bugs! I knew it! I knew you'd come through for me! I knew if I stayed in here long enough, and sobbed loud enough, you'd make me another parade float! It wasn't easy - there were days when I wanted to give up, when I wanted to come out of my room, maybe take a shower. But I persevered, I stayed in my room, and I sobbed even louder, because I knew that you needed that time, and that motivation, and I was right! Thank you, brother!

Bugs Bunny: Why can't you just drive a normal car?
Daffy Duck: Normal cars are for normal people! I'm not normal!
Bugs Bunny: I'll give you that.
Daffy Duck: You're my best friend! You know me better than anyone! You see what a horrible person I am! That's why I *have* to drive a parade float! To distract the *rest* of the world from seeing it!
Bugs Bunny: You're gonna need something better than a parade float.


To Duck... or Not to Duck (1943)
Daffy Duck: Sportsman? Listen, sport! You don't know the meaning of fair play! What chance has a poor helpless fluffy little winged creature like me against you?
[taking away each item from Elmer as he mentions it]
Daffy Duck: You, with your bullets, and your shotgun, and your knife, and your duck call, and your hunting coat, and your hunting dog, and all kinds of stuff like that there! What protection have I got? A bulletproof vest, I suppose!
[parts his feathers to reveal just that]
Daffy Duck: Heh-heh. How did that get there?

Duck Referee: Now shake hands.
Daffy Duck: Which hand do ya take?
Elmer Fudd: Mmmm... uh, that one.
Daffy Duck: Wrong. Guess again.
Elmer Fudd: All wight, all wight, I'll take that over there.
Daffy Duck: [to camera] Ain't he a dope?
[back to Elmer]
Daffy Duck: You *sure* this is the one you want?
[Elmer nods enthusiastically]
Daffy Duck: YOU'RE RIGHT!
[hits Elmer with an enormous hammer that had been held in his other hand but hidden behind his back]
Daffy Duck: That's the right one!
Duck Referee: And... here's round one comin' up!
[dings bell; Elmer immediately falls]
Duck Referee: 1, 3, 9, 10, YOU'RE OUT! The winner and new champion, Daffy Duck!
Elmer Fudd: I'm not one to compwain, Mr. Wefewee, but I thought you said no WOUGH STUFF! Nunna THIS
[KONG]
Elmer Fudd: or THIS!
[Whop!]
Elmer Fudd: or THIS
[KONK!]
Elmer Fudd: or THIS
[Ka-HOONGK!]
Elmer Fudd: ...!


Daffy Duck's Movie: Fantastic Island (1983)
Daffy Duck: You wasted a wish! I wish that burrito was stuck on your big dumb nose!
Speedy Gonzales: [The burrito appears on his nose] Help! Get it off. I can't breathe nothing but burrito!
Daffy Duck: Well Sam, it looks like we'll have to use your wish to get the burrito off his nose. It's the only humane thing to do. Sam? Sam?
Yosemite Sam: Too late, Duck, I already wished for a pirate ship. After I sinks a certain pesky rabbit, I'll come back and pick you up!

Daffy Duck: You're despicable!


Ducking the Devil (1957)
Daffy Duck: I may be a craven little coward, but I'm a *greedy* craven little coward. I just gotta have that five Gs!


"Duck Dodgers: K-9 Kaddy/Pig of Action (#1.6)" (2003)
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: For a minute I thought this was real, but it must be a dream because if it wasn't this would really hurt. And I don't feel a thing. As a matter of fact, my whole face seems to be numb.


Wise Quacks (1939)
Mama Duck: [sniffing Daffy's breath] Daffy have you been drinking?
Daffy Duck: [offended] Me drinking? Me drinking?
[drunkenly]
Daffy Duck: Yes!
[Mrs. Daffy hits him with a rolling pin]


"The Looney Tunes Show: Mr. Weiner (#2.24)" (2013)
Daffy Duck: Soon you'll be calling me, Mr. Weiner!
Speedy Gonzales: I already do. And a whole lot worse.


Nasty Quacks (1945)
Daffy Duck: This will kill you. Listen to this.
[laughs]
Daffy Duck: We was in the house and everything was flying. The furniture was goin' in the door and out the window!
[laughs even harder]
Daffy Duck: What a time! One guy was swinging from a chandelier. You would've thought he was a monkey!
[laughs]
Daffy Duck: Come to think of it, he was a monkey!


Daffy Duck for President (2004) (V)
Daffy Duck: Can you imagine anything so ridiculous as majority rule?


"Duck Dodgers: Diva Delivery/Castle High (#2.10)" (2005)
Porky Pig: That's an oxymoron sir.
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: What did you call me?
Porky Pig: An oxymoron is a figure of speech in which contradictory terms are combined... like 'free trade' or 'compassionate conservatism'.
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: That attitude of yours is killing us in the fly-over states.


"The Looney Tunes Show: Devil Dog (#1.8)" (2011)
Bugs Bunny: Sleep well?
Daffy Duck: Why? Are you implying that I wet the bed?


Swing Ding Amigo (1966)
Daffy Duck: [after being blown up by a grenade] Starkle starkle little twink, up above the skating rink.


"Duck Dodgers: In Space, No One Can Hear You Rock/Ridealong Calamity (#3.12)" (2005)
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: If you aren't sure what city you're in, just yell "Thank you, Detroit!" There's a 47% chance you'll be right.


Daffy Duck in Hollywood (1938)
Daffy Duck: [after sky-writing "Warner Bros." with a cigarette] Just giving my bosses a plug. I've got an option coming up.


Looney Tunes: Stranger Than Fiction (2003) (V)
Porky Pig: Hi! Porky's Pizza Palace!
Daffy Duck: I'd like a pizza with everything on it! I'm at the Royal Mallard. Penthouse number five.
Porky Pig: Okay. I'll be there in thirty minutes or less or your pizza is fr... no charge.


Book Revue (1946)
Daffy Duck: Swing music. Jazz. Phooey! Ah, bublichas, how difference in my native willage. Soft music, wiolins, the happy peoples sitting on their balalaikas, playing their samovars. And then, there was Cucaracha. Ah, Cucaracha: so round, so firm, so fully packed, and so easy on the draw. They would sink to me a little gypsy love song, like this. Listen. CUCARA-CHA! Cucaracha, cucaracha - hoo hoo hoo hoo! Cucaracha, cucaracha - hoohoohoohoo!


"Duck Dodgers: Hooray for Hollywood Planet (#1.11)" (2003)
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: Wow! That's a Pluto Nash-sized bomb!


Carnival of the Animals (1976) (TV)
[First lines, Bugs and Daffy argue]
Bugs Bunny: Saint-Saens
Daffy Duck: Saynt-Saynes
Bugs Bunny: Saint-Saens
Daffy Duck: Saynt-Saynes
Bugs Bunny: Saint-Saens
Daffy Duck: It's pronounced Saynt-Saynes
Bugs Bunny: It is pronounced Saint-Saens
Daffy Duck: Saynt-Saynes
Bugs Bunny: Saint-Saens
Daffy Duck: The man's name is Camel Saynt-Saynes
Bugs Bunny: The man's name is Camille Saint-Saens
Daffy Duck: Camille? CAMILLE? Who ever heard of naming a name Camille?
Bugs Bunny: Never the less, Camille 'IS' his name.


Carrotblanca (1995)
[Penelope enters the restaurant]
Daffy Duck: [to Penelope] Hit the road, sister!
[He and Penelope fight and she kicks Daffy out]


The Stupid Cupid (1944)
Daffy Duck: Say, keep your arrows out of other people's businessesses... buster! You shot me last year, and look what happened. Tied down. No more fun. Now look at me. A has-been. A hen-pecked duck. A canvasback Cassanova. And it's your fault, you bare-backed bandit. So beat it, bub. Take a powder. Scram!


This Is a Life? (1955)
Daffy Duck: [Daffy pats his stomach] Easy, stomach. Don't turn over, now. Easy does it.


"Duck Dodgers: Duck Codgers/Where's Baby Smartypants? (#1.4)" (2003)
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: It sure was nice of that police officer to loan you his car.
Porky Pig: What police officer?
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: You know. The one you asked to borrow this car.
Porky Pig: I didn't ask anybody to borrow this car. I thought you did.
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: Yes, it sure was nice of him.


Porky's Duck Hunt (1937)
Daffy Duck: Ha ha! It's me, again!


Quacker Tracker (1967)
Daffy: Forget about that lifetime membership buster. With Speedy Gonzales around, life would be to short to enjoy it anyway.


The Spy Swatter (1967)
Daffy Duck: Sometimes, it just doesn't pay to think.


"Duck Dodgers: I'm Going to Get You Fat Sucker/Detained Duck (#1.5)" (2003)
Count Muerte: How much would you say the cadet weighs? Have you measured his body fat ratio? What is his cholesterol count?
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: Look, Bub. I didn't come clear across the galaxy to talk about how *fat* my pig is.


Conrad the Sailor (1942)
Daffy Duck: Very sloppy, Roscoe. You're a slovenly housekeeper.


Quack Shot (1954)
[last lines]
Elmer Fudd: [after being defeated by Daffy] Duck hunting is too stwenuous. I'll try fishing for a while. Oh, boy! A miniature wed-stwiped bawwacuda!
Large Fish: [Storming in] Stop right where you are!
Elmer Fudd: Huh?
Large Fish: [Saxophone riff heard as little fish swims away] Now you listen to me, buster! If you catch one more fish - *just one more fish* - you'll be in trouble!
Daffy Duck: [after Large Fish jumps back into the water and Daffy comes out of hiding from under Elmer's hat] Strong union.


"The Looney Tunes Show: Best Friends (#1.1)" (2011)
Daffy Duck: I'd like to propose a toast to the most important person on this ship.
[Ship captain stands]
Daffy Duck: Sit down you glorified bus driver!


"Duck Dodgers: The Trial of Duck Dodgers/Big Bug Mamas (#1.3)" (2003)
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: [to a hysterical Cadet] Find your center, Honey-baked.


The Daffy Doc (1938)
Dr. Quack: [preparing to operate] I must have it quiet!
Daffy Duck: [reading signs aloud as he holds them up] SHHH! Shut yo' mouf! Zol zayn sha! Silence is FOO! Hoo-HOO!


Looney Tunes: Reality Check (2003) (V)
[Porky Pig has just been voted off of the island]
Daffy Duck: Too bad he didn't stick around for the pig roast.
Bugs Bunny: [laughs] Yeah, "Porky: the other white meat!"


"Duck Dodgers: The Best of Captains, the Worst of Captains/That's Lifomatica (#3.5)" (2005)
Daffy Duck as Duck Dodgers: You? You're more delusional than you think I am!